Re-address your spending

Catherine, a 30-year-old professional woman who is one of my clients,told me she couldn’t afford to buy a property. We discussed how much she spent on clothes, alcohol, going out, impulse purchases, magazines, unused hair and make-up products, and came to the conclusion that it amounted to a lot of wasted money. I then worked with her to change the negative spending habits in her mind. Within a couple of months of making changes to her spending, Catherine had paid off some of her credit card debts. Within a year, she had saved enough for a deposit and, by being realistic about the areas she could afford to buy in, was able to buy a property.

My advice

By looking at the financial facts, you can see where you are going wrong. Different choices and decisions will make your dreams come true.

Money can come from unexpected sources

A client called Trisha told me that she had to move to another part of the country temporarily, for six months, and didn’t need her furniture at the new place. She was stressed because she didn’t have the money to put her furniture into storage until she returned to the area and she couldn’t leave it in the flat, which she was only renting. After working to release the negative stress, I told her to imagine the move had all worked out amazingly well and that it was financially amazing too. She was skeptical, but said she would give it a go. Two weeks later, Trisha came back for another session and told me the most amazing story. A man who was a potential new tenant came to view the flat she was moving out of. As he was leaving, he popped his head back around the door and said, ‘You wouldn’t be interested in letting me rent your furniture for six months if I take the flat, would you?’ So, on the day Trisha moved out, she packed her food, clothes and toiletries into her car and drove away. In exchange for being able to leave all her furniture and general household belongings in the flat, she was being paid £400 a month. Instead of having to pay storage fees, she had an income.

My advice

Work to release the negative beliefs by following the techniques in this book and then presume things will work out amazingly well. If you do have to store your belongings have a good clear out so you don’t pay to store things you don’t need.

Amazing things can happen

A client called Nigel told me he couldn’t continue struggling to pay all the costs of having children and general living expenses and that, as he only had enough money to pay the interest on his mortgage, the amount he owed was never going to reduce. After working in the session to release his negative fears, I told him, “Things can happen. Things change. Think amazing.” Less than a week later, Nigel’s father-in -law decided to give his daughter and her husband £100,000 to reduce their mortgage. Nigel was amazed at how the amazing had worked!

My advice

You may not have a rich relative, but you don’t need to know what the amazing, unexpected things will be. Just know that they will be amazing. Be open to paying off your mortgage early. Say to yourself, ‘We’ve paid off the mortgage in an amazing way.

Even a bad situation can turn into the best thing

A self-employed client lost his best customer, which meant that his income stopped almost overnight. I helped him to believe that it was amazing for him. A few days after his appointment with me, he woke up with the idea of pushing into other markets. The old client had made him so busy he had overlooked more lucrative areas of work. He kept the amazing feeling going, which led him to find new and better clients.

My advice

By releasing the negative beliefs and keeping in the amazing zone, you can make even better things happen.

Get the job you want with the salary you want

Sarah, a freelance journalist, was offered a dream job working for a magazine. But she didn’t want to accept it because it involved a significant reduction in her salary. I did some hypnotherapy sessions with her. I explained to her, “It isn’t your dream job unless you have the salary you want. You’ll make amazing things happen when you let go of old, limiting habits in your subconscious mind. After the session, Sarah’s new confidence and positive self-belief enabled her to tell her prospective employer that she would only accept the job if the salary was the figure she wanted. The company agreed to pay her what she asked for. So she got her dream job and dream salary, and over the next couple of months she used the money that was still owed to her to clear her credit cards, putting her totally on top of her finances. The amazing thing about this story is that the magazine that gave Sarah her dream job and salary was the same one that had originally commissioned her as a freelance journalist to write an article about how my hypnotherapy services could make one wealthier!

My advice

Think through how amazing you are and why you deserve a better salary. Then have the confidence to ask for Think amazing outcome. Say, ‘I can do it. I am doing it. It is done. I have an amazing job and amazing salary.” If you don’t get that job, your new positivity will already be creating an opportunity for something better to come our way.

Increase your sales

Mark was a salesman who had had a run of a few months with low sales. He began to feel bad about selling and found that he couldn’t tell prospective customers about all the products because it sounded as though he was trying to get lots of money from them. So, to avoid the anxiety he felt when he told them about all the items in the range, he limited himself to mentioning just a few. After I worked to release the recent negative program that had built up in his mind, he felt relief. A few weeks later, he called to say that he had been responsible for the biggest sale the company had ever had!

My advice

If you are having a bad run of sales, be aware that it is just a habit that has developed in your subconscious mind and that can be easily rectified. Think of selling as informing the client of all the options. They will ultimately do what is right for them and knowing all the options available will be helpful to them. Hypnotherapy sessions and recordings are perfect for keeping in the positive sales zone. In fact, every sales person I have ever worked with as a hypnotherapist has gone on to increase their sales figures. Try hypnotherapy to increase your wealth Sam bought my hypnotherapy recording Money – Increase your Wealth, which she listened to in order to help her change bad money beliefs and get out of a financial rut. After listening to it over a period of two months, she doubled her annual income from £18,000 to £36,000 because she had the confidence to apply for a much better paid job and – to her surprise – she got it.

My advice

Be open to hypnotherapy.

Be your own boss

Steve, an experienced builder and senior executive in a building firm, had the idea of starting up a new building business but, due to the recession, he thought it might be too risky. After some appointments with me, he decided to leave his old job. Then, by using the amazing zone feeling, he self-talked himself into success and used other techniques described in this book to keep himself positive. He did some freelance work to help pay his bills before his own building projects were up and running. ‘I had the self-belief to go after my dream despite the recession; he told me. ‘Because I had a new inner confidence, I packed in my job and have begun to create my own destiny:With hard work and believing in the amazing, his turnover in the first year was one million pounds! By the third year, he was turning over five million pounds.

My advice

Remember, Steve was starting a business with skills he had built up over many years, which is very different from starting a new business that you know nothing about. So, while you build a new business and new skills, be aware that you may need to keep doing your old job to support yourself until you start earning money. Being self-employed is hard work, so be prepared to put in the hours to set things up. Treat every customer with respect, as they could lead you to more customers. Keep expenses down, and be careful – it could be a while before you build up a good reputation and create a good income. Sometimes in life, you just have to go for things because they feel right. Your determination and good feelings will make you successful. Focus determines your reality. Believe amazing things will happen, but be grounded too.

The post Try this amazing method to attract money into your life appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Then a few years ago, at a mini school re-union, I learned that Rishi had passed away. What was most disheartening was that in his last few years, he was forced to live on the streets, completely broke, living on charity of his erstwhile neighbors and acquaintances.

This news disconcerted me and I started doing some digging into his life when I found an old article about him in a prominent Mumbai newspaper. It reported that Rishi’s father had died leaving him clueless about the business. Rishi was left with only his father’s debt and a crushed spirit.

Being Broke Is Temporary

As I ponder the life and death of my dear friend, I wonder what could’ve prevented the disastrous turn of events in his life.

Perhaps the answer can be found in Michael Todd’s powerful words: “I’ve never been poor, only broke. Being broke is temporary. Being poor is a state of mind.” An American theater and film producer, and erstwhile husband of Elizabeth Taylor, Michael’s business career was volatile, and his failed ventures left him bankrupt several times. However, that didn’t stop him from continuing to try.

Life is unpredictable. Even the most competent among us can face an unexpected crisis—financial turmoil, sudden loss of job or a health emergency—anything. Whether we recover from it depends on our having the one wealth that really matters: spirit. Without spirit, even the greatest talent is useless.

Let me explain this in terms of money. Most people who are born poor think of poverty as a curse. They often equate poverty with lack of money. But poverty is never about money. There are scores of examples of people who, although born in ‘poor’ circumstances, have risen to create unimaginable wealth.

Real Wealth

Ask any wealthy man what his real wealth is and it’s a good bet that he will point to something other than his bank balance or financial assets. When Dhirubhai Ambani was asked what he attributed his success to, he thumped his chest and said “Courage”. Courage is really a form of spirit. Spirit can take any form—passion, enthusiasm, determination, faith, creativity.

When a rich man loses his spirit he loses everything—even his money. And when a poor man’s spirit is ignited, nothing can keep him from getting rich.

There’s only one kind of poverty then—the poverty of spirit. When we become de-spirited, we become poor. Conversely, when our spirits are intact, our wealth can never leave us, even when we’re broke.

The post Being Broke Is Temporary But Being Poor Is a State of Mind appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

My foray into gambling

Gambling started out as a fun social activity for me. Then I started going alone. Eventually my whole world revolved around it. I was either gambling, attempting to clean up the financial crisis that I had created, or planning ways to get back out there. I thought of little else.

I vaguely recall one Christmas morning when my two precious boys were opening their Christmas gifts. Instead of sharing in their excitement, I was watching the clock, wondering when it would be reasonable to mention going to the casino. It had become a tradition, on any holiday, for a group of us to go to the casino leaving the children with a family member who would stay behind. I’m certain that I promoted, if not started that tradition.

In time, I had spent all of our savings and we were in quite a bit of debt due to my gambling. My husband had no idea because I handled the finances for our family, and he trusted me completely.

Gambling started out as a fun social activity for me. Then I started going alone. Eventually my whole world revolved around it

An amalgamation of emotions

I lived in constant fear that he might open a bank or credit card statement and discover what I’d done. I began to realise that I would not be able to fix it and that I would not be able to hide it forever.

I could not imagine what life would be like if he found out what I’d done. Surely he would leave me and take custody of my children. Even knowing this, I could not stop. I didn’t really want to stop gambling. I just wanted all of the problems associated with it to go away.

As much as I couldn’t imagine what my life would be like without my family, I also could not fathom a life without gambling. I needed to be doing it almost constantly.

I was at a crossroads of desires. I wanted my family and I wanted to stop gambling and I wanted to die… but I also wanted to live and to keep gambling. I felt like I needed help and wished there was a place to rehab from gambling.

I wasn’t ingesting anything, but I could feel withdrawal symptoms if I didn’t gamble. Behaviours are known to affect brain chemistry. I now know that there is mounting evidence that gambling is very similar to drug addiction but even without scientific evidence, there would be no doubt in my mind that I was ‘addicted’. I have memories that, if they’d been recorded on video, an observer would be certain that I was ‘on something’.

I didn’t really want to stop gambling. I just wanted all of the problems associated with it to go away

In time my husband discovered our financial situation and what I’d done. I was so ashamed and remorseful. He was hurt, angry and confused but… he wanted to work things out.

The hard road back home

I started working with a therapist, took medication for depression and began attending meetings at Gamblers Anonymous. It was difficult. My husband travelled a lot for business and I had a household to run while he was away. I surrendered all access to money or credit cards, but we decided that when he would travel he would give me cash to purchase groceries or other things we’d need while he was away.

The first time this happened, I had gambled every dollar before his plane landed at his destination. I borrowed money from a friend so that he’d never know but I told him, when he returned, that we had to find a different way.

It turned out that I was ‘safer’ if I had a debit card. He was able to see every transaction that I made online. If it was necessary for me to have cash for some reason, I always provided a receipt. I only carried a small amount of cash. At first that seemed safe because my gambling had reached the point where it was ridiculous to drive to the casino with less than a few hundred dollars. It wasn’t safe.

I now know that there is mounting evidence that gambling is very similar to drug addiction

Anytime I ‘slipped’, I’d make a new rule, in an attempt to block myself from gambling the next time. When my whole world revolved around gambling, I could not put rules into place for myself. I didn’t want to stop. But as I gambled less, I was more able to do things that would help me stop.

I found online support groups and in the end, that is what helped me the most.

I realised that I wasn’t bad or stupid. This started out very innocently. There was a very strong physical phenomenon happening to me. So it wasn’t my fault. But if I wanted to live my life [I wasn’t ‘living’ when I was caught up in the gambling cycle]… I was going to have to change it. I needed help, and ultimately I was the one who had to do it. So I did. I learned a lot from others who had successfully stopped.

I let go of the shame and decided that if I focus on just doing the next right thing, right now… I couldn’t gamble. For months I called my sister-in-law every evening… just a five-second call to say “Day 2” or “Day 24”. If I act responsibly with my money, I cannot gamble. If I do not lie, I cannot gamble. If I am being vigilant with my time, I cannot gamble. Gambling is never the next right thing.

I hesitate to say that there were periods of time that it was just impossible for me to stop. I hesitate because those are the kinds of things that I used as justification to continue gambling. Gamblers Anonymous told me that I had an illness. I construed that to mean “I can’t help it”… so I continued on.

When my whole world revolved around gambling, I could not put rules into place for myself

It was my responsibility

I knew it isn’t my fault but it does not mean it isn’t my responsibility. Occasionally, this thing happens… where you can clearly see what must be done, and it’s evident that what your addiction gives you isn’t worth what your addiction takes from you, and you think, that maybe… just maybe… it might be possible to do this. And maybe you do abstain from gambling [or any other addiction for that matter] for some period of time. But the illness/condition inevitably returns.

Unless… when you get that moment of clarity and strength [and perhaps most importantly, hope] you decide that you are going to hold on to it and do what it takes to keep it.

Ask someone you trust to handle your money. Install software on your computer or phone that won’t let you access gambling sites. Think of how you gamble and find ways to prevent it, so that when you don’t have the strength to stop, you won’t have access anyway.

It’s not easy. It’s not fun. But it’s worth it. You deserve to live your best life.

The post How I recovered from my stubborn addiction to gambling appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Sounds familiar? Then this article is for you.

Earning a living is no walk in the park, what with trying to keep the nose to the grindstone, shoulders to the wheel, eye on the ball and ears to the ground. One rarely has the time, energy and inclination to worry about when, where and how to invest. Plus, this tax saving thing is so tedious and boring. Some money ‘has’ to be invested to get you a tax deduction. Bottom line—less TDS [tax deduction at source] and more income for the rest of the year. That’s all Priya was concerned with, then why bother with the planning and details, right? Wrong.

Because the cheque written today has got enormous ramifications on your finances tomorrow. So you better know what you are doing.

Make the effort

Assuming you are serious about your job, you must be spending the better part of your day giving it your blood, sweat and tears. In return, you are paid a salary. Even for the self-employed, it is no different. This income helps you to spend and save money for the future. So just because something seems tedious and boring, it shouldn’t be used as an excuse to be careless about money. Especially when it is neither tedious nor boring, but actually simple and straightforward. And the ten minutes that you spend reading this article is all it really takes. So do make the effort and it will pay you rich dividends—pun intended.

Understand the basics

First of all, let’s understand that the maximum amount of tax deduction allowed is Rs 1,00,000. Out of this, take out the total amount of provident fund [PF] deducted from your salary during the year. Of course, for the self-employed, this figure would be nil. Those who have taken a housing loan should also reduce the principal portion of the EMI [equated monthly installment]. Now the balance left needs to be invested.

For example in Priya’s case, the PF was Rs 60,000 for the year and she lived with her parents. So she needed to invest Rs 40,000 [Rs 1,00,000 – Rs 60,000] more to reach the limit. Now, she can invest this Rs 40,000 in a variety of instruments such as bank deposits, life insurance, NSC, PPF, ELSS [tax saving mutual funds] and Post Office deposits. Space constraints preclude a detailed discussion of the pros and cons of each one of these instruments. So, I will spare you the ‘tedium’ and ‘boredom’ and directly get to the point.

Simply invest

Instead of depending upon your colleague, ignore everything else and simply invest in a combination of ELSS and PPF. If you are relatively young and just starting out, put 70 per cent into ELSS and 30 per cent into PPF. As you advance, lower the proportion in ELSS funds and increase the proportion of PPF eventually reaching a 30 per cent ELSS and 70 per cent PPF combination. Of course, since each person’s situation is different, taking the advice of a financial planner [as against an agent] would be better than this kind of template investing—however, it would beat the last minute frenzy any day.

Now that the tax saving is taken care of, lets go a step ahead. Beyond a point tax saving is simply not possible. So don’t fret about saving tax, worry about optimising post tax income. How do you do it?

Perhaps by making a small modification to the usual mindset. Normally, the amount we save out of our incomes is what we call savings. In other words, Income minus Expenses equals to Savings. Now, for the almost presumptuous suggestion. How about Income minus Savings equals to Expenses? It’s the same equation, but redrawing it is infinitely more efficient as far as our finances are concerned.

Start small

So starting next month, pre-decide how much you want to save out of your income and the balancing figure should automatically make up your expenses. Take care not to set too ambitious a target, or you will end up just strait-jacketing yourself and give up soon. So start small and make the adjustments as you go along. This strategy introduces an element of financial discipline and ensures that you don’t feel too much of a pinch.

Be an early bird

This holds good for anyone with an income. You need not wait till the last minute and take decisions in a hurry. The early bird gets the worm. You can be that early bird by investing in tax-saving avenues at the very beginning of the financial year, even on April 1. Doing so has a two fold advantage. Firstly, your tax saving investments will earn returns from the beginning of the financial year [April-March]. Secondly, you will not have to worry about paying a lump sum [which you may not have] at one go at the last minute.

There is no compulsion to invest for tax only towards the end of the year. A much more efficient strategy is to invest throughout the year in a staggered manner such that by the time the financial year comes to an end, you can take full advantage of the tax saving opportunity. And don’t worry about how much or little you save each month. As Benjamin Franklin has so succinctly put, “A penny saved is a dollar earned!”

This was first published in the January 2009 issue of Complete Wellbeing

The post Personal finance: start early, plan yearly appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Spending our emotions

I’ve come to appreciate that having feelings about money is actually a good thing. What gets us in trouble is when we don’t know what those feelings are. All feelings need attention and recognition, including our feelings about money, or they operate covertly. Unexamined, they can control our money behavior under the radar and lead us into making poorer money choices. We overspend, under-earn, gamble, shop impulsively, give away money and indulge in a host of other self-destructive habits. Our emotions can act out like rebellious teenagers, demanding our attention yet refusing to engage in any constructive dialogue.

The spell of rationality

So why aren’t we more mindful about money? One reason is that we are under the spell of the financial model that sees money only as something concrete and quantifiable—to be dealt with rationally. This model also regards emotional considerations as dangerous when making any kind of financial decision; so if you have feelings about money, it’s deemed best to ignore them.

This may work as a short term coping strategy, but it is disastrous in the long run. Exploring our feelings around money helps us make better decisions. Those emotions that are counterproductive and threaten to derail you need to be understood, analyzed and healed.

What are your feelings when you spend

Here’s a simple example, one that can be applied to almost any money dilemma. I put myself on a budget, limiting my spending so that I can put ‘X’ amount of savings away each month. It seems reasonable and achievable, and in fact I do very well for the first three months—until I impulsively purchase a new cell-phone. [In your case, it could be a new car, piece of jewellery, article of clothing, vacation, gift, charitable donation or any of the endless opportunities to ‘blow’ the budget.]

It feels great at the moment of the impulsive act but the next day I’m surprised and upset by the purchase as I didn’t really require a new phone and had already decided to hold off buying it. I could even become angry with myself for splurging.

Why rationality doesn’t work

In the financial model, we set a budget or financial goal and stick to it and if we go off track, there must be something wrong with us. But that is a naïve and simplistic view of our complex relationship with money.

Whether I keep the new cell-phone or return it, I need to understand what I thought I was buying—beyond the actual phone. What was the purchase saying to me? What was I hungry for? Did some incident trigger the purchase? Was I compensating for something that I lost or a bad feeling about myself? I need to analyze and identify every aspect of the tapestry of emotions that led me to take the plunge.

I have often felt that horrible sinking feeling in my stomach because of—what was in hindsight—a poor purchase decision; or when I discover I have less money in the bank than I expected or when there’s an unforeseen and vital expense. That sinking feeling should be the entry point into working to understand why I feel the way I do. It is an opportunity to better understand myself and my relationship with money. It’s more complex of course when the impulsive action has bigger consequences, but it is just as important to understand my motivation behind the purchase decision.

Mindfully managing your money

One per cent of our behavior comes from our rational mind—99 per cent is influenced by our subconscious. So it is quite unrealistic for us to expect to be rational about money all the time. Below are some suggestions that could help bring about a more balanced relationship with money; ones that take into account and make room for both your feelings and your rational mind. I promise that if you work with money from the ‘inside’, your emotions won’t get the better of you.

9 Ideas to Help You Change Your Relationship With Money

1. Make a list of all the words you associate with money

Let the words flow; don’t give much thought to them, instead just write them down as they occur to you. Keep adding to your list as you go about the day or the week. This will give you some sense of the range of feelings, thoughts, social issues, spiritual concerns and personal relationships that are affected by money. It will also provide a more realistic and balanced perception of money and what it really means to your life and the quality of your life, not in terms of what it can buy you, but in terms of how it affects your inner life.

2. Be curious

Observe your actions and reactions, without judgment. We’re full of judgments about how we spend and manage our money—either we’ve blown it or we scored! Looking at money emotionally is about seeing what is, without critiquing it as good or bad.
A woman came to see me for help with her obsessive shopping at a certain boutique. She was heavily in debt as a result and felt she was a terrible person because she couldn’t stop shopping. We worked to get her off the moral high ground from where she castigated herself, moving her instead to a place of curiosity about what this behavior might be telling her. Through curiosity, we eventually came up with what lay beneath her obsession. Identifying the underlying trigger helped her to stop her overspending.

3. Examine your emotional responses to money matters

Emotional responses to money are natural—we all experience them. This isn’t something that you need to get beyond or get through; rather, they are to be explored and understood. Listening to your feelings will teach you much about who you are, what you value, what you long for, what is out of balance and what needs more attention. Even the simple act of handing money to a sales clerk can illuminate some aspect of your relationship with money.

4. Don’t let feelings of shame stop you

Shame is unavoidable when it comes to money, but feelings of guilt and shame, although hard to deal with, will not kill you. The main source of shame is feeling judged by others as unworthy. A friend asked me how much I made and when I told her, she laughed at how little I made and I felt a deep sense of shame. Generally the trigger is something not spoken of directly, but rather sensed and sometimes imagined. I can feel shame for having more money than a friend and ten minutes later feel shame for having less money than another friend… without any change in how much I actually have.

5. Unpack your feelings about money

Family is a good place to start. Explore how each of your parents or someone else who raised you, influenced you. What did they tell you about money? How did they behave with money? How did they feel about what they had? These kinds of questions help discover what you learned about money from your family.

6. Talk with trusted others about your money dilemmas and decisions

The taboo against talking about money keeps us isolated when we deal with our money dilemmas. Through conversation we come to identify and process our dilemmas and successes—to ‘talk through’ our conflicts, struggles and blessings. This taboo is most hurtful to women, because a primary way women learn in the world is through sharing with friends.

7. Heal what needs to be healed

Find the pains and disappointments and feel them, understand them, express what needs to be expressed and heal them. Work with it as you would any other emotional issue in your life. Find other ways to nourish and support yourself that don’t involve money.

8. Recognize that there’s no single ‘right way’ to deal with money matters

We each have our own unique and complex relationship with money, full of multiple layers of experiences and contradictions. You can’t follow a formula for dealing with money emotionally; you have to start with where you are and work with who you are.

9. Bring your whole self to your money life

Include your heart felt feelings, intuition, web of relationships, vulnerabilities and strengths when dealing with money.

 This was first published in the December 2014 issue of Complete Wellbeing.

The post 9 Ideas to Help You Change Your Relationship With Money appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

“Sahil, you should focus on your studies. Whenever you need something just tell us and we’ll get it for you. Leave the money handling to us.”

Big mistake

“Dad, I want to open a bank account of my own.”

“But Arushi, except for a little bit of pocket money that we give you, you don’t have any more money. What will you do with a bank account? It will be one more account for us to manage”

Bigger mistake

“Dad, I read in a book that we should invest our money wisely so that we can stay ahead of inflation. I think I should invest the money from my savings account in a Fixed Deposit. I have heard that Fixed Deposits earn a better rate of interest.”

“Harshita, you only have a few hundred rupees in your account. It’s not worth investing that anywhere. Whatever investing needs to be done, I am doing for you.

Disastrous!

Knowingly or unknowingly, consciously or unconsciously, or perhaps based on what we have inherited over generations, it has been engrained in our minds that money is the root of all evils. Though we understand that we cannot avoid dealing with money, we believe that we should at least keep our children away from this ‘evil’. And this mistaken belief is what drives our behaviour whenever our kids question us on money or want to deal with it themselves. We become so protective that we do more harm than good for them.

First things first

Is money evil? Is it so bad? Well, if it was so bad, why are you working for it? Money is not the cause of evil. It is only the ‘greed of money’ that causes evil. Let us assume that you are holding a kitchen knife in your hand. Now, if I ask you whether kitchen knife is good or bad, what will your response be? You would say that it depends on the intent of the person with the knife—he can use that knife to kill someone or as a kitchen tool. It is exactly the same with money. Money is neither good nor bad. It depends on the intent of the person holding it. Look at Bill Gates and Azim Premji and you would realise that money can be such a boon for the society.

Now, I never understood the logic as to why we should keep our children away from money. We are preparing them in life to earn and deal with money, but want to keep them away from it till they start ‘mis-managing’ it and start learning from their own mistakes. What an irony! I know that they will finally learn by making mistakes, as all of us did. There is no harm learning from one’s mistakes, but there is one thing your child would have lost if you wait till she makes money for her to handle it—and that happens to be the most critical element that makes the money grow—TIME.

The time leverage of INR 50 saved and wisely invested over 15 years is far more than the value of INR 10,000. The key is to teach your children early. And lecturing will not work. Get bank accounts opened in their names while you are the guardian. Their curious eyes must see the interest being credited into their savings account under their name. They must realise the power of the fact that their money can earn more money for them.

They should see their interest earning more interest for them. They must see time leverage in action in their own bank accounts. Once they absorb this concept that money is their slave, they will never have to be taught about saving a part of their pocket money. You will be surprised to see the changes in them. I have seen this with my children, and with most mature adults who were not aware of the power of saving early-on.

Every parent should do this

Every parent should keep in mind the following to ensure the future financial wellbeing of their children:

• Irrespective of the amount, make sure that you give your child pocket money. This ‘earning’ helps them learn concepts like money is limited, that they must plan and spend, and they must save a part of the money they get.
• They may start saving in a piggy bank, but sooner rather than later, open a bank account for them and get them involved in the process. Preferably take an online banking facility. Your kid’s bank account can be linked to your account and you can monitor it at any stage.
• Show them the bank account statement—either online or a hard copy—which shows the interest credited. Do not worry about whether the amount is big or small; it’s the concept that has to be explained, and engrained in them. The concept is that their money just became their slave; it just earned more money for them in the form of interest.
• Starting to save early is the single most important factor that will determine their wealth in the long run. If you have missed this train in your life, do not let your child make the same mistake. Tell him that he or she should try and save from his/her pocket money. This habit will go a long way.
• Let them define their own saving target every month. The equation “Expenses = Income – Savings” is far wiser than the equation “Savings = Income – Expenses”. The former teaches you to spend after you save, while the latter inculcates the wrong habit of saving whatever is left after spending, which in most cases is negligible. Though technically same, there is a world of difference between these two equations.
• Lead by example. Your child will follow what they notice you doing. If you are in the habit of saving money and controlling your expenses, it will not be difficult for them to follow suit.
• Discuss money with them—openly and quite often. Money is not a taboo. It is a necessity of life. Its priority ranking comes quite close to oxygen. Teach them to deal with it properly. If they don’t learn to deal with money from you, and our academic institutes do not teach them, the chances that they will mismanage money are quite high. Do not leave this critical life skill to chance.

This was first published in the November 2014 issue of Complete Wellbeing.

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Published by: Jaico Books

ISBN-13: 978-81-8495-577-4

Pages: 229

Price: INR 229

The rich get richer, “I have to make it to the Forbes list,” they cry. The middle class get deeper in debt—“Sales online… just a mobile app away,” they sigh. And the poor seem to be getting poorer—“Daal mein aur thoda paani dalo,” to make the meal go around.

Whichever group we may belong to, our quest for money is soul-searing. Along comes Mehrab Irani who promises you financial nirvana, but only if you follow his ‘10 commandments of financial freedom’, which he introduced using a fictional account of two friends.

Dr John Pinto, an orthopaedic surgeon in posh South Mumbai, seems to have it all—a great job, an extravagant lifestyle and a loving family. And yet, at the age of 45, he tries to take his life—an attempt that is foiled by his childhood friend, Vijay Desai. The contrast between the two men is a dig at the Indian educational system. John, who had a brilliant academic career, failed himself spectacularly in life. But Vijay, a school dropout, rose to be not just an international business tycoon, but one with a heart.

When Vijay learned that John’s suicide attempt was brought on by his dwindling finances, he decided to take his friend—and the reader—on a financial pilgrimage. As you travel along with them, you visit not only the Meccas of money [New York and London] but also the massage parlours of Bangkok, the remote mountains of Afghanistan, the Australian outback, Kenyan safari, Kruger National Park and Shanghai water town amongst other places. The teachers of the 10 commandments are as exotic as their locales. There’s an ex-porn star, an ex-terrorist, a marathon runner and, predictably, an ex-Wall Street investment banker. The one factor they share in common is that they are all protégés who have been ‘rescued’ by Vijay and taught financial emancipation, which they will now pass on to John.

The author’s skills as a teacher shine through in this book. Each chapter deals with a single financial precept—equities, real estate, insurance, budgeting, allocation of resources and even speculation. The lesson is embedded in parable and brings out the connection between man and money. The financial lesson is summarised at the end of each chapter feels like the moral of an Aesop’s fable. Sometimes, these lessons seem repetitive but I guess that is necessary for reinforcement. At times though, the lesson is difficult.

As the main aim of the book is to make you financially savvy, you will need to overlook some small flaws. The character of Dr John Pinto is sketchy and rather unconvincing. Most of the author’s aphorisms seem to be largely drawn from ‘inspirational internet forwards’ but what works is the way he neatly weaves them into the story. While the underlying lesson is clear, the attention to detail is lacking and this tends to take away a bit from the story.

The New York chapter is the most compelling with an entertaining and brilliant lesson on investing in equities. I am sure this is what prompted Rakesh Jhunjhunwala to call his book “a page turner that will permanently change the way you look at life and money.” And I heartily agree!

This was first published in the November 2014 issue of Complete Wellbeing.

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Carving different destinies

The first son was not happy. A single piece of wood was worth nothing. Other fathers gave their sons gold and land. He immediately went to the market and sold the piece of wood for a few rupees to the very first buyer, since he didn’t want to wait around in the hot sun for a better price. He then went and spent the money on some alcohol in an attempt to forget his miserly father. The second son went to the market too. The first buyer’s offer price seemed too low, so he went around looking for a better deal. After three days he sold the piece of wood for three times the sum the first son had received. Soon he started worrying about being robbed, so he went to the local banker and kept all his money safely in the bank.

The third son was grateful to his father for giving him such an opportunity and considered this simple piece of wood a blessing. He spent one week visiting different markets and shops to find out what was the best thing he could do with his piece of wood. After 10 days, he saw a handcrafted wooden elephant selling for an exorbitant price. He went inside the shop and saw a few craftsmen working on pieces of wood and creating carved elephants out of them. He liked what he saw and met the owner, offering to work there for a month for free. In return, he wanted to be trained in the art of carving. For one month he faced a lot of hardships, as he didn’t have any money. But he soon learned the art of converting pieces of wood into exquisite handcrafted elephants. He went back to the piece of wood his father had given him, and worked on it to carve an elephant, which he then sold for 40 times the original cost of the wood in the market.

Equal opportunity, unequal success

After a year, the boys’ father came back and was surprised at what he found. His first son had become an alcoholic, who wouldn’t work. His second son was working hard as a farmer, while his money grew slowly with the local banker. He valued safety and security and was unwilling to take calculated risks, so even though he had not lost money like the first son, his investment hadn’t grown a lot. The father was pleasantly surprised to see that his third son was now the owner of a huge shop that employed several wood carvers. The third son had gone on to buy more pieces of wood with the money he had made and had hired people to work for him. He had become one of the richest people in the village by using the same inheritance of one piece of wood.

Invest in knowledge

I request all parents to share the above story with their children and loved ones. Read it over and over again, and you will realise the wonderful lesson behind it. We all have the same piece of wood, and it is in our hands to make sure that we use it in the best possible way. The third son might have taken some time to get started, and had to face more hardships in the beginning compared to his brothers, but he didn’t quit because he believed in what he was doing.

A simple piece of wood with the right knowledge applied to it has the power to do wonders. Remember, no matter how little or how much wealth you have today, it is not a guarantee for what you will have tomorrow. You could be born with a silver spoon and could end up losing it all, or be born with a wooden spoon and end up manufacturing silver spoons for others. The only thing that remains is knowledge. So let us all invest in knowledge, and use that knowledge in every aspect of our lives. You need to be like a sponge, which absorbs as much knowledge as possible. And while learning, be in a playful mood. Smile. Laugh. Learn. You will absorb knowledge much easily when you are not taking yourself too seriously. It will no longer be a task, but a pleasurable experience.

How I used my piece of wood

My father told the same story to me when I was a little boy. Like all little boys, I loved playing with toys—cars, robots, soldiers and other such things that little children like. Mine was a middle-class family and in those days, India was still a closed economy. All these toys were imported from Dubai or Singapore and cost quite a lot in India.

Since my childhood days, I was encouraged to dream big and not let anything stop me from getting what I desired. My parents would frequently travel abroad for work and business and during these trips, they would usually buy lots of toys for me. I would enjoy playing with these and once I was done with them, I would sell them to other kids around me at a decent profit. Kids would buy these toys, because these weren’t available anywhere else—they were rare and desirable.

I was five years old at that time. Buying toys abroad, playing with them and selling them was fun and set the basis for everything else I did and learnt in life about not just saving money, but even investing it and selling my investments at a profit.

Unfortunately children are not taught about money, business, saving and investing in our education system. In life these are the most important skills. Ensure that you teach your children to think positively about life and that they believe nothing is impossible for them—because truly nothing is impossible for them!

Encourage your child’s entrepreneurial spirit

For teaching children about money, you should thrust them into the world of business. Let them start their own businesses, let them sell products, give them freedom rather than preaching to them. Had my family told me, “Don’t sell used toys to other kids, it is not good”, I would never have learnt about money and business.

Parents make the mistake of forcing kids to do things that everyone else is doing, telling them to become MBAs and engineers, even though their kids might be interested in something else. I remember parents telling their kids to spend time studying, rather than giving them the freedom to read and explore this wonderful world. I am happy and thank my parents for giving me so much freedom and at the same time helping me discover my own path.

And above all, the best way to encourage children is to think like a child. Being childlike is the best quality all of us can have, being like a child helps us learn faster, we let go of preconceived notions, we let go of our ego and we are open to new ideas.

Tips for teaching children about money

1. Never hesitate to discuss money, business and ideas about the way money works at the dinner table. Children are the quickest learners; help them become friends with wealth!
2. Encourage your kids to start small businesses and explore their creative instincts. If your child likes to draw—encourage him to start a business where he sells paintings to people in the neighbourhood.
3. Don’t over-burden them with tuitions and extra classes. As a kid, I never took tuitions; I enjoyed studying on my own. In my free time, I read about the world in general, it helped me understand finance, business and life better. Children who are happy will fare better in the world of business and finance.
4. Teach your children to fear nothing as God is within them. Encourage them to ask questions, no matter how crazy these questions are. People who ask questions turn out to be the best investors and businessmen. I started investing when I was 16—because of asking questions.
5. Encourage them to make more friends, meet more people and play more games. The more people and friends they have, the better it is in the long run. People who are socially connected are more likely to succeed. The best doctors and businessmen are usually the ones who have the best social skills.

And lastly, smile and laugh more, as smiling is the best way to make the most of this wonderful life!

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