Why Your Self-Worth Was Never in Doubt

Trigger Warning: This post contains content about suicide

Recently, the issue of self-worth came up in a conversation with a friend. Her daughter — a young adult — was devastated because a friend had taken her own life. I didn’t dig deeper into the reason the friend was driven to take such a drastic step, but I found myself wondering: What makes someone believe their life isn’t worth living? How do we end up questioning our own worth so deeply?

I, too, remember being confused as a teenager, wondering if I was good enough. While “ending it all” never crossed my mind, I did worry about whether I had it in me to be successful. I would relentlessly compare myself with my friends, classmates, and even celebrity achievers that the mainstream media would glorify, and then feel like I was always falling short. And I wasn’t alone. Most in my peer group had doubts about their worth. Tying our self-worth to our achievements was the norm and we had all bought into the belief that we had to prove ourselves to be worthy of this life. That was the message that was hammered into us—from well-meaning adults, from the world around us, and from a culture that equated worth with success.

The impact of that conditioning wasn’t small. We learned, wrongly of course, that striving was the key to worthiness — that what we do, how much we achieve, and how others see us determine our value. Thus, pleasing the world became a lifelong struggle.

It Has Only Gotten Worse

It’s true that we had it tough growing up but today’s young adults are arguably worse off than we were. They’re not just trying to meet the expectations of parents or teachers; they’re measuring themselves against impossible social media standards. Platforms like Instagram encourage people to showcase their best selves while hiding their struggles, creating a warped sense of what’s makes one worthy. No wonder most of them don’t like themselves as they are, and are trying hard to become what they are not!

What’s worse, even adults have fallen into this algorithm-driven rabbit hole of social media, making youngsters of today believe that this is what life is about. Is it any surprise then that these impressionable souls feel so lost?

Here’s what I would like to tell all those who are jostling with doubts about their life and their self-worth— whether young or old.

Ideas of Worthiness Are Arbitrary

The world tells us that our worth depends on things like our wealth, our social status, our appearance, or whether we’re seen as successful in love or life. But these ideas of worthiness are arbitrary — products of cultural narratives and shifting societal norms.

And what happens when we falter on any of these measures? When our careers hit a rough patch, when relationships don’t work out, when age or illness changes our bodies? We start to doubt our worth.

Here’s what I’ve come to realize—actually, what I had to unlearn: our worth isn’t tied to any of these factors. It’s not something we achieve — it’s something we are born with. And because it’s intrinsic, nothing and no one can take it away.

Try this simple exercise : whenever you start doubting your worth, pause and ask yourself — Did I create myself? Did I choose to be born? These questions will instantly make you see the folly of trying to assess your self-worth.

You Are Here, Therefore You Are Worthy

The moment you were born, you were worthy. You didn’t need to earn love, care, or the right to exist. As a baby, your very being was enough. That truth doesn’t change as you grow older — it only gets buried under societal expectations that tell you that your worth must be earned.

Yet, if you think about it you will see clearly that since you did not choose to be born, why should you be the one deciding whether you’re worthy enough to exist?

The fact that you’re here — alive, and conscious — means that something greater than you thought you were worthy of being. Whether you call it nature, the Universe, God, the cosmos or even random chance, it chose for you to exist. And that makes you perfect as you are. Isn’t your worth a given, then?

In my view, to doubt your worth is to question the very existence of life itself. Regardless of what you do, how you look, or what other people think about you, you are worthy — because you exist.

The Liberation of Not Having to “Earn” Self-Worth

Once you see your worth as inherent, you are free — free from the pressure to prove yourself.

Does that mean you stop growing or setting goals? Quite the opposite! You are now free to pursue your goals freely and do so from a place of quiet self-confidence, not from a fear of being less in any way. When you stop questioning whether you’re enough, life becomes a lot lighter. You don’t chase approval or seek validation anymore. You are no longer afraid of failure. And, you don’t measure your life against someone else’s highlight reel. You just live, knowing that nothing can add to or take away from your worth.

Related article » The High Cost of Beating Yourself Up Habitually

Summing Up: Your Birth Has Ensured Your Worth

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment,” said Ralph Waldo Emerson. So just be yourself and forget about trying to be worthy — because you already are! Always have been and always will be.