Spirituality and sexuality: two sides of the same coin

Spirituality and sexuality encompass two facets of our inner spirit—the life force within us

Lovers merging with the universe | Concept of spirituality and sexualityIn a sense, spirituality eases our passage through life as spiritually-aware people. Those who live in the now enjoy every moment more fully. Interestingly, some would say that sexual awareness helps us achieve the same goal!

Those who are both aware of and comfortable with their sexuality enjoy better interpersonal relations—whether with partner, friend or colleague—as they have a better perception of the influence they are capable of exerting on people around.

Spiritual bliss that follows a heightened state of awareness induces a feeling of being beyond it all. Likewise, sexual gratification also yields an experience of being away—albeit momentarily—from the aches and pains of mundane living.

Why, then, those who make spiritual enlightenment their aim often celibate? It would be quite a blow for a spiritual seeker to wake up one day and find that s/he has renounced what many call one of life’s more [some would say most!] pleasurable activities in vain.

The truth of spirituality and sexuality

Spiritual enlightenment is a quest that calls for an inward journey. It is essentially about understanding the self by connecting within and then carrying that heady experience from without. It is a process of self-empowerment. A seeker aims for full control over his/her experience of bliss. In other words, you may switch on/off as you will, when you please, for as long as you desire, for the switch is in your hands.

Sex, as we know, needs two to tango. Sex is all about understanding your partner, and connecting without to feel whole within. As psychologist Erich Fromm explained in his amazing book The Art of Loving, our need to love lies in the experience of separateness along with the resulting need to overcome the anxiety of separateness by the experience of union.

Spirituality is in the mind, sexuality in the body

Spiritual bliss is a mind game. It is experienced in the mind both during and after a meditation session. Sexual bliss is largely a play of our body organs—an increased flow of blood in the genital region followed by muscular contractions experienced as release that is fleeting.

The mental liberation experienced during meditation is energy-giving. Sex, in spite of giving you a momentary high, is energy-depleting.

A spiritual high may be maintained for as long as you [and, you alone] are able to. A sexual high is largely dependent on your partner’s sexual prowess. Physical organs need rekindling to re-induce pleasurable sensations.

Yet, for many, sex is the closest they will come to experiencing spiritual bliss in their lifetime!

However, it goes without saying that there can be no replacing the original.

Spiritual bliss wins hands down when it comes to control, intensity and duration. In other words, think of sex as an alternative for you to enjoy until you choose to dive within.

Redefining bliss

Since we were not born to be celibate, is there a way for you to enhance your blissful experience born of sexual indulgence? There is!

Aim to be a detached love

This may sound contradictory for you would believe that you need to feel involved when making love. But, step aside [in your mind] from your own needs and try to focus on your partner’s desires instead. You’ll love better and be loved more for it in return.

Learn meditation

Yes, even if you do not plan to turn celibate. Meditation is all about being aware of your inner spark. This will happen only after you are more conscious of your senses. You may not experience bliss instantly, as a Buddhist monk does, but you’ll certainly acquire a new sensitivity that will enhance your enjoyment of sensual pursuits.

Sexual bliss is an escape from the drudgery of modern living. Use your power of imagination to train your mind to take pleasure from a situation so that when you have sex, you are not merely relying on your bodily response. Allow your imagination to soar. Practice to look intently at a picture-postcard scenery. Then close your eyes and imagine the same vista. Try the same exercise [recreate the scenery in your mind] with your eyes open. Once you get a hang of it, allow your mind to conjure a sensual image of your choice. Keep this image in mind when you make love. It works!

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