Long ago I had heard in a life class that the Universe always gives you signs. It’s like a big mirror and it reflects your thoughts and feelings. So, during those three days, I reflected about what signs the Universe was giving me.

I realised that there were many small and big signs that I had refused to see until then—like losing a job, a friendship and a relationship. I had told myself that these are just phases… until debt came over, took me by the collar and had my attention. I realised I was suffering from a disease called “over-giving.”

So how did I land myself in this awful situation

I was brought up by a single mother along with three other siblings. I was the youngest of three daughters. It was a hard life and I only got attention when I was either sick or created a crisis. So somewhere I created this story about myself: “If I stay sick and in a bad state I would be loved and taken care of.” I also felt I was not good enough the way I was, which led to over-giving, in order to earn appreciation. To add to it, I was/am a sensitive girl and an empath; it was in my nature to give.

Childhood passed but sadly the pattern remained. I continued to over-give i order to receive appreciated. I became an agony aunt who was always available and people started dumping their toxicity on me.

Giving is not bad, but the law of nature dictates that there must be a balance—to receive you have to give, and vice versa. I was completely closed to receiving. I was in an underpaid job, was involved in too many voluntary activities and found myself surrounded by a lot of needy people. The Universe could not have held a better image than that one for me to face my reality. I sought therapy.

From then, life started changing for the better

My therapist told me that I had a 100 taps open with not enough in the reservoir. I could not even sustain myself, yet I was constantly giving. So, it showed up as emotional debt in my life. No wonder sickness came and with it came financial debt as well. It baffled me that people who were less hardworking or educated than me were in better positions in life. I slogged, did good to others but continued suffering. Little did I know that I was living my childhood story of lack.

Making the change was not easy

At the age of 30 my friends were settled—financially and personally. And here I was, beginning to relearn the ways of life. It brought in a lot of anger, guilt, fear and the need to blame. The first lesson was to accept total responsibility of myself. In a gist, I had to accept that I was a fully functional adult with freedom of choice.

The next step was self-parenting. It meant that I gave myself the care I expected my parents or my guardians to give me as a child. I started to tell myself good things and I did so every day. I told myself I was beautiful, brilliant and deserved better.

The third thing I did was to let some people go. I believed in always staying in touch, no matter what. But when you hoard on to what is now useless [even though it once served a purpose], it starts stinking. I started choosing people. With deep humility and grace, I asked a few to leave. Of course that caused commotion but I stuck to my guns.

The fourth thing I learned was to ask for what I want. Now I hear the other person out, but I make sure that I speak out about my needs and reach a happy middle ground. This has come from a place of self deserving. I learned that we only ask for what we think we deserve. I left my job and got a better deal. The Universe always helps when you intend to grow.

As, I made these changes, my environment started responding. I started getting work that satiated me. I was paid for every little piece I wrote—there was no more free work. Today, I am surrounded by happy healthy people and it’s been a while since I faced a crisis.

Commitment is the key

It takes commitment and effort to break your patterns. I realised that my patterns had come from my grandmother, through my mother to me. Though it may seem like a family thing, my siblings did not carry it. If I look back at life, I see so many crises that I created, all for the need to be loved and heard. Now that I love myself, I am loved, honored and heard everywhere I go, just as I am.

Have I learnt my lessons? To an extent yes, but I am still a work in progress, till I see the manifestation of a fully abundant life, in every way possible.

The post Breaking patterns: My journey from debt to abundance appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

I was in a job I hated, doing work I hated and in a 60-minute daily commute I hated. My life was headed in the wrong direction—that was for sure. I knew I had potential, that I could really do great things, manifest happiness in my life and impact the world—but… sometimes knowing is not enough.

Financially I was secure.  I had a good, paying job and so did my wife. But, boy was I ever unhappy.

I felt that something was missing… but if I only knew what. I needed to make some changes BIG TIME, so I started with the obvious.

I had always dreamed of having a Sports car.  I love speed. So I bought a Nissan 350Z with 287HP—all muscle. The car was great and I loved it, but it was only a temporary patch. It felt nice to drive the car, but something bigger was still missing.

I thought the car would make me happy. It didn’t.

TRUTH #1

Anytime you rely on the outside world to make you happy, you are working with a temporary solution. Do this often enough and you create a belief system—what I call the chasing mentality—chasing after the things you want to have because you think they will make you happy.

I kept the Nissan 305Z for a few years. I drove it and enjoyed it, but it knew it wasn’t part of my end game.

I realised there must be something else, but what?

That led to an important question—a sort of mantra that played in my head as I kept searching for happiness…

“What are you passionate about and what do you want to do with your life?”

The more I asked this question, the better life got. So I kept asking in the hope of finding something better.

Then I got an idea… an idea that scared and excited me at the same time… I thought, “Why not create my very own coaching business and do it full time?”

I decided to act on the idea. I still remember the day. I was terrified. I walked right into the CEO’s office and told him that I was going to resign and start my own coaching business. I told him I was passionate about coaching and that I was also writing my very own blog.

What happened next floored me.

He gave me a big hug and congratulated me! He even did one better. He said, “Steve, if you want we’ll hire you back as a consultant after your last day as a full time employee—from that point forward you can work part-time as a consultant until you get your business up and running.”

What a shock! I was elated… I was going to pursue my dream and be able to take care of my family.

It was as if I had this magic wand and whenever I wanted something, I would just act on my ideas and the wand would wave its magic. I was so happy. Life was good.

TRUTH #2

When you get an idea—act! Don’t delay. The Universe loves speed. Release ideas such as, “I already know that” or “this won’t lead to anything” from your mind. Just move towards your goals and your goals will move towards you.

I wish this was a fairy-tale ending, but it’s not. The next 16 months tells the story of my greatest struggle and my greatest lesson on my search for happiness. As I was learning and trying to figure out how to make a good income from my coaching business, I hit another bleak reality.

It was a Friday afternoon in Toronto, 16 months after quitting my job and I went to review my bank statements for the first time in months…

• Money Going Out Each Month = $6,000
• Money Coming In Each Month = $3,000

Our situation seemed hopeless. I was completely broke and going even more broke by the minute.

Then the breakthrough moment came. My moment of realisation: I need to be financially responsible for my family and I need to do whatever it takes.

I need to do that now!

So that’s what I did. But my focus was not on the money. It was on making a contribution and giving openly. As I started to put my focus on others and what I could do to help them, I started to manifest some magical things—money and fabulous opportunities—so I kept waiving my wand.

Within a 16 Month Period…

• I went from earning $1,000 monthly to $10,000 monthly
• I moved from a 1,600 sq ft home into a beautiful 3100 sq ft home
• I became financially responsible
• I started to have more fun and feel really good about what I was doing

And most importantly—for the first time in my life—I felt I was living life on my terms. That life was up to me.

TRUTH #3

When you contribute you come alive. Contribution is the essence of your soul. When you contribute, you unlock Godly forces that bring a whirlwind of treasure back to you. Give openly and often.

The truth is that you are the change you want to see and you can create whatever you want. If you want to be happy, you can create that too.

My purpose is this—to remind you that you are the co-creator. You are the wizard. You are the magician. You are the painter. You are the Picasso of your life. It’s all you.

The post The three simple truths that turned around my life and brought me joy appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.