The problem with goals is that even if they’re something you want with all your heart, your motivation can, and most frequently does, wane. Like a new log that is lit with fire, the flame is burning hot and bright at first. But all too soon, we have burning embers that slowly begin to die. What can you do to keep your fire burning hot? What can you do to stay motivated?

Let’s look at five ways you can keep your fire of motivation burning even when the going gets so tough that all you want to do is quit.

5 steps to stay motivated when you really want to quit

1. Visualize yourself succeeding

Too often, we stop ourselves from reaching our goals because we can’t quite picture ourselves achieving them. We feed ourselves self-defeating phrases like, “you’re never going to be successful, so why even try?” On the flip side, if you can actually see yourself doing whatever it is you want to do, your brain will automatically work toward it. In fact, some of the world’s top sportspersons use visualisation to help them do their absolute best in their individual sports. To do this yourself, find a quiet, comfortable place and sit with your eyes closed as you envision yourself not only achieving, but maybe even surpassing your goal. Engage all of your senses so you can feel, hear, taste, smell, and touch what true victory feels like. Do this every day for 5-10 minutes. The more your mind can “see” your goal as a reality, the higher the chances of it manifesting for you.

2. Walk the walk

There’s no way around it. If you want to reach your goals, you’re going to have to put in some work. The question is: are you doing this or are you just talking about it? For instance, if your goal is to lose weight, are you eating healthier foods or do you just talk about the fact that you should eat more salads and less fast food? If your goal is to get a promotion at work, are you going the extra mile to show that you deserve a higher-paying slot or are you just talking about it? The definition of walking the walk is “to actually do something rather than just talking about it, so that people can see you are really good at it.” Thus, living by this motto can help you stay motivated because you become known as a doer versus a dreamer.

3. Find a mentor who keeps you motivated

There are those who have already walked the path you wish to take. Find such people and ask them for their guidance and mentorship.They can handhold you on your journey and help you navigate challenges and pitfalls so that you don’t get discouraged when things don’t go your way.

4. Associate with the right individuals and groups

Motivation is contagious. When you associate with those who are themselves highly motivated and inspired, their enthusiasm rubs on to you. The opposite is also true: Those are who are mostly cynical or indifferent tend to dampen your enthusiasm and motivation. Never share your ideas and dreams with such people; if possible, stay away from them or at least minimise your association. Mark Twain said, “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

If you spend any time on social media, one way to keep yourself motivated to reach your goals is to follow people who motivate you to want to be your best. Let their words of inspiration continue to push you forward, even when you’d love nothing more that to just give up.

5. Make it enjoyable

It is fair to assume that you will spend considerable time and effort to reach your goals and achieve whatever it is that you have set your heart on. Imagine spending all that time feeling weary and dull. Obviously you can’t stay motivated and inspired if you find routine cumbersome or boring. Therefore it is imperative that whatever you do, you make it enjoyable. Find ways to make your work fun and exciting. Also ensure that you take frequent breaks (it boosts creativity) and avoid multitasking (enemy of productivity). Lastly, keep your work stress under control. Too much stress and anxiety tends to deteriorate your overall health and wellbeing, making all your efforts ultimately worthless and counter-productive.

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On the other hand, inspirational coaches will find that their athletes will become less reliant on them over time.

“Being increasingly needed by your athletes as time goes on is not a good sign,” says Chou-Yu Tsai, assistant professor of management in Binghamton University’s School of Management adding, “if your athletes no longer need your leadership and guidance as time goes on, that should be seen as a positive sign that you’ve helped them in their development.”

Tsai, who studies leadership in a number of contexts, including athletics, worked with a research team consisting of San-Fu Kao of National Tsing Hua University and Robert Schinke of Laurentian University. They set out to discover how a coach’s leadership style affected athlete evaluations of their competency over time.

Insights gained from basketball players

The researchers evaluated how nearly 250 Division I collegiate basketball players felt about their coaches at different points over the course of a season. They focused on a coach’s ability to enact transformational leadership, or the ability to develop athletes to their full potential.

“Transformational coaches empower their players in ways beyond just playing a sport. They help players develop meaning and instill pride, and encourage them to go above and beyond for the good of the team,” said Tsai.

They found that coaches who enacted high transformational leadership had a decrease in perceived coaching competency by their athletes over time. In other words, the more a coach inspired a player to achieve their full potential, the less the athlete relied on their coaching.

In contrast, they found that coaches with low transformational leadership skills had an increase in perceived coaching competency by their athletes over the course of the season. This means that players may rely more on their uninspiring coaches over time.

“If you’re not gaining some sort of independence from your coach, you may feel like you need that coach even more,” said Tsai. “This probably isn’t a good sign.”

Perception is key

Tsai said it’s important for coaches to understand how their leadership style interacts with player perceptions of them.

“Coaches may incorrectly think they did something wrong if their athletes aren’t as reliant on them anymore,” said Tsai. “On the contrary, our research indicates that this kind of independence is a sign that you demonstrated good leadership behaviors.”

As for how to become a transformational leader, Tsai recommends that coaches focus on the personal development of their athletes.

“Transformational coaches don’t want athletes to only become better players. They mentor their athletes and help them become better people as well,” said Tsai.

♦♦♦

The study, “Investigation of the interaction between coach transformational leadership and coaching competency change over time,” has been published in the International Journal of Sports Science & Coaching.

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Lisa Cox

1 of 5

I had a modest, suburban upbringing in Australia. My mum, dad, sister, brother and I lived together until I graduated from university and moved away to work. I loved my new corporate job but desperately missed my old life with family and friends.

10 years ago, some really bad luck changed everything. I was 24 when a rare virus attacked my body and caused a brain haemorrhage. I spent the next year in hospital having over a dozen operations including the amputation of my left leg, all of my remaining toes and nine fingertips. In the coming years, I returned for more operations including a total hip replacement and open heart surgery.

Sure, I have lost a lot but I’ve never lost the love and support of my amazing family. Some of my former friends stopped coming by because they couldn’t handle what happened to me then and my subsequent disabilities. But the friendships I have now are stronger and genuine.

An accident that changed everything

For about two months, my family camped in the hospital while I was in a coma, on life support. Every cell in my body died; my family were told that they might have to turn off my life support.

It was traumatic for my family but they supported each other. As each new day dawned, they were grateful for the beeping sounds that came from the machines keeping me alive.

After coming out of the coma, I couldn’t do anything for myself. It was overwhelmingly frustrating, especially considering I had been so independent in the past. However, having my family and friends there made it easier. Their commitment to my wellbeing was unwavering and for that I am forever grateful. Here are just a few examples of the things they did to help me heal.

As each new day dawned, they were grateful for the beeping sounds that came from the machines keeping me alive

Re-training myself

I was fed through a tube for the first six months but eventually I learnt to eat ‘normal’ food again. However, it was many more months before I could use my hands, so my family would take turns feeding me, like an infant, until I could handle cutlery.

Their support didn’t end at meal times. During the day, dad would read books to me and take me outside in my wheelchair to see the sunshine.

After a full day at her demanding job, my sister would come up to the hospital in the evenings and sit with me while we watched one of my favourite shows.

It was approximately one year before I could pull my hair back in a ponytail after my fingertips were amputated, so my sister always did that for me too.

It’s the little things in life

The examples I’ve mentioned above may seem ‘small’ but that’s just the point I want to emphasise. If you’re helping someone through a difficult time (regardless of whether or not they are in hospital), you needn’t feel compelled to make overtly grandiose gestures of support. For me, it was all the little things that had the biggest impact (like Mum’s home cooking!). I had countless hours of physical rehabilitation with medical professionals. However, my mental wellbeing was well looked after by my loved ones.

Connection with family and friends is an integral part of wellbeing. You needn’t have a ‘perfect’ family unit [nobody does!] to reap the benefits of love and support that family and friends provide.

During the day, dad would read books to me and take me outside in my wheelchair to see the sunshine

If you’re helping someone through a tough time, here are some other things to consider.

• Be their cheerleader! My family always encouraged me to push myself and challenge the bleak outlook of medical professionals. Together, we celebrated the smallest accomplishments, like brushing my own teeth for the first time.
• Help them see the positives in a bad situation. In the hospital, I frequently received bad news about my health. My family helped me smile and see the lighter side of serious times.
• Walk the talk. If you want your loved one to be positive, you need to set the tone and do that yourself. My family and friends did their best to be positive around me and it helped lift my spirits, keeping me optimistic.

My life today

A couple of years ago, I married my best friend. It was a small ceremony attended by our closest family and friends.

Because I can take a few steps with assistance, I was determined to walk down the aisle. With my mum and dad each holding my arms for support, I shuffled and stumbled down the aisle towards my handsome groom. It was such a special and symbolic moment for me to share with my parents as they had supported me through so much in the past.

Since then my family has grown to include my husband’s relatives, some of who are Indian. Each year we all come together for Diwali and celebrate our blessings with family and friends.

There are many things that I was told I’d never do again; writing was one of them. But the continued support of my loved ones has helped me climb many a metaphorical mountain and pursue my passion for writing, including two books and now this article!

Indeed, the marvels of modern medicine kept my body alive while my family and friends kept my spirit alive—and still do today.

The post Modern medicine kept my body alive; family and friends kept my spirit alive appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

There is a certain aura that surrounds him. You cannot escape his piercing eyes, his glowing face, his energetic demeanour and his 1000 watt smile. His responses are spontaneous and unpretentious and yet there’s a charm about him that makes him endearing. Meet Robin Sharma, the man who lives on his own terms, and shows you how you too can do the same…

Manoj khatri: Let’s start with The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari. What inspired you to write such a book? Just like the protagonist, you too were a practising lawyer. So it seems to be an autobiographical account… are you the monk?

Robin Sharma: Yes, a lot of Julian Mantle’s story is my story. So you’re right. I was a litigation lawyer by profession. The challenge I faced was that I was living someone else’s life. I was living the life that society had sold me on the true meaning of success. I was well educated, I had a lovely office, I had two law degrees… and yet when I’d wake up in the morning, I’d feel completely empty and frustrated and disconnected with my purpose and my true values. So yes, Julian Mantle is me in many ways. Thankfully, I didn’t have a heart attack. But I went on my own odyssey and started searching—I wanted to understand what are the tools and what a life well lived is all about. And I made a profound transformation with what I learnt… about rewiring your mindset, rewiring your values and rewiring your behaviours. That’s what inspired me to write The Monk…

And it started as nothing more than a dream, I was laughed at. I think if you’re not being laughed at a lot, you’re not doing very much. I had a vision, and all I had going for me was my instinct, my gut. And I knew that people will be inspired by this book, they will connect with it and it will help transform them and help them become what they want to be. So I just went out there, step-by-step, sharing the message of the book with one person at a time. Soon the book started travelling around the world through word-of-mouth and it became what it is now.

Manoj khatri: Where did you learn the ‘rewiring’ part?

Robin Sharma: Well, you can say that I’m the product of every book I’ve ever read, every conversation I’ve ever had and every place I’ve ever been to. So everything has been my teacher. Suffering has been my teacher. Success has been my teacher. My kids have been my teacher. The taxi driver in Mumbai who told me that guests are God and that’s why he treats every single person as the most important in the world… he has been my teacher. So for The Monk… I got my inspiration from books, experiences and conversations and a lot of time just spent in solitude, in self-reflection.

Manoj khatri: It’s evident that The Monk… came about as a result of a transformation within you. And so did all the success afterwards. What does success mean to you?

Robin Sharma: I think that as we go more out into the world, it becomes even more important to stay alone. So what I try to do is spend most of my time with my family, my close friends, my team, my books, my journal… and in nature with my thoughts. I don’t watch a lot of TV. I don’t spend a lot of my time in restaurants. This way I stay connected with my core values and my core mission so that it doesn’t get diluted by the world around me. I think once you’re successful, what you want to do is protect your vision, conserve your energy and safeguard your values.

Manoj khatri: You seem to be absolutely clear about your priorities in life. But that’s what most people struggle with. They know that it’s important for them to give time to their families, their friends, their health and yet they seem to always put these lower in the list of priorities… many fear that they may not be able to fulfil their role as a good parent/spouse and so on unless they work hard and long. What advice do you have for those who are faced with such a dilemma?

Robin Sharma: Well, I say this with great respect, but most people haven’t made the time to think about what they want. And let’s go to the neurobiology behind this. It’s because we have a neurobiological instinct to follow what everyone else is doing. So, hundreds of years ago, when there was a threat of leaving the herd and being eaten by a cheetah, that instinct served us. But now we’re in Mumbai, Calcutta, or Chennai and we haven’t taken the time to think of what’s most important to us. We don’t know our own priorities; we don’t know our own values; we don’t have a vision. A lot of people say to me, “I’m too busy to do my vision.” But actually their busyness is just an addiction to mask the fact that they are really bored. If you don’t know what’s important to you then you’re going to have to fill the hours with too much TV and too much busyness. So how do you to avoid that? Number one, you do something as simple as planning. Take the time to write a one-page plan and ask yourself [I talk about it in my books] what five things must happen between now and the end of this year for this to be the best year you’ve ever had in your life. I call it my ‘big five.’ Every morning you look at your big five priorities and then you commit to them.

Number two, you look at your goals. How many people set goals for each quarter of the year and then build a schedule around advancing these goals? It’s all about the execution. People say, “Well, these ideas in The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari and The Leader Who Had No Title don’t work. But no idea works unless you do the work. So you’ve got to execute. Each day you’ve got to advance your priorities versus living the priorities of the world. You’ve got to turn off the TV or say no to every social engagement. You have to find a vision that burns inside you so much that you are willing to say NO to the entertainment, in order to manifest your vision. Study any great master and you’ll find that they didn’t spend the best hours of their days in distraction; instead they spent all their time pursuing their craft and their dream.

Manoj khatri: What is the biggest challenge to pursue your dream?

Robin Sharma: I think it is to leave the herd—it is one of the biggest challenges we face. We spend the best hours of our best days following the herd around us. And we think that just because most people spend their best hours watching TV, or sending text messages, we think this is how you live a life. And just because most people complain and give away their power, we think this is how you live. Yet, all masters and all leaders have one thing in common: they have the guts to leave the herd and live their life on their own terms—without any regard to what anyone else was doing.

Manoj khatri: Talking about leadership… how do you define it? And how can a leader strike a balance between her commercial goals and the human development aspect?

Robin Sharma: No matter what you do—run a company, make films or clean toilets—you can still show leadership. The number one way we give away our power is that we think we don’t have any. How many people say: I’m not the Managing Director or I’m not the boss so I can’t make a difference. I met a woman in South Africa, who washed people’s toilets and she thought hers was the most important job in the world. And she worked like Picasso painted. A job is only a job if we choose to see it as a job. All work has dignity, all work is noble. Whether you cook, you clean toilets, sweep streets, see it as a craft and see it as honourable. Make it better everyday. Inspire people by your mastery. So my message is: no matter what you do in your own work, see it as your craft and pursue mastering it everyday—because all work is a chance to express your creativity. All work is a chance for you to meet your fears and transcend them. All work is a chance for you to inspire other human beings. Therefore all work is chance for you to change the world.

Coming to your question… you asked how should leaders align the competing objectives business goals and the human responsibility. Well, I actually think they are not competing. The job of a leader is to grow more leaders. If you’re not inspiring the people around you and helping them do their best work, you’re not leading. But here’s my point. If you spend your days in inspiring and developing talent, encouraging the discouraged, helping them do what they never thought was possible… they are going to wow their customers, they’re going to be more productive, they’re going to meet their vision, they’re going to give their heart and soul to your business. What’s that going to do to the profitability?

Manoj khatri: I have not a single doubt that this is absolutely correct. But any transformation takes time—there is a lag between when you begin to do this and when it begins to show results. How does one develop faith?

Robin Sharma: Yeah, you’ve got to have the guts to believe in yourself when no one else believes in you. India is the land of the great Mahatma Gandhi. When he started the salt march, he was an army of one. All he had going for him was his conviction. And where does that come from? Sometimes you just don’t know. You just have to have a dream for your job, a dream for your life. And have the guts to connect with that. How do you stay true to that? Well, you write about it in your journal, which actually deepens your commitment. You get up early and you pray, meditate, visualise. Read great business books and autobiographies and stay inspired and block out negativity. When the critic says, “This will never work,” dismiss the critic. And if you get knocked down because you fail, you just get back up. And the more you do that, the stronger you get. And if you start advancing towards your vision everyday, you start to get some traction. You get some momentum. Like Gandhi… everybody who started following Gandhi empowered him and his vision. Right now, when I look at the global movement around The Monk… and The Leader… on social media, I get inspired to keep going. I could retire right now. So what’s keeping me going is that I’m starting to get more traction. More than ever before, people are saying to me they are making the transformation. So, step-by-step, when you start to get the results—which you eventually will, because success is a numbers game—you start to believe in your vision.

Manoj khatri: What are the five most important things you do to stay inspired and focused on your vision?

Robin Sharma: The first thing is just an idea: I’m not a victim. I show leadership. I don’t play victim and I own the results of my life. I take absolute responsibility. I’m not a cat or a dog. Victims make excuses. Leaders deliver results. If you look for excuses you’ll find them.

If you say, “I read The monk… but I can’t do it because I’m too busy paying my mortgage,” you will get to live out that excuse for the rest of your life. So it’s an idea but the more you think about it, the more it becomes a belief. Do not be a victim, show leadership and get big things done.

Second thing I do: I live in a bubble. I don’t want to live in a real world and I don’t live in a real world. Who wants to live in a real world? Because there, most people are victims, most people are negative. In the real world, most people gossip, and spend their best hours SMSing… I live in a bubble, a pristine bubble of absolute focus around positivity and getting my dreams done. What does that mean in practice? It means that I don’t really watch the NEWS. If someone’s negative, I walk away politely; my friends are positive; my home is inspiring; I love great books; I don’t read cheesy magazines; I don’t pollute my mind with toxic thoughts or influences because those will affect my inspiration, my ideas, my focus and my results.

Number three: Ideas without execution are a delusion. I plan, I schedule every morning. I’m meticulous about where my hours go. This is not just inspiration, this is tactical. I have a one-year plan and I have a five-year plan; I look at my plan every morning and I set a weekly plan. In that way, I execute, nearly flawlessly, all my goals for every quarter. Like a great business is all about strategic plans and execution, I have dreams but dreams without plans and sequencing don’t get done. So, become a master of planning, sequencing, execution and time management. The hours that ordinary people waste, excellent performers use. People say, I’m too busy.” Well, how many hours do you spend on SMS or on your smart phone?

Number four: I learn. The world belongs to learners. You look at Picasso, Jack Welch, Richard Branson, Lady Gaga… these people are students of their crafts. So if you look at any genius, they have one thing in common: they know more about their craft more than anyone in their field in the history of the world. I spend a lot of time listening to audio books, watching videos, reading, learning.

Number five: I love to journal. Journaling is when I reconnect with my vision, my values. I record the highlights of my day, so I pour gratitude via dopamine into my brain so I feel better. How do I stay inspired? Being inspired isn’t lucky. You ‘make’ inspired. You don’t discover success, you create success. My journal allows me to record my awareness so I stay very clear on what’s important. My journal allows me to notice the miracles of my day and allows me to learn and download the benefits and miracles that each day presents.

Manoj khatri: So what’s your typical day like?

Robin Sharma: The most consistent thing that I do is that I get up at 5am and I journal. That is the most consistent thing ever. I love having a cup of coffee… you know that its nature’s number one antioxidant and it boosts brain function? And with coffee, I write. I write about my victories, my gratitude, reconnect with my goals and how I’m feeling. And I always exercise first thing in the morning to kick-start my day. And then sometimes I do some meditation, but not consistently. The only consistent thing is the journaling, the exercising, and the reading.

Manoj khatri: Finally, what is your idea about the purpose of life?

Robin Sharma: I think on the last hour of our last day, when we look back and survey our life, what would have defined our life will not be the watch on our wrist, our social standing, the title on our business card and our net worth.

I suggest only two things will matter.

Number one: Who did you become? Were you fearless? Did you achieve a level of self mastery? Did you think great thoughts? Were you positive? Did you have excellent, strong character?

Number two: How many people did you help? How many lives did you touch? What value did you create through your creativity and productivity? In other words, did you leave the world better than you found it? My dad used to recite the words of the great Indian poet, Nobel laureate Rabindranath Tagore. He said to me, “Son, when you were born you cried while the world rejoiced. Well Robin, live your life in such a way that when you die, the world cries while you rejoice.”

So purpose is about remembering that before you know it, it will all be dust. It’s time to step up and do great work that will change the world. It’s time to use your life not just for your own selfish needs but to inspire other people and to create value for other people and to build A FANTASTIC WORLD. And just because other people don’t think like this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t, if you want to become the Picasso of your life.

Manoj khatri: That’s a beautiful thought. Thank you so much Robin, for sharing your inspiring ideas with us.

Robin Sharma: Thanks for the opportunity, Manoj.

The post “Victims make excuses. Leaders deliver results” — Robin Sharma appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Published by: Simon & Schuster

ISBN: 978-1476785462

Pages: 224

Price: INR 353

When we hear the word “creativity”, visions of paintings, poetry and music float through our minds, our conventional wisdom suggesting that it is a special gift. However, creativity expert Barnet Bain holds the view that everything we do is a process of creativity.

In The Book of Doing and Being, he walks us through a series of over 40 practical exercises while providing eye-opening insights into recognising and reactivating that spark we all possess, that we call creativity, no matter what our job involves.

This is a book best read in small doses. And reading alone is not enough. As the author suggests, the book can be a helpmate in our journey of rediscovering our creative self. Have a journal handy and jot down your thoughts as you work through the exercises in this book.

Starting with a call to become aware of our hurdles to creative expression, the author provides what he calls a Self-Inquiry Practice to help us identify if the barriers to our inspiration are hand-me-downs or self-imposed, i.e. more of a habit than a conscious choice. When we often trust popular culture to give us an understanding of our world, we diminish our originality and eventually suppress our inherent artistry.

Whether it is the way we care for the people we love, or how we brainstorm in a boardroom, we have an innate desire to improve the world in some way, based on our values. The author urges us to jot down a Life Wheel to serve as our values map—a tool for identifying our goals, desires and  priorities, not only in career and finances but also in family life, love life, health, relaxation and spirituality—represented as seven slices in this life wheel. As we tailor this wheel, reflecting on how much attention we would like to give to each slice, we are better able to recognise our deficit areas that need attention.

Life being what it is today, many of us get overwhelmed and stressed. We cope by conjuring up a mixture of thoughts and feelings that numb these powerful emotions, acting like anaesthetics. We learn this numbing mechanism at a young age and rely on it to handle feelings that overpower us. The four emotional anaesthetics—self-pity, blame, guilt and control—work to undermine our creative self. However, if we are cognizant of this fact, we can certainly learn to thrive under distress.

Neuroplasticity, the ability of our brain to form new neural connections at any stage in life, allows us to compensate for injury and disease and reclaim our functions. Similarly, the author proposes Creative Plasticity, an imaginative malleability that welcomes and enhances creative flow. The four exercises in this chapter essentially serve to rewire the brain through relaxation. Be it mindful breathing to promote alpha brain waves, or a nap, or a nature walk, or a sojourn at a favourite body of water, we can all find what relaxes us and helps us refocus. Another practical and easily doable exercise for rewiring is to change our routine—write with the non-dominant hand, drink beverage from a different utensil than the preferred one, sleep on a different side of the bed, sit at a different spot at the family dining table, take a new route to work. By approaching common things a bit differently, we can rekindle the flames of creativity.

In the chapter, “Engaging the Muses”, we encounter the nine Olympian muses—not the relics of made-up ancient world, but the creative forces that are outside our structured, logical framework. The muses await invitation. Despite the obstructions that hold us back, if we are willing to move forward and are raring to go, the muses will accept our invitation to co-create, working with our subconscious intelligence. Even if we don’t believe in Thalia, the keeper of joyous humour, or her counterpart Melpomene, the protector of tragedy, we can certainly extend the idea of the muses to mean that we are inclined to give laughter a chance, and that we are prepared to face adversity with courage.

Barnet Bain notes that, “when the dynamism of doing comes together with the receptivity of being, creative innovation cannot be stopped.”

The Book of Doing and Being ends with urging us to be brave and to “let go”—of a job, an identity or a way of being or relating, especially when it is difficult and full of complaints. The fear of what we could lose by letting go of the familiar is not easily offset by the promise of where we think creativity can take us. As a reassurance, the author acknowledges that creativity is a gift—a gift that is given to everybody, if we are open to receiving it.

This was first published in the January 2016 issue of Complete Wellbeing

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One day at a cocktail party which had many other writers attending, Isaac Asimov asked someone, “When will you be publishing your next book, Miss Coolidge?” “When,” Miss Coolidge wryly replied, “will you not be publishing your next book, Mr. Asimov?”

Asimov was an eminent scholar and one of the most published authors of the 20^th century. Although he is renowned for his great repertoire of sci-fi writings, he authored well-written books in almost all the categories of Dewey Decimal System of library classification—from religion and languages to pure sciences and even arts. He also wrote about 90,000 letters and postcards in his lifetime. He received tremendous recognition and his works won him several prestigious awards including many lifetime achievement awards.

How could he write so much so well and on so many varied subjects? What was the source of energy and ideas of this prolific writer? What was his secret? I believe what kept Asimov going right till the end of his life was his enthusiasm.

Everything that anyone has ever done well can be attributed to his or her enthusiasm. Enthusiasm is a power; we can use this power to achieve whatever we imagine for ourselves. Inspirational keynote speaker and Hall of Fame broadcaster Sonny Melendrez tells you how to access this power in this month’s cover story.

Using examples from his own life and of others, he illustrates how enthusiasm takes you from dreaming about a good life to living it. “When you truly believe in what you see, your vision begins to take on a life of its own. People, resources and circumstances will begin to appear,” he says as he shares the six elements that unleash the full force of fervour. He suggests ways in which you can bring enthusiasm into your everyday life and also offers advice on how to enthuse your team members.

The story is lucid and packed with wisdom. But words only inspire; action is up to you. And unless you use the insights and put into practise the author’s suggestions, your life will not change. As 2015 comes to an end, how about stocking up on the vibrant power of enthusiasm so that when the New Year arrives, you march into it with the confidence to achieve your most cherished goals?

The post December 2015 issue: The power of enthusiasm appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

The extraordinary transformation of Adnan Sami is the stuff that inspiring stories are made of. He lost a whopping 130 kilos in a span of one year — a feat that few can imagine, leave alone achieve.

Manoj Khatri interviewed Adnan Sami to find out how he did it and what was his experience of going from fat to fit. Here are the excerpts from the interview with the award-winning singer-music composer:

What is obesity? How serious is it? How does it affect a person?

Adnan Sami: It is very serious, but I did not know the seriousness of obesity till my nutritionist told me.

When I signed up for losing weight, they did a lot of tests on me to check my reaction to various foods. What I realised is that it’s all in the mind. Everything you think and do affects your health. For some people, even if they smell food they put on weight [like me].

Every person reacts differently to different foods, and situations. Nutritionists analyse all your habits as a person – physical, physiological and emotional. They make you change your lifestyle, and do not make you feel that you are on a diet.

It was a tough call for me. I was put on a no-sugar, no-rice, no-bread, no-oil diet; only high protein. They asked me questions like, “What do you do when you are sad, or happy.” My answer to both was: “I eat!” I associated food with every emotion. It was difficult then. I had no self-control. When I was depressed, I used to eat and then feel guilty, and again eat. It was a vicious cycle. It was difficult to get out of this. You lose confidence.

There is another important factor that my nutritionist pointed out. Obesity can be genetic [disorder] and that is what people don’t understand. They simply pass comments like, “Ah, what a careless person.” But people are genetically different and that is also true for their eating habits. We know some people who eat a lot, but still do not put on weight, and for some, eating small portions also amounts to a lot of calories [their body makes a mountain of a molehill]. The body set-up and chemistry is different for each person, and it reacts in a different way to every food.

Obesity is as much a disease as any other physical disorder. Today, people are sensitive and sympathetic towards those who suffer from drug or alcohol addiction, but they don’t realise that obesity is as serious an addiction. which is why people go to rehabs or controlled-environment farms. But, what happens is that you follow those rules only till you are there; the moment you are out, you go out and party, and start hogging.

People look down upon obese individuals and make fun of them. You don’t make fun of a person’s physical disability—if they’re handicapped, blind, short, tall; it’s not their fault. This is true for obesity, too. Many times, for most people, especially for those who are morbidly obese, it is not that they are just over-indulgent, but they seriously have a mental/physical problem. Hence, people need to be made aware and educated as there is a lot of ignorance about this aspect.

The first few weeks are always the most difficult. Can you share your experience when you started your weight loss programme?

Adnan Sami: For the first month-and-an-half or so, I went through serious withdrawals—just like any person with an addiction goes through. There are so many things that we take for granted. For example, we walk into the kitchen, open the fridge, and just stare at it. We have nothing better to do, so we indulge. It’s all calories. To discourage me, my mom stuck two fridge magnets—one right on the handle saying, “STOP! FAT HERE!” —like a traffic sign. The other said: “A Moment on the Lips, Forever on the Hips.”

In the US today, obesity is acknowledged as a certified disease. So, they treat it with seriousness. It is a huge problem in the US, the most obese nation in the world. India is not far away. People in India are unaware, and it is time that they start taking care. Because the US is aware of the obesity problem, there is a parallel diet food industry that runs there. Today, you will find a diet solution to every kind of food. You even have one per cent [fat] milk there.

Coming back to your question, my nutritionist came up with all possible options for me to snack. Rather than grabbing potato chips and going crazy with them, I could have home-made popcorn without butter, may be with a little salt. She asked me whether I liked ice-cream. I looked at her and said, “Hey look at me and get serious. Do I look like the kind of person who doesn’t like Ice-Cream?” [laughs]. She said, “OK fine, whenever you feel hungry, or you are watching a movie, instead of having a chocolate ice-cream, grab diet fudge sticks [they are made of fudge chocolate], but they have only 30 calories. You also get a lot of diet ice lollies which have only 20 calories; soft drinks with one calorie with different flavours.” I suddenly discovered a whole new world. So, whenever I had those cravings, I grabbed these things and they helped me pull along the initial stages. By the time I was ready to come back to Mumbai [after three months], I was following a diet regime which I had settled into. After that, when the scale starts talking to you, and starts coming down, it gives you encouragement and energy.

What has been people’s reaction to your weight loss?

Adnan Sami: A lot of times people say to me, “Oh my gosh, you have lost 130 kilos. Why didn’t you do it before?” But, they don’t understand that if I could have, I would have. The point is, first of all, it took me Herculean strength to build up the courage and the mental strength to go through such a task. Frankly, in the beginning, I didn’t think I was up to the job. I saw this huge mountain in front of me and said: “How the hell am I going to climb it?” At that time, I had tried [to diet] and failed so many times. I would break my resolve within a week’s time! The kind of profession I am in, there is always something or the other happening. There are parties, functions to attend, we travel a lot, and it was difficult to stick to the diet.

Did obesity affect your professional life? If yes, how?

Adnan Sami: Oh, yes, it did, absolutely. Take travel, for instance. In my profession, airports figure very prominently as we have to travel a lot. There was a time when I used to love travelling a lot, because I have grown up in that kind of atmosphere, where we have lived in different parts of the world. We have travelled extensively, exploring new cities. But, a point came when travelling became my biggest mental block—my biggest fear and nightmare—because of the big airports where there is a lot of walking involved and I used to hate it. Not being able to travel was affecting my profession.

I couldn’t fit into the chair of the aircraft. My biggest fear used to be: will I be able to fit into that aircraft chair? It was so frightening for me. Then I began to choose airlines where I would still feel a little bit comfortable as they had bigger seats. Then a point came when even in those I was starting to barely fit. I had to make an effort, and hold my breath to sink in. There was even an occasion where I didn’t fit into a seat in the first class and so I had to shift to Economy and pull up the middle armrest and use two seats together. It was very upsetting and embarrassing. Then I used to weep within myself and wonder what I have got myself into. Even then, I wouldn’t be able solve it.

I had to [then] use a wheel chair at the airport and a time came when I used to not fit in airport wheel chairs because they were too small for me. So, I had to get a wheel chair custom-made, which used to travel with me wherever I went. If I had to walk [I am talking about the last stage before I went on diet] I had to use a walking stick. A lot of people thought I was making it up. But, the fact of the matter is that I actually had a walking stick. My legs had become so weak that they couldn’t carry my weight. It was really terrible, terrible.

Where did you derive your emotional and mental strength from, especially during the period when you were consciously losing weight?

Adnan Sami: When you have a sword hanging over your head—the doctors had given me the ultimatum that, “We give you six months, that’s it”—it’s inspiration enough. I had tremendous support from my family: my father, brother, mother. They held my hand through it all, and it couldn’t have happened without them. They were there for me 24×7. I remember when I lost my first 5-10 kilos, all of them were like, “Wow, you look so different,” and I looked in the mirror saying “From where? What are they talking about?” They’d say, “I tell you, those trousers, they look a little bit loose from here,” and I used to wonder, “May be, I can’t see it.” But, that really worked for me. When I would have a craving they used to say, “Hey, listen you are here, it has already begin to show; now you can’t stop it,” and that used to keep me from giving it up. So, my family encouraged me tremendously.

They were also with me in tangible ways. Like in the beginning, I was not in a position to exercise. I was too big for that. The initial exercise we used to do was to arrive at a shopping mall and I used to walk five steps, then stop and continue. During those five walking steps, my father and brother would be right next to me, to support me in case I lost balance. My legs had become so weak, that suddenly I would have a spasm and my legs would suddenly say, “No!” They were standing next to me to take care, in case I plummet. For me, even standing was an exercise.

What was your state of mind just before you determined to get rid of obesity?

Adnan Sami: At the time when I was given the ultimatum [May 2006], it took me a lot between then and the first week of July to mentally condition myself to do this. My initial reaction was, “Okay, well if this is it, I cannot control it. If I have to go, everybody has to go someday.” I didn’t have the courage. I believed that I couldn’t do it. I had tried it so many times earlier and I had become so addicted to it. You will not believe, I was given the ultimatum and I went straight after that consultation and hogged at a buffet. That was the reaction. Initially, I didn’t want to even face the truth. My reaction was, “Ha, what a melodramatic doctor! I am not going to die because of eating, what does he know!” But, deep inside my heart, I knew whatever he said was so right because I knew how I was living. I knew I couldn’t sleep, or even lie down on the bed. I was sleeping on the sofa, sitting posture. As a result, I developed lymphodoema [swelling of the legs], water retention, my body was swollen, and my legs were “blown” because the blood was not pumping up properly. I was in a bad state.

You know, there are two types of fat, one which is just beneath the skin and one underneath the muscle. The fat that I had developed beneath the muscle was dangerous; it had started to push into my diaphragm and ultimately ended up pushing into my lungs. So, breathing became very difficult for me, which is why I couldn’t lie down. As I would lie down, it would automatically push up and get into my lungs causing difficulty in breathing. As a result, I had to get up and allow gravity to pull it down. I also became an asthmatic, and this was really a nightmare.

I remember speaking to my dad that this is it. “Dad, listen, I just wanted you to know that I have lived my life and enjoyed everything. So, if I go there should be no regrets, because I have lived life a king and enjoyed every indulgence in the world.” Imagine my father listening to this nonsense from his son. He didn’t pay attention to what I said. He just shook me up, and said, “Damn you, I am not going to take this. I am not listening to this nonsense; you are going to get out of this. You have been through all kinds of trials and tribulations and have come out of it, and you have been a fighter all through. I am not going to let you go down like this. You are going to give me six months of your life. Today, I am exercising my right as a father to order you to give me six months. You are not doing anything else; otherwise, I am walking out of your life.”

So, he gave me an ultimatum of a different kind. Then, we started negotiating. I said I can’t give six months, I have work to do. He said, “Work can go to hell. How will you work without your health?” He was right. Ultimately, we negotiated it down to three months. He put a condition: “For these three months, there’s no work or anything else. You are going to forget the world and solely be there for me.”

I went to Houston and shut myself from the world. The night before I was to hand over my diet to the nutritionist, she turned to me and said, “All right, tonight you will have your last indulgent meal and after that you will follow whatever I am saying.” So, she said go out there and eat whatever you want for the last time. I remember I had a huge feast that day. I call that my “last supper”. The next day, I started. And, the rest is history.

When did you begin to feel “it’s working!”?

Adnan Sami: Initially, I couldn’t exercise, it was only diet. So, for the first two months it was only dieting and just doing very minor walks. It was only after I lost my first 40 kilos that I was in a position to start doing the treadmill. To be honest, I did not feel that I could run even 100 metres, but I began to realise little things like I could lie down. Initially, I could lie down only with the help of pillows at the back where I’d stretch my legs and needed help getting into and out of the bed. So, I started noticing small changes like I could lie down, sleep longer, my sleep apnoea was beginning to disappear slowly, I could stand longer [Hey, I got up on my own today. I didn’t need two people to help me out]. It was very gradual. Then, as I moved forward, things began to get better and better.

Today, I play tennis and squash. I love travelling again and don’t have to travel by Economy. I don’t need belt extensions any more. Earlier, the belts didn’t fit me. These are things you don’t even think of. I used to get a belt extension and even that used to be at its tail-end. I used make that bigger sometimes. So, now, I don’t need them. Basically, I can lead a normal life. These are things that we take for granted, but they did happen to me, and it was terrible. Recently, I was in Malaysia and I even went sailing and had a great time. I am enjoying it. Sometimes you have to reach rock-bottom to come back, because you can’t go any further.

If I were to ask you to divide in terms of percentage, how much was it mental and how much physical?

Adnan Sami: 70 per cent is mental; only 30 per cent physical/physiological. So, I think it is more mental than physical. Our body has enough reserves to go without food. Most of the times, our mind controls the stomach.

There are occasions when your stomach is sending you a signal that I am full, but your eyes are saying: one more. Wo kahte hain na, pet ki bhuk khatam ho gayi par aankhon ki nahi [It is said that stomach’s hunger may end but the eyes are still hungry]. It’s exactly that. Your eyes and mind are tempting you whereas your stomach is saying, “Hey, hang on, I am full, I cannot take it,” and your mind says, “Shut up, I am sending it down, so deal with it! I am sure you will find a place…do something, negotiate with your intestines and create some space, but I want that damn thing down!” That is another problem we face: the mind and the body are two separate things, and are often not in agreement.

After I started my weight loss programme, attending parties became a nightmare. Imagine going to a party where you can’t eat or drink! I used to sit there with a glass of water. Initially I felt weird about it. I didn’t want to tell people about my diet. Nobody ever imagined at a party that I am sitting there with a glass of water. People used to walk up to me and say, “Oh, since when did you switch to vodka?” They could never perceive that I could be standing with a glass of water, because I usually would have Scotch or something. became sick of that and if anybody asked I would say, yes I am having vodka.

Yet another problem was when I went to somebody’s house for dinner. Our culture is such: “You’ve hardly eaten anything. Here, have some more,” and things like that. I used to keep a huge pile of food on my plate and the host would look and say, “He is going to have a good time today.” Then I would quietly put the plate away without so much as a bite. And, if anybody asked, I would say, “Didn’t you see? I finished off my plate” They used to agree because they saw me with full plate a while ago. But, to have the ability to put it away is difficult, and that’s where the mental strength comes in. So, yes, 70 per cent of the effort was mental.

As far as the body is concerned, it does not suddenly get into spasms and say [makes a desperate face], “No, I need that brownie, now!” The body has plenty of reserves.

Physical changes are evident. But, in what ways has the experience changed you mentally, emotionally and spiritually?

Adnan Sami: Spiritually, I look at this as a second lease of life from God. My faith and belief in God has become more profound. It is said that God helps only those who help themselves—it could not have been truer than this situation. I tried, I worked hard, and God helped me. I feel that my effort could’ve lost me only five kilos; my belief is that God helped me lose the rest. I feel that God has rewarded me. It is not just the question of losing 130 kg, but doing it in a year’s time is an effort worth considering.

Emotionally, it has made me much stronger. It has also pumped in the most amazing amount of positive energy. It has made me believe that there is so much that one can achieve. Physically, too, it has made me more confident and amazingly more energetic.

I feel more in control of my life. I feel that I have my life back—the reins of my life are back in my hands. I am not anymore on board some kind of a runaway train which is out of control. This is an important factor for confidence.

I can be more spontaneous now. A small example: earlier, if my friends suggested that we go out to eat at a restaurant, I wasn’t sure whether I will be comfortable there. I thought: what kind of chairs would they have, do they have chairs with armrest, or are they armless?; what if I don’t fit in them, I don’t want to walk out feeling embarrassed. These were the questions that came to my mind. I would agree only after confirming that the restaurant we were visiting had an armless chair, and if they don’t, they would organise one. This may be a very small thing, but everything became a managed affair, a production. If I went for rehearsals, my chair would go before me, because I did not fit in those plastic ones they have. I didn’t feel free. I couldn’t travel alone. I needed a helper with me. I had become subservient to my physicality.

Today, if somebody has to suggest, “Let’s go, and check out that place,” my response is, “Hey I am game, let’s go!” Today, I can get up and do whatever I want.

We take a lot of these things for granted and only realise their value when we are deprived of them. One more important thing is that you begin to value life. Today, I value every single thing that I am able to do, which I couldn’t do before. Sometimes you value those things that are suddenly snatched away from you. Today, I value being able to walk into any store and find my size. Recently, I was in Kuala Lumpur and I loved the fact that I could walk into any designer store and pick up anything I liked. The funny thing was that in the past my size was 6X, and that size is not available anywhere, apart from those special plus-size stores and those were a handful in the States. So, everything was tailor-made for me. Even the tailor would require two tapes to measure me. So, whenever I would walk into any store and was lucky enough to find my size [and, 6X was the last size available], I would pick up anything, even if I didn’t like it. That mental habit had become so apparent in my mind that I used to buy five of them, instead of one.

So now when I went to Kuala Lumpur, and I liked something, I was automatically picking five pieces. My wife said, “No, you don’t need to, buy something else instead.” I still insisted on buying five. She said forget, change that, you don’t need to do that anymore. It took me a while to accept that I could actually do that.

I met my dad recently and complimented him on one of his shirts. He said “Listen, just try it if you like it.” My reaction was, “Dad, are you crazy? Me fitting into your clothes?” He said, “Yes, you should be.” I tried it and, wonder of wonders, I actually fit into my “normal father’s normal shirt!”

Even today, when I see some new shirt, and get about to try it on, my first reaction is, “No way, it’s too small for me. I won’t fit in it.” Because, I had been so used to those big, huge ones. And, suddenly when it fits, I feel: Wow!

It’s a whole new world, and I feel great about it.

What would be your advice to our readers who are struggling to overcome a health challenge?

Adnan Sami: Two things: one, regardless of what your ailment is, always consult a professional, before you take any step. Go to the expert. Don’t think that because Adnan Sami did this, it will work for me. Your body is different and may react differently. You need to find out from the expert what the issue is. Consult the relevant expert.

Two, if I can do it, anybody can. Because, I never thought I can do it. I am a living, breathing example of mind over matter.

Everybody, including me, had written me off. I proved to everyone, including me, wrong. If I can overcome it, anybody can.

The post Adnan Sami shares his weight loss journey (Interview) appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.