Physical aspects

Ensure a disciplined daily routine

“Discipline in daily routine will make life smoother and less complicated for your child,” says Reena Saxena, a Delhi-based counsellor. Picture a child who has to get up early in the morning for school. She gets home tired and takes a siesta. Then she wakes up groggy knowing quite well that she is left with just enough time to study and finish her daily chores. The thought that she cannot play with her friends leaves her upset and frustrated at having wasted a precious day.

Frustration breeds depression and can never encourage a child to look at the brighter side of life.

With the fast life that kids face these days, a proper schedule has to be worked out for them, which includes all their activities and still leaves time for themselves.

Make time for play

Physical activities are important for your child’s muscle development and also for her brain. “The expansion of the brain leads to all-round development of your child,” says Saxena. For instance, when your child gets involved in a game, she is forced to take quick decisions, use her common sense and work together with a team. Her focus also improves. All this, in addition to a physically active lifestyle, gives her a fair surge of endorphins and serotonins which are happiness-boosters.

An enhancement in self-confidence and self-esteem makes your child a positive person.

Give them responsibility

“Right from the beginning, allow your child to do small things that help her experience her capabilities,” says Saxena. Even the smallest achievements are important for her self-esteem. Things like buttoning the shirt may be difficult for your child at age four, but given a little extra time and patience, she may be able to do it to near perfection.

Giving your child credit for these accomplishments makes her happy and more optimistic. If your child is old enough, give her the responsibility to keep her bed clean, polish her shoes and keep her school uniform ready for the next day. Praise her for efforts when you see consistency in these tasks.

Identify what your child is good at and let her do that more often. If you find that she draws well, put her in a drawing and painting class, display her work around the house, search the newspaper for any drawing competition in your city and encourage her to participate. When she is successful, her burgeoning confidence will lead her to think optimistically.

Psychological aspects

Show the sunny side

Teach your child to expect positive outcomes. If you show her the negative side of everything, this is what she will learn. If the teacher does not select her for the school play, don’t say that the teacher is biased. Explain to her why the other child was preferred. Also, tell her that this is not the end of the world and that she would get a chance to participate in something else soon.

“If your child trains herself for positive self-talk and can replace negative thoughts with positive ones, she is sure to become a positive human being,” says Sheena Misra Ghosh, consultant psychologist, AMRI Hospitals, Kolkata.

Assist in handling fear

Your child may have certain fears. A six- or seven-year-old may be afraid of the dark, a 10-year old may be scared of getting a scolding from the teacher, a 12-year-old may not want to lose a friend, while your teenager may be scared of examinations.

“A lot of these fears are created by parents themselves,” says Ghosh. We tell our children that a cockroach can bite and an injection can hurt to scare them. This should never be done.

“To help your child get over her fears, take a step-by-step approach to de-sensitise her by showing her that what she is afraid of may not be so scary after all,” adds Ghosh. “But never repudiate her fears and push her into believing that she is wrong to be frightened,” asserts Ghosh. A child who can handle her fears is definitely more confident and optimistic about life.

Praise genuinely and offer constructive criticism

Praising your child when she is successful at a task encourages her to do well in the future as well.

“At the same time, the preamble to a negative remark should always be built with a positive comment on her work,” notes Ghosh.

Saying, “Since you hemmed your kerchief so well the other day, I am sure that with a little practice you will learn to stitch a button properly” is better than saying, “You are hopeless when it comes to stitching a button.” Constructive criticism can be a big confidence booster.

Help deal with failure

“If your child can understand that her failures are only stepping-stones to success, the disappointment associated with them will be short-lived,” says Saxena. “To instil this in her, you should remember not take your child’s failures as personal setbacks,” she adds. So, whenever your child errs or doesn’t do well, you must avoid getting into a blame-session with her [or yourself for that matter]. Show her ways of improvement instead and remind her of areas where she did well despite having made mistakes.

Encourage independent thinking

Give your child a chance to take independent decisions. It is harmless to let a six-year-old decide what she wants to wear for a party or a let a 10-year-old choose the brand of her bicycle for herself.

“As long as the decision doesn’t pose a health hazard or is damaging in some other way, it will only help her gain confidence by improving her decision making skills,” says Saxena. And this does lead to more success and optimism.

Spiritual aspects

Faith in God

When your child faces hardships, having faith helps her know that there is someone above who will take care of her and untangle the mess. Prayer has the power to keep one going during tough times. The habit of looking up to someone above and seeking His guidance in times of distress has to be formed right from the beginning.

Finally, it makes a lot of difference to your child how you look at life. A parent who is pessimistic and always expects the worst to happen cannot expect the child to be optimistic.

So, while you are still thinking about how you can use the above ideas with your child, why not incorporate some in your life as well?

The post How to raise an optimist appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Many of you may not be aware, but these well-meaning drugs are not without side-effects and can play havoc with your system if taken without professional advice. We have for you the most commonly abused over-the-counter medicines and their potential side-effects.

Pain killers

What they are

Pain killers are drugs used to relieve pain. Most of them belong to a class of drugs called Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs [NSAIDS], which control inflammation, fever and mild pain.”Taking them without consultation, buying them over and over again using the same prescription, taking a double dose for quicker relief or using the left-over medicines later for similar symptoms can put people in trouble,” says Dr Jeetendra Jain, a Mumbai-based pain physician.

Potential side-effects

• Can cause ulcers and bleeding in the stomach.
• Can cause acidity, nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea, constipation, dizziness, rashes, and headaches.
• Boost blood pressure and can counteract the effect of some blood pressure medicines. May also cause cardiac failure.
• Cause kidney problems.

An alternative

“Use a hot or cold compress, exercises, physiotherapy or rest, as advised by your doctor for relief from back or neck pain, headache or bodyache, rather than take these drugs frequently,” suggests Dr Jain.

Cough syrups

What they are

These are medicines used to treat coughs and are of two types. Those which are used for dry coughs called cough suppressants or antitussives, while those which help a cough with phlegm are expectorants. Since a lot of them are alcohol-based, people take it for getting a high.

Potential side-effects

• A pounding heart or uneven heartbeat
• Dryness in the mouth
• Nausea, stomach pain, constipation
• Dizziness, blurred vision, drowsiness
• Ringing in the ears
• Restlessness, confusion and a reduced concentration.

An alternative

Have honey with warm water to soothe a cough or just sip plain water every few minutes, if your throat is hoarse. “See your doctor so that he can advice you on treatment of the problem that is causing the cough, rather than treating it with a cough syrup,” says Col Dwivedi, Classified Specialist, ENT, Armed Forces Clinic, New Delhi. “Cough is a defence mechanism and your body throws out the irritant or the infection through the phlegm, which comes with it, so I advise not to suppress it,” he adds.

Antibiotics

What they are

Antibiotics are drugs used to treat infections caused by bacteria. Usually, our immune system can fight bacteria and stop them from multiplying enough to cause an infection. But, there are times when our immunity is low and the body is unable to control an infection. That is when you need an antibiotic. “The very fact that a competent immune system can control many an infection should be reason enough for people not to consume antibiotics regularly and let their body work in a natural way,” says Dr Sunali Kashyap, a Noida-based dentist. Those who take antibiotics unsupervised are mostly unaware of the proper course of the medicine and have a tendency to stop taking it as soon as they feel better. “But if you take an inadequate dose at irregular intervals for an incomplete duration, the bacteria may become resistant to the drug and the drug would become ineffective for future use,” adds Dr Kashyap.

“Ciprofloxacin, which is commonly administered without supervision, is a low-grade anti-tubercular drug and can sometimes mask tuberculosis, if taken by a patient,” says Dr Deepak Raina, an orthopaedic surgeon at the Indian Spinal Injuries Centre, New Delhi.

Potential side-effects

• Allergic reactions like swelling of lips, face, and tongue
• Loose stools
• Nausea, vomiting and dizziness
• Inflammation of the large intestine [colitis] especially in the elderly
• Vaginal infection in women caused by growth of fungus due to suppression of ‘good bacteria’.
• Certain antibiotics can reduce the effectiveness of oral contraceptive pills.

An alternative

“Let your doctor use his experience in deciding which antibiotic you need, or whether you really need one,” suggests Col Dwivedi.

Homoeopathic remedies

Homoeopathy offers treatment solutions to individuals based on their specific symptoms only. A homoeopath keeps in mind the patient’s psychology, habits, likes, dislikes, and temperament, before prescribing a certain medicine. This in itself leads to the importance of correct instruction before consumption of a medicine.

Besides, these medicines are not bereft of side-effects as commonly believed. “Though they are made from natural resources and their side-effects may not be lethal, they may cause stomach disorders, and palpitations, if taken injudiciously for long. In fact, you may also have a medicinal disease, i.e., experience signs and symptoms of the medicine itself,” says Dr Monika Nath, a Delhi-based homoeopath.

“Sometimes a certain medicine may give mild relief and a person may go on taking higher strengths of the same for longer periods in anticipation of complete treatment, not realising that it isn’t the right treatment after all. This causes side-effects, which may require medical intervention,” she adds.

Hence, be sure of the symptoms of the ailment and the scope and potency of the medicine before administering it.

Ayurvedic medicines

These are also derived from natural products and a lot of them are available over-the-counter, but should not be taken without instruction from a qualified ayurvedic doctor. “Ayurvedic medicines have to be prescribed based on the patient’s body type, age, lifestyle, dietary habits, and duration of disease. The dosage, duration, dietary restrictions and even the time of administration are important to get optimum benefit and avoid any side-effects,” says Dr Shantala Priyadarshini, MS [Ayurveda] from Mysore. “The side-effects could range from rashes to loose stools to flatulence to dependence on the medicine,” she adds. So, take care before you pick up triphala or tulsi without consultation.

Medicines are substances that have varied effects on your system, many of them being undesirable. A doctor, only after having studied so extensively, becomes capable of assessing your body and the risks and benefits involved in offering medication. So, the job of prescribing a medicine is best left to him.

The post Why self-medication is harmful appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Ear mechanics

Our ear is divided into three parts—outer, middle and inner ear. The outer ear takes up sound and transfers it to the middle ear where the ear drum and three tiny bones amplify and carry it to the inner ear, which is a coiled up structure, called cochlea. The cochlea contains hair cells which are responsible for creating nerve impulses that carry sound to the brain, which registers it and causes hearing. If our hair cells are over-stimulated with loud sounds frequently or with a very loud blast for short periods, they get worn out and our hearing suffers. Unfortunately, hair cells are irreplaceable. So, noise-induced hearing loss can cause irreversible damage to our ears.

Acoustic levels

Noise intensity is measured in decibel [dB] units. We start perceiving noises at 0dB and hear them safely till 80dB. Beyond that, noise becomes dangerous. Besides the intensity, it is also the duration for which you are exposed to noise that matters. So, while it may take you days of exposure to the idling sound of a bulldozer at 85dB to get affected, just listening to your earphone at its highest volume can affect you adversely in just half an hour. Your inbuilt susceptibility to noise may also make a difference to how quickly noise harms you. While your friend may be able to dance unaffected in a discotheque for hours, you may want to leave in just a few minutes because of the volume. A 45db sound can make sleeping difficult, while a 120dB noise can cause ear pain. Incidentally, noise affects more than your ears.

Unsound effects

High levels of noise can affect your health and wellbeing in more ways than one. Hearing loss can lead to irritability owing to a difficulty in understanding conversations or appreciating music. An exposure to very loud noise may be followed by ringing in the ears, called tinnitus. Some people may also experience anxiety, a surge of hormonal activity, an increase in pulse rate and blood pressure. The respiratory and digestive systems may also be affected. All of this could happen with just a single exposure to a loud burst of noise. If these exposures are frequent, your physiological disturbances may become chronic. Most importantly, noise can cause stress in daily life. Not being able to listen to normal sounds may affect your efficiency and may irritate others. Using a hearing aid may affect your self confidence. If you are pregnant, it may affect your unborn child.

Sound check

Hearing loss from noise is a slow and painless process. You may have a disability before you notice it. In fact, sometimes it takes years for people to find it. “If you need to raise your voice for talking to someone who is just 3ft away, or if you are the only one missing out parts of conversation in a group because they sound muffled, you could be suffering from a hearing loss,” says Dr Mani Bansal, speech-language pathologist and audiologist, visiting consultant, Max Superspeciality Hospital, Delhi. Your inability to carry on a normal conversation due to excessive background noise may also be an indication. If your family members complain that you raise the volume of your TV to hear, get yourself checked.

“A constant ringing or a blocked sensation in your ear after an exposure to loud sound warrants a consultation with an audiologist,” says Dr Mani. More often than not, the reason could be a Temporary Threshold Shift, a temporary hearing loss, which rectifies itself in 2 – 3 days. But it is only your audiologist who can confirm that. “If your work involves constant exposure to loud sounds, you need half-yearly check-ups; even if it doesn’t, a yearly check-up is recommended,” she adds.

Prevention is care

It takes a few exposures to extremely loud blasts of sound to wear out the hair cells of your cochlea. But once they are gone, no amount of exercise or medication can recuperate them. “You may experience difficulty in hearing high frequency or shrill sounds and may also require a hearing aid, but wearing protective devices like ear plugs, advised by your audiologist may help prevent further damage,” says Dr Mani. However, the good news is that noise-induced hearing loss is preventable and it doesn’t take much to get into good habits that can protect your ears.

Noise control

• Take a five-minute break every 15 minutes if you are in a noisy show.
• Avoid being close to a loud speaker at function.
• Keep the ringing volume of your phone low and don’t talk too loudly on your cell-phone.
• Do not listen to music on earphones for over an hour at a stretch. Also, keep the volume as low as 50 per cent of the maximum limit. In fact, you should be able to hear what the person sitting next to you is saying.
• “Use thick curtains and carpets, rubber outlines on walls and walls constructed at correct angles which can help in absorption of ambient noise,” says Dr Mani. Ideally, your living space should have acoustics adjusted to minimise ambient noise and to improve speech audibility.
• Avoid honking unnecessarily while driving.
• Do not use your cell phone at a stretch for more than 60 minutes, says an American research.
• Do not turn up the music to cover up ambient noise, it doesn’t provide a respite.
• Avoid the use of loud and noisy fire-crackers. They cause instant damage to the ears.
• Keep the music in your car at low volume. It is better to listen to soft, soothing music on a CD/audio cassette rather than the radio, which proffers disturbed signals, bringing down the quality of sound and making you reach for the volume button again and again.
• “Wear ear plugs or ear muffs whenever you feel you are exposed to loud noise in a discotheque, pub, movie theatre or even in a gym,” suggests Dr Mani. These help bring down noise levels by 40dB to 50dB. You can get your hearing protection from your audiologist.
• Get your automobiles serviced regularly to reduce noise levels.

The Government of India has laid down rules to bring down noise pollution in the country. Urge everyone to follow them.

With the International Noise Awareness Day being celebrated on 29th April, we have reason to change our habits and contribute actively in noise reduction with a little more vigour.

The post Habits to help you protect your sense of hearing appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

1. Children are well-behaved, if their parents have a high level of dedication towards them.This is probably what all of us like to think when our brood behaves well vis-a-vis that of our relatives. Before you start taking credit for that once-in-a-while good behaviour, be aware that this is not likely to happen every time. Kids are nonchalant about their activities and don’t give two hoots what others think, when they’re in a mood to play and jump around. There would also be times when your otherwise decent adolescent would throw tantrums and fuss over things. But, parents cannot be blamed for this. Taking control Instead of fretting and fuming over your kid’s misbehaviour, analyse it and see how grave the mistake is,” says Reena Saxena, a Delhi-based counsellor. “For example, if your child breaks a vase while running in the living room, you could dismiss it as a case of carelessness after telling her to be more vigilant. But, if your adolescent takes to smoking, you’ll need to give her a firm talk about its ill-effects on her health and also keep track of whether she’s making an effort to change her ways or not.”
2. Parents who can’t give enough time to their kids end up spoiling them.“There is no substitute for quality time, but the physical presence of the parent is not essential every time,” says Reena. There are times when just a phone call or a note left by you for your child can make up for your absence. As long as your act makes her feel cared for, you need not worry about not being able to be physically present at times when you really cannot.
   Taking control A good example here is of mothers who have to leave their kids at a day-care centre when they go for work and keep feeling guilty about it. “Keep track of what is happening at the day-care and be involved with the caregiver,” maintains Reena. A daily interaction with her about this will help you know her better, help her accept the day-care and take away a lot of your unnecessary guilt.
3. Good parents never fight in front of their kids. It is not only difficult, but impossible not to fight or argue in front your kids. A fight takes place when all other means of communication cease and your anger reaches its peak. You need a lot of patience to put off a fiery situation for a better time, away from kids.
   Taking control Remember that if you are angry and seething inside, it is not possible for you to behave normally with anyone around you. “So, in a scenario where you are upset with your spouse and your kid asks you to play with her don’t go along half-heartedly,” says Reena. “Instead, excuse yourself for 10 minutes, take charge of your emotions and either speak to your partner or go and hit the pillow till you feel better. Then, come back to your child to play with a light heart.”
4. New-age parents need to be well-versed with the explosion in information. A whole lot of knowledge or even good education cannot make you a good parent. What’s important is how you put your knowledge to use while parenting.
   Taking control Whether you are a simple corporate employee or the CEO, all you have to be to your child is a simple, ordinary parent who can accept her own mistakes and learn from them. There was once a little girl who when asked how old she was, said, “I am five and a half and so is my mom.” A gentle and sweet reminder that parenting is learnt with age and parents are no older than their children are.
5. Individuals who have good parents become good parents. You may have had the best and the most saintly parents who showered their love and all that you wanted, but that could well turn you into an individual who has similar demands from society. On the other hand, the most neglected children in the world may become the most caring parents, if they want to give their children what they couldn’t get themselves.
   Taking control What your parents did with you may have been right at that point of time, but may not work for your children in the present circumstances. For example, finishing dinner before seven and sleeping by 7.30 pm may have been an option for you as a child, but isn’t feasible for today’s kids who get back late from school and have so much home work. Making them sleep early doesn’t work of all, as many parents work late and may not be able get a chance to interact with them at all.
6. Parents have a right to spank their children for disciplining them.Spanking will only hurt your child—physically and emotionally. It instils fear in their tender minds and gives them the impression that this is the only way to make others listen. Studies reveal that such children become rebellious, bitter, angry and socially isolated.
   Taking control Don’t look for a quick-fix solution to discipline your child. Let your treatment be progressive. Discuss what went wrong and then give an explanation of the repercussions of your child’s mistake.
7. If parents are in sync, so are their beliefs about parenting.You could be the most envied couple in town or be the most compatible one amongst friends, but that doesn’t mean you will have similar ideas about raising your children. No two people have the same thought processes or problem-solving skills and gender does make a lot of difference.
   Taking control If your kids are young, it is advisable to keep your disagreements at bay when they are around. Find a time to discuss a few important things like discipline management, education, and health of your children between the two of you and then keep to those norms. “It is a good idea to include your adolescent in your family matters involving your parents, in-laws and spouse,” says Reena. This will help develop life skills and diplomacy in them.
8. Parenting comes naturally to well-intentioned parents. Parenting skills are learnt with experience, they are not intrinsic. You need to change with the ever-changing needs of your child. What works for you today may not apply tomorrow and what works for others may not be the best solution for you.
   Taking control There is no instruction manual to becoming a good parent. You learn from your child just the way she learns from you. You also learn from other parents and from your own experiences. Don’t be judgmental with your child and tell her that she should do a certain thing because you have been doing it. Instead, adopt a problem-solving approach, and explain why it should be done.

Awareness is a great way to dispel longstanding myths. It helps you become the thinking parents of today. So, let go and unburden yourself, you deserve it, and so do your children.

The post The parenting handbook appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

In your newly acquired role of a parent, there is an endless list of things to be done and to be aware of, while time is at a premium. So, to help you deal with the most important worry of your life, your child’s ailments, we have listed a few ways.

Common cold

Common cold is quite common in infants. Since it is a viral infection, and it takes a few days for the virus to leave the body, antibiotics and antihistamines are not recommended to treat it. Though it may seem like a petty thing, a cold can give your baby a lot of discomfort as a blocked nose may prevent him/her from suckling.

• Clear your baby’s nose by using saline drops.
• Clean the nose if the secretion dries up by using a swab of cotton dipped in warm water.
• Give steam inhalation. Usually doctors advise the use of a vaporiser which can be switched on and kept near the child’s bed. It becomes a continuous source of steam and soothes the baby’s nasal passage and throat.
• Try and give plenty of fluids to your infant, which include water and fruit juices [especially citrus fruits, which are an excellent source of vitamin C, a vitamin which is said to prevent colds]. Guava and tomato juices can also be given. However, if your baby is totally on breast feed, s/he doesn’t require having any extra fluids.
• Don’t allow anyone to smoke near the baby.

If your child’s breathing rate increases, discharge is thick and yellow, refuses to eat or drink anything or gets an acute earache, consult your paediatrician immediately.

Loose stools

Loose stools may be caused due to a viral or bacterial infection, an allergic reaction or even due to medication.

• Give oral rehydration solution to your infant with passage of every stool and every time s/he throws up. To make up for the lost water and salts, it is absolutely essential.
• If s/he can eat, give your baby freshly prepared yogurt.
• You should also give small amounts of food containing fibre [banana, cereals, and oatmeal].
• Dr Anup Agarwal, a leading paeditrician stresses on the need for hygiene. Your baby’s toys, teething ring and almost everything around that is likely to be picked up and put into his/her mouth should be washed thoroughly, regularly, as it is a major cause of infection.

If vomiting becomes frequent or shows traces of blood or if the stools become bloody and there is high fever or abdominal pain, take your baby to the doctor immediately.

Lower Respiratory Tract Infection [lrti]

The Respiratory Syncytial Virus causes LRTI in infants. The symptoms are cold, fever, cough and breathlessness .and result in an infection in bronchial passages causing diseases like bronchiolitis [in infants below three months] and bronchitis [in infants above three months]. This may also cause wheezing and result in spread to lungs causing viral pneumonia.

• Giving steam to your baby [as described above] is really helpful.
• While your baby sleeps, keep the head elevated for better breathing.
• Keep your infant away from a room cooler as humidity creates a conducive environment for germs to breed.
• When s/he wets the bed, change the nappy immediately to avoid wetness.
• Clean your child with a wet towel instead of bathing him/her.
• Avoid dusting and cleaning your baby’s room while s/he is in as dust may cause him/her a lot of discomfort.

Rashes

Rashes can be allergic or infectious. Dr Agarwal has identified the most commonly found ones in infants.

Infectious rashes

• Ring worm rash: these are raised spots with a clear rounded border like a ring, caused due to ring worms and are found in babies above the age of six months.
• Fungal rashes: these are small, red, inflamed and sometimes with a watery discharge. All infectious rashes should be treated in consultation with a doctor.

Allergic rashes

Heat rashes: are seen as tiny red spots and keep appearing and disappearing during the summer and rainy seasons. Making your baby wear soft, loose, cotton clothes helps.

Milk spots: are small white irregular patches on the face and keep appearing and vanishing. They happen due to milk allergy and go on their own.

Nappy rashes: are bright red and the most commonly occurring. They can be avoided if diaper use is reduced and the baby’s skin is exposed to air and its dryness maintained.

Rashes caused by a product: are rose pink rashes caused by using a certain product. They disappear when the use of the product is stopped.

Urticaria: This is an allergic reaction due to change of weather and shows red raised spots with an irregular margin, again disappearing with the weather.

The allergic rashes generally don’t require medication, says Dr Agarwal, but sometimes antibiotics may be prescribed to prevent a secondary infection in your baby.

Proper handling of your baby during an illness can lead to a quick recovery. Simply remember the four important mantras – breast feeding, maintaining good hygiene, avoiding self-medication and loving and caring that extra bit. Your child will definitely get well soon!

The post Common infant ailments appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

If you look deeper you’ll realise that it is a person’s inner beauty that makes him/her stand apart from others. It hasn’t got anything to do with conventional looks, but with the glow that seems to emanate right from a person’s core. This inner beauty, which illuminates everyone around can be groomed and we can all become truly beautiful individuals by practising certain things.

Tune into your sensitivity

Sensitivity is partly inherent, but all of us can use the little that we have to our benefit. While interacting with people, become aware of their beliefs before making a point. For instance, you may find movies a total waste of time while the person you are conversing with may be a big movie buff. So, before you call a spade a spade, think twice. You may put off the person with you by your insensitivity. In fact, it’s best to make neutral statements when conversing with people you don’t know well. There may be times when you require gauging the moods of those around you before you say something to them.

Be empathetic

Empathy is the ability to understand another’s perspective and respond to his/her distress. Instead of discussing how horrible your day has been, ask others about theirs. Give them a little attention and let them pour their hearts to you. This will assist you in understanding them better and help them brighten up. Before getting judgmental about their reactions, try to get into their shoes and think like them. Whatever you do, don’t make a comment without actually getting to the core of the matter.

Develop an attitude of gratitude

Being thankful for what you have can turn a situation around. As Melodie Beattie has said, “Gratitude turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, and confusion into clarity… It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events.”

There are scores of people who are of great help to us and waiting to be thanked: your daughter’s teacher for taking care of her in school, your mother-in-law for looking after her while you are away, or even your neighbour for collecting your courier in your absence.

Forgive someone

“Entitle every person one mistake every day. This will reduce a lot of your emotional burden caused from piling up people’s faults in your minds and also take away a lot of stress from work and relationships,” says Lt Col Rajesh. A good rule to follow before flaring up over something gone wrong would be to think about the implications of the same at a macro level. Your husband forgot to pick up veggies on his way back from office. Is it worth fighting over it? Why not turn it into an opportunity to have a ready-to-eat meal instead? It doesn’t matter whether the person you forgive deserves it or not, forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.

Be generous with compliments

A sincere compliment not only makes one happy, but also boosts the recipient’s self-confidence. Praise and healthy evaluations are guaranteed to cause pleasure and bring out positive reactions from people. On the contrary, negative remarks and uncalled for teasing can be extremely derogatory and can ruin a person’s self-confidence.

Remember the last time your friend complimented you for your long, shiny hair? It gave you the conviction to carry an open mane on several occasions. Do the same for others keeping in mind that every human being craves for appreciation.

Be truthful

We all know people who have a habit of talking about things in a very cursory manner and say things without giving them much thought.

There are some who have a habit of contradicting their own statements every other day. What holds true for them today may be beyond their imagination tomorrow. Though such talk may not mean much to them, it leaves a poor impression of their integrity on others and questions their authenticity and reliability. Honest people who keep to their word are always trusted and respected.

Be magnanimous

Ralph Waldo Emerson has said, “Without a rich heart, wealth is an ugly beggar.” What one really needs is to be high-minded about little things. Tip a waiter generously. Pay a little extra to a coolie or a rickshaw puller. It will become easy if you think of them as people who are not as blessed financially as you are, and that parting with a little money will not make you poorer but definitely make a difference in their lives.

Be compassionate

There are ample reasons and ways to be compassionate. Helping an old man cross a road instead of passing him by, carrying your neighbour’s shopping bags home, feeding a dog instead of kicking it away, reading the newspaper to your old grandfather, lending an ear to your distraught friend, are all activities which do not demand much of your time or effort, but fantastically affect the lives you touch.

Be positive

All of us envy positive thinkers because that is one quality in people which makes them rise above everything in life and be happy. With little effort, we can also become positive thinkers. The trick is to look for positive answers in all actions. Whether it’s a book you read or a movie you watch, there’s something to learn everywhere. A match won, a job lost and a broken relationship can all be turned into opportunities to learn life’s lessons.

If you care for spiritual strength, strive to be kind, positive and compassionate. Spend time with people who seek these characteristics in others. Attitudes can be contagious, so be in the company of those who possess a good share of your healthy ideals and you are sure to find happiness and earn respect from others.

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My teaching experience of over ten years has taught me a few important lessons which, I feel, if kept in mind by a teacher, can really make her rock.

For the sake of convenience, I have used the feminine gender for the teacher and have assumed the student to be a male.

Creating the right learning environment

This one’s a primary need. Whatever one’s depth of knowledge or level of commitment may be, the ingenuity to capture the attention of the class undoubtedly remains the most wanted quality in a teacher. Singing, dancing, acting, posing real life scenarios, one has to do them all for the sake of one’s students. Just like Gail Godwin has said, “Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths pure theatre.” This has to keep changing with each lesson to reach out to different kinds of learners. Finally, a good sense of humour can not only make a class interesting, but also dissipate anger and irritation. So, one should make good use of it.

Kids of almost all ages have a habit of sharing their day to day experiences with their teacher [Her approval matters after all!]. Sometimes it becomes difficult to be a good listener due to paucity of time. But instead of worrying about doing an extra language exercise, if one lets the kid indulge even in some useless banter, it can become a great way to practise conversation. A six-year-old who comes with stars in his eyes to tell his teacher about his dad’s birthday and goes back with “Did you make a card for him?” and “You must wish him on my behalf” turns out to be happier than the one who is told not to disturb as the teacher is busy. If you make another’s day, yours can’t be bad either.

Polishing their skills

Each and every child is good at something. Whether he is good or not at English, Hindi, Science and Math, is immaterial. It is up to the teacher to identify and hone a child’s skills, keep his morale high, self-esteem elevated and get him to improve from whichever rung of the ladder he stands.

An appropriate temperament

Couldn’t get through a certain competition? Never mind, teaching is always an option. A lot of youngsters, especially girls think this way. In fact, they are encouraged to do so since teaching jobs are considered to provide a safe working environment for women and also give them the freedom to spend more time at home. Little do people realise that it is young impressionable minds and the future of the nation that is at stake here.

Like all other professions, teaching also requires a fair amount of passion. Though the skills needed here are slightly different, they can certainly be cultivated. A good teachers’ training program only gets one ready to learn to teach. The commitment, dedication, focus and dexterity have to come from within, and be worked upon. A quintessential knack to deal with students and a generous helping of patience don’t go amiss either.

A role model

A teacher’s behaviour has to be such that her students look up to her. She not only has to be fair and impartial, but also appear to be so to her students. She requires to have a smiling countenance and a kind nature to forgive her students’ faults, while cajoling them to improve themselves each time. Keeping her temper under control, being tolerant and patient, and respecting her students for what they are will definitely win her love from her students.

Loads of love

Love really conquers all, and most definitely a clear-hearted child who comes to school everyday with a lot of faith and belief in his teacher. Trust me; it is much easier winning over young hearts with love, than by instilling fear in their minds. Statements like “Don’t you do this or else…” should be replaced by “Wouldn’t it be better if you did it this way?” It is also ideal to spell out one’s expectations in the beginning and then guide the children through the good and bad repercussions of their behaviour.

For a teacher to create a soft corner in her students’ hearts, she has to be caring and concerned of her student’s well-being when in class and even after that. Enquiring about a sick child’s health during his absence from school and giving him a call can make him feel very special indeed. Simply a “Get well soon” or “Miss you” card made by classmates or one sent by the teacher can perk up a sick child.

It is always the brighter lot which ends up interacting more with the teacher in class, or otherwise. To make the rest of them feel loved and wanted, one has to involve them in class activities. They need to be given tasks and responsibilities which make them feel important and boost their self-esteem. When a teacher calls out a typically quiet child by his name and makes him run an errand, the feeling of elation that the child gets by being known and remembered by the teacher, is unbeaten. Collecting and distributing note books in class, erasing the board and taking messages to teachers, though seemingly insipid, are tasks that can keep a primary and middle school kid’s spirits high.

The parent-teacher bridge

Parents and teachers together play a vital role in the growth and development of a kid. The kind of interaction that a teacher has with a child may bring to her notice certain things about him, which may be missed by a parent. A very common problem of not being able to read the board, if taken seriously by a teacher can nip a lot of eyesight problems in the bud. Then there are bigger issues like dyslexia and ADD [Attention-Deficit Disorder], which noted early, can make life much easier.

Some things about a child are only known to his parent. For instance, it is the parent who can unravel the reason behind her ten-year-old’s aversion for Math, in which he had failed in the subject in his previous school. So, the more a teacher interacts with a child’s parent, the better she is able to understand the child and the deeper her involvement with him.

Above all, when parents and teachers meet, they find out what works for others and get the encouragement to believe that it can work for them too.

The right teaching environment

For working effectively, one needs to keep the work environment stress-free. It’s good to accept one’s colleagues as equals, respect the opinion of others and listen to the more experienced lot, irrespective of whether they have served in the institution for a long time, or are newly employed. One also has to be strong enough not to buckle under pressure of unwanted and uncalled for bickering and scheming that goes on in a lot of places and keep one’s focus on the students.

Everything that I’ve mentioned above may be difficult for a teacher to enforce if her workplace does not support her healthy ideals and give her the independence to voice her opinion and bring about positive changes. Ideally, the head of the institution should keep the students’ and the teachers’ welfare in mind and not work towards pleasing just the parents. Things work out well if the boss is unbiased, understanding and open to talks. They work out even better if the colleagues are supportive and not jealous or devious. One really needs to look out for a workplace with a healthy working environment to be a happy teacher who is liked by one and all.

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Surveys conducted by health organizations across the globe reveal that over ten million children die from preventable causes every year before their fifth birthday and neonatal deaths are particularly prevalent. India contributes to more than a million of these deaths. The major reasons for such a high mortality rate are malnutrition and common infant illnesses like diarrhea and respiratory disorders. This can be taken care of—to a large extent—if a child is breastfed right from the time of birth.

The World Alliance for Breastfeeding Action [WABA] intends to educate people that they should initiate nursing within the first hour of birth so as to reduce child mortality, especially in the first month. It recommends that every child be nursed exclusively till the age of six months and later, along with required complementary food, till the age of two or beyond.

Why Is So Much Importance Being Given to the First Hour of Life?

The baby is highly alert during the first hour of life, discovering his new environment and has a strong desire to suckle. It is the best time to begin that special association between the mother and the child, which has benign repercussions on the child’s growth by ingraining security and self confidence in him.

The Three Key Benefits of Breast Milk

1. Benefits for the baby

   Colostrum, or “liquid gold” as it is rightly termed, is the breast milk taken by the baby during its first few feeds. The colostrum, while being an excellent source of Vitamin A, helps regulate the functioning of the baby’s intestine and clears it of meconium [baby’s first, sticky, black stool] with its laxative effects. It also strengthens the baby’s immunity by providing antibodies.

   And of course, we cannot overlook the benefits of touch that helps in mother-infant bonding and in the baby’s neurodevelopment as well.

2. Benefits for the mother

   When the baby touches the mother’s breast, oxytocin is released in her body which stimulates the flow of milk and has a calming effect on her, a quintessential requirement for her after delivery. The baby’s kicks, while it lies on her body, constrict her uterine muscles, thus controlling post-partum blood loss and preventing anemia.

   Research has ascertained that nursing for long periods reduces the risk of anemia, osteoporosis and ovarian and breast cancers in the mother’s later life.

3. Reduction of child mortality

   Commencement of breastfeeding in the first hour assures an adequate flow of breast milk for longer duration, thereby escalating the possibility of the mother being able to nurse exclusively for six months. This ensures that the nutritional needs of the child are met for the first one and a half to two years, and malnutrition and stunting are prevented.

   Infant illnesses like diarrhea and respiratory diseases precipitate death in the first month of life and it is known that about 40 per cent of infant deaths occur during this phase of life.

   Breastfeeding in the first hour empowers the child’s immune system, helping him fight these diseases and can curtail overall child mortality by 22 per cent. Colostrum intake reduces the risk of jaundice in the first few days of life. This plays an important role in reducing child mortality.

How to Begin Breastfeeding

Medical surveyors recommend that immediately after birth, the baby and the mother should be allowed skin-to-skin contact without any interventions like cleaning, dressing, medical assessments or administering Vitamin K.

It is said that soon after delivery, once the baby has cried and fallen into the process of normal breathing, it should be dried and placed between the mother’s breasts. This contact between the mother and child provides love and warmth to him. It is also exposed to the “safe germs” infesting its mother, which start to abound its skin and intestine as well, thus fortifying his immunity. The fully functional olfactory nerves of the baby guide it towards the mother’s nipple which it takes into its mouth and starts suckling. This movement of the baby from its mother’s chest to her nipple for breastfeeding is called the “breast crawl”. It is amazing to experience a newborn accomplish the breast crawl within 30 to 60 minutes, when we know that a baby does not actually start crawling before the age of six months!

Related » Busting the Myths About Breastfeeding

The promoters of breastfeeding insist that the “breast crawl” is the simplest and the best way to commence breastfeeding in the first hour. Since, it can be done in any situation or setting, and provides a platform for longer contact between mother and child. It is nature’s greatest gift to a woman. All families, doctors and nurses should come together in making this gift come alive and contribute in saving the lives of millions of babies around the world.

The post The First Supper: Benefits of Breast Milk For Baby and Mother appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Speak to your child

Your child will be able to give you the best insight into what the matter actually is. Ask him gently about the incidents that have affected him. Check if they really appear like a series of events which have been aimed to trouble your child. Sometimes, a child may be biased against a teacher himself or may not like him/her for various reasons. Making things appear sour may just be an attempt on his part to get even with the teacher, knowing well that you – being his parent – will definitely believe him.

“In certain cases, especially if the child is young, he may not want to attend a certain teacher’s class because she doesn’t pamper him or give him the kind of attention he gets at home”, says Dr S B Singh, a well known clinical psychologist. In such a case,the child should be taught the difference between the environment at home and at school, and explained that the teacher has to treat all children equally.

Talk it out with the concerned teacher

Meet the teacher and ask her what she expects from your child and where she finds your child lacking. Listen to her and discuss how these things can be taken care of. Ask her for her views and tell her how much that will help you and your kid. This will make her realise that she plays an important role in your offspring’s life and you respect her for that. This will definitely mellow her down and make her more receptive to discussing the problem your child had with her. Relate the incidents that bother you and tell her that your child has been feeling a little upset of late, because of them. Hear out her side of the story and pay heed to her point of view – there may be a possibility of the problem getting sorted out through dialogue. The teacher may understand your point of view and choose a path agreeable to both.

Speak to the head of the school

If the teacher is adamant and has decided to get even with you while making your child the scapegoat, you need to pull up your sleeve and take action.

Meet the principal of your school and discuss the problem. Go there with your spouse, as parents who are out to seek a solution to their child’s problem. In case you are a teacher in the same school, be clear you are visiting as a parent and not an employee. Dr. S.B. Singh believes that if an employee is positive in his/her approach and can control emotions, he/she need not fear the consequences like losing the job in this conflict.

The head of the school should be able to solve your problem, either by speaking to the teacher concerned or – if required – getting the child’s class changed.

Go for a change of school, if required

You have spoken to your child, to the teacher and to the head of the school. If you still think things are not working out, then it is a good idea to change your child’s school. It may be inconvenient and a very difficult decision to make, but it will relieve you and your child of the mental torture. You being an adult may be able to cope, but a child’s impressionable mind may not be able to take it.

Your peers may question such a radical decision. Give them a positive explanation that your child needed the change in environment for better growth. Always keep in mind that the most important person in the picture is your child and it is solely your responsibility to provide a happy and conducive environment for him. So, play the parent’s role to the hilt!

Tips to remember

Never unduly believe the child and go against the teacher. It is quite natural for a parent to believe the child, seeing him in distress. But it is better to be aware of the entire picture, before plunging into action.

Never lose your temper. Losing your cool may spoil things for your child as well as for you. There’s a possibility that the teacher in question may not even accept playing a role in the problem.

There are always several ways to tackle a problem. Before adopting any one of them, consider their pros and cons. What seems to be the best solution for others, may not work for you at all. The most important thing is to remember that your child’s wellbeing is your utmost priority.

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Escape from the grind

When you read, you step into another world, explore somebody else’s life, focus on something completely different from your problems. This shoves away your stress to one corner while you enjoy your book in another. Whether you dive into a sea of fantasy with an engrossing fiction or discover the truths of life in a non-fiction, reading is a leisure activity that is bound to be entertaining and rejuvenating at the same time.

Get comfort and inspiration

Be it an examination, an interview or a medical test, they are all capable of giving you a feeling of anxiety. Reading a book on similar issues can take away a lot of dread associated with them. Biographies and autobiographies of great people, success stories of the rich and the famous, and tales of triumph over adversities become a great source of inspiration and comfort. A good book can strike a chord, reach places that no one else can and provide the much awaited answers. It can soothe a troubled mind and alleviate pain. It can show you ways to conquer challenges in your life. Above all, it can give you hope – just to know that there are others like you – or even worse than you – who have survived turbulent times and emerged victorious.

Reading holy books can bring you close to God and be a harbinger of peace, love, joy and healing wisdom in your lives.

The therapeutic power of reading books

According to DH Lawrence, “One sheds one’s sicknesses in books.” Reading can actually be therapeutic and help you beat the blues. The concept of the interconnectedness of reading and healing goes back to Plato’s time and now-a-days doctors’ use it to their advantage in treating mentally-ill patients. This kind of healing with the help of books is known as bibliotherapy. It is defined in the wikipedia as an expressive therapy that uses an individual’s relationship to the content of books and poetry and other written words.

A bibliotherapist with the help of the patient’s doctor prescribes a set of books which are designed specially to allay the patient’s malady. The books give the patients a chance to read about their own circumstances, dramatised by the protagonist in the book in a well thought-out plot. An opportunity to reflect upon their own state of affairs from a distance gives the readers the courage to face life bravely. It is observed that patients who take book therapy are more likely to reduce their medication.

Benefits of reading books

1. Build your expertise

Unless you are an IT expert, there are sure to be times when you need help with your computer skills. It could be with an office presentation or simply a time when your printer refuses to print. With so much to read on IT today, it is not difficult to hone your skills.

I’m sure most of you like to play or follow at least one game for the thrill that it brings with it. But you may not know everything about it. This is where reading comes to your rescue. The same goes for a hobby that you may be wanting to pursue for a long time but didn’t know how to go about. Most women will agree with me that it is not difficult to acquire good culinary skills, thanks to recipe books.

2. Discover yourself

Think you are falling in love? A love story can probably help you understand your feelings better. The headiness that love brings has been written about in umpteen ways and can nourish your soul at a time when you need it the most. It may even unveil the true meaning of a soul mate and assist you in understanding what you want from yours.

Whether you have a grumpy pre-schooler or a temperamental adolescent, there are books to set your parenting skills right. If you are depressed about being overweight, reading a book or two on nutrition, the right diet and exercise can help you identify your problem and address it too. Some books may even help you realise your desires and expectations from yourself and help you choose a career.

3. Enhance your self-esteem

There’s a story behind every war that was fought, city that was established, movie that was made and book that was written. The more you read, the more you learn about the behind-the-scenes account of events. This gives you that extra edge over others when it comes to initiating a conversation and holding on to it. Similarly, reading books on debatable subjects like history, formation of the Universe, and existence of God gives you the patience to treat others’ views respectfully and also form an opinion.

Reading a novel draws you into remembering the course of events which steps up your memory eventually. The knowledge that you gain about different places and cultures cannot be disputed either.

So, being a reader can definitely turn you into an individual with better concentration, language and mental skills and make you popular among your acquaintances. This is sure to step up your self-esteem!

4. Stimulate your imagination

Unlike the visual media, reading does not force interpretations on you. You can understand the author’s point of view better when you read a book by her/him rather than watching a movie made on the book. Books do not restrict your imagination; you are free to read between the lines. They allow you a no-holds-barred view of the text.

Begin today

If you think you can never find the time to read a book, are not adequately inclined to read one, or don’t know which one to read, we have a few ideas which might work for you.

• Buy a book which is based either on a hobby, art or game in your hot pursuit.
• Pick up a thin book for yourself in the beginning. Once you’ve finished reading that, it will give you a sense of accomplishment and encouragement to read more.
• Join a library that expects you to return books within a certain time. This way, you will at least try to finish reading yours within that period.
• Call on a bookstore often. Something is sure to catch your eye. There’s nothing better than taking your family out on a weekend to a bookstore that offers reading space where you can relax with a book you like. This will also give you an opportunity to read excerpts from various books and decide which one to pick up.
• Do keep in mind that all books cannot hook you with their beginnings. You need to read further to get captivated.
• Fix a comfortable reading area at home. Every time you sit there, you are likely to pick up a book and relax.
• Read regularly for 15-20 minutes before you sleep.

Go ahead readers, make books your best friends. They won’t judge you, be jealous of your achievements, argue or talk back. Rather, they will be with you whenever you want and never let you down.

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