During the contest, the young man displayed superlative adeptness when his first arrow hit the bull’s eye, and then he split that arrow into two with his second shot. Highly pleased with his own performance, he dared the old man to match it. The master remained calm and instead of drawing his bow he motioned for the young archer to follow him up the hill. Curious about what the old man was up to, the young archer followed him near the peak of the mountain. There, they confronted a deep gulf, bridged simply by a flimsy trunk of an old tree. The master stepped on the wobbly log and walked to the middle, picked a far away tree as a target, drew his bow, and fired a clean, direct hit. Calm and composed, he stepped off the log quietly, looked at the champion archer and said, “Your turn now.”

As he stared into the terrifying chasm, the young man trembled and couldn’t even step onto the log, leave aside attempting to shoot at a target. Sensing his predicament, the old man looked at him lovingly and, without a trace of superiority, said, “Young man, no doubt you have great skill with your bow and arrow but you have little skill with the mind that controls these weapons. Shooting arrows in contests is not that same as firing them on the battlefield, where violence can arise upon any kind of terrain and under any conditions. If you want to be a real champion, go and become the master of your mind.”

Why Unwavering Composure Matters

For me, the lesson in this Zen story runs deeper than the abyss that terrified the young archer. All my life, I have been taught to focus on learning new ways to succeed, on acquiring knowledge, on gaining technical “expertise”. After all, these qualities are valued in the world. But when disaster strikes, when I am confronted with an unexpected crisis, or when life throws a curve ball, no amount of expertise and knowledge comes in handy — unless it is also accompanied by a tranquil mind. Only if you are calm and composed can you face stressful situations without succumbing to the pressure. And yet, learning worldly skills is given prominence everywhere with hardly any emphasis on the importance of training the mind for peace and calmness.

But then, life is the greatest school with the most unsuspecting teachers on its roll. And my teachers have come disguised as unexpected difficulties and stressful situations — challenges and problems that have stumped me and made me realize that what I most need at that moment is unwavering composure; nothing else matters as much.

Also read » The lion and the crippled fox

Why Staying Calm Helps

I rate the ability to stay calm and composed as greater than any other material accomplishment. Without composure, I cannot help myself or another. But if peace is my constant companion, regardless of how stressful the challenge, how demanding the situation, how dicey the problem, I know I can deal with it. This is what the Zen master implied when he urged the young archer to become the master of his mind.

I understand that steadfast equanimity requires great practice and dedication, especially because it is not given priority in a world that is smitten by material wealth and sense pleasures. But, like the Zen story teaches us, skill — or for that matter riches, fame or power — are of little use without a calm mind. That’s why I consider the ability to stay calm and composed under all circumstances to be the greatest quality. This quality of composure is a flowering of mindfulness. Let me explain.

How to Be Mindful In Stressful Situations

To be able to stay calm and composed in the midst of chaos and uncertainty requires one to be in a state of heightened awareness, which is the quality of mindfulness. When facing a crisis, a mindful person, rather than being swayed by extreme emotions, stays calm and controlled while working the best way out of the situation. Mindful beings are in touch the present moment and also know that their all power exists now in the timeless realm of now. When you focus on the present, you are able to respond better to the challenges at hand rather than being overwhelmed by stress and losing perspective of your situation.

Here are a few steps that will help you stay calm and composed in stressful situations:

1. Acknowledge and accept that you are feeling stressed

Only when you acknowledge the physical and emotional signs of stress — palpitations, feelings of weakness, a stream of dreadful thoughts — are you in a position to do something about it. Accepting your stressful feelings allows you to approach the situation objectively and calmly.

2. Stop and notice your breath

Take a moment to pause and pay attention to your breathing. As you notice you breath, you will begin to breathe deeper and slower which, in turn, will activate the body’s relaxation response and help you regain a sense of calm.

3. Bring your attention to the present

Become intensely present. Look around and notice your surroundings. Also make note of  the sensations in your body as well as your mental chatter. Doing so will instantly ground you and anchor you to the present moment. Now you will have a clearer view of the stressful situation.

4. Question your fearful thoughts

Stressful situations cause our minds to go into an overdrive of negative thinking. But most of these thoughts are simply unfounded fears that can be challenged and disputed with reason. As you question your thoughts, you will be able to look at your stressful situation in the right context.

5. Be your own friend

Avoid self-criticism. Bashing yourself up is self-defeating phenomenon with terrible consequences. Give yourself space to be imperfect. Be gentle and compassionate to yourself like you would be to a friend in a similar situation.

Conclusion

Try following the above steps, the next time you feel immobilized when facing a difficult situation. With practice, being mindful will enable you to stay stay calm and composed no matter how challenging and stressful your situation.

If you wish to learn how to cultivate a mindful disposition, start by reading this article.

Also read » The man who eliminated uncertainty

» Follow Manoj Khatri on Twitter and Instagram

The post How to Be Mindful in Stressful Situations appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

If we look up the dictionary, it defines peace as “freedom from disturbance” or, “quiet and tranquillity”. If we look at our life, there are so many things that disturb us. If we attempt to draw up a list, we are likely to run out of paper in no time, because life is filled with so many disturbances.

Many people think of peace as the absence of war. That is also a valid definition. But war or armed conflict is only one type of grave disturbance.

We can think of disturbance in relation to other issues as well, one example would be economic calamities, just as we experienced in 2008. The world economy took a massive nose dive and it still has not fully recovered. It created a great deal of disturbance within society; it became much more difficult for people to find work. People’s asset bases, their homes, their bank accounts, all eroded, and this was very disturbing for them, particularly for those approaching retirement.

But this lack of peace also manifests in a myriad of other ways. For instance, on a more personal level, with the idea of personal friends and betrayals. It’s tremendously disturbing when someone we thought of as a close friend, someone who was trusted and relied upon, and after some turn of events, that person betrays us. Even being “unfriended” freaks us out or causes huge disturbance for some of us.

Body Image

Studies show that the use of social media tends to result in a greater lack of peace than of peacefulness. People are searching for something, but they don’t realise that what they’re searching for is peace and happiness. They’ve got their phones and they’re swiping and swiping away. What is it that they are looking for? People say, “I’m trying to see what my friends are doing.” But they’ve been constantly following what their friends are doing for the past four or five years and it hasn’t stopped. Because they’re actually searching for something else, something deeper.

Today, body image reigns supreme. It’s the age of selfies. Selfie is pretence. You have to get the right look on and the right angle, and get the selfie stick out, take a picture of yourself enjoying the moment—it’s all so fake. Nobody wants real video or real pictures. They don’t want a picture of themselves brushing their teeth, using the toilet, eating and dropping food on their clothes. They don’t want to be caught asleep on the sofa with saliva coming out of their mouth.

It’s not just youngsters, older people are into it too. Some people have had so many facelifts and so much body modification that they look stunningly youthful. “Oh, you look so great!” — but then they have to stand up and start walking and you suddenly become aware that “wow this person is actually 80 years old!”

How we want people to see us and relate to us, leads to becoming troubled by thoughts of how acceptable we are. This also leads to self-doubt, about whether others can actually accept us, and whether we are truly lovable. People end up in so much self-doubt and pain.

Unfulfilled Desires

Another thing that brings disturbance into people’s life is the thought of not having something that they desire, or not having enough of it. They become agitated and disturbed: “I’m not getting enough of this sort of activity. I’m not getting enough out of that relationship. I’m not able to afford a certain new toy. I’m not able to afford something else. I’m just not getting enough stuff.” They’re feeling both distracted and disturbed, and looking for more. But no matter how much stuff, money or anything else you get, it will never satisfy you. You will continue be disturbed.

So, with unfulfilled desires, the things that we desire or want and are just wishing and hoping for, there is this false idea that the disturbance I’m feeling within my heart will be erased if I can get these things—if I could just get the perfect body, if I could get more possessions. I think that if I could just get these things, then everything is going to be great and I’m going to exist in a peaceful and happy condition. But that is the opposite of truth. If you lead a life of material pursuits, it’s absolutely not true that by getting all these different things you will find relief from your emptiness and suffering, that you will come to a state of happiness, fulfilment and peace.

What does the Bhagavad-Gita say?

The Bhagavad-Gita is probably the best known of all the Hindu or Vedic scriptures and is used as a reference or a guide for any serious practitioner of yoga. It teaches us many life lessons including the subject of peace and peacefulness.

The Bhagavad-Gita literally means the ‘Song of God’ and it was a dialogue between Lord Sri Krishna and a very great warrior prince named Arjuna about 5,000 years ago on a battlefield. It is quite different, in many ways, from other scriptures and it contains profound knowledge about the nature and purpose of life. It examines the basic question of identity: who am I? what is my life’s purpose? where can I find happiness and perfection in life?

There is a beautiful verse in the Bhagavad-Gita:

One who is not connected with the Supreme can have neither transcendental intelligence nor a steady mind, without which there is no possibility of peace. And how can there be any happiness without peace?  [Bhagavad-Gita 2:66]

If we reflect upon this verse, it is saying that material life, chasing all these material things and experiences, instead of providing peace, leads to more agitation, more painful experiences. And this results in a dimming of whatever intelligence we have. If we are to actually come to the position of being fulfilled and peaceful, to have a spiritual life, and if we are to see things with clarity, then it’s necessary for us to have transcendental intelligence.

In another two verses, the Bhagavad-Gita describes this situation:

As a strong wind sweeps away a boat on the water, even one of the roaming senses on which the mind focuses can carry away a man’s intelligence.

Therefore, O mighty-armed Arjuna, one whose senses are restrained from their objects is certainly of steady intelligence. [Bhagavad-Gita 2.67-68]

If we want to be able to achieve happiness, fulfilment, and peace, having steady intelligence is necessary. It’s also necessary to curb this endless chasing of the demands of the senses and of our minds.

A couple of verses later, the Bhagavad-Gita it states:

A person who is not disturbed by the incessant flow of desires—that enter like rivers into the ocean which is ever being filled but is always still—can alone achieve peace, and not the man who strives to satisfy such desires. [Bhagavad-Gita 2.70]

If we are going to dedicate our life to simply following our minds and our senses, focusing our minds on all the different desires of the senses, we will not be able to come to the position of experiencing peace, to be free from disturbance. The chasing of desire is the same as putting gasoline on a fire. If I want to put a fire out and I add gasoline, although it’s a liquid it doesn’t put the fire out. It makes the fire burn brighter.

So, if my life is spent trying to fulfil the desires that manifest in my senses and mind, without any consideration of whether this will actually bring me happiness, and whether this is a wise choice, then I will simply be experiencing an ever-increasing agitation instead of going the other way. In order to experience happiness, one must cultivate spiritual intelligence.

A faithful man who is dedicated to transcendental knowledge and who subdues his senses is eligible to achieve such knowledge, and having achieved it he quickly attains the supreme spiritual peace. [Bhagavad-Gita 4.39]

What is the Solution?

We are embodied—we have a material body. We are living in this world. The important thing for us to do is come to understand and appreciate what is the actual goal and purpose of our life. And that is to find this fulfilment we hope for, to experience the actual happiness that we desire in our heart of hearts, to awaken the natural condition of spiritual love and to have this very extraordinary and completely fulfilling experience of spiritual love and happiness.

If we follow the path of materialism, founded on the idea that I am the material body and that I will experience fulfilment by constantly bombarding my body and mind with sensual experiences, then this is actually a display of a lack of transcendental intelligence.

The intelligent path, as it is pointed out in the Bhagavad-Gita, is when we engage in the activities of life, but focus them as an offering to the Supreme Soul, to dovetail our life in the service of the Supreme Soul and of other living beings. If we live our life in this way instead of greedily trying to grab things and suck the juice out of all this fruit that we get, hoping it will fulfil us; if we instead redirect our life and make it one of being connected with the Supreme Soul and with others in a mood of humility and service, then we will have another experience. We will actually find that condition of unlimited peacefulness, of tremendous spiritual happiness and love.

The principle spiritual process to bring about this change is to engage in meditation, and particularly kirtan meditation, under the guidance of a genuine spiritual teacher, which brings about a purification of the heart and the mind.

The post Peace: Life Lessons From the Bhagavad-Gita appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

So what are the keys to living healthy in your old age?  Believe it or not, they are basically the same as they were in your younger years.   The main difference is that the consequences for not applying these keys will be much greater now than they were in your youth.

1. Start Early

Don’t think you can live an unhealthy, out of control, life for 50 years, then suddenly flick the switch and go healthy for the remainder of your years.  Bad habits and addictions form after a number of years and it is very difficult to turn them around.  So, the earlier you start adopting healthy habits, the easier it will be to continue in old age.  That being said, it’s never too late to begin living healthy.

2. Clean Up Your Act

Drugs, alcohol, tobacco, unrestricted sex, gambling and other forms of extreme or excessive behavior have a negative effect on our immediate and long term physical and mental health.  If your attachment to these substances or behaviors is so strong that you don’t think you could ever give them up, then cut back on them.  Better yet, substitute them with something healthy.  For example, drink Kombucha instead of alcohol, breathe deeply using pranayama techniques instead of sucking on cigarettes and chant mantras instead of consuming drugs, etc.

3. Eat Healthy Vegetarian Foods

Load up on high fiber fruits and vegetables, whole grains, legumes and healthy fats like coconut, olive and flax seed oil, avocados, nuts and seeds.  The Vedas also tell us that dairy products made from healthy, protected and loved cows is an excellent source of protein and the perfect brain food.  These foods are called “sattvic“, or in the mode of goodness.  They are very conducive for the health of body, mind and spirit.

On the other hand, according to the Vedas, meat, fish and eggs are in the modes of “tamas” (Ignorance) or “rajas” (passion).  They create an internal environment where disease can thrive and they have a tendency to cloud up the mind’s clarity.  They also have the unhealthy effect of bad karma.

So, next time you go shopping, look for those sattvic, health-giving foods.

4. Do Hatha Yoga and/or other forms of exercise

The various stretches, constrictions, breathing and relaxation techniques of hatha yoga have a long litany of health benefits.  Yoga asanas are reputed to relieve pain, loosen stiff muscles, increase mobility, reduce arthritis, improve chronic disorders, create mental balance, energize and vitalize, boost immunity, drop blood pressure, prevent IBS and digestive disorders, reduce tension, stimulate the glands, induce weight loss, improve blood flow and lower blood sugar, build muscle strength, maintain the nervous system, regulate the adrenal glands, promote sound sleep, increase confidence and creativity, improve focus, and give a sense of peace of mind.  And, most importantly, yoga makes you a happier person.

Other exercise disciplines with similar effects include Tai Chi and QiGong.  These Chinese disciplines have a wide variety of practices.  Some internal forms are very simple and easy for the elderly to practice and benefit from.  As your skills improve, there are more complex and challenging external styles to learn.  In other words, the appeal of QiGong and Tai Chi is that anyone can benefit from them regardless of their age or ability.

As great as these eastern disciplines are, don’t forget hiking, swimming, biking, tennis, golf and other traditional forms of outdoors exercise.  Make it a habit to get out into nature, and get plenty of sunshine, fresh air, and clean water.

5. Meditate

In the truest sense of the word, meditation means to fix one’s mind and entire being on the Supreme.  Therefore, one needs to believe in a Supreme Being, or at least have a desire to know if the Supreme exists or not.  If successful, the greatest benefit of such meditation is pure, unalloyed love for the Supreme and for all other living entities.  Any other form of “meditation” should technically be called Pre-meditation.

Examples of Pre-meditation are fixing one’s mind upon a beautiful sunset, or on a candle flame, or on the tip of your nose, etc.  The benefits of Pre-meditation are numerous, but we’ll just mention a few here:  it normalizes the blood pressure, relieves stress, clears the mind, improves the thought process, increases creativity, makes it easier to give up bad habits like smoking, drinking and drugs, helps gain self-control, improves the immune system, creates a road to forgiveness, and leads to a happier, more satisfying life.

So, whether you’re a person of faith, an agnostic, or an atheist, meditation and/or pre-meditation can be of immense value.

6. Add the Healing Effects of Transcendental Sound to Your Life

The Transcendental Sound is also known as mantra.  “Man” means the mind, and “tra” means to transcend or free.  So a mantra not only frees the mind of worldly troubles, but also helps us transcend, or go beyond, the realm of the mind.  A mantra can be repeated in several different ways:

1. Silently while meditating
2. Quietly while using a mala, or set of beads, to count the number of repetitions you chant (Japa)
3. Out loud in coordination with breathing exercises (Mantra Breathing)
4. Congregationally with a group of people, usually singing with melodies and musical instruments (Kirtan).

Mantras are very powerful and have many of the healing benefits listed in the yoga and meditation sections, plus a lot more.  Personally, I have filled an ipod with 24 hours of various kirtans.  At home, instead of listening to the radio or to materialistic songs, I always have the transcendental sounds playing in the background 24/7.  These transcendental sounds have a tremendously uplifting effect on my life, and they will on yours too.

7. Cleansing Techniques

Practically everyone knows that their automobile needs to be maintained on a regular basis.  The oil, the oil filter, the air filter and the fuel filter need to be changed every few months, according to use and abuse.  Likewise, the radiator needs an occasional flushing, the brake pads and fluid need to be changed when worn down, and the transmission fluid needs to be changed before it gets too dirty and gritty, and so on. Similarly, the body’s internal organs need to be cleansed or flushed out on a semi regular basis.  If we don’t consciously cleanse these organs, then Mother Nature will do the job for us in the form of colds, fevers and other sicknesses which are simply nature’s way of cleansing the body.  However, if we use drugs and medications to suppress Mother Nature’s cleansing attempts; then, sooner or later, we will quite likely end up on the surgeon’s operating table with one severely diseased organ or another.

More advanced hatha yoga processes, such as neti, dhauti, nauli, basti, kapalbhati, etc. have been designed to vitalize the digestive, circulatory, respiratory, and nervous systems of the body. They also have a cleansing effect upon the internal organs such as the stomach, intestines, colon, liver, kidneys, gall bladder, lungs, nasal passages, eyes and ears.  In short, it could be said that these yoga processes have a purifying effect upon the body which brings about an increased energy flow.   As such, one’s ability to work, think, taste, feel and digest increases, as does one’s awareness.

The problem is that most of these yoga techniques are rather advanced, and one should only attempt them under the guidance of a qualified yoga instructor.  Such persons are rather rare nowadays.

However, if you can’t find a yoga instructor skilled in these processes, no worries.  There are plenty of cleansing protocols which you can take up on your own, or more preferably, under the guidance of a naturopath or similar health practitioner.

8. Fast

While yogis and other transcendentalists have always incorporated fasting into their lifestyle for spiritual, as well as physical and mental reasons, fasting has now become increasingly popular with those in the health community.  Sensible and regulated fasting, perhaps 2 to 4 days a month, is very beneficial for your health.

Fasting helps with weight loss, as it allows the body to burn fat, rather than sugar as its primary source of energy.  It speeds up the metabolism, improves insulin sensitivity, promotes longevity, helps regulate eating patterns, improves brain function, and builds up the immune system.  It is also said to clear up the skin and prevent acne.

More importantly, fasting is conducive to self-awareness and spiritual enlightenment.  A great deal of our energy is spent trying to digest our food.  When the body is relieved of that duty, it can redirect that energy towards spiritual awakening or enlightenment.

In the Vedic system, there are two days a month set aside for fasting.  These days are called ekadasi. Ekadasi days are specifically designed as a time where we decrease our material activities and increase our spiritual activities.   Thus, we are spiritually and mentally nourished, as well as bodily.

9. Read Uplifting Literature

The most uplifting literatures are the scriptures:  the Bible, Torah, Koran, Bhagavad Gita, etc.; and those literatures which support the scriptures.  They provide us encouragement and teach us about healing, faith, forgiveness, prayer, charity, our identity, love and much more.  For a healthy and happy life, it is highly recommended that we daily bath our intellect in the profound revelations of these holy books.

10. Know the Purpose of Your Life

Know who you are and why you are here.  A life with purpose is full of joyfulness and vigor, whereas an unenlightened life is often plagued with boredom, purposelessness, addictions and depression.

11. Get Regulated

Try to regulate your life in an organized manner.  Wake up, evacuate, eat, work, recreate and go to bed at specific times.  The rhythms of the universe, such as the rising and setting of the sun, are very consistent.  Therefore, we know when the sun will rise from one day to another, and we can positively count on it.  Similarly, if we regulate our daily activities, then the body’s various internal systems come to know what to expect.  Thus they shift into a consistent rhythmic flow, similar to tuning up an automobile, syncing the timing, and getting it to run on all cylinders.  This is very beneficial for our health.  In contrast, if we have unregulated, uncontrolled habits, then the body’s natural rhythms get out of sync and we’ll start feeling and functioning like an vehicle running on 2 or 3 cylinders.

You also want to follow the path of moderation.  Don’t eat too much, and don’t eat too little.  Don’t sleep too much, and don’t sleep too little. Don’t exercise too much and don’t exercise too little.

12. Keep connected with Family and Friends

Love and close friendships are the greatest rewards in life.  Put efforts to improve social harmony, nourish the relationships you have, and go out into the community and make more friends.

13. Serve Others

The world is full of people and other living beings who need material and spiritual help.  Figure out where you can be of some service to them.

Nearly every community has stray or abandoned animals, battered women, abused children, the poor and homeless, the disabled, the elderly, people hoping for a better way of life, and the spiritually deprived.   How can you help at least one of these people?  Look deeply into your personal assets, and then figure out how you can help others, either on your own, with a group of people, or by volunteering with an organization.

Do you have skills that someone would appreciate learning?  Perhaps you could be an assistant teacher at the local school, or start up a yoga class, a cooking class, a music class, and a community garden, teach people entrepreneur skills or simply donate money or time to those who are already helping others in one way or another?

The point is, use your time and energy in the service of others.  They may not be the only ones to benefit.

14. Respect the Earth and Do Something to Improve It

For better or worse, the earth is our home and will be the home for many generations to come.  Try to make it a better place than it was when you arrived.  If there are some barren plots near you, think about planting some trees, or turning it into a community garden.  Garbage strewn along the sides of the roadways in your community?  Volunteer to clean it up.

Be A Force For Good In The World | Science of Identity Foundation

Get involved in knowing the possible reasons and its actions with respect to sustaining the local and global environmental issues of the day, and do what you can to make the earth a better place to live.

15. Give up Trying To Be The Controller

We all want to be in total control, to have things done our way, and have people act as we wish them to act,  have governments pass laws and regulations which we deem necessary and rescind ones we think useless.  In other words, we are all thinking how much better this world would be if everyone would conform to our will.  And, we spend a lot of psychic energy trying to make it happen our way, or worrying about things which we have absolutely no control over.

Sorry, but you and I are not in control.  We can do what we can do; but ultimately, the results are out of our control.  So, let go.  Don’t drain your mental energy worrying about that which is beyond your control.  As the old saying goes: “Be the change you want to see in the world.”  This is something we can achieve, and it’s a much healthier way to live.

16. Love and Serve the Supreme Being

The awakening of pure love of God is the ultimate perfection of all religions and religious principles, and of life itself. In fact, love of God is life, itself. “Life” without love of God, is not really Life, in the truest sense of the word.   “Life” without love of God, is life in the sense that one exists, is sentient, is capable of growing and reproducing, etc., but is lacking in those qualities which intrinsically exist  with real life, i.e. a heightened awareness of one’s eternality, encompassed with full and absolute knowledge,  and overwhelming blissfulness.  In other words, this apparent, or shadow of, “life” in comparison with the real thing, is basically just a sad version of “Dead Men Walking.”

Love: The Religion Of The Soul | Jagad Guru Siddhaswarupananda Paramahamsa Chris Butler

Service cannot be separated from Love.  Service is love in action.  For instance, if a mother loves her child, she will serve that child.  She will change his dirty diapers, prepare nice foodstuffs for him to eat, hold and nurture him during times of distress, etc.  On the other hand, if she claims she loves her child, but refuses to change his dirty diapers, neglects to feed him, and locks him in a sound proof room where she won’t be bothered by his constant whining, instead of nurturing him or trying to find the cause of his distress, does she really love him?   I would venture to say no.  Certainly not as much as the mother who is willing to sacrifice her own comfort and peace of mind for the welfare of her beloved child.

When trying to develop our love for the Supreme Being, there are two kinds of instructions:  General and Specific.  General instructions can be found in the scriptures and in the teachings of previous saintly persons.  For instance, Jesus’ first commandment, “Love the Father with all your heart, your mind and your entire being,” is considered a general instruction.  Read the scriptures, pray, sing the names of God, and engage in selfless service are also examples of general instructions.

Specific instructions are given by a living saint, or representative of God, also known as an Acharya, or a teacher by example.  The Acharya considers our psychic makeup, then gives us specific instructions which are tailor-made for each individual and meant to bring us to a deeper level of love and surrender to the Supreme Being.

Love is ever expanding, so there is never a time when we can say, “That’s it.  I’ve reached the apex of life and now I can kick back and rest on my laurels.”  When preparing sweet rice or condensed milk, the longer you cook it, the thicker and sweeter it gets.  Similarly, as our love continues to grow and expand, the sweeter and more intense it becomes.  However, with the milk preparations, there does come a time when you must pull them off the stove or they will burn.  That’s where the analogy fails to measure up.  Pure love is ever expanding, ever fresh, and forever getting sweeter and sweeter.  But even in its infant stages, when pure love awakens in our hearts, we can be assured that we are nearing the end of our quest for perfect health.

The post 16 Keys to Living Healthy In Your Old Age appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

What about you? Is there something from your past that is hard to forgive? Do you want to let it go? Do you want to live your potential more fully by releasing the past? If so, try these steps:

Acknowledge your feelings

First, acknowledge your feelings related to the situation and actually feel them. Move through them. For 15 years, anger, depression, resentment and bitterness were subversive hijackers of my life. Once I learned how to acknowledge and feel these emotions, they not only lost their power, but also subsided.

Here are a few ideas to help you dive into your feelings about your situation:

• Make a list of the prevalent feelings you have related to the experience and/or your perpetrator. Be gentle with yourself
• Talk to yourself as if you were your best friend. What advice would you give to yourself?
• Find an outward expression for each of these feelings such as
  – expressive arts [collage, writing, ceramics, music, dancing]
  – physical expression such as punching a pillow, working out, running
  – spiritual expression such as meditation or prayer
  – counselling.

From the opposite perspective

Second, see the situation from the other person’s perspective. Our myopic view of the situation keeps us stuck in the past. Looking at the situation from the other person’s perspective is a very powerful exercise. Shifting our viewpoint allows us to understand others, put ourselves in their shoes and possibly have some empathy or compassion for them. This does not mean that we condone what that person did or that we completely understand it. When we imagine the experience from the other person’s point of view, we are acknowledging that there was another viewpoint to the experience, another set of values and morals at play.

Related »Ho’oponopono Explained: How 4 Phrases Can Shift Your Inner State

Here are some ideas to help you shift your perspective:

• Write about the experience from your own perspective. Then, sit in a different chair and try to embody your perpetrator. Write about the experience from his/her perspective
• Write a letter to yourself from your perpetrator with him/her explaining what happened from his/her perspective
• Retell the story, not the one where you’re a victim, but the one where you are a hero
• Think about what was right about this experience. What have you learned from going through this experience?

Release the bitterness

Third, release your bitter feelings. In order to do that, you may need to also let go of your identity in relation to it. We all create an identity in relation to what happens to us. Perhaps you are a scorned wife and feel vindicated by expressing your anger at the husband who cheated on you. Perhaps you are the victim of childhood abuse and you still feel like a victim and don’t know how to let go of that identity. You were not born feeling angry, resentful or vindictive. You were not born a victim. Let go of these accumulations and allow yourself to return to your pure humanity.

Here are some ideas to release your feelings:

• Write down all the benefits you would have if you let go of the bitter feelings
• How different would you be if you released all this blame and resentment in relationship with yourself? With others? At work?
• Ask yourself this question: given everything this person had to work with at the time, can I assume this person did the best he/she could in that moment?
• Bless and release. When feelings of resentment and blame surface, imagine what the feeling looks like and put it in a big bubble. Bless the bubble and blow on it. Watch it float away.

Choose forgiveness

And fourth, make the choice to forgive. Yes, forgiveness is a choice. It doesn’t just happen. And you may need to forgive a transgression again and again until that becomes your new normal.

Here are a few ideas to foster forgiveness:

• Bless this person when they come to mind instead of cursing them
• Connect with your compassion. Can you extend some to your perpetrator? It may feel contrived at first, even false, but that’s often the case when we are retraining the brain. Fake it till you make it
• Stay committed. Forgiveness is not a one-time experience. Once you make the decision to forgive, you will be challenged and tested to stay committed to that decision. When the familiar bitter feelings return, remind yourself that you are choosing to forgive; you are choosing love.
• Maintain a forgiveness attitude. Instead of immediately getting angry at someone who cuts you off in traffic, get into the habit of blessing that person, understanding that there is a reason s/he did that that has nothing to do with you.
• Write out an intention statement to reinforce your intentions. Start with an “I am…” sentence that states who you are as you would like to be in relation to the situation. Example: I am compassionate and forgiving OR I am safe and strong OR I live my life with joy and involvement… Now add a sentence that includes how this makes you feel. Example: I feel free and empowered.

When it comes right down to it, forgiveness is a choice to release the past and walk into the future. It is an internal experience; your perpetrator never needs to know that you have forgiven him or her for you to feel the positive benefits of forgiveness.

Related » Restoring peace within with forgiveness

When we live in a place of fear, we embody debilitating emotions such as resentment, bitterness, apathy, blame—the list goes on. The more serious the transgression, the more vindicated we are in feeling these emotions. But when we live from a place of love, those emotions don’t have a home, they can’t land in our heart because there’s no room.

Forgiveness is not about condoning another’s actions or absolving them of restitution. Forgiveness isn’t even about the other person. The choice to forgive is always a gift we give ourselves.

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I like to think of My Ego as a misery factory—a fairly large one with several misery machines, which run quietly and have great capacity to produce misery and insanity. Its products are the psychological equivalent of intoxicants like alcohol and drugs. Under their influence, I lose all perspective. The products include judgement, righteousness, comparison, entitlement, anxiety, self-pity, envy, fear [psychological, not instinctive], hatred, possessiveness, anger, guilt, resentment, inferiority complex, revenge and many more.

The misery factory works 24/7 and its raw material is the collective unconsciousness of all humanity, which is free and available in ample quantity. Its power supply is imagination. The factory has received funding from a society that promotes the idea of separation, conflict and one-upmanship. No wonder nearly all fellow humans also have their own ego factories.

My Ego is that part of my self that is completely identified with the ideas of separation from others

Annihilation ahead?

The chief consumer of the products of My Ego is the conditioned mind, which has been led to believe that these products are needed for its survival. But I know that this is a lie. Far from being necessary, these products are highly toxic and act like slow poison that will ultimately annihilate its owner and the entire human species.

Sometimes I wonder if complete lockout is the only solution. Perhaps management buyout is a better idea—that way I can take control of the factory and change its core products. What if I found a way to convert the machines into producing bliss instead of misery? What if they start manufacturing life-enhancing substances—tolerance, forgiveness, courage, peace, understanding, respect, freedom, happiness and love?

An important breakthrough

I figure that one way to make the machines stop making misery and start making bliss is to replace the basic raw material—use consciousness in place of unconsciousness. The trouble is that consciousness is in short supply, its only source being a high degree of presence. I have been experimenting with this for a while and though my research is far from over I am happy to report that I have had an important breakthrough. I have found that I can successfully cut off the factory’s power supply using a phenomenon called meditation.

What if I found a way to convert the machines into producing bliss instead of misery?

This is how it works: While meditating, my overactive imagination stops and My Ego comes to a grinding halt. But this phase doesn’t last and as soon as my imagination returns, the factory starts again and the insanity returns. Still, this has been a useful discovery, because it allows me time and space to cultivate the art of presence which, in turn, helps me produce the raw material of consciousness required for bliss in ample quantities.

The more I meditate, the easier it gets to stay present, yielding more and more consciousness, until one day meditation won’t be required—I will be simply present. The misery machines will then finally become transformed into bliss machines and My Ego will be transmuted into My Ecstasy, a factory I wouldn’t mind owning!

This was first published in the April 2015 issue of Complete Wellbeing.

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The question arises in the minds of many. If holiness had anything to do with our clothing and external appearance, the very question would not have arisen. Certainly holiness is not an external reality, it is some internal reality.

What is this internal reality?

Holiness is being in oneself. Ordinarily, man is outside himself, not even for a moment is he in himself. He is with everyone, but not with himself. This very separation from the self is unholiness.

Coming back to the self—being rooted in one’s own self, becoming healthy, is holiness. Spiritual unhealth is unholiness, spiritual health is holiness.

If I am outside myself, I am asleep. The external is the ‘other’, it is unconsciousness. Mahavira has said, “He who sleeps is the non-sage. To wake up from the dependence of the ‘other’ into the freedom of the ‘self’ is to be holy.”

How is this holiness recognised?

This holiness is recognised by peace, by bliss, by wholeness. There was a saint—Saint Francis. He was on a pilgrimage with his disciple Leo. They were on their way to San Marino when they were caught up in a rainstorm. They got completely soaked and covered with mud. Night was setting in, and the day-long hunger and travel-weariness had overwhelmed them. The village was still far off and it was not possible for them to reach there before midnight.

Suddenly Saint Francis said “Leo, who is the real sage? Not he who can give eyes to the blind, who can give health to the sick and can even raise up the dead—he is not the real saint.”

There was silence for a while. Then Francis spoke again: “Leo, the real sage is not the one who can understand the language of the animals, trees, stones and rocks. Not even he who has acquired the knowledge of the whole world is a real saint.”

There was silence again for a while. They kept on moving in the middle of the rainstorm. Now the lights of San Marino were visible. Saint Francis spoke again: “… Nor is the one who has renounced all a real sage.”

Now Leo could not remain silent anymore. He asked, “Then who is the true sage?”

Seeing only divine

Saint Francis replied, “We are about to reach San Marino and will knock at the outer door of the inn. The watchman will ask, “Who is there?” We will reply, “Your own two brothers—two ascetics.” If he were to say then, “You beggars, wretched mendicants, lazy parasites—away, get away! There is no place for you here!” And if he refuses to open the door, and hungry, tired, covered with mud we continue to stay in the middle of the night out there in the open. Should we knock at the door again and if at this time he were to come out, hit us with a baton and say, “You scoundrels, do not disturb us!”, if nothing moves within us on this occasion too, if everything within remains peaceful, calm and empty, and in that innkeeper we continue to see nothing but the divine—then this is real holiness.”

Certainly, to attain the state of undisturbed peace, simplicity and equanimity under all circumstances is holiness.

Excerpted from Seeds of Wisdom Courtesy: Osho International Foundation • osho.com

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