The right day

Long weekends spell family holidays, but for a road trip you probably want to avoid long weekends. Reason being, traffic snarls. Being stranded in serpentine traffic takes away all the fun of a road trip and will be a major turn off for the person driving. If you still choose a public holiday or long weekend then begin your drive early in the morning. You’ll have to forfeit some sleep but if you’re lucky, you may catch the rising sun.

Identify pit stops

When calculating travel hours, allot for sufficient break time. If there are elderly or children travelling with you then you may need to take more frequent breaks. You need not always halt for a washroom or restaurant break. Just halt to soak in the scenery and stretch yourself for a few minutes. Decide in advance if you will be making any stop overs for the night. If yes, make advance bookings for the same. Everyone in the group may have different thresholds for how long they can endure a car drive. Check with each passenger in advance so that there are no surprises en route.

Clothing

Roads trips, on occasion, take you through different climatic conditions. Starting from the plains you may be headed out to the hills or you may hit rain on the way. Therefore knowing your route is important. Wear comfortable clothes that can be layered. Pack in a manner that makes weather appropriate protection easily accessible.

Food and first aid

If you are leaving in the wee hours of dawn then breakfast at restaurants may not be available yet. Also, since you want to navigate out of the city before the peak hour traffic starts, you have no time to waste. Therefore keep snacks and water handy. When packing the snacks, divide and pack so that passengers in the front seats don’t have to reach back for food. The last thing you need is food spilling in your vehicle. A first aid kit in the vehicle has to include salves and bandages for injuries, medicines for heat stroke, upset stomach, motion sickness and headaches. Keep a garbage bag in the car for any waste that needs to be disposed. Chocolate wrappers and toll receipts do amount to a lot of trash.

Packing 

A few must have are spare money, a notebook, pen, flashlight, toilet roll, medicine kit, sunglasses, power bank or USB cord, reading glasses, travel pillow, travel mug, hand sanitizer or wet wipes and a swiss army knife. These items should be easily accessible.

Vehicle check

Atleast a week before your trip get your vehicle serviced. Check the engine oil, coolants, windshield wiper liquid, lights and indicator. While on the trip, check the tyre pressure every morning before heading out. Do carry spares like headlight and indicator bulbs.

Music

What’s a road trip without good music? Don’t forget to take along a collection of everyone’s favourite music copied on a pen drive. You don’t want to be only listening to your favourite music at the cost of boring the other passengers.

Maps

Check your route before your start and share the same with your co-driver. This helps to avoid any confusion later and you can avoid high traffic zones. Google maps are a boon but not 100% reliable. Rather than going around in circles just ask people for directions. That will not just ensure you are on the right path but is also an opening gambit to a conversation with a stranger.

Children

Road trips with children require some extra planning. If you do not want to hear ‘are we there yet’ for the nth time it is important to keep the children engaged. You could submerge them in electronic games, however a road trip is also an opportunity to engage their curiosity and knowledge. Inform them in advance about the amount of time they will be spending in the car and encourage them to plan games and other activities.

Groups 

A group road trip with multiple vehicles has a few more challenges. Driving at the same pace and looking out for each other is tiring and a distraction too. So it would be best to decide on way-points along the route where everyone can catch-up. Also, a communications person should be nominated to ensure everyone gets the required message and sends the necessary response.

Share responsibility

At the outset, decide who else will be sharing the driving responsibility and when your next change will be. One passenger [whoever is best at it] can be responsible for reading maps and giving directions. Before and during the trip, the car will need cleaning. You could take turns to clean the car to make sure the job is done and no one person gets all the load.

The post Tips for planning your first road trip appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Holidaying with your family [spouse and children] and parents provides a break from the stage on which you all relate to each other.

The varying ages in the group is a challenge as needs differ and have to be catered to. Not to mention the dynamics of relationships between your spouse and parents, children and your parents and so on. Given the challenges one would do well to carry an open mind and a plan.

Take along books, games/toys

Sightseeing is one way of spending time together on holidays. Spending time with the family could also involve indolently reading a book or solving puzzles or playing cards or a board games. Board games are a good way for everyone to be together. Another reason for getting these along is keeping your child engaged during the journey.

Try independence for a change

Get your children to participate in the holiday planning and then get them to pack their clothes and be responsible for their luggage. In fact if they are old enough they could also lend a hand to the grandparents with their packing. Such tasks provide children with opportunities for various kinds of decision making and planning which will benefit them in the long run. Get your children to read up about the place before the holiday. They could then serve as your informal tour guides for which you could give them some additional pocket money.

Record memories

Delegate the task of recording holidays to your children. Ensure it is not restricted to selfies and photos only. Get your children to write about what they experience through prose and poetry. If they are good at sketching, take along sketching material and let the kids loose. To ensure this happens, children have to be told of their responsibilities in advance and a time needs to be allocated for this during the holiday.

Avoid the normal

Memories are created when you do something new. Don’t let yourself or the rest of your entourage get sucked into the narrow confines of what the cellphone and other electronic gadgets provide. Question the impulse to use social media to update the world of your activities and the need to be briefed on what the world is up to. Even if the idea is to spend time by the pool or at the beach, avoid playing your favourite video game and instead initiate a conversation, people watch, read or just do nothing.

Let the grand kids and grandparents bond

If your children are old enough and the grandparents game, find activities that they can do together. This would give you and your spouse ‘alone time’ while the grandparents and grand kids enjoy each others company.

Carry snacks and basic first aid

Travelling does make one hungry and if you don’t want your outings to be interrupted by frequent breaks for stopovers to eat then carry enough snacks for everyone. And make sure to take everyone’s choices into consideration. Travel also gives ample scope for minor injuries. Young children and teenagers are prone to mini accidents so it is best to be prepared for such occasions. Also do ensure that they have had their tetanus shots.

Patience is key

Being a parent makes one used to plans being constantly changed and holidays are no exception. Mood swings and injuries don’t take a break either. Therefore keep your plans open ended and carry a large dose of patience with you. The key is for all to remember that this moment has been carved out specially for everyone. This can only be communicated successfully if you are patient and respond instead of reacting to situations.

Seneca said ‘Travel and change of place impart new vigour to the mind.’ It not only does that, but gives ample scope to build on relationships taken for granted as you deal with the everyday. Taking care of the basic essentials gives you the freedom to spend quality time with those you love and care for.

The post How to increase family bonding during a vacation appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Why bother to holiday with the parents-in-law

Having said that, it does not mean that your parents and you, living in separate universes, do not meet. It is a given that you and your spouse will create opportunities to meet the parents. If you are staying in the same city as the parents then celebrations, weekends, dining-out, movies are all occasions to strengthen bonds and show that out-of-sight is not out of mind. However, if you all are staying in different cities then the occasions are a few and the time spent short and precious.

Holidaying with your spouse and the folks is an opportunity to bring the two universes together and revel in the occasion. However, to ensure that the universes do not cataclysmically disintegrate [yes I am being dramatic] during this moment in time you need to keep a few things in mind.

Your spouse and you are a team

This needs to be stated at the outset to ensure that you do not spend too much time with your folks at the cost of your spouse and your spouse does not ignore your folks to your chagrin and their discomfort. As a unit you not only have each others backs but work together to make this outing for the parents an enjoyable and memorable one. As a team, work not only reduces but there is appreciation for what the other brings to the moment.

Discuss and find common interests

Discussing holiday plans with your spouse and parents provides more things to do as interests, not known till then, may align. Thus the holiday entourage can split into smaller groups ensuring others are not forced to do things they are not interested in. Common interests could become a corner stone to improve interpersonal relationships.

Spousal spats should not be public

Spousal infractions are a given and there is no right time for one. However, when holidaying with your parents it would be best to let go in order to avoid these tiffs. Such fights tend to weaken the holiday mood and unnecessarily give your parents a reason to worry.

Spend time with the folks

You and your spouse should independently spend some time with the parents. This is a chance for them to bring you upto speed on how they are enjoying the holiday.

Include your spouse during reminiscing sessions

Unwinding during holidays can bring back a flood of family memories. These discussions unfortunately may keep out the spouse. These are occasions to bring your spouse upto date on family history and share your memories. It is also an occasion for your spouse to see your parents in a different light – as young people far removed from who they are now.

Do something special with your spouse

Just because your parents are along does not mean that you cannot plan something with your spouse. Remember the holiday is as much about bonding with the parents as it is about the spouse. Plan your holiday to include time just for the two of you. Your spouse will love it, you will enjoy it and your parents may just get the time they wanted but were unwilling to ask for.

When holidaying with both set of parents

Holidaying with both set of parents can be like juggling with knives. However, it need not be so if you are mindful of the above and the following points:

Do not spend time on your parents only

It is not surprising if you wish to show more concern and make more effort for your parents. After all being their child you want to make their holiday special. It may also be that you do not get along with your in-laws. On the other hand you may want to do more for the in-laws because it makes your spouse happy or just because you like them. Whatever may be the case it may lead to some heartburn for the other party. Therefore it is important that your spouse and you communicate as a team to ensure both sets of parents are given equal attention.

Stop any attempts at family competitions

Attempts to stand out are natural. Parents would like to believe that they and their children are special, they would like to crow about success, sacrifices and unique experiences. Sometimes this is done unconsciously. However, any form of one-upmanship must be nipped in the bud. What matters now is that your spouse thinks you are special and that the two of you together live through the successes and sacrifices that knock on your door.

Do not interfere in a spat between your spouse and his/her parent

Adults will always be seen as children by their parents. The conundrum is that parents love to give advice and also seek counsel from their grownup children. So even on such vacations there will be occasions for child-parent tiffs. Though you may want to douse this flareup and or support your spouse, do not. Unless called to intervene, it is best to let the spat die a natural death and then talk to your spouse and parents separately.

Find occasions for the two sets of in-laws to do things together

In other words find time for yourself and your spouse to do things together. Such vacations are also about your fledgling family memories that you two create. In the planning stage you could suggest things that the two sets of parents can do together whilst clearly indicating that you would like to spend some alone time with your spouse.

Parent child interaction differ from family to family. These differences are in your face when you and your spouse together vacation with your parents. The expectations of your parents and those of your in-laws need to be balanced against those of your relationship with your spouse. In conclusion one must remember what Henry Miller said, ‘One’s destination is never a place, but always a new way of seeing things.’ which can extend to holidays with your spouse and parents.

The post When you decide to take your parents-in-law on a vacation appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Having said that, you need to take care of a few things to ensure everyone enjoys this adventure.

Health

Do visit the doctor and get a health check up done for your parents, preferably before making any bookings. Also ensure that you carry a health certificate from the doctor [especially when flying and travelling abroad].

Medicines

Carry the prescribed medicines and prescriptions for the duration of the trip. Carrying their medical files may be helpful if it is a long holiday. If travelling abroad, keep in mind the time difference as this will impact the schedule of medications. Confer with your doctor on how this needs to be dealt with.

Insurance

Insurance has become an important part of the everyday, especially if one works in the private sector. Buying travel insurance is vital to meet any exigencies when travelling abroad . Even within India it becomes important when vacationing with the elderly. Air ambulances do not come cheap. There is the added benefit of being treated by doctors who know the patients medical history.

Booking a hotel

When booking a hotel one usually checks for deals, location, free buffets etc. However, when travelling with elderly parents there are other issues that need to be kept in mind:

• Presence of a bathtub in the bathroom. A bathtub can be a physical hazard for the elderly because they may not only find it difficult to raise their leg to enter and get out of the tub but also could lose their balance in the process.
• Provision of bathroom stools for your parents to sit and bathe.
• Distance of your room from the restaurant.
• Dietary requirements. Eg: In Asia, most often vegetarian food is cooked with fish sauce.
• Provision for a bidet-spray in the toilet. [Some hotels and cruise liners only provide toilet paper]

Booking tours within the city

Do ascertain the quantum of walking that is required when booking a city tour. Tour operators may be able to make provision for wheelchairs if they are informed in advance. Also clarify if a wheel chair attendant will be provided. It would be best if parents carry their own bags that have snacks, water, medicines.

Air tickets

There are many boxes to tick when buying air tickets:

• Ensure that you inform the airlines that you are travelling with senior citizens {and whether you require wheelchairs}. Keep in mind, some airlines offer a senior citizen discount.
• As some airlines use the same wheel chair for different flights ensure that the wheel chair is with you from check-in to boarding so that your parents can be ferried to the toilet when required.
• Ensure they wear comfortable clothes and shoes for the flight.
• For long haul flights ensure they walk and stretch on the flight to avoid cramps or DVT [deep vein thrombosis].

Dietary habits

Travelling is an opportunity to experience new cultures through food. If there are dietary restrictions then do get the hotel reception to write, in the local language, the dietary restrictions.

Maintaining a schedule

Keeping to a schedule ensures nobody gets tired, medicines are had on time and everyone is prepared. This also preps your parents for the day, as surprises can be disconcerting for the elderly. The schedule should cater to time requirements of your parents. Things that should be kept in mind include sleep patterns and morning routines. Rushing unnecessarily increases everyone’s stress levels and compromises the potential for fun.

Keeping your parents informed

Discuss the trip with your parents and get their inputs. Part of maintaining a schedule is keeping your parents informed. This gives them a sense of control and also ensures that they can suggest changes if required. To help in this communication process you need to:

• Create an excel sheet with activities/flight times and other information which everyone should have
• Go through the excel sheet with them
• Parents should carry a tote bag with their documents, medicines, snacks and water during travel. You could keep a master copy with yourself.

Money

Though as a responsible individual you may wish to spend on your parents, it’s important that they carry their own money too. Parents may not like to ask their children for money and a lack of access to money could dilute their fun. Needless to say, this is an unnecessary form of dependence and should be avoided.

Rest

Flights can be fatiguing, not only because of their duration but also because of the travel and processes before and after the flight. Therefore it is advisable to slot in a day on arrival to recuperate before beginning sightseeing. A day of rest before the flight back home should also be slotted in for the same reason.

Misplacing items

Elderly tend to forget things and this is one of the reasons for things getting misplaced. The stress of the journey can also cause your parents to ‘misplace’ things. Searching for such things add to the stress as it reminds them of their frailty, they feel apologetic for wasting time and adding to your ‘things to do’. The way out is to (1) Keep calm (2) Keep a master copy (3) Keep things in perspective so that these moments are not dwelled on and therefore spoil the holiday.

Me time

Make sure that your parents don’t feel that they are coming in the way of you enjoying yourself on the trip. There is no doubt that you will relish the company of your parents, but you also need to do things that are suitable for your age and interest. Therefore keep some time for yourself. Such occasions can also be an opportunity for your parents to do things on their own or rest.

Decision making

As your parents grow old, they turn to you to help them make decisions. In your holiday there will be many occasions when you will be asked to make decisions, infact you may be making all the decisions. You could be called upon to recollect whether they have had their medications besides being asked to make a decision on what to order. Realise that roles have changed and therefore there you will have to be patient with them. Instead of making decisions suggest options and be supportive. It will reduce pressure on you while increasing opportunities of adventure.

Travelling with your parents takes adventure to a whole new level because now your role is that of an adult who needs to cater to the people who took care of you. These are moments to see new places and surprise each other with personal facets that do not emerge in the everyday. By taking care of these basic things you open the door to experiences to build on memories and foster your relationship with your folks.

The post A complete guide to planning a vacation with senior parents appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Raw was never for me

Eating things uncooked is an absolute sign of disrespect to our forefathers who discovered the pleasures and uses of fire. A spot of raw on a dinner plate, in the form of a salad or sashimi or tartare or carapaccio or sushi does take a lot of gumption and is an acquired taste. Is it any surprise that a person who chows down a salad for a meal is asked whether s/he is on diet? Raw ensures that there is nowhere the taste of the vegetable or meat can hide. Of-course, in the case of salads, people do add a dash of dressing, but this is more akin to a bikini. The only way I imagine people so willingly do this to themselves is because the salad morphs into that magic mirror which shows a slimmer/prettier/handsomer version of their current selves.

But then I gave in

So you can imagine my trepidation when I opened the box containing the juicer. Reading the instructions made my heart beat to a tattoo that would have humbled the RPM of the juicers engine. The key, the manual stated, was to only use juicy vegetables and not pulpy or mushy ones like squash. With this information, I ventured to the market and got myself vegetables that I had seen on display in juice kiosks during my early morning sweaty jaunts.

I knew one vegetable was going to be as bad as the other and I also understood the pain I would be going though as I sipped the juice. Therefore I just hacked myself some carrots, bitter gourd, cucumber, bottle gourd and, with what was prescient vengeance, gleefuly put them through the grind. The juicer screamed in protest, was it the sound I would make with the first gulp of the vegetable juice? Then dribblets of juice began to appear, which turned into an outpouring of colour depending on the vegetable that was being ground. Simultaneously the machine began to violently spit out the ground veggies.

Less juice, more waste

It was quite a shock to see the quantum of ground veggies to the juice that was extracted from them. For a glass of awful tasting juice I had put an inordinate amount of veggies in. There was a clear imbalance between the input and the desired quantity of output. This health fetish journey that I was going to sip from was going to be wasteful. Not to mention, expensive too.

Something needed to be done, because I always had an opinion about those actors, models and health junkies who would proudly state that their breakfast consisted of ‘an omelette of 6 egg whites’. I always wondered where the yolks went. Did they go to make a custard for the evening? Or to brown a pie that was going to be baked? Or was it given to the servants? Maybe, it was just washed down the kitchen sink.

Given that I was not rich nor a wastrel, or a model or health junkie I had to do something with the ground vegetables. What could be done I wondered? And then it hit me that these could be made into vegetable cutlets or even into a vegetable dish. I tried my hand with a vegetable dish, I chopped some onions and browned them then added garlic and ginger to taste along with turmeric and garam masala. Finally, I added the ground vegetables and after some time a bit of hot water. I let the dish cook till the water had evaporated.

I hate to say this, but I think I have become a culinary alchemist. The dish was delicious, I swear. How can you go wrong with browned onions, ginger, garlic, and Indian spices? I have not grown any slimmer, my skin is not glowing and my hair continues to grey. Though I must tell you, my experiments with the juicer have continued. Somewhere it must be doing me good; check back with me when I am in my seventies. However, in the meantime I am going to add the byproducts of the juicer to idli and dosa batter. Who knows, I may begin using the juicer for fresh fruit juice and then start a line of preserves.

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