When I was speaking in Tajikistan some time ago, I complimented one of my participants on the ‘sleek’ shirt he was wearing. The next day, he brought me a new shirt exactly like the one he was wearing. I later learned that it is a Tajik tradition to give away the item someone likes and compliments you on. We are talking about one of the poorest countries in the world—now that is true richness!

Using your power

The Corporate Sufi believes that everyone is blessed with power. Some use power wisely and some don’t; many never use their power at all.

Imagine that your Creator offered you the power to have anything you wanted and to do whatever you wanted. What would you ask for? What would you do? Stop thinking about it, because the truth is you already have all the power you need to fulfil your wishes.

If you only want to achieve business success, then all your actions will gravitate towards that single goal. If you also want to achieve balance and to journey beyond, your actions will reflect those goals. The path you choose is up to you.

Your potential challenges to implementing this commitment may include:

• Not knowing how to find your innate gift
• Conditioning from childhood that stifles your gift
• Lacking a goal larger than yourself
• Missing a purpose and focus that will engage your gift
• Fearing the thought of leaving the status quo
• Having an inferiority complex or a lack of self-belief
• Worrying about giving of yourself and being taken advantage of
• Being self-centred.

You have been born with an innate gift. It is the one thing that allows you to live up to your highest potential. When you are using your gift, you are the best you can possibly be, free from fear and other constraints, and full of abundance and life. However, many people go through life without realising what their birth-day gift is, and many die without ever having opened it. It seems a terrible waste to go through life without opening your gift.

The Sufi philosophy affirms that we have all been born with a great gift, although most of us never open it because we are distracted and tempted by dazzling toys and the complications of life, which are only temporary. We forget the real purpose of why we are here and what we need to accomplish.

The Corporate philosophy is similar. The more people focus on their natural strengths, the more excitement and joy they find in their work. The more you focus on employees and on building corporate strength, the more productivity is achieved. However, not all organisations recognise or understand how to champion this philosophy in the workplace.

The Corporate Sufi philosophy leverages your inherent talent or strengths—your gift to make a positive difference in the lives of others.

You are a miracle

You are a miracle! A unique, special and precious human being! There is no one like you in the entire world. No one can smile like you, think like you, walk like you, talk like you or serve like you. From billions of people who have come into this world, no one has been like you. You are special, precious and powerful.

My cousin Asheef and his wife, Denise, were blessed with a baby boy recently. Denise, after being pregnant for nine months, underwent a C-section after 30 hours of labour in hospital before the baby was born. My wife, Farzana, my daughter, Sahar, and I went to see mother and child. While holding the baby, I noticed how alert he was, despite being less than a day old. His big eyes and expressions left me marvelling at creation and how a baby comes into being from the mother’s womb…so full of potential even as early as day one on earth!

When you reflect on creation, witness the birth of a child, observe how the day turns into night and night into day or see the seasons changing, you begin to appreciate the miracle of life.

You are a miracle, and you possess enormous power within, but you need to open your innate gift before you shine. William James, the father of modern psychology, said, “The average person rarely achieves but a small portion of his or her potential.” You may be scared to jump into your inner calling—but if you are stuck in the pond, you will never experience the bounty of the water in the ocean.

In Fihi Ma Fihi, Rumi, the Sufi giant, says, “You have a duty to perform. Do anything else, do a number of things, occupy your time fully, and yet, if you do not do this task, all your time will have been wasted.” In other words, you can do hundreds of things, but if you do not do this one thing that you have a duty to do, you have wasted your life. What is this one thing you must do?

Finding your calling

How do you find your true calling and gift? If you feel it is not practical to find and utilise your gift because of outside constraints, then you are ‘dead’ even before you start. Which means you will never find it because you do not believe it is possible. To find your calling, ask yourself these questions:

• What makes you tick?
• What kind of work makes you lose track of time?
• What kind of work would you do if you won a $40-million lottery? How would it change your life?
• What would you dare to do if you knew that you would not fail at it, no matter what?
• Where can you make the most difference?
• On your deathbed, what is the one regret you would have?
• Reflect on your funeral—what would you like people you care about to say about you?

These questions bring a deeper understanding and perspective about what is important to you.

Meditation is one powerful vehicle to connect to your inner self. Through this practice, you gradually gain insight into your innate gifts. Keeping a daily journal heightens your awareness and brings clarity about who you are, not who you think you are. The cause that excites you the most will give you an indication of what you are passionate and care about.

I wrote this as part of my eulogy: “Azim was a loving father, son, husband and human being. He shined his light and inspired others to shine their light. He lived and worked to his full potential and made a positive difference to one and all, especially those who were less advantaged. May his soul rest in eternal peace. Amen.”

By being clear about what you aspire to be, it becomes easier to invite and attract the right circumstances to lead you to it. Looking back from your deathbed also puts things in perspective and attracts attention to your purpose in life and the accompanying gift you were born with.

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Despite the concerns, there is clear evidence that compassion in the workplace makes business sense. It not only improves workplace culture, but can also help your company’s bottom line. Cultivating a compassionate environment serves as a win-win situation for everyone.

Here are three important benefits of compassion at the workplace:

1. Employee retention

One of the many benefits of compassion in the workplace is improved employee retention. After all, would you rather work for a boss who yells at you and threatens that your job might be at stake when you ask to go home early because you aren’t feeling well? Or would you prefer the boss who cheers you on and shows understanding when you have to call in sick because you’ve got the flu? Creating a compassionate workplace is one of the best ways to retain employees over the long haul.

2. Decreased stress

One effective way employees can reduce their stress is by gaining support from co-workers. In a compassionate environment the boss doesn’t hover around the water cooler shouting for everyone to get back to work. Instead, employees are given time to engage in healthy amounts of conversation.

When allowed to linger for a few minutes during breaks and hallways, employees are likely to strike up conversations about what goes on in their lives outside the office. Discussions about family, children and hobbies begin to occur. A 2012 study published in BMC Public Health showed that when employees feel like they’re bonding, their stress levels decrease. And decreased stress means employees are less likely to burn out and more likely to be productive.

3. Improved health

Positive social interactions also lead to physical health benefits, according to a 2008 study published in the Academy of Management Review. A few minutes of mingling with co-workers every day can help lower blood pressure and decrease heart rate. These beneficial physiological changes boost employees’ immune systems, reduce absenteeism and help bring down company’s healthcare costs too. What’s more, employees who are in good health tend to be more productive.

Research also shows that fostering better health has a domino effect that helps the employees’ entire family. When employees feel better, they’re more likely to exhibit behaviour that can have a positive impact on their families—such as cooking healthier meals and taking part in physical activities. When entire families are healthy, employees are less likely to use their sick leave.

Compassion and social support has been linked to faster recovery from illness. Sending flowers to a co-worker after she’s had a baby or providing meals to a manager who has had surgery are just a few simple gestures that can help people feel better faster. Managers who want to foster compassion can create opportunities for employees to help one another —such as allowing workers to donate sick leave to people with long-term illnesses.

Contagious and reciprocal

While many business leaders fear that showing compassion will cause employees to take advantage of their graciousness, research shows the opposite is true. When leaders behave in a compassionate and cooperative manner, employees are more likely to reciprocate.

A 2010 study published in PNAS found that cooperative behaviour cascades in human networks. In a series of studies, participants repeatedly showed a desire to pay-it-forward. Each person who was treated kindly, wanted to extend generosity toward others.

People feel good about themselves when they’re treated with compassion. As a result, they tend to want to extend those positive feelings to others. Office productivity is much more likely to soar when co-workers are cooperating, rather than competing with one another’s efforts.

Creating a culture of compassion

Creating a culture of compassion involves reducing hardships and taking steps to build relationships. Here are a few examples of ways leaders can foster compassion:

• Connect new hires with relationally skilled employees. Ensure that newcomers are allied with people who can answer questions and assist them in getting their needs met.
• Encourage socialisation. Rather than chastise employees for chatting in the hallways or at the coffee vending machine, provide opportunities for them to connect with one another. Allowing time for employees to connect with one another on a human level can increase their workplace satisfaction.
• Incorporate support into the workplace. Rather than telling employees to ‘toughen up’ when they express difficulties doing their work, invite suggestions that could improve the environment.

Small steps, big difference

The good news: any organisation can introduce compassion to the workplace. A few small steps at a time can begin to make a big difference—cheerful greetings, conversations about family members, or simply delivering an employee a much needed cup of coffee can set the tone for a compassionate environment. Showing people you care, and creating policies that foster compassion, are simple but effective ways to improve business.

This was first published in the May 2015 issue of Complete Wellbeing.

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Between that mike at Connaught Place and the mikes at the large auditoriums or boardrooms across the world today—life has been kind to me. I had to change a lot about myself to get where I am today, including my long, flowing hair! My denim-and-leather–jacket look was too casual and got replaced with ‘how formal people wanted to see me’. I had to adopt a suited up image so that I could project a ‘successful professional’ image to the world. Being a motivational speaker has been a transformational, sometimes exasperating and completely inspiring experience. Here are some of the lessons that my chosen profession has taught me.

People don’t like to change

The last ten years of being a motivational speaker have not been easy. I have realised that people are not inspired to change simply because you offer them a better alternative. They change only when something that they truly value gets threatened. I’d say that’s the most profound observation about people I’ve made in my entire career as a coach. People may listen to motivational speakers or read inspiring books, but they only change when change is the only option left. I realised that my role as a success coach is to help them figure out the right direction of their life and to give them incentive to stay on their true paths.

This is my yardstick for measuring an effective motivational speaker: If in an audience of a 100 people, two or three people report a lasting change after a few months, you are an awesome motivational speaker.

Sadly, the success rate in my industry is that low! I can only help someone change an aspect of their life if they really desire the change.

Silence is good

Let me make a big confession. I am Punjabi and a speaker which means I am supposed to be an extrovert. But that’s just not true! If anything, in this last decade, I have learned that to be a good speaker—the kind that not only talks well but also gives out rich content—you need to be an introvert. 95% of the content in my events is obtained from observation. And that requires some serious off-the-stage-keeping-quiet skills. The depth of understanding about people and their ways comes from solitude. Behind that entire glamour is quietude and solitude. And to be honest, it feels good to be quiet after you have spoken for 4 hours straight!

Coaching is funny business

Humour and sarcasm has always been my style. And here I think I got lucky. My friends and classmates always regarded me as a funny person. I confess that this quality gives me an advantage in the world of motivational speaking. Anyone can do a session with a bunch of linguistically perfect sentences and parroted clichéd lines from self-help books. However, the impact of such a session is lost the moment the audience leaves the auditorium. The key to having an impressive lecture is to marry content with your own unique style of presentation. And every speaker needs that style, that unique selling point. In coaching as in elsewhere, being funny is serious business.

Get used to criticism

The other thing that being a speaker has taught me is—you cannot make everyone happy! For every five “Thank you” messages that I receive, there is one person who writes to me saying that I am cheap and indecent [not everyone can take humour]. I have learned to look beyond those 500 criticisers towards the 6, 50,000+ believers who have benefited out of my words in some small way. That’s the only gratification I am looking for.

Patience is a virtue

From the outside, the world of motivational speaking may look glamorous. However, the reality, as my fellow speakers would know, is different. There’s a lot going on behind the scenes. It takes a lot of hard work and perseverance to build credibility. You reap your rewards gradually, not immediately. I took more than 10 years to become slightly known! Recognition comes after years of working on your website, your elite client list, your videos, your images, and your media presence. If the total units of effort in a motivational speaker’s life are 100 then the first 50 units are onerous and uphill, whereas the remaining 50 are zippy and fun. In the last half of this profession’s lifespan people make heroes out of you and celebrate you and this validates the first half of donkey work.

Cons of success

In my experience, these are the two main occupational hazards of being a motivational speaker:

• You will be literally living out of your suitcase, and after some 15–20 days of travel your family might allow you entry into your own home after showing some proof of identification.
• You will get so much attention from the opposite gender that, if you fail to practise what you preach or do not handle a situation with grace, you will ruin your reputation and career.

It’s all worth it

Sometimes I forget which city I am waking up in because there is so much stress of travel and daily events during peak work times. However, I don’t have any regrets. In the end, the overall positives of being a motivational speaker outweigh the relatively few negatives. And nothing compares to the joy of realising that I have changed someone’s life with my humour and words. When someone comes up to me and says, “You have changed my life today,” it’s the best feeling ever. Every bone in my body then wants to do more and more of what I have been doing all these years.

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