Q: At times, I am unable to control my anger. Are there any tips you can provide that could help me manage it?
A: Here are a few general tips given the world over to vent your anger. One can also find different ways of doing it according to individual preference and comfort:
- Count one to ten…or to a 50 or then a 100 if need be! You will calm down by then and if the matter is fairly insignificant, like an argument with a stranger on the road, the need for an outburst will diminish.
- Do something that is physically exerting: We don’t have punching bags ready in the house, but punching your kids for something that happened in your office is not a good option either. Start doing something that will be physically exerting. A friend of mine chops vegetables vigorously; sometimes she peals fruits. Her family usually gets to eat mixed vegetables, some yummy raita or a generous quantity of fruit salad after she is upset.
- Find something that is either distracting or calming: Do anything that you like doing. I, for instance, surf the Internet for either jokes or songs or poetry when annoyed. The subject depends on what has upset me. You get jokes and poems for all occasions. By the time I’m through, my anger has subsided if not gone.
- Creative expressions: A lot of people prefer to write, paint or, in some way, express their hurt or anger creatively. It can be very cathartic.
- Use ‘I’ statements instead of ‘You’ statements: It helps, especially when it comes to anger in relationships. But if you are angry with God over something or with the world in general for racism, perversities, lack of honesty, environmental pollution, bad political leadership then you simply have to find what suits you better.