There is a Baul song:
[Bauls are poets and singers from Bengal for whom love is a spiritual practice.]
The act of loving
is not an ideal dream.
from the grilling of lust –
like feeling death,
being wholly alive.
The clay-beetle buried
in the earth lives on clay,
nestling in it.
Lovers who know
how love can overcome lust
— an uphill walk,
even for a man of strength.
Man is unconscious. You go on doing things, not knowing why. You go on doing things you could not do if you were even a little conscious.
What we are doing with our life is just sleeping through it. Consciousness has to be evolved. The more consciousness you have, the more energy starts flowing upwards on its own accord. Consciousness is the key, the master key. Lust becomes love through consciousness, so love cannot be an unconscious thing.
When Bauls say that love is the door, they don’t mean the love that you call love. Your love is as unconscious as anything else. It is unconscious, that’s why we use the expression “falling in love”. Yes, it is a “falling in”. The love Bauls are talking about is a “rising in love”, not falling in love. It is not a fall, it is a rise. So don’t misunderstand that your love is what Bauls are talking about. Your love is just a name for lust – a good name, a beautiful, nice name. And beware of nice words because they can be very deceptive. If you label lust as love, you will be deceived by your own labelling.
Lust is when you are unconscious. You see a woman or a man and you fall in love, and you don’t know why; sometimes even in spite of yourself.
People come and say to me, “What can we do? We are helpless; love has happened.” This love is not the love of the Bauls; this is lust. Unconscious love is lust. Then it flows downwards. Then it moves through the sex centre into the world again. Upwards lust is love, but then it is conscious.
Consciousness is the staircase: step by step you become more and more conscious. Whatsoever you do, you do it with full consciousness — even walking, eating, going to bed, talking, listening – small things of life, but you do them with consciousness. And when you are in love, you are in love with full consciousness. It is not against yourself. It is not that you are possessed; it is not that you are a victim, it is not that you are being pulled by somebody like a magnet. No, you are moving on your own.
Love is very cool. It has the coolness of awareness. Your love is very hot; it has the fever of unconsciousness.
A technique to transform lust
Whenever you feel sex desire arising, there are three possibilities: one, indulge in it – ordinary, everybody is doing that; second: repress it, force it down so it goes beyond your consciousness into the darkness of the unconscious, and the third is when the sex desire arises, close your eyes. It is a very valuable moment: desire arising is energy arising. It is like the sun rising in the morning.
One small technique will be of tremendous help.
- Close your eyes; this is the moment to be meditative. Move downwards to the sex centre where you are feeling the thrill, the vibration. Move there and just be a silent onlooker. Witness it, don’t condemn it. The moment you condemn, you have gone far away from it.
- And don’t enjoy it, because the moment you enjoy, you are unconscious.
- Just be alert, watchful, like a lamp burning in a dark night. You just take your consciousness there, unflickering, unwavering. You see what is happening at the sex centre, what is this energy.
- Don’t call it names because all words have become contaminated. Even if you say it is sex, immediately you have started condemning it. The very word has become condemnatory. Or, if you belong to the new generation, then the very word has become something sacred. But the word is always loaded with emotion. Any word which is loaded with emotion becomes a barrier on the path of awareness.
- Just watch the fact that an energy is arising near the sex centre and you will feel a totally new quality of energy. Watching it, you will see it is rising upwards. It is finding a path inside you. And the moment it starts rising upwards, you will feel a coolness falling on you, a silence surrounding you, a grace, a beatitude, a benediction, a blessing all around you. It is no longer like a painful thorn. It no longer hurts; it is very soothing like a balm. And the more you remain aware, the higher it will go. It can come up to the heart, which is not very difficult.
If you remain alert, you will see it has come to the heart. When it comes to the heart, you will know for the first time what love is.
If love has attachment in it, it is lust. If love has no attachment in it, only then is it not lust. When you are in lust you are not really thinking of the other, you are simply using the other for your own ends. And of course, attachment is bound to be there, because you would like to possess him/her forever. Because tomorrow also you may need, the day after tomorrow also you may need.
Love is a gift. You give; you need not be worried about whether tomorrow he/she will be there to receive or not. Because a lover can give to the trees, to the rocks. A lover can give to the emptiness of the sky. A lover can simply flower and send his fragrance to the winds, even if nobody is there.