Being there for your partner

How to give support and receive it from your loved ones, when it matters the most


Your ability to give your partner an emotional boost when s/he is feeling bad, works better than an anti-depressant.

When life is kicking sand in one’s face, it’s natural to turn to the person that one loves the most. If that person can really be there with emotional support and kind words of encouragement, it makes a big difference to how one feels. It’s almost too simple.

If you have difficulty giving that support or accepting it, you need to look at your state of mind and make a few adjustments.

Perhaps you are projecting your feelings of distrust of the world or your angst about those unjust criticisms from your boss, but that isn’t going to help you. What will help is giving and receiving positive input from those closest to you.

We all push others away from time to time; it’s human. But it’s also destructive and will erode any energy you may have left after a tough day. Do an honest evaluation of your ability [or inability] to take in the positive.

Examine how you expel your negative emotions. Even if you only slightly use emotions as a weapon, it’s a great way to start a war, so check yourself out.

The calm that exudes through your mind and body when someone is there to make it all better, will ease your pain. And when you feel better, you can think more clearly about how to best deal with the situation.

Once you have a good game plan, not only will your discomfort be ameliorated; your ability to deal with whatever is stressing you out will increase.

The world isn’t fair, and there are always going to be times when we all need a cheerleader [pom-poms are optional].

Being there for a loved one is a gift that you are giving to the person who isn’t feeling at the top of his or her game, and it is returned in a number of ways. The most obvious is that the mood in the air will be lighter, and this affects both of you.

Saying something like, “I know you’re worried, but we’ll get through this together” or “You’ve always landed on your feet, why should this time be any different?” will give your sweetheart a much-needed boost.

Just being while your loved one sulks is also fine. Remember that we all need to process our grief, no matter where it comes from.

Things in your life have mostly worked out. Reminding each other of this and looking at what you’ve been through while taking stock of where you are now, helps.

Giving an emotional boost to the one you love and being able to do the same for the person is perhaps what this life is all about. And it sure feels great.

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Barton Goldsmith
Dr Barton Goldsmith, PhD, an award-winning and highly sought-after keynote speaker, business consultant and internationally syndicated author, has helped develop creative and balanced leadership in several Fortune 500 companies, educational institutions, and government organisations worldwide. He lives in California, USA.


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