Ever noticed how some people make you feel calm, secure and inspired in their presence and also evoke a feeling of well-being in you? Their good vibes impact you so much that you find yourself thinking and talking about them quite often. Do you ever wonder what it is that makes them attractive to others? Surely a pointed nose, lustrous eyes and a well built body cannot keep you hooked for long, it’s got to be something more than that.
If you look deeper you’ll realise that it is a person’s inner beauty that makes him/her stand apart from others. It hasn’t got anything to do with conventional looks, but with the glow that seems to emanate right from a person’s core. This inner beauty, which illuminates everyone around can be groomed and we can all become truly beautiful individuals by practising certain things.
Tune into your sensitivity
Sensitivity is partly inherent, but all of us can use the little that we have to our benefit. While interacting with people, become aware of their beliefs before making a point. For instance, you may find movies a total waste of time while the person you are conversing with may be a big movie buff. So, before you call a spade a spade, think twice. You may put off the person with you by your insensitivity. In fact, it’s best to make neutral statements when conversing with people you don’t know well. There may be times when you require gauging the moods of those around you before you say something to them.
Empathy is the ability to understand another’s perspective and respond to his/her distress. Instead of discussing how horrible your day has been, ask others about theirs. Give them a little attention and let them pour their hearts to you. This will assist you in understanding them better and help them brighten up. Before getting judgmental about their reactions, try to get into their shoes and think like them. Whatever you do, don’t make a comment without actually getting to the core of the matter.
Develop an attitude of gratitude
Being thankful for what you have can turn a situation around. As Melodie Beattie has said, “Gratitude turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, and confusion into clarity… It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events.”
There are scores of people who are of great help to us and waiting to be thanked: your daughter’s teacher for taking care of her in school, your mother-in-law for looking after her while you are away, or even your neighbour for collecting your courier in your absence.
“Entitle every person one mistake every day. This will reduce a lot of your emotional burden caused from piling up people’s faults in your minds and also take away a lot of stress from work and relationships,” says Lt Col Rajesh. A good rule to follow before flaring up over something gone wrong would be to think about the implications of the same at a macro level. Your husband forgot to pick up veggies on his way back from office. Is it worth fighting over it? Why not turn it into an opportunity to have a ready-to-eat meal instead? It doesn’t matter whether the person you forgive deserves it or not, forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.
Be generous with compliments
A sincere compliment not only makes one happy, but also boosts the recipient’s self-confidence. Praise and healthy evaluations are guaranteed to cause pleasure and bring out positive reactions from people. On the contrary, negative remarks and uncalled for teasing can be extremely derogatory and can ruin a person’s self-confidence.
Remember the last time your friend complimented you for your long, shiny hair? It gave you the conviction to carry an open mane on several occasions. Do the same for others keeping in mind that every human being craves for appreciation.
We all know people who have a habit of talking about things in a very cursory manner and say things without giving them much thought.
There are some who have a habit of contradicting their own statements every other day. What holds true for them today may be beyond their imagination tomorrow. Though such talk may not mean much to them, it leaves a poor impression of their integrity on others and questions their authenticity and reliability. Honest people who keep to their word are always trusted and respected.
Ralph Waldo Emerson has said, “Without a rich heart, wealth is an ugly beggar.” What one really needs is to be high-minded about little things. Tip a waiter generously. Pay a little extra to a coolie or a rickshaw puller. It will become easy if you think of them as people who are not as blessed financially as you are, and that parting with a little money will not make you poorer but definitely make a difference in their lives.
There are ample reasons and ways to be compassionate. Helping an old man cross a road instead of passing him by, carrying your neighbour’s shopping bags home, feeding a dog instead of kicking it away, reading the newspaper to your old grandfather, lending an ear to your distraught friend, are all activities which do not demand much of your time or effort, but fantastically affect the lives you touch.
All of us envy positive thinkers because that is one quality in people which makes them rise above everything in life and be happy. With little effort, we can also become positive thinkers. The trick is to look for positive answers in all actions. Whether it’s a book you read or a movie you watch, there’s something to learn everywhere. A match won, a job lost and a broken relationship can all be turned into opportunities to learn life’s lessons.
If you care for spiritual strength, strive to be kind, positive and compassionate. Spend time with people who seek these characteristics in others. Attitudes can be contagious, so be in the company of those who possess a good share of your healthy ideals and you are sure to find happiness and earn respect from others.