Do you dress to kill [your chances]?

In our desperate attempts to look different, we often end up looking…desperate

Man wearing hat and bow with solourful tattoo on arms

Does anyone else look at the world around them and think, what has happened to plain and simple common sense?

I travelled a bit this week and had a few hours in Chicago O’Hare where I did some people watching. A woman with baby blue hair sat slumped in the seating area waiting for her plane. I thought, does she think that hair colour is attractive? She looked like a Smurf. I could understand this choice if she were a teen because teens make tons of bad decisions, but this woman was at least 60 years old. I wanted to tell her, if she waited a few years, her hair would turn blue on its own, but of course I didn’t. I was too busy astounded by a handsome young man walking toward me.

He was a goodlooking fellow, neat, clean—he looked smart in a green pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Then as he passed by. I got a look at his backside. His legs and arms were completely tattooed all the way down.  I don’t even know what the tattoo was supposed to be. It just looked like someone had taken a magic marker and scribbled all up and down the back of his limbs while he slept face down on the couch. Walking toward me his appearance said, I’m a great guy, I love my grandmother, and I play basketball with the guys on Saturday afternoon.  However, walking away it said, hold on to your purse lady, I’m a bad ass and you’re my target.

The hole truth

The look that absolutely makes me question the number of brain cells in some people is the gigantic hole they have in their earlobes. What is that? Is that where they hang a plant? Is it a place where they hook their keys at night? Does their mom run a scarf through there in case it gets cold later in the day? I don’t know, I really don’t!

Even more concerning are the people who put that type of hole in their chins just below the lip line. You can see the bottoms of their teeth and their gums. What would ever possess anyone to do that to their face? I’m just curious. How do you drink water from a bottle with that sort of thing on your chin?

The look that absolutely makes me question the number of brain cells in some people is the gigantic hole they have in their earlobes

Piercing looks

Recently I was at a business meeting and a young woman who worked for a bank stood up to tell us about what the bank offered. Honestly, I couldn’t look at her because she had a safety pin hooked through the tip of her nose. Her co-worker was a thirty-something man who had that business-upfront-and-party-in-the-back hairdo. I mean come on! Am I going to give you people my money?

A relatively nice looking woman was wearing a very revealing sundress the other day. It wouldn’t have been so bad, but she had a horribly hacked up boob job and the sundress hid nothing. It looked bad, but it was like a car wreck you couldn’t look away from. She weighed about 80 pounds and her boobs about 25 each. I kept expecting her to fall over.

So different and yet same

In a world where everyone is working so hard to look different, to have their own identity, to express themselves, they all look the same to me. Stupid.

As I sat disgusted with the way people have defaced their faces and mangled their bodies, a man about 5’9″ walked by. He was dressed in a chocolate brown suit and had a cream coloured shirt ironed to a crisp. His tie was a beautiful brown and blue paisley and was tied in a perfect windsor knot. His shoes were shined and his hair was cut with precision. I’m sure he smelled delicious. This is the man who really stood out. He was the one who was different. He got my full attention. If I were looking to hire anyone, he would have gotten the job. This man was dressed for success; the rest of them, I think, may have been carnival workers… not that there’s anything wrong with that.

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To be honest, the people I saw may have very well been wonderful, kind, smart people. We are judged, sadly, by our appearance. First impressions actually do mean the difference between getting a job or not, between connecting with someone or not. We are human beings and we look at people and assume certain things about them based on what they look like and how they dress. I’m not saying that it’s right to do that, I’m just saying that is what happens.

In short, if you want me to shop at your shop, bank at your bank, support your cause or hire you to renovate my house, take the damn safety pin out of your nose.

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