Rather, they “were constantly testing themselves through real-world experiences and reframing their life stories to understand who they were at their core. In doing so, they discovered the purpose of their leadership and learned how being authentic made them more effective.”

Are you living a lie?

A lot of people fear being themselves because they feel they won’t be liked or accepted. If someone likes you when you are living a lie, he may stop associating with you when he finds out the real you; because sooner or later, truth reveals itself. By pretending to be someone you are not just for garnering attention, you are most likely to end up attracting the wrong people.

Not being yourself can also lead to a no-win situation. If you are not a genuine expression of yourself, the acclaim of your colleagues and your friends will amount to little. It is important that you like yourself first, and that can only happen if you allow yourself to be true to your inner being.

Authenticity is not just the key to a long-lasting career; it is the key to developing real, meaningful power

Costco co-founder and former CEO, Jim Sinegal, answered his own phone line, maintained a small office, paid himself a salary far lower than that of his peers and wore a nametag that simply said, “Jim”. This made him wildly popular with his employees, and left him with the lowest employee turnover rate in the retail industry.

McDonald’s founder Ray Kroc expected all employees to keep McDonald’s clean and did not exempt himself from the job—he picked up the garbage found in the parking lots of every McDonald’s outlet that he visited.

Authentic leadership is the only leadership that endures, because it exists as a function of the individual rather than a crowd of borrowed opinions.

The key to real power

Authenticity is not just the key to a long-lasting career; it is the key to developing real, meaningful power. Charisma, though an important quality of leadership, can lead to destructive behaviour if it’s not tethered to authentic values. Jordan Belfort [the stockbroker whose crimes were dramatised in the film, The Wolf of Wall Street] and Bernard Madoff used their charisma to swindle people out of their life’s savings. Both these men had power but it was not tethered to good, authentic values. Real power comes from authenticity.

If you want your success to be sustainable, if you want it to have a strong foundation, if you want it to have purpose and meaning, there is no other way than to be authentic.

Be careful about judging others because you do not know what they are going through

Your inner light shines through you when you are credible and trustworthy, and honest enough to admit to your limitations. The reality is that even with all your limitations, you are still unique and special. Embrace who you are, flaws and all. If you try to be someone else, you only become a ‘second-best someone’. As they say: “Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.”

Challenge yourself with the following ‘How to’ exercises:

ACCEPT and realise your imperfections. Shortcomings are part of who you are. Accepting this makes you powerful because now you can understand and relate to others. You will also be more open to feedback, guidance, and constructive criticism.

LIVE a life of honesty and integrity. It’s likely that you will succeed in some areas, but not in others. View every gap as an opportunity to grow.

KNOW that being different is good. Your USP comes from being different and unique. Achievers like Michael Jordan, Steve Jobs and JK Rowling were often regarded as eccentric or reckless.

RADIATE confidence. When you are authentic, you can be confident that you are doing the right thing. You can also have confidence that the people in your life who are not aligned with you are not supposed to be in your life anyway.

BE non-judgemental. Be careful about judging others because you do not know what they are going through.

ADMIT mistakes and apologise because this builds trust. This may seem hard because we fear that we may appear incompetent. However, small inadequacies in life are normal and can be accepted by almost everyone. Dishonesty and cover-ups are far worse.

PRACTICE courage. Speak the truth and allow yourself to be vulnerable. For example, in a staff meeting, ask for help if you need it, ask a question, speak up about a concern you may have. Don’t worry about what others may think. By expressing yourself authentically, you inspire others in your team to be real and take timely action.

BE true to yourself. Before embarking on something, ask: Does this feel right to me? When you are true to yourself, you are generally true to others.

The post Are you being an authentic leader? appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Relationship building is always the foundation of effective leadership. Leaders who ignore the relational aspect of leadership tend to rely on their position instead. Or they expect competence to do ‘all the talking’ for them. True, good leaders are competent, but they are also intentionally connected to the people they lead.

One of the best ways to stay connected to your people and keep track of how they’re doing is to approach the task informally as you move among the people. As you see people in the parking lot, chat with them. Go to meetings a few minutes early to see people, but don’t start in on the agenda until you’ve had time to catch up. And, as the title of this article suggests, take time to walk slowly through the halls. Connect with people and give them an opportunity to make contact with you.

When it comes to connecting informally, leaders in the middle of an organisation often have a distinct advantage over their leadership counterparts at the top. Leaders in the middle are viewed as more accessible than top leaders. They are perceived as having more time [even if it’s not true]. And they are seen as more approachable. Their people don’t worry about ‘bothering them’ and are less reluctant to take their time, unlike people who report directly to the top leader.

Walking slowly through the halls is a useful skill for leading down no matter where you are in an organisation, but the best time to master it is while you’re in the middle, not after you get to the top. To help you develop this skill successfully, here are a few suggestions.

Good leaders are intentionally connected to the people they lead

1. Slow down

To connect with people, you travel at their speed. When connecting with your leader, chances are you need to speed up. Though it is not always true, in general the higher you go in an organisation’s hierarchy, the faster the leaders travel. The leader at the top often has boundless energy and is very quick mentally.

Conversely, when you move down people move more slowly. Once again, not everyone will be slower, but in general it is true. People at the bottom don’t process information quickly, and they don’t make decisions as fast. Part of that is due to having less information. Some of it comes from having less experience.

Most people who want to lead are naturally fast. But if you want become a better leader, you actually need to slow down. You can move faster alone. You can garner more individual honours alone. But to lead others, you need to slow down enough to connect with them, engage them, and take them with you.

If you want become a better leader, you actually need to slow down

If you have children, you instinctively understand this. The next time you need to get something done around the house, try doing it two ways. First, have your kids help. That means you need to enlist them. You need to train them. You need to direct them. You need to supervise them. You need to redirect them. You need to recapture and re-enlist them when they wander off. Depending on the ages of your children, it can be pretty exhausting, and even when the work is completed, it may not be to the standard you’d like.

Then try doing the task alone. How much faster can you go? How much better is the quality of the work? How much less aggravation is there to deal with? No wonder many parents start off enlisting their children in tasks to teach and develop them but then throw in the towel after a while and do the work themselves.

Working alone is faster [at least in the beginning], but it doesn’t have the same return. If you want your children to learn, grow, and reach their potential, you need to pay the price and take the time and trouble to lead them through the process-even when it means slowing down or giving up some of your agenda. It’s similar with employees. Leaders aren’t necessarily the first to cross the finish line-people who run alone are the fastest. Leaders are the first  to bring all of their people across the finish line. The payoff to leadership-at work or home-comes on the back end.

2. Express that you care

When you go to your mailbox at home, I bet one of the first things you do is shuffle through the various items. What are you on the look-out for? You’re probably looking for something with a handwritten envelope, because it’s usually a sign that what’s inside is something personal from someone you know. We all desire a personal touch from someone who cares about us.

I read somewhere that the United States Postal Service delivers 170 billion pieces of mail every year. Yet in this vast sea of mail, less than four per cent of the total is comprised of personal letters. That means you have to sort through 100 bills, magazines, bank statements, credit card offers, ads, and other pieces of junk mail to find just four items from someone who knows and actually cares about you.

The people who follow you also desire a personal touch. They want to know that others care about them. Most would be especially pleased to know that their boss had genuine concern about them and valued them as human beings, not just as workers who can get things done for them or the organisation.

We all desire a personal touch from someone who cares about us

3. Create a healthy balance of personal and professional interest

Leaders who show interest in the individuals who work for them need to find the balance between personal and professional interest. Professional interest shows that you have the desire to help them. That is something all good leaders share. Personal interest goes deeper—it shows your heart.

When you take interest in your people as human beings, you need to be sure not to cross the line. There is a point at which interest becomes inappropriate. You mustn’t be nosy. Your desire should be to help, not to invade someone’s privacy or make them feel uncomfortable.

Start by asking fairly neutral questions. You can safely ask how someone’s spouse or children are doing. You can ask about people’s hobbies or other outside interests. Or you can ask a very general question such as, “How is everything else going?” Then pay attention to not only the content of their answer, but also for any kind of emotional reaction. If you sense that there might be something there, then ask a non-threatening follow-up question that asks if everything is okay-but don’t push. If they choose to talk, don’t judge, don’t interrupt, and don’t be too quick to offer advice unless they specifically ask for it.

Why should you take the time to do this? The reality is that when employees’ personal lives are going well, their professional lives often follow suit. What happens at home colours every aspect of people’s lives, including their work. If you have an idea where people are personally, you can know what to expect from them at work, and you may get the opportunity to help them along.

Your desire should be to help, not to invade someone’s privacy or make them feel uncomfortable

4. Pay attention when people start avoiding you

If you make it a habit to walk slowly through the halls, you will get to know your people and the organisation better. You will know when things are working. Your leadership intuition will increase, and when something is wrong, you will pick up on it much more quickly.

Most people are creatures of habit. They fall into patterns and do things the same way most of the time. As you walk around, you will get used to seeing people. Because you will be seen as approachable, people will come out of their offices or cubicles to chat with you. They’ll be visible. If something is wrong with somebody who is normally communicative, that person will suddenly avoid you. So as you walk around, you have to ask yourself, Who am I not seeing?

Often it’s not what people say; it’s what they’re not saying that is a tip-off that something isn’t right. People are always quick to bring good news, but they avoid bringing bad news. I see examples of this all the time in my consulting company, ISS. When we are working with a leader to try to develop a partnership, if that leader intends to sign with us, we hear about it right away. If that leader doesn’t, she takes quite a while to make contact with us. A good 360-Degree Leader always slows down enough to be looking, listening, and reading between the lines.

Often it’s not what people say; it’s what they’re not saying that is a tip-off that something isn’t right

5. Tend to the people, and they will tend to the business

A 360-Degree Leader has many exceptional qualities. But one thing they all have in common is that despite their passion for the vision and their love of action, they give the majority of their effort to the people. Leaders who tend only to business often end up losing the people and the business. But leaders who tend to the people usually build up the people-and the business.

As you strive to walk slowly through the halls, I want to encourage you to find your own unique way of doing it. Look for practices that fit your personality, working situation, and leadership style. One evening in the fall when I was watching Monday Night Football, I saw a wonderful example of a leader who was doing just that. The halftime feature was about NFL coach Dick Vermeil. He was being interviewed in a studio about his team, the Kansas City Chiefs, and how his season was going, but that’s not what intrigued me.

Between interview questions, they were showing Vermeil and his team during a practice. As the players stretched during warm-ups, the veteran coach walked up and down the rows of players, chatting with them. He stopped next to one player, and I could hear him ask, “How’s your wife doing?” And they dialogued for a while.

Leaders who tend only to business often end up losing the people and the business

The interviewer asked Vermeil about his interaction, and he explained that the wife of that player had been fighting lupus. He went on to say that he cares about more than how his players catch the ball or tackle. He interacts with them as people first, then as football players. I’ve since talked to Dick Vermeil, and he told me that he often has players over to his house so that they can get to know each other better.

What’s interesting to me is that when Vermeil came out of retirement to coach the St. Louis Rams in 1997, after a 14-year hiatus, I remember hearing reports that players were skeptical of Vermeil’s methods and thought that he was old-fashioned and out of touch. And he kept telling them to just hang in there with him and see what happened. What happened was the team won the Super Bowl in 1999.

Will Vermeil win another Super Bowl? I don’t know. But I do know this: he has found his own way of walking slowly through the halls that keeps him visible, available, and connected. And because of that, his players respect him and work hard for him because they know he cares about them. A leader can hardly ask for more than that.

Excerpted with permission from The 360° Leader by John C. Maxwell. Published by Jaico Books.

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There is a misconception about effective coaching that Anita’s story highlights. Too many managers believe that effective coaching is about delivering critical feedback. And while part of coaching is about critical feedback, much of it is about reinforcing what is working and providing positive feedback. This balance is essential to being an effective coach, manager and leader. Consider the following techniques to help you improve your coaching:

Provide three pieces of positive feedback for every one piece of negative feedback

Research illustrates that in high performing teams, leaders and managers give as high as five pieces of positive feedback for every one piece of negative feedback [5:1]. While that is a high bar to hit, another research studying the “weight” of negative feedback has shown that negative feedback is three times heavier than positive feedback. In other words, if you want to have your feedback bank account at baseline, you need to give at least three pieces of positive feedback for every piece of negative feedback. Otherwise you’ll be working on credit. Eventually, your direct reports will close their emotional bank account.

Give at least three pieces of positive feedback for every piece of negative feedback

Provide feedback using a “Stop, Start, Continue” framework

Most of the executive coaching action plans follow this simple format. What are you going to stop doing? What are you going to start doing? And what are you going to continue doing? This simple coaching format not only helps to organise the type of feedback you might want to provide, but it also serves as an effective forcing mechanism to ensure that positive feedback isn’t getting lost in the shuffle. It helps us to know what not to lose as we make adjustments along the way.

Get curious

Curiosity is the key not only to effective coaching, but also to healthy workplace relationships. Several years ago, I was working with the president of a financial services company. Concerned about his culture, he brought me in to assess the situation. After interviewing a large group of employees, I went back to the president to share my findings.

I started the conversation with the following, “I’m going to go over the findings item by item, but the bottom line is this: your people love you. To the person, they said how empathetic you are.” Upon hearing this, the president ruffled his brow and said something I didn’t expect, “I don’t mean to be rude, but I don’t think I’m empathetic at all. Work is work and personal is personal. I don’t want to talk about people’s personal lives at work. In addition, this is not my family. When the workday is done, I don’t want to spend any more time with my co-workers. I want to go home to my family.”

I didn’t know what to say. This did not seem like the traits of someone as consistently described as empathetic. The two of us sat in silence for what felt like an eternity. Then the president broke the silence and said the following to me, “But there is one thing I do that I think makes all the difference. I think the greatest compliment you can give anyone is to ask him or her about the work they do. So, I’m regularly walking around the office asking employees, ‘What are you working on? How can I help you? And where do you want to go in your career and how can I help you get there?’” It hit me! Curiosity and empathy are the same thing. If we want others to view us as empathetic, find something about him or her to get curious about. It is through genuine curiosity about others that we offer the highest compliment to someone—you matter.

What can you start, stop or continue doing to give your employees more positive feedback today?

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“Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

In all walks of life we look to leaders to show us the way ahead. So developing the personality traits that make a good leader is of great importance, particularly to those who aspire to lead in the future. Within the context of an organisation, young employees often ask me what they should do to develop leadership skills in themselves. I always have the same response. “Be yourself. That is the greatest trait of a leader.”

But people have different ideas about leadership. Some define it as a gift. They think leaders are born with a special type of charisma that helps them climb up an organisation ladder quickly. Others are of the opinion that to lead is to control, and that being the boss is to command and compel others to bend to one’s will. I disagree. But leadership isn’t backseat driving—it is leading from the front.

Gone are the days when companies ran as dictatorships. Depending on your charisma is not enough either. The role of a leader today is to be a mentor who inspires the next generation of leaders. An able leader energises people through effective communication, not control.

I am fortunate to have had the opportunity to lead businesses in some of the most exciting and dynamic parts of the world—India, Africa and the Middle East. As a leader, I shoulder the responsibility of creating effective leaders to drive our business forward in many countries. I need to inspire many young leaders to be themselves, to do the right thing and to excel in what they are good at.

I have learnt that leadership begins with who you are and then it is about what you do. I share with you the key principles that have helped me to be a better leader.

Decisions

In my view, when in doubt, do the right thing, and do it with confidence. One of the biggest responsibilities a leader shoulders is to make decisions and the issues are rarely simple. What I have learned is that doing the right thing for your customers, partners and your team is always the most robust choice.

But how do we decide what is the right thing? I believe values can help us here. Leadership has to be built on a foundation of values. While vision gives direction, values set the boundaries. Values help us in making decisions at times of crisis.

For example, in any business one of the chief responsibilities of the leader is to make a profit. This can be done in the right way, such as by making the operations more efficient, building relations with suppliers and customers and creating a great product that people want; or the wrong way by taking a shortcut, such as compromising on quality to cut costs. For me, compromise is out of question, even if it is an easier option. The reason is clear—it is not the right thing to do. It is a boundary that my values have set for me—that playing to win is not the same as playing dirty.

Besides, I believe that in the long run, doing the right thing would bring success.

While vision gives direction, values set the boundaries. Values help us in making decisions at times of crisis

Determination

Leaders must constantly make and meet aggressive commitments. So determination is needed to develop high expectations and then meet them. A leader who can demand more from himself or herself can also expect more from others. That is why my second principle has been to stay determined; it is critical.

Let me share how we do this at Nissan. As I write this, we are expanding our dealer network. A step-by-step approach is necessary to building relations with partners and training staff. My team members are travelling around India every day. The work takes time but I am always encouraging the team, urging them to stay determined and be optimistic about our bright future.

No matter what the compulsion, there is one thing which should never change and that is your strong determination to stay the course and win.

Diversity

Today, many of us work in multicultural, multinational and diverse work environments. We work with teams of people who come from different places, speak different languages and report into different hierarchies with varied targets and incentives. To lead them we should aim to embrace diversity.

Having worked in different industries and in different countries has helped me appreciate the value of diversity and has also taught me to not place any limits on myself. As leaders, we need to have a lot more empathy and sensitivity—not just for people who are similar to us in race and mindsets, but also for those from others countries and cultures. We need to be able to respond and interact with people from many different backgrounds at the same time. We need to learn to be open-minded and expand our cultural boundaries. To accomplish
this, we must strive to create borderless organisations
and influence through knowledge. Also, we need to be active instead of reactive, and shape ideas instead of responding to them.

Your leadership style

“Leadership is a style,” said Jack Welch, the famous former Chairman and CEO of GE. This thought has influenced and guided me in my journey as a leader. I believe that successful leaders endeavour to develop a style that is true to their personality. They all pursue and deliver their goals, but they have their own unique way of providing direction, implementing plans and inspiring people.

The lesson here is to not try to copy anyone else—rather to work on our own unique style. If you succeed in this, your leadership will shine through.

My personal experience

Looking back, my career has been very varied. I started out in the plastic industry, specifically in petrochemicals. Later, I was invited to run a car transmissions manufacturer. Along the way I worked in Germany, China, and Indonesia, as well as Japan. Now I am part of Nissan’s top management team and the head of the Africa, Middle East and India with a mission to expand the company’s business across the region. I have enjoyed every phase of my career.

What my experience has taught me is that I should not limit myself. Experiences in different fields and with different people provide great value. They equip me with knowledge, a broad perspective and a useful network. But I have to stay humble, flexible and thoughtful while staying determined and loyal to my values.

This was first published in the April 2015 issue of Complete Wellbeing.

The post How to create your unique style of leadership appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

There is a certain aura that surrounds him. You cannot escape his piercing eyes, his glowing face, his energetic demeanour and his 1000 watt smile. His responses are spontaneous and unpretentious and yet there’s a charm about him that makes him endearing. Meet Robin Sharma, the man who lives on his own terms, and shows you how you too can do the same…

Manoj khatri: Let’s start with The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari. What inspired you to write such a book? Just like the protagonist, you too were a practising lawyer. So it seems to be an autobiographical account… are you the monk?

Robin Sharma: Yes, a lot of Julian Mantle’s story is my story. So you’re right. I was a litigation lawyer by profession. The challenge I faced was that I was living someone else’s life. I was living the life that society had sold me on the true meaning of success. I was well educated, I had a lovely office, I had two law degrees… and yet when I’d wake up in the morning, I’d feel completely empty and frustrated and disconnected with my purpose and my true values. So yes, Julian Mantle is me in many ways. Thankfully, I didn’t have a heart attack. But I went on my own odyssey and started searching—I wanted to understand what are the tools and what a life well lived is all about. And I made a profound transformation with what I learnt… about rewiring your mindset, rewiring your values and rewiring your behaviours. That’s what inspired me to write The Monk…

And it started as nothing more than a dream, I was laughed at. I think if you’re not being laughed at a lot, you’re not doing very much. I had a vision, and all I had going for me was my instinct, my gut. And I knew that people will be inspired by this book, they will connect with it and it will help transform them and help them become what they want to be. So I just went out there, step-by-step, sharing the message of the book with one person at a time. Soon the book started travelling around the world through word-of-mouth and it became what it is now.

Manoj khatri: Where did you learn the ‘rewiring’ part?

Robin Sharma: Well, you can say that I’m the product of every book I’ve ever read, every conversation I’ve ever had and every place I’ve ever been to. So everything has been my teacher. Suffering has been my teacher. Success has been my teacher. My kids have been my teacher. The taxi driver in Mumbai who told me that guests are God and that’s why he treats every single person as the most important in the world… he has been my teacher. So for The Monk… I got my inspiration from books, experiences and conversations and a lot of time just spent in solitude, in self-reflection.

Manoj khatri: It’s evident that The Monk… came about as a result of a transformation within you. And so did all the success afterwards. What does success mean to you?

Robin Sharma: I think that as we go more out into the world, it becomes even more important to stay alone. So what I try to do is spend most of my time with my family, my close friends, my team, my books, my journal… and in nature with my thoughts. I don’t watch a lot of TV. I don’t spend a lot of my time in restaurants. This way I stay connected with my core values and my core mission so that it doesn’t get diluted by the world around me. I think once you’re successful, what you want to do is protect your vision, conserve your energy and safeguard your values.

Manoj khatri: You seem to be absolutely clear about your priorities in life. But that’s what most people struggle with. They know that it’s important for them to give time to their families, their friends, their health and yet they seem to always put these lower in the list of priorities… many fear that they may not be able to fulfil their role as a good parent/spouse and so on unless they work hard and long. What advice do you have for those who are faced with such a dilemma?

Robin Sharma: Well, I say this with great respect, but most people haven’t made the time to think about what they want. And let’s go to the neurobiology behind this. It’s because we have a neurobiological instinct to follow what everyone else is doing. So, hundreds of years ago, when there was a threat of leaving the herd and being eaten by a cheetah, that instinct served us. But now we’re in Mumbai, Calcutta, or Chennai and we haven’t taken the time to think of what’s most important to us. We don’t know our own priorities; we don’t know our own values; we don’t have a vision. A lot of people say to me, “I’m too busy to do my vision.” But actually their busyness is just an addiction to mask the fact that they are really bored. If you don’t know what’s important to you then you’re going to have to fill the hours with too much TV and too much busyness. So how do you to avoid that? Number one, you do something as simple as planning. Take the time to write a one-page plan and ask yourself [I talk about it in my books] what five things must happen between now and the end of this year for this to be the best year you’ve ever had in your life. I call it my ‘big five.’ Every morning you look at your big five priorities and then you commit to them.

Number two, you look at your goals. How many people set goals for each quarter of the year and then build a schedule around advancing these goals? It’s all about the execution. People say, “Well, these ideas in The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari and The Leader Who Had No Title don’t work. But no idea works unless you do the work. So you’ve got to execute. Each day you’ve got to advance your priorities versus living the priorities of the world. You’ve got to turn off the TV or say no to every social engagement. You have to find a vision that burns inside you so much that you are willing to say NO to the entertainment, in order to manifest your vision. Study any great master and you’ll find that they didn’t spend the best hours of their days in distraction; instead they spent all their time pursuing their craft and their dream.

Manoj khatri: What is the biggest challenge to pursue your dream?

Robin Sharma: I think it is to leave the herd—it is one of the biggest challenges we face. We spend the best hours of our best days following the herd around us. And we think that just because most people spend their best hours watching TV, or sending text messages, we think this is how you live a life. And just because most people complain and give away their power, we think this is how you live. Yet, all masters and all leaders have one thing in common: they have the guts to leave the herd and live their life on their own terms—without any regard to what anyone else was doing.

Manoj khatri: Talking about leadership… how do you define it? And how can a leader strike a balance between her commercial goals and the human development aspect?

Robin Sharma: No matter what you do—run a company, make films or clean toilets—you can still show leadership. The number one way we give away our power is that we think we don’t have any. How many people say: I’m not the Managing Director or I’m not the boss so I can’t make a difference. I met a woman in South Africa, who washed people’s toilets and she thought hers was the most important job in the world. And she worked like Picasso painted. A job is only a job if we choose to see it as a job. All work has dignity, all work is noble. Whether you cook, you clean toilets, sweep streets, see it as a craft and see it as honourable. Make it better everyday. Inspire people by your mastery. So my message is: no matter what you do in your own work, see it as your craft and pursue mastering it everyday—because all work is a chance to express your creativity. All work is a chance for you to meet your fears and transcend them. All work is a chance for you to inspire other human beings. Therefore all work is chance for you to change the world.

Coming to your question… you asked how should leaders align the competing objectives business goals and the human responsibility. Well, I actually think they are not competing. The job of a leader is to grow more leaders. If you’re not inspiring the people around you and helping them do their best work, you’re not leading. But here’s my point. If you spend your days in inspiring and developing talent, encouraging the discouraged, helping them do what they never thought was possible… they are going to wow their customers, they’re going to be more productive, they’re going to meet their vision, they’re going to give their heart and soul to your business. What’s that going to do to the profitability?

Manoj khatri: I have not a single doubt that this is absolutely correct. But any transformation takes time—there is a lag between when you begin to do this and when it begins to show results. How does one develop faith?

Robin Sharma: Yeah, you’ve got to have the guts to believe in yourself when no one else believes in you. India is the land of the great Mahatma Gandhi. When he started the salt march, he was an army of one. All he had going for him was his conviction. And where does that come from? Sometimes you just don’t know. You just have to have a dream for your job, a dream for your life. And have the guts to connect with that. How do you stay true to that? Well, you write about it in your journal, which actually deepens your commitment. You get up early and you pray, meditate, visualise. Read great business books and autobiographies and stay inspired and block out negativity. When the critic says, “This will never work,” dismiss the critic. And if you get knocked down because you fail, you just get back up. And the more you do that, the stronger you get. And if you start advancing towards your vision everyday, you start to get some traction. You get some momentum. Like Gandhi… everybody who started following Gandhi empowered him and his vision. Right now, when I look at the global movement around The Monk… and The Leader… on social media, I get inspired to keep going. I could retire right now. So what’s keeping me going is that I’m starting to get more traction. More than ever before, people are saying to me they are making the transformation. So, step-by-step, when you start to get the results—which you eventually will, because success is a numbers game—you start to believe in your vision.

Manoj khatri: What are the five most important things you do to stay inspired and focused on your vision?

Robin Sharma: The first thing is just an idea: I’m not a victim. I show leadership. I don’t play victim and I own the results of my life. I take absolute responsibility. I’m not a cat or a dog. Victims make excuses. Leaders deliver results. If you look for excuses you’ll find them.

If you say, “I read The monk… but I can’t do it because I’m too busy paying my mortgage,” you will get to live out that excuse for the rest of your life. So it’s an idea but the more you think about it, the more it becomes a belief. Do not be a victim, show leadership and get big things done.

Second thing I do: I live in a bubble. I don’t want to live in a real world and I don’t live in a real world. Who wants to live in a real world? Because there, most people are victims, most people are negative. In the real world, most people gossip, and spend their best hours SMSing… I live in a bubble, a pristine bubble of absolute focus around positivity and getting my dreams done. What does that mean in practice? It means that I don’t really watch the NEWS. If someone’s negative, I walk away politely; my friends are positive; my home is inspiring; I love great books; I don’t read cheesy magazines; I don’t pollute my mind with toxic thoughts or influences because those will affect my inspiration, my ideas, my focus and my results.

Number three: Ideas without execution are a delusion. I plan, I schedule every morning. I’m meticulous about where my hours go. This is not just inspiration, this is tactical. I have a one-year plan and I have a five-year plan; I look at my plan every morning and I set a weekly plan. In that way, I execute, nearly flawlessly, all my goals for every quarter. Like a great business is all about strategic plans and execution, I have dreams but dreams without plans and sequencing don’t get done. So, become a master of planning, sequencing, execution and time management. The hours that ordinary people waste, excellent performers use. People say, I’m too busy.” Well, how many hours do you spend on SMS or on your smart phone?

Number four: I learn. The world belongs to learners. You look at Picasso, Jack Welch, Richard Branson, Lady Gaga… these people are students of their crafts. So if you look at any genius, they have one thing in common: they know more about their craft more than anyone in their field in the history of the world. I spend a lot of time listening to audio books, watching videos, reading, learning.

Number five: I love to journal. Journaling is when I reconnect with my vision, my values. I record the highlights of my day, so I pour gratitude via dopamine into my brain so I feel better. How do I stay inspired? Being inspired isn’t lucky. You ‘make’ inspired. You don’t discover success, you create success. My journal allows me to record my awareness so I stay very clear on what’s important. My journal allows me to notice the miracles of my day and allows me to learn and download the benefits and miracles that each day presents.

Manoj khatri: So what’s your typical day like?

Robin Sharma: The most consistent thing that I do is that I get up at 5am and I journal. That is the most consistent thing ever. I love having a cup of coffee… you know that its nature’s number one antioxidant and it boosts brain function? And with coffee, I write. I write about my victories, my gratitude, reconnect with my goals and how I’m feeling. And I always exercise first thing in the morning to kick-start my day. And then sometimes I do some meditation, but not consistently. The only consistent thing is the journaling, the exercising, and the reading.

Manoj khatri: Finally, what is your idea about the purpose of life?

Robin Sharma: I think on the last hour of our last day, when we look back and survey our life, what would have defined our life will not be the watch on our wrist, our social standing, the title on our business card and our net worth.

I suggest only two things will matter.

Number one: Who did you become? Were you fearless? Did you achieve a level of self mastery? Did you think great thoughts? Were you positive? Did you have excellent, strong character?

Number two: How many people did you help? How many lives did you touch? What value did you create through your creativity and productivity? In other words, did you leave the world better than you found it? My dad used to recite the words of the great Indian poet, Nobel laureate Rabindranath Tagore. He said to me, “Son, when you were born you cried while the world rejoiced. Well Robin, live your life in such a way that when you die, the world cries while you rejoice.”

So purpose is about remembering that before you know it, it will all be dust. It’s time to step up and do great work that will change the world. It’s time to use your life not just for your own selfish needs but to inspire other people and to create value for other people and to build A FANTASTIC WORLD. And just because other people don’t think like this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t, if you want to become the Picasso of your life.

Manoj khatri: That’s a beautiful thought. Thank you so much Robin, for sharing your inspiring ideas with us.

Robin Sharma: Thanks for the opportunity, Manoj.

The post “Victims make excuses. Leaders deliver results” — Robin Sharma appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Published by: Rupa Publications

ISBN: 978-8129136824

Pages: 288

Price: INR 295

Almost the entire literature in the area of leadership and management tends to focus on the performance and the efficiency of managers. Sibichen Mathew is of the opinion that “true learning can take place not by looking at the right traits, but by analysing the wrong ones.”  Thus was born the premise for When the Boss is Wrong, which contains 50 different dimensions of bad leadership and their ramifications for people and organisations.

Sibichen’s aim with this “systematic inquiry” has been to create unique prescriptions for “wrong” bosses, and solutions for their “suffering” subordinates. Using researches and studies exemplify the findings that Sibichen himself gathered over years of experience—through interviewing well-known company heads, questionnaires about bosses and observing behaviours in his own workplace. What results is a study dotted with real life anecdotes and cutting across many kinds of workplaces.

When the boss is wrong is both informative as well as enjoyable at the same time.

In a chapter, “Mr Boss, you are petty!”, Sibichen lists out revealing responses of middle-level managers who were asked why their boss is petty. The answers ring a bell and make you want to try the prescriptions, instantly!

“Coping with a young boss” and “Coping with an old boss”—two chapters that emphasise on how a tectonic shift in working style [between generations] may wreck the boats of senior employees’ or bust the myth that seniority assures wisdom.

Perhaps, the most humorous idea in the book is the one that shows how stages similar to the “ashrams” can be seen in the professional lives of many people, often detrimental to the organisation. After all, how much good can a boss, who is in a state of nirvana after losing his young “fizz” over two decades, do? “Which animal are you and your boss?” will make you smile, before making you feel not-so-flattered.

While most of the book throws at you unique ideas and experiences of working professionals, some [though not any less significant] may not be unheard of. Sibichen begins with how you could have absorbed some of the personality traits of your boss and goes on to talk about “Runaway Bosses” and “Snoopervisors”, those low on EQ or high on “ditching ethics”. You will be encouraged to do a thorough self-examination!

The lessons at the end of each chapter are prescriptions for the bosses, precautions for the employees and precepts for the organisation. Some deserve heeding, like–to remember that “you leave a trail of whatever you do in the organisation”, “images that are bought, never match images which are gained through excellence” and “the courage and preparedness to unlearn is a necessary prerequisite for creativity”.

Mostly, the lessons are simplistic and commonsensical. The ones that contain interviews of top bosses of well-known organisations, tests to take [like the one that checks how much your present boss knows you] or boxes with questions to ponder upon are interesting.

When the Boss is Wrong is a long book. Some chapters overlap. Some ideas may confuse too. For instance, Narcissism and Authoritarianism are otherwise seen as negative traits but are “excused” in a chapter which discusses essential traits of “Messiah Bosses”. The “signs of recovery” of an organisation after suffering at the hands of any kind of a bad boss are the same across all chapters.

Underlying the narrative of the book appears a picture of a good boss—who telephones all the employees when a bomb blast occurs in a city, or who credits the team before his own managerial skills. And overarching this exercise is a question for all bosses—how many of you really care about what others think of you? While the bosses think it over, all you can do is “make your bosses smile with your smile”, especially if, in your organisation, “no good work goes unpunished”.

This was first published in the October 2015 issue of Complete Wellbeing.

The post When the Boss is Wrong By Sibichen K Mathew appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Published by: Wisdom Tree

ISBN: 978-8183283861

Pages: 240

Price: INR 225

You are not supposed to judge a book by its cover. But how can you not think of Carl Jung’s The Red Book, or more controversially Chairman Mao’s The Little Red Book when you read the title of Awdhesh Singh’s latest? Except, in this case, there is a ‘Secret’, which is revealed in a bitter-sweet way.

The Secret Red Book of Leadership is a thought-provoking deconstruction of the ‘art’ of leadership and the personality of a leader. Each of the six parts is generously full of chapters, with each chapter containing not just a compilation of the author’s thoughts but also his unique conclusions. The tone combines wit with wisdom, largely free of professional jargon. The lucid prose is rife with illustrative references to world famous leaders, anecdotes from their lives, scientific allegories, cross connections with politics and even folktales from across the world. And while you enjoy the canvas of his scholarship, mixing fun with larger philosophical questions of good versus evil, reason versus belief, you are bravely painted a picture of a real leader–what, why, why not and finally, how.

The book begins by describing how leaders are not born but created through cultivated behaviour and thoughts, balancing the within and the without. Using popular examples, Awdhesh shows how an out-of-box thinking, a magnetic personality, the right posturing, the ability to think on one’s feet, the willingness to assume responsibility and a single-minded focus make a leader shine distinct from the crowd. Thus, “Followership is the effect of leadership and not its cause.”

A unique section called Dilemma of Leaders elucidates the perpetual balancing act between contraries that all leaders need to battle. Take means-ends for instance. While every end is actually the beginning of another end [thus making means and ends the same thing] a leader has to know that the end is more important than the means. He aims at the result, and often goes against what he essentially believes in. Many philosophies tell us how good is embedded in evil and evil is contained in each act of goodness. What becomes a leader’s greatest challenge, hence, is to conceal evil in the garb of goodness. There is also a perpetual conflict between the lower self and the higher self. Can a leader be moral if his people are immoral?

As for hatred and love, how can a leader avoid being hated by some, especially by those who did not benefit from his actions? Followers share the fortunes, not the sins, and the charisma of a leader lasts only as long as the followers’ belief in him lasts.

“Hatred is the emotional price leaders must pay for getting love and honour.” Then again, “No principle has a permanent place in life,” says Awdhesh, at the risk of overturning his own discourse, if only to bust the myths of leadership popularly floating around. This is where a very bold voice on leaders enters the narrative, and one which seeks to re-examine formulas and ‘how to’ quick-fixes in books, one myth-busting bullet point at a time. There are many myths that are dispelled and the narrative now borders on uncomfortable honesty. If you think you are a successful leader [or even a writer of leadership], you may just squirm in your seat!

Witty references from politics to literature are leant against in order to convince the reader to accept the correctness within all the political incorrectness, which we are surrounded by. Sarojini Naidu had aptly remarked once about how much it cost to keep Mahatma Gandhi in poverty. The poor, powerless and illiterate considered him a great leader, not a deceiver. Interesting, isn’t it?

The last two sections of the book deal with developing and practising leadership. Now this is the conventional self-help part. If it wasn’t for the anecdotal charm, perhaps this would not have stood out as different from other books on this subject. To say more about this section would dilute the effect of the previous ones on me.

Some readers may find this book too long for the wit it encompasses and a little repetitive too. But then, I give the length the benefit of doubt after having seen how the book views leaders inside-out through myriad prisms—of psychology, of circumstance, humanity and human nature and even divinity and spirituality. Those disciplines interconnect to offer us entertaining and informative psychoanalytical peeps into not just the minds of the leaders but also those of his followers. From Lincoln to Hitler, Gandhi to Lewis Carroll, poets to army generals, Nasruddin to Wilhelm Reich, Awdhesh, like a good leader, has gathered a pantheon of people to make us comprehend what he wants us to. While there is no deception here, in his own words, “The entire story is never told.”

And that is the ‘Secret’ which remains, still.

This was first published in the May 2015 issue of Complete Wellbeing.

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Myth 1 Leaders should encourage competition amongst their team members

Some leaders make people compete so they perform better by trying to outdo their teammates. This makes as much sense as telling the defender in a football team to compete with the striker rather than to work together to score goals.

Although competition is seen to influence people to go the extra mile and perform better, encouraging collaboration and using peoples’ collective strengths is a more productive approach. When people are inspired to make the team bigger than themselves, it leads to better teamwork and results.

Myth 2 Leaders should have full control and command over their followers

By having complete control over the team and issuing commands, some leaders get the sense that they have a better grip on the situation and can do things ‘their way’. In truth—and extensive research supports this—dictatorial leadership stifles innovation and people actually perform better when they are trusted to perform well.

Myth 3 Leaders should take an ‘ivory tower’ approach

Leaders who stay at head office and keep an elitist approach may think that they are gaining more respect from their employees. The reality is that in order to inspire people, you need to connect with them, which can happen more easily with face-to-face time. Additionally, leaders who are more involved have a better idea of the realities of the team’s working situation and find solutions to some of the daily obstacles.

Myth 4 Leaders should be charismatic

It is true that some leaders have sheer charisma. However, many leaders earn respect through their attitude, diligence, and capabilities. As my friend, Dr. Nido Qubein says, “it is authenticity, not charisma that counts.” Successful leaders are authentic.

Myth 5 True leaders are born leaders

Yes, some leaders are innately gifted with leadership qualities; however, most of them become leaders by experience, learning from mentors and having a burning desire to lead. Whether acquired or innate, leaders need to consciously hone their abilities to lead. And yes, leadership improves with experience.

Myth 6 Leaders are people who have been designated to a position of leadership

Leaders do not need a designated position to lead. They only need the right attitude and desire to lead. An organisation needs leaders at all levels.

Myth 7 Leaders need to know it all

The best leaders hire people who are smarter and skilled in other ways than themselves so that they can learn from them and work together to achieve the common goal. Great leaders realise that they do not know it all, and that in order for the team to perform at its peak, each member needs to contribute his or her own expertise. Leaders are aware that mistakes happen. However, they also understand that they must learn from these mistakes and take measures to prevent them in the future. Leaders know how to bounce back bigger and stronger after their mistakes.

Myth 8 Leaders should be older and more mature than the team they are leading

In some cases, age does bring the experience that is required to lead. However, it is not a prerequisite. There are many examples of young, capable, and energetic leaders that have provided fresh, new thinking to an organisation.

Myth 9 Leaders are egotistical and self-centered

Leaders require a sense of humility in order to understand that everything happens with the help of others. They need to appreciate that they are not the only drivers of success and that they require the rest of their team to reach their goals.

Myth 10 Leaders do not delegate high-level work

Great leaders create leaders, not followers. And they do so by being good role models and allowing their team to prove its ability by assigning important work. [Here’s how you can become a master delegator]

Effective leadership

Many prevalent leaders in society today have been influenced by these myths, whether it is because of the public media, what they have been taught in school, or a leader that they have worked with in the past. These myths can explain the lack of purpose that members of many organisations feel.

Counter to commonly-believed myths, effective leadership is…

• being a role model
• being a coach
• empowering others
• trusting and believing in the inherent abilities and gifts of team members
• encouraging collaboration instead of competition
• involving the team in the preparation of a clear vision and mission
• sincere praise of team members at every opportunity
• showing empathy and care
• rewarding excellence
• being result-oriented, not task-oriented
• exhibiting clear, ongoing, and positive communication

Effective leadership is the ability to inspire and catalyse the potential of the team. It is all about people. You share your success with them, tap into their talents, and show them how their work makes a difference. This way their work becomes far more than just making a livelihood. You arouse their curiosity to learn more, stretch their imagination by encouraging them to aim high and to make decisions.

Leadership is about making leaders of your followers. People learn best when they have to teach others, so it is about unleashing the spirit of empowerment and involvement. There is so much richness within each person to be discovered. Until it is discovered, it will forever be absent from the workplace. It is the role of effective leaders to nurture this richness.

You can avoid falling into the trap of these myths by being an effective leader. If you have a leader who operates from these myths, do not react to him or her but rather become the leader that he or she ends up looking up to.

The post What a leader is not appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

1. 1. Use the power of the pen. Recognition is the number one motivator. A simple thank you note is more important than money to most people. Open the fancy pen you got for your birthday and say thanks to the people who helped you succeed.
   2. Understand the importance of emotions. Feelings are a part of daily life and business. When people’s feelings are hurt, their performance suffers. So make sure you deal with these issues sooner rather than later.
   3. Be passionate. If you don’t love what you do, your team won’t either. Show them that you’re excited and watch them give their best at all times.
   4. Communicate effectively. If you don’t use effective communication skills, you may fail to motivate people and get the most out of them. Don’t be afraid to take a brush-up course and listen to hints from those who are in the positions you aspire to be in.
   5. Do a company evaluation at least once a year. Take inputs from your team. Ask them to respond in writing to important questions like, “What do we need to change?” and “What do we need to keep doing more often?”
   6. Create a healthy environment. Every new person in your team should feel welcome and comfortable. Appoint a mentor to assist the person. This helps build confidence and creates the motivation to go on.
   7. Balance your team’s skills sets. If everyone in a team is an innovator, nothing will get done. Similarly, a team of only implementers will create nothing new.
   8. Remember that customer service rocks. Value your clients and their needs. This is the key to successful business relationships.
   9. Take your team’s opinion. This shows them that their suggestions are valued and hence will put more energy and effort to achieve the target goal. Ask them what they think and you’ll get their dedication in return.
   10. Organise a knowledge lunch. Keep your team up-to-date by having a lunch meeting once a week or month. Getting together for things other than work helps them reconnect with each other.
   11. Deal appropriately with fear. Provide a forum to safely discuss any fears your team might have. When team members fear, they do not perform at their highest level.

1. 1. Inspire faith. You need to believe in what you and your company are doing, and to share the power of that belief with your team members.
   2. Pursue failure. Failure is not an ending; it is a stepping stone to the right answer. Stop beating yourself up for mistakes and see them as an opportunity to begin again with additional information, knowledge and experience.
   3. Take responsibility. You are responsible for everything that goes right, and anything that goes wrong. As it is rightly said, the fish stinks from the head down.
   4. Have fun. If your team members enjoy work and have fun, it is sure to reflect in their productivity and ultimately in your profits.
   5. Beware of invalidation. The number one motivation killer is making a team member feel less important. If you mistakenly say the wrong thing to someone, apologise immediately. You’ll look like a responsible leader rather than an insensitive bully.
   6. Maintain your composure under pressure. As Thomas Jefferson has said, “Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain cool and unruffled under all circumstances.”
   7. Keep yourself updated. To keep your skills sharp and get answers to difficult questions, get into a group of non-competing peers.
   8. Ask powerful questions. The right question at the right time can eliminate major problems or help a team member find the best answer available.
   9. Learn to deal with difficult people. There are specific techniques to deal with different types of people. Doing this effectively will maintain a healthy balance in your team.

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