The bio-energetic difference between man and woman is that the woman’s whole body is erotic and sensuous, whereas man’s sexuality is only local. For a woman each and every cell warms up to touch. She would love to be caressed all over, but her shyness and social conditioning doesn’t often allow her to express her deeper feelings.
It is a less known fact that women love to be touched; and, relationships will be much juicier if men take some time to caress and stroke their partners without sex on their minds.
Osho has spoken in great detail about women’s orgasm and her needs.
Couples often asked him about their relationship problems, and he would come up with some novel insights. This helped them to see a different angle.
Message in a massage
As Osho once guided a man, “If you love and feel compassion for the other person, and feel the ultimate value of her; if you don’t treat her as if she is a mechanism to be put right, but an energy of tremendous value; if you are grateful that she trusts you and allows you to play with her energy — by and by, you will feel as if you are playing on an organ. The whole body becomes the keys of the organ and you can feel that a harmony is created inside the body. Not only will the person be helped, but you also.”
“Massage is needed in the world because love has disappeared. The very touch of lovers was enough at one time. A mother touched the child, played with his body, and it was massage. The husband played with the body of his woman, and it was massage; it was enough, more than enough. It was deep relaxation and part of love.”
“But, this has disappeared from the world. By and by, we have forgotten where to touch, how to touch, how deep to touch. In fact, touch is one of the most forgotten languages. We have become almost awkward in touching, because the very word has been corrupted by so-called religious people. They have given it a sexual colour. The word has become sexual and people have become afraid. Everybody is on guard, not to be touched unless s/he allows it.”
Touch is sublime
Because of our repressed sexuality, touch has become synonymous with sex. We cannot imagine a man touching a female body without any sexual motive. However, the interesting fact about a loving touch is that one who touches is equally nourished by the touch as the one who is being touched. This is a mystery of the spiritual world. The more you give, the more you get filled with fresh energy. Because, the energy comes from an inexhaustible source!
The art of touch flows with the total energy of the other. And, if the man will feel the fluidity of the body and the energy creating a new pattern of harmony, he will also feel a delight that he has never felt before. In other words, the giver and the receiver create an electric circle of energy, like yin and yang, merged into each other in an intimate embrace.
Scientists have found that stroking stimulates the brain which secretes a chemical called oxytocin. This slows the heart rate down. In stroking, women produce 20 per cent more oxytocin than normal. It is a calming hormone which produces effects, such as stimulating milk release during breastfeeding. Men and women both release it during orgasm
Touch messages are transmitted to our brain through a network of over 100 billion neurons. Once the brain receives the touch message, it has powerful effects. It stimulates the production of chemicals that provide physical good feelings, as well as good emotions by combining with certain hormones and enzymes in the blood.
Scientists have discovered that caressing a woman non-sexually can lower her blood pressure as much as prescription drugs. Regular stroking, researchers believe, can be viewed as an important part of a healthy lifestyle. The finding, however, holds good for women. As for men, stroking has no perceptible effect on their blood pressure
It has been found that animal lovers live a longer and healthier life because they caress their pets. This reduces their stress and blood pressure. It is a kind of a tonic for both the giver and the receiver. For the receiver, it is, of course, powerfully invigorating.
It is recommended that a man should stroke and caress his woman at least three times a day – may be, while listening to music, watching TV, or just talking. This will make a great difference and bring harmony to their relationship.
The Art of Touching
Physical contact is a prerequisite both for a healthy individual, and for a fulfilling, mature, loving relationship with a partner. Our bodies require touch: it relieves stress; it makes us happier and healthier. In our fast-paced lives, however, we often forget the importance of giving and receiving affection through physical touch. We deprive ourselves of this very basic need. We also deprive our loved ones. It is difficult to explain the importance of touch in any of your loving relationships. We strive to diet, to quit smoking, to drink in moderation, and to exercise, in order to promote a healthy body. In fact, touching is the most vital gift that you can give and receive.
Touching promotes a healthy mind, body, and soul. The art of touching encompasses non-sexual as well as sexual touch. It’s equally important, whether you are single or in a relationship, to get your daily dose of touching. Demonstrating physical closeness with family and friends is one way to elevate your mood, allowing you to feel loved and fulfilled, while giving love to others. Try babysitting your niece or nephew, or may be a friend’s child. Young children love holding hands and being hugged or cuddled. This type of touching not only makes them healthier, but also does wonders for you. Also, going for a massage, a manicure, a pedicure, or even a haircut can provide the touching stimulation that our skin needs.
If you are in a relationship, both sexual and non-sexual touch are important. During the euphoric stage of a relationship, sexual touch predominates. You can’t keep your hands off of each other. In the beginning, sex is a very important part of your relationship with the other person. When mature love begins, non-sexual touch becomes more important, as touch takes on an additional meaning. While sexual touch can communicate sexual feelings, non-sexual touch can simply communicate your love, care, and affection for one another.