Queer coincidences

Have you noticed how things happen to us when we least expect them?

WonderingAll traffic signals choose to stay an obstinate red, on the very day you are running terribly late.

The phone chooses to ring the moment you step into the shower. It rings.and rings.and continues ringing. Till you are forced to step out mid-shower to reach for it, almost maiming yourself or breaking body parts along the way, and just as you manage to reach it, is when it stops ringing.

Characters in television soaps, especially the women, never seem to age. Irrespective of the number of generation leaps the soap may have taken.

Just when you’ve saved up, ruminated forever, and finally made that expensive purchase, the item goes on sale.

Your hair, that till recently resembled a golliwog-having-a-terrible-hair-day, looks absolutely perfect on the day you go to the only hairdresser who can salvage it and make you look human again. And who, incidentally, charges more than what an island would cost.

People who walk in late for a movie are always seated in the row before you.

When you look forward to sipping your much-needed mug of piping hot coffee/tea, there’s a phone call or someone stops by for a chat or you get called-away, only to return to your much-longed-for-beverage when it’s stone-cold and utterly unpalatable.

You throw away your fat clothes, and immediately gain weight.

You throw away your, I’ll-never-lose-enough-weight-to-fit-back-into-this-again, thin clothes and you lose weight.

The one time you feel brave enough to hold a baby and cuddle it, it either shrieks like you have harmed it or it pees on you.

The queue in which you are waiting seems to move at a snails pace. Of course, the moment you switch queues, your previous queue starts moving fast enough to make you dizzy, while you are still waiting.

How celebrities, who are joined at the hip, still continue spouting the cliche “We are just good friends”, even though no one believes them anymore.

The one day that you step out of the house in your shabbiest best [old and faded clothes, hair carelessly scrunched up, worn out flip flops] to run a quick errand, you bump into your worst enemy [who is, but of course, dressed to kill] and boy, do they look glad to have met you!

The doorbell will ring just when you are on an important phone call or trying out a recipe that needs all your attention.

Women-centric television soaps are always centred around men.

Infuriating it is, when people brazenly zip into the parking place you’ve been patiently waiting for the last 15 minutes.

Whenever there is a crucial dialogue on screen, someone next to you coughs, sneezes or a baby wails.

You cringe in mortification when the person whom you’ve ratted on or bad-mouthed about says something really nice about you, shaming you into feeling really, really small.

The day you feel you look your worst, is when you get the most compliments.

Interesting songs play back to back on the car radio when you are just 5 minutes away from home.

It almost makes you cry when you get home to you find out that someone’s polished off the last portion of the dessert that you sneakily saved up for yourself. You had fantasized all day about getting home and savouring it deliciously, bit by bit.

Someone will surely reveal the end of the thriller book/movie that you have been longing to read/see.

When you’ve thrown away something that you’ve been hoarding up forever, you’ll need it the very next day.urgently

You think of something unpleasant and it happens right away. Of course, you think of something pleasant and it takes its own sweet time to fructify.

When you lie about having a headache or the flu, it really happens to you.

When you are in a quirky mood and answer the phone in a silly voice, it is always someone completely unexpected on the other end.

How articles like this one remind you of all the things that you hate to be reminded.

Mayuri Sharrma
Mayuri Sharrma is a Tarot Card Reader, Columnist and Freelance Writer. Because she is already aware of what the future holds, she enjoys unwrapping the present.


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