“Better than money, praise and personal gestures motivate your workers,” says The Wall Street Journal, “Things that don’t cost  a lot of money are ironically the most effective.” If you can add a bit of levity to the mix all the better. Co-workers who have fun together, share a laugh, guffaw or chuckle are the same co-workers who will go the extra mile, above and beyond what is expected of them and they’ll do it happily. Why? Because they feel appreciated.

If you pulled into a parking lot of your workplace and found a rock band playing, people swaying to the music and hot dogs and hamburgers grilling for lunch, you would think you were at a party. Nope. You would be at CX-Tec, in Syracuse, New York. Once you walk into the building, a three story dinosaur in the foyer will greet you, instantly telling you, ‘this is a place that encourages fun’. As you continue into the building you find that each employee decorates their cubicle any way they wish. Daily contests give employees $5.00 gasoline cards and gift cards to local cafe’s. Holidays and special events are celebrated with gusto in this lighthearted energetic company. The atmosphere is joyous. Who wouldn’t want to work there?

Do silly things. Be wild. Treat your employees like your friends. If none of this sounds familiar to you, maybe you need to suggest a little fun to your boss and see what happens. The workplace should have an atmosphere where people just can’t wait to get to work in the morning and hate to leave when the day is done.  It should be a place where creativity and excitement are rampant. You should hear laughter in the hallways and see miles of smiles in the isles. Create a workplace culture where laughter and silliness encourages productivity, loyalty and longevity.

Here are ideas from some of the most successful companies in the world

• Organise laughter yoga classes during lunch hours. You could also organize these before or after important monthly or quarterly review meetings when the stress levels seem to sky rocket. Attendance should be mandatory.
• Thank you Thursday! Last Thursday of each month have pizza and cake in the break to celebrate any positive occurrence that month
• Hang quirky and humorous posters at the water cooler, printer and outside the restrooms
• Designate a space on company property for an employee veggie garden.
• Encourage employees to play games at lunch and break time. They could play ping pong, volley ball, Nerf basket ball or you could also have some toys like rubik’s cube, slinky or a hula hoop. Playing with these toys at work has also shown to increase creativity and ideation.
• Deliver candy with your office memo
• Have a comedy break room with DVD’s of stand up comics or funny TV shows. You could also organize a movie screening where you play a funny or motivational movie once a month
• Give a bunch of balloons each week to the person with the highest sales
• Monthly employee nights at comedy clubs, restaurants or theaters
• Give gift cards of local cafes and eateries for best weekly performers
• Have a humour board where employees can post jokes or funny pictures. The one contributing the most per week wins a prize.

People want to feel appreciated and to know that they matter. Perks like these show your employees that they matter. It makes them feel that their time at work is valued. But remember, employees will only lighten up as much as they feel they are allowed to at their workplace. So this has to be driven from the top and managers have to set an example by walking the talk. You’ve got nothing to lose and research has found that happier people are just more productive.

The post Levity and laughter: the new office tools appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

He was a sweet, happy, joy-filled baby.  His little fingers curled around mine like it was the very definition of love. He laughed a lot and smiled constantly. As he grew, we discovered that he was a very funny little boy. He was always ready to take centre stage and make us laugh. He fell into the “family comedian role” with the greatest of ease.

His favourite colour

He became a very decisive little person. When given a choice, he always chose the pink coloured toy or cup or paper or crayon. I purposely would offer him blue or green or yellow but this child was determined to have pink. And so it was that my grandson’s favourite colour was pink. It bothered me. When he came of age to go to school, he chose a pink book bag and insisted on pink T-shirts and pink sneakers. My daughter and son-in-law are very progressive parents and their son’s choices were respected.

My 1950’s Christian upbringing had me thinking they should have insisted he wear, carry, choose something more appropriate. I worked very hard to be understanding but in my heart I believed this was simply a phase he was going through and all this permissiveness was only encouraging him. Silently, I disagreed with this type of parenting. Instead I prayed for him every single day. I never missed. I prayed that this child be filled with strength and courage and wisdom. Each day he became more interested in “girly” toys and clothing. All of his little friends were girls and I felt my prayers were being unanswered. He got an American Girl Doll for Christmas last year and he has loved her ever since. He takes her to his friend’s houses and they play endlessly. However, each time I see him walk out of the door with the doll and doll clothes and his pink doll carrier, all I feel is sadness.

A special tea party

On the day of his seventh birthday, he wished to host a tea party. A very pink tea party with all of his little giggly girlfriends.  The house was overflowing with the colour pink and to an outsider it would look like an absolutely perfect birthday party for a sweet little seven-year-old girl. It is not at all the path I would have wanted for my grandson.

In the real world, I do respect people’s choices. While I may not understand or agree, I do my best not to judge others. However, this is my grandson and I want the very best for him. It was a very confusing and emotionally charged day for me and I was doing my best.

I stood in tears in the shower that day, thinking about all the pink balloons that filled the living room, all the little girls in frilly dresses who would be his guests and of the beautiful pink tea party that would begin in just a few short hours. I prayed to God for guidance, like I had done for 64 years of my life.

Help me Lord. Help me to feel the way you want me to feel in this situation. I am confused and I do not know how you want me to be in this instance.

And in an instant I heard these words inside my head.

“I made him and I love him exactly as he is.” I had my answer.

And so, on my beautiful grandson’s seventh birthday, it seems it is his grandmother who had grown the most.

In a very pink shirt and a heart full of joy, little Jack taught his grandmother a valued lesson about love.

The post My grandson’s pink birthday party appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Holidays have become a time when we are all struggling to get all of our gifts purchased, wrapped and sent. Most times we are pressed for time and our choices are last minute without a lot of thought put into it. I’ve been guilty of that myself. However, this past holiday season, I received the finest, most thoughtful Christmas present of my life—from my grandson Jack.

Shopping time

In early September, I happened to be shopping with my little seven-year-old grandson. Like every year, I took him shopping and encouraged him to choose some gifts to give his grandfather, his brothers and parents for Christmas.

As we wandered through the store, we talked about certain items we liked. “Oh that’s nice,” I said as we passed some wonderfully thick bath towels. Jack looked up at me and smiled. In the next aisle, I saw a lovely crystal trinket and commented on it. Jack looked up again and said, “Hey Nonni, did you know that every time you like something, it has the word JOY on it?” I hadn’t noticed that, but when he mentioned it, I said, “Well, I guess I really like the word joy. It means a lot to me.” Then I joked with him, “Now remember, if mommy asks you what to get me for my birthday or for Christmas this year, you can tell her anything that says JOY on it would be a very good choice.” He smiled back and that was the end of that conversation.

After we finished choosing gifts for everyone, we went home. He helped me wrap the gifts we had purchased and then ran off to play with his friends. That was in early September. I left for my trip to sunny Florida shortly after that.

The joy box arrives

In December, I received a generous box of gifts from my daughter and her family. Inside, there was a gift from little Jack. I had to chuckle at his rumpled paper and pencilled scribbles: “To Nonni. Merry Christmas, Love and kisses from Jack.”

I couldn’t wait to see what he had hidden in there for me. I ripped the paper off to find that this little seven year old had made me a colourful wooden box, with the word JOY haphazardly glued to the top of it.

I cannot tell you how moved I was that this tiny child remembered the short conversation we had back in early September. The fact that he went through the trouble to make me a gift that he knew I would absolutely love brought me to tears. I held in my hands the little hand-made box with smudges of brightly coloured red, blue and green paint, a gift with so much significance, making it more precious to me than gold. This perfect gift will always remind me of the thoughtfulness and kindness of this little child and how blessed I am to have him in my life.

A lovely gifting lesson

Interestingly enough I had recently been to the theatre to see the movie War Room about the power of prayer. In that movie, one of the characters had a box in which that she kept her written prayers. She dated the prayers and kept track of all the ones that were answered. One of my goals this year was to find a beautiful box to put my prayers in. I began to look for just the perfect box, one with some sort of meaning, something I would keep forever. This was indeed what I was looking for. And the very first prayer that went into this prayer box was one of gratitude.

What a lovely lesson little Jack taught me with his thoughtfulness: we must pay attention when our loved ones talk to us so that when the time comes, we will know what would be the perfect gift for them!

The post What my grandson taught me about the lost art of gifting appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Do you get a feeling of manic glee, happiness and joy during the spending process? Is it followed by depression, remorse, guilt and shame in the face of the results of your spending? Do you know the courier delivery guy by his first name? Have you ever taken Cyber Monday off from work so you can shop all day online? Is your credit card simply a legal device you use to charge you 20 per cent interest on money you won’t earn until next month, so you can buy things you don’t need today? Here are signs you may be addicted to on-line shopping:

• you have a secret postal box so you can hide purchases from your loved ones
• you have more than one blue recycling bin overflowing with cardboard boxes
• you are preoccupied with buying because it makes you feel special
• you have received packages that you totally forgot you ordered
• your credit cards are maxed out from online shopping
• you’ve accidentally bought the same item twice or more
• you secretly online shop at work, at home and anytime you have a minute free
• you have 20 different mobile apps that help you spend more money
• you hyperventilate when you read  65% off, 75% off, up to 85% off
• your shopping has caused a problem with a relationship at home or at work
• your shopping has caused you to worry about debt
• you have canceled meetings and family events so that you can shop online
• you lie about it to friends and family

It’s an addiction, no less

My parents took me shopping twice a year. At Easter we got a brand new outfit head to toe and in September we went to the nearest Sears store and got three outfits for school. Being addicted to online shopping or having a Compulsive Buying Disorder (CBD) was something we would never have understood was even possible. CBD or Oniomania comes from the Greek words; for sale and mania or insanity. It is described as having an obsession with shopping that causes negative consequences. Interesting, because the way to decide if you’re addicted to alcohol is to ask yourself if drinking causes negative consequences in your life.

The high of the buying process is typically followed by disappointment and guilt which creates a need for more shopping so that you can feel that high again. Debt grows and shopping becomes a well kept secret because you’re ashamed of what you’re doing. This affects marriages, relationships, careers and life spirals out of control. The stress and depression it brings can lead to poor health and even suicide. The problem is that as with any addiction, you think you can ‘use’ it successfully this time. You are in complete denial that you even have a problem and that, in itself, is the first sign that you need help. If you say, “Don’t worry, I won’t get addicted”, you already are addicted. You’re like a dog chasing a ball into oncoming traffic, you just can’t help yourself.

If you or someone you know is a compulsive shopper, the struggle is real. It is a severe and growing problem. Psychiatrist Michel Lejoyeux suggests that the best possible treatment is cognitive behavioral therapy. People with online shopping addiction should be “evaluated for psychiatric co-morbidities, especially with depression, so that appropriate pharmacological treatment can be instituted.” I have read about people who have taken anti-depressant drugs to help the situation as well.

The way out

With any addiction the first step to wellness is acknowledging that you have a problem.  Here are the five steps suggested to overcome addiction to online shopping:

1. Recognise that you are powerless over this addiction and need help. This is not a habit you can change with self-control.
2. Find a therapist or a support group where you can discuss your issues without judgement. The emphasis is on fellowship.
3. Be honest with yourself.
4. Be honest with your family and your bosses at work.
5. Forgive yourself for any problems you have caused due to your shopping addiction and concentrate on getting better

“I hate online shopping!”, says comedian Nick Marra, “Sometimes my wife makes me sit in the hall holding her purse when she shops online. I used to give my wife $100 to go shopping so I could have peace at home and watch football. I still do but now she spends the $100 bucks, she just doesn’t leave the house.”

If you have a compulsive, destructive and chronic nature of online shopping, please ask for help. www.shopaholicsanonymous.org or https://shopping-addiction.supportgroups.com

The post Simple retail therapy or serious mental health issue? appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

I travelled a bit this week and had a few hours in Chicago O’Hare where I did some people watching. A woman with baby blue hair sat slumped in the seating area waiting for her plane. I thought, does she think that hair colour is attractive? She looked like a Smurf. I could understand this choice if she were a teen because teens make tons of bad decisions, but this woman was at least 60 years old. I wanted to tell her, if she waited a few years, her hair would turn blue on its own, but of course I didn’t. I was too busy astounded by a handsome young man walking toward me.

He was a goodlooking fellow, neat, clean—he looked smart in a green pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Then as he passed by. I got a look at his backside. His legs and arms were completely tattooed all the way down.  I don’t even know what the tattoo was supposed to be. It just looked like someone had taken a magic marker and scribbled all up and down the back of his limbs while he slept face down on the couch. Walking toward me his appearance said, I’m a great guy, I love my grandmother, and I play basketball with the guys on Saturday afternoon.  However, walking away it said, hold on to your purse lady, I’m a bad ass and you’re my target.

The hole truth

The look that absolutely makes me question the number of brain cells in some people is the gigantic hole they have in their earlobes. What is that? Is that where they hang a plant? Is it a place where they hook their keys at night? Does their mom run a scarf through there in case it gets cold later in the day? I don’t know, I really don’t!

Even more concerning are the people who put that type of hole in their chins just below the lip line. You can see the bottoms of their teeth and their gums. What would ever possess anyone to do that to their face? I’m just curious. How do you drink water from a bottle with that sort of thing on your chin?

The look that absolutely makes me question the number of brain cells in some people is the gigantic hole they have in their earlobes

Piercing looks

Recently I was at a business meeting and a young woman who worked for a bank stood up to tell us about what the bank offered. Honestly, I couldn’t look at her because she had a safety pin hooked through the tip of her nose. Her co-worker was a thirty-something man who had that business-upfront-and-party-in-the-back hairdo. I mean come on! Am I going to give you people my money?

A relatively nice looking woman was wearing a very revealing sundress the other day. It wouldn’t have been so bad, but she had a horribly hacked up boob job and the sundress hid nothing. It looked bad, but it was like a car wreck you couldn’t look away from. She weighed about 80 pounds and her boobs about 25 each. I kept expecting her to fall over.

So different and yet same

In a world where everyone is working so hard to look different, to have their own identity, to express themselves, they all look the same to me. Stupid.

As I sat disgusted with the way people have defaced their faces and mangled their bodies, a man about 5’9″ walked by. He was dressed in a chocolate brown suit and had a cream coloured shirt ironed to a crisp. His tie was a beautiful brown and blue paisley and was tied in a perfect windsor knot. His shoes were shined and his hair was cut with precision. I’m sure he smelled delicious. This is the man who really stood out. He was the one who was different. He got my full attention. If I were looking to hire anyone, he would have gotten the job. This man was dressed for success; the rest of them, I think, may have been carnival workers… not that there’s anything wrong with that.

To be honest, the people I saw may have very well been wonderful, kind, smart people. We are judged, sadly, by our appearance. First impressions actually do mean the difference between getting a job or not, between connecting with someone or not. We are human beings and we look at people and assume certain things about them based on what they look like and how they dress. I’m not saying that it’s right to do that, I’m just saying that is what happens.

In short, if you want me to shop at your shop, bank at your bank, support your cause or hire you to renovate my house, take the damn safety pin out of your nose.

The post Do you dress to kill [your chances]? appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

When your day isn’t going as planned, laughing is an opportunity to look at things from a new perspective. The power of humour, being joyful, is a choice we make. Take a break. I promise you’ll find something to smile about. This is what happened when I tried to relax…

With my office in my home, it’s very hard to ‘get away from it all’. There is always one more task that needs to be done. One day, in an attempt to take better care of myself, I decided to have a mini spa day and treat myself to a quiet, soothing facial. In my silk robe, I lit a scented candle, dimmed the lights, whipped up some egg whites and mixed them with honey. I lavished on the concoction. Ooooh! It felt so good. I placed my frozen silk eye bean bag on my eyes and stretched back on the recliner. My new goose down quilt covered my body like a warm embrace. I proceeded to have a relaxing morning… until the phone rang.

I jumped out of the chair and raced to get the phone. I tried to pull the eye bag off as I ran, but the honey mixture glued it to my face. Afraid to pull my skin off, I left it in place and just Helen-Kellered my way to the phone. All that came out was “mmmmmmm.” My mouth was honey-glued shut. I hung up and ran to the kitchen to run warm water over my face in an attempt to loosen the mixture. Running out of the office, I tripped over my briefcase and fell hard onto the carpet. My left cheek was now a bit rosier than my right one, but it matched the bruise on my arm so nicely. The warm, salty liquid of my tears helped to loosen the edges of my eye mask. The phone rang again. My priority now was to get this sticky mess off my face. Finally, free from my face-mask prison, I went to the phone to see who my mystery caller was. Will you believe? It was a cosmetic lady offering me a free facial. I just absolutely cracked up.

Stress can be fatal; humour is life-saving

Stress and worry may cause insomnia, types of paralysis, nervous stomach, ulcers, premature ageing, wrinkles, loss of concentration, heart disease, headaches, nervous breakdowns, high blood pressure, hair loss, and weakness of the immune system. Okay, not all of these are fatal, but it can’t be healthy to live like this. 60 per cent of doctor visits are due to stress related illness. Smile. We all have a choice to live our lives as we see fit. That’s where the answer lies—in the choices we make.

I once had part of a window on a plane fall into my lap just before lift off. Panicked, I called for an attendant. We were already taxiing down the runway. The attendants were prepared for takeoff. After several attempts to gain attention, I held the window over my head and yelled, “Hey, don’t go!” No one up front heard me. I quickly ran up the aisle, window in hand, yelling, “Hey! My window fell out!” Some passengers were laughing. Others were gasping. Two repairmen came aboard to fix the window. They said we could have flown safely without fixing it. I thought, “Hey, if the window falls out, what’s next? The wings?”

Several flights earlier, a man with a prosthetic leg was struggling to adjust it. I offered to help him, got on my knees and carefully adjusted the leg. He thanked me and asked if I were a nurse. I said, “No, I’m a comedian.” The rest of the passengers on the plane cracked up.

The attendant on the plane with the broken window recognised me and jokingly said, “You’re the gal who tried to rip that guy’s leg off on another flight!” He turned to the passengers and said, “Watch her, she’s trouble!”

Laughter is physically, physiologically and emotionally good for us. 16 major organs in your body are positively affected every time you laugh out loud. Can your mental outlook really influence your health? Laughter can’t replace exercise. However, researchers find that laughing for 10 minutes will burn 50 calories. You could lose five pounds a year, laughing. Norman Cousins, a pioneer in the study of laughter and health, used funny movies to help him recover from a degenerative auto-immune disease. He said, “Laughter is internal jogging.”

How much does the mind influence how the body functions? The question has prompted debate in recent years. Scientists realise that mental stress has a negative effect on the immune system, while a positive attitude and belly laughter benefits our health. It is the best antidote for stress, promotes good health, promotes teamwork, builds confidence, encourages problem-solving, prevents burn-out, reduces fear, stimulates creativity and helps us become more productive.

At 23 years, I was stricken with rheumatoid arthritis. Some days I hurt so much, I want to curl up in a ball and cry. Instead, I fight my pain with joy. I choose to find something to be happy about, and engage myself in something positive. When I get a flare-up, I reach for my stash of laughter-filled DVDs; Horrible Bosses, Bridesmaids and Airplane!.

A hearty chuckle stretches the muscles from the diaphragm all the way to the scalp and releases tension that causes fatigue, stress, and headaches, while giving a giant burst of energy. Laughing releases endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers and mood-lifters.

Pain is inevitable, the suffering part is optional. If you want to be happy, act happy. Bill Cosby said, “You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find the humour in anything, you can survive it.” The next time you have an ache or pain and are feeling blue, don’t whine. Find something joyful to do. Take a walk in the sunshine. Enjoy nature. Kiss your grandkids. Invite your funniest friend to lunch. Don’t just sit there—do something silly.

Look at your life and write a short essay about what happens to you in the course of a day. Take a humorous look at things, it helps put life in perspective and allows you to move forward, healthier.

I’m just not funny, you say?

Some people think you either have a sense of humour or you don’t, that you cannot teach someone to be funny. My intent isn’t to turn you into a stand-up comic. However, it is possible to awaken your funny bone. You don’t teach people to be funny; you merely give them permission.

In A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, Scrooge was a miserable, hardhearted, old sort with no sense of humour. As the tale unfolds, his attitude changes. The spirits of Christmas Past, Present, and Future awaken the compassionate, charitable, happy heart that was there underneath all that selfishness and misery. Scrooge was able to find happiness only when he wanted it, by realising its value.

You don’t teach people to be funny; you merely give them permission

The same thing can occur with your sense of humour. If you really want to have more humour in your life, you can. We all have some element of pain or unmanageable times to go through in our lives. My mission is to show the value of humour. Think of it as a gradual awakening of the joys of laughter and an introduction to this wonderful vehicle that will help you through the difficult times and simply make the good times more meaningful.

I went to a building supply to buy a shed. Now shoes I know about, but sheds I know nothing. I was asking questions about how it goes together when I realised that men were piling up behind me with lumber and sheet rock. They were getting impatient with all my questions.

Three men were waiting to talk with the clerk who was finishing up my paperwork. They were shifting their weight from one foot to the other, taking deep breaths—all signs of being impatient, frustrated by the many questions I was asking. They were anxious to get their purchases and get on to work. Everyone was stressed.

Next to the counter was a coffee pot. The man waiting next to me looked at the free coffee, then looked over at me and said in a sort of sexy way, “So… can I buy you a cup of coffee?” The men behind us laughed, I laughed, and the clerk laughed, and then he poured me a cup of coffee. It was just something silly he thought of and it totally relieved everyone’s stress. That is a perfect example of using your comic vision to turn an unpleasant moment into a pleasant one. Use your comic vision at work, in the car, with the kids, with the spouse, in the store or wherever you happen to be.

What if I don’t feel like laughing?

When we’re in a bad mood, the last thing we want to hear is ‘cheer up!’ It is great advice, but not always the appropriate thing to say in such a circumstance. Socrates went around giving people advice and they poisoned him. We can do something about the bad mood we’re in. Think of it as a cancer in your body. Left unattended, it spreads. If we don’t eliminate it, a bad mood can lead to depression and serious mental illness. Have an action plan.

Put together some steps to take whenever you feel sad, lonely, depressed, or just not yourself. Follow the plan. When I feel blue, I listen to a Bill Cosby CD and end up laughing. Sometimes taking a walk outside will do the trick. Did you ever go to the gym and exercise even though you really didn’t feel like it? You still got all the benefits of exercise, felt more energised, toned your muscles and burned calories. When you don’t feel like laughing, but laugh or smile anyway, you still get the benefits. Try it and see for yourself. When things are not the way you want them to be, people aren’t treating you the way you think they should, traffic isn’t flowing the way you’d like it to—force yourself to find the funny. Force that laugh and smile to come through. You’ll reap the benefits even if you don’t feel like laughing. I often go into my room, close the door and laugh hysterically for a good five minutes. It’s a great way to wake up if you’re sitting at the desk half asleep. It’s the greatest pick-me-up. You don’t have to have anything to laugh about. Think of it as exercise. It’s the same whether we’re at work, at home or in the grocery store. We can let our problems overtake us and allow depression to destroy us, or we can learn to cope by using a wonderful tool—our sense of humour.

Laugh. Laugh. Repeat.

Humour is a skill that requires daily repetition and practice. What’s the one thing we have control over? Our actions. The way in which we respond to a situation. We have the power of choice. We can either choose to use the skills or choose to find an excuse not to.

If you recognise what makes you laugh, how will that improve your humour skills? Easy. Open up your eyes, ears, nose, and all of your senses. Be ready to find the funny. Your sense of humour is simply your ability to see the absurdity in difficult situations. My most stressful situation is driving. I’m always on a mission; everyone else is on vacation. I get behind the guy who likes to slow down for the garage sale but never quite pulls over. To be careful that I don’t boil over when I’m stuck in a traffic jam, I keep my stress-buster in the glove compartment. While waiting for traffic to move, I put on my red clown nose and wait for the driver next to me to react. If I’m on the Garden State Parkway, it takes a while before anyone looks at me. When they do, some still don’t laugh, so I put on my Smile-on-a-Stick. That usually does the trick. It makes me laugh. It passes time without getting me all worked up. I have accomplished something. I’ve made someone laugh who probably was as stressed out as I was. It works.

While waiting for traffic to move, I put on my red clown nose and wait for the driver next to me to react. I make someone laugh who probably was as stressed out as I was

You may think this is not what normal people do. You’re right. But who wants to be normal? Only dead fish swim with the stream! Shakespeare said, “Things are neither good nor bad but thinking makes it so.” If you think acting a bit wacky will help you through the day, it will. You can be different. You can be creative. You can get wacky. You can go bananas. It works. Your humour skills allow you to take yourself lightly while taking your work seriously. Put a little zip in your step. Spread some joy around the office. Giggle; smile for no apparent reason; be happy.

I’d rather spend my time with someone who can find the silly side of life. I was walking into a shopping mall with a friend from Nashville. We passed this kid with dreadlocks—long, thick, twisted hair. She looked at him and then said in her southern twang, “You know, I washed a rug one time, came out the dryer looking like that.” Some people can just see humour everywhere and make you laugh. That’s the kind of person you want to be around—someone that can make you laugh and put all your troubles on hold for a few minutes. I think it’s important to be flexible and to be able to see the funny side of life.

The secret in your kid’s head

Do you snap the minute something goes wrong? Are you the first to panic when you’re late? Do you worry about things before they happen? It’s time to look for some relief by spending time with children. They can amuse, tickle and thrill themselves with a shoelace, three margarine tubs and a broken yo-yo, and so can you. Our world is filled with situations ripe for our pure enjoyment. Children are masters at finding that joy everywhere.

Author Ashley Montagu says, “By learning to act more like a child, human beings can revolutionise their lives becoming for the first time, perhaps, the kind of creatures their heritage has prepared them to be—youthful all the days of their lives.”

Adults oftentimes feel that giggles and guffaws are sort of like Starbucks—nice to have, but a luxury that not most of us can afford. We have bills to pay, goals to achieve, people to please. Simple pleasures of knock-knock jokes, amusing pratfalls and adeptly censored one-liners are frivolous and unnecessary, so we think. My niece and her husband were on their way back to New York after a vacation at Disney. Her four children were securely buckled into their seats when the plane came into rough weather. As the plane jumped through the air, passengers held on for dear life. Panic, fear and shock were prevalent throughout the cabin. Immediately, the kids began to raise their hands up over their heads and shout in unison, ‘Weeeeeeeee, Weeeeeeee!’ The tiny tots giggled and continued to raise their arms over their heads each time the plane hit an air pocket. The children decided to make the most of the situation, while the adults chose to be frightened. When the passengers noticed the children’s reaction, they too began to laugh. The more people laughed, the less stress there was in the cabin.

The same thing was happening to both, the children and the adults on the plane. They were all being rocked about due to the choppy weather. The difference was: the kids decided to enjoy the ride. It matters not what your circumstances are, you have the power to enjoy life right now, in this moment. Make a choice to find the funny side of life. Try to think like a child. The next time you get together for a family dinner, sit at the children’s table. It’s more fun there. Maintain your youthful enthusiasm all the days of your life; lighten up, you’ll live longer.

Persist in your pursuit of humour

If you think you either have a sense of humour or you don’t, I offer this logic: What if you wanted to learn to paint but found you weren’t good at it and quit? That would be the end of it. You’d never learn to paint. However, if you enrolled in an art class, checked out some books at the library, studied technique, went to galleries, art museums, would that have a positive effect on the way you painted? You can learn to paint and enjoy it just as easily as you can learn to relax and add more fun to your life. You have to want to do it and take action. Even if you’re the orneriest old goat, there’s still hope for you as long as you want humour in your life and do what’s necessary to make it so.

When my daughter Aubry was five years old, she wanted to be a singer. She was a terrible singer. I called her One-Note Lucy. Aubry sang at the top of her lungs, the dog left the room, the paint on the wall peeled, and some of my plants died. My only hope was that her yearning to be a singer would fade. Unfortunately, it just got stronger. She pleaded for singing lessons. I offered her anything and everything else. She took tap, ballet, and jazz lessons for several years and quit. Bass lessons lasted three weeks. I enrolled her in a modelling class. After the first fashion show, she quit. I bought her a trumpet. It became a decoration in her room. I tried to interest her in anything but singing. The kid couldn’t hold a tune.

At 15, she befriended a young girl who happened to be the best singer at school. Aubry went with her friend to a voice lesson, sat on the couch, and listened intently. Her hunger to sing became stronger. This hunger, however, didn’t improve her ability. After quitting dance, guitar, modelling, and trumpet, I felt voice lessons would be throwing money away.

Determined, she found a way without me. She made a deal with the voice teacher. Aubry would tell her she had no talent and that would be the end of it. That was in 1987. Aubry never missed a voice lesson in 10 years. She now sings professionally. Her voice is like an angel’s. I cry when I hear her sing, partially because her voice is so beautiful, but mostly because I have such pride in this little girl who never gave up on her dream until it became a reality. She was focussed. She wanted it.

Becoming humorous is like becoming a great vocalist. You don’t wake up one morning and begin to laugh more

Becoming humorous is like becoming a great vocalist. You don’t wake up one morning and begin to laugh more. You have to take action. Be obsessive. Get fixed on the idea. Set a laugh-out-loud goal. ’Today, I’m going to laugh out loud three times before I go home.’ The next day, go for five times, then work your way up to 10 laughs a day. You’ve got to look for the funny. Keep a journal. Write down everything that makes you laugh. You’ll recognise your type of humour. There are many different types. Something that I find hysterical, you may not smile at, and vice versa. Identify your funny bone, then look for the kinds of things that make you laugh.

There’s FUN in DysFUNctional.

“Words with a ‘K’ sound in it are funny. ‘Cupcake’ is funny.
‘Tomato’ is not funny.”
— Neil Simon, The Sunshine Boys

If we can change our mood, we can change our future. Living in the past is like driving into the future looking in the rear view mirror. This is helpful advice, but how do we take control of the situation with humour? How can we turn a difficult task into an easy one? This next story illustrates how a man turned an otherwise annoying situation into a great, funny story.

A speeding motorist caught by a roadside camera tried to play a little joke when the police sent him a speeding ticket. The notice included a photograph of the car, the date, the speed, and demanded payment of a fine. The motorist sent back a picture of a cheque.

The police responded with a photograph of handcuffs. The motorist got the message and mailed the real cheque. The story appeared in countless papers, bringing laughter to its readers.

When you’re in the middle of an upsetting situation, take a moment to find something funny about it. Laugh at the negative situations that happen.

I’m a pretty relaxed, down-to-earth person when I am at home, but when at these big conventions, I’m dealing with highly sophisticated, well… I call them big shots. I try hard not to say something stupid and act like an idiot. But no matter how hard I try to be sophisticated and polished, my true self always emerges. A woman that I’d been working with suggested we go get massages after the conference. This fancy spa is so relaxing with fountains, soft music, and scented candles. It’s beautiful. She introduces me to the masseuse and we go into our separate rooms. I lay down on the table, and this gal is doing such a great job that I fell asleep.

She has to wake me to tell me to turn over. She lifts the sheet so that I could roll over, but I’m so disoriented because I just woke up that I roll away from, instead of towards her, and I fall off the table. She drops the sheet and grabs one of my feet and one of my arms to keep me from hitting the floor. She is quick. So here I am, hanging off the table, naked as a jaybird. How do you recover from that kind of humiliation? Laugh. She says, “Are you alright?” I say, “Oh, honey, this happens to me all the time. My life is a never-ending sitcom. Let’s just get back on the table and finish this up.” We get in the car to head back to the hotel and the woman that I was working with, after hearing all the commotion asks me, “What was that racket in there?” And I say, “Oh, that. That was my self-esteem falling off the table.”

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