During the contest, the young man displayed superlative adeptness when his first arrow hit the bull’s eye, and then he split that arrow into two with his second shot. Highly pleased with his own performance, he dared the old man to match it. The master remained calm and instead of drawing his bow he motioned for the young archer to follow him up the hill. Curious about what the old man was up to, the young archer followed him near the peak of the mountain. There, they confronted a deep gulf, bridged simply by a flimsy trunk of an old tree. The master stepped on the wobbly log and walked to the middle, picked a far away tree as a target, drew his bow, and fired a clean, direct hit. Calm and composed, he stepped off the log quietly, looked at the champion archer and said, “Your turn now.”

As he stared into the terrifying chasm, the young man trembled and couldn’t even step onto the log, leave aside attempting to shoot at a target. Sensing his predicament, the old man looked at him lovingly and, without a trace of superiority, said, “Young man, no doubt you have great skill with your bow and arrow but you have little skill with the mind that controls these weapons. Shooting arrows in contests is not that same as firing them on the battlefield, where violence can arise upon any kind of terrain and under any conditions. If you want to be a real champion, go and become the master of your mind.”

Why Unwavering Composure Matters

For me, the lesson in this Zen story runs deeper than the abyss that terrified the young archer. All my life, I have been taught to focus on learning new ways to succeed, on acquiring knowledge, on gaining technical “expertise”. After all, these qualities are valued in the world. But when disaster strikes, when I am confronted with an unexpected crisis, or when life throws a curve ball, no amount of expertise and knowledge comes in handy — unless it is also accompanied by a tranquil mind. Only if you are calm and composed can you face stressful situations without succumbing to the pressure. And yet, learning worldly skills is given prominence everywhere with hardly any emphasis on the importance of training the mind for peace and calmness.

But then, life is the greatest school with the most unsuspecting teachers on its roll. And my teachers have come disguised as unexpected difficulties and stressful situations — challenges and problems that have stumped me and made me realize that what I most need at that moment is unwavering composure; nothing else matters as much.

Also read » The lion and the crippled fox

Why Staying Calm Helps

I rate the ability to stay calm and composed as greater than any other material accomplishment. Without composure, I cannot help myself or another. But if peace is my constant companion, regardless of how stressful the challenge, how demanding the situation, how dicey the problem, I know I can deal with it. This is what the Zen master implied when he urged the young archer to become the master of his mind.

I understand that steadfast equanimity requires great practice and dedication, especially because it is not given priority in a world that is smitten by material wealth and sense pleasures. But, like the Zen story teaches us, skill — or for that matter riches, fame or power — are of little use without a calm mind. That’s why I consider the ability to stay calm and composed under all circumstances to be the greatest quality. This quality of composure is a flowering of mindfulness. Let me explain.

How to Be Mindful In Stressful Situations

To be able to stay calm and composed in the midst of chaos and uncertainty requires one to be in a state of heightened awareness, which is the quality of mindfulness. When facing a crisis, a mindful person, rather than being swayed by extreme emotions, stays calm and controlled while working the best way out of the situation. Mindful beings are in touch the present moment and also know that their all power exists now in the timeless realm of now. When you focus on the present, you are able to respond better to the challenges at hand rather than being overwhelmed by stress and losing perspective of your situation.

Here are a few steps that will help you stay calm and composed in stressful situations:

1. Acknowledge and accept that you are feeling stressed

Only when you acknowledge the physical and emotional signs of stress — palpitations, feelings of weakness, a stream of dreadful thoughts — are you in a position to do something about it. Accepting your stressful feelings allows you to approach the situation objectively and calmly.

2. Stop and notice your breath

Take a moment to pause and pay attention to your breathing. As you notice you breath, you will begin to breathe deeper and slower which, in turn, will activate the body’s relaxation response and help you regain a sense of calm.

3. Bring your attention to the present

Become intensely present. Look around and notice your surroundings. Also make note of  the sensations in your body as well as your mental chatter. Doing so will instantly ground you and anchor you to the present moment. Now you will have a clearer view of the stressful situation.

4. Question your fearful thoughts

Stressful situations cause our minds to go into an overdrive of negative thinking. But most of these thoughts are simply unfounded fears that can be challenged and disputed with reason. As you question your thoughts, you will be able to look at your stressful situation in the right context.

5. Be your own friend

Avoid self-criticism. Bashing yourself up is self-defeating phenomenon with terrible consequences. Give yourself space to be imperfect. Be gentle and compassionate to yourself like you would be to a friend in a similar situation.

Conclusion

Try following the above steps, the next time you feel immobilized when facing a difficult situation. With practice, being mindful will enable you to stay stay calm and composed no matter how challenging and stressful your situation.

If you wish to learn how to cultivate a mindful disposition, start by reading this article.

Also read » The man who eliminated uncertainty

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As I was maneuvering my way through the busy and chaos-filled roads, my mind began agitating and protesting against the undesirable circumstances that were thrust upon me by the inconsiderate authorities who ran the city. I was simmering inside, blaming the traffic cops, the civic authorities and everyone else who I was convinced were responsible for the mismanagement of the city’s roads. The cynic in me was rejoicing in self-righteous indignation! All through the drama, a part of me was quietly noticing my reactions—and acknowledging a familiar pattern in them.

Traffic as a metaphor for life

Driving in a densely populated city like Mumbai is an emotionally charged phenomenon. The collective emotional charge of scores of commuters often runs very high. Over the years I have come to liken traffic in this city as a metaphor for life itself. The unpredictability, the chaos, the reactions and counter-reactions, the rat race in which everyone is trying to get ahead, with little consideration for fellow commuters—all seem to mimic life. And, just like in life, while driving, we always have a choice to either respond or react.

When I am behind the wheel, my fragile ego often goes into an overdrive. For example, when someone cuts in front of me, I get highly offended—and immediately want to get even with this unworthy being who needs to be taught some lessons in respecting others’ rights. But isn’t this the way I react to people in my life too? Without knowing the whole context, I often make up my mind about others. When I feel offended by someone, I assume the worst about him or her. And in the process, I create unnecessary stress and anxiety for myself.

Becoming mindful of the “other”

Now, what if the gentleman who cut ahead of me was facing an emergency? What if he wanted to get to an important meeting lest he lose his job? What if he was grieving and preoccupied with thoughts of a friend who had recently passed away? Or worse, what if his wife was in a critical condition, and he had to rush to the hospital? Would I still feel so righteous about myself? Would I still want to get even with him? I think I would respond with compassion and concern and silently send him good wishes.

Granted that people are often deliberately sadistic on the road—but here’s what I have learned. Every time I react to others by trying to get even, I fuel their belligerence even more, adding to the already high negative charge on the road, and end up feeling not so great myself. Yet, each time I respond with kindness to those who drive recklessly, I dilute their aggression, introduce a little peace on the road, and maintain my own connection to peace. This is possible when we practice mindfulness while driving.

Practicing mindfulness while driving

I have now come to regard the daily commute as a fantastic opportunity to practise the values of kindness and compassion, tolerance and patience. Of course, it takes time to make these changes—I still tend to get hooked by my ancient pattern of reacting. But at least I am aware of it… and often this awareness restores my connection quickly and strengthens my commitment to being mindful, while driving — and living.

Deliberately practicing mindfulness while driving keeps us from overreacting and helps us stay in touch with our shared humanity. Think of driving like a daily mindfulness classroom, where you can learn to tame your ego and lessen your cynicism. In time, you will find yourself being more mindful both on and off the road, and you will begin to experience reduced stress and greater peace in all aspects of your life. That is the beauty of mindfulness.

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On the occasion of his 104^th birthday, I am reminded of a beautiful December morning. It was a Sunday and, accompanied by my wife and mom, I was headed towards the Sadhu Vaswani Mission [SVM] Centre in Pune for the morning satsang. As we entered the hall, the kirtan was going on and Dada was sitting meditatively, with his eyes closed. The SVM team received us warmly and, to my delight, helped us find seats right in the front. I was happy to see Dada and was eagerly waiting to meet and interact with him after the discourse — he interacts freely with all who attend.

What happened next will remain etched in my memory forever.

Dada saw the divine in all

As the kirtan came to an end, Dada slowly opened his eyes, lovingly looked all around, gave a loving smile of acknowledgement when he saw me. He then brought the microphone close to him, and I expected that he would begin his discourse. But, instead, he made an announcement. He said, “Today, we have among us a dear friend of mine, for whom I have great respect and reverence. I hold him in the highest esteem—Mr. Manoj Khatri.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing even as my heart started pounding.

Dada continued, “There are innumerable newspapers and magazines published in India. But he is the editor of one of the best magazines in India. He has come amidst us to bless us. I am grateful to him and I greet him with all the love of my heart. He is a man of knowledge, understanding, love…he is a man of sweetness and strength.”

He then requested the chairperson of the SVM trust to felicitate me, my wife and my mother, and then asked me to address the satsangis present.

I was choked, my eyes welling up. I felt myself overcome with emotion, partly because it was all so surreal but also because while I didn’t believe I deserved any of the praise he showered on me, I knew that Dada did—he recognized the divine in me.

That’s what made Dada Vaswani so different—he practiced what most only preach. He never held back his kindness and love. He gave it away all too freely. And his humility is the stuff of legend.

You are that!

I recall the first time I had met him several years ago, and I bent down to touch his feet and seek his blessings, he had looked into my eyes and said, “You bless me. You are that.”

What enables a man such as Dada who had millions of devotees around the world, who was respected and admired by spiritual leaders like the His Holiness the Dalai Lama, to see God in ordinary individuals like me?

I believe Dada had cultivated the divine sight. In my opinion, only the divine in us can recognize the divine in another. Till he was in form, Dada remained connected with his divinity—and that is only possible for someone who has conquered his ego and lives in the moment, fully awake.

Being like Dada Vaswani

I, too, have experienced egoless moments—fleeting instances when I feel connected to every atom in the Universe, when every cell of my being is filled with love—a feeling that cannot be described, only experienced. Dada lived in that state.

Having witnessed Dada’s interactions with people over the years has reaffirmed my belief that there’s no evil or divine outside of me: evil resides in me as the ego; the divine lives in me as love. The greatness of Dada was that he always overlooked the weaknesses in us and focused his attention only on our goodness. I wish I could be like Dada and see only the divine in others—and in myself.

Last updated on 14^th July 2025

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And yet, I once shared an inspiring idea I had with a few former colleagues and in response heard a muffled laughter and a mocking tone. Have you too felt excited about some brilliant idea and felt on top of the world, till you shared it with someone and they punctured all your enthusiasm? I bet you have!

Over the years, I have learned that sharing ideas right away is not always a great idea, especially when the inspiration has come from within. And no, it’s not because you fear that others might steal your idea.

There are two key reasons why you should wait before you share an inspiring idea with someone.

Two reasons why sharing ideas prematurely backfires

1. Shifts your focus

Telling others, I have noticed, shifts my focus on to other and what they think about my idea. Depending on whom I tell, I have faced varied reactions to my ideas—encouragement, polite disbelief, extreme cynicism, sometimes even ridicule. And this is where I lose the plot. The moment I share, my ego gets involved in trying to convince the other person about the validity of my thoughts. Soon, doubts begin to creep in, even as the listener’s perspectives are projected onto mine and I am not sure of my own idea anymore.

2. Dissipates energy

Another disadvantage of sharing an idea too early is energy dissipation. A new idea is always accompanied by a surge of energy. I have learned that this energy needs to be preserved and utilised to cook the idea for a while before serving it to the world. By letting it out too early, the energy gets scattered, even if the listener is encouraging. To sustain the effervescence of a new idea, you need to keep it bottled up until you develop deep and abiding conviction in it.

Treat your idea like a baby

A new inspiring thought or idea is akin to a newborn baby—it is tremendously vulnerable and requires utmost care and attention. A newborn needs to be protected, not just from wicked people but from well-wishers too. Likewise, an idea needs to be protected from others, until it has the strength to withstand judgment, opposition and criticism.

Now you know why the wise ones advise us to keep quiet and maintain secrecy about our personal goals and aspirations, especially in the beginning. Now, when a new idea germinates in my consciousness, I resist the temptation of immediately announcing it to the world even as the wiser part of me whispers in my ears: “Keep your mouth shut.”

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How wrong I was! How petty my outlook! How narrow my vision!

It’s the intent that really matters

Although being a square peg in a square hole is a necessary condition for happiness, by no means is it sufficient. Doing what I love as a profession certainly made effort less painful and more enjoyable, but there was a sense of emptiness and restlessness—a feeling of struggle. It felt as if I was rowing my boat against an invisible tide or walking uphill with a heavy load, all alone. No doubt passion for my work provided me with the energy to keep moving—but still, the whole effort somehow seemed wasteful and avoidable. There must be a better way, I told myself.

Then I discovered that the problem lay in my intent. I noticed that when I was involved in a selfless act, everything came to me easily, as if under grace. On the other hand, when I did what I loved doing only towards the fulfilment of my own needs—financial or otherwise—I was bound to feel incomplete and discontent.

Personal success is not equal to contentment

I am an intrinsic part of the environment I live in—its people, its animals, its resources—everything. When I am focussed on achieving my greatest potential without regard to my world, I may work hard and do whatever it takes, but my end goal is individual, personal. In the past I followed my dreams and goals because I was raised to subscribe to the capitalistic view of the world, which says that individuals need to think for themselves and maximise their own wellbeing.

But when has the part ever been more well than the whole?

No matter how it appears, I can never truly prosper and feel well when all I think about is myself. I may succeed in accumulating wealth and finding fame but authentic happiness will evade me, peace of mind will remain a dream, and life will always seem like struggle. Being self-centred, I may reach great heights of success and take pride in my achievement but it will lack the contentment that comes when I join forces with the greater intelligence that makes the sun rise, the flowers bloom and the earth spin on its axis.

Moving away from personal fulfilment and glory

“I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.”
— Rabindranath Tagore

That is why I have this longing to let go of my quest for personal success and instead focus on serving others, be useful to the environment of which I am an inseparable part. Of course I can continue to do what I love doing, but the intent now is not personal fulfilment and glory but the betterment of my world. I believe that doing so lets me flow with the tide because I am now involved in cooperating with the collective intent of greater good.

Success takes on a fresh new flavour when you do what you love doing in service of your fellow beings and the planet. I am born with many gifts and I have realised that I find my bliss in giving them away. What I receive in return is invaluable: the support of the whole Universe.

 
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This kind of hedonistic pursuit of pleasure under the garb of spirituality is a worldwide phenomenon that has brought millions into its fold. There are countless “gurus”, masters, experts and so on who promote this kind of acquisitive spirituality through their discourses, workshops, retreats and books. For practitioners of this faux spirituality, enlightenment is a lofty idea that promises the beneficiary great insights, esoteric power and even otherworldly gains, besides all the material goodies.

Mindless and transactional

I must confess that, for a brief time in my life, I too was drawn towards this “egocentric spirituality”. So I understand why so many fall for its lure. I guess it happens because we are incessantly surrounded by conflicting messages of a decadent culture that is infected with the what’s-in-it-for-me virus. This nearly all-pervasive consumerist culture, fuelled by ever-growing tentacles of the internet, reduces everything to a means to a selfish end. It’s automatic, mindless—no wonder it colours most of our pursuits.

But something about this ethos never felt right to me. It is pretentious, phoney.

Being spiritual in order to gain something—whether it’s a material object, someone’s love and affection, a professional achievement or simply an emotional reward—seems to me to be rather transactional. It is the antithesis of what authentic spirituality is all about. I wonder how different is this paradigm of spirituality than the traditional god of religion who is viewed simply as a personal wish-granter—never mind that we give this spiritual god secular names like the “universe” or “consciousness”?

In his book Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism Chögyam Trungpa, the controversial Tibetan monk and teacher, explains this phenomenon thus: “Walking the spiritual path properly is a very subtle process; it is not something to jump into naively. There are numerous sidetracks which lead to a distorted, ego-centered version of spirituality; we can deceive ourselves into thinking we are developing spiritually when instead we are strengthening our egocentricity through spiritual techniques.”

To be sure, there are often many worldly benefits that may accompany a spiritual pursuit and there’s nothing wrong with enjoying those benefits. What’s disconcerting is when the primary reason for walking the “spiritual” path is for material ends. This is akin to putting the cart before the horse.

How I see authentic spirituality

As I understand it, authentic spirituality has nothing to do with the outer world. It isn’t practised for personal gains; on the contrary it is about losing the false sense of identity that we acquire due to years of programming. Authentic spirituality is about living with greater awareness of self and the world. The true spiritual path is not a “search” in the conventional sense of the word, because there’s nothing [and no one] to find. Instead, it has to do with learning to see reality as it is, and to recognise the truth beyond all concepts.

The thing about authentic spirituality is that I can continue to interact with the world and pursue material goals simultaneously. There is no conflict. The process of discovering who I am is an inner phenomenon. Worldly gains may flow in as a result of such self-inquiry. But all these benefits can be called the happy side-effects of spirituality.

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We are always trying to find the limits of everything. We haven’t even spared the Universe, making all kinds of speculations about when and how it began as well as when and how it will end. Scientists have propounded theories such as the Big Bang phenomenon which is an attempt to explain how all that is came into existence in one grand instant, then began expanding in all directions, and continues to expand even as you read this. Then, we also wonder whether this Universe will continue to expand forever or will it stop at some point in the future.

These questions suggest that we are unable to accept the idea of timelessness. We cannot imagine something that has no beginning and no end. Our own physical existence is finite and time-bound. Death is an eventuality that reminds us repeatedly about our limited time here. Consequently, we run and chase and go after things and people and experiences. We try hard to accumulate and own as much as we can before our time runs out, never realising that when death comes, nothing will matter.

Empty preoccupations?

No one can be certain about what’s beyond our physical existence, which we call death. Likewise with our birth—we don’t know where we were before we were born. Did we even exist? No one knows for sure where do we come from and where do we go. Do we simply appear one day and disappear another day? Is there a soul that outlasts the body, that existed before birth and will continue after death? These questions are futile because there can’t be “answers” to them. Instead, what we do have are a whole lot of speculations and conjectures that pose as answers.

Of course, there are theories in many ancient scriptures that attempt to explain the cycle of birth and death—some of them seem plausible too. But, without actual direct subjective experience, these theories are nothing more than beliefs. Since experience can’t be objective, it can’t be observed in a lab or transferred as knowledge. Thus, the mystery of life, of sentience and consciousness, seems fool-proof. We can’t solve it until we get there—that is, if there is some place to go, and if there’s something to know.

And yet, our preoccupation with beginnings and endings, with the mysteries of birth and death, takes us away from the only reality there is—the present moment. Life is only available now. We think, we remember, we imagine, we plan—but all of that happens when we are absent to the now. We are lost in contemplations and concerns of the world, losing the most important treasure of life: our awareness, which is eternal.

Not endless time

But timelessness does not mean “forever”; it does not mean endless time. It means no time. And we can only access eternity when we are absolutely present, free from thinking, just being. Only when we are free from time and free from all mental abstractions, can we perceive reality as it is.

We have all had glimpses into such eternity or timelessness on occasions when we accidentally slip into the no-thought zone of pure awareness—a phenomenon that cannot be described by words or understood by thought. Indeed, even trying to explain it relies on thought and memory, which is why it is impossible.

The most that I can say about my visits to the timeless fields is that you feel fully awake, your senses are heightened and everything around you comes fully alive, as if for the first time. Life takes on a completely different texture—rich, vibrant, glorious.

This richness, which is not a feeling or a thought but simply an awareness, lasts for as long as one remains free from time, and from incessant thinking. Then, when time and thoughts return, so do the chaos and speculations.

But the glimpse does one really important thing—it dissolves the need for pointless preoccupations such as the origins and the fate of the Universe.

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But acceptance is often misinterpreted as being synonymous with inaction. Far from it, acceptance really means making peace with my circumstances, instead of using them as an excuse for stagnancy or failure.

Once I make peace, I stop blaming my luck, my parents, the government, the economy, or anything else for my challenges and difficulties. I take my struggles in stride and train my spotlight on what I can do about them now. I become for what I want instead of against what I don’t want.

What’s the difference, you ask.

The difference is that when I’m against something, I try to fight that instead of working towards what I desire. I practise the absence of what I want instead of being present to what I can do about it. The simple act of refocussing my attention releases enormous energy—the energy to drive my emotional engine to change myself and my circumstances. Then any action that emanates from it is positive.

Keep your attention on the present moment

You may think that by refocussing I’m only indulging in some form of mental acrobatics and may doubt the efficacy of this. You may even feel tempted to equate this with mere positive thinking. But ‘being for’ is more than that. It’s a decision to live in the present moment, instead of denying it. Whatever my goal—conquering a self-defeating habit, bringing more happiness into my relationships, or achieving greater professional success—this attitude of acceptance lets me enjoy my Now, which in turn creates a more joyful future, moment to moment.

Ekhart Tolle explains beautifully:

If you set yourself a goal and work towards it, you are using clock time. You are aware of where you want to go, but you honour and give your fullest attention to the step that you are taking at this moment. If you then become excessively focussed on the goal, perhaps because you are seeking happiness, fulfilment, or a more complete sense of self in it, the Now is no longer honoured. It becomes reduced to a mere stepping-stone to the future, with no intrinsic value. Clock time then turns into psychological time. Your life’s journey is no longer an adventure, just an obsessive need to arrive, to attain, to ‘make it’.

So, my attention is my real currency; when it is in the Now, my life is rich and I live like a king. If I spend it anywhere other than in the present moment, I end up buying suffering. That’s a poor bargain, you will agree.

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Waiting for Success

This is what happens when we chase success the way our modern society defines it. Such success is always relative. The “other” is necessary for me to feel successful. If I want to go ahead, there must be those who I leave behind. And the other too is trying to do the same.

Of course I pay a heavy price for such success. I gain money, fame, power and the contraptions that symbolise success but lose a lot more in the bargain—I  lose my health, my relationships, my peace of mind, my awareness and appreciation of nature, my ability to relax and allow life to unfold, my wonder and awe… all my real wealth. In fact, I would say I lose my very life because when I seek something, I end up always waiting to live, instead of living now. It’s a very big price for something so ephemeral.

A Different Kind of Neurosis

But wait a minute! My ego doesn’t think so. It is very pleased with all the possessions and acquisitions, and the sense of pride and identity it derives from them. It doesn’t matter that inside I feel like a failure because I have gained this success and yet lost the ability to enjoy it—like my friend Abhishek! If this is not neurosis, what is?

To different degrees and in different ways, we are all afflicted by the same neurosis. My friend is a mirror of my own desire; mine is not about achieving more but about making a greater positive impact on the world. Outwardly it seems like a noble intention but make no mistake—it’s just another form of neurosis, different in degree perhaps, but similar in its emphasis on “doing” and living in the future.

I can see that my conviction that some day I will finally arrive, feel truly successful and happy is an illusion, albeit a compelling one. Isn’t it absurd that even though I have no guarantee that tomorrow will come, I sacrifice my today in the hope that I will be happier when it comes?

Real Success Isn’t Pursued

I also understand that unless I change how I define success and what it means to me, my pursuit will never end. I will keep chasing and wanting and doing more—never realising that true success cannot come in the future because the future doesn’t exist, except in my imagination.

So what is true success? A wiser dimension of me whispers that it is the ability to be fully alive now. And it means to be aware of being alive. This is the awareness I need to keep coming back to, each time my neurosis threatens to take my life away from me. This is the anchor I need each time my attention moves away from living now to ‘waiting to live’.

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But I have observed that sometimes life gives you rotten lemons so that all you can do is discard them. What do you do then?

All my life, I have been told by well meaning others that when things go wrong, the one thing that I should not let go of is hope; cling to it for dear life, because letting go of hope means giving up.

No one ever told me that sometimes there’s no scope of doing that. Yet there are times when life corners you in such a way that you have no room for escape.

I have come to realise that these times, when absolutely nothing is going right in your life and the world seems like a hostile place, when there’s simply no way out and you’re filled with feelings of hopelessness, that’s when the greatest opportunity for growth arises.

The Paradox of Hope

The exquisite paradox of life is that when I have nothing left, when I surrender and become open to total annihilation, that’s when, for the first time, I begin to live freely. Only when I lose everything, do I gain life. The irony is that once I accept total destruction, I stare at infinite possibilities. Then, suddenly, a different kind of peace descends and it dawns on me that only in total insecurity lies the opportunity to discover such peace.

This happens because, when there’s nothing more to lose, when nothing more is left in me to be destroyed, or taken away, I can relax—now there’s nothing to protect. No hopes to keep my attention fixed on some possibility in the future. When there’s nothing to look forward to, my attention comes back to where it belongs—on the present moment—and I begin to live and experience life as it is rather than trying to mould it according to my personal hopes and desires.

The Wisdom of No Escape

Pema Chödrön, Buddhist teacher and best-selling author of The Wisdom of No Escape explains, “When we commit ourselves to staying right where we are, then our experiences become very vivid. Things become very clear when there is nowhere to escape.”

When there’s no escape possible, when not even a ray of hope can be seen, then—and only then—can I accept darkness, and even befriend it. When I accept darkness, I begin to develop the ability to see in the dark. What’s more, all my other dormant senses come alive too.

But hope and acceptance don’t go together. Hope is a crutch. Only when I’m totally free of hope, when the ground beneath me disappears, can I learn to fly. That’s why I say, there is value in your feelings of hopelessness.

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