I encourage you to consider these non-traditional suggestions of stress relief that can help to live a more peaceful life.

3 non-traditional ways of stress relief

1. Set boundaries

Attending the event you didn’t want to actually go to, leaving the house for a commitment when you would rather stay home, taking on more responsibilities at work even though you are already overloaded with work, agreeing to something that doesn’t feel aligned with you, spending time with people who drain your energy — basically, saying “yes” when you want to say “NO!” Any of these sound like you?

Humans are wired to want to belong and be a part of a community. Because of this instinct, we often say yes to and do things we don’t want to do for the fear that someone will be angry with us, will not like us, or will stop engaging with us and we will be ‘left out’. Hence, we often end up doing things that cause us to feel more stressed and overwhelmed.

By firmly deciding where you will spend your time and what you will say yes to, you are saving your mental space and your time for things that fill up your cup and bring you joy while also allowing for the down time your body needs. Remember, if stress relief is your goal, boundaries are your friends.

Of course, setting boundaries is not easy work; you will have to work on finding the confidence to say No. Initially you may find it challenging and feel compelled to justify yourself and give reasons for saying No. Those who have a problem with you setting up boundaries are generally those who benefited from you not having them in the first place.

2. Spread kindness

“We do ourselves the most good doing something for others”
— Horrace Mann

Have you ever purchased a gift for someone that you knew they really wanted and then felt such warmth when you watch the expression on their face as they open it? This is the power of doing something nice for others as a means of reducing your own stress.

Small acts of kindness toward people you know as well as complete strangers can go a long way in boosting your mood, which in turn decreases your stress response.

Smiling at someone, holding the door for a stranger, sharing your baked goodies with your team at work, paying it forward by purchasing the coffee for the person behind you, or letting someone go in front of you in queue at the supermarket— these are small acts have big impact on your emotional state. Try random acts of kindness whenever and wherever you find the opportunity and soon you will see that your stress becomes much more manageable.

3. Laugh more

Laughter truly is the best medicine. It is something we undervalue and something we don’t do often enough. When you laugh, there is lots at play on a physiological level—the nervous system loves laughter! Studies have found that laughing stimulates the sympathetic nervous system. Also, when you laugh, you take in more oxygen and your blood get pumping, especially with those big belly laughs.

Can you think of a time you spent laughing over a funny movie, doing something foolish with a friend, or playing with children? After these events your mind feels clearer, and you feel lighter. The physiological and psychological benefits of laughing are plenty; the next time you’re feeling stressed, take 10-minutes to find a video that you know will make you laugh and feel the stress melt away! Or, if you’re having a rough day, just smile at yourself in the mirror, it’s OK even if it’s a fake smile.

The takeaway

“Calmness is the cradle of power,” said American novelist and poet Josiah Gilbert Holland. At the end of the day stress will always be with us, wherever we go, but by making a conscious effort to regularly do things that being stress relief and help you stay calm, you can rest assured that the wellness you strive for is well within your reach.

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As I was maneuvering my way through the busy and chaos-filled roads, my mind began agitating and protesting against the undesirable circumstances that were thrust upon me by the inconsiderate authorities who ran the city. I was simmering inside, blaming the traffic cops, the civic authorities and everyone else who I was convinced were responsible for the mismanagement of the city’s roads. The cynic in me was rejoicing in self-righteous indignation! All through the drama, a part of me was quietly noticing my reactions—and acknowledging a familiar pattern in them.

Traffic as a metaphor for life

Driving in a densely populated city like Mumbai is an emotionally charged phenomenon. The collective emotional charge of scores of commuters often runs very high. Over the years I have come to liken traffic in this city as a metaphor for life itself. The unpredictability, the chaos, the reactions and counter-reactions, the rat race in which everyone is trying to get ahead, with little consideration for fellow commuters—all seem to mimic life. And, just like in life, while driving, we always have a choice to either respond or react.

When I am behind the wheel, my fragile ego often goes into an overdrive. For example, when someone cuts in front of me, I get highly offended—and immediately want to get even with this unworthy being who needs to be taught some lessons in respecting others’ rights. But isn’t this the way I react to people in my life too? Without knowing the whole context, I often make up my mind about others. When I feel offended by someone, I assume the worst about him or her. And in the process, I create unnecessary stress and anxiety for myself.

Becoming mindful of the “other”

Now, what if the gentleman who cut ahead of me was facing an emergency? What if he wanted to get to an important meeting lest he lose his job? What if he was grieving and preoccupied with thoughts of a friend who had recently passed away? Or worse, what if his wife was in a critical condition, and he had to rush to the hospital? Would I still feel so righteous about myself? Would I still want to get even with him? I think I would respond with compassion and concern and silently send him good wishes.

Granted that people are often deliberately sadistic on the road—but here’s what I have learned. Every time I react to others by trying to get even, I fuel their belligerence even more, adding to the already high negative charge on the road, and end up feeling not so great myself. Yet, each time I respond with kindness to those who drive recklessly, I dilute their aggression, introduce a little peace on the road, and maintain my own connection to peace. This is possible when we practice mindfulness while driving.

Practicing mindfulness while driving

I have now come to regard the daily commute as a fantastic opportunity to practise the values of kindness and compassion, tolerance and patience. Of course, it takes time to make these changes—I still tend to get hooked by my ancient pattern of reacting. But at least I am aware of it… and often this awareness restores my connection quickly and strengthens my commitment to being mindful, while driving — and living.

Deliberately practicing mindfulness while driving keeps us from overreacting and helps us stay in touch with our shared humanity. Think of driving like a daily mindfulness classroom, where you can learn to tame your ego and lessen your cynicism. In time, you will find yourself being more mindful both on and off the road, and you will begin to experience reduced stress and greater peace in all aspects of your life. That is the beauty of mindfulness.

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Unfortunately, frontline treatments aren’t always effective in relieving panic attacks. Solutions such as benzodiazepines (known under brand names like Xanax and Valium) may relieve fear in the short term, but they have an extremely high potential for addiction, a notoriously difficult withdrawal and tend to treat the symptom but not the underlying cause.

Having panic attacks on a regular basis can have a severe impact on a person’s ability to enjoy life or even function normally, with some going on to develop co-morbidities such as agoraphobia (usually in an attempt to avoid anything that may trigger a panic attack or fear of not being close enough to “safe” people or areas) or substance misuse disorders.

What does a panic attack feel like?

Panic attacks are not dangerous (in the sense that they won’t cause bodily harm) and they are not the result of something “physically” wrong, but the symptoms can be so acute that people often assume they are having a heart attack, losing their mind, or even dying.

Common symptoms for panic attacks include:

• Shaking
• Sweating
• Intense chest or head pain
• A feeling of unreality
• A sense of impending doom
• Nausea and stomach cramping
• Feeling unable to breathe

It is important to understand that these symptoms aren’t imagined. What people experience in a panic attack is very real — it just isn’t going to cause them any physical harm. Activity in the brain and nervous system creates a physiological response that is indistinguishable from what a person would experience if they were in mortal danger, including a spike in blood pressure and a cascade of stress hormones.

What triggers panic attacks

Through observation and research, we now understand that panic attacks occur due to activity in three aspects of our being — our physical selves (a.k.a our physiology), our psychology and our respiratory system. We know that there is a physical cause as around 60% of panic attack sufferers respond to medication such as SSRI’s, and we can observe the panic response in their brain and nervous system.

The emotional aspect of panic attacks is more complex but no less powerful. Panic attacks can sometimes have emotional triggers, and our emotional response to feelings of panic can also serve to entrench patterns of worry and stress which make panic attacks more likely.

The third factor at the root of panic attacks is the way we breathe. The medical community is becoming more aware of the role our breath (and particularly, disturbed breathing patterns) have on our autonomic nervous system, and how conscious control of our breath may influence the way we feel for the better.

How yoga can help relieve panic attacks

There is a growing wealth of research to suggest that yoga can help people who experience panic attacks due to underlying mental health issues, particularly through the easing of symptoms associated with anxiety disorders and PTSD.  One notable example is a study published in the Frontiers of Psychology, which found “significant improvement in panic symptomatology following both the practice of yoga and the combination of yoga and psychotherapy.”

While there aren’t many studies that investigate panic attacks specifically, yoga therapy is increasingly viewed as a viable adjunct treatment for many of the conditions which include panic attacks in their symptoms. Unfortunately, around 40% of anxiety sufferers prove resistant to primary treatments for anxiety, creating a pressing need amongst health professionals and patients for other efficacious interventions.

The three aspects of yoga that support healing

Yoga therapy offers a sustainable treatment option that patients can continue long-term with their own private practice. Yoga addresses three parts of a person’s being (the breath, body and mind), which holistically supports healing across both the physical and psychological aspects of their illness, while also offering a spiritual framework for life should they wish to engage with it.

1. Breath

Breathing is often disordered in people with panic attacks, which can have a negative impact on their wider nervous system. They may “gulp” air, unconsciously hold their breath, over-breathe or breathe shallowly, and most especially when they begin to feel anxious.

Disordered breathing is something people develop unconsciously and it is often a reactive attempt to control their feelings. Unfortunately, however, it has the opposite effect, putting their nervous system into a state of high alert and culminating in periods of psychological crisis.

Pranayama (the yogic word for breathing exercises) is of increasing interest to anxiety researchers. The relationship between anxiety and our breathing is becoming ever more understood, and learning breath work with a yoga therapist can help people manage their anxiety in an effective and accessible way.

2. Body

A key component of panic attacks and anxiety are the distressing physical symptoms that accompany feelings of fear. People living with acute anxiety often display high levels of physical tension and are extremely sensitive to physical stimuli. For example, a person who regularly has panic attacks may notice and fixate on a passing headache that another person barely registers, and feel increasingly anxious about the pain.

This creates a feedback loop where the pain is amplified by the body’s physical stress response, which goes on to heighten psychological anxiety. This leads to hyper-vigilance and for some can develop into a sense of alienation from their own body.

Yoga asanas offer a gentle method of exercise that helps people connect with their bodies and feel less uncomfortable within themselves. With the help of a yoga therapist, highly anxious people can increase their “window of tolerance” for physical discomfort, learn to breathe correctly under physical strain and increase their resilience to stress.

3. Mind

The psychological aspect of panic attacks is powerful and can impact people’s lives in a profoundly negative way. They may stop taking part in activities they once enjoyed, become convinced they will suffer a heart attack or stroke, avoid spaces that aren’t perceived as safe to them, or become depressed.

Mindfulness and meditation are key components of yoga and can help people to become calmer and more able to cope with negative thoughts and emotions. With regular practice, mindfulness increases people’s capacity to recognise their own stress triggers and gently guide themselves away from detrimental thought patterns and behaviours.

Summary

Experiencing panic attacks can be life-changing for the sufferer, estranging them from the person they thought they were and the life they thought they’d lead. Managing panic attacks and the mental health issues that cause them requires holistic support which sustains people through acutely vulnerable periods of their life. When used alongside talking therapies and medication, yoga therapy can provide another pillar of care on the road to recovery.

The post The beneficial impact of yoga on panic attacks appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

10 Steps to Be Happy Now

1. Put yourself first

Are you a busy parent, running around after your children and/or partner, ensuring everyone is happy, while neglecting your needs? Are you working tirelessly to earn more money, yet isolating yourself and giving up on your hobbies? Many place others first, thinking this is unselfish. However, this is the fast track to frustration, anger and resentment, especially on challenging days. Happy and successful parents, partners and workers, ensure they have a balanced life, including fun pursuits, socialising, rest and work. Be kind to yourself by doing what makes you happy every day. It is your life… so do not put yourself last. What do you feel like doing right now?

2. Be grateful

Although it’s hard to look at the wonderful things in life when you are feeling low, it is necessary. List the things you are grateful for and watch how your mood changes; it is all about transforming your mindset. Make it your new habit to list five things you are grateful for, every day, from small to large. By the law of attraction, you will attract more good into your life, improve your circumstances, and opportunities, when you spend the majority of your time focussed on the positive. Have you made your “grateful list” today?

3. Plan fun moments

It is essential to remain focussed on the present moment, but if your life is currently challenging, traumatic or filled with grief, you may need a break from this moment by creating wonderful future moments. You could plan a family holiday, a weekend getaway, a romantic dinner or a night out to a concert. Be kind to your future self and plan exciting adventures, fun days and opportunities to create wonderful memories. What wonderful experiences are you currently looking forward to?

4. Change your thoughts to positive

Are many of your thoughts negative? Automatic thoughts are commonly triggered by belief systems in your subconscious about yourself, circumstances and relationships. These core beliefs may be negative, causing your thoughts to be self-defeating. Be prepared to listen to your thoughts and argue with yourself. Does this thought need challenging? Am I jumping to conclusion? Is this black and white thinking? [i.e. something is either all wrong or all right] Negative thinking is simply a habit. Think of your mind as a television remote control, and then keep switching from the negative thoughts channel to the positive thoughts channel. You may use self-affirming statements such as: I will feel better tomorrow. This situation is temporary. By using thought swapping strategies, and self-affirming statements, you positively influence your thoughts, core beliefs and mood. You cannot stop your thoughts, but you can swap your thoughts. Have you been listening to your thoughts today?

5. Improve brain chemistry

Antidepressants often improve depression by changing the balance of neurotransmitters in the brain, such as serotonin and dopamine. Did you know that you can help your body improve these same neurotransmitters? Avoiding processed foods, and instead, eating whole foods such as quality carbohydrates, proteins, fruits, vegetables and raw nuts is thought to increase serotonin levels, reducing your risk of depression. Exercise releases endorphins, which elevate mood and increase your emotional resilience. Exercise often decreases the stress hormone, cortisol. High cortisol levels are believed to be a contributing factor in ill health, mood swings, weight gain, and depression. Therefore, exercise and healthy eating can assist you in the fight against depression, sickness, and the dreaded sad days. Have you scheduled healthy eating and regular exercise into your routine?

6  Reward yourself

What do you love doing? Do you love sitting in the sun reading magazines? How about a long drive to a hill station? Perhaps you love going on picnics, enjoying long bubble baths, or watching a movie. Is time in the garden your escape from life? Or do you prefer sitting with friends, eating takeaway foods, while watching the sun set? Whatever you love doing, do it; don’t deprive yourself. It is essential to reward yourself, especially on those sad days. What are your three favourite ways to reward yourself?

7. Sit in the sun

Sitting in the sun, even for a few minutes per day, can improve mood, positive brain chemistry, and vitamin D levels. When you feel unhappy, stressed, agitated, or even depressed, spend 15 minutes in the sun, and enjoy all the benefits of nature’s vitamin tablet. Relax, feel rejuvenated, and feel more grounded again, after some time in the sun… ready to face even the most complex of issues. Do you have a special place where you like to sit in the sun and relax?

8. Listen to music

Next time you wish to escape your troubles, grab your headphones, turn your favourite music on, and have a mini party. Music has the magical ability to transport your emotions to another place, making music a natural healer. So, if you want to forget your troubles dance or sing to your favourite songs. If you are grieving, and may need to cry, put the sad songs on, and give yourself permission to grieve. Tears that are “stuck” magnify your emotions, so allow the tears to flow. Bring a little magic to your day, or experience some of your deepest feelings, by allowing music to guide you. How have you incorporated music into your daily routine?

9. Meditate

Calm the mind, re-focus the thoughts, and feel peaceful again, with some guided meditation, using a CD or download. Regular meditation has been shown to improve brain function and health of the body. Scientific research suggests that long-term meditation thickens grey matter, and the number of folds in the cortex of the brain. This area is believed to play a role in thought, attention and memory. Accordingly, we can assume that to feel more in control of our mind, emotions, and health, we need to meditate regularly. Can you image how your life would improve with regular meditation?

10. Take a break

Sad or low energy days give us the chance to stand back from the frantic pace of life, and reflect on our goals. When we become fatigued, saddened or ill, we may find ourselves working less, yet having more time to reflect. Ask yourself: What is working in my life? What is not? Most of us do not stop enough and actively plan the life we want; we can find ourselves re-acting to life, instead of being pro-active. Have a daily break and remain rested and focussed. Give yourself permission to stop your usual activities, and ponder. Have you incorporated daily breaks into your schedule?

You have the ability to help yourself through these challenging days, with these ten steps. Put the power back in your hands. Keep asking yourself: What do I feel like doing right now? Change your day; change your life… start by changing this moment and be happy now. And if your sad days persist, you may have depression, unresolved grief, or anxiety; if so, please consult a doctor, psychologist or counsellor.

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Proper sleep raises our body’s immunity against viral infection and protects against higher risks of cardiovascular disease [heart attacks and strokes], type II diabetes, obesity, cancer, early onset of Alzheimer’s disease, depression, irritability, stress and anxiety.

Restful sleep also enhances cognitive performance, including memory, creativity, reaction-time, critical thinking and even athletic performance. That is a pretty good bargain for a pleasurable healthy experience with little effort on our behalf!

One way to ensure good sleep is to try sleeping with your best friend—your pet dog, cat or  any other four legged being. How many of us enjoy sharing our bed with a 4-legged family member? A good way to ensure good sleep is to sleep with your best friend, whether it is your dog, cat, or any other four-legged creature. Please do not forget to provide our furry companions with the loving care they deserve, and secure pet insurance for when necessary.

Benefits of Sleeping With Your Dog or Cat

Statistics show around 41 percent of surveyed pet owners who allowed their pet to sleep in the bedroom or on the bed said that they did not find their pet disruptive, and they even reported sleeping better. Here is why:

• A big advantage of sleeping with your 4-legged family member is they help with your emotional wellbeing. A pet offers you a feeling of companionship leading to decrease in feelings of loneliness.
• Pets lower your stress level, and ease depression. Studies suggest that the presence of pets increases the flow of oxytocin, the love chemical.
• Sleeping with your dog gives you an increased sense of security, especially for women.
• Pets promote coziness and warmth, and not just for humans. Our pets love to be next to their human companions and it reduces their anxiety that might be triggered by seeing animals on your TV screen [scores of TV commercials show pets], hearing environmental noise and having reactions to thunder and lightning. Win-win for both you and your faithful animal companions.

A Few Disadvantages

One disadvantage of sleeping with your fur baby is that it could negatively affect your love life, so you will probably want to have an alternative plan in place for them to sleep where they feel safe and you aren’t distracted. Thank god most animals can’t talk [beware the smart observant parrot!]

If you have allergies, co-sleeping with your pet might trigger or aggravate your condition.

While some people sleep better with a dog or cat because they feel calmer and more secure, others might have their sleep interrupted by pets moving around or snoring. So If you are a light sleeper, you might not enjoy your pet sleeping on your bed next to you.

Some pets—a large dog, for instance—may cause disruptions to your rest just by simply taking up a large space in your bed or trying to sleep on top of you.

Ideal Setting for Sleeping With Your dog or Cat

The ideal bedroom temperature for you and your pet is between 65 and 68 degrees Fahrenheit. Also your sleeping quarters should be quiet and dark. A white noise generator can be peaceful and mask a noisy environment, but make sure the gadget is one that generates white noise rather than just playing a tape recording [which can interrupt sleep].

Keeping an air purifier in the bedroom will cut down on dust, dander and dog hair. Spraying lavender on pillows and sheets will aid your sleep and mask pet odors.

While there some sleep disturbances to humans, dogs and cats are just as much at risk when it comes to co-sleeping with their owners. People readjust and move around in their sleep without fully waking, so it could be dangerous to your 4-legged friends if you were to roll over on them or smother them with your blankets and comforters.

On the other hand, if your dog has some jerky leg movements, eye movements and maybe even some whimpering or barking, and cats show whisker twitching, rest assured they might be in REM sleep, the stage in which dreams most often occur in humans and animals.

Sleep well and sweet dreams!

The post Should You Be Sleeping With Your Dog or Cat? appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

This belief just got a shot in its arm. New research shows how a person’s pupils respond to threatening images reveals if they have suffered a traumatic experience in the past.

The post Your eyes are the window to your past trauma appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

However, if you have been feeling down for an extended period of time, with a persistent feeling of sadness and a loss of interest in daily living, you might be suffering from depression. Depression need to not be linked to an event and may include suicidal tendencies. A study suggested that if we eliminate depression, suicide rates would go down by as much as 80 per cent. In some cases, the mental health condition may be caused by one or more reasons.

If you are feeling depressed or suicidal, my first advice is to talk to someone who is kind, compassionate and empathetic and is willing to listen without judging you. Talking to a friend or a well-wisher often puts things in the appropriate perspective. If possible, see a trained counsellor. Seeking treatments for your condition may help alleviate it and prevent it from getting worse.

Next, I would suggest you kickstart your yoga practice right away. Participating in various activities may help you manage your condition better. Don’t underestimate the efficacy of yoga in managing mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. Indeed, my own journey is a testimony to its powerful benefits on one’s mental health, for had it not been for yoga [and my friends], I too may have been part of the terrible statistics.

Yoga and mental health

Various researches including the one by Journal of Affective Disorders have concluded that yoga-based interventions are “an attractive option for treatment of depression”. According to Harvard Medical School, a new research on yoga has yielded promising evidence that yoga could complement traditional treatment for depression. It was seen that a regular practice of yoga helped modulate stress response which, in turn, was beneficial for those with depression and anxiety.

My own journey into wellbeing started when I was on medication for depression and anxiety. Interestingly, one of the side-effects of the medication was suicidal feelings. [Yes, your anti-depressant could make you suicidal.]

For me, a few rounds of Surya Namaskar (sun-salutations), headstand and kapalbhati played a big role in dissolving the suicidal thoughts. While Ayurveda believes this has to do with yoga’s ability to balance and energise chakras in a therapeutic manner, we are yet to understand the intricacies from a modern research perspective. This is not due to lack of evidence but rather because we do not have methodologies to study the shift in suicidal tendencies.

4 ways yoga benefits your mental health

1. Regulates good and bad hormones

At the most basic level, any physical activity helps improve muscle tone and circulation and causes a surge in endorphins—the feel-good hormones. Yoga goes a few steps further. A well-designed yoga session not just works at a physical level but also helps increase the energy field by removing mental and emotional blocks and not just muscle knots. Ideally, after finishing a traditional yoga session, you would feel like you received an Abhyangam. Yoga helps reduce the levels of the stress hormone cortisol while increasing happy hormones like GABA, serotonin and dopamine, all critical neurotransmitters related to mood.

If you want to include a workout session into your daily routine to help your mood, it may be an excellent idea to consider enrolling in yoga classes.

2. Encourages slow, deep breathing

Gymnasts perform many postures that look similar to yoga asanas, but they do not get all the benefits of an asana. This is because yoga practice involves slow, deep diaphragmatic breathing which, in turn, helps the body and mind to relax. The yogic style of breathing is known to stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system and the vagal tone, both extremely important to help us move away from stress and towards relaxation. Learning proper breathing may help you outside your yoga sessions. For instance, you may try to calm your thoughts whenever you feel low by breathing slowly and practicing mindfulness.

3. Promotes mindfulness

Depression often leads us to replay our past whereas anxiety is related to the thoughts of the future. In yoga, you are encouraged to keep your attention on the breath and not let your mind wander. Some forms of yoga utilise the benefits of mindfulness to help improve a person’s overall well-being and health. An authentic yoga teacher reminds her students to keep bringing their attention back to the now. With regular practice, being centered and mindful comes easily.

4. Builds resilience

Yoga helps us face failure and build resilience by bringing us face to face with our vulnerabilities and strengths. On the mat we learn that we can’t always do a pose that looks easy for another person. We learn also that after months of practice, we are nowhere closer to touching our toes. But the principles of Abhyasa and Vairagya—practice incessantly, practice without expectation of results—keep us grounded and committed. Your improvements may also boost your mood and, therefore, may help alleviate your mental condition. We show up and try again, until we begin to surprise ourselves. When we are in a difficult pose on the mat, the teacher encourages us to observe, to breathe, embrace our limits and to know within that “this too shall pass”—an excellent learning for a difficult phase off the mat. This is how yoga builds our adversity quotient while teaching us to be kind to ourselves.

Final Thoughts

Practicing yoga can provide various benefits to your overall health. For one, it’s an effective workout to keep your body fit and healthy. It can also help improve your flexibility and mobility. In some cases, yoga may also help your mental well-being. Some people who suffer from mental health problems can take advantage of yoga to improve their mental state. So, if you’re looking for an activity to help your health condition, don’t hesitate to try yoga.

— This article was last updated on 7^th December 2021

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What anxiety feels like

Your heart races; you get the sweats; your mind is uncontrollable, racing or forgetful; it’s difficult to concentrate. Your adrenal glands work overtime and you frequently have a “fight and flight” reaction. You feel as if at any moment you could malfunction or explode, so you avoid situations and people. Your emotions are out of control; the panic overcomes you and you may feel disconnected from your surroundings, dizzy, sick in the stomach, or have chest pains. Your sleep and appetite are disrupted, leaving you feeling unwell and exhausted. You get the drift…

How anxiety affects your life

Anxiety may impact your work, your relationships, your belief in yourself, and your trust in life. Many people with anxiety self-medicate or attempt to escape with drugs or alcohol which, in turn, lead to neurotransmitter imbalances in the brain. You feel mental, but you are not! You are a victim of circumstances; you are only suffering because an intolerable situation in your past has become deeply ingrained in your subconscious.

What causes anxiety

At the heart of most anxiety is trauma, sometimes from as long as 10 or 20 years ago. But the impact of the trauma is deeply ingrained in your subconscious, causing a fear-based belief system that has changed your perception of life while affecting your speech, behaviour, and reality.

Some possible reasons for your anxiety could be

1. Childhood abuse [physical, verbal or sexual]
2. Witnessing a traumatic incident
3. Being involved in a car accident
4. Negative thinking [habitual]
5. Abusive relationship [past or current]
6. Diagnosed conditions: Depression, OCD, PTSD, Personality Disorders, Bi-Polar, etc.,
7. Acquired brain injury or large blow to head
8. Past heavy drug or alcohol abuse
9. Past bullying
10. Past trauma when you felt powerless – Event or natural disaster

Impact of trauma

When traumatised, you will often have flashbacks, sleep disruption, nightmares; you will avoid people and places; you will feel anger, guilt, shame, low self-esteem, hopelessness, and maybe even get thoughts of committing suicide.

When you have significant trauma, your body replays the traumas like a record player that is stuck – your trauma plays over and over. As a consequence, your body gets trapped in the world of triggers. You may find yourself becoming hyper-vigilant, fearful, jumpy, on edge, and of course, angry. It doesn’t take much, and you are like a volcano erupting. Standard counselling techniques may not be enough to end this torment. Your anxiety may be the result of years of trauma, or it could be a part of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder [PTSD], where you have been in a life/death situation. Maybe you didn’t view an event as serious, but your mind/body are still having trouble resolving and processing this. You need an expert in trauma; someone who is trained in treating PTSD, or someone who works on three levels: Mind, Subconscious Mind and Body.

Coping with anxiety: 10 things you can do to help yourself right now

Listen to and challenge your thoughts

With over 70,000 thoughts per day, this is going to be a challenge. You have been programmed by friends, family, teachers, and the media, to see yourself and life a certain way—either negative or positive. You are also programming yourself every day. When coping with anxiety, it’s vital to listen to your thoughts, to ensure you are not criticising yourself or making incorrect assumptions about circumstances. You may need help, using CBT [Cognitive Behaviour Therapy] with a counsellor or psychologist, to improve your thoughts, to ensure you don’t get into the habit of ‘black and white’ thinking, etc., which inflames anxiety further.

Walk

Aim for at least three 30-minute brisk walks per week to improve the balance of serotonin and dopamine in your brain—these are essential for improving your sense of wellbeing. Also, when you exercise, you are actively reducing cortisol, which is a stress hormone that makes anxiety worse. In addition, exercise creates endorphins, which is nature’s way of making you feel great and make you emotionally more resilient.

Give your body rest

Anxiety causes an overload on many of your organs, your nervous system, and your adrenal glands. Try listening to music or using meditation to slow down or distract yourself from erratic thoughts. Take time out daily—just for you—to focus on relaxation, your hobbies and rejuvenating. Support your overwhelmed body to stay well and avoid illness, common in anxiety. Rest the body, and the mind will follow.

Eat healthy and regular meals

Quality carbohydrates and proteins improve your serotonin levels, ensuring that you have continued strength and your blood sugar levels are more consistent. Many people with anxiety skip meals, and don’t eat well, adding to the overload on the body. Never do that.

Sit in the sun

Aim for 15 minutes in the sun daily. This is great to help you absorb vitamin D, and make you more relaxed. Being kind to yourself is key to changing your life. Start with small steps, and these will soon become big steps.

Live for you

Constantly ask yourself, “What do I feel like doing right now?” Too many people live for others, leaving them feeling controlled or overwhelmed. When you feel unheard, disrespected or manipulated, this sense of powerlessness only adds to your fatigue, and contributes to anxiety. Take your power back.

Ask for help

Healthy emotional boundaries are important in improving our emotions. If you need help, reach out for help. Anxiety is exhausting, and you may need help in many areas of your life, while you are transitioning.

Stop being so hard on yourself

You didn’t ask to be traumatised, did you? No one asks for anxiety. This happened to you. It’s not your fault, but you can get help. You are not inadequate; you are suffering. You usually can’t fix this alone. Reach out for help.

See your doctor

See your doctor and ask for the Mental Health Plan [where available], so that you may get FREE [or subsidised] 6-10 sessions with a psychologist who specialises in trauma and anxiety. The doctor may recommend medication to improve an imbalance of neurotransmitters in your brain, such as Serotonin or Dopamine.

Go deep—get professional help for your trauma with a specialist

Following are three techniques that can help reduce trauma, by working not just with thoughts…but working with the mind, the Subconscious mind and the body. These ‘deep’ methods have caused many [including myself] to experience profound healing and change. Feel free to Google or YouTube these techniques, to learn more and find the psychologist/therapist in your area that specialises in one of these three techniques:

1. Somatic Therapy [Founder Peter Levine]: Learn to heal trauma by working with a somatic trained therapist to regulate emotions and body, in the here and now.
2. EMDR Eye Movement De-sensitisation [Founder Dr Shapiro]: Learn to heal trauma by re-processing the memories in the subconscious, by working with a therapist trained in EMDR.
3. Brainspotting [Founder David Grand]: Learn how the eyes and subconscious work together to find the spots of trauma in the subconscious, then release and re-process these emotions and trauma by working with a therapist trained in Brainspotting.

Healing the past

20 years ago, I was in crisis, so I know how it feels. I want you to really enjoy your life and experience more peace, control and happiness without experiencing daily panic and anxiety. My second book Are You Listening? Life is Talking to You has helped many feel re-connected to life again. It all starts with you… I want you to have the best life possible, and for that reason, I spent five years writing this book – for those in crisis. With these tools, and with a little help from a trauma expert, healing is possible. May your love for yourself and your life deepen more daily.

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Here are a few simple self-massages to help you navigate everyday complaints holistically. You can use these any time you like. Some are general massages and some focus more on acupressure points. When you give yourself an acupressure treatment, don’t worry if you are exactly on the “right spot”. Instead, think about these points as about the area of a medium-sized coin. When you feel more sensation—nervy, sharp or tender—you know that you have found the right spot. Learn these techniques for yourself and teach them to your family and friends. Healing is in your hands.

1.  Massages for pain relief

These simple massages of acupressure points are useful for contending with everyday aches and pains. The first point is especially well known for helping to alleviate face and tooth pain. But it can also be used for headaches, or pain associated with a bout of indigestion. The second point is especially useful for headaches, depression and menstrual pain.

• Massage the place in the webbing of your index finger and thumb. Apply a squeezing action and massage for about one to two minutes in little circles.
• Next, massage the area where the bones of your big and second toe meet. Use your index finger or thumb. Massage for about one to two minutes in little circles on each foot.

2.  Massage for better breathing

This self massage will help release tension in the chest and free up breathing muscles. It can also help strengthen and revitalize the lungs.

• Use the tips of all of your fingers to quickly tap the upper front ribs, beneath your collar bones, as you take a deep breath in through your nose.
• Exhale through your mouth and use your whole flat hand to slap the ribs as if you are helping to push the air out. Repeat three to five times.
• Repeat this technique on the lower front ribs.
• Next, make fists with your hands and massage the kidney area with your knuckles—just under the ribs in the back—briskly for about one minute.

3.  Massage to relieve anxiety

• Lightly tap the point between your eyebrows, also known as the third eye. You can also try gently massaging this point for about one minute while taking deep breaths.
• Another great point to relieve anxiety is at the centre of your sternum [the flat bone at the front centre of the chest], where you’ll feel a little depression in the bone. Give this area a gentle tap or a circular massage as you breathe deeply for about one minute. Then rest, breathe and notice how you feel.

4.  Massage to combat computer strain

If you spend a lot of time in front of a computer, you know that even though you are sitting still, your body is under a lot of strain. The good news is that this simple self-massage can help.

• Begin by rubbing your hands together to warm them. Place your warm palms over your eyes and take a deep breath. Repeat two to three times.
• Use your right hand to rhythmically squeeze and twist your left shoulder.
• Next, squeeze your upper arm and continue this action down to your wrist and hand. Repeat two to three times. Spend extra time squeezing your wrist.
• Now squeeze and twist each finger.
• Place your right thumb in the centre of the outer crease of your left wrist. With firm pressure slide your thumb up your forearm to your elbow. Repeat this stroke several times.
• Use the same action on the inside of your forearm.
• Repeat the sequence on the right side.
• Next, makes fists with your hands. Lean forward and vigorously rub the lower back with your knuckles. Continue for at least one minute.

5.  Massage for eyestrain

Eyestrain is especially common in computer users and others who do close work, like sewing or knitting. Here are some self-massage techniques that can help. Use this sequence to supplement simple focus breaks and bring more energy and relief to the eye area.

• Begin by rubbing your hands together briskly until they are warm. Place your warm hands over your closed eyes and take two deep breaths.
• Next, place your index fingers on the centre of the cheekbone, just below your pupil. Massage this area with tiny circles for one to two minutes. Take a few deep breaths.
• Next, use your thumb to massage the area where the bones of the big and second toe meet for one to two minutes. You will feel a “zingy” nervy sensation when you find the point.
• Repeat on your left foot.

6.  Massage for cramps [especially leg cramps]

Some people get legs cramps during the day after a long walk or a lot of exercise, and sometimes leg cramps creep up in the middle of the night, seemingly for no reason at all. If cramps are a frequent or recurrent problem, seek medical attention. For an occasional cramp, try this simple acupressure point.

• Massage the space just above your upper lip, in a gentle, circular motion for about one minute. Or try holding this point, or lightly tapping it for several seconds.
• Take several deep breaths.
• If this point doesn’t relieve the cramp, try massaging and stretching the muscle itself.

7.  Massage to improve energy

Afternoon fatigue can interfere with work and make life less enjoyable in general. These self- massage techniques can help overcome that tiredness. Just make sure you use them before you get too tired!

• Sitting in a chair, or standing, make fists and place your knuckles on your lower back. Vigorously rub the area for one to two minutes.
• Next, place your knuckles on the “Three Mile Point”. The ancient Chinese people believed that if you rubbed this area, you could walk three more miles! It’s just below your kneecap on the outside of your shinbone on each leg. Scrub this area with your knuckles, briskly, up and down for about one minute.

8.  Final deep relaxation

If you have time, it’s great to end your self-massage session with deep relaxation. Relaxing after self-massage can help the techniques you’ve used to work better.

• Lie on your back on the floor, or even a couch, and close your eyes.
• Make sure you are warm and comfortable.
• Then begin breathing deeply and progressively relaxing each part of your body, from your feet to your head.

Self-massage is natural, powerful, free and enjoyable. The few minutes it takes to care for your body is time well spent. These techniques, along with other supportive measures like the use back flower remedies, can help you feel better and also alleviate your anxiety.

You will feel better, have less pain and discomfort and more energy to pursue the things you love in life. Enjoy!

The post 8 Self-Massage Techniques to Ease Your Pain and Anxiety appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

For one thing, you probably feel like you don’t have the right to defend yourself, yes? Most people feel that it’s wrong to express anger, especially against people they love or respect, so they swallow their feelings instead.

Yet, this reaction is neither helpful nor needed. Understand that you are not obliged to own the actions or feelings of other people, no matter who they are. Although tempting, stewing over such things only leads to angst and bitterness.

But how do you prevent other people’s insults, criticisms or downright rudeness from causing you pain? Do you really have what it takes to protect yourself from the emotional tyranny of others? Can you even do this without causing more trouble? I believe you can. So let’s talk about how this is done.

There are no bad emotions

When we are at odds with someone, it can be hard to tell who is right or wrong. But I promise you that you can never be wrong for having an emotional reaction. That’s like saying birds should be ashamed of flying. At no time should you feel guilty for simply feeling anger, shock or any other emotion. Put in another way, it’s okay to feel whichever way you like.

As children we are often taught to refrain from being too wild, too loud or too angry. And no matter how old you get, this message stays stuck in your head. This is why we often struggle with intense emotion. We let it riddle us with guilt, fear and a deep-seated urge to remain silently dissatisfied.

However, having strong feelings, especially after someone has emotionally crushed you, isn’t wrong; in fact it’s normal. The question isn’t whether or not your feelings are okay. The real question is how to find a beneficial way to express and protect your feelings without producing guilt or regret in yourself.

To be understood you must first understand yourself

Before you go around blaming people for how you feel, you must first examine yourself. This is uncomfortable. No one likes to see their own flaws or admit that they might have something to do with a negative situation. But self-reflection is crucial. For example, let’s say you believe that your boss hates you with passion. He doesn’t like how you dress, speak or work. And so, whenever he’s around you feel nervous and awkward.

But what’s really happening? Is it that your boss hates you or could it be that you hate your boss but don’t feel that it’s right to feel that way? Is your boss really a bad person, or does she remind you of someone else you don’t like? Is it really this single person that burns you up inside or could it be that she represents something larger that you despise? The sources of our feelings aren’t always clear-cut. Take the time to examine why you feel the way you do, for hurt feelings are nearly always softened by careful thought.

Realise that it may not be about you

Sometimes when people struggle in life they take it out on others. Usually this happens when people unconsciously express personal stress without knowing it. That doesn’t mean that it is okay for someone to be abusive simply because they are stressed; it just means that sometimes it is helpful to imagine yourself standing in their place before you judge their actions. It is important to remember that empathy and compassion toward others, including people we dislike, can change our feelings even in the most difficult situations.

Accept that you cannot read minds

When someone does something to upset you, you’ll often try to read his mind to decrease your own anxiety. It’s a primitive way of preventing a worst-case scenario from happening. This, of course, is preposterous. Not only is your mind reading in vain, but it also increases anxiety and misunderstanding. It even gets in the way of using more effective problem-solving skills. Things like silence, assumption and sloppy guess work will only serve to intensify a situation rather than resolve it.

The key to protecting your feelings

So far we’ve talked about what to do when someone does something to hurt you:

• Acknowledge how you feel
• Understand why you feel that way
• Try not to take it  personally
• Try not to guess why the person did what they did.

But that’s not all. Perhaps the most important thing you can do to protect your feelings is to set clear boundaries with people. While you’re obviously not going to go around providing people with a list of rules, when someone does offend you, it is critical that you speak up.

To be fair, people sometimes have moments of stupidity and unintentionally act badly; forgive those people. However, if you notice a harmful pattern in the way someone treats you, then you must act. Tell the offending party how and why you were offended, but most importantly, clearly state that you will not tolerate their bad behaviour.

If expressing your concern directly is not an option, then introduce some space. Limit the time you spend with people that emotionally drain you and fail to respect your boundaries. You can even be kind about it. Trying to feel compassion and empathy for them will help you to increase your tolerance and patience towards them. Your gentle reserve will send a clear message that will be heard with time.

Whenever you take personal responsibility for someone else’s behaviour, you’re setting yourself up for sorrow, rage and anxiety. When you fail to care about yourself and your needs as much as you care for others, you are also setting the expectation that you are okay with people treating you poorly.

My advice to you: be kind and firm with others and you will better protect your feelings from bad behaviour.

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