Pre-vacation

Most of our vacations follow a predictable pattern and style, from the planning to the actual vacationing. The preparation phase of a vacation is exciting. It takes considerable creativity to imagine everything that might go wrong while travelling [snowfall in summer, food poisoning, sudden craving for theplas in Heidelberg] before deciding what to stuff in your suitcases. The day of departure is the most hectic: emptying the fridge, stuffing door-gaps with newspapers to keep the dust out of the house, making frantic calls to newspaper and milk delivery guys, triple checking if all the doors and windows are locked before rushing off to the airport or train station. When you are roughly halfway to your destination, you are suddenly seized with the nagging feeling that you might have forgotten to turn the gas cylinder off. You spend the remaining journey imagining a charred house that will greet you when you are back and a life thereafter spent in penury.

Nonetheless, in my experience, a vacation has four stages: when, where, I can’t believe I’m finally here, and phew! It’s good to be home.

Most of our vacations follow a predictable pattern and style, from the planning to the actual vacationing

When

Deciding when to take a break is governed by a lot of factors. If you have school and college-going kids who are still not embarrassed to be seen with their parents, you plan your getaway to coincide with their holidays. Nowadays, however, most children spend their vacations in coaching classes and other activities that are supposed to turn them into super-achieving clones. Regardless, family vacations do happen, and planning them can be a nightmarish experience.

Contrarily, if you are unattached, so to speak, planning when to take a trip is a relatively personal decision. You simply wait for the symptoms to show up. These include restlessness, driving your colleagues insane with ‘I-could-so-do-with-a-break’ whining, and extreme envy at your just-returned-from-Leh friend’s travel photos on Facebook.

Where

This is usually dictated by three things: ‘must-visit places’ listicles that you browse while pretending to work, vacation pictures shared on Facebook or Instagram by “friends” you’ve never met, and a long, hard look at your bank balance and all your outstanding bills. Gone are those days when people could throw darts on the world atlas to decide their next holiday destination. The passionately patriotic Indian these days keenly follows prime ministerial itineraries to draw inspiration for new destinations.

A vacation has four stages: when, where, I can’t believe I’m finally here, and phew! It’s good to be home.

I can’t believe I’m finally here

So you’ve finally arrived at your dream destination. You congratulate yourself on booking the ‘romantique suite’ at the so-called heritage hotel after weeks of sifting through listings on travel websites and burning midnight oil extracting the essence from conflicting reviews. And it turns out to be a matchbox in a rundown building with a sewer-side view [your room with a view]. Not the type to waste time on heartbreaks, a DSLR camera slung around your neck, you set out immediately clutching maps and lists of must-dos [usually in multiples of 10] that you downloaded from someone’s blog.

You risk being disowned by the Worldwide Association of Hyper Tourists till you record the most ‘out-of-the-world’ experiences in a day and get herded around like cattle in tour buses. When you get time from watching the sunrise from the top of a volcano and the sunset from behind shrubs filled with rare snakes, you pose and preen in front of monuments, fountains and the Armani store, hoping one of them turns out to be a superb profile picture that fetches you hundreds of likes on Facebook.

It’s not a vacation well-spent till you exclaim “Oh god! I’ve put on so much weight” every few hours. It’s not fun till you feel guilty of having too much fun. Within a few days of hectic vacationing and plying yourself with meals so exotic that you can’t even pronounce their names, you start craving ghar ka khaana and the comfort of your own bed.

It’s not a vacation well-spent till you exclaim “Oh god! I’ve put on so much weight” every few hours

Phew! It’s good to be home

Vacations may be cruel reminders of how boring our regular life is. But when you finally walk into your living room—nursing bunions, lower back pain and a tan that makes you look like a roasted aubergine—you inhale the stale air and exclaim, “It’s so good to be home!” That’s the cruel irony of our lives: we long to escape our mundane lives and when we finally do, we start missing our boring yet comforting routine.

Then you commit the biggest mistake of weighing yourself. After you’ve managed to scream the daylights out of your neighbours and the pigeons on your balcony, you Google “how to lose weight in 10 days” and put yourself on a punishing diet. Within days of washing kilos of unwashed laundry, restoring the house back to its shining glory, eating 20 grams of carrots and 6 raisins for all your meals, going through zillions of unread spam and emails, and putting extra hours at the office to finish all your pending work, your vacation euphoria becomes a distant memory.

You are completely drained. You flop on your chair and exclaim, “Damn, I am so tired, I could certainly do with a vacation!” And the cycle begins all over again.

A version of this was first published in the December 2015 issue of Complete Wellbeing.

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Something similar happens with my laptop. Often it just ‘hangs’ and  no key I press seems to make it work. But all I have to do is ‘hard boot’ the computer and it starts working as though nothing had ever been the matter!

Do humans need to reboot?

This set me thinking… just like our electronic devices need a complete system reboot once in a while to function optimally, isn’t it the same with us as well? There are times when there is an overload in our lives—of information, emotions and endless chores. And everything seems to keep on piling. Isn’t it inevitable then, that even this inimitable brain of ours is going to just ‘hang’ occasionally?

Indeed, our systems do get overloaded and do ‘hang’. But being such amazing creatures, we work even on a ‘hung’ system. Our mind may be fatigued with the sheer processing it has to do, but we still manage to carry on with our tasks. Our hearts may be overwhelmed with the daily barrage of feelings and emotions, but cover them to face each new day. The abuse we heap on our poor exhausted bodies is beyond description. So driven are we with our tasks, duties, responsibilities and priorities that we carry on with a full load for as much as we can, until our body comes crashing down with a major illness!

The incident with my phone got me thinking… I asked myself, do we need to wait till we reach that stage of exhaustion before we take a break? Does it not make infinitely more sense to simply ‘reboot’ our systems occasionally so that we are ready to face the world ‘as good as new’?

So how does one reboot one’s system?

How do we disengage ourselves from the multiple connections that we make with the world outside? Sure, one can go off for a long holiday or retreat, but that isn’t always possible. So, how do we reboot and recharge?

I was struggling with the ‘how’ for a very long time and could not come up with any ideas. One day, sitting at the airport terminal with my flight delayed by two hours, I had my ‘eureka’ moment. I realised this moment was what I had, and it was up to me how I made the most of it. So instead of opening my laptop and working on that presentation, I decided to just close my eyes and let my thoughts meander. And as I felt my mind unwind, it occurred to me that it wasn’t all that difficult to reboot my system.

Here are some ways in which I have eventually learnt to do it.

Meditate. This is one of the best ways in which you can withdraw from the world and retreat into yourself. There are some people who will tell you that you need to meditate an hour daily, while others will say that meditation is a discipline which must be followed rigidly. Sure, if you can find the space to prioritise an hour’s meditation daily, nothing like it! But most of us, who are slaves to our schedules, cannot! No matter. Whatever time you can devote for meditation, wherever you are, it’s good enough. Just close your eyes, clear your mind, and BREATHE. Even if you can squeeze in 10 minutes of it in your day, it will be a quick reboot for your system. So do it!

Treat yourself to a Spa Day! A good facial, a leisurely pedicure or an aromatherapy treatment not only rejuvenates your body, but also puts you in a relaxed state of mind. It acts like a speed-breaker and slows down the breakneck speed with which you are going ahead with life. If you don’t believe me, just experience the light-heartedness that you feel after a massage or a facial. It is truly uplifting.

Connect to Nature. Mother Earth provides us with all the energy we need to go through life. Just connecting to her is a wonderful way of recharging yourself. Whether it is taking a few minutes to smell the roses on your balcony, or a moonlit walk along the beach, or simply watching the horizon as you travel down the highway to your office is enough. The important thing is to let go of all other thoughts whirling in your mind and connect completely with Nature for those few moments.

Take a day off. Do nothing but laze around. I know, I know, this is hard for most of us. We would rather save that leave for something that might come up later. I have this problem myself, and can tell you from experience. As my husband says, I can never relax or let go. Even on a weekend, I just cannot relax. I will check if something has to be done and if there’s nothing, I start cleaning up! There’s always something to be done
So one day he told me, “Just take a day off! It’s okay if you waste a day!” With much reluctance, I did that. I was amazed at how good I felt at the end of the day. So if possible, prioritise yourself for a change and take a day off. Preferably your holiday on a weekday, when the kids will be at school and your spouse is at work. Just loaf about, browse through magazines, listen to music or watch TV. Do all the things that you normally don’t ‘waste’ your time doing. The amount of good it will do to your mind and your energy levels will be well worth wasting that holiday.

Have a gadget free weekend getaway! When you get that long weekend, take off to a place where you have no mobile connectivity and where your portable internet doesn’t work. Most of us are tied to our gadgets, and invaluable as they are in running our lives optimally, they do have a huge flipside, and that is that they don’t allow us to relax. So for a weekend, leave your electronic extensions behind you, and just relax. Trust me, the world will not come to an end if you decide to take a break!

These are just a few ways I have figured out how I can snatch a few minutes to rejuvenate and recharge myself. Some of these may work for you, some may not. You know best how you can reboot your system and get it ‘good as new’. A rested mind and body will allow you to face life with joy, energy, and enthusiasm. Happy rebooting!

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“What will happen to work when I am gone? How will it go on?” We tend to build these questions towards disastrous consequences and convince ourselves that we are indispensable. We find contentment in remaining ‘switched on’ 24×7 but see catastrophe in even daring to think about switching off for a few days. Over the years, I have learnt that no one is indispensable, and guess what? If that weren’t the truth, then one would be as afraid of taking a vacation as one would be of dying. Given a fair chance, one will find equal talent and dedication in the next co-worker.

I didn’t realise the importance of taking a vacation and time off work until a few years ago, when I found myself forced into a trip with my friends. This was in order to attend a close friend’s wedding in Belgium. Right from the start, there were speculations about my arrival. I have a reputation for last minute drop-outs and by now my family and friends have made peace with my absence. I had cold feet from the time I booked my tickets for the 10-day long vacation. Knowing the wedding scene forward, I anticipated that I would be reprimanded for even using my phone. But I can now admit that those 10 days away from work was the best thing that I had done for myself in years and I vowed to take two weeks out every year to spend time with my family and friends. I realised that the toughest part was in getting there; once there, a new world of adventure opened up.

Here are some useful tips to my fellow workaholics who would rather be at work than anywhere else.

I have found that when people show care and commitment for their job, they get it back bountiful

Involve others in your fear of letting go of work

I could not help but keep rambling about how nervous I was about attending the wedding, knowing there would be reprimand on escaping from late night parties to check my mails and not to mention the time difference. I realised that the more I expressed my discontent about taking the vacation, the more supportive my colleagues became about me taking it. Reverse psychology never seems to get outdated. “Don’t worry, we will handle everything.” When I explained the challenges about not being accessible, they assured me that they would cover for me and contact me only if there was an emergency. I got support in winding up my work and in assigning duties in my absence. I have found that when people show care and commitment for their job, they get it back bountiful.

The first day is tough

I never lifted my head from the time I boarded the plane to the time I reached my hotel, covering as much work as I could. Keeping my phones and laptop out of reach was the toughest thing to do, since I already had warnings about carrying my work into the wedding. I remember taking long bathroom breaks to quickly read my mails and check on work. But the compulsion eased on the second day and continued to decrease in intensity in the days that followed. My need to be on the job all the time diminished and the fact that I had the option to sleep in and not wake up by clockwork was my first delight. I was pleasantly surprised to see that work was actually going on without me and a lot of people got their due importance in my absence.

Because I was occupied from the time I woke up to the time that I went to sleep, work stayed off my mind

Different time zones or low connectivity helps switch off

The one thing that really worked for me was the time difference between India and Europe. It helped ease my nerves about work and made me feel less guilty for having fun at work hours. When I would wake up, the team was already ahead of me and I just needed the half hour of my morning tea-time to see that all was in order and continue the rest of the day in peace. My phone calls turned into instant messages and then my messages turned into one or two emails a day. And by day four, I was officially off work. I have kept this as a tip when I plan my vacations, the further the distance and the greater the time difference, the better it is for me to really get off work and unwind. And when taking a vacation in India, I choose places with low connectivity, such as mountains, wildlife sanctuaries and cruises, so the reach between my work and me is limited.

Pack adventure into your vacation

Because I was occupied from the time I woke up to the time that I went to sleep, work stayed off my mind. We had sightseeing trips, lunches, dinners, parties and shopping sprees all planned and timed. As a person who works non-stop, I have so much energy and if I don’t plan how to expend it at my vacation, I will naturally get back to work. Now when I schedule time-off, I make sure to plan the adventure first. So even though I’m not working, I’m onto something equally exciting and that keeps my ever-ticking mind and creativity going. I have noticed that every vacation that I return from, I find a whole new perspective at work, a perspective that adds greater value, for I had the distance to see that which the proximity didn’t allow.

A vacation is something that is a reminder that there is a life beyond work

Great ideation opportunity

Take advantage. Every vacation has given me immense takeaways that my otherwise busy life disallowed. I could ideate without the pressure of having to do so. I could understand better, being away from the tension and appreciate even the slips and falls that I had been through as a learning curve. Once away from the scene, learning became much easier.

Discovering true happiness

Over the years, being happy had become a challenge. I needed a reason to be happy. So achievement became a necessity towards that end. But when on a vacation, I found happiness without reason, and that is true happiness. The sunrise made me happy, the silence brought joy; the extra sleep brought comfort; and walking in the wilderness brought an elation that no professional accomplishment could even match. This is what I work for—the time and luxury to be free and happy over nothing at all. And I carried that happiness back to work. My colleagues now comment on how I come back calmer and happier after each vacation. My drive was always at a fast pace but my attitude had shifted towards the better.

Value-add to friends and family with your presence

Over the years I had forgotten that I had a responsibility beyond work and that was to add value to the people around me. In spending time with my family it dawned on me how much they valued me and how appreciative they were to spend time with me. They were so eager to learn from my work and me and I could see a mutual exchange of respect in getting to know them better. Over the years the primary reason of going to work [family] had become the secondary reason. I had never known that so many people looked up to me and longed to spend time with me. If my own near and dear ones never get my time, then what good is my work that never served them?

A vacation is not something that comes in the way of work. A vacation is something that is a reminder that there is a life beyond work, a life that we have long forgotten under the daily pressures and professional expectations. If someone told you that you would never get time off when you started out with your job, I can bet my life you would never take it. As much as work is important, so is your life. The ability to ‘switch off’ is as important as the necessity to remain ‘switched on’. Even a machine needs its down time, and you being the one that literally makes your world go round, need that vacation. Take it as a part of your job profile. For, if you don’t discover the ability to switch off, you won’t remain ‘on’ for long.

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