Your soulmate is a mirror

...that reflects your whole self to you, helping you see what's to love and what's to work on

Couple romancing

The idea of a soulmate is so fascinating that everybody wants one. And, why not? The mere thought of having that special someone with whom you share a feeling of deep and natural affinity is so beautiful and heart-warming that it really makes us want such a ‘someone’.

But everyone has different ideas about soulmates. Some people believe that each of us has a soulmate, who we’re fated to meet—in this lifetime or another. Some others believe that a soulmate is literally the other half of our soul. Still others think that we have many soulmates who enter our lives, play certain important roles, and then exit. Whatever the belief, the broad picture of a soulmate is overly goody-goody, and therefore illusionary.

If you are among those who think that your soulmate is someone who is perfectly compatible with you, then you might be in for a big disappointment because you may never find such a person. True, a soulmate brings you joy, encourages you, and shares your sorrows. But s/he also ticks you off big time.

In my opinion, a true soulmate is the one who reminds you that you’re far from being the “nice, kind, perfect” soul that you think you are. S/he is the one who helps you discover that there is still work you have to do on yourself. In many ways, your soulmate completes you. In other words, s/he is the exact opposite of you—different in as many ways as it is possible to be different. But this difference is what offers you the opportunity to grow—as an individual and as a couple.

Osho explains this beautifully: “If both partners are conscious of the fact that it is a meeting of opposites, that there is no need to make it a conflict, then it is a great opportunity to understand the opposite point of view and absorb it. Then the life of a man and woman together can become a beautiful harmony.”

So, unless you and your partner recognise that being opposites helps both expand your horizons, you will continue to argue and fight with each other, and grow apart. But, if you understand and accept that your partner is someone who helps you get in touch with yourself, and reveals to you your imperfections, your life will be transformed. You will then see your partner as your mirror, who shows you your accurate reflection. And just like you don’t go against the mirror for showing you your own image—you will not be angry with your partner for being your reflector.

So, that’s what a soulmate is in my opinion—a mirror, a reflector who you should be grateful to, for aiding your growth as a person and for helping you feel better.

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Manoj Khatri
Manoj Khatri is a highly experienced wellbeing consultant. He is also a writer-editor and has written on topics ranging from strategic marketing and business management to art, culture and even philosophy. His more than 1250 published stories—articles, interviews, full-length features—have appeared in some of the leading newspapers and magazines of India. A certified cognitive behavioural therapist, he works as a personal counsellor too. He is the author of What a thought!, a critically acclaimed self-improvement book based on powerful ideas of some of the greatest thought leaders. Manoj runs Complete Wellbeing and believes that "peace begins with me".


  1. Being a writer and a poet, I hardly go a day with out running into someone writing or reflecting on the “soul mate.”
    I concur – what good would to be to have someone who just smiled and agreed all the time. Jousting is good for a relationship as long as the point doesn’t draw blood.


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