Sex does funny things to us. When we feel aroused, all our nerve endings tingle, the hair on the back of our neck stands up, some people even get goose bumps. Our heart beats faster, our body temperature suddenly shoots up. We feel hot. Our nether parts feel like they are on fire. And when two bodies that are so on fire touch, and move together, the heat turns into an inferno. That is because intimacy and sex creates energy, lots of it. In fact, sex is energy.
"Man represents positive and woman the negative, counterparts of a single phenomenon. Masculine and feminine energies are equal and opposite forces," says Diana Richardson in her book, The Love Keys. And what happens when a positive node meets the negative? Electricity happens. Current flows.
So when we move with each other, touch each other, we exchange current— energy.
"The thrills and pleasures of sex and love were caused by the transmission and reception of currents of "animal magnetism," or "vital electricity," which could be conveyed by contact or passes from one human body to another," says American individualist anarchist J William Lloyd in his book, The Karezza Method.
The concept of sex as energy is not new. Eastern traditions of Taoism and Tantra that date back several thousand years are based on it. They prescribe sexual techniques for harnessing sexual energy for intimacy, health and longevity. In fact, Tantra means 'transformation of energy'. The tantric teachings are based on the circulation and merging of vital energy [chi or prana] between two people. "In the grand scheme of our energetic anatomy, our electromagnetic energy plays a role as well. During intimate contact, the two are transferred and circulated simultaneously," writes Dr William Collinge in Subtle Energy: Awakening to the Unseen Forces in Our Lives. "Both kissing and sexual intercourse involve contact of moist mucous membranes, and moisture facilitates particularly strong and efficient electrical conductivity," he says.
We have all experienced it. We remember our first kiss. Don't we? That is because when we kiss a person we are attracted to for the first time, we feel a high-voltage jolt. A jolt that passes through our entire body, nerve endings included.
Building the charge
Experiments conducted by American psychiatrist and psychologist, Rudolf von Urban revealed that there is a bio-energetic potential difference between sexually charged males and females which requires about half an hour to be exchanged and reach an equilibrium.
In one of Urban's experiment, a medical doctor and his young Arabian bride caressed each other naked for about an hour without sexual contact in a dark room. The doctor later reported that he saw the body of his wife surrounded by a greenish-blue hazy light. Moving his palm close to her breast a visible and audible electric spark jumped from the breast to the palm. Scientist Baron Karl von Reichenbach too had previously described a similar phenomenon. Sadly, scientists didn't take him seriously.
So for sex to be electric, we need to slowly build the current. And love not lust, is the ingredient that does it. When we touch each other with love, the current resonates not just in the skin, but deep inside the heart.
Science defines magnet as an object that is surrounded by a magnetic field and has the property, either natural or induced to attract.
We have a magnetic field around us, and the ability to attract. That means we are magnets. And like magnets, we too we have both negative and positive nodes within us.
There is a man in every woman and a woman in every man. Tantra encourages accepting that, for a truly wholesome sexual experience. "You are half your mother and half your father and they both co-exist within you. When they meet within, ecstasy happens," says Osho.
So when a man joins a woman in sexual union, their individual bio-energies create an ecstatic sexual experience through the interplay of opposite polarities. In The Karezza Method, a book about harnessing our sexual energy for health and prolonged pleasure, J William Lloyd, gives interesting pointers. "Cultivate the art of magnetic touch," he says.
Think of yourself as an electric battery capable of transmitting an electric current. Touch each other in a way that transmits a vivid electric current and thrills the partner.
The key is to focus on the way we touch—with love. If we learn to focus our sexual energies on touching, there can be sparks flying out when we make love, literally. It has happened.
In another of Von Urban's experiment, a couple caressed for an hour and then had orgasmic intercourse for less than 27 minutes, sparks started and still moved between them till the end. For sparks to happen the pair caressed for a full 60 minutes. Remember what Von Urban had said? 'The bio-energetic potential difference requires about half an hour to be exchanged and reach equilibrium". Lesson: touch with love, don't rush.
Body to body
Logic dictates that when two fully charged bars collide, they will blast. But we don't want our circuits to short. We want the current to flow and light us up. So, for the glow, go slow. Besides we are actually harming ourselves when we rush through intercourse.
According to Urban, a short intercourse eliminated the tension in the sexual organs but increased tension in the rest of their bodies.
Also, the electric charge is distributed across the body, not just the genitals, which is good. Because that means we can experience pleasure all over.
We must open our minds to that thought. For instance, our eyes can play a very big role in our energy exchange. "A gaze that stays overtime awakens primal, slightly disturbing feelings. It induces the same "fight or flight" chemicals that race through our veins when we feel infatuation— a tingling sensation," writes Leil Lowndes, internationally recognised communications expert and in her book, How to make anyone fall in love with you.
Also, use the feet. They are the most erogenous part of the body. Through the feet we can indirectly stimulate: nipples, breasts, ovaries, penis, and vagina. Our whole body is a magnet. Use it.
Ecstasy through control
For most of us, energetic sex means making love like animals and then collapsing exhausted. That's not what Eastern traditions believe.
Both Tantra and Taoism believe that sex relates to our vital energy. When we make love, not only are our bio-magnetic energies at play, but also our vital energies—the energy that runs through our entire being. Tantra believes that ejaculation wastes energy and robs the woman of her potential multiple orgasms.
Toaism believes that when a man ejaculates, he depletes his vital energy because his sperms carry jing or the sexual essence and life force. Now you know why men fall asleep afterwards? In fact, some immediately drop and start to snore.
The aim of Tantric and Toaist sexual practices is to energise us and not exhaust us. Sex should bring us alive, charge us in ways where we can enjoy not just the experience, but life as well.
In the modern world, Wilhelm Reich was the first scientist to describe the nature and purpose of orgasm as a discharge of excess bio-energy with the additional liberation of feeling energy [in the mid-1930s]. He also recognised the negative consequences of blocked sexual energies.
The Karezza Method too advocates non-seminal intercourse in which men have to hold back just before ejaculation. It increases pleasure, stamina, vitality and longevity.
It is not surprising for practitioners of Tao, Tantra or Karezza to have intercourses sometimes lasting an hour. Not foreplay, but intercourse. Because they take it slow. Men are encouraged to hold back, women to let go. It's done with love. Lovemaking is a joint effort, a merging of two energies. When we make love this way, all chakras open up and all barriers break. The result: an energetic union of bodies and inseparable fusion of minds.
Super sex tips
Sex is not instant noodles. For sex to be really electric and energising, it needs to be approached as an art. Such sex will help you feel complete together. Some Tantric techniques...
- Don't rush. Spend at least half an hour in foreplay, touching each other, enjoying the sensations.
- Hold back [This one's for men]. Try not to ejaculate every time. It results in a tremendous turn-around in the vital energy.
- Make lovemaking an experience not a chore. Stop focussing on pleasing each other or your performance. Focus on how it feels.
- Breathe together. Take longer filling breaths. Try and circulate your energy together, as one energetic whole.
- Gently massage or kiss the acupressure point at the back of the knee, just between the ligaments for stimulation when you are making love.
- Give your love a big O by placing pressure along the tendons of the shoulder, just beside the neck. As your partner reaches climax, gently massage the shoulders to stimulate a longer and more satisfying orgasm.
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