The charming and strong Becki Hawkins is a retired hospice nurse and a chaplain. She has sat by the bedside of seriously ill and terminally ill patients for more than 30 years as an oncology and hospice nurse. During that time, she listened to patients describe various kinds of spiritual experiences, including near-death experiences [NDEs]. The above video is of a talk that Becki gave to a small group of people in Sedona, Arizona.
Watch it. It’s a wonderful and moving talk; the experiences she shares are remarkable. Becki shares many stories which, with her style of narrating, is a joy to watch.
At 1:01, she discusses issues faced by family members of a terminally ill or dying patient. Not every member of the family can be there by the bedside, she says. Some people are just not able to get themselves to be there. Either the needles and tubes make them nervous or just the fact that it’s time to say good-bye.
Becki suggests that in such situations families should not point fingers and send the other person on a guilt-trip saying, “You were not there when s/he wanted to see you.” She adds,”It’s not your job to see what the others are doing, it’s only your job to see what you are doing”. In such a case, instead of comparing and complaining, it is better to engage these people with other errands that need attending to, so that they too feel like they are contributing and it helps to share the load. See how they can contribute and put them to use. Don’t push them away.