Maldives

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Nothing can adequately prepare you for your first glimpse of Maldives from the skies. An archipelago of a thousand tiny island lagoons, scattered like gems over an exquisite ocean, as if a giant hand had dispersed them in these foaming waters.

A palette of vibrant colours

The Indian Ocean is a throbbing curtain of colour here—the most stunning turquoise blue and emerald green, swirling amidst powder white sands. The air is moist and warm; it’s breath like a perfumed caress of dozens of exotic blooms, as though it were specially created to invigorate the jaded city soul.

As twilight envelopes the islands, patches of violet, even deep orange stain the waters, like a cubist painting. I am so overwhelmed by the beauty and I can understand how Maldives became synonymous with peace, serenity and calm.

This is perhaps the only destination in the world in which one has to take a ferry boat from the airport to reach the hotel, instead of a taxi. The ride is picturesque, to say the least. The speedboat chops its way through the still waters and within minutes, we land at our hotel, which is a series of independent villas built across a shallow lagoon.

For miles, as far as the eye can see, the waters are a crystal blue and so clear that you can view the ocean bed. Bits of coral wash up on the powdery clean sands.

Beautiful creatures everywhere

As I arrive at my hotel and alight from my boat, I catch sight of a baby shark, swimming close to the shores. The baby sharks are harmless, the boatmen tell us, as we glance at the tiny black fin in trepidation. They love the shallow waters but shun human company. Within minutes, the fish melts away into the shadows.

Later, playing in the sandbox that is adjacent to our villa, my daughter is excited as she spots a huge white pelican, its beak heavily laid down with a fat fish.

As we gaze at the sea, colourful tropical fish swim by in schools, their movements as rapid as quicksilver as they dart through the waters. Swordfish, with their quaint snouts, so thin and sharp, dart around us. There is a raw primal energy about Maldives that will captivate you. It could be the presence of a whole new world underwater that is so alluring, or the fact that the islands are bewitching, almost as if you’ve crossed the threshold to another magical realm.

Wellness is in the air

As we relax in the lounge of our resort, before we are taken to our rooms, I can feel the stillness of the island and its calm beauty seep into my soul. Everywhere I turn, there are swaying palms and lustrous white sands. Maldives is a rejuvenating retreat, unlike any other—and not just because of the natural beauty of its surroundings.

The very atmosphere of the island nation is conducive for a wellness holiday. Hurry, worry and curry have often been credited to cause all the illnesses characteristic of our era. However, this is conspicuously absent in the Maldives culture. Here, everyone has a sense of purpose, but there isn’t that tearing need to rush. The result is refreshing—a glorious laid back land, filled with efficient and industrious people.

Himanyu, our butler, seems an ideal example of this. I ask him for his surname, but he shakes his head and smiles. Most Maldivians, I learn, are referred to only by their first names, so much so, that the surname is never required. This, I understand, is an indication of the utterly informal atmosphere that widely prevails here. It’s also a strong statement of individuality.

Time seems to have slowed down considerably amidst these glowing white sands. And perhaps because of this, you feel a true Robinson Crusoe-like connection with the sea.

Sensual delights

Every minute on this island strengthens and rejuvenates. Our days are spent indulging in spa treatments, enjoying the great variety of watersports and sipping exotic mocktails by the beachfront.

Relax

Ayurveda is practiced extensively on most of these islands, perhaps because of the proximity to Trivandrum [a 50-minute flight away from Male’s Hulhule International Airport]. These sand bars have also provided the ideal setting for many a popular yoga sequence on video.

Vinyasa yoga [swift movements that are co-ordinated with the natural flow of your breathing,] is especially ideal in this natural setting. Harmonising the inner flow of our beings with the greater Universe around us is so much easier to comprehend when surrounded by the vast ocean of water and sand, spread out before a crystal clear sky.

The best treatments by far at the hotel spa are the Indian head massage, called the Champi [which makes generous use of Ayurvedic oils with deft and deeply relaxing strokes], and the pada mardana or the Indian foot massage, a sublime massage performed on the soles of your feet, which are said to activate the principles of reflexology.

Other islands in Maldives offer unique therapies as well. We heard of the new sleep spa concept introduced by the Iru Fushi Beach & Spa resort. The programme, entitled ‘Sweet Dreams’ was created with the single-minded goal of helping you relax and re-discover your natural sleep rhythms while on holiday. All treatments have been designed to put guests in a deeper state of relaxation.

Rejuvenate

Aromatherapy is widely practiced on the island, one of the tenets that are believed to promote well-being of both body and mind. At my resort, I am delighted to discover bottles of sea moss, perfect for a hot bath. The label encourages me to transform my bath into a “marine hydrotherapy experience.”

Guaranteed to relieve me of stress and cure me of any aches and pains, it was made of a host of natural ingredients from the sea—red and brown seaweed, horse chestnut extracts, clay from the ocean bed, minerals and vitamins—all of which help flush out the toxins and rejuvenate the skin.

It is soon obvious that most experiences in the Maldives are attuned to promoting wellness and relieving you of stress.

Waves of pleasure

One activity that is common to all the islands in the Maldives is the exquisite water sports and nothing else can quite bring back one’s zest for life!

Catamaraning is an exciting option, and as luck would have it, the sea was smooth as glass when we ventured out. I understand it can get pretty rough and tumble on some days, like a rollercoaster without the seat belts or safety bars! Our boatman manipulated the waves with great ease and expertise—you can see how much dexterity and skill goes into this sport as the sails have to be adjusted every few minutes in order to effectively catch the wind so that you can ride the waves.

As the catamaran glides comfortably in the waters, I am fascinated because I can see right down to the bottom of the shallow ocean bed. The tropical fish are oblivious of our existence, but they are a part of the rich tapestry of these waters.

I am anxious to explore further. So that afternoon, we take a joy ride on a submarine.

An unforgettable experience

Once you’ve reached the small submarine base and purchased tickets, you’ll be in for a treat of a lifetime. The powerful submarine can hold over 60 people. As we plunge into the underbelly of the ocean, I am reminded of all the sci-fi thrillers, in which man explores an alternative habitat after the world has been polluted beyond recognition!

And indeed, the ocean world seems a prospective option, so full of freshness and promise. For nearly an hour, our submarine explores the clear oceans as we gradually sink over 100ft into the deep. It’s a surreal experience. Through a large glass window, we see the most alluring rainbow medley of corals—pink, purple, green and yellow. What is even more breathtaking is the life that these corals support.

Tiny fish dressed in unusual colours, lush tropical plants, sea anemones and mini-octopus, with their glowing tentacles, even a sea snake that glides by menacingly, but at the last moment, decides to dart back into its crevice; these are the plethora of images, the treasures of the Maldivian sea that are forever etched in my memory.

If you’re feeling adventurous, savour the amazing snorkelling and deep sea diving experience and you’ll have a chance to witness this fascinating underwater world more up close. Though the waters may appear serene, don’t be deceived. You’ll still need to heed the safety instructions carefully and wear your life support gear.

As I head back, I take home many things [see box]. But most important of them all are memories of an exotic paradise, with wellbeing and rejuvenation the heartbeat of its very existence.

This was first published in the October 2009 issue of Complete Wellbeing.

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Whenever you seek to do things differently—including the last minute improvising and altering of ordinary, everyday situations—you are being creative.

Creativity can give you the edge you need in a world that is wracked with difficulties and intense competition. It can solve your problems, make your career more fulfilling, your relationships more enjoyable and those long Sunday afternoons and damp rainy days more lively and vibrant.

‘By thinking out-of-the-box you’ll achieve your full potential,’ says Mary C Murdock, co-author of Creative Problem Solving and Role Playing. Latest studies prove that the ability to think out-of-the-box is a skill that we can develop.

Here are some interesting ways to nurture your creativity, regardless of your age, profession, and social standing.

1. Do the same things differently

Changing one’s routine is essential and even the smallest of change can make a difference. If you’re a late riser, wake up early for a week; change the traditional straight-back chair in your office to a swivel seat; try playing a usual game of golf with a different club.

Go out for lunch if you’re always bringing home-made food. And if you’re constantly surfing the net or watching television, look for alternative activities.

‘Change your focus; if you’re visually-oriented, pay attention to smells or if your typical action is logical, try being emotional or intuitive for a change,’ suggests Roger Von Oech, author of the best-seller, A Whack in the Side of the Head: How You Can Be More Creative. Shaking up your routine helps you find creative solutions that you may not have explored otherwise.

It can also expel boredom from your life. So whether it’s packing a present with an unusual bow layered with chocolate or hard candy, or deciding to buy shoe-laces in shocking pink or green, you really have stumbled upon a creative gene!

2. Quell the inner critic

Often it is our own inner voice that discourages us from doing anything differently. For instance, you may not have considered yourself an athletic person, but if you do try your hand at a sport, you might just enjoy it.

To silence your inner critic, challenge yourself and constantly push the envelope when it comes to developing new talent and skills. This involves enrolling in activities you’ve always been interested in, but never thought you were good at.

If you can’t draw or sketch, take a quick tutorial online and try out the basic sketches. Step out of your comfort zone to create a new dimension to your personality.

3. Take on unusual hobbies

An unusual hobby that requires time and attention allows your creativity to surface. Explore the possibility of taking up something achievable and yet different—such as bonsai culture, collecting unique [and meaningful] trinkets from around the world for a charm bracelet, signing up for a pottery class and setting up a post-card collection… unusual hobbies challenge the mind and build your cerebral forces.

4. Be spontaneous on a trip

Whether it’s mountain climbing or scuba diving, attempt different activities without actually planning for them.

For instance, when you are exploring a city on a vacation, break your routine for some unusual activities such as hot-air ballooning, exploring the countryside on a bike or enjoying road-side tea. An unpredictable holiday where you discover lesser-known joys is sure to rejuvenate you more than a regular run-of-the-mill break, flooding you with fresh, novel ideas.

5. Play mind games

‘Creativity is a skill’, said the late former president of Princeton Creative Research, Eugene Raudsepp. ‘And like any skill, if you don’t practise it, it atrophies.’ Playing mind games, either individually or in a group, will ensure that your creativity keeps thriving.

There are many ways to do this. You can put up an ideas board in your room and jot down random thoughts and ideas every day. You can also start a blog and write about anything that comes to mind. You could also fill a shoe-box with unusual or interesting articles that inspire you or plan for future projects and creative goals that you want to reach.

Have a group session with friends. Ask someone to start a story and others in the group to continue telling it, retaining the same characters and setting. You’ll be surprised at how everyone’s creativity sparks a number of twists in the tale.

Also, challenge each other to come up with original proverbs, an alternative name and designation [if you were to change your original one] or how they would react in unusual and funny situations. Another mind-sharpening exercise involves thinking of off-beat uses for everyday objects.

For instance, can you guess alternative uses of a pen? It could be an antenna, a magic wand or even a walking stick for a doll. The objective of this exercise is to be as imaginative as you can.

The post Creative workshop appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Yet, he’d granted a colleague an entire week to attend a marriage just the day before. That’s when I knew I had a decision to make—quit my job or learn to deal with his brand of favouritism.” Ramesh opted for the latter. Quitting would’ve been easy,” remembers Ramesh. “And there was always the possibility that I would encounter such a person in my new workplace as well. I had to face the problem head-on.”

It’s not your fault

At any age, dealing with someone who is flagrantly partial is difficult. This is because every time we encounter such people, our self-esteem takes a beating, says psychologist and counsellor K Sreesudha, head of the Chennai Counselling Center.

“When people you know are really aggressive or hard on you, for no other reason than that they have taken an irrational dislike to you, understand that it’s not your fault,” she says.

This sort of behaviour indicates that they are insecure about themselves or in some cases, even jealous of you. You may be threatening them on some sub-conscious level. And this isn’t limited to the workplace alone.

The mother-in-law who just never gives you a chance and who seems to feel her daughter or son is more worthy, parents who favour a sibling over you, the teacher who always found a way to condemn—all these people in positions of authority tend to wrongly assert themselves.

How to react?

Ignore it: Ramesh’s strategy to deal with his situation involved two important steps—first, he learnt to not take such comments and criticism to heart, no matter how unjust it all was. Secondly, he ensured that his efficiency improved manifold.

Do better: “When someone is so obviously assaulting you with the intention of putting you out of commission, it’s up to you to guarantee that your anger is under control and that your performance is flawless,” says Bangalore-based counsellor P Usha.

Keep quiet: “Your aggressor will want a reaction from you and it would please him/her immensely if you gave in to that temptation. Rise above it and you would have made them feel small and furious, says Usha.”

The best thing to do in such situations, she recommends, is to keep your cool and simply walk away. “If it’s your employer or supervisor who is being partial, just listen to his criticism. Don’t react. As long as you know that you’ve done your work well, just don’t let it bother you.”

Speak up, don’t fight: “You’ll need to be more resilient and have a greater strength of mind to deal with this,” advises Dherandra Kumar, a clinical and child psychologist associated with the Department of Psychology, Jamia Millia Islamia University in New Delhi.

“Understand that there are some things that you can change and some that you cannot. “Weigh the pros and cons of the situation. Will it be worth speaking out? If you decide to confront someone with their partiality, avoid being aggressive or negative.

You can be assertive and stand up for your rights, but the minute you get aggressive, the focus will shift from the issue of partiality to your own bad behaviour.”

Learn to accept it: If you cannot change things, learn to accept the situation as a part of life. “Has there been a society without partiality or favouritism in its relationships?” asks Kumar.

“Take a look at ancient history: This vice has been prevalent even since the times of the Ramayan and the Mahabharat!” Understanding that this is very widespread should help you tolerate the stress caused by someone’s rejection of you.

Meditate: If you’re still having trouble dealing with this, meditation can prove to be a healing aid. Spirituality can help you channel your thoughts in a positive direction so that you don’t dwell on the unjustness of any situation, rather, help yourself rise above it.

Coping strategies

If you’ve been deeply affected by partiality, here are some suggestions that will help you heal:

• Get a life. Cultivate new friendships and hobbies that will lead you to richer, better experiences.
• Move on. Don’t dwell on another’s ill-treatment of you, no matter how tempting it may seem to condemn it or talk about it endlessly. This will only serve to frustrate you further. Put it entirely out of your mind and keep yourself focussed firmly on the future instead of the past.
• Build confidence. “Don’t let favouritism undermine your confidence or destroy your spirit,” says Sreesudha. Keep driving yourself with more personal goals and worthy ambitions. Every goal you achieve—even on a small one—will automatically boost your confidence.
• Stop comparing. Remember, every one has a unique personality. Even the fingers of your own hand are different from one another. Resist the urge to compare and this will stop favouritism in its infancy.

Favouritism in the family

If you have ever felt left out within your family circle, especially as a child, it could have been a devastating experience with long-standing effects on your psyche—more than when you experience favouritism at the workplace with complete strangers. This is because the offender is someone you love, and that can hurt you more.

“My paternal grandmother was blatantly partial to my brother. She believed that the son is the child of the family, while the daughter is just a drain on the resources,” says Anita Satyajit, a writer.

“As a result, every act of mine was termed insolent and I was deemed a rude child while my brother’s antics were laughed at indulgently. Thanks to her behaviour, I grew up very competitive with boys and constantly feeling inadequate as a person.”

Anita’s relationship with her grandmother took a toll on her, emotionally. “Even as an adult I was overly sensitive to people’s words and comments and used to inadvertently end up seeking their approval. I didn’t realise how deep a problem her constant belittling of me had sown in my life, till I found myself being unnecessarily defensive.

The after-effects of growing up with my grandmother had made me hyper-sensitive to criticism of any kind.”

When someone advised her, Anita would feel like she was five years old again, being told that she was not good enough. “Though that awareness has helped greatly in changing myself as an individual and my response now to people and situations, in a way I have never been able to get over that childhood problem of wanting to prove myself and obtain praise,” she says.

“Today, however, I am confident of my capabilities and achievements. And know that I matter, even if my grandma thinks otherwise.”

Constant comparisons, especially when you’re growing up can be belittling on a vulnerable and fragile ego. If you too are overtly defensive, do a little soul searching. Has the scourge of favouritism played havoc with your life in any way? Further, to ensure that favouritism doesn’t ever creep in your family, keep communication channels open between all the members.

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According to Aruna Pujari, senior clinical microbiologist at the Breach Candy Hospital, washing your hands regularly is the first line of defence against the spread of almost 80 per cent of all diseases.

Many times a day

There are some critical times when your hands have to be cleansed, no excuses. These are:

• Before handling a baby and after changing diapers.
• Prior to eating or cooking food and after handling raw meat.
• Before handling/meeting a patient or tending a sore and after touching a wound or visiting a health facility.
• After using the toilet or touching anything dirty.
• Before wearing contact lenses.
• After sneezing, coughing or using a tissue.
• After helping someone with a runny nose

How to wash your hands

Most of us believe that visibly clean hands minus dirt or smells are safe. However, just holding hands under running water will not eliminate the harmful microscopic pathogens.

A careful scrub with soap or antibacterial liquid and water is essential. For most of us doing this means working up a lather with a soap, many a times while holding it under running water, placing it aside and simply washing away the soapy feel. Well, that’s not how it should be.

1. Wet your hands and apply enough soap.
2. Rub palms together for at least 20 seconds.
3. Rub between your fingers as well as up to the wrist.
4. Rinse well with clean water.
5. Dry with a clean towel immediately. Never leave hands wet for long, since it’s easier to attract dirt on wet surfaces.
6. Clean nails too as they are a vital but ignored part of hand hygiene.

Excess is bad

Yes, washing hands is crucial to good health, but excess could lead to skin irritations. Even in case of children, it is important to expose them to some amount of germs in their growing years to build immunity. Kids with almost no exposure to germs tend to fall ill frequently. As in everything else in life, keeping a balance helps here too.

Did you know?

The current World Health Organization [WHO] motto is ‘clean your hands and save lives’—because more handwashing with soap means lower rates of infectious disease.

Every year WHO [World Health Organization] conducts Global Handwashing Day [October 15] to spread awareness; there are programmes that reach the grassroots of hygiene since that’s where good health begins.

The WHO celebrates the Global Handwashing Day since 2008. It is a week-long activity that mobilise millions of people world-wide to wash their hands with soap. Although WHO intends to bring down the general incidence of disease through this initiative, the principle goal is to reduce the deaths among children under the age of five by two-thirds by 2015.

What’s new about it

Here are the two latest additions in hand washing techniques:

Antibacterial soap

These soaps are effective in killing bacteria, thereby preventing many a disease. The active ingredient in most is triclosan, an antibacterial agent. However, you need to use these with care, since in the long run there could be a build up of bacterial resistance.

Alcohol rubs

These are effective when soap or water is not available. A good rub must contain a high per cent of alcohol to kill germs. The base of most of these is isopropyl alcohol or ethanol. However, these come with limitations—they dry the skin out in the long run. Also, they are not useful against spore-bearing organisms. In such cases, the good old soap and water method works the best.

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Where parents err

Although we tend to blame an only child for behavioural problems, the actual problem lies in parenting. “Rearing an only child has its own unique challenges,” says Brinda Jayaraman, a Chennai-based counsellor, psychologist, and founder of Anchor Self-Help Access [ASHA]. “This is largely due to the fact that doting parents may be tempted to be too permissive. When they yield too easily to demands, the child may feel more privileged at home. However, the world outside is harsh and when this special treatment is not meted out to him/her everywhere, adjustment problems can arise,” she explains.

The child could turn out to be self-centred, unwilling to share in any way. According to Jayaraman, parents of only children tend to be over-protective. This creates anxiety issues, leaving the child unable to cope with any real challenges. “Since everything is arranged for the child, s/he doesn’t learn problem-solving skills and may have difficulties taking up responsibilities at a later stage,” says Jayaraman.

Only and lonely?

The biggest issue of concern to an only child is that of companionship, or rather, the lack of it. It stands to reason that if you’ve never experienced something, you can’t miss it. Oddly enough, parents of only children tend to feel unreasonable guilt for having deprived their kids of the experience of having siblings. The guilt intensifies if they enjoy a special bond with their own siblings.

When Hasmita Chander, a writer based in Mumbai made her decision to raise Mikita, her only child, she was more than a little apprehensive. “I’m not sure what the effects of not having a sibling would be for Mikita. I do know that I treasure my own relationship with my only sibling, my sister. So it worries me sometimes that she may not have that. Then again, it’s perhaps because I had a sibling that I was more reticent with friends—after all, I had my sister. Friends can provide companionship as well and teach lessons in sharing and tolerance, which we would like to provide with a second child’s presence.”

Often, when the age gap between children is over 2 – 3 years, having another child, simply to provide a sense of companionship for the first, just isn’t plausible. “Your two children are more likely to be in different stages of their lives, with different needs and interests,” says Emma Watson, a Chennai-based psychologist and counsellor. “In such cases, it isn’t until adulthood that a true bond is struck, if at all.”

Stereotypes shattered

It’s commonly believed that only children have to battle with the demons of loneliness. “I’ve never felt lonely because once you are an only child you get used to doing things on your own. You don’t always need somebody to entertain you. You find ways to entertain yourself. And I don’t believe that being spoilt, over-ambitious, or attention-seeking is restricted to single children,” says Kshitija Pande, an MBA student in the Symbiosis Institute of Management Studies and a single child.

Chandana Banerjee, a media professional based in Pune also grew up as an only child. This, she believes, gave her the opportunity to develop her creativity because of all the time spent playing imaginary games and thinking of new activities that would keep her amused. “I enjoyed being an only child and never felt that this situation was unique or any different in any way. I loved reading, painting and making up stories. I could also spend hours on my own, chasing butterflies in the garden, watching ants go about their business, looking for fairies beneath bushes and in hollowed trees. Neither was I lonely, nor did I ever yearn for companionship.”

Contrary to their image as loners, studies have proven that only children gravitate to large crowds, make friends easily and can be more open and outgoing than those children who grew up with siblings. “I feel anybody can be an extrovert or a loner—one doesn’t have to be an only child to fit into these two moulds,” says Banerjee.

“A lot of people assume that being an only child, I must have been pampered silly or spoilt rotten, but, my mother had always been extra-strict, in order to counter this.” she says further.

Balancing the beam

Interestingly enough, when you are dealing with a single child parenting styles can vary greatly, often veering towards both ends of the spectrum—either being too permissive or too harsh, even alternating between both. It’s the parents who manage to strike a balance, acting both as a friend and confidante, while still maintaining a level of necessary discipline. This kind of democratic parenting easily manages to fill the void left by a lack of companionship that a single child might normally face.

“I’ve always felt it natural for me to confide completely in my mother or father. And this has raised my confidence levels as they’ve always supported me,” says Pande.

Studies have shown that single children are often more ambitious and successful than their peers who have dealt with siblings. In many cases, they are hailed as over-achievers, mostly because they have reason to feel more secure. Only children don’t need to constantly compare themselves with a more successful sibling, or feel the resentment of a parent’s unwitting partiality. And this creates a strong sense of self-esteem that helps propel them through life.

So if the stork has visited you just once in your life, remember, you have every reason to rejoice. By balancing love and discipline, strictness and indulgence, and having fun and laughs you can ground your only child pretty well. After all, it’s quality over quantity any day.

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Unlike mothers who deliver naturally and recover immediately after birth, the circumstances are different for you because the pain is just beginning. Catering to the physical demands of being a new mother—breast feeding, changing diapers, the nightly routines—it can all get rather overwhelming.

Caesarean to the rescue

Timely C-sections have saved many lives. “Regular antenatal check-ups, close monitoring using sonography and colour Doppler can detect abnormalities at an early stage. Conditions such as intrauterine growth retardation [where the baby’s growth isn’t adequate], reduced [amniotic] fluid [oligohydramnious], reduction in blood flow to the baby warrant caesarean delivery to ensure safety of the baby,” explains Rishma Pai, consultant gynaecologist at Jaslok and Lilavati hospitals in Mumbai.

Also, problems, which can be risky to the mother and baby such as placenta previa, abruptio placentae [where the placenta separates from the uterus], pregnancy-induced hypertension, and gestational diabetes require a C-section. “Close monitoring in labour identifies when foetal distress occurs, requiring urgent C-section,” adds Pai. Delivery of twins and older women getting pregnant too contribute to increase in caesarean deliveries.

Things you can do

If you’re opting for a C-section, or are at risk for one, here’s what you need to know for a speedy recovery.

Deal with post-surgical pain: A C-section can be done under two conditions. You will either be given a spinal block [epidural] that will numb the lower portion of your body [you are conscious throughout the procedure]. Or, you will be provided with general anaesthesia. With the latter, you will be unconscious for the duration of the surgery. In both cases, once the procedure is over, you will have to deal with intense pain. Be prepared for a great discomfort post-surgery despite taking pain killers.

“I couldn’t sleep most of the night, despite the sedatives,” recalls Sharadha Manohar, a Chennai-based teacher. “I had difficulty emptying my bladder the next day and had tremendous stomach ache because of trapped gas. I made the mistake of refusing to walk for a few days after surgery, since it was painful around my stitches, but the delay just worsened the cramps and pain. It was a week before I could move normally and months before I fully recovered,” she says.

Today, doctors agree that as hard as it may seem, taking those first few steps the day after your C-section can set you on the road to rapid recovery. “Due to the type of sutures used and universally followed procedure of lower segment caesarean section [with the stitches on the lower part of the abdomen in a horizontal line], the risk of the scar on the uterus or the abdomen giving way is low. As a result, the patient is out of bed, the day following surgery and is encouraged to be active,” says Pai.

Establish a feeding routine: Breast feeding while dealing with the pain can be very daunting, unless you’re adequately prepared. Clogged ducts, sore nipples or leaking breasts pose a challenge.

“I breast-fed for one hour 40 minutes after birth,” says Mangala Ramprakash, a Bangalore-based housewife. “A nurse had to help me breast-feed as I couldn’t sit up.”

Establish a feeding ritual as soon as possible. This will ensure that your baby gets the nourishing colostrums—the first life-giving milk that builds up a healthy immune system for life—and also prevent clogged milk ducts that could add to your discomfort.

Make breast feeding easier: “Buy a feeding pillow that can be clipped to your waist,” advises Delhi-based Kimberline Arora, who has had two C-sections. “After my first delivery, I knew the second one too could be a caesarean. So I focused on feeding essentials in my prenatal classes. The pillow turned out to be a boon; I could rest the baby on it without hurting my scar,” she adds.

“Breast feeding may be tried in the lying down position if pain is experienced while sitting and feeding. Applying nipple cream or application of the hind milk help to minimise soreness and cracking. As far as possible, try to reduce the strain on the abdomen,” advises Basab Mukherjee, a Kolkata-based gynaecologist.

Eat the right kind of food: Since you’re feeding and recovering from major surgery, your diet becomes important. Avoid spicy foods and excessive caffeine. Eat calcium-rich foods, fresh fruits and vegetables. “The need for calories during breast feeding is more than that during pregnancy. A good diet helps improve health and heal the scar,” says Mukherjee.

Take care of your body“Avoid exertion, lifting heavy weights, or exposure to crowded places to prevent infection,” advises Pai. “You can start back-strengthening exercises soon after. Continue iron and calcium supplements for a few months.”

Keep travel plans on hold : Wait for at least two weeks after the operation to travel. “Wear comfortable shoes, stay well-hydrated, get up intermittently to stretch your legs during travel,” says Pai. This is applicable only if you have an uneventful recovery from caesarean delivery. In case of complications such as pregnancy-induced hypertension, diabetes, heavy bleeding during delivery or an infection in the post-operative period, avoid travelling for at least a month.

Care for the scar: Ensure that your caesarean scar doesn’t get infected. Since most stitches are dissolvable, most of the healing is internal. So, avoid activities that may strain your abdomen. Don’t carry anything heavier than your baby and avoid frequent climbing of stairs. Immediately report itchiness, redness or swelling along your scar tissue to your doctor. Keep the scar area dry and clean and don’t wear tight-fitting clothes. When you cough, sneeze, or laugh, support your incision using your hands or a pillow.

Don’t be too eager to exercise: You might be eager to get back to your pre-pregnant figure as soon as possible. However, slipping back into an exercise schedule too soon could lead to several complications. Give your body time to heal; be patient.

“I generally advise women to take it easy after C-sections and ask that they limit all strenuous activity,” says Mukherjee. You may start light walks a week or two after the procedure. However, wait for at least six weeks after delivery to begin a full-fledged exercise programme. This gives the sutures inside the body time to get completely absorbed, minimising the risk of hernia.”

Seek emotional and spiritual relief : Go beyond just the physical and ensure that you heal on a mental and spiritual plane as well. “I started yoga about a year after my C-section and it helped enormously,” says Ramprakash. “I finally began to feel like I ‘possessed’ my body in its entirety again… that feeling of wholeness and wellbeing that yoga gave me was a big gift.” Make use of every minute your baby sleeps to pencil in time for yourself. Exercise, meditate, pray, chant—do anything that will allow you to connect with your inner self.

And remember, it took nearly a year for your body to create the miracle—your baby. It will take just as long for you to regain your original strength and fitness. Give yourself time and care; as you nurture your baby, you too should be back to the pink of health soon.

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Defining workaholism

Workaholics should not be confused with people who are simply hard workers, say experts. There is nothing wrong in being committed, or going that extra mile to ensure that your work is impeccable and completed in time for the deadline. However, workaholics rarely have job satisfaction, since they never rest long enough to pat themselves on the back.

For them, work is a lifeline—they cannot survive without it. Workaholics only drive themselves with a manic kind of aggression—vacations are unheard of and they tend to be critical of other ‘normal’ workers, accusing them of slacking off. Hard workers, on the other hand, take breaks and revel in their accomplishments.

It is little wonder then that workaholics are vulnerable to stress-related illnesses, marital discord and burnout.

The Type-A behaviour

Surveys have shown that both men and women continue to sacrifice their marriages and interpersonal relationships at the altar of their careers. According to a study by industrial psychologists Cooper and Taylor, the ‘Type-A personality’ abounds among executives in the modern workplace. A person with a Type-A personality is extremely competitive, continually striving for greater achievement, and rarely satisfied with a job well done.

Aggression, haste, impatience, hyperactive alertness, and a feeling of being under extreme pressure and burdened by responsibility are all common traits in them. In other words, Type-A personalities are typical workaholics driven by the demands of the rat race and their own ambition to get ahead, regardless of the cost.

“Today, the employees who refuse to stay overtime are regarded as slackers—even if they are committed to their goals. This attitude has especially risen with the MNC and BPO culture—in a world where economics, money and power sets the pace,” says Brindaa Jayabalan, career and marital counsellor.

Women are most affected

Although addiction to work is a trait that is common to both men and women, it is established that each reacted differently to stress at work. Men were able to shake off the pressure and unwind easily when they quit the workplace and reached home. Women, on the other hand, grew more tired and irritable.

A woman’s job does not end at the workplace. She also has other responsibilities like managing the house, looking after children and much more. So, it stands to reason that physically, workaholism takes a greater toll on women. However, emotionally, it robs men of a fulfilling family life.

“Men who don’t traditionally take care of their children may feel alienated and cut off from their own wife and kids. As the closest family members become strangers to them, they spend even more time in the office, in what soon becomes a vicious circle,” explains Brindaa. “However, in some cases, men may take solace from their family lives and find it easier to relax with their children, when compared to women, to whom mothering is another full-time job,” she adds.

When work stress becomes a way of life, exhaustion and poor health are not the only by-products. Errors in judgment, increased irritability, panic disorders, clinical depression and even anti-social behaviour usually follow suit. Recent research by the Framingham Heart Study in US found that professional women with typical Type-A personalities were twice as likely to have a heart attack as their male counterparts.

It is important to find a fine balance between your role at home and your position in office. Although there will be some sacrifice either way, you can still have the best of both worlds. And in the end, whatever you sacrifice, it will certainly be less important than that which matters most—peace of mind and health.

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Has your child been complaining often? Does she have a long list of woes that she voices in loud cranky tones everyday? If you are bringing up a 6-9 year old, whining may have well become a perpetual habit, almost a part of background score of your life.

Whining can create undue stress in your relationship and can be destructive to your peace of mind. But it’s important to understand that kids at a growing age will always have pet peeves and it’s normal for parents to face a long litany of complaints, regardless of their parenting skills. But if it gets out of hand, it could affect your child’s personality in the long run. Here are some tips to help you keep the whining at bay.

Stop the squeaky wheel

Do you work from home or have to attend to calls at all hours of the day? Perhaps this could be one of the reasons your child shows symptoms of grouchiness—because she cannot communicate with you effectively. Children in such situations feel that the only way they can get their parents to listen to their needs is by raising their voices to a higher pitch until they get the attention they feel they deserve—a proverbial squeaky wheel that constantly needs oiling. According to Jane Nelson, co-author of Positive Discipline A-Z, “Children do what works, and a whiner is looking for a response—any response.”

Being attentive to your child’s needs even before the whining begins is an effective solution. “When my son Ashok was seven years old, I was trying to get back to work,” says Shobha Thomas, 36, an HR manager. “I had quit my day job to be a full-time mother when he was born, and I thought it was the right time to get back to the daily grind. Unfortunately, it was a difficult transition. In a space of a few months when I was attending interviews and considering various offers, I realised that Ashok had gotten into the habit of complaining constantly.” It got on her nerves, but Shobha chose to ignore it. When the complaints escalated, she couldn’t understand what had happened to her little boy who always had such a sunny disposition. “I decided, we needed to talk,” she says. “Though I had never been consciously neglecting him, my pre-occupation with work of late had made Ashok unhappy. Once I’d reassured him that I would definitely have all the time in the world for him, despite the work schedule, the complaints slowly disappeared. It was a relief to have the old Ashok back,” she remembers.

Communication is important, especially if you’re a working parent. Set aside some time exclusively with your child, every week, and ensure that nothing intrudes those moments. Once your children feel secure in your love and attention, the niggling habit fades away.

Teach them gratitude

Sometimes, in our need to do the best for our kids, we tend to spoil them. Learning to appreciate their blessings helps them in many ways. Anjana Maithra, 42, is a Gurgoan-based housewife with two kids aged nine and seven. Her life revolved around her son and daughter but she soon lost patience with their criticism. “Ever since they started going to school they began complaining about something or the other we didn’t have,” she says. “Whether it was the lack of air-conditioning or the latest brand in footwear, life became one long list of grievances.” Anjana dealt with the problem in her own way. She took along her children, the next time she volunteered at the local orphanage. “I didn’t want to upset them, so I’d never suggested they accompany me. However, the exposure did them good. Would they complain about not having the latest branded shoes, if they knew others had to walk barefoot to school for hours each day? Or would the lack of air-conditioning be an issue if they knew some people lived in mud huts throughout their lives? One needs to be aware of how the other half lives in order to appreciate one’s blessings”.

Awareness begins early, answer all your child’s queries that such a visit might evoke; clearly and without exaggeration and without mincing words. Allow them to absorb the situation at their own pace and refrain from lecturing or drumming the point home.

Keep a schedule

Is your child’s lifestyle hectic—a huge whirl of events and extra-curricular activities? A tired child can often be cranky and unreasonable. If your child has been showing these symptoms, examine her schedule to see what you can cancel to make more time for her. Also, keep a close watch on your own schedule. Don’t postpone meal times to run errands or do any last minute chores. A regular schedule can be comforting and reassuring, even for older children well past their baby-hood.

Identify the hidden trigger

Some children have the habit of erupting like a volcano quite often and without sufficient reason. “If the tone of complaints are getting vehement and furious, perhaps there is something bothering them causing them to vent their frustrations this way,” says Dr Latha Janaki, psychologist and counsellor from Chennai. “She may be afraid of someone in school, either a bully or a group of kids who are giving him a hard time.”

Subjecting your kid to third degree with repeated and intrusive questioning will do no good, especially if she is too scared to speak out. “Maintain a cordial relationship with her teacher and other caregivers at school,” advises Dr Janaki. “You can always approach them to find out what’s going on. It would help if you take her close friends into confidence.” In time, patience and persistence will help you uncover the root of the problem.

Extra tender loving care

If you can’t find anything wrong and still the dissatisfaction persists, be firm but kind. As hard as it may be, refrain from constantly rebuking your child. Don’t give into any tantrums laced with demands either. You don’t want your kid to feel that this kind of behaviour is being rewarded. Try to reason with them, encourage independence in their actions and be generous with praise.

Most often than not, the extra tender loving care helps to bond with your child.

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Finally, when she had exhausted every way of subtly conveying the message, Sarah decided to take a more direct approach. “Instead of moping around feeling victimised, I decided I needed to speak my mind, albeit with courtesy” she says. So, she printed out all the material that had to be completed from his end and picked an opportune moment to confront him with it. “He would occasionally have lunch meetings with the head of our department. I quietly walked in on one such meeting, handed over his folder and mentioned that I had completed my share of the work, but the rest would require his expertise. I also made it clear how much I would enjoy working together as a team and hoped he would find time to fit me in.” After some initial surprise, Sarah’s co-worker eventually cooperated and the project was successfully completed.

Experts believe that being frank and open at the workplace can successfully resolve some of the niggling day-to-day problems that threaten your harmony. In many instances, speaking your mind can work in your favour. “Most people tend to bottle up their emotions, especially in a formal working scenario, because they are afraid to speak out. However, it is here that you need to be frank and honest in all dealings,” says Sabith Kishore, a New Delhi-based career counsellor. “An office is often a microcosm of the world at large. You will encounter many personalities or circumstances here that may cause you undue stress or even affect your productivity. In such situations, a direct and yet diplomatic approach without being confrontational works best.”

Don’t be a professional martyr

When Arjun Bhose, a graphic designer whose job required intense concentration, found himself seated next to a rowdy bunch of co-workers, he found that his efficiency was slipping and his boss was not pleased with the plummeting quality of his work. “The company ran a BPO and the unit was positioned right next to the communication department, where I sat,” he says. “I couldn’t concentrate with all the racket the department made throughout the day, but since I thought it was churlish to complain, I never mentioned it.” It was a decision that almost cost him his job. “My boss couldn’t understand why my performance had slipped so badly. It wasn’t until he decided to pay me a visit at my cubicle that he spotted the problem. If it weren’t for this chance incident, I probably would’ve been fired.” As it turned out, Arjun’s cubicle was shifted to a quieter spot and his performance gradually improved. He has now vowed to speak out more, especially in situations when it matters most. Often, we keep our feelings bottled up, either fearing people’s reactions or assuming that we won’t be heard. Little do we realise however, that this could turn out to be more damaging.

“Simmering away silently over small issues can raise blood pressure and snowball these problems unnecessarily,” says Chennai-based psychologist Dr Emma Watson. “It’s better to be transparent in all your dealings and to expect the same from others. It creates a situation that is less stressful and more professional.”

Nurture relationships

It’s a fact that most people spend more time at the workplace than at home, with their own families. So how do you create an open and easy relationship with the people around you? Effective communication coupled with tolerance, experts say, is the key to nurturing workplace relationships. Here are some tips:

Be courteous, yet firm

If a colleague is not doing his share or is taking you for granted, let her know, gently and firmly. Don’t be anyone’s doormat. Strike a balance between submissive timidity and unnecessary aggressiveness.

Don’t scatter your words

Incessant complaining about your grievances to anyone who will lend you an ear can seriously damage your reputation. However, you cannot ignore issues that affect your productivity or threaten the integrity of your workplace. In such cases, ensure that your complaint is heard by the right person at the right time.

Retain your composure

Ensure that you are calm at all times and your only goal is to resolve the issue amicably. Getting visibly upset will only shift focus away from the problem at hand.

Try the direct approach

Try to handle minor issues directly with the people concerned. If such a solution isn’t possible through a frank direct approach, then think of involving a mutual friend, who can be fair to both parties. Don’t approach a supervisor or authority figure in the first instance or you might end up making enemies out of colleagues. Handle each situation with sensitivity. However, do not hesitate to report more serious issues to your boss immediately.

Don’t hesitate to tell the truth

Grave issues such as harassment tend to be swept under the carpet. If you are troubled by a colleague’s misbehaviour, don’t think twice about reporting the incident to your supervisor or boss. “Sympathy in these cases is often badly misplaced,” says Kishore. “If a colleague is invading your private space or making you feel uncomfortable in any way, bring the incident to the attention of a higher authority. Even if he is fired, at least you can rest assured that he will not be able to repeat his behaviour with someone else.”

Use warmth and humour to diffuse tense situations

As in all relationships, certain habits and traits that your colleagues have could unduly irritate, especially if you spend a lot of time with them. In such cases, temper action with tolerance.

“I had a colleague who was constantly falling sick,” says Savita, a 34-year-old IT professional based in Bangalore. “He would sit next to me and cough and sneeze all over my monitor and keyboard. I would hate it, but simmered in silence for many months. It just grew worse and there were days when I would dread going to office.” It was then that Savita used her trademark humour to defuse the situation. “I brought five boxes of tissues to the office one day and taped tissues all over his desk,” she laughs. “I also brought in a small umbrella and unfolded it over my monitor. He got the message and he wasn’t in the least bit offended!”

Remember, a frank and easy camaraderie in your relationships with colleagues can make for a healthy, lasting and fun-filled career.

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It may come as a surprise to many, but automobile hygiene is one of the most ignored aspects of health care. “Most car owners are concerned with the outside of their vehicles”, says Arizona-based general practitioner, Sanjay Manchada, MD. “They fret over every scratch, wash the body of the car regularly; ensuring that even the slightest scrape is re-painted. But sadly, the real issues of hygiene within the vehicle are grossly ignored. This can lead to several health problems, from respiratory disorders due to dust mites, [the most common allergen], asthma, colds, persistent coughs, even triggering sinus headaches.” As we spend more time within the constraints of this enclosed environment, car hygiene now takes precedence like never before.

Poor car hygiene hurts

According to a study called Toxic at Any Speed: Chemicals in Cars and the Need for Safe Alternatives, conducted in 2006, by researchers of the Ecology Centre in California, USA, the concentration of a major chemical pollutant PBDE [Polybrominated diphenyl ethers] found in dust and on the windscreen of the interiors of a car are five times higher than in the homes and offices of most people. And this can severely impact health, especially since traffic snarls and long commutes increase the time you spend in your car.

PBDE is a toxic environmental pollutant, mostly found in consumer goods such as electrical equipment, construction materials, plastic coatings, textiles and polyurethane foam [furniture padding]. Used to soften the seats of the cars and often contributing to the “new car smell,” it is also used in vehicle interiors to make seat cushions, arm rests, wire insulation and floor covering. The study revealed that these chemicals were released when the cars got over-heated, especially when the vehicle is parked in the blazing sun.

When combined with dust mites, they can be inhaled, leading to health risks. “We can no longer rely just on seatbelts and airbags to keep us safe in cars,” said Jeff Gearhart, the Ecology Centre’s Clean Car Campaign Director who co-authored the report. Most people think about cars causing outdoor air pollution, such as smog. Now we know that breathing the air and dust inside the car may be even more dangerous.”

Children exposed to PBDEs are prone to subtle but significant developmental problems, which affect brain growth. For adults, it could be carcinogenic or create problems associated with the liver.

The study found that car owners could minimise these health hazards by keeping their vehicle interiors clean and dust-free, using solar reflectors in order to prevent the trapping of UV rays, ventilating car interiors and parking in the shade whenever possible.

Why take the trouble

Besides harmful chemical contaminants, a car filled with dust mites attracts spiders and other small pests that could be harmful to young children. Floating dust mite can also enter the air passages and nostrils, resulting in sneezing and allergic cough. While driving, this can interrupt your rhythm, or worse, the dust mite could irritate the delicate lining of your eyes. This also poses an additional hazard if you wear contact lenses, as it can cloud your vision at crucial moments.

A busy family may bring plenty of unrelated material into the car – such as pens, pencils, key chains, loose change, even small toys. As these can keep slipping between the seats, they pose a choking hazard to babies and young children, who may be difficult to supervise when you are driving. If you have young children in the house, a clutter-free car is a priority.

Inside job

You’ll need to purchase a hand-held vacuum, one that is compact and can be stashed away in the trunk of the vehicle for easy access.

First, remove all the floor mats and have them beaten and vacuumed. If any mat is damp due to rains or sweat from dirty socks and gym clothing, then ensure that the mat is placed under direct sunlight for at least an hour or more to kill germs. Once the mats have been removed, the interiors of the car should be thoroughly vacuumed, with special attention to the corners [especially in the ridges of the doors]. Rubber mats retain germs easily and these should be cleaned in soapy water with a plastic hand-held brush. Insert your hand between the upholstery and ensure that there are no stray objects here before you vacuum the seats. Ensure that the plastic covers are completely removed from the upholstery before running the vacuum. Don’t forget to wipe the dashboard [you may be surprised by the number of coffee stains this area sustains], especially if you’re in the habit of having your morning cuppa as you commute.

Keep only essentials in the storage area underneath the dashboard. Your sunglasses, driver’s licence and a fresh towel would do. Lastly, ensure that the windshield is sparkling clean as is the trunk and the storage area behind your head in the back seat. Avoid placing small objects in this sloping storage area as they can fall down during jerks and possibly injure back seat passengers.

To remove any embedded contaminants such as tar spots, bug or bird droppings, tree sap, from the body of the car, you can use dissolved baking soda, which is both gentle and effective in prising out dirt. Mineral spirits and denatured alcohol act as mild solvents as well. You can also purchase sprays of cleaning solution specifically designed for this purpose. Ensure that you choose the milder varieties that will not affect the paint.

Today, a clean car is as important as a clean home to lead a healthy life! Ensure that this aspect of hygiene doesn’t pass you by.

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