Nainital

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Nainital blooms across the verdant hills and the sun-dipped horizon as our car takes in the last of the steep mountain climbs. Lights are flickering like a thousand twinkling stars—a sparkling canopy spread over the hills. Nainital, at night, in the guise of a heavily bejewelled Queen, is holding court. As if on cue, temple bells clang long and joyfully into the darkness, and echo deep into the valleys.

And then, it starts to rain. A few drops splattered across the windshield give way to a steady drizzle. By the time we take the sharp curve that takes us to our hotel on an incline, the hills are drenched in a downpour.

It’s the sort of welcome that takes the strain out of travelling along long, desolate and dusty roads on a hot afternoon. It’s a stiff and sore 10-hour ride from Delhi that is leavened only by a lunch break. Before the ride, of course, was the air travel from Mumbai. So if our tired minds are to work at the math, it’s been close to 16 hours worth of being in transit. 16 hours across a buffet of climates—humid, hot and arid, and now cold, drenched…and dreamy.

We awaken to a dream. The hotel is sprawled luxuriously, straddling the hills, and ensconced in mist. Dew drops cling to the air, and if we just turn our faces upwards, we can feel their soft, cool presence. The air is so fresh, that your senses are instantly revived. It’s as if a gurgling swift clean stream passes through the mind and washes away all that is clogged and cumbersome.

There’s clearly something uplifting about being in Nainital.

Snugly situated in a valley in the Kumaon foothills of the outer Himalayas, Nainital is called the Queen of the Lakes. And not without reason. Several lakes, their surfaces rippled only by a passing boat or by a crane swooping down to catch a fish, dot this hill station. One of the lakes is Naini lake, host to several romantic notions and the source of several backdrops to Hindi film songs. It is pear-shaped and is flanked by mountains on all sides—as if the ranges are standing sentinels to the misty, mesmerising, shimmering and delicate waters. Really nothing comes between you and the serene view of the cloud-topped mountains, except for the passing mist.

The gentle boat, the lapping of the oars and the view through this chiffon of mist—you get the strange feeling sometimes that you are directing your own dream.

Getting back to the famed Naini Lake, according to local lore, it is one of the 64 Shakti Peeths, or religious sites where parts of the charred body of Sati [Parvati] fell on earth while being carried by Lord Shiva. The spot where Sati’s eyes [or nain] fell, came to be called Nain-tal or lake of the eye. Even today, the goddess Shakti is worshipped at the Naina Devi Temple on the north shore of the lake.

The Naini Lake is also famed as the ‘lesser Mansarovar’ as a dip in its water is considered equivalent to shraddha or devotion to the actual Mansarovar in Tibet. Set amidst the shadows of seven mountains, Naini Lake neatly divides the quaint hill town of Nainital into the northern side called Mallital and the southern side called Tallital.

Most of us basking in the tranquillity of the slanting sun rays that glisten through the leaves, know that this is peace. This play of light and shade makes for alluring profile pictures, as well. We take a row boat, and the boatman dips his oars gently, almost lovingly parting the waters as we stir ahead. There are others, more energetic, paddling away, their feet moving the paddles in rhythm with the soft lapping of the smiling waves. Everything has harmony here, even the birds that glide on the silken waters and the leaves that rustle in a whispering melody. Harmony and clarity. Though laden with mist, the invigorating air somehow shifts invisibly deep mental planes to bring you to your core. Something alters in imperceptible ripples within your being.

In fact, the entire town of Nainital and its folk have an affability and balance that echo in the poise of its location. Colourful houses and wooden cottages are perched on hills that are straight out of quaint pretty picture books. Wild flowers burst into the scene at unexpected moments, and it looks as if the hills are playing holi.

Though the modern world has slowly encroached on Nainital with 5 star hotels situated at breathtaking [literally!] heights and tar roads that can access remote regions, this enchanting town is primarily enjoyed through long and leisurely walks. Amble around with a camera and at every turn and incline, there is a scene, neatly framed and waiting, with natural soft-focus filters thrown in, for someone to snap it up. Stroll through the heart of the mall—as British as ever, with freshly painted wooden benches parked at inviting corners and black colonial lamp posts standing guard throughout the spruced up mall road that allows only pedestrians. Listen to the mountain birds chirp in their hill dialects and the school children, all smartly coated, laughing and running down the roads as school winds up for the day. And marvel at how simple, really simple life can be.

Of course, there are the usual touristy things to do: boating, a visit to the zoo that is home to several animals in their natural habitat, the cave gardens that are a treat for kids as they get to explore how a cave really feels from its deep insides. At times, one feels as if a tiger would just rouse itself from the darkness of the cave and accost you with his fiery orange eyes for encroaching on his territory! Then there’s the ropeway that has become such an integral feature of all scenic towns situated at heights, and the ‘points’ such as the Snow View, China Peak, and even a Tiffin Top, but that is just to fill up the three nights and four day packages. The real Nainital undoubtedly resides in the peaks and crests, but more importantly, lives elsewhere. In the ice cold streams that flow out of little wells pumped by little hands that cup this water and drink. In the open, welcome faces of the hill people as they greet you and point out places. In the fragrance of the longest, smoothest rice grain that is native to these hills and which makes for the most memorable biryani that you have ever eaten. The wholesome flavour of the rice never leaves your taste buds even after several years. In clothes being washed under a hand-pump, in the early morning light as the mist shifts and the sun begins to warm the cold hands flecked with soap suds. The rich aroma of tea being brewed at wooden stalls, the fresh-flavoured steam mingling in the haze to give the bitingly cold air a refreshing feel…It’s an awakening of a wondrous kind!

And finally in the thousands of temple bells that clang in unison arising out of the sleepy small village of Ghorakhlal, a shrine to the Golu deity, revered for his ability to fulfil wishes. For every wish that has been granted by Lord Golu, there is a corresponding bell. There are literally thousands and thousands of bells, tightly tied across the length and breadth of this otherwise modest temple that has come to be known as the Bell Temple.

But you can hear their sound many miles away as you make your way back to your hotel, as the last light leaves the hills, plunging the valley into pitch darkness. Save for the distant lights that illuminate houses and hotels, and the twinkling stars in the sky, all that remains in the hush is the surreal sound of the bells that reverberate, as if into many pasts, and several futures. Echoing the thought that what you wish for today will be your destiny tomorrow. As your car serenades the hills, the bells keep in tune, ebbing and returning, their peals fading into the mist that settles like a blanket to put Nainital to sleep for the night.

And the dream goes on.

This was first published in the September 2011 issue of Complete Wellbeing.

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Moochers, also known as freeloaders, come in several forms—with the same fundamental raison d’être: to freeload. Whether money, resources, energy [those who accost you and burden you with all their trials and triumphs till you’ve been talked and talked to without end], or time [where helping them out takes hours off your clock].

It is Tricky to Keep a Moocher Away

One of my teachers would find a reason to come home with me during the lunch break: she had run out of cooking gas and needed to call the service; or she needed to call home to check on her son. When she came home, she would of course be offered lunch. I could never overtly deny her request to come home since she was in a position of power. Eventually, I did get around to telling her that my phone wasn’t working.

We’ve always guessed and squirmed at a moocher’s ulterior motives, found it difficult to say no when asked to lend favors, and spent distressing times thinking of ways to ward them off…the next time.

But they’re back, leeching off in whatever way they can, leaving you feeling helpless, used, irritated and sulking. Some of us may even resignedly accept the moocher as ‘fate’, passively shrugging our shoulders, and rolling eyes skywards, saying ‘what to do?’ But guess what? It is this attitude of being the fall guy [or girl] that the moocher preys on. Being soft-hearted makes you a soft target for the moocher’s machinations—the right audience for their smooth-talking, victim-playing act.

5 Signs of a Freeloader or a Moocher

Most moochers have a few common characteristics that can help you to tune in to their mooching vibes.

1. Moochers are smooth talkers

They often talk a lot, sharing ‘confidences’ to make you feel like a close friend. This makes it easy for them to sponge off you, while difficult for you to refuse. “They are also charming, good conversationalists and ‘friendly’,” says Mumbai-based psychologist and counselor Pallavi Ullal. “This is a common and strong factor in all moochers.” You are always left wondering whether you are being taken advantage of, or is it all within ‘friendship’.

2. Moochers are crafty calculators

You will never catch a moocher chipping in with even a bag of chips at an impromptu get-together. Says Esha Trivedi, an HR Consultant, who gets regularly mooched upon in clever [‘sneaky’ she says] ways by the same person for a lift in her car, “Gifts for special celebrations are conveniently ‘forgotten at home in a hurry’ and promises to send them later are always just empty words”.

3. Moochers are convincing actors

A shadow of sadness in the eyes, the slight crestfallen turn of the lips, the ingratiating smiles—are all well-laid traps to ensnare hapless victims. We give them the benefit of doubt as their excuses take the guise of truth with their convincing acting performances.

4. Moochers are creative

Moochers are creative… with their excuses. You will rarely find them doling out the same reason for their inability to keep their side of the deal: the wallet got interchanged and the one with the cash got left at home; changed my jeans at the last minute and forgot to put the wallet in. Payal Sanghvi, a homemaker, has been given the interesting line, “the purse got left behind in the auto—thank God it just had a few hundred rupees in it!”

5. Moochers are friends in need—always

We have all borrowed money or other resources and somehow forgotten to return them. What separates the moochers is the frequency and consistency of their need. They are primarily driven by self-centredness. This is exactly what separates them from the frugal among us. The thrifty save and live within their resources; moochers save their resources by living on those of others.

Understanding the Psychology of a Moocher

Mind of the moocher

Moochers are at the center of their own universe and also think they are the center of everyone else’s universe too. Pallavi Ullal says, “You can trace the mooching behavior to childhood learning patterns. The moocher probably got everything that he asked for and hence doesn’t value anything.” Another driving factor could be that they feel that somebody has more than them, so they have no qualms sponging off them.

Again, there are two kinds of moochers: one who sponge off others intentionally. They are devious—and by far, the more dangerous of the two kinds. The other variety comprises those who don’t realize that they are freeloading. It is more of a learnt habit from childhood, where they have taken everything for granted.

Victim personality

There is a distinct personality that actually lends themselves to mooching. These are people who constantly get mooched, whine about it, but are unable to take corrective action. “People who are habitually sponged off have not developed a personality that can be assertive. They are unable to speak their mind and often are also gullible,” says Ullal.

How to Deal With Moochers and Freeloaders

Dealing with moochers and freeloaders involves treading the delicate balance between losing a relationship and being firm about being sponged upon. It is a tricky area to navigate since mooching is hardly ever a matter of etiquette and manners. However, there are several polite yet decisive ways, that we can stop being taken advantage of. It is far better to learn to disarm a moocher than to avoiding her or shrug helplessly every time you allow yourself to be mooched.

When you suspect you’re being taken for a ride, for instance, after you’ve paid for the cab the third time in a row, play the moochers’ game yourself. Fumble in your wallet and say you don’t have change and turn around and say [with a bright smile] –‘anyways it’s your turn this time’. Dipankar Ghosh, an IT Manager knows that this tactic works for, “it gets the message across that you have been keeping tabs on the times you’ve doled out the dough, and also that you expect expenses to be shared.”

Here are a few tactics that could help you keep moochers in their place:

1. Decide on whose turn it is to pay before you go out

That’s what Nikhil Pradhan, senior engineer at a multinational, does after being sponged on by the same colleague several times. “It’s important to do so politely, saying that you feel best that everyone takes a go at the tab so that way no one feels the others owe them.”

2. Decline loan requests firmly

When asked for a loan [which you know will never be returned], decline firmly saying or say you have a policy not to lend money as it spoils relationships.

3. Only pay for your share

Pointedly ask for a separate bill whenever you are out. Better still opt to go to a place with self-service. “I go up to the counter and pick up my tab,” says the recently wisened-up Rajita Amin, a corporate trainer. This way the moocher has no choice but to pick up her own bill. “I don’t mind sharing my food with her though,” says Rajita.

5. Use group psychology to disarm the moocher

Work on the moocher with group psychology. Nothing succeeds like excess. If you are in a group where everyone has had similar problems with the moocher, gang up and make pointed digs, and crack twisted jokes at the mooching habit. Suggests Vivek Tandan, CEO of a head-hunting firm, “Peer pressure and ridicule is one of the strongest and shortest routes to mending ways. Lessons learnt in this painful way are learnt forever.”

6. Cut your losses, and move on

Moochers are often not real friends. They are just freeloaders that are there to have a ride at someone else’s expense. In fact, sometimes their thrill could be how to snare the next soft head. They could be getting their kicks out of finding out how and whom to bait again. If you sense that the moocher is just a receiver, and not a giver of anything worthwhile in a friendship, it might be better to end the relationship.

7. Confront them

The most effective way to deal with moochers, suggests psychologist Ullal, is by directly confronting them, since “they do not understand subtle hints”. Also you need to plan in advance and be prepared with your own excuses for saying no, “since before you can give your reason, moochers have two of their own ready to undermine yours.”

Summing up

In conclusion, dealing with moochers requires a blend of assertiveness and tact. Recognizing the signs of a moocher—whether they are smooth talkers, crafty calculators, convincing actors, or creatively evasive—helps you address their behavior effectively. By setting clear boundaries, managing your resources wisely, and, if necessary, confronting them directly, you can protect yourself from being exploited.

Remember, while it’s important to maintain relationships, it’s equally vital to ensure that they are balanced and respectful. Taking these steps will help you navigate interactions with moochers and maintain healthier, more equitable connections.

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Dubai

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Easily tall on any Dubai itinerary is a visit to the tallest building in the world, the Burj Khalifa, a 160-storey structure, which is home to some of the world’s wealthiest people and has offices of the who’s who in business. It also holds the distinction of having the world’s highest nightclub, the highest mosque and the world’s highest occupied floor. Ostentatiously, also the world’s largest New Year fireworks display show.

But then, for a government that’s keen on shifting its economy from being oil-centric to one that is service and tourism related, such an extravagant display of wealth, is simply, a strategy that has paid off.

The viewing deck is on the 124th floor. When you are in the muted hush of its steel elevators, you feel the world drop away at a breathtaking and ear-whistling speed of 18 metres per second, [making it the fastest elevator in the world]. You reach the 124th floor and then, all of a sudden, you are at the top. It’s as if the world has fallen away beneath you, leaving you in the company of the soaring birds, a bluer sky and a careless wind.

From the viewing deck, you can see two distinct Dubais sprawled way down. One, the ancient desert land from where the sands of the past swirl around the dunes as notes from the azaan streak the twilight skies with strokes of serenity. Where the culture of ages comes alive at dusk desert camps, reached by a swerving jeep ride over the dunes [reminiscent of being tossed about on a camel’s back]. And where, under a clear starlit sky, belly dancers, bagpipe players and dervishes spin their magic into the night. As the barbecue pit spews its sizzling aromas, and the music spreads on the evening desert winds, you are slowly seduced back in time, to another era. To miles and miles of sand and life under a harsh sun.

All that’s changed now. With the discovery of oil reserves in 1966, the other Dubai has emerged spectacularly. Shifting sands have given way to miles of high-resistant asphalt on which the millionaires and billionaires of the world have set up their entrepreneurial dreams. The traditional wooden dhows [traditional Arabic ships] at the waterfront have made way for perfectly white, sleek luxury liners.

From atop, the city looks like a giant Lego set, offset with glass blue and copper buildings, the turquoise sea hugging the powdery white sands of the Palm Jumeirah beach, and circular roads buzzing with miniature cars and blinking traffic lights. The rays of the sun bounce off the gleaming facade of the Burj Al Arab [it has a landing helipad for guests], which is easily the most lavish hotel property in the world.

Dubai seems almost like a city straight out of a modern fairy tale. From here, high up in the company of the cloudless sky, you can wave a magic wand and your wish will materialise in three dimensional wonders way down.

This duality in Dubai makes up for some sublime architecture, a two-edged experience, and a contrast that shifts you suddenly from the past to the future at the supersonic speed of the Burj Khalifa elevator.

The best time to visit Burj Khalifa is at around four in the afternoon, especially in the winter. Once you are up at the viewing deck, they don’t hurry you down after your allotted half an hour. Instead, you can spend time peering down from paid binoculars, which when trained in any particular direction, show you how Dubai looked at that very same spot four decades ago, just at the point in time when old was ushering in the new.

When you finally come down, you step into an open space in the complex of the Dubai Mall, [which, incidentally, is one of the largest in the world] looking out into a placid waterfront. Alongside the mall, the Burj Khalifa rises majestically into the burnished sky. It is at this moment, when the setting sun cascades its colours into the reflectively calm waters, and shimmers off the Burj Khalifa, bathing it in warm golden light, that the call of the muezzin [the person who leads the call to pray] stirs the soul into bowing acquiescence. You are at once humbled and haunted by this azaan, where in the midst of all the prosperous icons and manmade indulgences surrounding the space, the almighty is still, all-pervading and powerful, and continues to hold sway.

Consumerism is king here, of course, and malls load up on all that money can buy. An array of brands, showcased alluringly in an environment that is preened, polished and pitted against the best in the world. Each mall has something up its sleeve to cajole the customer: whether it is the ski world at the Mall of the Emirates, in which an entire snow world, complete with ski slopes and snowmen, or the Dubai Mall, which has a tunnel aquarium replete with penguins. However, for a really different experience of the mall culture, a visit to the Wafi Mall is a must. Here, ancient Egypt is recreated and relived in every installation and interior work. Giant monoliths of pharaohs herald you into the mall. From the entrance itself, you are transported into Egypt, with frescoes and stones and its unique identity continuing right into the shopping arcade. Even the cuisine served here is typically Egyptian and restaurants sport a distinctive decor and service unique to Egypt.

Dubai stands for everything man-made. Nature has been slowly hushed up to slip into the background. Technology has transformed this dry landscape into a destination of dreams and power. It’s out on display here, what sweeping changes man can bring about, even reigning over nature, if he has foresight, concrete plans, the will—and wealth—to make them happen. A magnificent amount of petro dollars have been pumped into its futuristic appearance—meteoric high-rises that are architectural marvels, wide radar-controlled roads on which elite brand of cars race by at 120km per hour, and the iconic palm islands built in the shape of a date palm. The islands are touted as the 8th wonder of the world, hosting some of the most extravagant properties internationally that can be seen from as far off as space.

But, by far, the best way to get an overview of this futuristic city is by the open-top hop-on hop-off bus. It neatly assimilates the dichotomy of Dubai, interlinking its past and its present, by two distinct routes. The ideal way to do this is to start off early on one line, which takes about two and a half hours, hop off for lunch, and then hop on again and do the other route. This again should take a couple of hours.

The commentary on the headset is lucid and full of interesting anecdotes, which serve in bringing Dubai closer to the tourist. For instance, when citizens of Dubai get married to each other, the government gifts them a house and 70,000 dirham for their honeymoon!

Or that Dubai experiences the maximum difference in temperatures in a day, fluctuating from 48 degrees during day, to 28 degrees at night, a range of 20 degrees in less than 24 hours! Or, that under construction, is a residential building that actually rotates once every day. So that the view you get out of your bedroom windows will be different at various points of the day—and night!

The night tour atop the double decker bus is a glittering tribute to the city. It rides all the way to Palm Jumeirah, a piece of prime property dotted with villas owned by the likes of Michael Schumacher. It is built on reclaimed land in the shape of a palm tree. This stretch also boasts of The Atlantis, a resplendent luxury hotel that houses an aqua adventure theme park, and one of the world’s finest aquariums dedicated to the lost mythical city of Atlantis.

In the hotel, you can stay in rooms that are underwater and whose walls are made totally of glass. Peek-a-boo time for the fish?

For an authentic feel of old Dubai, head to the Museum in Bur Dubai where pottery, stonework and oyster diving pursuits are depicted with figurines, and beautiful installations. Looking at them, you realise the amount of progress the people have made in just 40 years. Four decades of raising dreams from the dust…of having the courage to dream big in the first place.

For all its shopping ranging from high-end electronics, branded couture, to traditional souks dealing in spices and pure gold, its extravagance and its showmanship, Dubai is a land of vision. A land that changes the way the world views it. In spite of occupying such a small area on the world map, it is at the hub of global economy, tourism and commerce, engaging the collective fantasies of entrepreneurs, shoppers, tourists and governments. It is one of the wealthiest cities of the world, and one of the safest.

Despite being governed by a harsh climate, it has found its way to make the most of its reserves, capitalising on opportunities and building on them with a certain flamboyant élan and astuteness. Dubai is ultimately a city that says, I can and I will. And it does.

This was first published in the March 2012 issue of Complete Wellbeing.

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Of all the decades in one’s life, the forties probably provides the most fodder for comedians; this decade is associated with men having affairs with, and women dressing up like girls half their age. So should you just roar with laughter [is that why they call it the ‘roaring forties’?], or take this ‘passing phase’ more seriously?

Young at heart?

Extra-marital affairs, by men as well as women, at this age are almost expected and even excused as a part of ‘midlife crisis’. However, unlike Kevin Spacey in American Beauty, the story does not end with you winning an Oscar for your performance.

Responsibilities and routine can lead relations into a rut. Rakesh never had a great marriage to begin with, but his ambitious nature took the focus off his personal life and onto his career. By the time he was 46, he had reached his professional peak. From where he stood, he could see how easy it was to play the ‘field’. And so began an affair with a colleague. When the flames of passion died out, his guilt led him to confess all to his wife. His justification? Yes, midlife crisis.

Pallavi Ullal, a psychologist and counsellor, says, “This kind of behaviour stems from a character flaw — of taking the easy way out by giving up on your long-term relationship instead of giving it a shot of rejuvenation after so many years of togetherness. It is not just a symptom of this supposed age-related condition, but of deep-seated emotional malfunctioning.”

Careering off the road

After working for 25 years as an engineer, building a small fortune over time, Vijay put in his papers and decided to plough back his savings into organic farming! His wife, who had barely finished clearing up after his 50th birthday celebrations, could only shrug and put it down to midlife crisis. But the engineer was serious. Ever since he made the move from an IT firm in Bangalore to a farm in Mangalore, you could not deny seeing a glow in his eyes and a smile on his face.

This age does make people revise and revisit their life goals and career choices. You find yourself at a crossroads—do you continue along the same path of familiarity or do you risk it all for a challenge? If there is a nest egg in the bank and the children have flown the coop, most would decide on setting out on the less-trodden path. And this could lead to a healthier mindset and a happier heart.

“When one continues to do what one has done for so many years, without engaging in hobbies or alternate pastimes, a kind of fatigue and boredom can set in. One should attempt a good work-life balance so that navigating the middle age years is easier,” says Ullal.

Pause and effect

Hormonal changes, which usually occur in one’s forties, are termed as menopause in women and andropause in men. The aberrations and emotions one faces as a teenager are similar. Except, at this age one does not have the energy and the ability of the youth. But, ultimately both adolescence and middle age are transitional periods.

“Not being prepared for these transitions is what causes the so-called crises,” says Ullal. “If you approach the challenges of the age with acceptance and as an opportunity for growth, then most of the problems can be avoided.”

Who am I?

While the first identity crisis in adolescence was about ‘finding yourself’, the second one is about ‘giving up who you think you are to become what you were meant to be’. Many of us turn to spirituality or other means to discover our
inner selves.

Ritu had been a wife and a mother for so long that when her husband succumbed to heart disease and her children started their own families, she suddenly felt lost. Years of looking after her children first, and then her husband in his last years, did not allow her to look at herself as someone beyond a ‘nurturer’.

Instead of moving in with her children and helping out with her grandchildren, as they insisted she do, Ritu decided to shift base to the mountains. She always wanted to write a book and so, over the years she had penned down ideas for short stories that she could now compile at peace.

Middle age is often feared as a traumatic transition in one’s life. “This happens when people are not ready to age gracefully,” says Ullal, “But it is just another phase with its own set of challenges. Look at it as an opportunity to grow.”

Susan Krauss Whitbourne, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst, in a research paper has revealed that “people who had switched jobs early in adulthood scored higher in a category she calls generativity—a sense of productivity in work and a desire to leave something of yourself behind for future generations—than those who settled down and stuck with an occupation for 20 years or more. In contrast, she found, divorce and other changes in personal relationships in early life had a detrimental effect on midlife mental health.”

Continuing research into this subject has found that people are actually a lot happier at midlife than at any other point in life. Didn’t someone say that life begins at 40?

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Andaman Islands

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Natural beauty and national pride merge seamlessly in the Andaman Islands, which together with the Nicobar Islands form the floating part of India, a group of 572 islands, islets and rocks, which lie to the south eastern tip of the Bay of Bengal.

Innumerable shades of blue tussle with the open greens, the outstretched whites and sandy browns. The view is picture postcard perfect. And cameras go trigger happy!

Tourists have begun to flock to the Andamans recently. A lot of tour operators still do not offer Andaman packages. Which is why we had an entire Kingfisher flight chartered by a travel website that had a strong network in place in the Andamans.

The islands are all about putting your feet up. For the adventurous, there is snorkelling and scuba diving. But for those of us, who like to take it easy, the amazing corals are on view, if you crouch in the glass-bottomed motor boat and peer through the emerald green waters. Smile at the boatman and put a little baksheesh in his hands and he’ll take you further down the waters, where the marine life is at its turquoise best. We even caught Nemo swimming away happily with his friends, oblivious to the bulging eyes on the other end of the glass.

Port Blair, the capital city of the Andaman Islands and the place where the three-hour direct flight from Bengaluru lands. As capital cities go Port Blair too is alive with hustle and bustle. There are shops, government organisations, and offices jostling for space in this small area. History reigns in Port Blair. Particularly that of India’s freedom struggle. The most important shrine to this period is the magnificent Cellular Jail that was built by the British and that housed over 600 inmates [the most distinguished among them being Vinayak Damodar Savarkar aka Veer Savarkar]. Indian freedom fighters were sent here as punishment—saza-e-kaala paani—and it was one of the most dreaded sentences. A light and sound show organised here in the evening, takes you back to the darkest periods of India’s fight for independence to give you a glimpse of the atrocities meted out to prisoners.

A short 30-minute cruise takes you to the Viper Island, which houses the gallows where freedom fighters met their end. Another short cruise takes you to the Ross Islands, the capital of Port Blair during the British era. Now, only dilapidated buildings remain. The ruins of the bakery, press, swimming pool, barracks, church and chief commissioner’s house are but a hollow reminder of the times gone by. When the sea breeze blows through these now lifeless buildings, you somehow get the feel of being in another age. The deers cavorting freely around eating sugarcane out of your hands—adds to the surreal experience.

The show stealers of these islands are still the pristine white beaches that extend into emerald green [and sometimes turquoise blue] waters. Swaying palms provide just the right shade for you to nestle under and put your feet up. In 2004, the tsunami had hit the islands, leaving devastation in its wake. Somehow, the destruction has made Andamans even more beautiful [if that’s even possible]. The trees felled by the natural disaster look like magnum opus of some master sculptor. Sit on them and take home pictures with the most beautiful sea as backdrop.

Few beaches on the islands can be reached by road. The Elephant Beach and Corbyn’s Cove are among them. The drive to both these is as breathtakingly picturesque as the destinations themselves. Soaking in the sun, sea, sand and surf at these beaches is an unforgettable experience, but for a major grouse: there are no toilets or changing rooms on site. As a result, people are forced to attend to nature’s calls behind bushes and change behind makeshift curtains made by hanging a pieces of cloth to creaking wooden poles. And, as things go, there are no dustbins, which result in tourists littering the beaches.

The Radhanagar Beach on the Havelock Islands is a welcome exception. Ranked the best beach in Asia by the Time magazine in 2004, the beach lives up to its reputation. Interrupted only by the golden and turquoise waves, miles of soft powdery sand invite you to sink your feet into it. The sun sets here as early as 5 in the evening and is almost a spiritual sight. It’s with reluctant hearts that we had to dust the sand from our backs and head back to the hotel.

This is really not such a bad thing; hotels at Havelock Islands are straight out of postcards. Cosy cottages set amidst swaying palms open their windows to the salt spray and the sea mist. Lazy hammocks dot the meandering lanes that open out directly into the sea. Though the Andamans don’t have a winter [the tsunami changed the weather of the islands, say the locals], and it is humid, even in December, the sea breeze makes up for the balmy days.

The journey from Port Blair to Havelock is an adventure in itself. Ferried, or rather flown over the waters by a catamaran—the Makruzz—two hours, a few shrieks and tummy churning somersaults later, this white and blue beauty deposits us at the harbour. What a feeling, it is!

For those in search of retail therapy, the Andamans offer its treasures from the sea: key chains, show pieces, jewellery made from shells and corals and conches that hold messages from the sea. Plus there are the usual suspects–T-shirts that declare to the world that you’ve been to the Andamans and spices that release their aroma even as you touch them.

Andamans is also about taking a perfect shot—whatever the make of your camera! Do visit Chidiya Tapu, which is a 45-minute drive from Port Blair for some amazing silhouettes and moments that the Tsunami has left behind. The drive serenades the sea as it segues to some of the best seascapes that you could have seen in this part of the globe.

Day-long excursions to Jolly Buoy Island and Red Skin Islands give you opportunities to snorkel and scuba dive—and touch marine life—the amazing corals and reefs.

Those who think that Andaman is all about beaches, Mount Harriet dispels the notion with its steep climb. The summer headquarters of the Chief Commissioner during the British Raj, this picnic spot is the highest point in South Andaman and is a vantage point to get a spectacular bird’s eye view of the islands. For hikers, it has a 6km nature trail and for the kids, a play park.
Then there are the museums that document the past and present life of the people of Andaman and Nicobar: the Anthropological Museum showcases the lifestyle of aboriginal inhabitants; and the Fisheries Museum showcases the rich and varied marine life of these tiny islands.

Ultimately, Andaman is about freedom. The open spaces, the clear air, the beckoning waters and the expanse of beaches. It is about finding a silent space within yourself as you give in to this environment of national pride and natural beauty.

This was first published in the May 2011 issue of Complete Wellbeing.

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1. Go organic. Pack a lovely cane or bamboo basket and fill it with goodies such as organic honey, wheat, rice and even cookies. Make it a basket of health.

2. Put together a collection of some all-time favourite funny movies [Liar Liar, Police Academy or a few regional flicks] and reads [Erma Bombeck, PG Wodehouse and Woody Allen]. Better, watch the movies together with the one you’ve gifted them to and share a good laugh. Laughter is the best medicine and gift.
3. Gift an annual membership at a nearby gym. They will simply love you for this. This gift is especially good for that friend who’s been meaning to join the gym but hasn’t made the move yet.
4. Scout the market for a trendy gym kit with a bag, a sipper, a towel and a napkin for the workout enthusiast. Make sure the bag is of the colour the person loves.
5. For that friend or family member who’s not the gym kind, a yoga mat, yoga CD and book for beginners complete with illustrations will work well. For added benefits, include a CD or a book on meditation.
6. For the one who is too lazy to make it to the gym and isn’t the kind who can exercise on her own, hire a personal trainer/yoga instructor for six months or a year.
7. Gift the best pair of walking shoes you can find for those who love the outdoors and prefer walking as a form of exercise.
8. Help a loved one unwind by gifting her a holiday to an ayurveda spa or wellness centre. Out of budget? A relaxing treatment package at a spa closer home will do.
9. Encourage healthy snacking by gifting a hamper of fresh fruits or juices. Include some dry fruits for good measure. Or you could put together a pack of health supplements.
10. For those who are in love with their bodies and for those who totally ignore theirs, gift a voucher for beauty and body treatments. Massage, clean skin, healthy hair—it’s a look-good, feel-good gift.
11. Make a first-aid kit complete with cotton, bandages, antiseptic, anti-burning lotion, tablets and first aid instructions. Attach a note that says: “I hate to see you getting hurt, ever” or “I want you to be safe always”.
12. For the elderly family/friends, give a hamper containing a BP monitor, weighing scale, digital thermometer and BMI calculator.
13. Pay for a full body medical check-up at a reputed hospital or pathology lab. Depending on your budget, you can include a range of tests like CBC, thyroid, gynaecological testing, stress test, pulmonary test and chest X-ray in it.
14. Gift a year’s subscription of a health and wellness magazine.
15. Present plants like neem, basil [outdoor plants] or golden pothos. Gift them in attractive potters with a colourful ribbon tied to them. For those who don’t have a garden or balcony, gift home plants that reduce pollution and radiation, like aloe vera [absorbs harmful gases in the air], adiantum [absorbs radiation from the computer and printer], cacti [reduces radiation], clivia [keeps air fresh in winter], ivy [absorbs formaldehyde and benzene and kills germs] or a rubber tree [eliminates harmful substances in the air].
16. For friends who are calorie-conscious, pay for their year’s tiffin of low-calorie, diet food.
17. Pamper your friend with a basket of aroma therapy essential oils and handmade soaps.
18. Beat all gifts by giving a warm hug, a big smile, heartfelt wishes, a good long conversation and your time. In fact, this gift should accompany any other that you choose to give. It never goes out of style, is always healthy and is priceless!

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Summer time

As summer rolls by from distant shores, the serene languid stretches of sand can almost lull you into hypnotic submission. Humid air tingled with salt spray is gently whisked away in cool teases of the sea breeze.

You can laze, and laze—and then laze some more as you discover your idyllic strip of sand, sun and shade on the many beaches that dot Goa. Look up at the palm fringes encircling the powder puff blue sky, and take in the faint, lingering aroma of the succulent spices of fresh pomfret being readied to fry. Bliss.

You’ll give in to musings on life, watching the clouds trace wispy patterns in the sky as the sun journeys lazily across the horizon. Filled with Goan rice and fish curry cooked fresh in the shacks on the beach, your eyelids succumb to a deep slumber. And you have already reached heaven.

Goa in summer is all about crisp whites, soft blues, gentle breezes, laid back musings, much meandering, and endless siestas.

For, life is to be lived without a goal in Goa. Especially in the summers.

The time, if something like that exists in this leisurely land, is taken up by strolls, swims, sleep, serendipity and the sanguine spray of the sea that clings to your hair and seeps into your system.

The long, winding road segues to a lazy rhythm as coconut palms, quaint houses, beaming people and wide open spaces rush past and a feeling of ecstatic freedom settles. Being India’s smallest state and the fourth smallest in terms of population, Goa is really about giving you your space [literally and figuratively as well]. You carry your being lightly in this land that is home to world heritage architecture, Portuguese influences, coconuts and cashew nuts, and miles of beaches.

Reclusive, refreshing rains

At the beginning of June, the sun suddenly hides behind the grey clouds that come in from over the sea. And Goa gets transformed into a misty romantic vision. Sometimes, the skies open up and bless the land with continuous days of downpour. The greens become deeper, more lush, the sea churns up its most gigantic waves and the smell of wet earth lingers in the air. Goa in the rains is like a shy new beautiful bride, with veils of rain cascading and hiding her behind the thin veneer of mist. It’s a season of togetherness. It’s a time when the original beauty of the place, shorn of high season tourist revelry, is revealed in all its magic. These are moments when the land reigns, letting out its old-world beauty with a flourish, cocooning the visitors with bursts of rains.

To experience the ageless charm of Goa, head to the South, which is soaked in the genteel ways, with prime luxury hotels treating you to the unhurried elegant Goan ethos. Here, on their sprawling properties, the monsoons in Goa present their most spectacular performances. That too at an off season discount!

Actually, much of manmade Goa crouches out of reach as the rains hurtle across the skies. Shacks close. The beaches empty out of the typical tourist population. Restaurants operate sparingly. The fishermen venture out only occasionally. And this is when Goa really opens up in all its glory and vivacity. It blooms, it dances, it rejoices in its existence. And you will feel like being one with the land.

As you let go of umbrellas and raincoats and enjoy an impromptu rain dance on the beach, with each step your toes slide deeper into the wet sand. It feels so right. Enjoy the walks around deserted water sports enclaves and catch the crabs crawling out to test the land. See the flowers take on richer hues; the rain drops delicately settling in on their soft petals as the mist covers the path before you in a sudden swift rush.

Goa in the rains is deeply invigorating. Even as you sip your coffee at the hotel’s breakfast bar, and watch the rains, you are infused with a surge of energy. You feel rejuvenated and coaxed out of the summer slumber, refreshed and ready to go.

You also feel connected in profound ways, with nature. You witness how things work in sublime ways when you let nature take its course. Your senses feel heightened, your mind refreshed and your heart does a strange flip flop every time the rain comes calling. Goa allows you to stand back—and participate in nature’s revelry—all at the same time.

Of course, rains in Goa are absolutely romantic. Even the hard core rationalist will be hard pressed to resist the allure and the misty environs. It is an ideal backdrop to patch up with someone whom you’ve had a tiff with. All will be forgiven in the endearing climate that the monsoons spin around the Mandovi river, the broken forts and the timeless churches.

Wow, it’s winter

The churches stand poised in resplendence as the winter draws near somewhere in November in preparation for Christmas that is the joi de vivre of Goa. Flocks of tourists, many from international shores, make Goa the meeting and melting pot of cultures, cuisines and camaraderie in December. It’s the season of bonhomie. Of reckless abandon and frothy cheer. This is Goa in festivity, in celebration and a non-stop partying mode. The lights are all over the place, on the beaches as well, as bonfires and barbecues highlight the late evenings.

The natives get out of their laidback gear and lifestyle [sosegaad to the locals] of vests and shorts and look like completely different people in their suits and bow ties. The ladies fuss over their sorpotels and bebincas and their pork vindaloos and the fragrances of spices and meat and laughter pervade the bylanes of Goa as Christmas trees go up in the porches. You feel welcome, wanted—as if you’ve lived in Goa all along.

The music throbs on the cold breeze that wafts from the seashore, and strangers become friends in the spirit of the moment. You feel the magic in the air as the gracious, warm and enchanting essence of Christmas completely takes over, changing the character of Goa yet again.

The weather is pitched to be able to make the most of the outdoors all day long [and all night long if you wish] and the vibe is infectious. During Christmas, Goa has an unmistakable buzz about it, a zest for celebrating life itself. It feels like a massive carnival has taken over the streets, beaches and churches. This is no longer the place to amble along, but to let your hair down. No more the quiet space but a throbbing, heady, energy-driven zone.

The months from November to February are decidedly edgy, and gloriously merry. The restaurants whip up their most delectable dishes, made-to-order as you want them—traditional and roasted delicacies and desserts laden with coconut and dollops of Goan cheer. Goa, as a tourist guide told me with a wink, has the most tipple joints per square kilometre.

For you, the year around

Irrespective of the season, Goa brings out aspects of yourself that you have lost touch with—helping you get in touch with yourself at fundamental levels. While in Goa, an energetic freedom permeates every pore of your being. It, unequivocally, brings out the best in you. Because, Goa, simply is all about finding—and losing yourself—in all the seasons.

This was first published in the November 2011 issue of Complete Wellbeing.

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Sikkim is a small state. Just 2740 square miles, neatly divided into East, West, North and South. The state capital, Gangtok is in the North. Gangtok is, unlike most of Sikkim, pretty well developed. Five star hotels, internet cafes and offices dot this hilly capital. Orchids are in full bloom, and an annual orchid show is organised at Gangtok [held mostly in March], that attracts international tourists. Your mind boggles at the sheer variety and colours on display and any trip to Sikkim should always coincide with this flower show.

In fact, the entire North Sikkim is strewn with waterfalls, and frighteningly rough roads, which make them slippery as well. It’s easy for an atheist to become a devout here, I muse, as the mind turns to the Almighty once too often to take you through safely to your destination!

It’s simply overwhelming, this constant tussle between the powerful beauty of the land and its difficult terrain, which darts exclamation marks at every jeep that dares to traverse its roads that are virtual cliff hangers. A mere 40km jeep ride from our hotel in Gangtok to the Tsongmo lake [also known as Changu lake] takes close to two hours, our nerves rattling as much as the jeep. The tyres skid, settle and skid again as they come to grips with the boulders that double up as roads in this terrain that defies every man-made contraption. We marvel at the chatty jeep man’s driving prowess as he takes us from 4700 feet to 12400 feet, deftly willing the jeep into submission.

It’s man versus nature in Sikkim

Tsongmo lake strikes you as an oasis, albeit amidst huge rocky mountains. It is tranquil, serene and after the haranguing trip to reach there, you need that dose of calm and peace. It’s almost as if the landscape has laid out a haven for you after testing your mettle—and the sight of the lake is a reassuring reminder that you’ve made the grade. As a reward, you are treated to the lake that is flanked on all the sides by snow-capped mountains. It’s still here, very still. The waters offer you a crystal-clear, ripple-less reflection as we unmount from the yaks who have trudged there with us. Or rather on whose back we have in turn precariously balanced and clumsily sat on. The gear doesn’t help much in any of these adventures. It’s bitingly cold and though the snow has melted on the lake, its nip and brace is very much present in the air. So we, like all good tourists, flock the makeshift shops that line the path to the lake, and equip ourselves with colourful and warm coats, mufflers, monkey caps, gloves, boots—the works! The boots and the not-made-to-order apparel do get in the way of wading through the melted snow that flows through the pebbles dotting the lake. Then again, we are more than thankful for their shield in protecting us from the icy winds and chilling temperatures that threaten to make icicles of us.

The 360 degree panorama of snow-laced mountains, and the languid lake nestling protectively in its centre, makes for compelling visuals. So we get trigger happy, and the yaks too plod happily into the frame.

Lachung, around 120 kms from Gangtok, is as remote and cut off as it is magnificent. It is cold here and we have been warned that there is no provision for hot water in the rooms as electric supply is erratic. We arrive at an exotic-sounding hotel. However, it fails to live up to its exotic name. The room can accommodate exactly four people and two suitcases, provided those four people do not move around too much. A creaky bed, a creakier wooden floor, and a basic bathroom form the hotel ‘room’. Hotels here are like that…basic. Food facilities are equally basic but fresh. We know for a fact that the food we eat is actually cooked a couple of hours ago and not something that the refrigerator relinquished after holding on for long.

But then, people don’t brave the roads and the basic amenities that Lachung offers for creature comforts. Nature lays out a resplendent show at the Yumthang Valley at 14,000 feet above sea level. Yumthang is home to the Shingba Rhododendron Sanctuary, and has over twenty-four species of the rhododendron, the state flower. But more than that, Yumthang is a vast grazing pasture enclosed on all sides by the splendour of the ice-peaked Himalayas with a tributary of the river Teesta gurgling through the pebbles—framed by the grandeur of clear deep blue skies. Except for the wind chill that engulfs us, everything is perfect—and all is right with the world. Some enterprising souls have put together a makeshift stall of hot chai and soup and nothing warms the heart and tides us through the next couple of hours as much as these steaming cups.

Time tends to stand still at Yumthang. Or more accurately, it ceases to have meaning here. Verdant grasslands are waiting to be walked on; little hillocks throw up myriad photo opportunities, white polished pebbles spring deftly from our hands to be swallowed after rippling in the icy flowing waters… Yumthang has all the makings of a paradise waiting to be discovered. So discover it, we do. In our own way. Stop, stare, internalise, marvel, meander, drift, dream—the green meadows flanked by the whiteness of the ranges bring home the sheer magnitude and exquisiteness of nature with startling clarity. At Yumthang, nature seeps into your being with astonishing ease.

Nathula Pass at a height of 14000 feet above sea level is at the India-China border. Icy winds and heavy snowfall— and slightly low oxygen levels characterise this Pass. Permits need to be obtained to travel here, and can be easily arranged at Gangtok. The Pass is open only on certain days of the week, so check before hand while making travel arrangements.

A large part of Sikkim, with the exception of Gangtok is largely untouched by the advances of the modern world. You come to a land in which nature rules.

If North Sikkim is marked by its gushing waterfalls, West Sikkim is cloaked in mist, a bouquet of fauna, and awash with clouds. Pelling, where we halt, is quaint, straight out of a picture book. Day excursions take us to the Rimbi waterfalls, the Pemyangste Monastery, rock gardens and Yuksom, which means ‘the meeting place of 3 monks’ and was the first capital of Sikkim.

But to really enjoy the solitude of Pelling, simply soak in its array of flowers that make a colourful carpet on the road, take a walk along the wooden houses that line the mountainside. Pelling is also the trekker’s delight, with its scale-worthy peaks, crisp air and challenging trekking terrains.

A holiday to Sikkim in effect means bowing to the nature of nature. Acceding that it is more powerful, compelling and wondrous than us. And then surrendering to its temperament, totally.

This was first published in the July 2011 issue of Complete Wellbeing.

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The area that encloses our individuality, our sense of self, and our comfort zone is called “personal space”. A modern day moniker for the term “proxemics” coined by Edward T Hall, it denotes the region surrounding each person, or that area which a person considers their domain or territory.

Personal territory

Obviously each of us has two distinct boundaries which we erect physically and emotionally – the place we inhabit – which could be our home, our cubicle in office, or simply the dining chair that we occupy everyday and so we consider rightfully ours. The psychological space is an imaginary line that sets the limits for others.

It is this line that makes us move backwards, almost involuntarily when a stranger crosses it while talking to us. It is this boundary that shrinks when interacting with friends. This margin sets the tone of any relationship and rules for inter-cultural interactions.

This enclosed circle that surrounds us defines intimacy and aggression. For immediate family, or in a romantic relationship, it has the narrowest diameter. We let people whom we feel emotionally close to into our personal space easily. On the other hand, if we are arguing or fighting with someone, and that person crosses this line, we take it as an encroachment – an aggressive act. Many people while arguing and fighting deliberately step too close to the other person, invading their psychological territory, to stake their power and confront their adversary.

Again gender dictates this personal sphere. Between two men, the space is always more than between two women. If a man and woman are in a relationship, the space is less as compared to a man and woman who are strangers – that space is the largest. At public events like concerts and games, and crowded marketplaces, in times of distress [floods, and riots] people give up their personal space willingly, since that’s what the situation demands.

Culture dictates this psychological area as much as age and of course, your personality. Obviously, extroverts need a much lesser space around them than introverts. A child growing up in a joint family will get accustomed to less personal space than a child reared in a nuclear family. Again professional choices steer the area of personal space – creative professions crave more space, while those in marketing or “people-oriented” jobs can do with less.

This explains why there are some of us who “need their space”. Too much noise at malls and even at home with the blaring television is enough to rattle some people. It is again an encroachment on personal space. Anything that invades our sense of comfort and individuality, whether sound, light, a leg extended in our direction in the train, an arm resting on the handle next to us at the movie hall, someone staring, a co-worker talking too loudly on the phone in the next cubicle is testing our boundaries. In fact, next time you feel an unexplained rage or irritation, the first thing to do, is to check if your personal space has been violated in any way.

A social identity

Just by observing people interacting with each other will give you an idea of how close they are to each other. Touching while talking to one another is an intimate action that dissolves personal space.

Also, touching someone else’s belongings is a way of sharing their personal space, which is why when an acquaintance or stranger touches our things, we feel a sense of outrage – even if it the car we have parked on the road.

Most aggressive acts including street brawls and road rages can be traced to a violation of personal space.

A survival instinct, ingrained in our evolutionary genes, compels us to mark our territory even today. Whether it is stepping backwards, almost involuntarily, when someone breaches our personal boundaries, or setting up personal mementoes like snaps at our workplace to assign our rights to the area, we assert our identity as individuals even as we recognise our place as social creatures. It is the modern day equivalent of a survival instinct, the human equivalent of the fight-or-flight response in the animal kingdom. This way we ward off psychological predators, and stake a claim in our terrain.

Personal space, though invisible, is an indispensable part of our psyche – giving us our sense of well being and balance, and sheltered within it, we come to terms with our distinct individuality and social identity.

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If you don’t find the solution to your problems here and now – well, the past life is always accessible through hypnotherapy. Levitate to the beyond and it might alleviate your woes right now. If magnets are universaly supposed to attract, for magnet therapists it is used to repel. Diseases, distresses and dilemmas – all are swiftly warded off – with magnetic jewellery, soles and even blankets. Others advocate light therapy. Shine a light on the affected part of your body, and the ailment is banished to the dark. Better still, point a coloured light and they will bestow their healing properties on you. Or, you can also choose to dance your blues away – not at a discotheque but by following certain therapeutic steps that can make the malady beat a hasty retreat.

A large number of people swear by alternative remedies and, they say, it works most effectively, without any adverse side effects. Most alternative therapies address the psyche – a part of a patient that conventional medicine has seldom considered.

So, next time you experience some health problems, you could probably try a dose of some alternative therapy that its practitioners say have yielded miraculous results.

Aroma therapy

Inhale and you shall be cured. Arthritis, insomnia, women’s problems [even something as temperamental as pre/post menstrual syndrome] can be smelt away. Essential oils are the vital solutions to all the aches, pains and angst of the body, and especially the mind. The humble nose is the elixir of beauty, health and fitness.

Deepa Bhatia, who has been practicing aromatherapy for the past 13 years says, “Aromatherapy is scientifically proven. Most hospitals in America have realised that people are very stressed out before surgery – they put lavender oil or mild calming oil through the AC ducts – and it calms the patient as much as 80 per cent. In many cases, the patient doesn’t even need a tranquiliser. There is proper documented proof for all this.”

Aroma therapists use extremely concentrated essential oils – the essence and fragrance that is distilled from fruits, flowers and trees. But, before they are used they are blended since they are very strong and concentrated. “For example, one tonne of rose petals – 1000 kgs will only give you ? litre of rose oil. Because it is so concentrated you cannot use any of them neat [undiluted] on the skin. If you do so, it will burn – you need to blend it with any vegetable oil,” says Bhatia. “You can only use a maximum of three per cent essential oil. Other than tea tree and lavender, which are non allergic, you should not put anything neat on the skin.”

Music therapy

Inarguably, music has extremely soothing, and revitalising properties. Browse through any prominent music stores and you’ll find an array of musical scores to relax, calm, rejuvenate, and energise the body, mind and soul. Music has meditative properties, and so logically – say its practitioners – therapeutic effects too. It has an impact even on unborn children. The strains and notes of music that a pregnant woman listens to, can affect the baby’s emotional and physical well-being.

A raga for every ailment, a special rhythm for each discordant disease, and a “sur” for every straying tendon. Will music be the predominant catalyst in hospitals in the new age then?

A UK trained therapist Wyomia Goveya has done stunning work with challenged children with her music therapy. As she says, “I use a creative approach to music therapy that incorporates “active music-making” rather than passive listening to music. In a music therapy session, the client is given the opportunity to express herself using her body, voice or simple percussion instruments, and to create music with me. Over time, the client forms a communicative musical relationship with me, and through this relationship positive changes and developments can be nourished.”

Goveya says that music heals a range of problems in radical ways, “Music therapists work in a variety of settings and within different clinical fields ” children with special needs including learning difficulties, developmental disorders including autism, emotional/behavioural difficulties, adults with learning difficulties, dementia, neurological problems, mental health issues and also with terminally ill children/adults.”

Dream therapy

If you have a medical problem, it is important for you to remember your dreams. Why? Because, dreams unlock your repressed psyche, tap your subconscious dramas, and help an experienced dream therapist to understand the fundamental cause of your ailment. Treatment is then just a matter of prescribing medicines.

Dreams go where a doctor’s diagnosis cannot go – into uncharted territories of the mind, the angst of the soul and the trials of the psyche. It is in all these places that illness festers and maladies breed. Says Dr Milind Bhatt, a practicing homoeopath, and dream therapist, “While practising homopoethy, we would get a lot of blocks. Even with the right medicines the patient wasn’t getting cured, especially in the irreversible cases. Another hurdle was that the patient would come out with their feelings only to a certain extent – either he was hiding them or wasn’t aware of them. So then we thought what is it that would reveal everything? I then started asking them about their dreams – was there any recurrent dream. When we understand the dream we understand the basic nature and then we can do wonders with medicines.”

With this therapy, Bhatt says, that he has been able to achieve an 80 per cent success rate for conventionally so-called “irreversible” ailments [TB Spine, psoriasis, juvenile diabetes], and 90 per cent for reversible cases [cough, cold]

Art therapy

Drawing is not just a means of creative expression, but now, a stroke of diagnostic luck. The lines which a pencil etches, the colours which splash across a blank white sheet, have their own story to tell. Once your emotions are vented out, it is a catharsis – therapeutic – leading the way to remedial and rehabilitative measures.

An area that is critical especially with special needs children and disturbed adults. “Art therapy for me has been a medium through which I have been able to unlock feelings of disabled children, adults, kids who are going through problems, adults who are going through sexual issues,” says Dr Radhike Khanna, vice-principal of the SP Jain Sadhana School, and an accomplished art therapist. “It is a medium which helps you communicate with your client – every thought is attached with an emotion, and it can’t be expressed through words always.”

Dr Khanna, who has done some path-breaking work with children, says, “Art therapy is also a very individual process. For my doctorate, I created a certain method of doing work with non-communicative, severely handicapped kids, and that became the basis of my work for the last 25 years. The mark that the pencil creates makes an explanation which words cannot put across. It is important for you to probe into the source of thought. Once you know what the child/human being is caught up in, then you can show alternatives in thought patterns and behaviour.

In creativity there is no failure, everything is an expression of that person. When I work, it is a very personal experience with the child; I can build a rapport and am able to move in with the child and enable him to see his block.”

Art therapy, asserts Dr Khanna, empowers children and even adults beautifully. When they come to her, their self esteem is at rock bottom. They work predominantly with black. Slowly, you can see colours creep into their art, and make positive changes. “This is why art therapy is excellent for children with autism.”

In addition to the therapies listed above, there are a range of others that you can choose from depending on your particular inclination –

• Hydrotherapy, which consists of using water for therapeutic purposes.
• Candle therapy, which uses the cadence of candles to heal not only the body, but the spirit as well.
• Chinese food therapy [no, don’t go rushing to the nearest Chinese takeaway for pain relief], that basically cures by the natural nutritive elements of the yin and yang foods.

What all alternative therapies have in common is an accent on the mind to cure the body. They take the inward route to outward medical indications. The psyche is as real to them as the anatomy, the spirit more compelling than the symptoms. Ultimately, it’s mind over matter, and who knows, that may be the truth after all.

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