“Just checking in. Are we still on for today?”

“Since I haven’t heard from you, I’m assuming we’re not meeting anymore…”

It happens to all of us. You make plans with someone, you confirm ahead of time, and yet they still don’t show up. Frustrated, you have two options. You can either let it ruin your day or you can see it as an hour saved.

Most people choose the former.

The common response

When plans fall through, the majority default to anger.

They feel rejected and annoyed at the person who failed them. But there is a better way to do things. Instead of letting frustration ruin your day, see their lack of attendance as a good thing!

Now you have time to do whatever it is that you have been meaning to do. That could be an email response you’ve been putting off, a book you’ve been wanting to start, or an up-and-extra for your business.

You have an entire hour free to spend however you so choose.

Relieved

This actually happened to me not too long ago. I had a video chat scheduled with someone and they forgot about it, missing the meeting altogether. Instead of being upset though, I was relieved.

My inbox had been slowly growing the entire day and I wasn’t sure when I’d ever be able to address it. And then, suddenly, with the cancellation of that meeting, I had the time to get through it all. I didn’t let the change of plans discourage me. I saw the opportunity and took full advantage of it.

Something that I encourage you to do as well.

A Bored List

In David Allen‘s book Getting Things Done, he mentions having a list of things to do while going through menial tasks. For instance, while on hold with a phone company, you could work through your email, clean off your desk, or fold some laundry.

Since reading his book, I’ve started a similar list for myself.

Deemed my Bored List, I always have at least two things on it. Then, when I find myself in a boring situation — like waiting in a doctor’s office — I pull up my list and work through whatever’s there.

You can apply this concept to your life as well. When your flight’s delayed, or you’re waiting for a client to join a Zoom call, or you’re standing by for a store to open, you can pull up your Bored List and use that time productively.

Refuse to wallow

One issue that you’ll likely encounter when things do go awry is wanting to complain or wallow. But that just wastes time. Instead, you’re better off recovering from the change as quickly as you can.

Reevaluate your time and decide what you can do with those newfound minutes.

Don’t hesitate. Choose what you will do and then take action. That’s a critical factor in making this time work for you. If you let it derail you, it will do so gladly. But instead, if you see it as an opportunity to take advantage of, you will be able to do so with maximum productivity.

Be prepared

The most crucial aspect of using your time productively, especially when plans go awry, is being prepared. It’s having that Plan B thought-out and ready to go before it’s needed. Not scrambling to figure it out in the moment, but knowing that you have options ready to go.

In the case of my video chat cancellation, I knew that I had email to respond to.

So when the meeting didn’t happen, I took immediate action. I didn’t delay. I knew what I needed to do and I got right to it.

The reason for a backup

That’s where having something like a Bored List becomes so handy. You never know when you’ll need it, but you’ll be happy you have it when you do.

You don’t necessarily need a list like this to be productive when plans change, you just need to be prepared. That could mean keeping a book downloaded to your phone. It could be letting a few emails stack up.

Or it could be simply reaching out to three or four people that you haven’t spoken to in a while. The Plan B doesn’t matter so long as you have one.

Plan A, B, C

Your Plan B may have different levels to it as well.

For instance, in my case, I generally don’t opt for my Bored List until I’ve already exhausted my other options. Meaning that before I go through that list, I’m sure to respond to any texts, emails, or Slack notifications first.

So really, Communication is my Plan B. My Bored List is my Plan C.

As you can see though, regardless of the situation, I have options. I don’t let my time be squandered. When I have a minute, I use it as productively as I can.

A little story to serve as example

You get to the restaurant five minutes early. You check-in, sit down, and order a drink. The potential client should be arriving any second now.

Ten minutes go by though and she still hasn’t arrived. You check your phone. There’s a text waiting for you: Running a few minutes late! Sorry! Order without me. I’ll be there soon. You sigh. I hate when people are late.

You feel irritated. Then, suddenly, you remember: I’m behind on my book club book!

Happy she was late

Immediately, you pull your phone back out and start reading. Wow, I forgot just how far behind I was! Now, instead of fuming, you’re relaxed and, actually, quite grateful that the client is running late. You finally have a chance to catch up on reading.

The client eventually arrives. Apologetic, she’s surprised to find you in good spirits. She figured you’d be mad.

“Why would I be mad?” you say. “I haven’t been able to read this much in weeks!”

Your two options

When things don’t go according to plan, you have two options:

• Wallow and complain
• Use your time productively

Most people do the former. But you’re not most people. Instead of letting unexpected events ruin your day, you can take advantage of them. Refusing to let circumstance damage your mood, you can utilise your time and ultimately be happy that things worked out the way they did.

Moving forward with a backup

There is always a chance that things will go awry.

Don’t be surprised when it happens, because it will. Instead, be prepared for it. Keep a book on-hand, have a Bored List ready, be aware of a few people that you haven’t talked to in a while and can reach out to.

Have your Plan B and possibly even Plan C within reach. That way, you’ll be happy when things go according to plan and when they don’t.

You’ll be ready either way.

PS: Wondering what’s on my Bored List? As of this writing, it contains just two things:

• Clean out all of the files in my Google Drive
• Clean out all of the apps on my phone

The post What’s your Plan B? Being productive when things go awry appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Somehow, we believe all we must do is have enough money and everything else will fall into place. We believe that retirement means we will be on a perpetual vacation doing all the things we enjoy with no planning necessary to create a retirement state of mind.

Why retirement requires mental planning too

Recently I spoke to Natasha, a friend of mine, who retired with her husband. They left their jobs, sold their home and moved 2,500 miles to a retirement community, which boasted of restaurants, stores, theatres, golf courses, swimming pools, along with club houses for card games and art classes. There, the couple purchased a new home and relaxed and partied with new friends while they enjoyed the amenities. Then, Natasha confessed, they got bored.

As she related how they got tired of doing the same things every day with the same people, it reminded me of Robert Atchley’s study on the stages of retirement. Atchley, a professor of gerontology, identified six stages of retirement—disillusionment is one of them. To sum up his research, retirement is a major life transition where no matter how much we plan financially, we need to do a better job of planning for the emotional and psychological changes brought about by leaving our work lives behind. Mental health in retirement is just as important, if not more, than financial health.

With advances in nutrition and medical care, it is possible for many people to live another 20 to 30 years in retirement. The idea of 20 years of doing nothing but having fun may sound like, well, fun, but realistically it’s a formula for a boring life. Work provides many things that enhance our lives, such as challenge, structure to our days and, for most people, a social forum as co-workers and customers become friends. While the workplace may be a top source of stress for many people, it should come as no surprise when once we retire we miss the engagement with others at the office. In fact, the stress of our job is often replaced by other forms of stress, and sometimes even depression.

With advances in nutrition and medical care, it is possible for many people to live another 20 to 30 years in retirement

One change at a time

Like Natasha who moved 2,500 miles thinking she was going to retirement utopia, some people find themselves stressed over the choices they made. In her case, she left the retirement community, moved back to her old home town, bought another house in her old neighbourhood and took a part-time job as she realised how much she missed her work life, old friends and the community she’d been part of for 30 years. Moving is stressful at any time in life, whether it’s for a job transfer or for your retirement. And, as with Natasha’s example, when the initial euphoria of retiring is replaced by boredom, there is anxiety over deciding what to do next. Finding new meaning and purpose in life after retirement takes not only thought and introspection, but also a leap of faith.

Things that you need to keep in mind before you retire

1. For retirees, the number one stressor is money. Even if you form a solid financial plan with professional advice, once the pay cheque stops coming in, retirees often feel a tremendous amount of stress. No matter how many financial planners you talk to, there is no guarantee that your money will last your lifetime.
2. Then, there’s the spectre of health issues. We all know we will eventually have health issues, body parts will wear out and we won’t be able to do as much as we once did. Retirement age is often the time when health issues begin to surface. Even people who retire in excellent health find themselves worrying about potential health issues and, yes, the resulting strain on their finances. One way to remove some financial stress is setting up a funeral insurance plan before retirement. Finalizing your end-of-life plans and ensuring they are paid for during your senior planning allows you to remove one financial stressor from your list.
3. Then, there is this seldom-thought-of stressor. Retirees who are married often look forward to finally spending more time together, only to realise that after having spent decades apart all day in the workplace, co-habiting 24×7 is entirely too much time together.

Finding new meaning and purpose in life after retirement takes not only thought and introspection, but also a leap of faith

Steps to make the transition smooth

As you enter this potentially exciting time of life, minimising the stress, finding new purpose and meaning and making a successful transition requires advanced planning. Here are four steps to ensure that you are mentally prepared to make a smooth transition to retirement.

1. The first step is recognising there will be an adjustment period, the same way you have adjusted in the past to other major life events like getting married, having children, changing jobs, moving to a new locale or losing a loved one.  Retirement is also a major life event; once you acknowledge this fact, you will have an easier time adjusting than those who think there will be no ups and downs.
2. Talk to a counsellor, preferably one who specialises in mental health for older adults. Today, there are life coaches who specialise in retirement issues. Seek their advice just as you would a financial counsellor. Your plan for emotional and psychological stability is just as personal as your plan for financial stability. A counsellor can help you focus on what is best for you.
3. Think about the activities you will engage in during your retirement. 20 to 30 years is a long time, long enough for a second career after you’ve had some extended relaxation; long enough to take up and master a new hobby; long enough to make your dent in the universe through volunteer work. This is the time of life to reach for the stars, so become an explorer of yourself.
4. Plan on staying physically active as much as possible and engaging in activities that will keep you engaged with other people. Think about the timing of your exit from work in terms of your hobbies, travel plans and social commitments. If visiting places where it snows is your idea of a great retirement activity, winter is probably the perfect time to retire. But if you are a gardener, planning to start a fruit and vegetable garden in your compound, then you may want to wait for warm weather to arrive before making your exit. And, before you make a major change like selling your house and moving 2,500 miles, remember, by retiring, you are already involved in one major life change. So, try not to do everything at once.

This is the time of life to reach for the stars, so become an explorer of yourself

As human beings, we have an inner need to strive for something greater. That need doesn’t dissolve with retirement. We still look for meaning and purpose in our lives. The idea of spending decades doing the same ordinary business day after day instead of finding our true potential is like a slow death. Whether you are planning your retirement or are already in retirement, if you haven’t already done so, take steps now to ensure a healthy, fulfilling retirement state of mind.

This was first published in the April 2015 issue of Complete Wellbeing.

The post How to Make the Most of Your Life Post Retirement appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Abhishek Sohni looked stressed out. He had confided in his counsellor Ravi Mazumdar that lately he just couldn’t get himself to focus on his work. Abhishek loved to work; he was the driven type who regularly went beyond the call of his duty. Over the years, he had become known for his work ethic: the guy who never complained about excess work. Not surprisingly he had risen up the ranks quite early in his career.

How could someone like Abhishek suddenly lose all interest in his job? At first Ravi thought it was a case of exhaustion. After all, that is what his symptoms—lethargy, lack of focus and a general disinterest at work—pointed to. But digging deeper he discovered that the cause of Abhishek’s increasing sense of dissatisfaction was not excessive stress but the lack of it. The work that once challenged him now made him weary. He no longer derived any sense of satisfaction from his job, so much so that he had started thinking of retirement although he was only 44. Abhishek was suffering from a different kind of burnout, a phenomenon that results from boredom and lack of eustress or beneficial stress.

We tend to associate the term “burnout” with too much work-related stress. But this is a limited view of a much broader phenomenon. In this issue’s cover story, Dr Steven Berglas tells us the other side of the burnout story—when lack of enough stress and paucity of challenges leads to extended boredom which, in turn, causes burnout. According to him, no matter how good you are at your job and how much you enjoy doing something, after a while you will get bored of doing the same thing over and over again.

Giving examples of athletes who compete against top competitors, salespeople who exceed quotas, and managers who beat deadlines, he says, “Humans are innately challenge-hungry organisms who are rewarded [at a neurological level] by doing something ‘better’ every day… however, should an Olympic-calibre athlete compete against a high school student in his preferred sport, or a salesman reach his annual quota in a few months simply by filing orders from repeat customers, neither individual will derive eustress.”

One could say that true happiness and bliss result from good stress, which absorbs our attention thoroughly and makes us feel worthy. On the other hand, not being challenged enough is bound to make you feel disengaged, causing boredom which ultimately leads to burnout. He calls such burnout Supernova Burnout.

While explaining the concept of Supernova Burnout in detail, Dr Berglas offers a few unique techniques to address it, should you face such a problem in your life. Use these techniques to keep boredom in check while finding new ways to keep your work stimulating and challenging. Because, monotony isn’t good for your wellbeing.

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