Anger is energy

Published by: Hay House

ISBN: 0781401928148

Pages: 221

Price: Kindle edition: INR 733.67, Hardcover edition: INR 1260.00

When situations and people upset us, anger is a natural emotional response because we feel victimised, hurt and defensive. The whole world looks like an enemy, especially when our expectations are not met. But as the anger builds up, we become our own enemies. Could we transcend this anger and pain? Sharon Salzberg and Robert Thurman say we can.

Love your enemies is a practical guide that teaches us to identify these enemies, set ourselves free from the “Us vs. Them” thinking. Drawing heavily on the Buddhist way of thinking, and written in a conversational style, this book explains the four kinds of enemies we meet as we go through life.

The enemies are categorised as: the outer influences, our own destructive emotions, self-obsession, and self-hate.

Each type of enemy is presented in this order, taking us from the outer enemies to the enemy within, based on the premise that the process of finding freedom and overcoming our anger, fear and self-preoccupation must ideally follow this sequence.

Life, however, is less than ideal and so – after I read the book, I realised that one can start at any of the stages described in the book. For instance, if you would like to start by experiencing inner freedom, Chapter 4 is a great start. If you are in a place where you are unable to let go of your anger, Chapter 2 will help identify and overcome the inner enemy.

No matter what type of enemy you face, the process of overcoming is the same: identification, understanding, developing tolerance and compassion and then, simply rooting it out to free ourselves.

Love your enemies seeks to teach the reader to change her relationship with her enemies and live a life guided by wisdom, tolerance, compassion and love. The concepts are easy to experiment with.

The alternating commentary by the authors and their easy writing style flows smoothly, complementing each other through their stories and teachings. Sharon share stories and examples from her own experience and that of her students’ while Bob’s teachings are drawn from his personal experiences and the Buddhist canon.

We are introduced to the concept of our enemies being our best teachers, because, unless there were people trying to harm us how could we learn patience, tolerance and forgiveness?  Why waste energy on hating those who wrong us, why not practice tolerance instead? A nice analogy is that of martial arts, where we must transcend anger to gain the power to defeat our opponents. Anger throws you off balance and depletes your energy, making you weak. Fear does the same thing.

Love your enemies explains why anger is the ultimate inner enemy and offers gentle strategies anyone can practice and make into a habit. Naturally, all this does not happen overnight. It is a step by step process that requires us to embrace the concepts of ‘give and take’, kindness and altruism. By practising self-compassion, we learn that when we make mistakes, we have a choice on how to treat ourselves afterward.

Finally, the authors offer a series of meditations, tools and exercises in the last 50 pages of the book.

Love your enemies helps us find peace within ourselves and with the world—a worthy quest!

This was first published in the April 2014 issue of Complete Wellbeing.

The post Love Your Enemies: How to Break the Anger Habit & Be a Whole Lot Happier By Sharon Salzberg and Robert Thurman appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Published by: Shambala Publications, Inc.

ISBN: 978-1-59030-817-2

Pages: 224

Price: INR 579

We can endure busy lifestyles and increasing stress levels only up to a limit. There comes a point when the desperation to find ways to regain your balance becomes a priority. The concept of ‘mindfulness’ is fast catching on as more and more people wish for a meaningful life. For the sceptic, there is scientific research to prove that mindfulness brings significant benefits for both mental and physical health.

Mindfulness can be defined as ‘consciously paying attention to all that is happening around us and within us, without criticism or judgement.’ Practising mindfulness is easy when we start by focussing on one small area in our life until it becomes a habit.

The author Jan Chozen Bays, a long-time meditation teacher and physician, presents the book beautifully with a series of exercises that specifically outline how to cultivate mindfulness. They address various aspects of our lives and are geared to help the reader become aware, happy and comfortable with her busy life.

Each chapter offers one exercise and is divided into several sections beginning with a description of the task, and ideas to help you remind yourself to do it throughout the day and week. This is followed by ‘Discoveries’ listing peoples’ insight and feedback and ‘Deeper lessons’. All chapters conclude with “Final Words”, a summary of the exercise.

The exercises in the book are fun and easy. For example,

• Use your non-dominant hand to perform routine tasks each day.
• Choose one room in your house. For one week, leave no trace that you used that space.
• Eliminate filler words from your speech, that is, words that add no meaning to what you say.
• Once a day, think of someone close to you and give them a genuine compliment.

The best part is, you don’t need to seek expensive retreats or invest in gadgets to practise mindfulness. It is possible to do it with what you have. It only takes a shift in perspective. The whole point of the book is to become mindfully aware and be present in each moment so we can appreciate, be grateful and happy. The author specifically lists the benefits of mindfulness while busting some interesting myths about being mindful.

A great way to use the book is to use one exercise per week for 52 weeks of the year – to cultivate the habit of mindfulness. The book’s website at http://www.shambhala.com/howtotrain offers printable reminders to help you. The author also suggests journalling your experiences to record and review your experience.

Some of the exercises in this book can be extended into periods of meditation, contemplation, or prayer.

From this book, we learn how not being present leads to dissatisfaction and unhappiness, while being in the present moment is restful and enjoyable, bringing a sense of discovery to even the most mundane of everyday activities. Being mindful is clearly the best way to improve our overall quality of life.

The post How to Train a Wild Elephant & Other Adventures in Mindfulness By Jan Chozen Bays, M.D. appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Published by: Missionday

ISBN: 978-1939714008

Pages: 256

Price: INR 1220

When I am invited to make small choices so I can enjoy big changes in my life, I accept—especially if it comes like an answer to a prayer.

Burning the midnight oil has become a habit with me and though I am conscious about healthy habits, I was obviously losing my grip. I recently turned 50, and I knew I must worry. I wished for a strong nudge to motivate me to revert to a healthy lifestyle.

Eat Move Sleep offers exactly that and delivers on its promise with practical ideas to improve your odds of a longer, healthier and more fulfilling life.  Bestselling author Tom Rath, who has a reputation for inspiring millions over the last decade with his words, presents the reader with a whole new lifestyle option. Who can say “No” to making simple changes when the reward is natural health?

The Eat, Move, Sleep Equation is easy to solve and interpret. You start your day with a healthy breakfast to increase your odds of being active. This helps you eat well. When you eat the right foods and stay active, you sleep soundly.

If you don’t sleep well, you crave unhealthy food and can’t be active. This adds up to making your day go downhill.

Tom Rath shows how you can ace all three elements in a number of ways. By tackling them together, rather than only addressing one at a time, you increase your chances of success.

There are 30 chapters in the book. Each chapter has three research-based findings and concludes with three ideas that you can apply in your life. If you challenge yourself to use even one idea per day for a month [30 days] you can be well on your way to making good decisions for yourself.

With hectic lifestyles being the order of the day, every individual has to make wise choices and good decisions to ensure a long and healthy life.  That we all need to eat healthy, be active and get enough sleep is no secret. We all understand that health is wealth. Eat Move Sleep shows us the impact of eating, moving and sleeping on our life and offers specific action points to help us make small adjustments to our daily routine.

This book can change how you think, feel, and act every day, regardless of your age and help you make better choices.

Eat, move and sleep well today to have more energy tomorrow, better relationships, be more productive at work and in your community.

My takeaways from this book

• Forget fad diets, unfriend inactivity forever and sleep longer to get more done
• Feast at sunrise, fast at sunset
• Smaller plates, smaller waistline
• Make sleep a family value
• Ditch the sleep medication and sleep better
• Exercise alone is not enough. Working out three times a week is not enough. Being active throughout the day is what keeps you healthy.

The post Eat Move Sleep By Tom Rath appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.