All problems relating to sex arise due to one basic blunder committed by humanity down the ages — treating sex as a moral issue. Ancient Indians never looked upon it as an ethical value though; for them, it was a natural instinct, needed for procreation as well as recreation. We cannot forget that the great sexologist Vyatsayana was born in India and that Tantra, the most mature way of dealing with sex, is the greatest gift of India to the world.
Procreation vs Recreation
The procreation vs recreation debate is ancient. Sex for procreation came under social and religious domain and there were rituals built around it by priests. The procreative aspect of sex was accepted so naturally that when the husband died childless, his elder brother or a trusted sage was asked to have intercourse with the woman and produce children. Manusmruti called this process Niyoga. This act was a religious ritual and the couple was not supposed to enjoy it! They used to apply oil on their bodies so that they remain detached during the act.
However, the human being is not only a body; he/she also has emotions and intelligence. So his higher sensibilities motivated him to seek pleasure out of sex. The Indian name for sex is Kama which is expansive and all-inclusive. Kama means desire, the lust for life. Lust is yet again a condemned word; in fact, all that allows people to enjoy the pleasures of the flesh and the senses is condemned by moral custodians because they are afraid that people will get lost in sensuous delights. Kama is the libido, the life energy, not necessarily sexual. All creativity is motivated by Kama, it is the desire to create as well as procreate.
Sex as a Natural Instinct
If we want sex to be accepted as a natural instinct, we have to drop the moral firewall built around it. In this nuclear age, sex can be understood as pure energy because we have developed scientific understanding. Once we acknowledge that sex is the bio energy, we can make efforts to transform it. Just as water when boiled becomes vapour, and the vapour travels upwards and becomes clouds, sexual energy can be transformed into higher states. The higher forms of sex energy are love, compassion and enlightened consciousness.
Tantra’s greatest contribution to humanity is that it has created many devices to sublimate the sexual energy and turn it into an experience of higher consciousness.
The Disaster of Repressed Sexuality
Osho is the first master who saw the disaster of repressed sexuality. And the disaster is that human sex has become cerebral. The distorted and perverted humanity of today is the end result of repression. No animal rapes its females like man does. No animal needs artificial stimulants like viagra. Have you ever seen any clinic of sexologists for animals or birds? The whole porno literature is a sign of a sick attitude towards sex.
Sex used for reproduction is biological, and sex as recreation belongs to the human world alone because it has arisen out of the human need for love, sensuality, aesthetics, relating, pleasure and ecstasy. This has always been the case. The art of sex developed due to this need. Men always had two kinds of mates: the housewife and the mistress. The roles of these women were clearly marked. We can divide them into procreation and recreation. Those women who could procreate were usually not so good at recreating their husbands because their total focus was on rearing children. Their bodies changed after the childbirth.
Sex as recreation is a special art, and women were trained to master it. The word is self-explanatory: re-creation: creating again. Recreation is not entertainment, which is the conventional meaning of the word. The flowering of physical sex becomes love which is re-creative. When love is fulfilled, its fragrance is creativity. It is observed that a sexually fulfilled person becomes extremely creative.
Pleasure and Pain Are a Package Deal
If people only seek pleasure out of sex, they are bound to be frustrated sooner or later. Because every pleasure has its opposite: the pain. Sex can really recreate and rejuvenate people, if experienced with consciousness.
Now, women can participate in sex without fear, as contraceptives have dissociated intercourse with pregnancy. Modern women can enjoy the intricacies of lovemaking and transmit their joy to their partners. But the question is: are there sensitive, sexually-trained men who are expert partners of the evolved women?
Normally, girls and boys are conditioned to be husbands and wives, which involves procreative sex. Sex as recreation needs sharpened sensitivity and refined sensuality; it is a skilled job. Just as a trained musician plays on the musical instrument with love and care, a skilled lover has to play on the body of his beloved sensitively, and vice versa.
Here, Osho will be immensely helpful. If you allow me to say so, he alone can redeem humanity from sexual inhibitions. He has brought a new dimension to sexuality. His basic contention is: sex is neither moral, nor immoral, it is amoral. It is a wild, boundless, existential energy. Drop your inhibitions and go natural. Clean your mind of all the perverted ideas about sexuality.
Tips from OSHO
Some Osho tips may help clean the attitude about sex.
- Every man and woman should meditate before getting into the intercourse — not the old fashioned repressive meditation but the dynamic, cathartic meditation created by Osho.
- Do not use sex for stress release; this is neither procreative nor recreative. It is self- destructive.
- Do not use your partner as a means for your pleasure. People unconsciously use each other, which is an insult to the dignity of the other. Such a relationship can never be fulfilling.
- Recreative sex is like classical music. It develops slowly and takes long to warm up. Let your attention be on the process and not on the goal. Stay with the beginning, don’t look for the end otherwise you will be embarrassed by premature ejaculation.
- Love and respect your own body. Unless you love and respect your own body, you cannot love the other person’s body.
- Spend plenty of time in the foreplay as well as the afterplay. In fact, the afterplay is indicative of the success of your love-making.
- If you want it to last longer, watch your breathing from the start. The longer the breaths, the deeper will be your experience. It will be orgasmic and will give you a glimpse of meditation.
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