Vulnerability is good

Emotional and physical independence come easily to men and women these days. I am quite sceptical about ‘open’ and ‘free’ marriages, where husbands and wives give each other the ‘freedom’ to do as they please. Long-distance marriages, which are becoming common nowadays, alarm me.

I always think that it is good to develop a healthy sense of ‘dependence’ on your spouse. I think there is something valuable about a relationship where husband and wife need each other, and are vulnerable without the other’s support.

Are you married strangers?

Consider a couple who are leading “full, active lives” as they put it. The husband is a busy executive; he jet-sets all over the world attending seminars, conferences and business meetings every other day. He entertains customers, foreign collaborators and visiting consultants to lunch or dinner at five-star hotels; and at weekends, he relaxes by playing golf with select friends…

As for the wife, she is ‘into’ yoga and fitness, she visits fashion designers; she is a regular member of the Ladies’ club where she plays cards with her friends every day. She is also learning to design jewellery and hopes to open her own outlet soon.

They are beginning to go in separate revolving circles and are in danger of becoming married strangers. They live under the same roof, eat at the same table and share a bed every night… but they are drifting apart.

They must learn to be flexible. Each should be willing to change, give in just a little for the sake of the marriage. They should spare more time to be in each other’s company. They should spend more time with the children. They should ‘loosen’ their schedules and deadlines so that their marriage does not suffer. They should work for change. They should work to keep their love fresh!

Nobody wants to live an emotionally barren existence. No one likes to live in a separate revolving circle!

The secret is love and patience

A highly respected marriage counsellor tells people: “Take the trouble to study your partner. Make an effort to understand her. Consider him as a rare and fascinating object. Study her constantly. Understand his likes and dislikes. Appreciate her strengths and weaknesses. Be sensitive to his moods and feelings. If you wish to live successfully with your spouse, you must get to know the person better each and every day. You must learn to know what pleases her, you must know what upsets him, you must know when to encourage her and when not to push him too hard. In other words, do not ever take your partner for granted.”

Many men take quick decisions—and having once made up their minds, stick to their guns. Women, on the other hand, have a tough time taking decisions. There are so many issues and considerations which sway them. This calls for a significant adjustment—but it can be accomplished with love and patience.

Keep your love fresh

There was a lady who needed to travel to the US to be with her daughter who was about to give birth to her first child. It was decided that she would travel in February, for the confinement was expected in March. The husband would fly out to join them in April, after the baby was born.

Accordingly, the flight reservations were made. The mother was to fly out on February 1st. On 28^th January, she developed mild blood pressure. The doctor assured them that it was nothing serious, and that she could fly as scheduled.

“I think I’ll fly a little later,” she said to her husband. He readily agreed. The flight was changed to 5^th February, and the daughter was informed.

On 3^rd February, the lady was afflicted with a severe allergy. “I’ll leave on the 10th”, she pleaded with her husband. And he agreed.

On 8th February, she began to suffer from acidity. When the father called his daughter in the US, she said to him, “Papa, I suggest you fly in with Mama. I think she doesn’t want to travel alone without you.”

The husband was a kind and loving man. He said to his wife, “Honey, there’s no need for you to feel so tense. We shall fly together to be with our daughter. Does that make you feel better?”

The wife cheered up instantly. Her numerous afflictions disappeared miraculously. In gratitude and appreciation, she held her husband’s hand and said to him, “Thank you! The truth is that I did not want to leave you and go alone!”

Eventually, the daughter sent them fresh reservations to fly together to the US on the February 14^th—St. Valentine’s Day! They knew how to keep their love fresh!

Excerpted with permission from 10 Commandments of A Successful Marriage by J. P. Vaswani published by Sterling Publishers.

14^th February is Valentine’s Day!

The post Dada Vaswani shows how to keep your love fresh appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Honey contains minerals such as copper, manganese, silicon, chlorine, calcium, potassium, phosphorus, aluminium, and magnesium. It contains all the vitamins and trace elements that nutritionists consider necessary for health: B-vitamins, thiamine, riboflavin, niacin, pantothenic acid, pyridoxine, nicotinic acid, biotin, and ascorbic acid [vitamin C].

What’s more, unlike fruits and vegetables, honey does not lose its vitamins during harvesting, storage, and preparation.

Organic honey also contains amino acids and enzymes, which help in digestion. Thus, consuming organic honey ensures a good supply of necessary nutrients to the body; the glucose and fructose in organic honey provide instant energy.

Natural honey is known to have myriad medicinal qualities. You can use it as a first-aid remedy, a conditioner for your hair, in your cooking, or simply as a “pick-me-up”. Let’s understand the nutritional goodness of organic honey in detail.

Nutritional value

Apart from its pristine purity, honey is a source of energy that comes combined with protein, vitamins, enzymes and more. One spoonful of honey, daily, is recommended for everybody: from children to adults.

The exact composition of honey varies with the type of flower, the type of soil, the season of the year, and weather conditions at the time of collection. The darker honeys have the highest mineral content. It contains four times as much iron as lighter honeys. Another quality of honey is that, when compared with the same amount of sugar, it gives 40 per cent less calories to the body. Although it provides great energy to the body, it does not add weight. This makes it a realistic, natural substitute for sugar in your coffee, tea, juice etc.

Digestion

Honey is made up of simple sugars, converted by a secretion from the bees’ salivary tract. It is, therefore, easily and quickly absorbed as a source of quick energy.

Since honey promotes the correct working of the digestive organs, it can be taken as a laxative. Babies whose diet includes honey rarely suffer from colic.

Healing properties

Do you have a cut? Organic honey is a natural antiseptic. Medical literature cites hundreds of cases in which honey was employed to treat wounds. By applying honey to your wounds, you can prevent infections. Honey contains anti-microbial agents, which prevent infections by killing the bacteria in and around your wounds. When honey is used, it helps to heat up the area around the wound [Caution: Test the heat before you place it around/on the wound].

Many types of bacteria can’t survive in honey, so wounds heal, the swelling eases, and tissues grow back to health. Studies have shown that burns, too, can heal better with honey.

The advantage of natural honey is that it not only prevents infections from occurring, it actually accelerates skin healing. Since the sugar in honey absorbs water, it helps to trap some of the moisture, so bacteria and other microbes can’t grow as easily in honey as in other food.

Honey can absorb moisture, and it has been prized for its mild antibiotic properties for centuries, due to this fact. Where bacteria are trapped in honey, honey can absorb moisture from the bacteria and kill them. Gargling with honey water is effective in treating infections of the throat.

To get relief from cough, add three tsp of lemon juice, one tsp of honey, and half tsp of ginger juice to half a cup of warm water. Drink this solution, three times a day.

Honey Tips

• Honey should be stored in a dry place as it absorbs and retains moisture
• High temperatures affect the flavour of honey. Products should, therefore, be baked at lower temperatures [300-350°C] for a longer period of time
• Honey is sweeter than sugar. One tsp of honey is equivalent in sweetness to 1.5 tsp sugar
• Cakes, puddings, biscuits and sweets will stay fresh and longer when made with honey. If you are experimenting with honey in a recipe, try replacing half the sugar with honey as the flavour can be very strong. Honey is hygroscopic [meaning it attracts water] so it is good for baking cakes as it keeps them moist for long
• You can also try fresh bread, sliced and buttered with a layer of organic honey — a simple sandwich that is delicious and quick anytime
• Measuring unit: 1 tsp of honey = 20 calories; 1 tbsp = 60 calories.

Beauty

Many hand and body lotions, facial creams, soaps and depilatories [hair-removing creams] contain honey. Honey can penetrate tiny crevices through which even water will not pass. It, therefore, makes an excellent emollient [skin softening cream] as well as a protective, germ-proof shield. Thanks to its vitamin, mineral, and amino acid content, honey is a wonderful beauty aid. Its anti-bacterial properties make it a good cleanser. It nourishes the skin and the hair.

Here are some beauty potions you can make and use with honey:

• Honey mixed with ground almonds makes an excellent facial cleansing scrub
• A tbsp of honey whisked together with an egg white, one tsp of glycerine and about 1/4 cup of flour makes an excellent firming mask. Just smooth on the face, leave on for 15 minutes, and rinse with warm water. You will be pleased with the results
• Honey also makes a great moisturising pack. Just mix two tbsp of honey with two tsp of whole milk, smooth over the face and neck, and let it do its job for 15 minutes. Rinse with warm water, and finish splashing cold water
• Honey also makes a great lotion for dry patches of skin on hands, elbows, or other parts. Just mix one tsp of honey with one tsp of olive oil, and a 1/2 tsp of lemon juice. Apply to hands, elbows, heels of your foot etc., and wash off after 15 minutes. This provides fast relief!
• Honey works well on chapped lips and acne, because it has anti-bacterial properties
• To give your hair lustrous shine, mix one tsp of honey in four cups of warm water. Use as a hair rinse. And, if you’re a blond, add the juice of one lemon too
• Mix one tbsp of honey with a cup of warm water. Use it as a mouthwash. Honey cleans teeth and dentures, and kills germs in the mouth.

Relish the goodness of honey and ensure sweetness and good health in your life.

Recipe: Coconut & Honey-Stuffed Pea Cutlet

Ingredients:

• 1/2 cup coconut
• 2 tbsp honey
• 2 tbsp lemon juice
• 8-10 cashew nuts
• 2 cups boiled and mashed peas
• 3/4 cup rice flour
• 2 tbsp salt
• Paste of 3-4 green chillies
• 1 tsp garam masala
• Tomato sauce or chutney for garnishing

Method:

1. Mix the coconut, honey and lemon juice. Make small round balls by stuffing cashew nuts into it.
2. Mix mashed pea, rice flour, salt, green chilli paste and garam masala. Make dough.
3. Make round flattened balls by pressing on your palm.
4. Fill the coconut stuffing inside the balls. Give them a round shape.
5. Heat oil in a pan. Deep fry all cutlets. Place on a tissue paper to remove extra oil.
6. Serve with sauce or chutney.

Last updated on 27^th September 2019

The post Discover the terrific health benefits of organic honey appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.