On his new book SPARK…

Manoj Khatri: Your new book SPARK is in the bookstores now. What is it about and who would benefit from it?
Azim Jamal: The book is for those who are looking for success blended with meaning and significance. And that is possible only when your inner spark is ignited. Someone who embodies the “SPARK” has a spring in their step, a twinkle in their eye, an echo in their voice. Their heart is open and they are glowing with positive energy.

The SPARK has five key ingredients, which are encompassed in the acronym SPARK. S stands for Service, P for Purpose, A for Attraction, R for Resilience, and K for Knowing.

In the book, these principles are illustrated through a fable of a protagonist named Steve Harmon. This story is something that many successful people would relate to, especially those who have realized that their chase for outward and material success has not led to deeper fulfillment. The book will also resonate with those who are still striving for success, by helping them redefine what success really means to them.

Each chapter of the fable is followed by a lesson about the five key principles of SPARK. These principles are modeled by the story and can also be put into the context of the reader’s own life.

There are also reflection questions included after each chapter, which allow you to reflect on your own life. When you ask yourself these questions, you open yourself up to unleash your inner SPARK.

Finally, I end the book with my own story, which parallels the protagonist’s narrative, and illustrates how I personally unleashed my inner SPARK.

Success without significance is empty

Manoj Khatri: Sounds interesting. What inspired you to write such a book?
Azim Jamal: I have been doing this work for 25 years; I have worked with, and coached, successful entrepreneurs and businessmen around the world. In working with them, I have learned that they still struggle to find purpose, fulfillment, inner happiness and balance.

That’s how I realized that it is not success that these people are really after — it is significance. You see, success is an individualistic desire — you could earn wealth, have achievements, fame, and so on. However, significance is a spiritual desire. Success with significance implies that you are making genuine impact on others, you are pursuing your life’s purpose, you are in sync with the universe, you can weather whatever life throws at you, and you have a deep sense of conviction and faith. This is the inner SPARK that we all have the potential to achieve.

Overcoming self-doubt

Manoj Khatri: You mention that, just like the protagonist of SPARK, Steve Harmon, you too went through a big shift that led you to move away from the mindless pursuit of success to pursuing success with significance. Tell us about the doubts you experienced during that phase of your life and how you dealt with them…
Azim Jamal: This is a powerful question. Let me begin by saying that from a reasonably young age I had a passion to do something for my community. But I did it as a hobby; I never thought of it as my full-time occupation. But when I went to Pakistan to work with the Afghan refugees, I was terribly shaken by the poverty I witnessed; their plight made me cry like a baby and I had many sleepless nights. It made me question myself. I asked myself: Should I continue living my normal, comfortable life with an accounting degree doing a little voluntary service here and there? Or should I make a huge shift, give up everything and dedicate myself totally to the service to others? That experience had such an impact on me that I knew that I had to step out of my comfort zone and do something for people beyond my immediate circle—my family, friends and associates.

Many people may face a crossroad like this one, and often people decide not to take the risk. I’ve heard from my friends and clients that they will focus on giving back to their communities after they retire, that they don’t have the luxury to follow their purpose now, that they have too many other responsibilities right now.

I, too, had responsibilities — we owned two accounting practices, my daughter was eight years old and my son was only three, and we lived with my ageing parents. However, I felt an inner sense of conviction that this is what I was meant to do and this was the direction towards which the universe was guiding me.

There were certainly ups and downs throughout this journey — I share the full story in the book as well as in my latest TEDx Talk. Here, I must mention that my wife ensured that I didn’t go about this huge shift in a reckless manner. She managed the accounting business with my partner Kend to provide the foundation for my career shift.

» Buy SPARK by Azim Jamal on Amazon (Available in Kindle, Paperback and Hardcover)

Dealing with failure and setbacks

Manoj Khatri: How do you get over failures and disappointments in your life?
Azim Jamal: The only way to tap into your intrinsic power is through obstacles. Unless you face setbacks, your power remains dormant. Failures, hurdles, and challenges are stepping stones to success. My friend, Dr. John Demartini, has a beautiful perspective on obstacles. He says, “Obstacles are not in the way, they are on the way.”

Everyone experiences failures and disappointments, even very successful people like Steve Jobs, for instance, faced major setbacks. Try looking at disappointments and failures as a blessing instead of a burden. Instead of asking “Why me?”, ask yourself “Why not me?”

You are born a genius and the best way to tap into your genius is to be tested. Rumi, the great Sufi poet, used to cite the analogy of a chickpea to describe the human condition — he used to say that just like the chickpea, unless we’re boiled, we remain uncooked. Trials and tribulations cook us up, so that we are ready to serve.

Marry your passion with reason

Manoj Khatri: Indeed, struggles and challenges are necessary to bring forth our intrinsic potential. But many people feel stuck in their circumstances — they may have responsibilities, mortgage, student loans, and so on. They find it difficult to conceive of a life doing what they love in the service of others. What advice do you have for such individuals?
Azim Jamal: It is daunting, no doubt. That is why it is important for you to marry your passion with reason. Kahlil Gibran wrote in The Prophet, “Your reason and your passion are the rudder and the sails of your seafaring soul. If either your sails or your rudder be broken, you can but toss and drift, or else be held at a standstill in mid-seas. For reason, ruling alone, is a force confining and passion, unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction.” So, both passion and reason are needed to navigate the sea of life.

Think of your ideal long-term job or profession and then, every day, do something that prepares you for your long-term goal. If you are worried about money and survival, start by sparing just an hour daily to pursue your passion, while continuing your present job. Of course, it is also important that you believe in yourself. If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will.

Another piece of advice I have for those who are looking to make a difference is to tap into the power of collaboration. In other words, don’t try to do it all by yourself. Find your tribe. Collaborate with like-minded individuals.

Generosity beyond money

Manoj Khatri: That is sound advice, indeed. Moving on, you emphasize on generosity of spirit in your books and programs. Could you share a few non-monetary ways that readers can put generosity of spirit into practice?
Azim Jamal: Give what you can — smile, offer a prayer, perform an act of love. Nobody is deprived of giving—it the most powerful thing you have. Generosity is often misconstrued to be only financial in nature but that’s a myth. There are so many wonderful ways you can give that don’t involve money. Here are a few that come to mind:

• Donate your time, your positive energy, your guidance
• Catch people doing things right
• Listen intently
• Give people the benefit of doubt
• Send prayers and love to one and all

You know, being kind doesn’t cost money but it benefits everybody. Kindness not only blesses the receiver, but also the giver. It improves the functioning of the immune system and stimulates the production of serotonin. And what’s more, even the observers of kindness experience similar benefits!

Remember, you can’t receive with a closed fist… you need to open your fist and give, in order to receive.

How meditation helps unlock your superpower

Manoj Khatri: Thank you so much for that inspiring response. I, too, am a great believer in the power of giving and your perspectives have reinforced my conviction. Before we wind up, could you share what your typical day looks like? And what is it that you never miss doing each day, no matter how demanding your schedule?
Azim Jamal: I start my day with a goal to make each day the happiest and most impactful day of my life. My ideal day looks like this:

• Wake up at 3.30 am
• Meditate from 4 – 5 am
• Pray 5 am – 5.30 am
• Exercise 5.30 – 6 am
• Read something uplifting 6 – 6.30 am
• Finish breakfast
• Attend to the top three personal goals followed by the top three business goals

Usually, the above is done before noon. Afternoons are flexible. My evenings are dedicated to family. I try to go to bed by 9.30pm.

Now, coming to the second part of your question. My success is largely due to my meditation practice, and that is why I try not to skip my daily meditation. Let me share a story with you to help you understand why I say this:

When I was young, I wasn’t particularly bright. I did poorly in academics and I didn’t have much scope for pursuing higher studies. But I was good at sports and I was a strong leader. I was also heavily involved in voluntary work. That helped me find a college seat to pursue Accounting, and I did very well in it and completed my CPA and my accounting career took off. I attribute this success to the moment I started meditating when I was 18 years old. That changed me and, as a result, I became calmer and much more peaceful, disciplined. That was the secret of my success in higher education and accounting career; it was also what subsequently empowered me to change my career to writing, speaking, and coaching 25 years ago. My meditation practice continues to help me reflect and grow even today.

Manoj Khatri: That is a wonderful story. Thank you so much for your wonderful insights. My very best for the success of SPARK. I am sure readers across the world will find it immensely useful as a practical guide to create a life beyond just empty success to success with significance.
Azim Jamal: Thank you for your good wishes and for the opportunity to share my thoughts, it’s been a pleasure.

The post Ignite your inner SPARK — An interview with Azim Jamal appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

1. Tell us about the onset and diagnosis of Parkinson’s disease for your mom-in-law

The first noticeable symptom of Parkinson’s was her tremendous weight loss despite eating well. My mom-in-law was a very active person. However, after her fall she’s been bedridden for the last four months. Until the onslaught of the pandemic, she used to go to the neighbourhood club to play number games [bingo] almost every day. The pandemic came as a jolt and her active life turned turtle and she was confined in the apartment 24×7 with no activities to engage in. Over the weeks she lost track of day, date and month. We thought it was the lockdown as most of us were feeling overwhelmed and trying to deal with this brain fog. However, eventually she started to forget things involving day-to-day activity like bathing, basic hygiene after using the washroom, taking off the dentures before bedtime, taking her regular medicines, operating television and mobile phone and so on. Often she wouldn’t remember that she has already eaten a meal. We noticed that she was forgetting things, events and people. Since I have preliminary knowledge about the symptoms, I suggested we opt for an online consultation with a neurologist. Subsequently she was diagnosed Dementia with Parkinsonism.

2. What have been the biggest challenges as caregivers to someone with Parkinson’s

The biggest challenge is to stay balanced and level-headed while dealing with a Dementia/Parkinson’s afflicted patient. They are bound to behave erratically, aggressively and sometimes even nasty which, at times, could be very hurtful. At such times it does take a toll on the caregivers physical as well as emotional wellbeing. We also had to deal with sleep deprivation, fatigue, anxiety and uncertainty of the future amongst many other challenges. Personally, I was coping with isolation too. The lockdowns, followed by her sudden diagnosis, cut me off from the outside world.

I missed out on family get-togethers or holidays— I did not even visit my maternal family, despite being in the same city. We had to say no to so many dinner invites and social gatherings, as we had no help even for those few hours to sincerely look after my mother in law. Emotionally, my mother in law is extremely dependent on my husband and me and after dementia she expects us to help her carry out her day-to-day requirements. It was challenging but we kept reminding ourselves that our mother is looking for support in us and all we can do is be by her side.

3. How do you keep your MIL mentally active?

I did a thorough research on dementia and Parkinson’s and also consulted doctors and other caregivers on how I can keep her motivated. I joined a few support groups/ caregiver groups. The encouragement from all these unknown people who were sailing in the same boat facing different storms is another kind of love and empathy.

Initial responses from the other caregivers were to spend a good amount of time with her, use effective communication and be her emotional support. They also emphasised on doing small tasks.

I started giving her simple brain taxing exercises. For example, I mixed different coloured grains and asked her to segregate them; I showed her family photographs and asked her to identify the members in it. Later I played bingo with her; I made her practise reading as well as writing her name and address, solved puzzles, involved her in organising her cupboards etc. Since she is religiously inclined, we made sure she prayed everyday. Apart from this we also had all our meals together which made her feel happy. Every month I give her a manicure/pedicure and paint her nails.

4. Do you feel like you’re burning out. If yes, how do you deal with it?

Of course! We feel helpless, frustrated and dejected so often. Burnout is natural as we were dealing with the double change of her illness and the lockdown. Trying to understand and adjust to the changes in her behaviour at a time when there absolutely no external help available was really exhausting. We yearned for a break for just a few hours in a week but it was impossible. Caregivers struggle with finding me-time. Nevertheless, we are really thankful to a few people who have been our sounding board. I am grateful to one of our close friends who has been accessible on phone 24*7, despite staying in a different city. Whenever we felt like venting we call him. He keeps us motivated, shares our pain and gives logical, spiritual and practical reasons to continue caregiving. Talking to someone you trust always helps. I also make sure to regularly stay in touch with my maternal family and my close friends over video calls/ messages — it helps to keep me going.

During some moments of boredom or burnout my husband and I would take time out and create a restaurant like setup at home, order good food and enjoy a delectable meal. I would mindfully indulge in some online shopping. I started practising gratitude and also conducted gratitude workshops month after month to keep myself occupied. To divert my mind from caregiving challenges, I utilised the time being at home to complete my Postgraduate Diploma in Counselling [online]. The idea was to sneak out some me-time/ we-time amidst caregiving when we were reaching the threshold.

5. Did you consider hiring professional help to take care of her?

My husband and I have always been her primary caregivers. Like I mentioned earlier, she is dependent on us emotionally and getting help for her would probably make her feel neglected leading her to feel more vulnerable and be more aggressive. Like a little child needs her parents, she needed us around in front of her eyes. We understood that such patients are required to be connected more on the emotional level than on the medical level.

We also had our inhibitions about hiring help from nursing agencies due to the ongoing pandemic.

6. What symptoms of Parkinson’s are most challenging for patients and caregivers.

There are many! For example, those with dementia/Parkinson’s tend to have disturbed sleep which leads to sleep deprivation in caregivers. Sometime, they may try to get out of the house in the middle of the night, like my mom-in-law once did. Since we stayed with her 24*7, we could notice every little change in her behavior and thus take the necessary action to prevent any hazards. We got a safety lock fixed from inside the house to make sure she’s safe while we slept at night.

There were days when she lost control of her bladder or bowels and those days were very challenging for her as she felt embarrassed and helpless. It was equally challenging for us to deal with her at such times as either she would cry inconsolably or behave obnoxiously. We were bound to feel tired and get upset. However my husband and I tried our level best to maintain our equilibrium and stayed focussed on helping her.

Most people are unaware that Dementia/Parkinson patients can sometimes use severe caustic language, which can hurt the caregiver deeply. My husband and I too had our share of such instances when we felt suffocated.

7. Tell us about your experience from the perspective of a daughter-in-law

It is a constant battle between practicality v/s morality. Practically, we feel we must focus on living our life, move on from caregiving, work towards our future or go on a good-long holiday. Yet, on moral grounds we feel the struggle my mother is going through is real. And, at such times all she needs is reassurance that we are here. We are truly glad we have been continuing to be there for her. Although caregiving is a seemingly never-ending roller-coaster ride, it has made us more selfless, compassionate, loving, caring and patient individuals.

The role reversal made everything smooth and easy going. My paradigm shift of taking up the role of a nurturing parent to my mother-in-law gave rise to tremendous compassion and humility in me. I started to address her by her name and in no time we became very good friends. My love manifested and encompassed her so well that, like a child, she surrendered to me and thereafter she couldn’t let me slip out of her sight, even for an hour.

8. What do you think is lacking in India for patients and families with Parkinson’s?

1. Lack of awareness about the condition
2. Not disclosing the diagnosis to friends and family considering it to be a taboo
3. Siblings not sharing the responsibility of care-giving, thereby causing burnouts
4. Not consulting the neurologist regularly
5. Forgetting to provide emotional support to our senior citizens.

One must realise that what patients of Parkinson’s disease feel lonely and isolated and most of the time they are unable to express it and hence make do with whatever they are getting. But, all they look for is emotional support which most of us either forget to offer or are too busy to give. The moment we realise and accept that emotional support system is important along with other paraphernalia, one can develop an excellent relationship with the patient.

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Rakesh Sinha: In 1986, I was performing a C-Section on a woman who had some previous surgery. She had scar tissue and that is why we had to do a C-Section. The thing about C-Sections is that once the anaesthesia is given, in approximately 7.5 minutes, you must deliver the baby. We take a little time to clean up the patient, paint and drape, put in catheters. From the time I put in the incision in the abdomen, I have about 2.5 minutes to deliver the baby. If I take longer, there is a possibility that the baby will aspirate some fluid into the lungs and the baby can actually drown inside.

I started this surgery, cut open the abdomen, the skin, the subcutaneous fat and I realised that there was no space. The anesthesiologist was there and so was the paediatrician; to take the baby. It was 60 seconds, and I was nowhere close to delivering the baby.

I thought of everything that I had read about C-sections: I was a Post Graduate teacher, so I was recollecting what I would tell students if I was to teach them how to handle such situations. And I was nowhere close to opening the uterus and delivering the baby.

The anaesthetist said, ‘Dr Sinha, 90 seconds up’. And I started getting worried; I just did not know how to go ahead. I kept asking for the mop and the haemostasis and the diathermy, and time went on. 120 seconds up. And I could actually feel beads of sweat flowing down my forehead. I started imagining the worst things that could happen to the baby: I started imagining, what do I tell the husband of this women who was sitting out, ready to become a father? What do I tell this woman when she comes out of anaesthesia, hey, why did I lose the baby [if I had lost the baby]? And about 130 seconds later, I split open the uterus and delivered the baby.

The baby was not breathing. I handed over the baby to the paediatrician, and until the paediatrician resuscitated the baby, I just couldn’t continue with the surgery. And it was only after a few seconds that I could hear a few gasps of the baby. And then the paediatrician said, the baby is fine, Dr Sinha, continue with the surgery. And then the baby cried. And Jack, I tell you, I nearly cried, hearing the baby cry.

So my question here is, do I blame the surgeon who had done the previous surgery and say, hey, it’s not my fault, you didn’t do the earlier surgery well and so I am in this state.; Or do I say, okay I am tired today, so I’ll get up tomorrow morning and start again. Or do I google “how do I delivery a baby in this condition”?

I learnt a few lessons during this episode: the first one was, we must become unstoppable: whatever we take up, we should just not stop. The second one was, failure is not an option: how could I start a surgery like this, and expect to fail.

And the third lesson was: it isn’t over until I WIN. There’s no stopping over.

I think the important thing is what are the thoughts that you think of in these situations? What are the images you build up in your mind? And, what action do you take?

Jack Canfield: You are writing a book on the Anatomy of Success, and you are deconstructing success by taking it down to its basic elements just like you would when you’re working on a cadaver to learn how the body is. So what have you found: what are these elements and how is that whole process for you?

Rakesh Sinha: You know, when we start dissecting in the anatomy hall, we cut open the cadavers, we actually go into the skeletal system i.e. the bones, the muscles and the ligaments. So that’s Anatomy.

When we look at the components of success, essentially there are three components: first is, Biology; the second is the Learned component; the third is the Cognitive component. And finally there is neurophysiology, the neurotransmitters, which are there all over the brain.

Biology means the genetic makeup, anatomical centres [like the various centres for decision-making etc.]

Then we have the learned component, and Benjamin Barber said it beautifully, “There are two kinds of people: it’s not the rich’ and the poor, it’s not the educated and the uneducated, it’s not the people living in urban areas and the villages. There are only two kinds of people: learners and non-learners. And it’s been found that the successful people are the learners.”

The third component is the cognitive component, also called volition. It’s your thinking, it’s your inner urge. It is this component that helps us all to succeed. So you may not be very genetically privileged, you may not have had a brilliant upbringing. But if you have this inner urge to succeed, then this component gets anyone to succeed. So these are the three components of deconstructing the word success.

Jack Canfield: A lot of people would say, okay, wait a second, Rakesh, What about luck? What about being at the right place at the right time? What about negative factors that influence you from outside and that’s what determines your success? What’s your position about luck?

Rakesh Sinha: When preparation meets opportunity, that’s when others call it luck. In the 1972 Olympics, Mark Spitz won seven Gold medals. And that was the first time someone got seven individual gold medals. He was asked by a journalist; when he came out of the water with his 7th win, “Hey Mark this must be your lucky day’. And Mark apparently turned around, smiled and said, luck was not designed for such achievements — you can’t get a Gold medal in the Olympics by being lucky.

Luck is when you go to Vegas and you’re sitting at a casino, you pull that slot machine, and you get a lot of coins: that’s luck. I can’t become an excellent surgeon by being lucky.

So all of us have the same resource: we have 1,440 minutes in a day, 525,600 minutes in a year: that’s it! Whether you’re rich or poor, whether you’re educated or uneducated, that’s the resource all of us have. How we utilise that, actually decides how successful we are to become rather of saying, I was lucky.

We should be willing to pay the price in full. I think you’ve discussed this several times: if you want to achieve success, find out what is it going to cost you in terms of your effort, courage and determination [not money]. Pay the price in full and pay upfront i.e. in advance, if you want to achieve success in life.

Jack Canfield: I know that you’ve learned lessons from your patients that you’ve written about in your book. What are some of those lessons?

Rakesh Sinha: When my patient signs the Informed Consent for surgery, she actually entrusts her life to me. She writes down, I’m willing to undergo this surgery; whatever decision Dr Sinha takes is fine with me; whatever anaesthesia is given, whatever are the consequences of this surgery. That means she trusts me so much. The lesson that I learned was that I can’t betray that trust. Under any circumstances, I must live up to that trust. So can we extrapolate this to other professions and businesses?

When your customer comes to you, they trust you with your product or service. So you should never betray that trust. Trust was one of the most important factors I had learnt.

The second was Competence. When a woman comes into my clinic to do surgery, she hopes that I am competent enough to do the surgery. She has done her homework, but she does not know what kind of training I’ve had. I need to develop competence to take care of her pathology under all circumstances.

I decided to Challenge Mediocrity: I decided I never wanted to be an average surgeon, I decided I wanted to do whatever it takes to become a brilliant surgeon. So let me ask you a question: would you like to take your wife to an average surgeon for surgery or would you like to go to an excellent surgeon? Challenge mediocrity in whatever profession anyone is in.

The third lesson was, Completion. And I realised that my patients want my help from the time they first walk into my clinic till the time their surgeries are complete and the post-operative recovery takes place, the histopathology reports are seen, and they want me to complete that entire loop and say, hey you are absolutely fine. Please go back home. I would hate to leave that patient in-between and say, now you’ll be managed by somebody else. Patients dislike that.

Jack Canfield: Is there anything else you would like to share before we bring this to a close?

Rakesh Sinha: To summarise, the world is divided into learners and non-learners. Hope is not a good success strategy. As a surgeon I realised that if there is an artery that is bleeding, I can’t stand there and say, “I hope this artery stops bleeding.” I better stitch that up or use a diathermy and seal that bleeding [as opposed to saying, “I HOPE that turns out good.”] So, as I mentioned earlier, God does not play dice with human beings. All of us have the ability, we have the Biological component that helps us, Learned component we have to put in a little effort, and finally the Cognitive component which actually gets us to think, to achieve whatever we want to achieve.

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When did you realize that dancing is what you wanted to do?

Terence Lewis: From the tender age of five itself, I knew it. I loved to dance and entertain people; I liked to see the happy faces of my family every time I would break in to an act. As a child, I picked up most of my dancing from watching dance moves on television.

You met with a lot of obstacles before you finally tasted success. What kept you going in those years?

Terence Lewis: My own inner strength kept me going. I faced hardships from very early on in life, but I think they were a blessing, disguised as challenges. They taught me to rely only on myself, be it financially or emotionally. Later, as my team of dancers and my creative team grew, they took my dream to an altogether new level. They too had similar goals as I. They are the true heroes who helped me realize my dream of making dance education accessible under one roof in Mumbai and also spread awareness about Contemporary dance.

Besides dancing, in what way do you love to express yourself?

Terence Lewis: Any form of art is a canvas for me to express myself… whether it is writing, acting, decorating or designing. I would say I am an artist in the true sense. But in whatever I do, I strive to excel, nothing about me is mediocre. And I cannot tolerate mediocrity even in others.

In dance reality shows, does it ever happen that competition kills creativity?

Terence Lewis: Well, it all depends on how the participant looks at it. When it is taken to an extreme where one is only focusing on winning, based on what the audience or judges want to see, then creativity could be marred. Yet, if you focus on the art and take competition in the correct sense, knowing that it is a challenge, creativity gets heightened.

Who is your inspiration?

Terence Lewis: I am inspired by almost anyone who is honest, hardworking and has a dream that he or she wants to see realized.

What are the values that you cherish most in life?

Terence Lewis: A never-give-up attitude is what I cherish the most. In addition, honesty and forgiveness are values that rate high on my list.

With your experience of being a mentor and teacher to many aspiring dancers, what qualities are essential for any teacher?

Terence Lewis: As a teacher, one has to be humble. You can never compete with your own students, no matter how good they may be. In the process, every teacher also learns something from his or her own students. It is always a give and take relationship.

Can you tell us about the tattoo you sport on your chest?

Terence Lewis: It’s a Sanskrit shloka. It’s about invoking the God within, to help one move from unreal to real, from darkness to light and from mortality to immortality.

Dancing is said to be the closest metaphor to God. Your view on this?

Terence Lewis: Every time I am moved by a performance or a piece of art, I see God in it. God is in the details and only a person who is close to God can bring out the finest points and the finest detailing. Dance unifies the dancer with the Universe… the Maker. When we give a performance that touches another soul, you know it is God’s message being conveyed to us.

What do you do when you’re feeling low, sad or angry?

Terence Lewis: When I am low, I do kriya yoga. I also read or listen to soothing chants or any audio tapes of Sadhguru.

Would you say you have discovered your life’s purpose?

Terence Lewis: I think we are constantly changing and evolving as a race. As we walk our paths, we seek to fulfil different purposes in our lifetime. For me, the search continues…

Finally, what are the lessons that dance has taught you?

Terence Lewis: When you dance, especially contemporary dance, in a way, you’re telling the world your story. And remember, body movements don’t lie. If you are tired, it shows. When you are exuberant, it shows. Like they say… Yeh joh public hai yeh sab jaanti hai (Public knows everything).

Dance has taught me humility, as a dancer or an artist, we learn that only through practice and perseverance can one excel in his or her art. And yet if you want people to notice your art, you need the best marketing and sales manager (smiles).

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Aamir Khan: More than inspired, I would say I have been influenced—by actors like Dilip Kumar, Raj Kapoor, Amitabh Bachchan and Waheeda Rehman.

After all the success you have achieved, what motivates you and where does your thirst, hunger, inspiration and energy come from?

Aamir Khan: Soon after Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak, I signed 8 – 10 films, which didn’t do well at the box office. I would go home and cry about it—I thought it was the end of my career. Then I started declining offers. Even Mahesh Bhatt offered me a role that I refused. He was surprised and he told me that I’m not doing the right thing. But I had made up my mind not to sign films for the sake of money, fame or big banners. I decided that I will work in a film only when I was confident of being a substantial part of it. Then I took up Dil, which became a hit. From then on, I began creating my own path instead of following what the other actors were doing.

I have never worked for money and I think that is one of my biggest strengths. It’s not that I don’t need money… all of us need it. But according to me, I earn the least among my peers. Yet I am very happy because I do what my heart says—I follow my gut feeling. For instance, Kiran had not liked the script of Rang De Basanti but I didn’t go with her instinct. I liked it and went ahead. At times I go wrong with my instincts but most of the times I get it right.

I never compromise on the quality of work. I strive to do better every time. I work in a medium where you connect to a large number of people and that’s why I try to do something different each time. This want and thirst to do better each time gives me the energy to do more and more.

What are your innermost insecurities and fears at this stage of life?

Aamit Khan: I have a lot of insecurity. I am constantly worried at so many levels. In fact I am called ‘Captain Caution’ by my family. They have also designed a cape for me and call it the ‘life jacket” and they have designed a logo for me. I am constantly worried about losing a person who is close to me and that’s my biggest fear. I am insecure about work too—I fear that I will wake up someday and all my work will go away and I will be the last one to know about it. Which is why I think I take things so seriously. People call me a perfectionist because I put in so much thought and hard work in my films and in everything I do in life. I don’t want to be the last one to know about my work. I give it a lot of value. I absorb, feel and grow. If I feel someone is sharper than me I value it even more. I keep thinking and analysing a lot. I think that if I could go back at this point, I could have done it differently—that’s when I started opening my mind.

Was doing films the default choice for you, considering your family’s film background?

Aamir Khan: When I started acting with Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak I never thought I would make it as a star or achieve so much in life. I don’t consider myself a star like Salman Khan and Shah Rukh Khan. I can’t be like them. I consider Salman a star because he can bulldoze his way into anything. About myself, I think it is strange when you think of doing something but land up elsewhere… somewhere you didn’t even expect yourself to be. One mustn’t forget that life can take all these unexpected twists and turns.

What do you think about your cousin Mansoor Khan’s decision of leaving the industry for good and settling down as a farmer?

Aamir Khan: We want Mansoor back to make films but he is happy where he is, in Ooty. We did manage to bring him back as a writer. Mansoor has approved of the concept and is currently working on the script and we are all chipping in with our ideas. But he doesn’t want to take up direction yet.

What motivated you to take up Satyamev Jayate?

Aamir Khan:The germ of the show was with me even 15 years ago. I used to read a lot of newspapers and met a lot of people.  I was disturbed by what was happening around me. I would be troubled by the injustice that was meted out to people. I used to wonder how things can change and what I can do to bring about that change for those who are less privileged than me. When I started discussing these things with my team, we all decided we could make a show about these current topics and it was very exciting. It was something I had never attempted. We travelled across the country to do extensive research before the show.

Has life changed for you in anyway after doing Satyamev Jayate? Are you planning another season of it?

Aamir Khan: Life has certainly changed. It has been a tremendous learning experience as well as an emotionally charged one. I cried a lot while I was watching some of the incidents. I feel what is happening in the country of late is very sad for girls—it’s traumatic. I am a very emotional person and I get hurt easily. But when I looked at the enormity of their situations, I felt I was in a very happy space. So yes, I got to learn a lot of things that I was not aware of earlier. And as a consequence, I have tried to incorporate a lot of changes in my personal life.

You’ve been supporting a lot of social issues. Have you ever considered contesting elections?

Aamir Khan: No, I think I am not meant for that, so I won’t be joining politics. One need not join politics to serve the society. I feel I am able to do a lot being in the stream that I am in. I can contribute much more through my show Satyamev Jayate and I am happy doing that.

There is a lot of great new talent in the industry now. Do you have your moments of insecurity?

Aamir Khan: No, in fact I love all these young stars. I like Ranbir Kapoor. When I watched Barfi, I asked Kiran what is it that he is doing that I cannot. He has qualities that I don’t have, and I think he is a fantastic actor.

I always strive to do better than other actors. I am genuinely fond of Salman and find him very charming. He’s one star who can run a film on his shoulders. I loved Sanjay Dutt in Munnabhai… Good work gives me great joy and it may not necessarily be mine. I like Shah Rukh in his romantic roles like Diwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. I have yet to see Chak De— it’s on my list of films to watch.

Are you at a stage where you can take both criticism and praise with a smile? Does it hurt you when you are not appreciated?

Aamir Khan: I take criticism very seriously but I don’t read too many reviews of my films. There are a few critics I take seriously and few other I choose to ignore always. I often read ‘Rotten Tomatoes’ to gauge their ratings. I have always treated a film review as an opinion of one person and do not see it as a yardstick of how many people have liked the film. If a person has not liked the film, you have to accept that the film did not connect with that person. If 90 per cent of people have liked a film, I am happy with that. I don’t bother about people appreciating only my work. For me, it’s important that the film is appreciated in its entirety.

Would you call yourself a control freak?

Aamir Khan: No, and hope I never will be one. I make sure that I give much freedom to everyone around me. They are free to voice their opinions or give suggestions. If I like it I will imbibe it or else I will explain to them why I think that I am right and they are wrong.

What do you like reading? Any favourite books/authors?

Aamir Khan: I love reading all kinds of books, especially autobiographies and mysteries. I read all the latest books. I read the Harry Hole detective series by Jo Nesbo. Currently I am reading The Bat from that series. The last two books I read were The Lost Boy by Thomas Wolfe and A Child Called ‘It’ by Dave Pelzer.

You’re a parent again now, after almost two decades. How has the experience been so far?

Aamir Khan: I think there’s not much difference between then and now. Unfortunately I don’t get to spend much time with my children. But that doesn’t mean I am a bad father. I try to give as much time I can give Azad these days. I read bed time stories for him. Earlier I would take him to my sets everyday. He used to wake up and see me getting ready for work and he would cling to me. I would take him on the sets and when he was tired he would go off to sleep and by 11am I would send him back home.

Is there any advice you would like to give to the younger generation today?

Aamir Khan: I think the young generation today spends a lot of time on Facebook and Twitter, which may not be required. I also feel that they are sharing all their personal details online, and they need to be more cautious about that.

Finally, what is your recipe for a happy and healthy life?

Aamir Khan: Do what makes you happy; don’t worry about being successful. Be courageous and live life on your terms. Life is full of ups and downs and everyone goes through personal or professional losses. While it is important to mourn that loss, at the same time it’s equally important to take care of yourself. Eat healthy and exercise a lot—fitness is essential for everyone.

The post “I do what my heart says” — Aamir Khan (Throwback) appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Doesn’t the pressure of performance affect you personally?
Yuvraj Singh: I am a cricketer… that is my job. And that job comes with a price; it always gets into my personal life. But over the years, I have reconciled the fact that being a cricketer comes with a lot of responsibility. I have learnt to deal with it and not let it affect my personal life.

Similarly, do you also manage to keep your emotions in check when you are on the field? [we’re referring to the Flintoff episode]
Yuvraj Singh: The Flintoff incident was because he made me angry and I decided to tell him off by performing with the bat. I am glad that he got the message when I hit a six for each of his six balls in an over.

I try not to get my emotions involved in the game; cricket is a mind game and emotions can ruin that sometimes. However, we are all human and sometimes our emotions do take over us.

So does your heart guide you or your mind?
Yuvraj Singh: My mind; there are many things my heart desires, but I have to make sure that they are right for me. So, my mind always makes my decisions. And I have a very strong mind. When I decide that I want to do something, I make sure it happens. For instance, when I decided to be a cricketer, I set my mind to it and put in my 100 per cent.

Is your body equally strong? What do you do to maintain your fitness levels?
Yuvraj Singh: For me, physical fitness is crucial, as I have to maintain my stamina to run on field. For that, I exercise at least for 30 minutes every day—it could be running or swimming or weight training [thrice a week]. I also am careful about what I eat on a daily basis.

Does that mean you have to make a lot of compromises in your food habits?
Yuvraj Singh: Not necessarily; I eat whatever I want, but in moderation. Eggs, chicken—in fact, any form of protein—forms a large part of my diet, as it helps in muscle strengthening. Having said that, I also include carbs in my diet, as they too play a key role in an athlete’s life due to the energy they provide.

Does it also help you cope with injury?
Yuvraj Singh: When you are injured, physical rest is the most important thing, as your body needs time to recover. It is also important to be happy mentally as that makes your mind stronger for recovery. Along with the medical treatment and rest, I always find that being at home and spending time with friends and family always helps recover faster.

Moving on…you had said in an interview that you “learnt a lot about life” during your Vengsarkar academy days. What were the lessons?
Yuvraj Singh: Yes I had said that. At that time I used to travel by the local trains in Mumbai and that’s where I learnt how hard life is for some people. I also learnt that each one of us has his/her own struggles in life… it taught me to appreciate the good that I have in my life and I always thank God for that.

Coming back to your game… you get high praise for playing well and a good thrashing when you don’t. How do you handle such opposite reactions?
Yuvraj Singh: I have learnt to ignore them. I don’t take either the praise or the thrashing very seriously. At the end of the day, my game is what matters the most. I just have to continue focussing on my game and let my game talk for itself. If I let the trash talk get to me, I won’t be able to concentrate on my game.

But the outcome must be affecting you to some extent…
Yuvraj Singh: Cricket is a religion in India and the country has a lot of expectations from cricketers. So, when I don’t play well, I do feel like I have let a lot of people down. But at the end of the day, even I am a human being just like everybody else and only capable of so much.

Still, I try my best to stay mentally strong to keep doing my best; that is all I can count on.

Is that how you tackle tough times?
Yuvraj Singh: When I am going through my rough phases, my family and friends help me in staying mentally strong. Especially my mother—she is my biggest support system. I turn to her for everything. She has been my greatest strength so far.

What about the rest of your family?
Yuvraj Singh: It is during rough times in life that you realise the importance of family. My family members have always supported me for everything I have done. I get my inspiration from them.

But your dad didn’t support your passion for skating…
Yuvraj Singh: I was so young that I didn’t understand fully what I was getting into. Things just started happening for me with cricket and I leant to enjoy the game with time. When I look back now, I thank my father for pushing me so hard to become a cricketer. If not for him, we wouldn’t be having this conversation…[laughs]

A bit about your other relationships…
Yuvraj Singh: We all have are our relationships; you learn so much from all kinds of relationships and I give great importance to having good relations with everyone.

Your advice to readers of Complete Wellbeing?
Yuvraj Singh: Tomorrow is a new day, let yesterday go and look ahead.

The post Yuvraj Singh: "I have a very strong mind" appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Manoj Khatri [MK]: First of all, my compliments for writing such an amazing book [Don’t lose your mind, lose your weight]. I actually don’t need to lose weight, so there is no question of my losing my mind. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the book very much.

Rujuta Diwekar: Thanks, I am glad you liked it.

MK: The pleasant surprise for me and my colleagues was that many of your philosophies—if I may call them so—are the ones we propagate too. Complete Wellbeing is based on a copyrighted concept of the Three chakras, the idea being that individuals are not sum of parts—we are not a mind+a body+a soul.

Rujuta Diwekar: That’s true and I think it is high time we all wake up to this truth.

MK: Absolutely! That’s basically our objective when we bring out the magazine. We too highlight the hidden interconnections and inter-dependencies between various aspects—including relationships and satisfaction at work—and how these affect our physical health. This brings me to my first question—in your opinion, what is the number one reason for people to lose their mind when they attempt to lose weight?

Rujuta Diwekar: The top reason for people to lose their minds is lack of awareness—of themselves and of the uniqueness of their bodies. This unawareness leads them to try out every fad possible in order to become the ‘ideal’ size, shape or weight. If only such individuals spend time understanding their bodies, they will begin to appreciate and love themselves exactly as they are.

Desperately wanting your body to comply with the current fashion trends is what produces frustration and anger towards it. This anger with your body makes you starve it, which is obvious—if you don’t love your body, then there is little motivation to feed your body. And, an unfed, undernourished body has a restless mind. It’s a downward spiral.

MK: So what you’re saying is that acceptance of oneself is imperative for losing weight.

Rujuta Diwekar: Yes, accept and love your body, but do so unconditionally. Do not love your body only if it loses 10kg or becomes two dress-sizes smaller.

MK: Talk of obsession about size! I know of people who weigh just right but they just want to get into the right size. Then they end up losing what we call the ‘good weight’.

Rujuta Diwekar: Again, this is mindless obsession at work. A couple of decades ago, when the fashion market in India was still under-developed, international brands introduced ready-to-wear garments, which adhered to the sizes and shapes of western natives. Soon, everyone began to hate their bodies thinking that they were the wrong size and shape. Little did they realise that they don’t fit into those western clothes because they were never meant to.

Each one of us is different: the Oriental body is different from that of an African, which again is different from an Indian. Even within India, a North Indian is different from a South Indian.

But instead of celebrating our differences, we are all trying to mould ourselves into a one-size-fits-all standard. As a country, our strength lies in our diversity. Our culture is all about celebrating the differences, which can happen only when we accept those differences in the first place.

MK: How true. Standardisation is absurd—it is almost like treating our bodies like machines.

Rujuta Diwekar: Yes, it is like treating our bodies as items—as bodies without any minds, souls, feelings, or karma.

MK: The clothes we wear are actually supposed to be made for us, but we have ended up trying to become something different for our clothes—how ironical. This discussion about Indian culture reminds me of your book—you discuss the Ayurveda philosophy that states that eating at the right time is as important as eating the right quantity/quality of food.

Rujuta Diwekar: Absolutely! I think the real challenge for all of us is to stop thinking in terms of numbers. In our career, we must give more importance to job satisfaction and less to the salary package.

In our relationships, love and compatibility must precede everything else. But look at the matrimonial ads—they are all about numbers: weight, height, salary and so on.

When it comes to food, we are paranoid about ‘number of calories’, whereas we must actually think in terms of whether the food we are eating is nourishing my body, mind and soul. Only when we begin to think about food in the right way, will we become more sensible about what we eat instead of being as frivolous about it as we are now.

MK: Surely you must be encountering many people who struggle to lose weight, give up, then label themselves as failures.

Rujuta Diwekar: Yes. But what I have realised over a period of time is that in such cases body weight is not really the issue. The real problem is a feeling of inadequacy arising out of challenges in other areas of life such as relationships, career or even personal fulfilment. It’s unfortunate that body weight has become one of the most acceptable expressions of this inadequacy.

MK: Can you give me an example of this?

Rujuta Diwekar: Sure. I know of many women, who have this distressing feeling that they have zoomed past life without doing anything meaningful. So, if you love playing the guitar and complain about not being able to play it for 20 years, you don’t find much support from those around you.

But if you say, “I really want to wear low waist jeans, but just can’t! Look at my flab,” you will be surprised to find a lot more people who empathise with you. Somehow, being obsessed about body weight is much more acceptable than being obsessed with a passion.

MK: Hmm. Perhaps they are just trying to evade the real problems by looking for fulfilment and satisfaction elsewhere. Chasing financial success, for instance.

Rujuta Diwekar: People haven’t really figured this out: there is a cost of making money. Once we figure out the cost, and we are at peace with it, then it’s OK. But sometimes, the cost is much higher than the money made and then discontent sets in.

MK: That’s a nice thought, and it’s almost counter-intuitive. In fact, so much of what you’ve written in your book, is counter-intuitive. For example, most people would find it difficult to believe that one can actually lose weight by eating more. How did you discover this approach?

Rujuta Diwekar: This approach is not new. it’s ancient. Every single religion talks about going beyond the limitations of the body. To take your body beyond limitations, you have to nourish it.

If you study the traditional Indian scriptures, you will find that there is a scientific basis for the way we consume food. We sit on the floor, for instance. Even the food is served on our plates in a certain way: certain foods go on the right side of the plate, certain on the left and a few stay in the centre.

Eating at the right time, in the right quantity, and with the right attitude is an important part of the process of nourishment. The ancient scriptures outline that we don’t eat simply to feed the body–we eat for a higher purpose. All this is deeply ingrained into our culture and is something our mothers and grandmothers have always spoken about. A lot of it is actually what I have seen being practised in our homes.

MK: I was wondering, what made you write such a book?

Rujuta Diwekar: With globalisation, we have lost our perspective a little. We’ve become intrigued with the concept of calorie-intake. It’s the result of this fascination we have for the West.

I wrote this book because, as a nutritionist, I was unable to find a good Indian book on diet and nutrition. Whichever books I picked up, discussed nutrition in a predominantly Western way—that too mostly with respect to Western dishes and cuisines. Nobody was talking about samosas, gulab jamuns, puri bhaji, srikhand, idlis and dosas that we regularly eat.

Trying foreign cuisines is fine, but ultimately, food must appeal to our taste buds. I believe that when you continue to eat against your taste, there comes a point you give up everything and come back to home-cooked food. What’s sad is this new trend where home-cooked food [roti, sabzi, dal, chawal], is not considered healthy, when in fact, it is probably the healthiest.

Then there is this new fad of eating low-calorie foods. People drink a diet-cola thinking it is calorie-free and, therefore healthy, when in reality it is not so. Advertising makes us believe that it is free of calories. But, calorie-free does not mean it is not getting converted into fat in our body. Another example is that of ghee, which was a part of our Indian household for ages. All of a sudden now, there is no ghee. We have started replacing it with olive oil!

So, in writing this book, all I did was brought back the ancient Vedantic principles into limelight in a language that was easy to understand.

MK: Can you give us an example of how this approach has helped someone?

Rujuta Diwekar: I am working with a 76-year-old man in Kerala who was put on a restricted diet because he had some disorder. Going from one dietician to another, he was eventually made to give up everything that he traditionally grew up eating. So whether it was ghee, bananas, rice or even coconut—everything was taken out from his diet. He was only eating low-fat biscuits, high-fibre chapattis, but nothing that he enjoyed or relished eating. Now, if the food you eat does not appeal to your senses, your digestive system does not secrete the right kind of enzymes essential to extract the goodness from the food. Ever since I put ghee, rice and coconut back into his diet, he is doing so much better—his lipid profiles have improved, his kidney too is functioning better. The recovery is because his system is now getting a feeling of being taken care of. Food is really the best way to take care of ourselves, of showing love to ourselves. The last time I met him, he said, “The voltage on my face is back, I’m actually glowing”. For a 76-year-old to say that is amazing. Food can indeed bring back your youth.

MK: Wow! That’s an inspiring account. But along with right eating, regular exercise too had a role to play…

Rujuta Diwekar: Of course! The human body has been designed for a lot of activity. So a villager who leads a simple life, whose only means of locomotion is walking and who lifts, carries, pushes and pulls, enjoys much better health than the city-dweller who even has his car’s door opened by a chauffeur—all he has to do is sit! Biomechanically, urbanites are leading the most unscientific life. Even if we think of just the body, it was never meant for sitting but for regular activity.

MK: I agree. Our lifestyle, especially in cities and towns, is deteriorating by the day. Where owning a car was once a luxury, today every household has two or even three cars. Sometimes it’s just a status symbol.

Rujuta Diwekar: Cars are a necessity. But viewing them to measure how well one has done in life is silly. How well you are doing has nothing to do with the number/size of the cars parked in your garage.

MK: In fact, how well you’re doing in life has got nothing to do with accumulation of wealth and status in life. It is about how happy you feel about yourself.

Rujuta Diwekar: Absolutely! And happiness has got nothing to do with age, mind—least of all, bodyweight! The idea that ‘I will really be happy if I just lose those two kilos’ is ridiculous. Once you want to be happy, you will be happy even if you are 20 kilos plus. You don’t have to lose any weight to be happy. Ironically, the only way your bodyweight will reach an optimum number is when you experience a sense of happiness, calm and peace within you. If you are not happy with yourself, your body is only going to swell.

MK: How do you deal with clients who come to you with this belief that they’ll be happy once they shed a few kilos or a few inches?

Rujuta Diwekar: I begin by making my new clients write down a three-day record—what time they wake up/sleep, what they do throughout the day, what they eat [what time, how much quantity]. Most of the times, at the end of three days, and even before the first consultation, clients themselves realise that they need to change their lifestyles.

When you come to my office, you won’t find a weighing scale. That’s because I do not measure progress by the amount of weight lost. My parameters for progress are answers to questions such as “Are you feeling more energetic than before?”, “Are you sleeping better?”, “Are you getting hunger signals?”, “Are you feeling like eating?” For me, these parameters matter. Consulting a dietician is not about losing a few kilos—it is about adopting a lifestyle change. It is only when you change how you think, what you eat and how you sleep, that you can bring about a real change.

MK: In other words, aim for “Complete Wellbeing”, not just for weight loss! Thank you for sharing such refreshing insights with our readers.

Rujuta Diwekar: Thank you for the opportunity, Manoj.

[Watch out for Rujuta’s second book titled, Women and the weight loss tamasha]

The post Rujuta Diwekar on weight loss: Eat more to lose more appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

She is among the few actresses who didn’t fade away after marriage and motherhood. In 1983, when she was pregnant for the first time, she happened to read Irving Wallace’s The Second Lady and decided to launch herself as a producer with Sharara, a desi adaptation of the novel. The film starred Hema in a double role with Raaj Kumar playing her husband.

Soon, Hema forayed into television with Nupoor, a tele-serial based on the life of a dancer, produced, written and directed by her. Next, she was ready to debut as a director with Dil Aashna Hai.

In 2003, she made a comeback with co-star Amitabh Bachchan in Baghban and continues to successfully combine different performing mediums.

Dance remains Hema’s first love and she has managed to lure the audience with varied ballets like Durga, Meera, Ramayana, Savitri and Radha Krishna.

In this exclusive interview, conducted at her bungalow in Juhu, Hema discusses the significance of dance in her life.

In Her Own Words…

Dance Is A Timeless Bond

I believe dance has enriched me. It makes me stand apart. As a leading lady, I can rule the roost for a decade, and if I’m fortunate, a little longer. But as a dancer, I can be on stage for a lifetime. In show business, there comes a phase when you have to cross over from being the heroine to character roles, but not in dance.

As a dancer, you can perform the same role and abhinay at 17 and also at 70, provided you are in good health and your limbs and muscles move. Unlike in films where you have to retire some day, dance is a timeless bond. When you are older and find it difficult to move as nimbly, you can launch an academy and teach dance… there are so many options. I want to do that but I’m in no hurry, for, I believe that things happen when they have to and when they do, it is the right time.

My Mother’s Penance

I sometimes feel that it is my mother’s bhakti (devotion) and tapasya (penance) that has brought me so far. Few people know this, but she was an accomplished painter and a singer. In her pregnancy itself, she had decided that if she had a daughter, she would groom her into an artiste.

I was named Hema Malini because she liked the sound of it and felt it was an appropriate name for a classical dancer. In those days my parents had a family friend, Vijay Raghavan, an ICS officer whose daughter, a very beautiful and talented Bharatanatyam dancer, was called Hema Malini. My mother was so impressed with her, that she named me after her.

I Started Learning Dance at 5

I started learning dance when I was only five years old. When they first tied the bells around my tiny ankles and demonstrated the adavus and the mudras, it hurt terribly but I wasn’t allowed to take them off. “You will get used to them,” my mother said firmly and I did. Within a week, I was wearing the heavy anklets, and bending and twirling, without complaints.

I began giving public performances at prestigious gatherings at a tender age. Since we were based in Delhi, opportunities to perform before ministers came often. I remember recitals clearly.

Before going on stage, my mother’s standard line to me used to be, “Concentrate, don’t get nervous, and don’t make mistakes.” She’d make me bow before the idol of Lord Nataraja and say my prayers. Something always stirred in the pit of my stomach just before the curtains went up. Then slowly, as the music started, it would all begin to feel familiar again.

Dance As Punishment

Once, I was dancing at a sabha where veteran actress Vyjayanthimala was present. She looked very beautiful and graceful. After the show, she shook hands with me and was very encouraging. That was a special moment for me, more so, for my mother. Mother had a knack of making me perfect my dance. Whenever I was up to mischief, whenever I disobeyed her or made her angry, dance was imposed on me as a punishment. I was pushed into my room and ordered to practice Allarippu, Jatiswaram and Shabdam until she asked me to stop. This happened periodically. As a result, I could perform all the dances flawlessly even with my eyes shut.

As I grew older, I insisted on doing my rehearsals in my room. It was a device to cheat mother—once the door was locked, I’d stand before the mirror and loudly sing the song without actually doing the steps. Still young, the enormity of my art hadn’t dawned on me… the realization came much later. As I said, there is a time and place for everything in life.

Stage v/s Screen

I have accomplished all I have as a dancer because I began young and pursued it against all odds. Initially, there was resentment from the film fraternity. The producers said performing on stage will decline my stardom but my mother was adamant. She said I was first a dancer and cannot give up dance for the sake of films. They relented grudgingly. It was not easy balancing time and dates for films and shows but we managed somehow. On stage my stardom was both, an advantage and also a disadvantage. I invariably got a full house but the film-going audience expected popular dance from me for which I was not willing to perform. It was a tough call. Ultimately, my father resolved the conflict.

“You will have to find a way in between the two art forms,” he advised. “That’s the only way we can retain audience from both the worlds.” It made sense to me and, together, we worked out a new profile for me. It was my father’s idea that I perform ballets inspired from mythology—he set meetings with writers and music composers to script Ramayana, Durga, Meera and several others. Meera was my father’s favorite ballet, while my favorite was Durga; it’s still my favorite. Ever since I began performing Durga, I’ve started fasting on Fridays. Not because that is the day of the Goddess but because I want to. Durga is traditionally associated with the color red, but I deliberately wear blue and the audience has accepted this.

It is all about faith and when you are convinced, the audience submits to it as well.

Also read » Terence Lewis: “Body movements don’t lie”

Films Can Never Match the Fulfillment of a Stage Show

The best part about dance is that it helps you as a yoga exercise. It calms your nerves and improves your blood circulation. But dance is part of show business too and the more successful we become, the more the audience expects from us. In our pursuit to not let them down, we aspire for excellence. In films, they judge you from film to film. On stage, they watch you every minute. The fulfillment I feel after a three-hour show on stage is something a film can never match. In films you work in fragmented frames, you switch on and off from your character. On stage you transform into the character. That’s why it’s important to portray inspiring characters.

My father wanted me to play courageous leaders and that is also the reason perhaps why gurus ask you to pray and turn vegetarian because spirituality plays an important role in artistic expression.

This was first published in the September 2010 issue of Complete Wellbeing.

The post Hema Malini: Why Dance is My Lifetime Passion Beyond Bollywood Stardom appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

As children, we all dream of being racers or pilots. What made you seriously take up racing as a career?

Narain Karthikeyan: My father is an accomplished rally driver, so I was brought up surrounded by motorsport. However, my interest was always in circuit racing, not in rallying. So when I expressed my interest to him, he insisted that if I was going to be serious about racing as a career, I should travel to Europe and test my skills there, against the best in the world.

So he arranged for me to visit the La Filliere Academy in France when I was just 14 years old. That was where my career path was moulded. With his practical and logical approach, my father played a pivotal role in guiding me during my initial years, and he still continues to do so.

What helps you to be consistent in your performance?

Narain Karthikeyan: Being able to do good lap-times repeatedly requires a combination of physical and mental fitness. Having a stable personal life also plays an important role in maintaining a balanced approach, and this is very important in order to be consistent. I’m very lucky to have a wonderful family that supports me 100 per cent. My wife is by my side at many of my races; she gives me a lot of strength and support.

And what do you do for your physical fitness?

Narain Karthikeyan: I spend a lot of time in the gym. After doing extensive research, my personal trainer Ramji Srinivasan has designed my fitness protocols to exactly suit the requirements of my sport. He has been an asset to me. He even has some machines designed exclusively for racing drivers.

For instance, there is a neck training machine, which helps us strengthen our neck muscles. Stronger neck muscles help us withstand the tremendous lateral and longitudinal g-forces, which our necks are subjected to during racing.

Like the strong neck muscles, are there any other particular aspects of fitness that are more important in racing?

Narain Karthikeyan: Racing drivers need upper body strength to be able to turn the steering wheel, as most racing cars do not have power-assisted steering. We need strong leg muscles to be able to work the brakes effectively.

For example, my Superleague Formula car with carbon brakes needs me to apply a pedal pressure of over 100kg just to make the car stop. Try doing a left-leg-only leg-press with a 100kg weight once every five seconds for one hour, and you’ll know what I mean.

Probably more important for a racing driver, though, are stamina and endurance. I spend most of my time in the gym doing cardio training. Since our heart rate in the car can peak at 180bpm, we must concentrate most of our fitness training in this area. You’ll notice that most racing drivers have a physical body structure more akin to a marathon runner than a 100m sprinter.

Were you always so serious about fitness?

Narain Karthikeyan: In my teens, I did not have a meticulous training routine, unlike now—it’s easier to have a more casual approach to fitness when you’re that age, you know. As long as I was winning races, I never felt that I should train so seriously. That changed after I started racing in British Formula 3. And the dedication has grown exponentially over the last 10 years… now I’m probably fitter than I’ve ever been in my career.

Let’s change tracks now. what do you do just before a race?

Narain Karthikeyan: When the race is about to start, I do some stretching and breathing exercises. Other than that, I just relax and enjoy.

And when you’re get into your car or gripping the steering wheel, do you say something to yourself. what goes on in your mind?

Narain Karthikeyan: I don’t really say anything to myself. I must admit though, that even after so many years of racing, I still feel a surge of excitement as the adrenaline starts surging for the race. When I was younger, I used to have a lot of nervous energy, especially just before the race started, but now I have learned to convert this negative energy into excitement at getting on with the job.

How do you do that?

I have a very different personality in and out of the race car. When I’m in the car, I’m in ‘race-mode’. I focus totally and entirely on the job at hand. I use visualisation techniques to help me get in the correct frame of mind for the race ahead, and I don’t allow any other thoughts to distract me from my goal of winning.

Do you get distracted by negative emotions?

The only time I have a low emotional state is when I am not doing well in a race. But at the end of the day, racing is a profession, and you must learn to have a professional approach and not allow negative emotions to compromise your performance. It’s like in any other job; you must never take your home to your office. Having said that, I’m fortunate to have a stable family life, and this makes doing my job so much easier.

But a lot of your performance also depends on the machine, which is not fool-proof…

That’s precisely why it’s important to have a good technical team. The technician’s quality of work and attention to detail is crucial. A modern racing car is made up of thousands of individual components. Even if one of those components is faulty or has been fitted incorrectly, you won’t win the race. So the acceptable margin of error is zero. However, things do happen, which cannot be traced down to human or component errors. It’s part of racing, and as you get more experienced, you learn to deal with it. Also, you can never prepare for such instances in advance; you just have to learn to always look forward, and to learn lessons from your past experiences to prevent future mishaps.

Clearly, there are many factors that affect your performance. Is lack of sleep one of them?

I’m sure that it would have a huge impact on my performance. That’s why I make it a point to get plenty of sleep during a race weekend—I sleep for at least 8-9 hours every night, more if possible. It’s a vital factor in being able to re-charge my batteries.

But how do you manage to go without sleep in a 24-hour racing event?

In 24-hour races, typically, each car is shared by at least three drivers. So while one is driving, the other two can rest and get prepared for their next stint in the car.

Short naps are important in allowing the body to recuperate from the physical and mental stress of racing. The difficult part is actually sleeping at a track with the noise of racing cars all around. That’s where mental discipline comes in. Learning to shut off is as important as learning to switch on once you’re in the race car.

It’s difficult not to notice that despite being the fastest Indian in the world, you have no airs…

I spend as much time as possible at home with family and friends… I feel this is the best way to keep oneself grounded. Although my sport requires me to be away from home for long periods of time, I try and get home as often as I can, even if it’s just for a couple of days.

Your message for the readers of Complete Wellbeing…

Live your dream, but remember: dreams only become reality through hard work.

This was first published in the August 2010 issue of Complete Wellbeing.

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Priyanka Chopra: I don’t really think that I am a mystery—what you see is what you get. And now, thanks to social networking platforms like Twitter, Facebook and the weekly column I write for a daily, my life is pretty much an open book. The only thing I don’t discuss is my private life. There are some things that I need to keep for myself. But, I am a very emotional person. And that, I think, comes from being a Cancerian [smiles].

Does that mean you are aware of the role emotions play in one’s health and fitness and vice versa?

Priyanka Chopra: Yes, most definitely! It’s all in the mind. You will never be able to achieve any of your fitness or health goals if you are not prepared for it mentally. Similarly, your mood—which is driven by your emotions—will decide whether you do something or not. Once you have control over these, it’s half the battle won.

Talking of fitness, do you work out a lot to keep in shape?

Priyanka Chopra: I have been blessed with a great metabolism. But I don’t use that as an excuse to not work out. At the same time, honestly, I don’t like working out so much.. The whole concept of being locked in a gym is really not my cup of tea.

I do understand and appreciate the value of being fit. So I try to mix things up. do different things with my workouts that are interesting and fun. Thankfully, I have a good trainer, who helps me do that.

Do you also diet or just eat what you like, when you like?

Priyanka Chopra: I don’t believe in diets. I am a complete foodie and love to eat all kinds of foods. However, I believe in moderation—you can eat everything you want but in the right quantity, from time to time.

What I do is try and eat healthy most of the time but when I feel the urge, I indulge in whatever my heart desires. In a sense, it’s getting the best of both worlds.

You’ve tasted both success and failures in your career. Tell us about some particular failure that affected you significantly.

Priyanka Chopra: Success and failures go hand in hand and at some point in your life, you will taste failure. The trick is not to let failure beat you. You have to pick yourself up and carry on. As an actor, I have faced failure every time my film has failed at the box office. It breaks my heart because of all the hard work and love I invest in my films. But, I can’t let a failure stop me.

I love what I do and so I pick myself up and move on to the next film and invest the same amount of love and hard work and hope that it will click with the audience. I will never let failure stop me. I will never give up on the chance to taste success.

Do you also believe in destiny?

Priyanka Chopra: Both go hand in hand. Destiny gives you the opportunity. it opens the doors. Hard work helps you make the most of that opportunity. Hard work is the wings to your dreams. the harder you flap them, the higher you will go. There is no substitute for hard work, no matter who you are or what you do.

But a lot of noise is made about your ‘small-town’ roots…

I don’t think it matters at all. When it comes to putting in your best or succeeding, what really matters is what you want and how hard you are willing to work to make it happen.

Is it also important to become better at what you do?

Honestly, to each his own. The hunger to learn and to better what I do every time is important to me as an individual. It may not be the same for other people.

I like to be the best in whatever I do… I compete with myself all the time. It is what drives me. Everyone needs to find the one or two things that drive them… whatever they may be.

So is it happiness or fulfillment that drives you?

Both… with happiness comes fulfillment and contentment. Simple!

What has been your happiest moment so far?

I don’t have a particular ‘happiest moment’. I’ve had the fortune to have many such moments in my life. The most recent moment was when I received the National Award for Fashion and the big family reunion we had in Delhi immediately after I received the award.

You have always attributed your success to your family…

My family is my strength and my backbone. My parents gave me the strength to pursue my dreams and have stood by me and behind me 100 per cent of the time. They are my biggest strength and also my biggest weakness. I can’t imagine my life without them.

How was it growing up in an army background?

I am very proud to have been reared in a family with an army background. Growing up as the child of two army doctors has taught me a lot.

Such as…

One of the most critical lessons I have learnt is discipline, which was instilled in me from a very young age. Punctuality, the right etiquette, respect for people and elders are also some of the values that have been imbibed in me. I think, overall, it has helped me to develop a well-rounded personality.

Your advice to Complete Wellbeing readers to do well in life?

To do well in life, you need to love what you do and do the things that you want to do. Life is short. Don’t put off things because it will lead to regret later. I have learnt from my own personal experience that if you put your mind to something and give it all you got… nothing is impossible.

This was first published in the July 2010 issue of Complete Wellbeing.

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