“A mind too active is no mind at all”
– Theodore Roethke

The positive effects of regular meditation are well-documented: heart and respiration rate slow down, blood pressure drops, and symptoms of stress decrease as your body relaxes. It has been said that in order to meditate, we need three things: great faith, great perseverance and great questions. There are some practical considerations as well. It is helpful to get ready—physically and mentally. Meditating without preparing your body and mind is like stopping a car with the engine racing.

How to prepare yourself for meditation

Hatha yoga began as a way for yogis to prepare themselves for the demands of meditation. Before you begin, take some slow, deep breaths, followed by a few simple yoga postures [asanas] or stretches. Some people like to meditate to the sounds of soft music, chimes or a table fountain; others prefer quiet. Try both ways to see what works best for you.

As for positions, you have options there, too. Most people sit during meditation. If you are seated on a blanket or mat on the floor, sitting on a cushion helps keep your spine extended. If you are seated in a chair, make sure your knees are in level with your hips [you may wish to try putting your feet on a cushion]. Shoulders are relaxed and down away from your ears. Eyes may be closed or cast downward. Rest the back of your hands on your knees or in your lap, fingers slightly curled. You may wish to gently touch the tips of the thumbs and index fingers in jnana mudra, or “knowledge gesture”. This hand gesticulation represents the union of human and divine consciousness, a classic gesture that completes an energy circuit in the body and can enhance concentration. If you lie down, use a folded blanket or bolster under your knees and under your neck. Arms are by your sides, palms turned up, fingers slightly curled or in jnana mudra.

Begin with the basics

A basic meditation [dhyana] practice is to simply follow your breath. Repeat silently, “Breathing in, breathing out.” When thoughts arise—and they will, again and again—return to the breath or word. Shift position if you feel uncomfortable; don’t “tough it out”. You want your practice to be pleasant, not punishing. If you move, do so slowly and with awareness. Or instead, try focussing on an object [a rock or shell], a sound [bell or chime], counting [“one, two, three…”], a mantra [such as “peace,” “amen”] or an image [lotus flower, sunset, gemstone].

If you are new to meditation, practise for a few minutes at first; gradually, increase the time by five-minute increments.

1. Heart meditation

• Bring thumbs and forefingers together to form a triangle over your heart centre. [Hands can rest in your lap if that is more comfortable.]
• Exhale. Inhale through the nose. Exhale fully through the mouth.
• Repeat this breath for several rounds and allow your breath to return to normal.
• Lower your hands to your sides and ask yourself the question: If my heart were planted, what would it grow?”
• Let the question sit for a while. Then, breathe deeply as you envision an answer or an image.
• Keep your focus on the visualisation.
• Breathe.

2. Meditation of intent

This meditation focusses on combining three intentions: to nurture a strong and supple body; to develop a clear mind; and to cultivate a spirit filled equally with power, love, and wisdom.

• Inhale and repeat silently: “My body is strong and supple.”
• Exhale and repeat silently: “My mind is clear.”
• Inhale and repeat silently: “My spirit is filled with power, love and wisdom.”
• Exhale and repeat silently: “All in equal measure.”
• Breathe and feel the intention fill your entire being.

3. Lotus flower meditation

The lotus flower has long been a symbol of perfection, purity and simplicity. While the lotus blossom represents perfection and purity, its roots remain firmly grounded in the mud. The lotus flower reminds us that while we may strive for higher awareness from above, we can’t forget our vital physical connection to the earth below.

• Breathe deeply as you envision the glorious thousand-petal lotus blossom.
• Inhale and imagine the lotus blossom growing in your heart centre, the bridge between the three lower physical energy chakras and the three higher spiritual chakras.
• Exhale and acknowledge the connection between your physical body and cosmic consciousness.
• Breathe deeply and with each exhalation allow the lotus flower to continue unfolding.
• Go deeply within and gaze at the beautiful open flower. Note that a gift—an image, an insight, a message or a vision—awaits you.
• Ask yourself: “What gift does the lotus flower hold for me?”
• Continue breathing, focusing on the precious gift that the lotus flower of your heart has brought you. What use will you make of this gift?
• Put the gift in a safe place within, aware that it will remain there for whenever you need its special qualities.

4. Om meditation

If you have never chanted before and feel self-conscious, start by repeating “Om” silently at first; as you feel more comfortable, begin chanting aloud, gradually increasing the volume. The sound of Om is composed of four parts: ah [corresponds to the waking state]; oh [corresponds to the dreaming state]; mmm [corresponds to the deep sleeping state]; and silence [represents ultimate reality].

• Inhale deeply. On an exhalation begin chanting the sound of Om. Remember the four parts: ah/oh/mmm/silence
• Pause. Inhale deeply.
• Chant for two more rounds. Increase the volume with each round.
• When you have completed chanting, return your breath to normal and repeat silently: “My spirit overflows with luminous energy.”

5. Resting meditation

• Breathe deeply a few times.
• Allow who you truly are to be revealed by silently saying: “I am.”
• Allow these words to help you focus your awareness.
• Repeat as often as you wish.

6. Walking meditation

You may wish to do this meditation outdoors or in a spacious room. Stand with your spine comfortably extended. Your gaze is focussed on a spot in front of you. Arms may be by your sides or in front of the heart centre in prayer position. In addition to all the other benefits of meditation, walking meditation also increases circulation in the legs and feet and counteracts the effects of too much sitting.

• Breathe deeply.
• Begin walking by raising your right foot as you inhale. Exhale as you place the foot down in front of you.
• Inhale and raise your left foot. Exhale and place it down in front of you.
• Take each step slowly and deliberately. Be aware of how you raise your leg. Pay attention to any sensations as you lift and lower each leg.
• Maintain your focus and awareness. Nothing else matters, only lifting your foot and placing it back onto the ground.
• Concentrate on each step and the rhythm of your breath.
• Take a step and repeat silently: “I have no destination.”
• Take the next step and repeat silently: “This is all about the journey.”
• Continue until your journey feels complete.

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“The delicate balance of mentoring someone is not creating them in your own image, but giving them the opportunity to create themselves.”
—Steven Spielberg

Emperor Chandragupta Maurya, Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King Jr, Dr APJ Abdul Kalam, Mark Zuckerberg, Richard Branson have something in common—they all had mentors they looked up to and learned from.

In my career as a former banker and now as a coach and trainer, I have had my share of mentoring and being mentored. One of my mentors is a former client of mine, a septuagenarian with very rich and varied experience. Even though I quit the banking sector many moons ago, I have kept in touch with him and visit him regularly to seek advice on work and life.

From a broader perspective, I think humans have survived and evolved to this stage not just because of our intelligence and perseverance but also because of our innate desire to be of help to someone else and to give back what we have earned and learned.

The benefits of having a mentor

Many different studies point to the fact that people who succeed greatly tend to have a great mentor. There are several benefits of having a mentor. Here are three that apply to everyone.

1. Nobody knows it all. We can learn something from someone who has been there and done it. Learning is not just about acquiring skills but also involves gaining perspectives, ideas and wisdom.

2. We are blind to our weaknesses. Because it is difficult to see our own shortcomings, we need another wise soul to point them out to us. A good mentor spots our weak areas and points them out to us so that we can improve upon them.

3. Ratification and encouragement. We need someone seasoned who we can bounce off our ideas to and receive constructive feedback from. We also need someone to encourage us when our chips are down and we are in the mood to give it up.

Before becoming a mentee

Mentors are usually busy people and most of them agree to being one out of their desire to help. In most cases, no money exchanges hands and therefore the benefit drawn by both parties is intangible. Finding and working with the right mentor can make a big difference to your career and life. It is therefore important that you prepare yourself before you begin the process of finding a mentor. Here are a few ways in which you can prepare to becoming a worthy mentee.

• Know clearly why you need a mentor. Do you need someone to help you solve an immediate problem? Or do you want to learn a specific skill? Perhaps you want someone to guide you in a particular area of your career.
• Be prepared to introspect. A good mentor is candid and outspoken and would call a spade a spade. You have to be prepared to approach the relationship with an open mind and be ready to face your shortcomings and work on them.
• Get committed. Your mentor is willing to make time to assist you despite his busy schedule. The least you can do is value the relationship and commit to doing whatever it takes to achieve your goals.

How do you find a great mentor?

Once you are clear about why you need a mentor, you are ready to look for one. A mentor could be someone in your field who you look up to or perhaps, someone senior in your organisation. You could even approach  a friend or a colleague you respect. May be you discover someone via networking. In some cases, a mentor could also be younger to you.

A mentor could be someone in your field who you look up to or perhaps. In some cases, a mentor could also be younger to you

If you are looking for someone to help you solve a specific problem or situation, consider someone who has been there before. If your purpose is to learn a particular skill, your best bet would be people who have excelled in that field. If you are looking for long-term guidance with regard to your career or your life, then you are better off looking for someone older, successful and more experienced than you. The following tips will help when approaching a potential mentor:

• Do not hesitate. Contrary to what you may think, most successful people are willing to help, if approached correctly.
• Be clear and specific. A vague discussion is likely to have a dissatisfying outcome with no implementation plan. Explain your objectives and ambition and the type of assistance you require.
• Be ready for rejection. Your potential mentor may not have the time or see a purpose and may decline your request in the first meeting itself. In such a case, don’t dwell on the rejection and instead accept it and move on. There are others who will grant you your request.
• Be prepared to withdraw. The person you meet might turn out to be very different from what you imagined her/him to be like. Your values or ideals may not match and you may not find a connection. In such a case, it is best to respectfully withdraw your request and continue your search for another, more aligned mentor.

If you are looking for someone to help you solve a specific problem or situation, consider someone who has been there before

How to get the most from your time with mentor

Here are a few pointers to keep in mind in order to build a fulfilling and lasting relationship with your mentor.

• Be serious. It is important to be punctual, presentable and attentive. Switch off your phone and other gadgets when you meet your mentor. It also helps to take notes and ask relevant questions. If assignments are given, complete them on time and follow up on your commitments.
• Make it convenient. Make sure it is you who is doing the travelling and adjusting rather than your mentor. You have to make yourself available even if your mentor asks you to meet him at the jogging track at 6:30 am.
• Give regular updates. Provide regular feedback and keep your mentor involved in the process. It is, however, not advisable to bother your mentor with frivolous updates or unimportant happenings. The key is to let your mentor know that you are following up on the advice s/he has provided and also if it is working out for you or perhaps you need to tweak or improve your effort.
• Offer assistance. Your mentor may require help or assistance regarding something she/he is not very well conversant or comfortable with. It is a good practice to offer help or assistance if you are in a position to do so.
• Express gratitude. Having respect and gratitude for someone is not enough—you must make it known in the right manner. In most cases, this is all your mentor gets in return for her efforts and there is no reason for you to be miserly when expressing it!

Finding a good mentor is the most effective way of quickening your pace of learning and hastening your journey towards professional success. All you need is an open mind, a commitment to applying the wisdom you receive and a grateful heart.

The post A Success Coach Tells You How to Get Yourself a Mentor appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.