Self-doubt makes you opt for misery even when joy is available to you. It fills you with emptiness when fulfillment is your birthright. And it fools you into favouring bondage over freedom. And Dr Davis can say this with authority because he’s been there, done that.

Overcoming self-doubt

In a moment of brutal honesty, this ex-convict made a difficult but pro-life choice of going back to study after leaving prison for the second time. It was during his college that he had a transformational realisation that made him begin to believe in his abilities for the first time. That was the turning point. “In 2006 only seven years after I walked off the yards at Corcoran state prison, I walked across the stage, and I was conferred my doctorate in clinical psychology,” he says in this talk at the Sacramento edition of TEDx.

Like Davis, you too can learn to overcome your self-doubt. Watch this hard-hitting talk presented in a gentle manner by a man who will make you believe in yourself.

About B J Davis

Dr. Davis is the Director of Strategies for Change, a substance abuse and mental health treatment agency. He is also the author of the movie “What is Recovery?”

In addition to his doctorate, Davis has a dual BA in philosophy and religion, and masters’ degrees in psychology and counseling. Aside from working at Strategies, he is a Professor in the Forensic and Clinical Psychology Doctoral Program and consultant to the Sacramento Aids Housing Alliance. It is his history that allows Dr. Davis to speak with authority. A recovering drug addict, Davis spent time in State and Federal prisons, until he found people who believed in him, then a reason to believe in himself. Rather than drugs he depended on praise, and used that to become a director, a doctor, and a mentor. He now uses his unique background in addiction, recovery, and counselling to encourage others to believe in themselves.

The post A former felon tells you how to overcome self-doubt appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Despite his enormous health challenges, Sean has not only survived but thrived, becoming an inspiration to millions of people around the world including Sir Richard Branson, President Clinton, and his Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama.

A board certified therapist, Sean uses humour and compassion to develop a fun environment where individuals open their hearts and minds for lasting empowerment to occur.

This highly entertaining yet powerful talk was given to inmates of the Ironwood State Prison. “I have a belief that has served me in my life, and that is that everyone is rooting for me to win—even those who do not know it,” he says as he shares three lessons that is sure to inspire you to transform your life in wonderful ways.

More about the speaker

Sean Clinch Stephenson is an American therapist, self-help author and motivational speaker. Because he was born with Osteogenesis Imperfecta, Stephenson stands three feet tall, has fragile bones, and uses a wheelchair.

Sean has appeared on everything from The Oprah Show to online videos with hundreds of millions of views. The Biography Channel did an hour feature on his life called Three Foot Giant. His message has been heard at live events in over 16 countries and 48 states in the past 23 years. Sean’s latest book, Get Off Your But, has swept the US and been released in almost a dozen languages around the world.

The post If this doesn’t inspire you, nothing will! appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Soon after that dreadful night, Tom completed his exchange programme and went back to Australia, leaving behind a physically and emotionally bruised girl who spent the next several years trying to cope with the effects of that chilling night, suffering in silence.

Nine years later, Thordis decided to put an end to her ordeal once and for all. Watch this TED video to find out how she did it.

Please share the video if you think more people need to watch it.

The post This inspiring video will change the way you think about rape appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Lisa Cox

1 of 5

I had a modest, suburban upbringing in Australia. My mum, dad, sister, brother and I lived together until I graduated from university and moved away to work. I loved my new corporate job but desperately missed my old life with family and friends.

10 years ago, some really bad luck changed everything. I was 24 when a rare virus attacked my body and caused a brain haemorrhage. I spent the next year in hospital having over a dozen operations including the amputation of my left leg, all of my remaining toes and nine fingertips. In the coming years, I returned for more operations including a total hip replacement and open heart surgery.

Sure, I have lost a lot but I’ve never lost the love and support of my amazing family. Some of my former friends stopped coming by because they couldn’t handle what happened to me then and my subsequent disabilities. But the friendships I have now are stronger and genuine.

An accident that changed everything

For about two months, my family camped in the hospital while I was in a coma, on life support. Every cell in my body died; my family were told that they might have to turn off my life support.

It was traumatic for my family but they supported each other. As each new day dawned, they were grateful for the beeping sounds that came from the machines keeping me alive.

After coming out of the coma, I couldn’t do anything for myself. It was overwhelmingly frustrating, especially considering I had been so independent in the past. However, having my family and friends there made it easier. Their commitment to my wellbeing was unwavering and for that I am forever grateful. Here are just a few examples of the things they did to help me heal.

As each new day dawned, they were grateful for the beeping sounds that came from the machines keeping me alive

Re-training myself

I was fed through a tube for the first six months but eventually I learnt to eat ‘normal’ food again. However, it was many more months before I could use my hands, so my family would take turns feeding me, like an infant, until I could handle cutlery.

Their support didn’t end at meal times. During the day, dad would read books to me and take me outside in my wheelchair to see the sunshine.

After a full day at her demanding job, my sister would come up to the hospital in the evenings and sit with me while we watched one of my favourite shows.

It was approximately one year before I could pull my hair back in a ponytail after my fingertips were amputated, so my sister always did that for me too.

It’s the little things in life

The examples I’ve mentioned above may seem ‘small’ but that’s just the point I want to emphasise. If you’re helping someone through a difficult time (regardless of whether or not they are in hospital), you needn’t feel compelled to make overtly grandiose gestures of support. For me, it was all the little things that had the biggest impact (like Mum’s home cooking!). I had countless hours of physical rehabilitation with medical professionals. However, my mental wellbeing was well looked after by my loved ones.

Connection with family and friends is an integral part of wellbeing. You needn’t have a ‘perfect’ family unit [nobody does!] to reap the benefits of love and support that family and friends provide.

During the day, dad would read books to me and take me outside in my wheelchair to see the sunshine

If you’re helping someone through a tough time, here are some other things to consider.

• Be their cheerleader! My family always encouraged me to push myself and challenge the bleak outlook of medical professionals. Together, we celebrated the smallest accomplishments, like brushing my own teeth for the first time.
• Help them see the positives in a bad situation. In the hospital, I frequently received bad news about my health. My family helped me smile and see the lighter side of serious times.
• Walk the talk. If you want your loved one to be positive, you need to set the tone and do that yourself. My family and friends did their best to be positive around me and it helped lift my spirits, keeping me optimistic.

My life today

A couple of years ago, I married my best friend. It was a small ceremony attended by our closest family and friends.

Because I can take a few steps with assistance, I was determined to walk down the aisle. With my mum and dad each holding my arms for support, I shuffled and stumbled down the aisle towards my handsome groom. It was such a special and symbolic moment for me to share with my parents as they had supported me through so much in the past.

Since then my family has grown to include my husband’s relatives, some of who are Indian. Each year we all come together for Diwali and celebrate our blessings with family and friends.

There are many things that I was told I’d never do again; writing was one of them. But the continued support of my loved ones has helped me climb many a metaphorical mountain and pursue my passion for writing, including two books and now this article!

Indeed, the marvels of modern medicine kept my body alive while my family and friends kept my spirit alive—and still do today.

The post Modern medicine kept my body alive; family and friends kept my spirit alive appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Watch it. It’s a wonderful and moving talk; the experiences she shares are remarkable. Becki shares many stories which, with her style of narrating, is a joy to watch.

At 1:01, she discusses issues faced by family members of a terminally ill or dying patient. Not every member of the family can be there by the bedside, she says. Some people are just not able to get themselves to be there. Either the needles and tubes make them nervous or just the fact that it’s time to say good-bye.

Becki suggests that in such situations families should not point fingers and send the other person on a guilt-trip saying, “You were not there when s/he wanted to see you.” She adds,”It’s not your job to see what the others are doing, it’s only your job to see what you are doing”. In such a case, instead of comparing and complaining, it is better to engage these people with other errands that need attending to, so that they too feel like they are contributing and it helps to share the load. See how they can contribute and put them to use. Don’t push them away.

The post Hospice nurse shares 30 years of experience with the dying appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

I didn’t quit cold turkey; it was a gradual transition that started in an Environmental Studies course during my senior year at NYU. A classmate of mine would pull out a plastic bag filled with a plastic box of food, plastic utensils, a plastic bag of chips and a drink—you guessed it—in a plastic bottle. I’d watch her, class after class, throw it all into the garbage and I would get really upset.

One night I was feeling particularly frustrated after watching her and went home to make dinner. I opened my fridge only to realise that every single thing that I had in there was packaged in plastic. Oops!

There I was, an Environmental Studies student, constantly talking about how much I loved sustainability, getting upset at this girl that was plastic-ing everything, and it turned out I was that girl too! I felt like an absolute hypocrite. So I made the decision to quit using plastic.

Parting with plastic didn’t just mean eliminating plastic food packaging from my life; it meant evaluating all of the things that I used that were conventionally packaged in plastic and finding alternatives to them. When I couldn’t find products like toothpaste in plastic-free or recyclable packaging, I started to research recipes to make them myself.

While researching alternatives to my everyday products, I came across a blog called Zero Waste Home that was started by Bea Johnson, a woman with two kids, a husband and zero trash. I was amazed. I thought, if a family of four can live without trash, I can too. So I took a leap and committed to going ‘Zero Waste’.

When I couldn’t find products like toothpaste in plastic-free or recyclable packaging, I started to research recipes to make them myself

How did I do this?

Instead of buying packaged food, I began to shop in bulk. As opposed to buying beauty, cleaning and home products, I had to learn to make them myself. This proved to be a bit of a challenge as I definitely didn’t have a recipe for deodorant hanging about in my back pocket. I had to mess around with over six different deodorant recipes before I found one that worked well for me. In fact, I didn’t have any of the recipes I needed for any of the products I used. But that presented a fun challenge and I began to think about it as a game. Yesterday I transitioned away from toothpaste tubes, today I’m going to learn how to make my own lotion! Every new product that I learned to make was a step towards my Zero Waste goal and it was extremely exciting.

Ultimately I went from a girl that was constantly talking about how much she cared about sustainability, to one that actually lives that way.

Over the past few years I have learned some great ideas that even others can take to lessen their daily trash output.

STEP 1 » Evaluate your trash

When I first started my transition towards becoming Zero Waste, I took a peek into my trash can and understood what was in there. For me, it was predominantly food packaging and food waste and so I thought about ways to eliminate them.

To get rid of food packaging, I began buying my food unpackaged from the farmers market and my local grocery store. Instead of buying, say, baby carrots that came in a plastic bag, I bought whole carrots, which came without any packaging. I also learned to bring jars and cotton bags to buy bulk items like grains and beans.

To eliminate food waste, I began composting. I would take my food scraps, put them in a bowl and place it in my freezer so they did not smell in my fridge. I would then take them to my local compost drop off at the farmers’ market every Saturday.

STEP 2 » The low hanging fruit

This step covers the more superficial but high-impact steps that one can take towards lessening their trash output. What you have to do is:

• Carry reusable bags to the store as opposed to taking plastic or paper bags
• Use a reusable water bottle instead of plastic water bottles
• Bring a mason [jam-sized] jar or reusable mug to the coffee shop as opposed to using a disposable cup
• Say NO to disposable plastic straws at bars, coffee shops, or juice shops and use a metal, glass or bamboo straw
• Pack your own lunch in reusable containers and eat it with real silverware as opposed to disposable plastic forks and spoons.

STEP 3 » Do it yourself

Lots of everyday products come packaged in non-recyclable or difficult-to-recycle packaging. Instead of trying to buy products and figure out if they are being recycled properly, I learned how to make them myself. I started out with something that was simple and easy like toothpaste. I then moved on to products like deodorant, moisturiser and even cleaning products.

Becoming Zero Waste is not something you can do in a day, but decreasing the amount of trash you produce is something that can happen right now with a few simple steps. You might even find that you save money, have more time in your day and feel great!

The post Here’s how you live a trash-free life appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

My foray into gambling

Gambling started out as a fun social activity for me. Then I started going alone. Eventually my whole world revolved around it. I was either gambling, attempting to clean up the financial crisis that I had created, or planning ways to get back out there. I thought of little else.

I vaguely recall one Christmas morning when my two precious boys were opening their Christmas gifts. Instead of sharing in their excitement, I was watching the clock, wondering when it would be reasonable to mention going to the casino. It had become a tradition, on any holiday, for a group of us to go to the casino leaving the children with a family member who would stay behind. I’m certain that I promoted, if not started that tradition.

In time, I had spent all of our savings and we were in quite a bit of debt due to my gambling. My husband had no idea because I handled the finances for our family, and he trusted me completely.

Gambling started out as a fun social activity for me. Then I started going alone. Eventually my whole world revolved around it

An amalgamation of emotions

I lived in constant fear that he might open a bank or credit card statement and discover what I’d done. I began to realise that I would not be able to fix it and that I would not be able to hide it forever.

I could not imagine what life would be like if he found out what I’d done. Surely he would leave me and take custody of my children. Even knowing this, I could not stop. I didn’t really want to stop gambling. I just wanted all of the problems associated with it to go away.

As much as I couldn’t imagine what my life would be like without my family, I also could not fathom a life without gambling. I needed to be doing it almost constantly.

I was at a crossroads of desires. I wanted my family and I wanted to stop gambling and I wanted to die… but I also wanted to live and to keep gambling. I felt like I needed help and wished there was a place to rehab from gambling.

I wasn’t ingesting anything, but I could feel withdrawal symptoms if I didn’t gamble. Behaviours are known to affect brain chemistry. I now know that there is mounting evidence that gambling is very similar to drug addiction but even without scientific evidence, there would be no doubt in my mind that I was ‘addicted’. I have memories that, if they’d been recorded on video, an observer would be certain that I was ‘on something’.

I didn’t really want to stop gambling. I just wanted all of the problems associated with it to go away

In time my husband discovered our financial situation and what I’d done. I was so ashamed and remorseful. He was hurt, angry and confused but… he wanted to work things out.

The hard road back home

I started working with a therapist, took medication for depression and began attending meetings at Gamblers Anonymous. It was difficult. My husband travelled a lot for business and I had a household to run while he was away. I surrendered all access to money or credit cards, but we decided that when he would travel he would give me cash to purchase groceries or other things we’d need while he was away.

The first time this happened, I had gambled every dollar before his plane landed at his destination. I borrowed money from a friend so that he’d never know but I told him, when he returned, that we had to find a different way.

It turned out that I was ‘safer’ if I had a debit card. He was able to see every transaction that I made online. If it was necessary for me to have cash for some reason, I always provided a receipt. I only carried a small amount of cash. At first that seemed safe because my gambling had reached the point where it was ridiculous to drive to the casino with less than a few hundred dollars. It wasn’t safe.

I now know that there is mounting evidence that gambling is very similar to drug addiction

Anytime I ‘slipped’, I’d make a new rule, in an attempt to block myself from gambling the next time. When my whole world revolved around gambling, I could not put rules into place for myself. I didn’t want to stop. But as I gambled less, I was more able to do things that would help me stop.

I found online support groups and in the end, that is what helped me the most.

I realised that I wasn’t bad or stupid. This started out very innocently. There was a very strong physical phenomenon happening to me. So it wasn’t my fault. But if I wanted to live my life [I wasn’t ‘living’ when I was caught up in the gambling cycle]… I was going to have to change it. I needed help, and ultimately I was the one who had to do it. So I did. I learned a lot from others who had successfully stopped.

I let go of the shame and decided that if I focus on just doing the next right thing, right now… I couldn’t gamble. For months I called my sister-in-law every evening… just a five-second call to say “Day 2” or “Day 24”. If I act responsibly with my money, I cannot gamble. If I do not lie, I cannot gamble. If I am being vigilant with my time, I cannot gamble. Gambling is never the next right thing.

I hesitate to say that there were periods of time that it was just impossible for me to stop. I hesitate because those are the kinds of things that I used as justification to continue gambling. Gamblers Anonymous told me that I had an illness. I construed that to mean “I can’t help it”… so I continued on.

When my whole world revolved around gambling, I could not put rules into place for myself

It was my responsibility

I knew it isn’t my fault but it does not mean it isn’t my responsibility. Occasionally, this thing happens… where you can clearly see what must be done, and it’s evident that what your addiction gives you isn’t worth what your addiction takes from you, and you think, that maybe… just maybe… it might be possible to do this. And maybe you do abstain from gambling [or any other addiction for that matter] for some period of time. But the illness/condition inevitably returns.

Unless… when you get that moment of clarity and strength [and perhaps most importantly, hope] you decide that you are going to hold on to it and do what it takes to keep it.

Ask someone you trust to handle your money. Install software on your computer or phone that won’t let you access gambling sites. Think of how you gamble and find ways to prevent it, so that when you don’t have the strength to stop, you won’t have access anyway.

It’s not easy. It’s not fun. But it’s worth it. You deserve to live your best life.

The post How I recovered from my stubborn addiction to gambling appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Parasomnia is a disorder characterised by unusual behaviour of the nervous system during sleep. Although it affects millions around the world, there is a stark difference between others and me. While most people perform normal day-to-day tasks in their sleep, I produce art.

You might think that there is nothing unusual about that. Except for the fact that what I produce when I am asleep, I cannot produce in my waking life. Yes, I have never been interested in art and have tried on many occasions to replicate some of my own works but have failed miserably. Some people call it a gift; others say it is a scam.

From scribbles to works of art

I remember most of my childhood as being pleasant and cheerful, and unlike most people I felt in touch with the spiritual side of life. My night-time habit would normally start with me getting out of bed after falling asleep and searching my bedroom looking for my school crayons or pencils. I would then start drawing on the walls of my bedroom or in my school books. In the beginning, my drawings were nothing but scribbles and circles with no real theme or meaning attached to them. This went on for years. But when I reached my teenage years, I started to produce more than just unfathomable doodles—I began to draw what most people now classify as art.

One morning I woke up at a friend’s house and discovered that I had drawn four life-size portraits of the late icon Marilyn Monroe the night before. While everybody else was in shock, I was rather amused at what I had done because up till then all my “work” was just random scribbles. From that moment onwards I have produced hundreds of different pieces of art and continue to do so.

The turning point

It was back in 2006 that my life took a sharp turn. I was trying to raise money for a small cancer hospice in North Wales and decided to exhibit a few of my drawings at my local library. It was a small turnout but nevertheless people enjoyed the evening. A few days later, the local newspaper ran a small story on the event. Following that, I received a call from a TV company from South Korea that was interested to come over to film my art. At first I thought it was a hoax but then I decided to meet them at my parents’ house. True to their word, they turned up and shot for a few hours. In return, I asked them for a donation to the hospice for my time, and they were happy to oblige.

Barely a week had gone by when I received another call, this time from The Sun, one of the leading newspapers in the world. They informed me that they were planning to telecast my story the following day. The next day I received about 80 calls from different media outlets, from TV, news channels magazines to radio stations from all around the world. And that was the moment my life changed for the better.

I went straight down to London to be signed by a management team who looked after some great TV personalities in the UK. They managed to get a few TV companies to do several documentaries on my life, which was great.

Dealing with sceptics

After the sudden success, I went through a period of emotional turmoil as I was accused of being a fraud and a scamster. It felt particularly hurtful given the line of work I was in at the time—of caring for people with terminal illnesses. But in the following years, I quietened most of the sceptics. I underwent a battery of tests at the renowned Edinburgh Sleep Clinic and was also tested by scientists in Japan. They are still baffled about my ability to produce art while asleep even though I can’t create anything when I am awake. Luckily for me, I have my old school reports from primary and secondary school to prove that the highest grade I ever got in art was a “D”!

The art world, however, is a fickle place to be in. Many art critics believe that I am not a real artist but most of the general public believes that I am, and that is what counts in the end. The sad trend in the art field is that most art critics appreciate only the so called “political art” or art with a message. Maybe my art has both?

Continuing my journey

I recently appointed a new manager Kevin Zuchowski-Morrison, owner of London Rise Gallery, a renowned gallery in Croydon, England. Kevin has supported me over the last year and has opened up many doors within the art world. I had my first UK exhibition at his gallery earlier this year which turned out to be a roaring success with a large number of media representatives present. I have also exhibited overseas and was in Hong Kong last year for a few weeks displaying my art for a special promotion on Sleep!

I now put all my energy into my art and help different charities here in England and overseas as well. I believe that no matter what you do in life, if you have enough to give something back to the universe and do your bit to make the world a better place, then you’re privileged.

This article first appeared in the December 2015 issue of Complete Wellbeing.

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]]> https://completewellbeing.com/article/artist-creates-art-fast-asleep/feed/ 0 https://completewellbeing.com/article/victims-make-excuses-leaders-deliver-results-robin-sharma/ https://completewellbeing.com/article/victims-make-excuses-leaders-deliver-results-robin-sharma/#comments Tue, 12 Jan 2016 07:40:20 +0000 http://completewellbeing.com/?p=17786 He’s been changing the lives of people across the world with his powerful books. In an insightful interview to Complete Wellbeing, Robin Sharma shares his transformational ideas on life, leadership and living purposefully

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There is a certain aura that surrounds him. You cannot escape his piercing eyes, his glowing face, his energetic demeanour and his 1000 watt smile. His responses are spontaneous and unpretentious and yet there’s a charm about him that makes him endearing. Meet Robin Sharma, the man who lives on his own terms, and shows you how you too can do the same…

Manoj khatri: Let’s start with The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari. What inspired you to write such a book? Just like the protagonist, you too were a practising lawyer. So it seems to be an autobiographical account… are you the monk?

Robin Sharma: Yes, a lot of Julian Mantle’s story is my story. So you’re right. I was a litigation lawyer by profession. The challenge I faced was that I was living someone else’s life. I was living the life that society had sold me on the true meaning of success. I was well educated, I had a lovely office, I had two law degrees… and yet when I’d wake up in the morning, I’d feel completely empty and frustrated and disconnected with my purpose and my true values. So yes, Julian Mantle is me in many ways. Thankfully, I didn’t have a heart attack. But I went on my own odyssey and started searching—I wanted to understand what are the tools and what a life well lived is all about. And I made a profound transformation with what I learnt… about rewiring your mindset, rewiring your values and rewiring your behaviours. That’s what inspired me to write The Monk…

And it started as nothing more than a dream, I was laughed at. I think if you’re not being laughed at a lot, you’re not doing very much. I had a vision, and all I had going for me was my instinct, my gut. And I knew that people will be inspired by this book, they will connect with it and it will help transform them and help them become what they want to be. So I just went out there, step-by-step, sharing the message of the book with one person at a time. Soon the book started travelling around the world through word-of-mouth and it became what it is now.

Manoj khatri: Where did you learn the ‘rewiring’ part?

Robin Sharma: Well, you can say that I’m the product of every book I’ve ever read, every conversation I’ve ever had and every place I’ve ever been to. So everything has been my teacher. Suffering has been my teacher. Success has been my teacher. My kids have been my teacher. The taxi driver in Mumbai who told me that guests are God and that’s why he treats every single person as the most important in the world… he has been my teacher. So for The Monk… I got my inspiration from books, experiences and conversations and a lot of time just spent in solitude, in self-reflection.

Manoj khatri: It’s evident that The Monk… came about as a result of a transformation within you. And so did all the success afterwards. What does success mean to you?

Robin Sharma: I think that as we go more out into the world, it becomes even more important to stay alone. So what I try to do is spend most of my time with my family, my close friends, my team, my books, my journal… and in nature with my thoughts. I don’t watch a lot of TV. I don’t spend a lot of my time in restaurants. This way I stay connected with my core values and my core mission so that it doesn’t get diluted by the world around me. I think once you’re successful, what you want to do is protect your vision, conserve your energy and safeguard your values.

Manoj khatri: You seem to be absolutely clear about your priorities in life. But that’s what most people struggle with. They know that it’s important for them to give time to their families, their friends, their health and yet they seem to always put these lower in the list of priorities… many fear that they may not be able to fulfil their role as a good parent/spouse and so on unless they work hard and long. What advice do you have for those who are faced with such a dilemma?

Robin Sharma: Well, I say this with great respect, but most people haven’t made the time to think about what they want. And let’s go to the neurobiology behind this. It’s because we have a neurobiological instinct to follow what everyone else is doing. So, hundreds of years ago, when there was a threat of leaving the herd and being eaten by a cheetah, that instinct served us. But now we’re in Mumbai, Calcutta, or Chennai and we haven’t taken the time to think of what’s most important to us. We don’t know our own priorities; we don’t know our own values; we don’t have a vision. A lot of people say to me, “I’m too busy to do my vision.” But actually their busyness is just an addiction to mask the fact that they are really bored. If you don’t know what’s important to you then you’re going to have to fill the hours with too much TV and too much busyness. So how do you to avoid that? Number one, you do something as simple as planning. Take the time to write a one-page plan and ask yourself [I talk about it in my books] what five things must happen between now and the end of this year for this to be the best year you’ve ever had in your life. I call it my ‘big five.’ Every morning you look at your big five priorities and then you commit to them.

Number two, you look at your goals. How many people set goals for each quarter of the year and then build a schedule around advancing these goals? It’s all about the execution. People say, “Well, these ideas in The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari and The Leader Who Had No Title don’t work. But no idea works unless you do the work. So you’ve got to execute. Each day you’ve got to advance your priorities versus living the priorities of the world. You’ve got to turn off the TV or say no to every social engagement. You have to find a vision that burns inside you so much that you are willing to say NO to the entertainment, in order to manifest your vision. Study any great master and you’ll find that they didn’t spend the best hours of their days in distraction; instead they spent all their time pursuing their craft and their dream.

Manoj khatri: What is the biggest challenge to pursue your dream?

Robin Sharma: I think it is to leave the herd—it is one of the biggest challenges we face. We spend the best hours of our best days following the herd around us. And we think that just because most people spend their best hours watching TV, or sending text messages, we think this is how you live a life. And just because most people complain and give away their power, we think this is how you live. Yet, all masters and all leaders have one thing in common: they have the guts to leave the herd and live their life on their own terms—without any regard to what anyone else was doing.

Manoj khatri: Talking about leadership… how do you define it? And how can a leader strike a balance between her commercial goals and the human development aspect?

Robin Sharma: No matter what you do—run a company, make films or clean toilets—you can still show leadership. The number one way we give away our power is that we think we don’t have any. How many people say: I’m not the Managing Director or I’m not the boss so I can’t make a difference. I met a woman in South Africa, who washed people’s toilets and she thought hers was the most important job in the world. And she worked like Picasso painted. A job is only a job if we choose to see it as a job. All work has dignity, all work is noble. Whether you cook, you clean toilets, sweep streets, see it as a craft and see it as honourable. Make it better everyday. Inspire people by your mastery. So my message is: no matter what you do in your own work, see it as your craft and pursue mastering it everyday—because all work is a chance to express your creativity. All work is a chance for you to meet your fears and transcend them. All work is a chance for you to inspire other human beings. Therefore all work is chance for you to change the world.

Coming to your question… you asked how should leaders align the competing objectives business goals and the human responsibility. Well, I actually think they are not competing. The job of a leader is to grow more leaders. If you’re not inspiring the people around you and helping them do their best work, you’re not leading. But here’s my point. If you spend your days in inspiring and developing talent, encouraging the discouraged, helping them do what they never thought was possible… they are going to wow their customers, they’re going to be more productive, they’re going to meet their vision, they’re going to give their heart and soul to your business. What’s that going to do to the profitability?

Manoj khatri: I have not a single doubt that this is absolutely correct. But any transformation takes time—there is a lag between when you begin to do this and when it begins to show results. How does one develop faith?

Robin Sharma: Yeah, you’ve got to have the guts to believe in yourself when no one else believes in you. India is the land of the great Mahatma Gandhi. When he started the salt march, he was an army of one. All he had going for him was his conviction. And where does that come from? Sometimes you just don’t know. You just have to have a dream for your job, a dream for your life. And have the guts to connect with that. How do you stay true to that? Well, you write about it in your journal, which actually deepens your commitment. You get up early and you pray, meditate, visualise. Read great business books and autobiographies and stay inspired and block out negativity. When the critic says, “This will never work,” dismiss the critic. And if you get knocked down because you fail, you just get back up. And the more you do that, the stronger you get. And if you start advancing towards your vision everyday, you start to get some traction. You get some momentum. Like Gandhi… everybody who started following Gandhi empowered him and his vision. Right now, when I look at the global movement around The Monk… and The Leader… on social media, I get inspired to keep going. I could retire right now. So what’s keeping me going is that I’m starting to get more traction. More than ever before, people are saying to me they are making the transformation. So, step-by-step, when you start to get the results—which you eventually will, because success is a numbers game—you start to believe in your vision.

Manoj khatri: What are the five most important things you do to stay inspired and focused on your vision?

Robin Sharma: The first thing is just an idea: I’m not a victim. I show leadership. I don’t play victim and I own the results of my life. I take absolute responsibility. I’m not a cat or a dog. Victims make excuses. Leaders deliver results. If you look for excuses you’ll find them.

If you say, “I read The monk… but I can’t do it because I’m too busy paying my mortgage,” you will get to live out that excuse for the rest of your life. So it’s an idea but the more you think about it, the more it becomes a belief. Do not be a victim, show leadership and get big things done.

Second thing I do: I live in a bubble. I don’t want to live in a real world and I don’t live in a real world. Who wants to live in a real world? Because there, most people are victims, most people are negative. In the real world, most people gossip, and spend their best hours SMSing… I live in a bubble, a pristine bubble of absolute focus around positivity and getting my dreams done. What does that mean in practice? It means that I don’t really watch the NEWS. If someone’s negative, I walk away politely; my friends are positive; my home is inspiring; I love great books; I don’t read cheesy magazines; I don’t pollute my mind with toxic thoughts or influences because those will affect my inspiration, my ideas, my focus and my results.

Number three: Ideas without execution are a delusion. I plan, I schedule every morning. I’m meticulous about where my hours go. This is not just inspiration, this is tactical. I have a one-year plan and I have a five-year plan; I look at my plan every morning and I set a weekly plan. In that way, I execute, nearly flawlessly, all my goals for every quarter. Like a great business is all about strategic plans and execution, I have dreams but dreams without plans and sequencing don’t get done. So, become a master of planning, sequencing, execution and time management. The hours that ordinary people waste, excellent performers use. People say, I’m too busy.” Well, how many hours do you spend on SMS or on your smart phone?

Number four: I learn. The world belongs to learners. You look at Picasso, Jack Welch, Richard Branson, Lady Gaga… these people are students of their crafts. So if you look at any genius, they have one thing in common: they know more about their craft more than anyone in their field in the history of the world. I spend a lot of time listening to audio books, watching videos, reading, learning.

Number five: I love to journal. Journaling is when I reconnect with my vision, my values. I record the highlights of my day, so I pour gratitude via dopamine into my brain so I feel better. How do I stay inspired? Being inspired isn’t lucky. You ‘make’ inspired. You don’t discover success, you create success. My journal allows me to record my awareness so I stay very clear on what’s important. My journal allows me to notice the miracles of my day and allows me to learn and download the benefits and miracles that each day presents.

Manoj khatri: So what’s your typical day like?

Robin Sharma: The most consistent thing that I do is that I get up at 5am and I journal. That is the most consistent thing ever. I love having a cup of coffee… you know that its nature’s number one antioxidant and it boosts brain function? And with coffee, I write. I write about my victories, my gratitude, reconnect with my goals and how I’m feeling. And I always exercise first thing in the morning to kick-start my day. And then sometimes I do some meditation, but not consistently. The only consistent thing is the journaling, the exercising, and the reading.

Manoj khatri: Finally, what is your idea about the purpose of life?

Robin Sharma: I think on the last hour of our last day, when we look back and survey our life, what would have defined our life will not be the watch on our wrist, our social standing, the title on our business card and our net worth.

I suggest only two things will matter.

Number one: Who did you become? Were you fearless? Did you achieve a level of self mastery? Did you think great thoughts? Were you positive? Did you have excellent, strong character?

Number two: How many people did you help? How many lives did you touch? What value did you create through your creativity and productivity? In other words, did you leave the world better than you found it? My dad used to recite the words of the great Indian poet, Nobel laureate Rabindranath Tagore. He said to me, “Son, when you were born you cried while the world rejoiced. Well Robin, live your life in such a way that when you die, the world cries while you rejoice.”

So purpose is about remembering that before you know it, it will all be dust. It’s time to step up and do great work that will change the world. It’s time to use your life not just for your own selfish needs but to inspire other people and to create value for other people and to build A FANTASTIC WORLD. And just because other people don’t think like this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t, if you want to become the Picasso of your life.

Manoj khatri: That’s a beautiful thought. Thank you so much Robin, for sharing your inspiring ideas with us.

Robin Sharma: Thanks for the opportunity, Manoj.

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This was first published in the April 2013 issue of Complete Wellbeing

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]]> In 2002, journalist and broadcaster Anna Parkinson was diagnosed with a brain tumor in her right cavernous sinus, next to the pituitary gland. The tumor proved inoperable and proposed diagnoses included chondrosarcoma, meningioma and chordoma. The article below shares how the writer learned from an American healer, Martin Brofman, to see her illness as the language of her consciousness. She explains how she used only meditation, visualization and healing to clear her symptoms and dissolve the tumor.

Scientific research can come up with few certainties as far as the human body is concerned. Your body is an organism of such subtlety that research seems to make causes and effects less obvious rather than more so. Recently published research by John Hopkins University showed that only a third of cancers are caused by lifestyle or inherited factors. Their controversial conclusion is that two thirds of cancers seem to be random.

So where does that leave us? While medical definitions of imbalances in both the mind and body proliferate, and pharmaceutical products to correct those imbalances are constantly being researched and produced, the body you possess is constantly defying those certainties. While I accept gratefully the modern advances in surgery and pharmacy for use in emergency, I would like to point out that you already possess the most sophisticated tool known for correcting any ailment you suffer from. That tool is your mind.

I am a professional healer as well as the author of Change Your Mind Heal Your Body. This book is the story of how I came to this understanding: that your consciousness has more power over your physical reality than anything else. You can use this consciousness to change not only your own physical reality, but that of others also. Helping to bring about this change in others is the nature of a healer’s work.

Also read » The shift that saved my life by Martin Brofman

The Shock and the Shift

I have not always thought like this. For most of my life I shared the conventional educated outlook of a British journalist. I was a producer for the BBC, able to satisfy my curiosity and concern for society by investigating its problems for current affairs documentaries. This was all fine until I had a major problem of my own.

In my mid-forties, I began suffering from severe headaches and double vision. One morning, I found myself lying on a stretcher, rigid with pain, as the ambulance I was in screamed past my daughters’ school on the way to the hospital. Over the next few years, headaches that completely disabled me recurred without warning. After each episode, I managed to recover and, quite literally, put them out of my mind. I went back to life as it had been before and ignored these signals, despite the fact that I was also experiencing double vision which I and my doctors regarded as a separate issue. So it was a profound shock when I was called to what I thought was a routine appointment at the hospital and told that I had a brain tumor, and it would have to ‘come out.’

The story of this tumor and the discoveries it ushered into my life, as well as the means and tools through which it ultimately disappeared, is the story that I tell in my book. I chose to write the story, not because I believed my illness and recovery to be unique; quite the contrary. I know many people who have used these tools to overcome illnesses considered ‘fatal’. However, I wanted to explain healing and help people understand that it is frequently a ‘process’. In my case it was a journey of eight years.

Related » The High Cost of the Rut

The Technique That Changed My Life

So what were these tools I used? I was saved from serious surgery by the experts’ confusion. My consultant told me the tumor was growing with one branch of my carotid artery wrapped around it, so he couldn’t operate or even biopsy it. I remained in a state of confusion, with the tumor and the symptoms growing, for about 18 months. This, as I look back on it now, was my first piece of luck. The doctors’ inability to act without causing me greater harm gave me time to learn to perceive and deal with the power of my own emotions. In the depths of misery and despair, I discovered a process that I call ‘old wounds meditation’, which allowed me to strip back down to childhood feelings and release them. I was astonished to discover how ‘fresh’ these feeling were when I explored the memories that contained them, but even more astonished to find how powerful the changes that came about in my life once I deliberately let these old feelings go.

The second great gift of the doctors’ confusion was that I was forced to explore alternatives, which is what led me to healing. I tried many forms of alternative treatment: diet, herbal supplements, acupuncture, reiki, among others. Most of them had at least a short-lived perceptible effect but the one that changed my life was the Body Mirror System of Healing developed by late Sir Martin Brofman.

Re-balancing Your Energy

Body Mirror System uses the energy that appears to the healer in the healee’s chakras as a code that tells the story of the person’s emotional reaction to the experiences of their life. Its power lies in the extraordinary accuracy with which your body retains your emotional decisions, sometimes showing decisions that you made in the womb, or at birth. A Body Mirror healer will re-balance your energy and feed information from your unconscious self back to you so that you can use the power of your conscious mind to make different decisions that will suit you better. This feedback puts you in charge of your healing and, where your body is concerned, there is no greater power.

The technique takes its name from the perception that the universe we perceive is a mirror of our consciousness, and our perceptions are expressed in our bodies. Our bodies are talking to us all the time, showing us the consequences of our unconscious decisions. A healer acts as a mirror to your consciousness, bringing also the energy to help you return to your whole self.

Related » How Anything Can Be Healed by Martin Brofman

The Journey Towards My Total Healing

When I went to see Martin for a healing, I recognized my life in his comments, but I was startled when he declared the brain tumor was the result of not doing what I wanted to do in my life and revealed tension in my relationship with my father. No one knew about this tension better than me but I had dismissed it as a childhood story I had outgrown. The regular MRI scans showed no change at first, but my inner conviction that I was going to get better by this means grew. I continued to explore and release my feelings, and changed my life to reflect what I wanted to do. This included leaving my job and learning to become a healer. And I took time to visualize my complete recovery, regularly, every day.

A year later the MRI showed a barely perceptible weakening in the shape of the tumor. I was triumphant, to the bewilderment of my family. A year after that, the MRI showed a distinct collapse in the form of the tumor, like the shape of a sail when the wind goes out of it. I knew the result long before I saw it on the scan, because now I was listening to my body. I carried on healing, and writing, and designing my beautiful life. Four years later I returned for another scan, just to make sure I was not deluding myself. I was well with no symptoms, but even so I was nervous when I went to see the scan. The consultant looked hard. Eventually he found a tiny bump, no larger than the tip of my little finger. I was joyful. The tumor had disappeared without surgery or any pharmaceutical intervention. This drama was over for good.

Excerpted with permission from Change Your Mind Heal Your Body published by Watkins Publishing

This was first published in the February 2015 issue of Complete Wellbeing.

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