During the contest, the young man displayed superlative adeptness when his first arrow hit the bull’s eye, and then he split that arrow into two with his second shot. Highly pleased with his own performance, he dared the old man to match it. The master remained calm and instead of drawing his bow he motioned for the young archer to follow him up the hill. Curious about what the old man was up to, the young archer followed him near the peak of the mountain. There, they confronted a deep gulf, bridged simply by a flimsy trunk of an old tree. The master stepped on the wobbly log and walked to the middle, picked a far away tree as a target, drew his bow, and fired a clean, direct hit. Calm and composed, he stepped off the log quietly, looked at the champion archer and said, “Your turn now.”

As he stared into the terrifying chasm, the young man trembled and couldn’t even step onto the log, leave aside attempting to shoot at a target. Sensing his predicament, the old man looked at him lovingly and, without a trace of superiority, said, “Young man, no doubt you have great skill with your bow and arrow but you have little skill with the mind that controls these weapons. Shooting arrows in contests is not that same as firing them on the battlefield, where violence can arise upon any kind of terrain and under any conditions. If you want to be a real champion, go and become the master of your mind.”

Why Unwavering Composure Matters

For me, the lesson in this Zen story runs deeper than the abyss that terrified the young archer. All my life, I have been taught to focus on learning new ways to succeed, on acquiring knowledge, on gaining technical “expertise”. After all, these qualities are valued in the world. But when disaster strikes, when I am confronted with an unexpected crisis, or when life throws a curve ball, no amount of expertise and knowledge comes in handy — unless it is also accompanied by a tranquil mind. Only if you are calm and composed can you face stressful situations without succumbing to the pressure. And yet, learning worldly skills is given prominence everywhere with hardly any emphasis on the importance of training the mind for peace and calmness.

But then, life is the greatest school with the most unsuspecting teachers on its roll. And my teachers have come disguised as unexpected difficulties and stressful situations — challenges and problems that have stumped me and made me realize that what I most need at that moment is unwavering composure; nothing else matters as much.

Also read » The lion and the crippled fox

Why Staying Calm Helps

I rate the ability to stay calm and composed as greater than any other material accomplishment. Without composure, I cannot help myself or another. But if peace is my constant companion, regardless of how stressful the challenge, how demanding the situation, how dicey the problem, I know I can deal with it. This is what the Zen master implied when he urged the young archer to become the master of his mind.

I understand that steadfast equanimity requires great practice and dedication, especially because it is not given priority in a world that is smitten by material wealth and sense pleasures. But, like the Zen story teaches us, skill — or for that matter riches, fame or power — are of little use without a calm mind. That’s why I consider the ability to stay calm and composed under all circumstances to be the greatest quality. This quality of composure is a flowering of mindfulness. Let me explain.

How to Be Mindful In Stressful Situations

To be able to stay calm and composed in the midst of chaos and uncertainty requires one to be in a state of heightened awareness, which is the quality of mindfulness. When facing a crisis, a mindful person, rather than being swayed by extreme emotions, stays calm and controlled while working the best way out of the situation. Mindful beings are in touch the present moment and also know that their all power exists now in the timeless realm of now. When you focus on the present, you are able to respond better to the challenges at hand rather than being overwhelmed by stress and losing perspective of your situation.

Here are a few steps that will help you stay calm and composed in stressful situations:

1. Acknowledge and accept that you are feeling stressed

Only when you acknowledge the physical and emotional signs of stress — palpitations, feelings of weakness, a stream of dreadful thoughts — are you in a position to do something about it. Accepting your stressful feelings allows you to approach the situation objectively and calmly.

2. Stop and notice your breath

Take a moment to pause and pay attention to your breathing. As you notice you breath, you will begin to breathe deeper and slower which, in turn, will activate the body’s relaxation response and help you regain a sense of calm.

3. Bring your attention to the present

Become intensely present. Look around and notice your surroundings. Also make note of  the sensations in your body as well as your mental chatter. Doing so will instantly ground you and anchor you to the present moment. Now you will have a clearer view of the stressful situation.

4. Question your fearful thoughts

Stressful situations cause our minds to go into an overdrive of negative thinking. But most of these thoughts are simply unfounded fears that can be challenged and disputed with reason. As you question your thoughts, you will be able to look at your stressful situation in the right context.

5. Be your own friend

Avoid self-criticism. Bashing yourself up is self-defeating phenomenon with terrible consequences. Give yourself space to be imperfect. Be gentle and compassionate to yourself like you would be to a friend in a similar situation.

Conclusion

Try following the above steps, the next time you feel immobilized when facing a difficult situation. With practice, being mindful will enable you to stay stay calm and composed no matter how challenging and stressful your situation.

If you wish to learn how to cultivate a mindful disposition, start by reading this article.

Also read » The man who eliminated uncertainty

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When it was the turn of the oldest member to host the group, he served tea with an elaborate ceremony. His demeanour was meticulous as he carefully measured out the tea leaves from a golden container and prepared the tea before serving it to his friends who loved the exquisite taste of his tea. Indeed, they were so impressed that they insisted on finding out the secret recipe of his tea.

The old man smiled and said, “Gentlemen, the tea that you find so delightful is the one that the peasants on my farm drink. The finest things in life are neither costly nor hard to find.”

The myth around rarity

We tend to value things from the filter of our perceptions, which have been coloured by a lifelong belief—if it’s rare and owned by only a few others, it must have great value and must be ‘expensive’. Conversely, if it’s freely available to all, its value is low or even zero. In the Zen tale above, had the friends of the old man known beforehand that the tea they were served was not ‘exquisite’, they would have, in all likelihood, not perceived it as delightful.

I, too, grew up with this belief instilled by the society and reinforced in my days as a student of economics. I learnt about the inverse relationship between demand/supply and the price of a commodity. Simply put, when something is available easily and in vast quantities, the price tends to be lower and vice-versa.

I also learned that this demand/supply relationship is contextual and may change based on ‘market forces’. In short, while growing up, the basic idea—that rare equals precious—was firmly established in my unsuspecting mind.

Real value

One of the gifts of mindful living is that you call into question your thoughts and beliefs. As I grow in mindfulness, I sense that the way I have learnt to value things doesn’t work for me anymore. I have begun asking myself: why do I place greater value on inert stuff while I hardly ever think about the things that are most vital for my life, even if easily available? Air, water, sunlight, a good conversation, a loving hug… although absolutely vital, are free. And yet, don’t I take them for granted?

Such questioning has helped me understand that the real value of the stuff has nothing to do with its ‘psychological’ value. While the former is intrinsic and based on pure experience, the latter is shaped by beliefs, perceptions, social norms and the like.

No longer do I equate expensive or exquisite with valuable. Instead, I look for the real value in things and experiences. The more I cherish that which is of real value to me—regardless of its price tag or rarity—the richer I feel, and the more I am able to live my life fully.

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One day, the gardener learnt that there would be important dignitaries visiting the temple. This news inspired him to work extra hard—he carefully pulled out all the weeds, pruned the shrubs, combed the moss, and spent a long time meticulously raking up and carefully arranging all the dry autumn leaves.

As he worked, the old Zen master standing beyond the garden wall watched him with interest. When he had finished, the gardener stood back to admire his work. He turned to the old man watching and asked, “Doesn’t it look beautiful?”

“Indeed,” replied the Zen master, “but there’s something amiss. If you’d like, I’ll put it right for you.”

The gardener hesitated at first but then the compassionate look on the master’s face made him nod in consent and he walked towards the old man and helped him climb down the wall. Slowly, the master walked to one of the trees in the middle of the garden, held it with both hands and shook it up. Dry leaves fell down all around the garden. “There,” said the old man, “now you’re done.”

Perfection in imperfection

The Zen story reveals how the human mind has been trained to have fixed ideas about what constitutes perfection and imperfection. In fact, the very idea of imperfection is absurd because how can there be anything imperfect, unless there was someone to judge it as being so.

Imperfection is only a concept. There is nothing imperfect in existence. Can’t be! It’s very existence makes it “perfect”. But we have notions of perfect/imperfect fed into our heads from early age. Imperfection is a subjective phenomenon, totally depending on the individual. In absence of a mind that discriminates, there is only perfection.

In our highly mechanised society, we are used to machine-made things—from our food to our cars, everything is manufactured to specifications and cloned in factories so that every item that comes out of the assembly resembles every other item exactly. If there is even a slight variation, it is considered defective and not fit for consumption.

No two snowflakes are alike

But life isn’t created on an assembly line. It comes in all shapes and sizes, never repeating itself, no matter how many trillion life forms take birth. The reason why every snowflake is unique is that the greater Intelligence that powers our Universe is creative and original. It isn’t concerned about trying to impress anyone; nor does it rely on any die to produce life forms.

Manicured gardens might be soothing to our disciplined minds that have learned to put everything in a certain structure but life grows wild and untamed. Life flourishes when Nature is left to its own. Untouched by humans, it finds its own way to thrive—a phenomenon we urban dwellers find difficult to appreciate or understand. The beauty of such unrestricted growth is not the same as the concepts of beauty that we have grown to accept as standard.

The autumn leaves are dry and brown but they are part of life’s circle of birth and death. When left alone, these leaves merge with the soil in due course and soon new life springs forth from it. The old, dead leaves shed their old form and come back in the form of new growth. Seen from this perspective, autumn leaves reflect the perfection of life. And perhaps that is why the Zen master decorated the garden with the autumn leaves.

Honouring imperfection

The Japanese tradition of Wabi Sabi respects the idea that life is always perfect and that is why it honours the so-called imperfection in outward aesthetics. By definition, Wabi Sabi is the art of finding beauty in the imperfect, the impermanent and the incomplete. A crack in the porcelain mug, for instance, would make it unfit for use in our modern, westernised culture. However, in Japan, it is revered as a sign of authentic beauty and a gentle reminder of the impermanent nature of existence.

No matter how conventionally beautiful and “perfect”, every form disintegrates with time. Seen from our finite perspectives, this transience and imperfection of life may seem dreadful. But such transience and imperfection is what makes life truly beautiful and worth cherishing, if only you care to look at it that way.

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Story of the Lion and the Fox

There was once a man who prayed relentlessly for divine awareness to bring him lasting joy and success in his life. Finally, after months of praying, his effort bore fruit. As he went to sleep, he dreamed that he was wandering in the forest looking for enlightenment.

The next morning, taking the dream as a cue from God, he headed to the woods and meandered there for several hours looking for some sign that would provide answers. That’s when he spotted a fox with no legs lying between two rocks in a cool place.

Curious as to how a crippled fox has been surviving, he hid behind a tree and waited until sunset and was surprised to see a lion come and lay meat before the fox. “Ah, now I understand,” the man thought. “The secret to success in life is to trust that God will take care of all my needs. I don’t need to struggle to provide for myself. All I have to do is simply surrender.”

Two weeks later, weakened and starving after applying his newfound “wisdom”, the man had another dream. In it he heard a voice say, “Fool! Be like the lion, not like the fox.”

A Powerful Lesson on Serving

There’s such a powerful lesson in this Zen tale for everyone who walks the path of self-discovery. Life is a fine balance between surrender and service. The crippled fox was in the state of surrender because of his physical inability to do anything. The lion, on the other hand, was capable of hunting; he was in a position to help the fox and was doing exactly that.

When I am fully capable of helping myself and others, I have the opportunity to be the large-hearted lion. At such times, I need to act courageously, move forward with conviction and do all that I can to the best of my ability. I must not look for an excuse to shy away from action. I must be careful not to resign myself to a difficult situation and recognise the strengths I possess. Besides, being of service to others is a privilege. When someone needs my help, it means I am being given the opportunity to use my gifts and I must be grateful for that.

When to Surrender

There are also times when I actually find myself in the position of the crippled fox—absolutely helpless regarding a situation. Such times—when there’s simply no way out—are times to practise surrender, which is another way of saying that I must simply relax and allow life to unfold. Such surrender is an act of faith, and comes from a deeper understanding that whatever is happening is exactly what is supposed to happen. How do I know that? Because, it is happening! As Byron Katie says, “When I argue with reality, I lose—but only 100 per cent of the time.” I might as well accept what is. Then, a lion may or may not be on his way to rescue me—that’s not my lookout. My job is to make peace with my situation, however undesirable it is. Because, life has its own way of working out.

My great challenge, of course, is to guard against the tendency to underestimate my inner strengths or assume false weaknesses as an excuse for inaction. When I do so, I am behaving like the man in the above story who acted like the crippled fox even though he was really a mighty lion.

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