Relationship building is always the foundation of effective leadership. Leaders who ignore the relational aspect of leadership tend to rely on their position instead. Or they expect competence to do ‘all the talking’ for them. True, good leaders are competent, but they are also intentionally connected to the people they lead.

One of the best ways to stay connected to your people and keep track of how they’re doing is to approach the task informally as you move among the people. As you see people in the parking lot, chat with them. Go to meetings a few minutes early to see people, but don’t start in on the agenda until you’ve had time to catch up. And, as the title of this article suggests, take time to walk slowly through the halls. Connect with people and give them an opportunity to make contact with you.

When it comes to connecting informally, leaders in the middle of an organisation often have a distinct advantage over their leadership counterparts at the top. Leaders in the middle are viewed as more accessible than top leaders. They are perceived as having more time [even if it’s not true]. And they are seen as more approachable. Their people don’t worry about ‘bothering them’ and are less reluctant to take their time, unlike people who report directly to the top leader.

Walking slowly through the halls is a useful skill for leading down no matter where you are in an organisation, but the best time to master it is while you’re in the middle, not after you get to the top. To help you develop this skill successfully, here are a few suggestions.

Good leaders are intentionally connected to the people they lead

1. Slow down

To connect with people, you travel at their speed. When connecting with your leader, chances are you need to speed up. Though it is not always true, in general the higher you go in an organisation’s hierarchy, the faster the leaders travel. The leader at the top often has boundless energy and is very quick mentally.

Conversely, when you move down people move more slowly. Once again, not everyone will be slower, but in general it is true. People at the bottom don’t process information quickly, and they don’t make decisions as fast. Part of that is due to having less information. Some of it comes from having less experience.

Most people who want to lead are naturally fast. But if you want become a better leader, you actually need to slow down. You can move faster alone. You can garner more individual honours alone. But to lead others, you need to slow down enough to connect with them, engage them, and take them with you.

If you want become a better leader, you actually need to slow down

If you have children, you instinctively understand this. The next time you need to get something done around the house, try doing it two ways. First, have your kids help. That means you need to enlist them. You need to train them. You need to direct them. You need to supervise them. You need to redirect them. You need to recapture and re-enlist them when they wander off. Depending on the ages of your children, it can be pretty exhausting, and even when the work is completed, it may not be to the standard you’d like.

Then try doing the task alone. How much faster can you go? How much better is the quality of the work? How much less aggravation is there to deal with? No wonder many parents start off enlisting their children in tasks to teach and develop them but then throw in the towel after a while and do the work themselves.

Working alone is faster [at least in the beginning], but it doesn’t have the same return. If you want your children to learn, grow, and reach their potential, you need to pay the price and take the time and trouble to lead them through the process-even when it means slowing down or giving up some of your agenda. It’s similar with employees. Leaders aren’t necessarily the first to cross the finish line-people who run alone are the fastest. Leaders are the first  to bring all of their people across the finish line. The payoff to leadership-at work or home-comes on the back end.

2. Express that you care

When you go to your mailbox at home, I bet one of the first things you do is shuffle through the various items. What are you on the look-out for? You’re probably looking for something with a handwritten envelope, because it’s usually a sign that what’s inside is something personal from someone you know. We all desire a personal touch from someone who cares about us.

I read somewhere that the United States Postal Service delivers 170 billion pieces of mail every year. Yet in this vast sea of mail, less than four per cent of the total is comprised of personal letters. That means you have to sort through 100 bills, magazines, bank statements, credit card offers, ads, and other pieces of junk mail to find just four items from someone who knows and actually cares about you.

The people who follow you also desire a personal touch. They want to know that others care about them. Most would be especially pleased to know that their boss had genuine concern about them and valued them as human beings, not just as workers who can get things done for them or the organisation.

We all desire a personal touch from someone who cares about us

3. Create a healthy balance of personal and professional interest

Leaders who show interest in the individuals who work for them need to find the balance between personal and professional interest. Professional interest shows that you have the desire to help them. That is something all good leaders share. Personal interest goes deeper—it shows your heart.

When you take interest in your people as human beings, you need to be sure not to cross the line. There is a point at which interest becomes inappropriate. You mustn’t be nosy. Your desire should be to help, not to invade someone’s privacy or make them feel uncomfortable.

Start by asking fairly neutral questions. You can safely ask how someone’s spouse or children are doing. You can ask about people’s hobbies or other outside interests. Or you can ask a very general question such as, “How is everything else going?” Then pay attention to not only the content of their answer, but also for any kind of emotional reaction. If you sense that there might be something there, then ask a non-threatening follow-up question that asks if everything is okay-but don’t push. If they choose to talk, don’t judge, don’t interrupt, and don’t be too quick to offer advice unless they specifically ask for it.

Why should you take the time to do this? The reality is that when employees’ personal lives are going well, their professional lives often follow suit. What happens at home colours every aspect of people’s lives, including their work. If you have an idea where people are personally, you can know what to expect from them at work, and you may get the opportunity to help them along.

Your desire should be to help, not to invade someone’s privacy or make them feel uncomfortable

4. Pay attention when people start avoiding you

If you make it a habit to walk slowly through the halls, you will get to know your people and the organisation better. You will know when things are working. Your leadership intuition will increase, and when something is wrong, you will pick up on it much more quickly.

Most people are creatures of habit. They fall into patterns and do things the same way most of the time. As you walk around, you will get used to seeing people. Because you will be seen as approachable, people will come out of their offices or cubicles to chat with you. They’ll be visible. If something is wrong with somebody who is normally communicative, that person will suddenly avoid you. So as you walk around, you have to ask yourself, Who am I not seeing?

Often it’s not what people say; it’s what they’re not saying that is a tip-off that something isn’t right. People are always quick to bring good news, but they avoid bringing bad news. I see examples of this all the time in my consulting company, ISS. When we are working with a leader to try to develop a partnership, if that leader intends to sign with us, we hear about it right away. If that leader doesn’t, she takes quite a while to make contact with us. A good 360-Degree Leader always slows down enough to be looking, listening, and reading between the lines.

Often it’s not what people say; it’s what they’re not saying that is a tip-off that something isn’t right

5. Tend to the people, and they will tend to the business

A 360-Degree Leader has many exceptional qualities. But one thing they all have in common is that despite their passion for the vision and their love of action, they give the majority of their effort to the people. Leaders who tend only to business often end up losing the people and the business. But leaders who tend to the people usually build up the people-and the business.

As you strive to walk slowly through the halls, I want to encourage you to find your own unique way of doing it. Look for practices that fit your personality, working situation, and leadership style. One evening in the fall when I was watching Monday Night Football, I saw a wonderful example of a leader who was doing just that. The halftime feature was about NFL coach Dick Vermeil. He was being interviewed in a studio about his team, the Kansas City Chiefs, and how his season was going, but that’s not what intrigued me.

Between interview questions, they were showing Vermeil and his team during a practice. As the players stretched during warm-ups, the veteran coach walked up and down the rows of players, chatting with them. He stopped next to one player, and I could hear him ask, “How’s your wife doing?” And they dialogued for a while.

Leaders who tend only to business often end up losing the people and the business

The interviewer asked Vermeil about his interaction, and he explained that the wife of that player had been fighting lupus. He went on to say that he cares about more than how his players catch the ball or tackle. He interacts with them as people first, then as football players. I’ve since talked to Dick Vermeil, and he told me that he often has players over to his house so that they can get to know each other better.

What’s interesting to me is that when Vermeil came out of retirement to coach the St. Louis Rams in 1997, after a 14-year hiatus, I remember hearing reports that players were skeptical of Vermeil’s methods and thought that he was old-fashioned and out of touch. And he kept telling them to just hang in there with him and see what happened. What happened was the team won the Super Bowl in 1999.

Will Vermeil win another Super Bowl? I don’t know. But I do know this: he has found his own way of walking slowly through the halls that keeps him visible, available, and connected. And because of that, his players respect him and work hard for him because they know he cares about them. A leader can hardly ask for more than that.

Excerpted with permission from The 360° Leader by John C. Maxwell. Published by Jaico Books.

The post Why a Leader Must Walk Slowly Through the Halls appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

As we left, Elizabeth said, “Daddy, did you see how that lady changed?”

Seizing this golden opportunity, I said, “Elizabeth, if you want people to act right toward you, you act right toward them. And many times you’ll change them.”

Near the end of the Sermon on the Mount, Christ summed up a series of profound thoughts “on human conduct by saying, “Therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you” [Malt. 7:12].

In this brief command, Christ taught us a couple of things about developing relationships with others. We need to decide how we want to be treated. Then we need to begin treating others in that manner.

Here are five ways we all want others to treat us. There’s not a person reading this who doesn’t need, like, or respond to these qualities in others.

You want others to encourage you

There is no better exercise for strengthening the heart than reaching down and lifting people up. Think about it; most of your best friends are those who encourage you. You don’t have many strong relationships with people who put you down. You avoid these people and seek out those who believe in you and lift you up.

The story of Eugene Lang gives us an ultimate example of encouragement. Entrepreneur Lang was Success magazine’s “Successful Man of the Year” in 1986. The following is a part of a feature article about Lange’s encouragement of others:

A gray-haired man stands alone in the center of the auditorium stage—a distinguished, paternal presence sporting a fine wool suit and the barest trace of a moustache. He scans the sunlit room, with its peeling paint and frayed draperies, but his gaze lingers on the people.

They are Black and Hispanic men and women who fill most of the seats in the auditorium. Though some do not speak English, their attention is fixed on the man on the podium. But his speech is not aimed at them. He has returned to this place where he once was a student to address the 61 graders, dressed in blue caps and gowns, who are seated in the front rows.

“This is your first gradutation—just the perfect time to dream,” he says. “Dream of what you want to be, the kind of life you wish to build. And believe in that dream. Be prepared to work for it. Always remember, each dream is important because it is your dream, it is your future. And it is worth working for.”

“You must study,” he continues. “You must learn. You must attend junior high school, high school, and then college. You can go to college. You must go to college. Stay in school and I’ll … “ The speaker pauses, and then, as if suddenly inspired, he blurts out: “I will give each of you a college scholarship.”

For a second there is silence, and then a wave of emotion rolls over the crowd. All the people in the auditorium are on their feet, jumping and running, cheering and waving and hugging one another. Parents rush down the aisles to their children. “What did he say?” one mother calls out in Spanish.

“It’s money! Money for college!” her daughter yells back with delight, collapsing into her parents’ arms.

The place was an elementary school in a poverty-stricken, drug-ridden, despair-plagued Harlem neighborhood. The speaker was multi­millionaire entrepreneur Eugene Lang, who 53 years earlier had graduated from that very school.

The date was June 25, 1981, and the big question was whether the warm and ever-confident Lang, a man who believes that “each individual soul is of infinite worth and infinite dignity,” would fulfill his promise.

Well, he did and he still is. Of 61 graduates, 54 stayed in contact with Lang, and 90 percent of those achieved a high school diploma or equivalent, and 60 percent went on to higher education. You have to understand, at that time, in that community, the high school drop-out rate was 90 per cent.

People need to be encouraged. Eugene Lang believed in these kids and it made all the difference in how they lived the rest of their lives.

The happiest people are those who have invested their time in others. The unhappiest people are those who wonder how the world is going to make them happy. Karl Menninger, the great psychiatrist, was asked what a lonely, unhappy person should do. He said, “Lock the door behind you, go across the street, find someone who is hurting, and help them.” Forget about yourself to help others.

You want others to appreciate you

William James said, “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”

Have you heard the story about the young politician’s first campaign speech? He was very eager to make an impression on his audience, but when he arrived at the auditorium, he found only one man sitting there. He waited, hoping more people would show up, but none did. Finally he said to the one man in the audience, “Look, I’m just a young politician starting out. Do you think I ought to deliver this speech or dismiss the meeting?”

The man thought a moment and replied, “Sir, I’m just a cowhand. All I know is cows. Of course, I do know that if I took a load of hay down to the pasture and only one cow came, I’d feed it!”

Principle: We cannot underestimate the value of a single person.

With the advice from the cowhand, the politician began his speech and talked on and on for two hours as the cowhand sat expressionless. Finally he stopped and asked the cowhand if the speech was all right.

The man said, “Sir, I am just a cowhand. All I know is cows. Of course, I do know that If I took a load of hay down to the pasture and only one cow came up, I surely wouldn’t dump the whole load on him.”

Principle: Don’t take advantage of people.

J. C Staehle, after analyzing many surveys, found that the principle causes of unrest among workers were the following, listed in order of their importance:

1. Failure to give credit for suggestions
2. Failure to correct grievances
3. Failure to encourage
4. Criticizing employees in front of other people
5. Failure to ask employees their opinions
6. Failure to inform employees of their progress
7. Favoritism.

Notice that every single item has to do with the failure to recognize the importance of the employee. We’re talking about people needing appreciation. I try to apply this principle every time I meet a person. Within the first thirty seconds of conversation, I try to say something that shows I appreciate and affirm that person. It sets the tone of the rest of our time together. Even a quick affirmation will give people a sense of value.

Treat others as you want them to treat you. Treat them as if they are important; they will respond according to the way that you perceive them. Most of us think wonderful things about people, but they never know it. Too many of us tend to be tight-fisted with our praise. It’s of no value if all you do is think it; it becomes valuable when you impart it.

You want others to forgive you

Almost all emotional problems and stress come from unresolved conflicts and failure to have developed right relationships with people. Because of this, many people have a deep desire for total forgiveness. A forgiving spirit is the one basic, necessary ingredient for a solid relationship. Forgiveness frees us from guilt and allows us to interact positively with other people.

Ernest Hemingway, in his short story, “The Capital of the World,” tells the story about a father and his teenage son who lived in Spain. Their relationship became strained, eventually shattered, and the son ran away from home. The father began a long journey in search of the lost and rebellious son, finally putting an ad in the Madrid newspaper as a last resort. His son’s name was Paco, a very common name in Spain. The ad simply read: “Dear Paco, meet me in front of the Madrid newspaper tomorrow at noon. All is forgiven. I love you.” As Hemingway writes, the next day at noon in front of the newspaper office there were 800 “Pacos” all seeking forgiveness.

There are countless Pacos in the world who want more than anything else to be forgiven.

The unfortunate truth is that many of us, instead of offering total forgiveness, pray something like this Irish Prayer:

May those who love us, love us;
And those who don’t love us
May God turn their hearts;
And if He doesn’t turn their hearts,
May He turn their ankles,
So we’ll know them by their limping.

People who find it difficult to forgive don’t see themselves realistically. They are either terribly arrogant or tremendously insecure. Though hanging onto a grudge gives some people a feeling of satisfaction, the truth is people who do not forgive are hurting themselves much more than they’re hurting others. A person who possesses this characteristic and keeps score in relationships is a person who is emotionally wired to carry all the stress that goes with carrying grudges.

Forgiveness should be given as quickly and as totally as possible. Do it now. Don’t be in the position of the young man who no longer has the opportunity to communicate with his parents. Because of his procrastination he will never experience the joy of their forgiveness and reconciliation.

You want others to listen to you

My mother was the librarian where I attended college, and each time I entered the library, there would be a half a dozen college girls around her desk. Mom has always had an incredible counseling ministry, not because she is such a great talker, but because she is a tremendous listener. There’s a difference between hearing people and listening to them. Listening is wanting to hear. Mom loves people and wants to hear from them; people respond to that kind of caring.

As people gain more authority, they often develop a lack of patience in listening to those under them. A deaf ear is the first indication of a dosed mind. The higher people go in management and the more authority they wield, the less they are forced to listen to others. Yet their need to listen is greater than ever. The further they get from the firing line, the more they have to depend on others for correct information. If they haven’t formed the habit of listening—carefully and intelligently—they aren’t going to get the facts they need, and people will resent their decisions.

I saw a television sketch that, with some variations, might seem familiar in many households. A husband is watching television and his wife is trying to engage him in conversation:

Wife: Dear, the plumber didn’t come to fix the leak behind the water heater today.

Husband: Uh-huh.

Wife: The pipe burst today and flooded the basement.

Husband: Quiet. It’s third down and goal to go.

Wife: Some of the wiring got wet and almost electrocuted Fluffy.

Husband: Darn it! Touchdown.

Wife: The vet says he’ll be better in a week.

Husband: Can you get me a Coke?

Wife: The plumber told me that he was happy that our pipe broke because now he can afford to go on vacation.

Husband: Aren’t you listening? I said I could use a Coke!

Wife: And Stanley, I’m leaving you. The plumber and I are flying to Acapulco in the morning.

Husband: Can’t you please stop all that yakking and get me a Coke? The trouble around here is that nobody ever listens to me.

You want others to understand you

How do you feel when you’re misunderstood? What kinds of feelings well up inside you? Loneliness? Frustration? Disappointment? Resentment? Peter Drucker, often called the “Father of American Management,” claims that 60 percent of all management problems are a result of faulty communications. A leading marriage counselor says that at least half of all divorces result from faulty communication between spouses. And criminologists tell us that upwards of 90 percent of all criminals have difficulty communicating with other people. Communication is fundamental to understanding.

Relating recap

Let’s capsulise what we’ve covered in these last few pages. You want others to

• encourage you
• appreciate you
• forgive you
• listen to you
• understand you

As you think about these qualities, consider how they apply to your own life. Perhaps this short course in human relations can help each of us develop qualities that we admire in others:

The least important word:
I [gets the least amount done]

The most important word:
We [gets the most amount done]—relationships

The two most important words:
Thank you—appreciation

The three most important words:
All is forgiven—forgiveness

The four most important words:
What is your opinion?—listening

The five most important words:
You did a good job—encouragement

The six most important words:
I want to know you better—understanding

In life, you are either going to see people as your adversaries or as your assets, If they are adversaries, you will be continually sparring with them, trying to defend your position. If you see people as assets, you will help them see their potential, and you will become allies in making the most of each other. The happiest day of your life will be the day when “we” really is the most important word in the English language.

P.S. To maintain sanctity of the source, this article follows American English.
Excerpted with permission from Be A People Person—Effective Leadership through Effective Relationships by John C Maxwell; published by Jaico Publishing House.

The post How to get others to treat you the way you want them appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

In the summer of 2007, Mike Hyatt and several other friends joined me in Ireland for a few days of golf. Mike has been in publishing since he was in college and has done just about everything in the industry at one time or another. He’s been an author, an agent, a publisher, and even a publishing house founder. Mike is an exceptional leader. Until recently, he was the president and CEO of Thomas Nelson, Inc.

I enjoy playing golf. Though I’m not much better than average as a golfer, I love being on beautiful courses, and I like the exercise. But I also believe that golf outings are great times to build relationships and to do some business. Early one morning in Ireland as I was talking to Mike, I showed him the working outline for my book Put Your Dream to the Test. After reading through it, he immediately said, “John, you have to include a chapter on the importance of a clear vision. If you don’t have clarity, you don’t have anything.” And then he began telling me a story from his experience.

Opportunity of a lifetime

In July 2000, Mike’s boss at Thomas Nelson suddenly resigned. At that time, Mike was the associate publisher of Nelson Books, the trade book division of the company, and he was invited to take his former boss’s job as publisher. “I knew our division was in bad shape,” Mike explains. “But I didn’t know how bad things really were until I became the publisher. I took a deep breath and began to assess reality.” Here’s what Mike discovered:

• His was the least profitable of fourteen divisions in the company.
  In fact, his division had actually lost money the previous year. People in the other divisions were mumbling about how his division was negatively impacting the entire company.
• Revenue growth for the division had been flat for three years. In addition, they had just lost their single biggest author to a competing publishing company, making future revenue growth even less likely.
• His division was the least efficient user of working capital at Thomas Nelson. As a percentage of revenue, inventory and royalty advances were the highest in the company, but they provided virtually no return to shareholders.
• Everyone in the division was exhausted. The division was publishing 125 new titles a year with only ten employees. Everyone was overworked, and the quality of the work showed it.

Mike says, “Things could not have been worse. However, as the new divisional executive, I recognized that things could not have been better for me. It was a great career opportunity. If I turned the division around, I would be a hero. If I didn’t, that would be okay too. After all, the division was a mess when I inherited it. I couldn’t lose.”

At that point, most executives would have launched into a major strategy session to dig the organization out of the hole it was in. Not Mike. Through the years, he had learned that when people think about the how too soon, they hurt their potential. It actually inhibits their dreaming and blocks them from thinking as big as they can. He knows that the accomplishment of a dream depends on the clarity of the vision.

What you need is a vision that is so big that it is compelling,” explains Mike, “not only to others, but to you. If it’s not compelling, you won’t have the motivation to stay the course, and you won’t be able to recruit others to help you. Both vision and strategy are important, but there is a priority to them. Vision always comes first. Always. If you have a clear vision, you will eventually attract the right strategy. If you don’t have a clear vision, no strategy will save you. I have seen this over and over again in my professional life and personal life.

“If you have a clear vision, you will eventually attract the right strategy.
If you don’t have a clear vision, no strategy will save you.”
—Mike Hyatt

So what did Mike do to get a clear picture of what he wanted accomplish?

“The first thing I did was to go on a private retreat” Mike says, “I had one objective in mind. I wanted to get crystal clear on my vision. What did I want to see happen? What would the division look like in three years? I didn’t care about strategy; I was only concerned with vision. If I had been strategic before I was visionary, I might have said, ‘Well, I don’t see how we can accomplish much. The situation is so dire. We don’t have many resources to work with. Let’s just try to break even this next year. Maybe we can reduce our working capital by selling off a little obsolete inventory. And maybe we can sign a few new authors and get a little revenue growth.

“Do you think anyone would have gotten excited about this? Would this vision have attracted the right authors? Would it have retained the right employees? Would it have secured additional corporate resources? I don’t think so. The problem is that people get stuck on the how. They don’t see how they could accomplish more, so they throttle back their vision, convinced that they must be realistic. And what they expect becomes their new reality.”

Mike was very wise. You have to identify the target before you try to hit it. You have to know what the landscape looks like before you can paint a picture of it to others. You have to see the dream with clarity before you can try to achieve it.

If you don’t clearly see your dream—or if you get bogged down in real or imaginary restrictions—you limit yourself. If you’re going to dream, you might as well dream big. And that’s what Mike did. During his retreat, he worked on a vision statement—something he would find compelling. After all, if he couldn’t get excited about it, nobody else in his division would either. He gave himself permission to envision the perfect future. Then he wrote down a clear picture of his dream.

This is what he wrote:

Vision Statement

Nelson Books is the world’s largest, most respected provider of inspirational books.

1. We have ten franchise authors whose new books sell at least 100,000 copies in the first 12 months.
2. We have ten emerging authors whose new books sell at least 50,000 copies in the first 12 months.
3. We are publishing 60 new titles a year.
4. Authors are soliciting other authors on our behalf because they are so excited to be working with us.
5. The top agents routinely bring us their best authors and proposals because of our reputation for success.
6. We place at least four books a year on the New York Times bestsellers list.
7. We consistently have more books on the Christian bestsellers list than our competitors.
8. We consistently exceed our budget in revenue and margin contribution.
9. Our employees consistently max out their bonus plans.
10. We are the fastest-growing, most profitable division in our company.

Mike’s picture of the future was highly specific. That’s the way to bring clarity to a dream!

When Mike returned to the office, he called a meeting with his entire staff. The first thing he did was to describe the current situation; he was brutally honest and didn’t pull any punches. Then he shared his dream. And he described it in as much detail as he could.

Because his vision was clear, his people could see it. Because it was compelling, most of them found it compelling too. He could sense their excitement, and most people quickly got on board. But simply casting vision for everyone else wasn’t enough. Mike knew he needed to keep the vision clear in his mind continually, so he read his vision statement every day. He thought about it all the time. He prayed about it. And he dreamed about it.

People began asking him, “How in the world are you going to accomplish this?” At first, his answer was, “I’m not sure, but I am confident it is going to happen. Just watch.” And as he kept himself focused on the vision, a strategy began to emerge. But still his main focus wasn’t on the strategy. It was on the dream. Mike says, “I spent way more time—probably ten to one—focused on the what rather than the how.”

Mike expected the transformation of the division to take at least three years. Amazingly, he and his team achieved an almost complete turnaround in a mere eighteen months. By then, they had exceeded almost every aspect of the vision.

“This didn’t happen because we had a great business strategy,” declares Mike.” It happened because we had a clear vision of what we wanted to achieve. That’s where it started, and that’s where you have to start if you want to experience a different reality than the one you have now. You have to get clear on what you want.” Since 2002, Nelson Books has consistently been the fastest growing, most profitable division at Thomas Nelson, Inc. It’s been the home of most of the company’s most successful authors, producing one bestseller after another. That was no accident. And it was no accident that Mike was promoted from head of that division to president and later CEO of the entire organization.

Is your dream in focus?

Do you clearly see your dream? A clear and compelling dream has rescued many a struggling organization. Dreams have given meaning and significance to the lives of many an individual. Everything Mike said about clear dreams resonated deeply with me. Every time in my life that I accomplished anything significant, the dream was very clear to me beforehand. I knew what I was striving for.

If you want to accomplish a dream, you will be able to do so only when you can see it clearly. You must define it before you can pursue it. Most people don’t do that. Their dream remains a dream—something fuzzy and unspecific. As a result, they never achieve it.

1. A clear dream makes a general idea very specific

When I ask people to describe their dream, many of them stammer and stumble, trying to put into words a vague notion they’ve nurtured but never defined. A dream that isn’t clear won’t help you get anywhere. What do you want to accomplish? What do you want to experience? What do you want to contribute? Who do you want to become?

In other words, what does success look like for you? If you don’t define it, you won’t be able to achieve it. It sounds overly simple, but a primary reason that most people don’t get what they want is that they don’t know what they want. They haven’t defined their dream in clear and compelling detail. As actor and author Ben Stein asserts:

“The indispensable first step to getting the things you
want out of life is this: decide what you want.”

Deciding what you want requires you to be specific and make your goals measurable. For example, take a look at these vague notions put into more specific form:

I want to lose weight
I will weigh 185 pounds by June 1st

I need to treat employees better
I will honor someone at every Monday staff meeting

I want to get out of debt
I will payoff all credit card balances by December 31st

I’d like to learn a language
I will study Chinese one hour a day this year

I ought to get in shape
I will swim for an hour every day

I need to improve my leadership
I will read one leadership book every month.

A dream doesn’t have to be ephemeral. Even a really audacious one can be concrete. In the early 1960s, President John F. Kennedy made a big dream concrete when he said, “This nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of landing a man on the moon.” Albert Siepert, former deputy director of launch operations at the Kennedy Space Center, stated, “The reason that NASA has succeeded is because NASA had a clear-cut goal, and expressed its goal”

When you first begin to wonder about your potential and brainstorm your future, it’s good to let yourself go and think big. But when it’s time to start making your dream come true, you need to get specific.

Being specific doesn’t necessarily mean having every little detail thought out before you move forward. That would be a mistake. The big idea needs to be clear. The rest unfolds as you move forward, and you make adjustments as you go. But you should try to be as specific as you can about the overarching dream.

For years I have encouraged leaders to add value to their employees, build them up, and motivate them to help them succeed.

Adding value to people is a natural gift for me. But it’s not for many people, and I could see that some struggled with it. Because I longed to help others in this area, I realized I needed to be specific on the subject and write about it. The result was a book I wrote with Les Parrott titled 25 Ways to Win with People: How to Make Others Feel Like a Million Bucks. It explains practices to help people add value to others. Now I’m not just encouraging people to add value; I’m helping them actually do it.

2. A clear dream doesn’t become clear without effort

It doesn’t take much effort to let your mind drift and dream. However, it takes great effort to set your mind to the task of developing a clear and compelling dream. Mike Hyatt says that when he took his retreat to get a clear vision for his division, he went to a solitary place with just a pen and journal. He began the process by describing in writing the current reality he was facing. He was brutally honest, writing down everything he didn’t like. Only then did he write out in detail what he wanted to see happen in the future—not just as a vague dream of success or improvement. He even wrote it in the present tense to make the dream more concrete and credible. Take the effort to bring clarity to your dream using your own tools and method. If you’re like Mike, you can go away to a cabin with nothing but pen and paper. I, on the other hand, need starters to get me thinking in the right direction. Maybe they can help you as well. Here are some essentials I bring to the task of clarifying my dream …

» Questions. For me the whole process begins with questions I must ask myself. The dream is always rooted in the dreamer, in his or her experiences, circumstances, talents, and opportunities. I ask:

• What am I feeling? —What are my emotions telling me?
• What am I sensing? —What is my intuition telling me?
• What am I seeing? —What is happening around me?
• What am I hearing? —What are others saying?
• What am I thinking? —What do my intellect and common sense say?

If I can get a good sense of where I am, what I know, and what I want, I’m on my way to clarifying my dream.

» Resources. I rarely try to think, create, or dream in a vacuum. I’m a firm believer in tools that can help me. Sometimes that means reading a book, listening to a message on CD, watching a movie, or reading quotations. Other times it means having a photograph or an object in front of me to help me dream. More than once I’ve kept a photograph on the desk in my office for a year or longer to help me see a dream more clearly.

» Experiences. Years ago when my dream was to build an influential church in America, I reinforced and clarified that vision by visiting congregations around the country that were already influential. I have also traveled to historic areas and visited the home of one of my heroes to inspire me. Such experiences help me dream bigger and with greater clarity.

» People. When I dream, I think about people who have already been where I want to go. For three years I made appointments with leaders who were already doing what I dreamed of so that I could gain insight from them. Those interactions gave me confidence, inspired me to dream bigger, and sharpened the picture of my dream. Listening to people share the details of their journey can sometimes help you discover the details of yours. If you have already discovered a process for bringing clarity to your dream, then use that. If you haven’t, try mine. Or do as Mike Hyatt did. But however you approach the task, remember this: it’s usually a process. A clear picture of a dream may come to you all at once, in lightning bolt fashion, but for most people it doesn’t work that way. Most people need to keep working at it, clarifying it, redrawing it. If the process is difficult, that’s no reason to give up. In fact, if it’s too easy, maybe you’re not dreaming big enough. Just keep working at it because a clear dream is worth fighting for.

3. A clear dream affirms your purpose

Bringing your dream into focus should confirm the sense that you are going in the right direction, and it should strengthen your sense of purpose. I’ve found this to be true in my life. In my effort to clarify my dream, I discovered that the more clearly I saw my dream, the more clearly I was able to see my purpose. That is true, I believe, because a person’s dream and purpose are intertwined. God designs us to want to do what we are most capable of doing. Because of this, when I visited churches that were making an impact, something resonated within me. I felt that I belonged in such places. And when I interviewed the successful leaders in these churches, I sensed that I could become one too. In a way, it was an odd situation. I was fanning the flames of my imagination, making me dream even bigger, and at the same time it confirmed the reality that I was on the right track. I could see a picture of my dream, and I could see myself in the picture!

In my effort to clarify my dream, I discovered that the more clearly I saw my dream, the more clearly I was able to see my purpose

When your dream and your purpose are aligned, you know it. That was true for filmmaker Steven Spielberg. When he was in high school, he dreamed of directing movies. “I want to be a director,” he told his father, Arnold.

“Well,” his father told him, “if you want to be a director, you’ve got to start at the bottom; you’ve got to be a gofer and work your way up.” “No, Dad,” the younger Spielberg replied “The first picture I do, I’m going to be a director,” And he was.

“That blew my mind,” his father says. “That takes guts.” Arnold Spielberg was so impressed with his son’s ambition and confidence, he bankrolled Steven’s first feature film, Firelight, a science fiction thriller that premiered at a little movie house in Phoenix, Arizona. During the making of the film, the young Spielberg told his collaborators, “I want to be the Cecil B. DeMille of science fiction.” That’s not a bad description of what he has become, having produced or directed Jurassic Park, Men in Black, Transformers, ET, Minority Report, Back to the Future, Gremlins, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, and other science fiction films. Spielberg’s dream was clear, and the power of that clarity helped him achieve it.

As you put your dream to the test and seek to bring clarity to it, having your dream and purpose aligned will change your life. Why? Because it will make clear why you’re here on this earth. If you don’t sense that alignment and strengthening of purpose, you might need to make sure your dream is really your dream.

4. A clear dream determines your priorities

The Bridge on the River Kwai, which won the Academy Award for best picture in 1957, is considered by many to be one of the finest films ever made. The lead character, Colonel Nicholson, portrayed by Alec Guinness is a study in misplaced priorities. Nicholson is an admirable man and tough leader who is taken prisoner by the Japanese during World War II and finds himself the highest ranking officer in a Burmese prison camp. His Japanese captors try to coerce him into leading his fellow prisoners in the building of a railway bridge. In the beginning, Nicholson resists heroically, but in time he relents and begins the building project. Eventually he takes so much pride in the work his men are doing in the construction of the bridge that he loses sight of his real goal—defeating the Japanese and winning the war.

At the end of the movie, there is a moment when Nicholson actually starts to guard the bridge from attack by an Allied officer who has set charges to blow it up. But in a flash of insight during his dying breath, he says, “What have I done?” His last act is to detonate the explosives and blow up the bridge. It’s easy to get so caught up in the day-to-day process of life that you lose sight of the big picture. However, when your dream is clearly in sight, it helps you get your priorities straight.

Even though I’ve taught this truth for years, there are times when I need to be reminded of it. That was the case in December 2007 when I went to the hospital because I was experiencing some dizziness. After two days of tests, I learned that I had an irregular heartbeat. Dr. Crandall, my new cardiologist, visited me in my hospital room to talk to me about my health. I knew what he was going to say. I hadn’t been watching my diet for quite some time. So in an effort to show him that I knew what was coming, I said, “Dr. Crandall, I know I need to do some weight management.”

“No, you don’t need to do weight management,” he replied, much to my surprise. For a moment I had hope. “You need to do weight loss. John, you’re fat! After you lose a bunch of weight, then you can manage it!” During our fifteen-minute conversation, if he told me once, he told me a dozen times that I was fat. He was making sure he brought great clarity to the picture for me. With my problem in focus and the dream of wanting to remain healthy so that I can continue to spend time with family, my priorities became clear. I would do what it took to reach a healthy weight. That meant changing my priorities and developing a new pattern for living, which would dictate what I did in the future. Until further notice, I would consume no more than sixteen hundred calories a day. And I would exercise for no less than one hour every day. If I wanted to achieve my dream of a long and healthy life, I would have to realign my living according to these priorities.

Nobody can have it all. We like to think we can, but we can’t. If you see your dream clearly—and keep it in front of you continually—it will help you to understand what you must sacrifice and what you must dedicate yourself to in order to keep moving forward.

Only a clear picture of who you are and where you want to go can help you prioritize what you need to do. We all make choices.

The question is, Are you going to make choices that bring you closer to your dream or take you farther away from it? If you don’t know exactly what your dream is, then you won’t be capable of making the right choices.

Clarity of vision creates clarity of priorities

5. A clear dream gives direction and motivation to the team

Your big dream will undoubtedly require the participation of other people. If you are part of an organization that has goals or vision, then you must work with other people in order to accomplish them. No matter what, you must be capable of working with a team. That can be done effectively only when you possess a clear picture of what you want to achieve.

Jim Tunney, author and former NFL referee, says that many business organizations fail to accomplish what they set out to do because they don’t clearly define their target. “If employees don’t understand their company’s goals and its game plan,” he notes, “these goals won’t be achieved.” He goes on to point out that the game of football never has unclear objectives. “Its goals are always clearly defined,” asserts Tunney. “At the end of the field is a goal line. Why do we call it a goal line? Because eleven people on the offensive team huddle for a single purpose—to move the ball across it. Everyone has a specific task to do—the quarterback, the wide receiver, each lineman, every player knows exactly what his assignment is. Even the defensive team has its goal—to prevent the offensive team from achieving its goal.”

Pastor, writer, and editor Ed Rowell says, “A dream is a better future in need of an architect who will show others how to make it a reality.” If you are a leader, you must be that architect. You must identify the dream and be able to draw it, not only for your benefit but also for the benefit
of others.

One night I had dinner in Dallas with an architect named John Fleming. He told me, “If you’re an architect, you can’t start building a project until you’ve finished it.” By that, he meant that if you’re the visionary—the leader—you need to know the end before you start leading the team. You have to see it. If you don’t, your team will never be able to fulfill your vision.

As a leader and leadership mentor, I am continually thinking about how to communicate vision to others. If leaders create a fuzzy picture, then people follow in an equally fuzzy way. Lack of clarity hinders initiative, inhibits persistence, and undermines follow-through.

Followers don’t give their best to some thing they don’t understand. People don’t stay on course for something they cannot see. Nobody becomes motivated by something he kinda, sorta believes in

I love the story of how a certain track coach communicated the goal to his runners before a race. Just before the gun sounded, he used to say, “Stay to your left and get back here as soon as you can.” It doesn’t get any clearer than that!

Anytime a team, department, or organization doesn’t see the same clear picture of what it’s trying to accomplish, it is destined to get off course. I faced this reality in 1981 when I became the senior pastor of Skyline Wesleyan Church. Although the congregation had experienced growth in the past, it had been stagnant for years. I quickly sensed that the leadership had lost its way. Following my instincts, I asked each member of the board to write the purpose of the church on a three-by-five card. My suspicions were confirmed when I read the cards and found that the seventeen members had written fifteen different answers.

The energy of the church was unfocused, and the direction was unclear. Why? Because the leaders of the organization didn’t share a common dream. No wonder they weren’t able to move forward. Over the next six months we hammered out our core values and our common vision. As the dream for our church became clearer, the energy of the leadership increased. And the newly focused and energized leaders carried those qualities to the rest of the congregation. The result was that the congregation tripled in size during the next ten years and made a positive impact on the community, which was our dream.

You must see it to seize it

Most people wander through life. They have no clear dream, no clear picture of where they want to go. And even when a great opportunity presents itself to them, they don’t have the ability to see it and build a dream upon it.

In 1866 an amateur geologist noticed some South African children playing with a glistening rock. Intrigued, he asked the children’s mother if he could purchase it. She said it wasn’t worth anything and simply gave it to him. Later when he examined it more closely, his hunch was confirmed: it was a diamond. He calculated its weight at 21 carats.

When others heard of this and other discoveries, a Scottish mineralogist named James Gregory was sent to investigate. He reported that South Africa wasn’t suitable for the occurrence of diamonds. He speculated that the previous discoveries had resulted from ostriches, of all things, eating the gems in distant lands and depositing them in South Africa via their dung. A few days after Gregory’s report was made public, an 83 carat diamond was found in the area that he had visited. It is now known as the Star of South Africa, and it launched the region’s first mining operation in what is today the world’s largest producer of diamonds. And what about Gregory? His name lives on, but not as he might wish. In the diamond industry, when someone exhibits bad judgment, it’s called “pulling a Gregory.”

Among the people who flocked to South Africa during the diamond rush was Cecil Rhodes, a young man from Britain who dreamed of success. He and his brother saw the potential of diamond mining in the area and bought as many claims as they could.

They also purchased an ice-making machine in England, which they brought to Africa so they could sell ice to mine workers suffering in the heat. They used their profits to purchase more mining claims. In the 1880s, Rhodes went on to found De Beers, the largest producer of diamonds in the world.

How would you describe your vision when it comes to your dream? Do you blindly accept the status quo? Or do you look at things with your eyes wide open, seeking greater possibilities? And when you see them, are you serious enough about achieving a dream to actually put it to the test by defining it clearly? Are you willing to describe it in detail, put it on paper, and tell others about it?

If you’re not, then you’re placing yourself at a disadvantage. Only those who see their dream are able to seize their dream. If you can answer the Clarity Question with a yes because you clearly see your dream, then you are greatly increasing the odds that one day you will do more than just see your dream—you will live it!

Only those who see their dream are able to seize their dream

Answer the clarity question: Do I clearly see my dream?

It’s time to bring clarity to your dream, to give it detail. If you have a general idea of your dream, your temptation may be to start creating your strategy. Don’t do it yet. As Mike Hyatt asserted, vision must come first.

1. Begin by writing a detailed description of your dream. Let your imagination go wild. Write as many elements or pieces of it as you can. Don’t stop until you have more than you think you need.
2. Now quantify anything you can. Make it measurable. Don’t worry about how you’ll get there yet. Be bold. Be audacious. Dream big!
3. The next step is to state your dream succinctly in writing. Mike broke down his dream into ten clear, measurable elements. Do something similar with your dream. The number doesn’t matter—it simply needs to match the dream—but try to keep it fairly short.
4. Don’t expect to be able to do the whole process in one sitting.

For most people that’s not possible. Instead, give it time.

You may want to get away for a retreat to start the process. If you can separate yourself from your usual surroundings or routine for a couple of days, you may be able to get most of the work done. Otherwise, take a day to dream, and then come back to the process for a few hours at a time in subsequent weeks. Don’t forget your goal: make your dream as clear and specific as possible. Then keep it in front of you so that you can see it every day.

P.S. To maintain sanctity of the source, this article follows American English.

This article is an edited excerpt from Put Your Dream To The Test by John Maxwell, Published by Jaico Books ; reproduced with permission.

The post The astonishing power of clarity appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.