Hundreds of thoughts go through one’s mind at any given time. Your work may be challenging, or you have been fired, or you are facing problems in a relationship. These thoughts often have no particular direction. You need to rise above your thoughts, to become the “sky” in the metaphor. That way, you become the objective listener to your thoughts. This sets you on the path of self-awareness.

Awareness is the starting point of every quest. Without awareness, we flounder along the path. Awareness removes digressions and shows a clear path ahead.

However, being aware is not a goal—it is an ongoing practice of mindfulness. So how do we increase our awareness?

Awareness demands that we have greater clarity and honesty in all aspects of our life. We understand what others are trying to communicate to us at a deeper and more realistic level. We’re able to be honest with ourselves about our faults and our positive traits, and we have a greater ability to lead. The benefits of heightened awareness include accepting that we are responsible for our actions, expectations and beliefs and how they influence what we do. It helps us notice our patterns [good and bad] and work towards channelling our negative emotions into constructive actions.

Why we judge others

People often judge others, yet most people don’t really know themselves. It is difficult to know yourself, and almost impossible to know another person completely. This is why so many people are intent on judging others—they’re afraid to learn about themselves. Aristotle has thus rightly said: “To know thyself is the highest wisdom.”

Heightening awareness can seem like a tall order for those of us who block out the world in order to focus on our own life. But heightened awareness won’t take your attention away from the necessary tasks in your life. On the contrary, there is a huge upside to this in terms of progress in the corporate world, and you getting more respect from your colleagues, clients and family.

A simple way is to write a regular journal. It can be as little as jotting down a few bullet points before you go to bed. Ask yourself: What did I learn about myself at work today? What did I learn at home? What made me happy and what made me unhappy today and why? What are my goals?

Heightened awareness also helps us differentiate between reality and wishful thinking. Many people lead an illusionary life [a life built on how they wish things would be, but not how they are], which prevents them from getting to the root of problems. As a result, they fail to deliver. For example, when you get angry with another driver, you believe your anger has been triggered by his poor driving. But in reality, you are stressed out because you have missed the deadline for an important project. Awareness allows you to be mindful of what is really going on and why you are reacting the way you are.

Do you listen actively?

Awareness is also practised through active listening—listening with your eyes, ears and heart. Give your undivided attention and remain non-judgmental. Your relationship with your family can be tenuous without active listening because a deep understanding of each other is missing. The same applies to business relationships; with customers, colleagues or other stakeholders. You can enrich every relationship with active listening.

In the corporate world, being aware of the moods of individuals and teams can offer valuable insights. You need to know if your employees feel valued or de-motivated. Heightened awareness helps you fix situations where your employees may feel less than great.

Awareness also means you have a deeper understanding of what is going on in your business. You are aware of what is most important to you. Being aware means not only that you are clear about your vision, mission, values and strategy, but also whether your team and your actions are aligned with them.

Ways to develop a heightened awareness

1. Accept that your awareness can always be enhanced.

2. Ask yourself: What frustrates me? What bothers me?  What excites me? What do I do well? What can I do better? What does success mean to me? What makes me happy? What takes me away from who I am?

3. Have one-to-one meetings with associates, customers, family members, colleagues and your spouse to find out how they’re feeling. Keep an open mind during discussions and listen actively. When you’re upset about something, ask: what else could it be?

4. Sharpen your awareness of your team members: are they putting in their best? What are the gaps between actual outcome vis-à-vis the expected outcome? Who are the performers/non-performers? What will take them to the next level?

5. Deepen your awareness of your business. Evaluate what is being achieved from a qualitative and quantitative standpoint, and have a mechanism for evaluation. Then determine the one thing you can do which gives you the highest leverage on your time, and focus on it. Set weekly, monthly, quarterly and yearly goals and evaluate your progress regularly.

6. Develop a deeper awareness of your offerings: What are their strengths and weaknesses? Which products and services do clients really like and which do not add much value?

7. Be aware of your customer mix: Who are the 20 per cent customers giving you 80 per cent of the business? Give special attention to those customers.

8. As noted earlier, write in a journal—about what’s going on in your life—to get to the root of any problem. Write in a journal before addressing a problem directly with the person concerned, or read your journal before going for an important meeting. Soon after you begin writing, you’ll find that you’re more aware of your behaviour, your business and people around you. As little as 5 – 10 minutes a day spent writing can help clarify issues.

The post How fine-tuning your awareness can make you more successful appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Have you noticed that when you’re thinking about choosing a particular brand of car, you keep noticing that brand everywhere you go? Or if you are expecting a baby, you seem to see more pregnant women than you did before? Brian says in his seminars that you are a “living magnet”, you invariably attract the right people, ideas and opportunities into your life that are harmonious with your goals.

Focus boosts positive coincidences

When you focus on a goal, the reticular activating system [RAS] a part of your brain that functions as a filter to process over four hundred billion bits of information per second that you are exposed to every single day, searches for people, places and circumstances to support what you are thinking about. Simply put, if you have well-defined goals, RAS will direct your attention towards people, events and opportunities that can help achieve your aspirations.

David Letterman, the late-night funny man, started his career with a flop. After a string of guest appearances on comedy shows, sitcoms and game shows, Letterman finally landed a hosting gig for a TV pilot called The Riddlers.

The series was a bust. But Letterman got noticed by the producers of The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. He soon became a regular guest, and eventually a TV talk show host who earned $40 million a year.

Jazz musician James Morrison and his brother were trying to make it big in New York, but ended up playing music on the streets. They made enough money to get a burger from Burger Boy, and within hours of eating his burger, James was flying business class, eating smoked salmon on his way to Europe for a major jazz tour. It turned out that a waiter at Burger Boy spotted his trumpet and put the Morrisons in touch with an agent who urgently needed a replacement for a sick soloist.

Examples of coincidences often appear to be simply accidents. However, as Albert Einstein said: “Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous.”

Have you never experienced positive coincidences?

If you have faith that the Universe is there to help you, you will find this concept easier to accept. But if you have never experienced positive coincidences, you may be wondering why. Here are a few reasons:

• You have goals but no burning desire. You do not make enough effort to succeed, giving the Universe mixed signals and confusing the outcome
• Your desire is not consistent
• Your actions and desires are not aligned
• You are not grateful for the good things that happen to you
• You accomplish many things but don’t acknowledge or are shy to acknowledge your successes or are too self-critical, leading to weakening of morale and enthusiasm
• You have poor awareness. You fail to see the connection between your desires, actions and results, eventually leading to missed results
• You do not affirm and visualise your goals regularly.

Problems are stepping stones

Many of us avoid uncertainty because we fear negative outcomes. However, even a negative outcome can lead us in the right direction. An unhappy experience in your life, like losing your job, can open new career avenues for you. But if you ignore the learning and instead just focus on the negative experience, you will invite more of the same. On the other hand, if you treat them as another chapter in the narrative of success, you’ll find it easier to draw positive solutions.

The important thing to remember is that problems affect everyone.

Steve Jobs could have felt victimised after he was fired from Apple. He chose to react differently. After his dismissal, he saw opportunity where others couldn’t. He went on to lead a small animation company and turned it into the juggernaut that is now Pixar. When The Walt Disney Company bought Pixar in 2006, Jobs became the largest shareholder in Disney. Moral of the story: when unwanted changes happen, look beyond them and see the opportunity they might contain.

Learn to recognise coincidences

Challenge yourself with the following “How to” exercises

1. Become aware of what is going on in your life and start actively looking for the coincidences. You strengthen what you focus on.
2. Record all the coincidences you observe in a week and analyse them to see how they brought you closer to your goals.
3. Express gratitude for every event that brings you closer to your goals.
4. Set clear goals—yearly, quarterly, monthly, weekly and visualise them twice every day. The clearer your goals, the more you invite positive coincidences.
5. Align your goals with a larger selfless purpose. When you want to help others, the Universe wants to help you.
6. Trust that all coincidences are there to help you, even though you may not think so at the time.
7. During each encounter, ask yourself: How does this incident bring greater awareness into my life?
8. When you face obstacles, view them as learning opportunities.

What is important is that you learn to recognise coincidences, and use them to help you reach your goals. You then begin to look at every setback as a stepping-stone to success.

The post How to create positive coincidences in your life appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Contrary to what we may think, striking a work-life balance doesn’t make us less effective. In fact, it only makes us better workers than those who burn themselves out by focussing on work at the cost of family, health and harmony. Many senior executives complain that they have too many demands, too many interruptions and distractions. They struggle to prioritise and end up firefighting despite their best efforts. For them, work-life balance is an aspiration, albeit an elusive one. They often feel that if they eke out time for their family and personal needs, they will fall behind in their careers.

All of us are blessed with the same 168 hours in a week. However, while a few achieve breakthroughs in life, the majority merely trudge along, wondering why they can never find time to do the things they want to. It is not just that harmony benefits your life—lack of harmony hurts it, in real tangible ways. The ability to concentrate and use your time well is important if you want to succeed in business or in other areas of your life, and a well-balanced life is the best tool for that. When you are spiritually, mentally, physically, socially and economically balanced, then you’re successful in the real sense.

The key is to look after your business, your balance [work, health, social circle and family] and your beyond [spirituality, giving, purpose]; and not prioritise one over the other. Paying equal attention to all three aspects will strengthen you as a person.

The World Health Organization estimates that stress costs American businesses $300 billion a year. The 2012 Workplace Survey released by the American Psychological Association suggests that many Americans report chronic work-related stress. Around 41 per cent said they “feel tense or stressed out during the workday,” an uptick from the previous year’s 36 per cent. In its annual wellness report, Employee Assistance Program provider ComPsych found that 38 per cent of employees can’t stop thinking about emotional, health, financial or job concerns.

Work-life balance not only results in happiness and personal success, it can even lead to business innovation. Richard Branson, founder of Virgin Group, has noted that some of his best ideas come when he engages his children in conversations about his work.

Melinda Gates sums it up well: “The only thing I care about on the day I die is that people think I was a great mom, family member, and friend.”

Challenge yourself with the following “How to” exercises to

• MAKE balance a personal priority and be clear what balance means to you. As Dr. Stephen Covey puts it, “first things first”: making sure that business, balance and beyond all play their parts.
• SPEND time with loved ones; also set aside time to improve your health and do things that matter to you, like pursuing a hobby. If you don’t spend quality time with yourself and your loved ones, someone or something less important will take up your time.
• PREPARE a “not to do” list, not a “to do” list. This will remove non-essentials from your life. How do you make it? List everything that must be done in your life; delegate as much as you can; next, eliminate what is not necessary, then prioritise and execute what is left.
• PRACTISE the Hour of Power: 20 minutes of exercise, 20 minutes of reading and 20 minutes of meditation each morning.
• OBSERVE the Power of the Hour: schedule an appointment with yourself midday to regroup, reflect and reprioritise. This will make your afternoons more productive.
• RECORD how your time is spent. When you do this, you become more aware and alert, thereby improving your focus and allocation of time.
• REMEMBER that slow is fast—when you slow down and spend more time with your family, you notice a lot more about them, and have time to actually hear them out. Consequently, your relationships get better as your attention and care create impact. Or, as another example, if you start eating slowly, you can enjoy your food better and feel full faster.
• FOCUS on the 20 per cent of things that give you 80 per cent of value.
• WRITE the top three goals you want to accomplish the next day before you go to bed, and work on them exclusively [at least till 2pm the next day]. Then you can take care of smaller tasks.
• SPEND quality time with business partners, colleagues, customers, spouse, children and parents.
• DEFINE what a successful day and week means to you. Then set about achieving it.
• DEVELOP the attitude that you will manage time, and not that time will manage you!

The post The effortless way to work-life balance appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Rather, they “were constantly testing themselves through real-world experiences and reframing their life stories to understand who they were at their core. In doing so, they discovered the purpose of their leadership and learned how being authentic made them more effective.”

Are you living a lie?

A lot of people fear being themselves because they feel they won’t be liked or accepted. If someone likes you when you are living a lie, he may stop associating with you when he finds out the real you; because sooner or later, truth reveals itself. By pretending to be someone you are not just for garnering attention, you are most likely to end up attracting the wrong people.

Not being yourself can also lead to a no-win situation. If you are not a genuine expression of yourself, the acclaim of your colleagues and your friends will amount to little. It is important that you like yourself first, and that can only happen if you allow yourself to be true to your inner being.

Authenticity is not just the key to a long-lasting career; it is the key to developing real, meaningful power

Costco co-founder and former CEO, Jim Sinegal, answered his own phone line, maintained a small office, paid himself a salary far lower than that of his peers and wore a nametag that simply said, “Jim”. This made him wildly popular with his employees, and left him with the lowest employee turnover rate in the retail industry.

McDonald’s founder Ray Kroc expected all employees to keep McDonald’s clean and did not exempt himself from the job—he picked up the garbage found in the parking lots of every McDonald’s outlet that he visited.

Authentic leadership is the only leadership that endures, because it exists as a function of the individual rather than a crowd of borrowed opinions.

The key to real power

Authenticity is not just the key to a long-lasting career; it is the key to developing real, meaningful power. Charisma, though an important quality of leadership, can lead to destructive behaviour if it’s not tethered to authentic values. Jordan Belfort [the stockbroker whose crimes were dramatised in the film, The Wolf of Wall Street] and Bernard Madoff used their charisma to swindle people out of their life’s savings. Both these men had power but it was not tethered to good, authentic values. Real power comes from authenticity.

If you want your success to be sustainable, if you want it to have a strong foundation, if you want it to have purpose and meaning, there is no other way than to be authentic.

Be careful about judging others because you do not know what they are going through

Your inner light shines through you when you are credible and trustworthy, and honest enough to admit to your limitations. The reality is that even with all your limitations, you are still unique and special. Embrace who you are, flaws and all. If you try to be someone else, you only become a ‘second-best someone’. As they say: “Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.”

Challenge yourself with the following ‘How to’ exercises:

ACCEPT and realise your imperfections. Shortcomings are part of who you are. Accepting this makes you powerful because now you can understand and relate to others. You will also be more open to feedback, guidance, and constructive criticism.

LIVE a life of honesty and integrity. It’s likely that you will succeed in some areas, but not in others. View every gap as an opportunity to grow.

KNOW that being different is good. Your USP comes from being different and unique. Achievers like Michael Jordan, Steve Jobs and JK Rowling were often regarded as eccentric or reckless.

RADIATE confidence. When you are authentic, you can be confident that you are doing the right thing. You can also have confidence that the people in your life who are not aligned with you are not supposed to be in your life anyway.

BE non-judgemental. Be careful about judging others because you do not know what they are going through.

ADMIT mistakes and apologise because this builds trust. This may seem hard because we fear that we may appear incompetent. However, small inadequacies in life are normal and can be accepted by almost everyone. Dishonesty and cover-ups are far worse.

PRACTICE courage. Speak the truth and allow yourself to be vulnerable. For example, in a staff meeting, ask for help if you need it, ask a question, speak up about a concern you may have. Don’t worry about what others may think. By expressing yourself authentically, you inspire others in your team to be real and take timely action.

BE true to yourself. Before embarking on something, ask: Does this feel right to me? When you are true to yourself, you are generally true to others.

The post Are you being an authentic leader? appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Studies show that people who multi-task are less effective at their work, as compared to those who focus on one task at a time. Attention requires mental and physical energy that your body can create only in limited amounts. Focussing on anything consumes a considerable amount of glucose from your body and brain. This means distractions take a mental and physical toll on us.

Research also indicates that distractions take up almost two hours a day for most employees, most of whom only spend 11 minutes working on a project before they become distracted by something else, after which it takes them 25 minutes to refocus. So, in addition to affecting you at a personal level, distractions also have an adverse impact on your daily business targets.

Why do we get distracted?

Why do we get distracted so easily? Well, aside from distractions created by others, most of us become distracted by thinking about the past, the future… any time but the present. You have a limited amount of energy, especially for tasks that are not uplifting or relevant. Therefore, whenever you engage in less important tasks, you deplete your energy.

When you are in the present moment, you’re able to powerfully engage with those around you. Being alert and aware of the present moment, besides enhancing your productivity, also functions as an excellent tool for gleaning critical insights from your environment, and this helps you to make well thought out decisions at work.

For example, when you meet with your team, you can have two different types of meetings. One is where you are alert and open to both the verbal and non-verbal cues of your team, which helps you gather critical information to decide the next course of action. The second is where you have already made up your mind, and the meeting is held merely to manipulate others to accept your point of view; hence, you receive no valuable feedback from team members, which leads to sub-par performance.

How to come back to the present

During the course of your work it’s easy to miss the present moment and get overwhelmed with the demands of the day. Here are a few simple exercises that can help you regain your present-moment awareness. Use them at every opportunity.

1. Every hour, stop and ask: Am I really present in this moment? If not, what are my thoughts focussed on? Doing this often will help you return to the present moment.

You may wonder how to practise this if you are already doing an activity that is very engaging. Taking a moment to reflect on these questions will help you assess if you are really present and focussed on the priority task—which is good—or if you are focussed on a less important task.

2. Spend a few minutes each day with Nature; it will calm you. Watch a tree’s leaves move when the wind blows, reflecting non-resistance. While looking at the ocean, see the abundance, neutrality and oneness of the Universe. Nature has many messages for us and this practice will help separate your good thoughts from the cluttered ones. Spending some quiet time alone each day is essential to your inner wellbeing.

3. When in the moment, look at difficulties you have and ask: “What can I learn from this problem?” How is this problem affecting you in the larger scheme of things? Think about one thing you can do to minimise the problem and act upon it right away.

Why this approach? Because, it takes you away from worrying about the problem, which is pointless. Instead, you can view the problem from a distance and the objectivity will help you act on the problem. This will minimise the mental energy you invest in it and also offer a realistic perspective on the situation.

4. Ask yourself: “What can I do in the present moment to create a positive impact?

5. Say thank you a few times in a day for all the good things in your life. As you count your blessings, they multiply.

6. When driving, observe your surroundings, listen to music or an educational audio to stay in the present moment and avoid fretting about the serpentine traffic.

7. Forgive someone in the present moment by giving them the benefit of the doubt. This is liberating! Start with small things, such as when someone does not thank you for a favour you did, or when someone fails to apologise when they accidentally push you. As you get good at this, you will realise how much negative energy you stave off. This will help you forgive bigger transgressions, such as pardoning someone for taking away some of your business or cheating you on an investment deal.

8. Think of someone you care about and send loving thoughts in the present moment.

The post 8 simple ways to bring yourself to the present moment appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

A few years ago I was in Tajikistan, where I worked with a company that was struggling with both finances and motivating its staff. I was forewarned that the staff members did not have business sense because they had become accustomed to the Soviet system in which the state did everything. The private enterprise system was foreign to them.

My job was to motivate the staff, and I was given two full days to accomplish this. After flying to Tajikistan and getting a VIP welcome at the airport, I was brought back to reality when I travelled by jeep to the company’s headquarters. What was supposed to be a 12-hour drive in the mountains turned out to be a 19-hour commute with four flat tires and no real washrooms or restaurants along the way.

We reached our destination at 3am. The view of the mountains was nothing short of spectacular. Getting out of the car, high in the mountains, I was greeted by thousands of stars, each seemingly bigger than the earth. I was watching with my entire five-foot-seven-inch height. If I’d ever wanted to learn a lesson in humility, it was right there.

Getting out of the car, high in the mountains, I was greeted by thousands of stars, each seemingly bigger than the earth

“I won’t motivate them”

At 8am the CEO was knocking on my door, saying, “Hey, Mr Motivator, please come and motivate my people.” I told the CEO that I was not doing that. He was surprised because that was the purpose of my engagement.

I told him that what I wanted to do was spend the first of my two days interviewing his top 25 people. He didn’t think that was going to help because they had no idea about business. I told him that didn’t matter because I needed to understand the challenges from their perspective before I could motivate them. I did not leave him much choice.

I spent the entire day interviewing his top 25 people, many of them with the help of a translator. I asked them three questions:

1. Do you have a clear idea of the vision and mission of your company?
2. What are the big roadblocks preventing you from working at your best?
3. If you were the CEO of the company, how would you run it differently?

As they responded, I made notes and ended up with about 30 pages. In the evening I asked the CEO to assemble these top 25 people at 8am the next day. He asked me when I was going to start motivating. I told him, “Sometime tomorrow.”

I woke up at 2am and summarised the 30 pages into 10 key areas, which I wrote on a white board. At 7am I went through these 10 points with the interviewees to confirm that I had captured the essence of what they had stated the previous day. They studied the list hard and confirmed that the points encapsulated our individual discussions.

I woke up at 2am and summarised the 30 pages into 10 key areas, which I wrote on a white board

rom my interviews, I learned that no one had a clear picture of the vision and mission of the company. I decided to put them into groups of four to brainstorm about where they would like to see the company in five years’ time. I gave them approximately 30 minutes to do this.

Subsequently, I had one member from each group present their findings. As we went through each presentation, they were not only able to articulate a powerful vision and mission but also came up with a logo and branding proposition. Incredible! I had never seen any group that I have dealt with come up with all of this in a matter of an hour and have consensus around it. This was a group that supposedly had no business background. Absolutely amazing!

This example illustrates two key points. First, we underestimate people’s capabilities. We all have innate gifts. Second, without clarity of purpose and direction, there is no motivation.

Importance of clarity

If you don’t have a clear sense of your purpose and goals, you cannot use your innate gift well.

A few years ago, Harris Interactive, the originators of the Harris Poll, polled 23,000 American residents employed full-time in key industries and key functional areas. Among other things, they reported the following findings:

• Only 1 in 5 was enthusiastic about their team and organisation’s goals.
• Only 1 in 5 had a clear “line of sight” linking their tasks and the team and organisation’s goals.
• Only 15 per cent felt their organisation fully enabled them to execute key goals.
• Only 17 per cent felt their organisation fostered open communication that was respectful of different viewpoints.
• Only 10 per cent felt their organisation held people accountable.
• Only 20 per cent fully trusted their organisation.

In his excellent book, The 8th Habit, Stephen Covey explains these findings as follows:

If, say, a soccer team had these same scores, only four of the eleven players on the field would know which goal is theirs. Only two of the eleven would care. Only two of eleven would know which position they play and exactly what they are supposed to do. And all but two players would, in some way, be competing against their own team members rather than the opponent. Can you imagine the personal and organisational cost of failing to fully engage the passion, talent and intelligence of the workforce?

A shared vision is an absolute must

Is everyone aiming at the same goal? If not, there will be scattered energy. Jack Welch, former CEO of General Electric, often shared with his teams the GE philosophy for the organisation: Either they were #1 or #2, or they would fix, close or sell. His blueprint for transforming GE’s performance was to keep it simple. That is the power of mission and focus. It is important to have a common or shared vision. Once people buy into a vision, it is easier to implement. You need the contribution of everyone who is part of the vision.

Part of good leadership is to set a clear direction, find your employees’ innate gifts and encourage them to use those gifts. By doing this, you encourage your employees to work to their potential. You may lose some employees when they realise they do not belong in your team—but better to get them off your team early rather than late.

The post There Is More to Good Leadership That Just Being a Great Motivator appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Giving is not a burden or an inconvenience! We are all connected: when we give to others, we give to ourselves; when we hurt others, we hurt ourselves.

The Power of Giving Is Immediate

Think a good thought for about 30 seconds right now. How do you feel? You will feel lighter and happier! On the other hand, if you think a bad thought, you will feel worse. As you send out good thoughts, you invite goodness—it is instantaneous.

When you have too much on your plate and you need someone to give to you, it is hard to give. But if you lighten up and give even a smile, you will feel better. I was doing a seminar for a bank in India that employed 12,000 people, when someone asked me the question: “How do I give and be kind when I have already done that for 12 hours and yet another customer comes in?” I replied, “You have two choices about how to treat the customer—either with a frown or a smile. A smile requires you to use two muscles, while a frown requires 63. You decide: how many muscles do you want to use when you are tired?” A simple smile is instantaneous and yet can have a lasting impact.

The Power of Giving is Continuous

If you close your fist, you cannot receive. When you open your hand and give, you can also receive. When you stop giving, you stop creating!

The more in the flow of giving you are, the more giving flows through you. The more you are in the flow of abundance, the more abundance flows through you. Abundance can be in many forms: in wealth, spirituality, relationships, and health. It can be yours if you make giving an ongoing part of your life.

The Power of Giving Is Eternal

“Give when the season of giving is here so that your coffer is not empty when you die.”
— Kahlil Gibran

When you die, you do not take what you have, you take what you gave! An anonymous wise man appropriately said that a hundred years from now, it will not matter how big your house was or what car you drove or how much money you had in the bank, but the world will be a different place if you were important in the life of a child. Or, if we take it more literally, donating your body to science can have a profound impact on generations to come.

Giving to Oneself

Sometimes we forget that receiving is also a form of giving. If there is so much joy in giving then by receiving from someone we are also giving them a chance to experience the beauty of giving. Whom would you give to, if there was no one to receive?

Also it is important to give to oneself. When you look after yourself—your body, mind, and spirit—you are rejuvenated and are able to give to others. This is not selfish, but selfless. I recommend 20 minutes of meditation, 20 minutes of exercise and 20 minutes of uplifting reading every day. I call that the hour of power.

Corporate Giving

Corporations are usually formed to create profits. Their mandate is not to give! However, surprising as it may sound, giving is still one of the key ingredients of corporate success. Corporations who give to customers, employees, community and environment reap rewards in terms of customer and employee loyalty.

Thomas Edison, the founder of GE said “I never perfected an invention that I did not think in terms of service it might give to others.” Without the service [giving] element not much can be achieved with the customers.

The foundation of any business is giving to the customers. Looking after their needs, solving their problems, keeping them happy is all part of giving to customers that creates loyalty, repeat business and word of mouth. Enterprise Rent-A-Car grew from a small leasing company in Missouri into a $9 billion global powerhouse. Their motto was to keep customers not just satisfied but completely satisfied!

It is becoming harder to find and retain talented employees. Also, harnessing the potential of employees is crucial as it is the most important asset any company has. To attract and retain good employees requires a giving culture. Looking after their needs, and providing an enabling environment, which fosters learning, growth and contribution, is part and parcel of that giving.

Companies such as UPS, Hewlett Packard and Starbucks, who have had some sort of employee ownership either by way of stock purchase plan or stock options, have seen great growth in their business. Giving a piece of the pie to their employees has paid off.

Walt Disney’s mission was “to bring a smile to a child’s face” and he was able to persevere through a lot of struggle and challenges to make his dream a reality. Of course there was a profit motive, all corporations have that, but notice the link to giving—bringing a smile to a child’s face.

Giving in Uncertain Times

In today’s uncertain times, many shy away from giving. They complain about lack of time and resources. They become busy working, commuting, and being caught in the activity trap. There is little time for exercise, relaxation, family, introspection, meditation or financial planning. Stress and dissatisfaction are widespread.

The conventional solution is to work hard, work fast and concentrate on self. Is that working? Not really! There is lack of fulfillment, unhappiness, relationship challenges and negative energy. So what is the solution? Giving!

The more you give to your family; you will enjoy better relationships at home. The more you give to your colleagues, the better camaraderie you will have at work. This enhances your productivity and performance. The more you give to your customers, the better loyalty you will create leading to a better bottom-line. The more you give to the community, the better environment you will create for you and your family to live in.

The more time you invest in others, the less time you need getting things done. In addition, when you give you tap into your creativity, innovation and potential. Also, when you are gentle and give to others, you are also gentle with yourself. Thus the more you give, the more you have!

The best time to give is today! Today is a new day, a fresh beginning! Practicing daily dose of giving to self and others rejuvenates you! Here are seven powerful tips for you to get started:

• Give gratitude everyday
• Shine your light and inspire others to shine their light
• Be a loving human being and family member. Sometimes we forget the people closest to us
• Give people the benefit of doubt—remember everyone is fighting a battle. Also, give every situation the best possible interpretation
• Be a little bit better everyday in every way
• Marry your audacious goals with living in the moment! Direction is important, however, it is execution in the moment that creates the results
• Enjoy the ride—remember, the destiny is in the journey!

Giving is a grace. It comes to people who are blessed. Givers are spiritually kindled and understand the power of giving.

The post How Giving Creates More Abundance in Your Life appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Life is difficult. Many people rely on you: your boss, your colleagues, your customers, your spouse, your children, your parents and others. Their demands pull you in all directions, and you can’t meet them all. It’s often difficult to decide whom to gratify and whom to disappoint. The decisions require a delicate balancing act.

You can’t perform this balancing act on pure instinct. Your decisions must be made consciously, and this requires an awareness of what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. Once you have learned to act consciously, your thoughts and your actions will become so integrated that you will make appropriate choices naturally, without agonising over them.

The meaning of Life Balance

The whole of Creation is founded on balance. All its diverse elements have come together in just the right proportion to create this beautiful and fleeting moment in time and space that we call life. Creation, in its innate wisdom, never favours one and excludes another—because everything brings its own unique hue to the kaleidoscope.

And were it not for the delicate balance within each, life wouldn’t be as we know it.

Speaking on a balanced life, the Indian mystic Osho said, “A tree’s roots go down into the earth, and its branches spread towards the stars. Its blossoms flower into the sky, its nourishment comes from the deepest part of the earth. It is always balanced; higher the tree goes, the deeper it’s roots. You cannot have a Cedar of Lebanon, a 400- or 500-year old tree, rising so high in the sky, with small roots—it will fall down immediately. Life needs a balance between the depth and the height.”

To know what Life Balance means to you, it’s essential to know what areas of your life are most important to you

Life Balance can be viewed in many ways. It can be a balance between home and work. It can be a state of balance in one’s physical, mental, emotional, financial, and spiritual health. When you have a balanced life, you are able to spend sufficient time, both qualitatively and quantitatively, in areas that you have defined as important to you. Life Balance is a state of feeling and being. You know intuitively that you are doing the right things, and you’re able to navigate through the many opportunities and challenges. You know what is important to you and you are able to choose appropriately.

Life Balance is not a static condition. It is a dynamic and evolving blend of the body, mind, and spirit. To know what Life Balance means to you, it’s essential to know what areas of your life are most important to you. I believe that life is balanced when we are centred. Being centred allows us to find equilibrium amid flux and change.

You are centred when you have a set of principles that are well grounded. When you’re centred, you know what you want and why you want it. This comes from clarity of purpose. This clarity allows you to navigate through changes without compromising your core values and principles. You become like an orchestra. It has diverse players and different instruments, yet all are synchronised to produce a beautiful symphony. This is how you synchronise your body, mind, and spirit to your purpose. You are able to make life decisions from your core values and principles, rather than succumbing to a reactive, “fire fighting” mode.

Being balanced means catering to your own needs as well as those of your family and the society you live in. You become an asset to the world you live in.

Going all-out pursuing every objective is a recipe for burn-out. Rather, pick your objectives and pursue them at an optimum pace

Moderation is the key

An airline pilot who picks up a tail wind, opens his throttle, and points his aircraft in the general direction of his intended destination may make excellent time. But when he arrives, he may find himself at the wrong airport.

Going all-out, all the time, in pursuit of every objective is a recipe for burn-out. To achieve Life Balance, it’s necessary to pick your objectives and to pursue them at the optimum pace, which means the fastest sustainable pace.

It doesn’t help to go at the fastest sustainable pace if you don’t have a clear idea of where you’re going.

A clear vision helps balance Ying and Yang

To master the balancing act in life, you must have a clear vision and a commitment to make the vision a reality. You can’t waste energy pursuing all the possibilities that are out there for you. You must decide which possibility you want to zero in on, and focus everything you do on this objective.

You must also understand all the aspects of your life, and keep them in balance. Taoists explain this as a balance between Ying and Yang. Ying and Yang represent the balance of opposites in the universe. When Ying and Yang are in balance, all is calm. When one outweighs the other, confusion and disarray set in.

Buddhism recommends the “middle path”—the one between the opposite extremes of luxury and hardship. The laws of the “Eightfold Path” were designed to guide people without making life too strict or too easy. They represented balance.

Staying in balance requires that you understand your whole being. You must know your physical, mental and spiritual needs, and you must bring them into congruence. If you don’t understand how each contributes to the whole of your being, you may end up catering to one facet of your life at the expense of the whole. If you understand the whole in relation to its parts, you can determine the amount of time and effort to invest in each facet.

To acquire balance means to achieve that happy medium between the minimum and the maximum that represents your optimum. The minimum is the least you can get by with. The maximum is the most you’re capable of. The optimum is the amount or degree of anything that is the most favourable towards the ends you desire.

In his book Stairway to Success, Nido Qubein gives the example of the Marathon runner who goes all-out for the first mile. This person will take an early lead, but the victory will go to the runner who strikes the highest sustainable pace. If your pace is too slow, the others will pass you. If it’s too fast, you’ll run out of energy before you reach the end of the race. You have to choose a happy medium.

To acquire balance means to achieve that happy medium between the minimum and the maximum that represents your optimum

You need to strike the same kind of balance in your personal habits and behaviour. If at work you try to produce the maximum, you may face burnout. If you go for the minimum you will get poor results and will not tap into your potential.

Let us look at some aspects of your life that call for balance between Ying and Yang; that call for pursuing the “Middle Path”; that benefit from adopting the fastest sustainable pace.

» Head vs Heart

“Your reason and passion are the rudder and the sails of the seafaring soul,” wrote Kahlil Gibran, the great Lebanese-born philosopher, poet, and painter. “If either your sails or your rudder be broken, you can but toss and drift, or else be held at a standstill in mid-seas.”

An equilibrium between reason and passion—between head and heart—is one of the essentials of Life Balance. It has been said that when the mind and the heart go to war, the body becomes the battlefield.

The mind allows us to think, to reason, and to apply our wisdom to make a difference. The heart is where we feel. Through it, we love and use our creativity without inhibition. When we merge education of the mind with education of the heart, we strike a dynamic balance. We look with “both eyes”—the eye of the heart and the eye of the mind. We look at life as a whole, realising that one element affects the other.

Reason without passion is lame, and passion without reason is blind. Reason alone is dull, whereas passion alone can lead to destruction. When we marry the two, we have a wonderful synergy. Our reasoning protects us from doing silly things. Our passion gives us the drive to excel and go the distance.

» Home vs Career

The balancing of home and career is the most common challenge that executives face. Many feel compelled to make a choice between home and career. Studies show that those who are employed outside the home cannot balance work and family demands. Most give higher priority to their work than they do to their families. Life Balance makes that stark choice unnecessary.

We’re living in the age of burn-out, in which workaholics pursue frenetic lifestyles that hog their time, drain their resources, and leave them empty and unfulfilled. Many people engage in activity for activity’s sake, burying themselves in work or play to avoid facing real personal and spiritual needs. Others are in love with money, and seek to express that love by spending all their waking hours pursuing their careers. But truly successful people know that balance is essential to achievement, and they make room for quality time for family, friends, spiritual interests, and hobbies.

Most give higher priority to their work than they do to their families. Life Balance makes that stark choice unnecessary

Lee Iacocca, as president of the Ford Division of Ford Motor Company and CEO of Chrysler, put in long days on the job. But he was also committed to staying home every weekend, enjoying time with his family, going to church, and reflecting on his life and times.

» Independence vs Interdependence

“No man is an island,” wrote John Donne, 17^th century English poet and churchman. We are all dependent on our fellow humans, and they are dependent on us. We are individuals with our own unique traits, but we are also tied to other individuals through bonds of family, religion, culture, community, nation, and many other commonalities. Our happiness depends, to a large extent, on how well we strike the balance between our independence as individuals and our interdependence with others.

When you foster strong and healthy relationships with others, especially those who are closest to you, the balancing act becomes easier. These healthy relationships provide a foundation for pursuing common goals. They also give you the confidence to pursue individual interests on your own. But if you don’t cultivate healthy and strong relationships, achieving balance will always seem like an uphill battle. Strong, healthy relationships don’t just happen. They require a huge investment of time and effort before they become reality.

Among the most sadly neglected areas of interdependence is the one shared between husband and wife. If you’re married, the marital relationship must take priority over all other human relationships if you are to achieve Life Balance. Too many marriages have floundered on the shoals of indifference and neglect. All too many men and women, hard-pressed for time, have suddenly discovered that time has run out for the person at their side. After years of playing second fiddle to jobs, careers, hobbies and other activities; after too many evenings deprived of the company of a soul mate; after too many meals in which conversation was no deeper than “pass the salt,” or “are you through with the newspaper?” the marriage partner opts out—emotionally, physically, or both.

Among the most sadly neglected areas of interdependence is the one shared between husband and wife

So don’t miss a chance to take a pleasant walk with your wife, smelling the roses as you go. Don’t miss an opportunity to take in a good movie with your husband. Look for shared experiences that will provide fuel for pleasant conversations far into the future.

Invest your time and heart in relationships with others who are close to you: your children, your extended family, your colleagues and your friends. Enhanced relationships lead to Life Balance and to joy in living.

The question of job vs. family doesn’t need to be an either/or proposition. For example, one day I returned home late from work to find my son Tawfiq, who was eight years old then, eager to play video games. Tawfiq was on a break from school and had been waiting all day for his dad to come home.

The next morning, I was scheduled to make an important business presentation before 40 senior executives. Should I disappoint Tawfiq and concentrate on polishing my presentation? Or should I use the evening to nurture my relationship with my son?

I chose to take Tawfiq to a video arcade. I later realised that the evening with my son was good for Tawfiq and good for business. It was a valuable chance to knit even closer the father/son relationship. And it took my mind off business long enough for me to shed my stress and approach the presentation in a fresh and relaxed frame of mind. The presentation drew plaudits. I was a success at home and at work. It wasn’t the result of good luck. It was the result of a good choice. It was the result of a balanced decision.

The balance between independence and interdependence has become critical in this age of diversity. Stephen Covey, in his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, explained that we are living in an age that values independence; yet we occupy a globe that is interconnected as it has never been before. This has created a massive imbalance. We all need to learn to make choices that lead us to invest time and effort in building trust, appreciating diversity, and valuing and respecting others.

The balance between independence and interdependence has become critical in this age of diversity

Covey’s advice: “Seek first to understand; then to be understood.” What this means is that we must first seek to understand people who are different from us before we can expect them to understand us. Once we understand our own place in this interconnected world, we are better equipped to balance this interdependence with a healthy level of independence.

A healthy understanding of others is impossible unless you have a healthy understanding of yourself. A good relationship with yourself enables you to cultivate good relationships with others. It is an inside-out approach.

» Do it now vs Do it later

One of the songs sung at the funeral of the assassinated President William McKinley in 1901 was “Beautiful Isle of Somewhere.” Written in 1897, it was about an imaginary land in which the sun was shining, the songbirds dwelled, and conditions were perfect. One of its verses begins this way:

Somewhere the day is longer,
Somewhere the task is done…

Many people spend their lives dreaming about the “Isle of Somewhere” but never getting any closer to it. The isle remains indefinitely “somewhere”; the day is always “some day”; the accomplishment is always in the future.

Such people dream of taking that family vacation “some day”; of pursuing that hobby “some day”; of losing weight, or spending more time with their parents, or enjoying some other enjoyable experience in that misty “some day” on the “beautiful Isle of Somewhere.”

It’s time to stop postponing your dreams and your happiness. It’s time to bring your beliefs and your actions into congruence. If what you do is not aligned with what you dream—if your actions are not aligned with your principles—you’re out of balance.

“Some day” is meaningless. “Today” is what counts. Sure, it’s easy to let things slide; to put off bringing your life into balance. The worthwhile things in life require effort. But the rewards for persistence are sweet. Make the right choices today. Tomorrow, you’ll be glad you did.

Life Balance manifests itself in many ways. It may be in the accomplishment of goals you set for yourself after leaving high school. It may be in the satisfaction that comes from the contributions you’ve made at work and in the security of having a retirement plan. You may achieve it through making friends or in cultivating outside interests such as the theatre or sports. You may find it in a family life that suits your needs and standards. And you may find it in a set of ethics that you yourself have defined.

All these areas add up to the sum of your life. Look them over and decide whether you’re satisfied with all of them. If you see areas where improvement is needed, go to work on them. Do it here and now. Don’t wait until “some day” on the “Beautiful Isle of Somewhere.”

It’s time to stop postponing your dreams and your happiness. It’s time to bring your beliefs and your actions into congruence

Balance in your business life

Life Balance can bring richness to your personal life that goes far beyond the possession of material things, and significance to your business life that goes far beyond financial success.

Here are some things to consider as you seek balance in your business life:

» Slow vs Fast

“Slow but sure wins the race,” is the moral of Aesop’s fable of the tortoise and the hare. “He who hesitates is lost,” states the oft-quoted adage. Life Balance requires a middle course between these two pieces of wisdom. Doing things quickly can save you time, and that time may be spent doing more important things. But doing things in a rush, before you’ve had time to think through the repercussions, can land you quickly in the wrong place. Life Balance requires that you know what results you expect before you take action. It requires that you focus first on where you’re going and how you plan to get there. It requires an assessment of obstacles and strategies for overcoming these obstacles. Only when you’re focussed on the destination, the ways, and the means, is it advisable to proceed with all due speed.

» Taking risks vs Playing it safe

If you risk too much, you may lose everything. If you risk nothing, you will gain nothing. Taking risks is a balancing act. Intelligent risk-taking is a key to success in any endeavour. How do you know when to take a risk and when to play it safe? Here’s Nido Quiben’s advice:

The process of risk analysis is not that complicated. Before embarking on a venture, answer these questions:

1. What is the best thing that could result from this action?
2. What is the worst that could result from this action?
3. What is the most likely result of this action?

If the most likely result would take you toward your vision, and you’re willing to deal with the worst possible result in exchange for a shot at the best possible result, go ahead with the venture.

» Focus vs Being distracted

“For everything there is a season,” wrote the wise King Solomon, “and a time for every purpose under heaven.”

So, when you’ve set aside time for a specific purpose, should you allow interruptions and distractions to break your focus? Some people are easily distracted. They’ll stop what they’re doing at the drop of a hat and enter into an unrelated conversation, focus on a different train of thought, or embark on a different task. Others become so absorbed in what they’re doing that they’re oblivious of everything going on around them. It practically takes an explosion to break their focus.

Life Balance enables you to know when to keep your focus and when to surrender to the distraction. If you allow yourself to be distracted by every minor interruption, every unplanned circumstance, you’ll never accomplish anything constructive. But, as Solomon reminds us, there’s “a time to keep silence and a time to speak.”

Suppose your teenage daughter wants to talk to you heart to heart about a problem she’s facing. Should you ignore her in favour of the column of figures you’re adding up, the speech outline you’re working on, or the specifications you’re drawing up for an important project?

A few minutes invested in connecting with your daughter will, in the long run, more than compensate for a few minutes in which your business interests are put aside.

Balance in your personal life

Balance in your personal life goes far beyond the accumulation of money and goods. At the end of the day, it’s not how much you’ve enriched your material assets that counts; it’s how much you’ve enriched your life, and through it, the lives of others.

How can Life Balance bring richness to your personal life? Here are some areas in which to cultivate balance:

» Receiving vs Giving

It may surprise you to learn that it isn’t enough to be a generous giver. Life Balance requires that you also be a gracious receiver. Giving and receiving are opposite sides of the same coin. For every gift there must be a receiver. If everybody gave and nobody received, to whom would we give?

There is joy in giving, so allow other people to give as well so they can also experience joy. When you perform as an artist and people applaud, allow them to finish their applause; people want to show their appreciation. Be worthy of both giving and receiving.

Kahlil Gibran explained the two-way benefits of giving and receiving this way:

“It is the pleasure of the bee to gather the honey of the flower, but it is also the pleasure of the flower to yield its honey to the bee… and to both, bee and the flower, the giving and receiving of pleasure is a need and an ecstasy.”

There is joy in giving, so allow other people to give as well so they can also experience joy

» Less vs More

You want to accomplish as much as you can. But when you aim strictly for volume, you may be adding accomplishments that add very little to your happiness or balance. Suppose someone were to show you a large bin containing a mixture of $100 bills and discarded tissue paper and offer to let you keep whatever you could remove in 30 seconds. Would you scoop up the contents by the handful, or would you quickly pick out the $100 bills and ignore the tissue paper?

You’d be most likely to go for the $100 bills, for they’d be far more valuable than the tissue paper. Picking up the tissue paper would simply distract you from picking up the important stuff.

In life, too, the best strategy is to focus on what is important and do it first. The person who does more is not always the person who succeeds. It’s better to do a little that moves you toward your goals than to do a lot that gets you nowhere. And if an action moves you farther from your goals, it’s best to heed the words of Chinese author and scholar Lin Yutang: “Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of nonessentials.”

» Hard work vs Laziness

A life of total leisure is the hardest career to pursue. But being overworked can cause stress and anxiety, which inhibit productivity. Life Balance means finding a middle ground between the two.

Quiet time can lead to ingenious ideas. A few moments spent in total relaxation can be more productive than hundreds of hours spent at hard labour. Archimedes, the ancient physicist and mechanical engineer, was given the task of determining whether a crown made for the king was of pure gold. The solution to the problem came to him as he lay in a bathtub.

Relaxation paid off for Archimedes. But if you spend all your time relaxing and meditating, your ideas will never make it out of your imagination. To implement your ideas, there’s no substitute for action. So dream to bring your future into focus and act to bring it into reality.

Short-term imbalance

Once in a while, it may be necessary to allow for temporary imbalance as a means to achieve long-term goals. Such imbalance is tolerable, even desirable, if it is just for a short time. But if it continues longer, it can lead to danger. An author working on a book may have to work extra-long hours to meet a deadline, or may have to go to extraordinary lengths to conduct research. Athletes training for the Olympics may have to push their bodies extra hard to whip them into shape for world-class competition. A contractor may have to push extra hard to bring a project in on time and avoid severe monetary penalties.

An occasional imbalance is OK if you’re working toward something that will contribute to long-range stability. But make sure that the imbalance is temporary. And don’t forget let your family and others close to you know what to expect.

» Material responsibility vs Spiritual responsibility

At the end of the day we leave this world as we came—with nothing. So in the final analysis, material things become short-term and spiritual things long-term. But if we ignore our material responsibilities, we won’t be able to sustain our spiritual side. So the balance between the two is important. In fact, if we were to marry the two it would be a good blend: pursuing material things with a spiritual foundation. We have multiple needs and we cannot ignore our spirituality by being obsessed with material wellbeing. My friend once asked her mother how she would live her life if she were given a second chance. She responded: “I would try to make twice as much difference in people’s lives.”

The good news is that no matter where you are in life, you can always make a fresh start. Where attention goes, energy flows

The ultimate aim: well-balanced health

In this modern world, where wealthy leisure is often held out as the ultimate goal, many individuals have stood at the pinnacle of success only to find themselves looking down into the grave.

Paul almost became one of them. He was a senior vice president of a major corporation. He had been engrossed in climbing the corporate ladder, and was on the verge of realising a lifelong dream: promotion to CEO.

Then he was hit by a series of distressing developments. First he learned that his teenage daughter had a drinking problem, apparently arising from her feeling that her parents were neglecting her. Then his doctor told him he suffered from a heart problem and would need an operation. Then he received a letter from his wife’s lawyer—accompanied by separation papers. It caught him totally by surprise, though warning signs had been there for months. He had been so focused on his work that he had turned a blind eye toward his family and his health, and never realised it.

He recognised—just in time—that his life was out of balance and that success could not be sustained unless balance was restored. He made some conscious new choices, began putting his family and health first, and in two years turned his life around.

To accomplish this turnaround, Paul

• turned down the CEO position and opted to continue to work as senior vice president.
• gave up part of his salary to hire an executive assistant to help him with his many administrative duties.
• committed to building friendship with his teenage daughter. He accepted her problem, showed her unconditional love, and scheduled regular weekly meetings with her.
• went to counselling sessions with his wife to iron out their marital issues. He showed her that she mattered the most to him.
• hired a personal trainer and worked with her three days a week. He also switched to a healthier diet.

Roger and Rebecca Merrill, in their insightful book Life Matters use the term “navigational intelligence” to refer to the ability to make the choices that create what we want to have in our lives. Paul intelligently navigated his way back into Life Balance. But he began the balancing act as a reaction to his problems. If he had been proactive from the start, he might have avoided his heart condition, averted his daughter’s drinking problem, and headed off his marital conflict before it became a crisis.

The good news is that no matter where you are in life, you can always make a fresh start. Where attention goes, energy flows. When Paul turned his attention toward his family and health situation, results changed—gradually but effectively.

Some practical tips

1. The hour of power

In my book, The Corporate Sufi, I have suggested: “Practice the ‘hour of power’ first thing in the morning: 20 minutes of meditation. 20 minutes of exercise. 20 minutes of reading something inspiring. Go to sleep an hour earlier.”

Starting your day with an hour of power gives you a head start. Generally, if you leave things for the end of the day, they don’t get done. So I recommend that you start your day with things that are important in your life.

2. Smart use of time

Another way of finding balance is to combine two important activities. Try listening to educational CDs while driving or running on a treadmill. Or spend 20 minutes a day walking with your spouse, child or a friend. That way, you make sure you are spending time with the people in your life who are important, and are still getting your exercise. By scheduling weekly family activities, exercise, reading, or prayer time, you can ensure that you do not overlook them in your busy week.

3. “Undo list”

Eliminate unimportant elements from your life. If you can’t eliminate them, delegate them. If you can’t delegate them, postpone them. Then choose those remaining very important things in your life and execute them. In other words, execute around a tight set of priorities. Be proactive in putting important things in your life first.

4. Let principles, values, and ethics guide you

Whatever you do, be guided by principles, values, and ethics and make appropriate choices that invite Life Balance. The key is to exercise integrity in the moment of choice; otherwise, everything becomes a theory with no practical application.

As you can see from the above, the balancing act is needed in many areas of life. Don’t be overwhelmed by the many different possibilities. Focus on your vision and principles, and let them be the foundation for everything you do. Having a vision and keeping your feet on the ground will help you with the balancing act and will invite integrity and harmony into your life.

Parts of this article were excerpted from the book Life Balance The Sufi Way by Nido Qubein and Azim Jamal.

The post Success without life balance is incomplete and leads to burnout appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

You are here for a reason

You were born into this world for a reason. You are here for a nobler purpose than just to eat, sleep, produce offspring, and die. You are here to make a difference. You are here to shine your light and leave the world in better shape then you received it. You are here to display the gifts you have been blessed with. You are here to use those gifts to make a contribution and create significance.

There is no one like you in this world. No one in this world can match your smile, style, or DNA. No one in this world can speak like you or think like you. You are unique, gifted, and special. And your gifts are tied to your purpose. When you do things you were born to do and use your innate gifts to make a difference, you are living and working with purpose.

When you live with purpose, you are energised and focussed, and have a sense of direction. You are concentrating on things that are important to you. Your life has meaning and direction, and you are able to pay attention to your work, family, and spirituality.

What a purposeful life looks like

“When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece,” wrote John Ruskin, the Victorian artist, scientist, poet, environmentalist, and philosopher.

All of nature is on call, operating in silence and yet on purpose. The mighty oak was once a little nut that stood its ground. The acorn contains the design for the fully developed oak tree in all its mightiness. Where you find purpose and strong principles, there you find success and balance.

A ship would never sail without a destination. Similarly you can’t find fulfilment without having a clear objective. When you have purpose, you know where you are going, and you know why you want to go there. You are driven to get there. A sense of purpose creates energy, meaning, gumption, and love. You lose track of time doing things that have a solid purpose.

Purposeful living enables you to know what’s really important in your life. You should not confuse important things with urgent things. In fact, there is an inverse relationship between what’s urgent and what’s important. What is important is generally not urgent. Things become urgent only if we have neglected to do them. Focussing on urgent things can lead to imbalance. Although many of us are aware of the differences between urgent and important, most of us are unaware of where our time disappears.

Why bother about purpose

“The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work,” commented Richard Bach, author of the best-seller Jonathan Livingston Seagull.

When you enjoy your work, you are more efficient and effective. Doing what you love in a conducive environment invites passion and makes it easier to wield your talent with maximum effect. You understand the bigger purpose of your work. You’re like the mason who knows that he is building a cathedral instead of just laying stones.

When you do purposeful work, you feel guided by principles. Your principles are the anchor, providing a source of steadiness amid tumultuous circumstances. If your anchor is bendable, then it will not hold the boat in place properly. In the words of Abraham Lincoln, “Important principles may and must be inflexible.” If principles can be bent, they cannot serve as reliable guides to behaviour.

Doing what you love in a conducive environment invites passion and makes it easier to wield your talent with maximum effect

Obstacles to living a purposeful life

Few of us have personal direction early in life. Instead of choosing our own ideal jobs, we let the jobs choose us. Most jobs look great if you don’t really know what you’re looking for. If you haven’t really decided where you want to go in your career, there are too many bewildering paths to take.

Many people seem to follow the same pattern in work or marriage: They leave a job that they’ve found unfulfilling and find the same kind of job next time around. The same applies for people who get divorced: They seem to end up marrying the same kind of person again. They then blame bad fortune and never realise that they simply didn’t reflect long enough or deep enough to decide what sort of work they wanted or what sort of spouse best complemented them.

Take the example of Leslie, who works as an administrative assistant for an average-sized company. She doesn’t like her job. She is interested in a job with more personal interaction. She finds her employer unreasonable and demanding. Every day she comes home miserable. This has affected her marriage and her relationship with her children. She has done this for 11 years. She is now 45 years old and feels that it is too late to change jobs.

It’s not too late. She has to make the choice to live with purpose. That choice will exact a price in the short run, but she will be far better off in the long run.

She must identify what she loves to do and what her innate gifts are. If she has not been happy with her job, the chances are that she is part of the problem. She is probably not working at her optimum, and her attitude is not positive. This contributes to the flawed relationship with her employer and to her less-than-optimum performance. It’s a lose-lose proposition.

Leslie can bring about a change in her life through lifelong learning, exploring options about her work and career, and discussions with her family about her dilemma.

“Successful and unsuccessful people do not vary greatly in their abilities,” according to John Maxwell, leadership trainer and author of the book Developing the Leader Within You, “They vary in their desires to reach their potential.”

Your principles are the anchor; if your anchor is bendable, then it will not hold the boat in place properly

Strategies to overcome these obstacles

Here are some ways to overcome obstacles to living a purposeful life at home and at work:

» Clarity of purpose

“The sole purpose of education is to help you find out what you, with all your heart, must love to do,” wrote Jiddu Krishnamurti, India-born 20^th century philosopher.

And American author Robert Byrne wrote, “The purpose of life is to live a life of purpose.”

This wisdom from East and West boils down to this: To achieve a meaningful and significant life, you must have a vision and a mission statement that tells how you expect to implement that vision.

That means you can’t pick your line of work randomly. When making that choice, it’s important to reflect, take a long look inside yourself, and answer some hard questions about who you are and what you want. The key to purpose lies within you.

The Sufis, a mystical branch of Islam, have a story about a man who lost his keys and searched for them in the street. A friend came by and helped him search. Finally, the friend asked, “Where were you when you lost your keys?”

“In the house,” replied the man.

“Then why aren’t you looking for them in the house?” asked the friend.

“Because the light’s better in the street,” came the reply.

You have to look for the key to purpose where it lies—within you—and not where it’s more convenient or less painful to look.

You can help identify your purpose by asking two questions:

1. “If I were to die today, what would be written on my tombstone?”
2. “If I had six months to live, how would I spend my remaining days?”

These questions put things in perspective. To answer them, you need to form a vision of what you want to be. You must identify your mission in life and describe that mission in a mission statement.

A mission statement can help you to remove the dust from the mirror so you can see clearly. You must separate truth and reality from the illusionary. You need a great deal of courage to challenge your beliefs and reach out to reality. If you are too caught up with the mundane, illusionary things of life, it will be difficult to get clarity.

Whenever you are confused about a course of action you need to take, you can go back to your mission statement and find the clarity of purpose there.

When you are clear about your vision, and believe in your ability, you invite help from the Universe. A thousand unseen hands come to your assistance. The universe conspires to help you. So sing the song that you have come here to sing; do not just string and unstring your instrument. Work in areas of your calling. Keep your eye on your goal, and see how energised and motivated you become.

If you are too caught up with the mundane, illusionary things of life, it will be difficult to get clarity

According to the Buddhist tradition of the Right Livelihood, the right work gives you a chance to develop your abilities and overcome your own ego-centeredness. When you find yourself doing purposeful work, in your area of interest, it will energise you. Michael Jordan was a great basketball player, but he did not do nearly as well in baseball.

If you are not enjoying your work, you’ll never become accomplished at what you do. Finding the right work comes from having both clarity of vision and clarity of mission. Developing mission statements both for your profession and for your family becomes crucial for clarity. Finding alignment between the two brings about congruence. A mission statement reveals the principles by which you would like to operate your life. It reflects your deep values and connects with your calling in life.

To help you achieve clarity, ask yourself the following:

• Do you know the one thing you must do?
• Are you spending your life stringing and unstringing the instrument instead of singing your song?
• Do you keep your eye on the goal or on the obstacles?
• Do you see and feel your goal and vision regularly?
• Is your work mission aligned to your personal mission?
• Do you know why you are doing what you are doing?
• Is your work your greatest delight?
• Does your purpose make a difference to others?
• Do you know that you are born with a mission to make a difference?

» Your shared vision

“The passion of a shared vision empowers people to transcend beyond petty, negative interactions,” according to Stephen Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

When you have a shared vision there is harmony among members of your work team and of your family team. You waste less time arguing about where you are going, and you tend to pull together towards your mutual goals. All this helps with balancing your life, because it saves time and energy.

You do not live on an island. You have needs and responsibilities outside yourself. Therefore, having a shared vision at home and at work makes a lot of sense, and increases your chances of success. All family members need to buy into the vision. The same goes for your work team. Without involvement, team members will make no commitment.

» Choose wisely

People today are inundated with choices. They range from too many brands of cereal to too many career choices, to too many life choices. It all gets a bit overwhelming. The variables you deal with include where you will live and work and what’s important for the family, for the children, and for you.

Choices create your destiny, and choices must be aligned with your purpose in life. As you choose, so you become.

When you choose to spend time with the family, you are choosing wisely. Azim recalls a dinner date he had with his daughter, Sahar, then 10 years old. As the dinner progressed, Azim was deeply moved [and even a little surprised] at how Sahar opened up and started to share of herself—her joys and her struggles. Azim was amazed at her candour and depth. In the intimate and honest connection they formed a good friendship. Azim felt he came to know his daughter on a deeper level.

When we spend time with our children, we build a powerful bond. Quality time is not enough; we also need to spend quantity time with them as well, especially when they are young. So the choices we make at home create balance or imbalance.

Making decisions about what you want in life means starting with yourself and not with the external demands of any situation. It’s important to discover what is unique about yourself, what things in life really motivate you, and where your joy springs from.

» Be willing to take risks

If you want to live with purpose, you must be willing to take risks. No objective worth pursuing comes without effort or risk. When you begin taking calculated risks that take you towards your objective, you feel more energetic and balanced. You foreclose the possibility that you will later find yourself saying, “If only I had taken that chance.” This energy and balance also carry over into your personal life. This underscores the importance of seizing the moment; of reaching for the stars while you’re gifted with youth, energy, and a sense of adventure. But your reach should not be blind. It must be guided by reflection and planning. Many of the seniors we’ve interviewed have told us they wished they had been more reflective in their prime. Many of them had been so caught up in the moment of action that they often lost focus on the meaning of what they were trying to accomplish.

Life moves at an ever-quickening pace, and by the time you’ve finished preparing and establishing yourself, its time to shift gears. Phase II, the second half of your life has arrived, and the days, weeks and years pick up speed like a river current approaching rapids. Suddenly your children are grown, your grandchildren are arriving, and you’re the age your parents were when you first thought of them as ‘old.’ Time is suddenly the most precious currency in life, and you regret taking the risk-free course and holding back from doing the things you love doing.

Seek integrity not security. Integrity comes when you choose the work you love and are born to do.

When you begin taking calculated risks that take you towards your objective, you feel more energetic and balanced

» Eliminate doubt from your life

To have doubts is to be human. But doubts are energy drains that bring on imbalance. They are stumbling blocks you need to clear out of your life.

It’s true that a degree of uncertainty keeps you from being careless; it’s the thing that makes you suddenly remember that you haven’t checked whether the stove was turned off or the doors were locked. A little uncertainty is OK if it keeps you on guard against dangerous situations.

Some people allow themselves to feel like failures when they encounter obstacles to reaching their goals. Others treat the obstacles as temporary detours. They quickly find ways to return to the main road and continue toward their objectives. They never stop believing they’ll get there. To them, one inch of doubt is too much. Never doubt your intentions or your desires. Have faith in the unknown and be your own biggest fan. When you believe in yourself, everyone else does too.

» Aim for authenticity, not charisma

While being charismatic and dynamic are wonderful traits, being authentic is being precisely what the world perceives us to be. We can’t fool people. They can see us coming a mile away.

Success is secular, and significance is spiritual, just as happiness is transient, but joy is lasting. Significance is influenced by passion, and passion is the result of purpose. Being leads to doing. It’s not, I do and therefore I am; It’s I am, and therefore I do. Sounds heavy, but really it is a basic understanding about life and living and how work fits into all that. Let who you are dictate what you do.

During your work life, you’ve undoubtedly encountered the advice that you compile a ‘to-do list.’ It’s a standard tool of time management. We suggest that you prepare a ‘to-be list’ and a ‘stop-doing list.’

Authentic people know their strengths and weaknesses and are not afraid to be honest about both sides of their personalities. But charismatic people seek to hide their weaknesses behind their darker side. If you look back on your life, you’ll probably find that the teachers who made school life more meaningful for you weren’t necessarily the most knowledgeable instructors, but they were authentic people. They imparted a full sense of themselves and were able to transmit a more complete idea of humanity that made you want to be real and authentic too. Authentic individuals embody the values they advocate, and can model the new way of doing things. Authenticity linked to purpose creates synergy and meaning. On the other hand, charisma, if it is charm without substance, can be problematic.

Authentic people know their strengths and weaknesses and are not afraid to be honest about both sides of their personalities

Azim was once asked to introduce a colleague at a seminar. Azim poured his heart out in the introduction. It was the kind of introduction that Azim would want someone to give him. The praise was authentic; the colleague’s virtues were not exaggerated. The power of the introduction was heartfelt and sincere, and came with the right intention. When you give to others what you need most, your gift comes from the depth of authenticity and security. Azim admits that this has not always been easy for him to do.

When you practice authenticity in the family it is much more stable, happy, and balanced. The focus is on how you can support each other. There is no energy drain brought on by negativity and defence.

Authentic living means you are living in tune with your calling and your purpose. It means going to the source. It means no more lying to oneself.

As Azim puts it: “The whole world can think you are great, but if you do not feel that way from deep within, the world’s opinion means little. What counts is being true to your deeper self, not to others’ opinions about you.”

» Be transformational, not transactional

Transactional leaders focus on what they want to say; transformational leaders focus on the need to feel and believe.

Your beliefs lead to your behaviours, and your behaviours lead to results. It isn’t what you and I say that matters; it’s the effect it has long after we’ve said it. Transformational individuals recognise that it isn’t something you do in front of your clients that impresses them; it’s something you do with your clients. When clients ‘own’ what you share and ‘invest’ themselves in it, transformation is a likely result.

You feel it and hear it and see it when you have a transformational effect. Transactional people change behaviours; transformational people change hearts and minds. Transformational people do not do things that are temporary and short-lived. They tend to build long-term relationships. They make huge changes, create great progress, and produce a metamorphosis through which the thing that is transformed becomes greater than its parts.

Conversely, transactional people focus on the transaction—the give-and-take with a short-term outlook; the ‘You-scratch-my-back-and-I’ll-scratch-yours’ kind of attitude. They tend to make a lot of noise, but create only a splash. Transactional people drink beer, burp and then go to sleep. Anyone can do that. Transformation requires much more than that.

Transactional people change behaviours; transformational people change hearts and minds

Howard Hughes and Elvis Presley are both examples of men who led lives of great accomplishment and reached great heights of fame and popularity, but died in misery amid all their wealth. Neither appears to have gone beyond the pursuit of personal gratification to become a transformational force in the world.

Elvis left behind a great body of music and movies. He left his indelible stamp on generations of music. And he was known for random acts of generosity. Yet he never attempted to use his wealth and influence in a focussed way to bring about a better world.

Howard Hughes had brilliant achievements in movie-making and in the aircraft industry, leaving behind movies as Hell’s Angels, Scarface and The Outlaw and making genuine contributions to aircraft design and performance prior to the World War II. But he spent his final years as an enigmatic recluse. He used his wealth to pursue his personal interests. At the time of his death, his estate was valued at $2 billion, but his sole act of philanthropy was the founding of the Hughes Medical Institute. Since his death, the institute has become the nation’s largest private source of support for biomedical research and science education. But it achieved that status almost by accident, and under the guidance of leaders who created a vision for it that went well beyond Hughes’ dream of a tax shelter for his aircraft business.

Transformation comes about when you are purpose-centred and not ego-centred. A family that follows a ‘transformational outlook’ has a far better chance of having lasting relationships than a family that follows a ‘transactional outlook.’

» Create intentional congruence

To be congruent means to be in agreement, to harmonise, or to correspond. When your life is in congruence, anything and everything you do is in harmony with your core values and principles. Intentional congruence means that you intentionally get involved in projects and associations that connect harmoniously with each other and with your overall core values and principles.

You know you have it when two or more of your activities and strategies cumulatively create more than either could create separately. Nido’s network of interests provides a model. He is a professional speaker, which feeds into his consulting, which feeds into his magazine publishing, which leads to business for his public-relations firm. Everything he does has an interlocking relationship with everything else he’s involved in. The result is maximum effectiveness and productivity.

Living a life of congruence invites balance. You can achieve that congruence by examining the purpose of your life and connecting everything you do to that purpose. It is important, therefore, to determine what you want to place at the centre of your being – what you want to become the source of your core motivation.

When your life is people-centred, the important thing to you is what others want. When it’s possession-centred, the important thing is what you have. When it is activity-centred, the important thing is what you do. These are all external sources of motivation.

When you put principles at the centre of your life, you have a solid, unwavering foundation for decision-making

But when your life is principle-centred, the important thing is who and what you are. Your core motivation lies within you. The principles we live by determine our character—the essence of who we are.

When you choose an external source of core motivation, you place yourself at the mercy of mood swings, inconsistent behaviour, and uncontrollable changes of fortune. When you put principles at the centre of your life, you have a solid, unwavering foundation for decision-making.

When we live by our principles, we are being true to ourselves. This is quite different from being self-centred. Self-centred people don’t reach out to others, and don’t concern themselves with others’ interests. They therefore live their lives in emotional isolation, often developing mental-health problems. Intentions and desires come from your spiritual nature. Release them to the universe to take over, remembering that the universe knows more about you than you know about yourself. Surrender to its timing. Just as every seed embodies huge potential, so too does every person. Just as the seed must give itself to the fertile ground to reach its potential, so too must we give ourselves to the universe around us.

» Stay in the big picture

Don’t lose sight of your big picture as you get caught up in the activity of life. In every problem lies an opportunity, so focus on the opportunity and the solutions. Maintain positive energy. Decide your priorities based on your shared vision, and act accordingly. Just thinking of your goals is not enough; you must take action to fulfil those dreams and make them happen. When your thinking arises from your goals, it results in wise choices that will help you accomplish those goals.

» From here to there

Fulfilment comes from closing the gap between where you are and where you want to go. To close that gap, you begin with two questions: ‘What do I want?’ and ‘How am I going to get it?’

Once you have answered those questions, you will be fired up for action. Your sense of purpose will make it clear what your goals are. Finally, it will erase the doubts and negativity and stop those anxiety-causing questions such as ‘What good is my life?’ or ‘Why am I doing all this anyway?’

“Everyone has a purpose in life—a unique gift or special talent to give to others,” says Deepak Chopra, noted authority on holistic medicine. Note the phrase ‘to give to others.’ Your sense of purpose must involve more than raw numbers. If your purpose is to make $100,000 a week, achieving it is unlikely to give you a warm sense of accomplishment.

Fulfilment comes from closing the gap between where you are and where you want to go

Nido’s sense of purpose is vividly illustrated by his wills.

He has a conventional will that details what happens to his material goods when he dies. That’s simply a mechanical instrument, designed to transmit his material assets to his heirs while minimising the tax burden on them. He lets a lawyer handle that. The ones he spends his own time on are his ethical wills.

He has written a private document to each of his four children that says, “Material things come and go, but let me tell you what I’ve left for you that will stay with you all your years and, even more important, which you can pass on to many generations thereafter.”

This ethical will talks about values, about purpose, about character. This is an example of a far deeper wealth and sense of purpose in life, carrying more meaning than just material wealth.

Finally it is important to know whether you are actually living on your purpose. Self-awareness aids in the making of choices. In his Journal for Lasting Happiness: Your Key to Success, Azim encourages each person to write a daily journal as a habit of self-reflection. When you increase your self-awareness, you understand reality better, and therefore, tend to be more giving. Azim has sometimes found himself doing things that are contrary to his teaching, but his journal writing allows him to catch himself in the act and practice self-correction. Otherwise he would be living an illusion, believing that he practices everything he preaches. Self-awareness comes from asking and answering hard questions that require deep personal integrity.

Living and working on purpose allows you to see beyond present reality to a place where you want to be. You are able to remain focussed on your big goals and not let petty things sidetrack you. You feel happy and productive. Purpose is the key to finding your way in the universal puzzle and reaching your destiny.

“The secret to success is consistency of purpose,” said Benjamin Disraeli, the 19^th century British prime minister.

As with so many things, Disraeli was right.

Adapted with permission from Life Balance the Sufi Way by Azim Jamal and Nido Qubein. Published by Jaico

The post How to live a life of purpose appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Myth 1 Leaders should encourage competition amongst their team members

Some leaders make people compete so they perform better by trying to outdo their teammates. This makes as much sense as telling the defender in a football team to compete with the striker rather than to work together to score goals.

Although competition is seen to influence people to go the extra mile and perform better, encouraging collaboration and using peoples’ collective strengths is a more productive approach. When people are inspired to make the team bigger than themselves, it leads to better teamwork and results.

Myth 2 Leaders should have full control and command over their followers

By having complete control over the team and issuing commands, some leaders get the sense that they have a better grip on the situation and can do things ‘their way’. In truth—and extensive research supports this—dictatorial leadership stifles innovation and people actually perform better when they are trusted to perform well.

Myth 3 Leaders should take an ‘ivory tower’ approach

Leaders who stay at head office and keep an elitist approach may think that they are gaining more respect from their employees. The reality is that in order to inspire people, you need to connect with them, which can happen more easily with face-to-face time. Additionally, leaders who are more involved have a better idea of the realities of the team’s working situation and find solutions to some of the daily obstacles.

Myth 4 Leaders should be charismatic

It is true that some leaders have sheer charisma. However, many leaders earn respect through their attitude, diligence, and capabilities. As my friend, Dr. Nido Qubein says, “it is authenticity, not charisma that counts.” Successful leaders are authentic.

Myth 5 True leaders are born leaders

Yes, some leaders are innately gifted with leadership qualities; however, most of them become leaders by experience, learning from mentors and having a burning desire to lead. Whether acquired or innate, leaders need to consciously hone their abilities to lead. And yes, leadership improves with experience.

Myth 6 Leaders are people who have been designated to a position of leadership

Leaders do not need a designated position to lead. They only need the right attitude and desire to lead. An organisation needs leaders at all levels.

Myth 7 Leaders need to know it all

The best leaders hire people who are smarter and skilled in other ways than themselves so that they can learn from them and work together to achieve the common goal. Great leaders realise that they do not know it all, and that in order for the team to perform at its peak, each member needs to contribute his or her own expertise. Leaders are aware that mistakes happen. However, they also understand that they must learn from these mistakes and take measures to prevent them in the future. Leaders know how to bounce back bigger and stronger after their mistakes.

Myth 8 Leaders should be older and more mature than the team they are leading

In some cases, age does bring the experience that is required to lead. However, it is not a prerequisite. There are many examples of young, capable, and energetic leaders that have provided fresh, new thinking to an organisation.

Myth 9 Leaders are egotistical and self-centered

Leaders require a sense of humility in order to understand that everything happens with the help of others. They need to appreciate that they are not the only drivers of success and that they require the rest of their team to reach their goals.

Myth 10 Leaders do not delegate high-level work

Great leaders create leaders, not followers. And they do so by being good role models and allowing their team to prove its ability by assigning important work. [Here’s how you can become a master delegator]

Effective leadership

Many prevalent leaders in society today have been influenced by these myths, whether it is because of the public media, what they have been taught in school, or a leader that they have worked with in the past. These myths can explain the lack of purpose that members of many organisations feel.

Counter to commonly-believed myths, effective leadership is…

• being a role model
• being a coach
• empowering others
• trusting and believing in the inherent abilities and gifts of team members
• encouraging collaboration instead of competition
• involving the team in the preparation of a clear vision and mission
• sincere praise of team members at every opportunity
• showing empathy and care
• rewarding excellence
• being result-oriented, not task-oriented
• exhibiting clear, ongoing, and positive communication

Effective leadership is the ability to inspire and catalyse the potential of the team. It is all about people. You share your success with them, tap into their talents, and show them how their work makes a difference. This way their work becomes far more than just making a livelihood. You arouse their curiosity to learn more, stretch their imagination by encouraging them to aim high and to make decisions.

Leadership is about making leaders of your followers. People learn best when they have to teach others, so it is about unleashing the spirit of empowerment and involvement. There is so much richness within each person to be discovered. Until it is discovered, it will forever be absent from the workplace. It is the role of effective leaders to nurture this richness.

You can avoid falling into the trap of these myths by being an effective leader. If you have a leader who operates from these myths, do not react to him or her but rather become the leader that he or she ends up looking up to.

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