“What makes you comfortable can ruin you and only in a state of discomfort can you continually grow,” says Bill Eckstrom who, after documenting and researching over 50,000 coaching interactions in the workplace, shares life-altering, personal and professional development ideas through the introduction of the “Growth Rings.” The rings illustrate how dangerous it can be to remain in a state of comfort and how being in discomfort is the only way to sustain growth. You’ll be amazed at the world-changing outcomes discomfort can have on your life and the lives of others.

If you are too comfortable, you are probably stagnating. “Seeking discomfort may sound odd but you have to learn to embrace it, if you are looking for sustained and exponential growth,” says Bill.

Watch this TEDx Talk to learn why order and comfort are the real threats and how you can go about creating discomfort, and thereby genuine growth, in your life.

About Bill Eckstrom

Bill Eckstrom is an entrepreneur, author, speaker, outdoorsman and father of three. With a passion deeply rooted in growth and development, Bill has always been fascinated by the role a coach has on the performance of individuals and teams. As a result, he founded the EcSell Institute whose sole focus is to educate, track and measure coaching effectiveness for leaders within organizations around the world. This has led to hundreds of keynotes, published articles and e-books created from the research and documentation of coaching interactions and outcomes. You can learn more about the EcSell Institute here: https://www.ecsellinstitute.com/

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How can you go on working with these people who drive you batty on a daily basis? Luckily for you, I have all the answers to help you regain your sanity and leave the anxiety for the significantly smaller irritants in life. Like commuter traffic.

The Loud Talker

This is the guy who can’t keep his voice down whether he yaks on the phone with his proctologist or blows your hair back from point-blank range as he blusters on about his weekend at the lake on his friend’s gold-plated yacht. The solution to this one is easy. Bring a gong to office. Every time that hot airbag opens his mouth, bang that gong until he goes away.

Okay seriously, headphones should do the trick. For you, not him. [If you gave that guy headphones, his decibel level would hit the red zone.]

The Cougher

This also goes for the hummer, the whistler, the throat clearer, the sniffler, the mumbler, the heavy sigher, the tongue clicker and the coffee slurper. The first time the offender offends, scream, “OMG! You scared me!” The second time it happens, yell out and slap a hammer down hard on your desk. Say, “Holy Moly, that startled me!” Keep this up until the offender stops or asks to be moved elsewhere. Or, you could try headphones again, it’s purely up to you.

The Fish Monger

Nothing stinks up the kitchen and the office like a reheated seafood buffet. Should any clueless coworker [like the aforementioned Bipasha] have the audacity to bring in such a noxious lunch, say something like, “Holy Mackerel! Who farted? Did someone fart?” Trust me, you’ll be the hero of the office for simply expressing what everyone else is thinking but doesn’t have the nerve to say.

The Non-replacer

This is the lazy woman, probably the freckled sandal-wearer in Human Resources, who leaves one square of toilet paper on the roll instead of replacing it. She is the same person who leaves two sips of coffee in the pot and doesn’t make more. She undoubtedly does this at home. Therefore, the answer to this problem is to call her husband and inquire as to what he does to put a stop to such selfish behaviour.

The Chronic Farter or Burper

So, Ratish is a nice guy and all, but he’s really let himself go in his later years and he really lets “it” go in the office. All day long. It’s a daily thunderstorm that stinks so bad it keeps the bugs away, which might be a good thing, but if you can’t see your own computer screen through the tears and the fog, how are you expected to get any work done? Well, let me just save you a lot of time right now.

Recent studies show that men fart way more than women in the office. It would behoove you to surround yourself with women when you are first assigned your desk. If you didn’t think of this and you are stuck sitting next to Ratish and his storm-clouded cubicle, try screaming, “Holy Gaspipe! Did someone cook fish? Is someone cooking fish? Bipasha, is that you?”

The truth is, your proximity to Ratish is your own fault, and unless you’re willing to take him to the doctor for a prescription or get the guy to lay off wada pav and chole bhature for a while, get a desk fan.

The Clipper

This is the guy [why am I picking on guys so much? Because they are gross when it comes to hygiene]… anyway, this is the guy who pulls off his shoes and socks, and clips his toenails right there at his desk. [See? I told you they were gross.] You’re having a pleasant day at work so far, only to be interrupted by the high-pitched clipping of human talons, which are most likely flying across the aisle onto your desk and landing like rice grains on your resignation letter to the boss.

Don’t let this nasty man drive you out of a job. Fight back. Bring in one of those air guns they have at sporting events where they shoot T-shirts into the crowd. Start with shooting a handful of worms in his direction and go from there. Build up in size and grossness until you find something that gets his attention. It might take all day, but it will be worth it.

The Flosser

What is it with people ejecting or flicking small bits from their body onto your desk or in your hair? I’m even willing to assign this example to a woman because, gender equality. Now, if Tanya flosses at her desk, I have two words for you: mosquito netting.

However, if Tanya flosses over your shoulder—which has happened to someone I know, and the offender was a guy—actually, now that I think of it, the same two words apply.

Now for the real solution to the above problems

In all due seriousness, let’s consider the fact that many governments don’t have the resources to feed and shelter these mentally ill people; they are left in the cruel harsh world to fend for themselves and they are trying, God bless ‘em, at least they have jobs.

For your own sanity and wellbeing, you must find a way to relieve your stress over the toenail clipper and the coffee sipper and the let-it-ripper. Especially if it’s the same person. Campaign with your boss to move desks. Campaign to work from home. Get your boss to sympathise by campaigning to switch desks with him or her personally. This will put your boss in your shoes for a second, maybe enough so that he will try to help you, after a quick gag reflex because he has his own issues with tooth crevice jam.

So take a deep breath and remember that your annoying coworkers are not as evolved or self-aware as you are. Have some compassion for our less fortunate brethren [and sistren] who can’t help themselves.

Treat your work relationships like a marriage, where you are stuck with these nose-picking, space-invading people for the unforeseeable future. Find ways to cope, whether it’s wearing headphones or purging on Facebook.

You can’t control the behaviour of your coworkers, but you can choose how you respond to it. Writing it down can heal your pain or at least get it off your chest and make you feel better. Why does all this stuff get on your last nerve, anyway? It’s not like you’re so flawless either, you know. Maybe you’re the one with the problem, complaining all the time, did you ever think of that?

This was first published in the April 2015 issue of Complete Wellbeing.

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There are five ways we might view food at work and the above description is what I would call the impulsive approach. It involves no planning, no true hunger, no thought paid to whether eating is the appropriate activity called for. Food pops into your mind and you’re off and running.

A second method is eating by the clock. No matter what you’re in the midst of doing, when it’s the time you usually chow down, you cease all physical and mental activity—and eat. You may not be hungry or the slightest bit interested in food. You may be rolling merrily along answering emails or phone calls, jotting down after-meeting notes or in the midst of a creative process with your ideas flowing wildly. But because it’s time for breakfast [or lunch or dinner], you eat.

A third approach is putting off eating as long as possible because you want to lose weight and believe [in spite of your history] that if you don’t eat during the day, you’ll be able to slide through the evening with maybe just a salad or a fruit and toddle off to bed having barely eaten a thing. So, at work, you throw yourself into every project you’re given, avoid the lunchroom, busy yourself to keep your mind off the gnawing in your belly, and feel stoked that you have such amazing self-control. Of course, by the time you arrive home you’re famished and hit the fridge before you do anything else, and don’t stop eating until you groggily stumble into bed sick in belly and at heart.

A fourth take on work eating is believing you’re too busy to nourish yourself. You tell yourself you have far too many vital tasks to accomplish and that taking time out for a nosh or a sit down meal just won’t cut it. Rather than speaking to your ability to be productive, this mindset really says that you don’t care enough about yourself to feed your body in a timely and nurturing fashion. It may also say that you believe being industrious or taking care of others are the only ways to feel good about yourself.

A fifth approach is to use food to liven up your day. If you’re bored or not engaged in work, you might seek food as an emotional pick-me-up. In this scenario, you never really let yourself get hungry at work because you’re always eating, a little of this or a lot of that. To you, food equals fun, excitement and feeling blissed out. Rather than seek true enjoyment, you settle for a candy bar or a bag of chips.

Are you missing the point?

Whether you’re an impulsive eater, an eater by the clock, an abstainer in order to lose weight, a food self-denier or a fun-seeker, you’re missing the point of what food is for.

Here are some of the things food is not meant to do: fill time, be your go-to strategy for managing stress, a way to avoid doing something you’re not into doing, be the highlight of your day or your best friend. Primarily, food is for fuelling your body so that it can get to work and have energy left over for play. Secondarily, food is for sensory pleasure. It tastes good and may even trigger dopamine, the feel good neurotransmitter, in our brains.

Change your relationship with food

If you’re ready to improve your relationship with food at work, here are some simple tips to get you started.

1. Connect with your appetite

Recognise the signs of true hunger and eat when you’re moderately hungry, when food actually tastes best. Check in with your appetite frequently during the day by asking, “How hungry am I?” and “Am I hungry enough to eat?” If you have a set lunch or dinner time and don’t want the whole sandwich you brought, save the rest for later unless you’re certain you won’t have time to eat it.

2. Plan ahead

Consider how you will eat whatever meals occur during your work hours. Whether you’re a secretary, an airline pilot, a factory worker or a nurse, if you’ve been at your job any length of time, you know in general when you get hungry and when you find the time to eat. It’s easy to prepare something at home and bring along a snack in case you get the real munchies between meals.

3. Find a peaceful setting and eat without distraction

Maybe you can’t leave your office, but can swing around your chair to face the window. Sit as far away from the computer as possible so you’re not tempted to distract yourself from eating. Create a small, clean place for your food. If you’re in a busy setting, go outside. If there’s no other quiet place, eat in your car with some great music playing in the background.

4. Eat mindfully

Mindful eating means devoting your full attention to the food in front of you. Set the stage by sitting down and intentionally relaxing with a few deep breaths. Put aside any work you’ve been doing and push away any thoughts but those that are about food. Look at what you’re eating and take small bites. Chew and chew some more to release flavour, so your taste buds can do their job.

5. Stop when you’re 80 per cent full or 100 per cent satisfied

Fullness is a quantitative measure, while satisfaction describes the quality of the meal. While you’re eating, ask yourself, “Am I still hungry?”, “Am I satisfied yet?” When you reach either state, pay attention and make a conscious decision to stop eating because you’re done.

If you dine out at lunch, continue to stay connected to appetite. Consider how hungry you are and what you’re craving. Stay tuned to your appetite signals by not eating when you’re talking and not talking when you’re eating. Pace your eating with the slowest person at the table.

Think about what you can do to make eating at work more mindful and satisfying. Pick one action that will make a difference and do it today. Keep practising mindful eating and soon new habits will take hold. And pat yourself on the back for each positive baby step you take toward eating well at work.

The post The correct and incorrect way to eat at work appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Arjun comes into office, switches on his computer only to find 100 new emails waiting for him. As he sifts through the mound of mail, his annoying colleague Snehal stops by his desk to tell him how her daughter stood first in her school exams despite having chickenpox. When she finally decides to leave, he goes back to sorting his email when he remembers that he has a meeting with the company director in 10 minutes. He goes through his notes. Things seem to be in order and he heads off towards the boardroom. As he is about to enter the room, his assistant rushes up to him and informs him that the numbers that he was supposed to quote in his presentation are all wrong. Unfortunately for him, the director witnesses this exchange and berates him publicly for his incompetence. Does Arjun’s day sound much like yours?

At work, we often face stressful situations, dreaded projects, irritating co-workers, frustrating bosses, an overwhelming number of tasks and messages, boring work we don’t enjoy.

These problems have one simple cause: we’re holding on.

It’s not your work that is stressful

The work itself isn’t stressful—it’s just action that’s taken or that needs to be taken. It’s our reaction to the work that causes the stress: our holding on to a wish that things were different.

It’s not the constant stream of interruptions that is frustrating—they are just events that happen around us, like a leaf falling or a bird flying by. It’s our holding on, in our minds, to the task we were doing before we were interrupted that causes the frustration. We wish we weren’t interrupted from the task, and we resent anything that interrupts us while our minds are still half on the previous task.

Our co-workers and boss aren’t the problem either: they’re just other human beings trying to do the best they can in this world. It’s our holding on to the idea that they should somehow behave a certain way, that they should do their best to make us happy, that causes us anger and irritation.

It’s not that we have an overwhelming number of tasks and messages that causes us to be stressed out—it’s our reaction to that number. It’s just a list of things, or a phone ringing, or an inbox with a list of messages. Those things are harmless. But when we hold on to the idea that we can do everything, and that we have to deal with all this at once, we become stressed, because obviously we can’t. We can only do one thing, though our minds are on all of them.

So what’s the solution? It’s letting go.

This is the Zen of Work.

Learning to let go

When you let go of these ideas of how things should be, how other people should behave to make you happy, how you can do everything at once, then the problems go away. They simply don’t exist.

There are other problems, of course—you still need to do the work. But the frustrations, stress, anger, irritation, feelings of overwhelm… those are all caused by holding on, and they’re in our minds. We also hold on to things that happened earlier—something someone did that wasn’t nice, a meeting during which we said something embarrassing, a mistake we made on our project—and of course this only compounds the pain, keeps the pain replaying on an endless loop.

Letting go allows the problems to disappear.

It’s that simple, and yet letting go isn’t always easy.

It’s a learning process

First you have to learn mindfulness, which is the key to the whole shebang. Mindfulness allows us to see these thought processes that are causing us pain, allows us to delve into what we’re holding on to.

Mindfulness also helps us return to the moment, so that all those things running around in our heads can fade away, and we live in what’s actually happening, right now.

We do a task without holding on to other tasks, or offences made by other people. We do a task, and then let go of it, and move on to the next task.

This takes practice, and so I suggest starting with a simple practice, like five minutes of meditation, and working from there. Once you get good at this simple practice, you can expand mindfulness to other tasks. Eventually you’ll get pretty good at it, and you will notice that the problems will start to dissolve on their own.

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Most often companies pay high salaries to ensure that their star players don’t leave them, but what they don’t realise is that more money is just a temporary distraction and many employees don’t stay longer even if you do give them a raise. Internal evaluation as well the exit interviews conducted in organisations with high attrition rates show that offices with good work culture go a long way in keeping their employees happy. Needless to say, a happy workforce has an increased productivity, which is what most managers aim for.

So what can you as a manager do to ensure that people enjoy working for you and continue to give you their best? You need to keep in mind that these people spend a major part of their day working for you; so you need to create an environment that keeps them satisfied. Let’s look at some simple things you could easily adopt in your workplace to make sure your employees stay motivated:

Awards

Most companies have an annual award distribution, if not monthly or quarterly. Change the name of the award from the boring ‘Employee of the Year/Quarter/Month’ to something that would mean more in your business context and recognises the person’s individual skills. Also you could have an award ceremony for members of the team to promote their soft-skills like their friendliness, innovation, dependability, etc. However, ensure that the names of the awards do not hurt sentiments.

Soul satisfying work

Tie up with an NGO in your area and give your employees the chance to work for the community. But when you schedule something like this, make sure that you do not take away a holiday from your employees as it is the only time they get to spend with the families. Many of your employees might already be working with NGOs and organisations, so give them a space where they can discuss their experiences like on an internal blog or a bulletin board where they can put up pictures or share anecdotes. If you have a CSR initiative in place and an employee does something commendable, put them on a pedestal instead of letting the management take all the credit. This would boost the morale of your employees like nothing else will.

Potluck lunch

Set aside one day of the month where the management as well as the employees meets for lunch. Potluck lunches are a way for people to learn about the customs of their colleagues through their food. You as a manager need to take care that this doesn’t turn into another boring meeting. So initiate conversations if the need arises, since the employees might find it awkward to discuss unofficial things when the boss is around. Plan the lunch on a day when your employees are not tied up with meetings and deadlines, so they are not in a rush to get back to their work. Also plan some activities to do during this time.

Silly games

Conduct games like balloon bursting, bingo, or sessions where your staff could bellow songs or do other fun activities. These ridiculous games are good as they get people laughing more. The general air in the office tends to improve and the employees feel refreshed, especially if such sessions are conducted in the middle of a normal working day.

Creative contests

These bring out the artist in your employee. Since all your employees may not be good at the same thing, there is no point in conducting a swimming contest when there are fishes as well as cows present. Pick something that more people would be able to attempt. You could probably pick a theme and ask them to use that as a basis and do something that they like. For example, you could pick a particular festival as the theme, so the poet can write, the artist can draw, whereas the caricaturist can do a sketch and the actor can perform—all on the same theme.

Decorate workstations

A happy and cheerful workplace that has their favourite quotes, their favourite pictures and artwork by their children would make your employee combat stress better. Is there a better stress buster than the smiling faces of your children? Encourage people to personalise their workstations as best as they can.

Family gathering

Once a year invite the family members of all your employees to the office or conduct a family picnic. Get the families of employees to get to know and befriend each other. This might seem trivial, but it brings relief to the family to know what kind of people their family member spends most of their day with. When people bond at these events it helps the families know that there is a colleague or manager looking out for their loved one.

Group therapy

Conduct fun exercises and activities that lighten up the mood in the office and get your people to come together and mingle with each other. Sessions of laughter yoga have been proven to reduce the stress in individuals and also make people loosen up to their surroundings. People adapt better when they know they can loosen up and be themselves. Make sure to appreciate individuality in your people and never criticise people for the way they are unless it has a direct impact on their productivity.

Besides activities, there are things like one-on-one time, listening to their problems and coming up with solutions, getting them cake and some snacks to celebrate their birthday or asking about their family, all these little gestures show that you care about them.

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