How to be mentally flexible

Here are seven tools you can use to increase your mental flexibility and agility

1. Rethinking

This requires that you stop the clock, take a time-out, and stand back to look at your situation objectively. Ask yourself three questions:

1. What am I trying to do?
2. How am I trying to do it?
3. Could there be a better way?

Whenever you experience frustration or resistance of any kind in your attempt to achieve your goals, step back and ask yourself these three questions.

Very often you will find that what you are trying to do is not the correct thing to do, or it is not as important as it used to be. You may find that the way you are trying to do it is not working. And by asking if there could be a better way, you open your mind to an infinite number of possibilities, because there is almost always a better way.

2. Reevaluating

Practice zero-based thinking, and consider the possibilities of doing things completely differently. Whenever you are not happy with an ongoing situation, ask yourself, “If I were not now in this situation, knowing what I now know, would I get into it again today?”

If the answer is no, how do you get out of it, and how fast?

3. Reorganising

Look for ways to increase the efficiency and effectiveness of your operations by moving people and resources around and by deploying them in different ways.

• What are your most important goals in your work and business right now? Have they changed?
• Who are your most important, valuable, and productive people?
• How can you reorganise your work so that your best and most productive people are focussed on your most important goals and greatest opportunities?

4. Restructuring

This involves moving your people and resources into the 20 per cent of activities that can account for 80 percent of your results.

• What are the 20 per cent of results that account for 80 per cent of the income and profits of your business?
• What are the top 20 per cent of your activities that account for 80 per cent of your total results?
• Who are the top 20 per cent of your staff who produce 80 per cent of the total results?

In business, your primary concern should be revenue generation. Move your very best people into those areas where they can have the greatest positive effect on generating more revenue for your company.

5. Reengineering

Continually seek ways to simplify your work and life by delegating, outsourcing, downsizing, or eliminating certain activities.

• What activities or processes can you simplify and streamline so they can be done faster and with less time and money?
• What activities can you delegate to others or outsource to specialist companies?
• What activities could you eliminate altogether with no real loss of productivity, sales, or profitability?

Each time you ask one of these questions, you will stimulate your creativity and get answers that you can apply to streamline your business and get more and better results, faster and cheaper.

6. Reinventing

Continually imagine what you would do differently if you were starting over again today. Imagine starting your business or department over again today.

1. What would you do differently?
2. What would you do more of?
3. What would you do less of?
4. What would you start doing that you are not doing right now?
5. What would you stop doing altogether?

These questions will give you ideas and insights every time you ask them. What should you do more of, less of, start, or stop?

7. Regaining control

This requires that you take specific action in your work and business based on your answers to the six R’s above.

• What one action are you going to take immediately regarding your own personal work and activities?
• What one action are you going to take immediately regarding your staff?
• What one action are you going to take immediately regarding the business itself?

In each case, imagine that you have no limits. Imagine that you have all the time and money, all the talents and abilities, all the friends and contacts, and all the resources you need to be, do, or have anything in your business or personal life.

Your main job is to become absolutely clear about the right thing, the best thing, to do and then to commit wholeheartedly to the new course of action.

The post 7 tools to become mentally flexible appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Hundreds of thoughts go through one’s mind at any given time. Your work may be challenging, or you have been fired, or you are facing problems in a relationship. These thoughts often have no particular direction. You need to rise above your thoughts, to become the “sky” in the metaphor. That way, you become the objective listener to your thoughts. This sets you on the path of self-awareness.

Awareness is the starting point of every quest. Without awareness, we flounder along the path. Awareness removes digressions and shows a clear path ahead.

However, being aware is not a goal—it is an ongoing practice of mindfulness. So how do we increase our awareness?

Awareness demands that we have greater clarity and honesty in all aspects of our life. We understand what others are trying to communicate to us at a deeper and more realistic level. We’re able to be honest with ourselves about our faults and our positive traits, and we have a greater ability to lead. The benefits of heightened awareness include accepting that we are responsible for our actions, expectations and beliefs and how they influence what we do. It helps us notice our patterns [good and bad] and work towards channelling our negative emotions into constructive actions.

Why we judge others

People often judge others, yet most people don’t really know themselves. It is difficult to know yourself, and almost impossible to know another person completely. This is why so many people are intent on judging others—they’re afraid to learn about themselves. Aristotle has thus rightly said: “To know thyself is the highest wisdom.”

Heightening awareness can seem like a tall order for those of us who block out the world in order to focus on our own life. But heightened awareness won’t take your attention away from the necessary tasks in your life. On the contrary, there is a huge upside to this in terms of progress in the corporate world, and you getting more respect from your colleagues, clients and family.

A simple way is to write a regular journal. It can be as little as jotting down a few bullet points before you go to bed. Ask yourself: What did I learn about myself at work today? What did I learn at home? What made me happy and what made me unhappy today and why? What are my goals?

Heightened awareness also helps us differentiate between reality and wishful thinking. Many people lead an illusionary life [a life built on how they wish things would be, but not how they are], which prevents them from getting to the root of problems. As a result, they fail to deliver. For example, when you get angry with another driver, you believe your anger has been triggered by his poor driving. But in reality, you are stressed out because you have missed the deadline for an important project. Awareness allows you to be mindful of what is really going on and why you are reacting the way you are.

Do you listen actively?

Awareness is also practised through active listening—listening with your eyes, ears and heart. Give your undivided attention and remain non-judgmental. Your relationship with your family can be tenuous without active listening because a deep understanding of each other is missing. The same applies to business relationships; with customers, colleagues or other stakeholders. You can enrich every relationship with active listening.

In the corporate world, being aware of the moods of individuals and teams can offer valuable insights. You need to know if your employees feel valued or de-motivated. Heightened awareness helps you fix situations where your employees may feel less than great.

Awareness also means you have a deeper understanding of what is going on in your business. You are aware of what is most important to you. Being aware means not only that you are clear about your vision, mission, values and strategy, but also whether your team and your actions are aligned with them.

Ways to develop a heightened awareness

1. Accept that your awareness can always be enhanced.

2. Ask yourself: What frustrates me? What bothers me?  What excites me? What do I do well? What can I do better? What does success mean to me? What makes me happy? What takes me away from who I am?

3. Have one-to-one meetings with associates, customers, family members, colleagues and your spouse to find out how they’re feeling. Keep an open mind during discussions and listen actively. When you’re upset about something, ask: what else could it be?

4. Sharpen your awareness of your team members: are they putting in their best? What are the gaps between actual outcome vis-à-vis the expected outcome? Who are the performers/non-performers? What will take them to the next level?

5. Deepen your awareness of your business. Evaluate what is being achieved from a qualitative and quantitative standpoint, and have a mechanism for evaluation. Then determine the one thing you can do which gives you the highest leverage on your time, and focus on it. Set weekly, monthly, quarterly and yearly goals and evaluate your progress regularly.

6. Develop a deeper awareness of your offerings: What are their strengths and weaknesses? Which products and services do clients really like and which do not add much value?

7. Be aware of your customer mix: Who are the 20 per cent customers giving you 80 per cent of the business? Give special attention to those customers.

8. As noted earlier, write in a journal—about what’s going on in your life—to get to the root of any problem. Write in a journal before addressing a problem directly with the person concerned, or read your journal before going for an important meeting. Soon after you begin writing, you’ll find that you’re more aware of your behaviour, your business and people around you. As little as 5 – 10 minutes a day spent writing can help clarify issues.

The post How fine-tuning your awareness can make you more successful appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Have you noticed that when you’re thinking about choosing a particular brand of car, you keep noticing that brand everywhere you go? Or if you are expecting a baby, you seem to see more pregnant women than you did before? Brian says in his seminars that you are a “living magnet”, you invariably attract the right people, ideas and opportunities into your life that are harmonious with your goals.

Focus boosts positive coincidences

When you focus on a goal, the reticular activating system [RAS] a part of your brain that functions as a filter to process over four hundred billion bits of information per second that you are exposed to every single day, searches for people, places and circumstances to support what you are thinking about. Simply put, if you have well-defined goals, RAS will direct your attention towards people, events and opportunities that can help achieve your aspirations.

David Letterman, the late-night funny man, started his career with a flop. After a string of guest appearances on comedy shows, sitcoms and game shows, Letterman finally landed a hosting gig for a TV pilot called The Riddlers.

The series was a bust. But Letterman got noticed by the producers of The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. He soon became a regular guest, and eventually a TV talk show host who earned $40 million a year.

Jazz musician James Morrison and his brother were trying to make it big in New York, but ended up playing music on the streets. They made enough money to get a burger from Burger Boy, and within hours of eating his burger, James was flying business class, eating smoked salmon on his way to Europe for a major jazz tour. It turned out that a waiter at Burger Boy spotted his trumpet and put the Morrisons in touch with an agent who urgently needed a replacement for a sick soloist.

Examples of coincidences often appear to be simply accidents. However, as Albert Einstein said: “Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous.”

Have you never experienced positive coincidences?

If you have faith that the Universe is there to help you, you will find this concept easier to accept. But if you have never experienced positive coincidences, you may be wondering why. Here are a few reasons:

• You have goals but no burning desire. You do not make enough effort to succeed, giving the Universe mixed signals and confusing the outcome
• Your desire is not consistent
• Your actions and desires are not aligned
• You are not grateful for the good things that happen to you
• You accomplish many things but don’t acknowledge or are shy to acknowledge your successes or are too self-critical, leading to weakening of morale and enthusiasm
• You have poor awareness. You fail to see the connection between your desires, actions and results, eventually leading to missed results
• You do not affirm and visualise your goals regularly.

Problems are stepping stones

Many of us avoid uncertainty because we fear negative outcomes. However, even a negative outcome can lead us in the right direction. An unhappy experience in your life, like losing your job, can open new career avenues for you. But if you ignore the learning and instead just focus on the negative experience, you will invite more of the same. On the other hand, if you treat them as another chapter in the narrative of success, you’ll find it easier to draw positive solutions.

The important thing to remember is that problems affect everyone.

Steve Jobs could have felt victimised after he was fired from Apple. He chose to react differently. After his dismissal, he saw opportunity where others couldn’t. He went on to lead a small animation company and turned it into the juggernaut that is now Pixar. When The Walt Disney Company bought Pixar in 2006, Jobs became the largest shareholder in Disney. Moral of the story: when unwanted changes happen, look beyond them and see the opportunity they might contain.

Learn to recognise coincidences

Challenge yourself with the following “How to” exercises

1. Become aware of what is going on in your life and start actively looking for the coincidences. You strengthen what you focus on.
2. Record all the coincidences you observe in a week and analyse them to see how they brought you closer to your goals.
3. Express gratitude for every event that brings you closer to your goals.
4. Set clear goals—yearly, quarterly, monthly, weekly and visualise them twice every day. The clearer your goals, the more you invite positive coincidences.
5. Align your goals with a larger selfless purpose. When you want to help others, the Universe wants to help you.
6. Trust that all coincidences are there to help you, even though you may not think so at the time.
7. During each encounter, ask yourself: How does this incident bring greater awareness into my life?
8. When you face obstacles, view them as learning opportunities.

What is important is that you learn to recognise coincidences, and use them to help you reach your goals. You then begin to look at every setback as a stepping-stone to success.

The post How to create positive coincidences in your life appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Contrary to what we may think, striking a work-life balance doesn’t make us less effective. In fact, it only makes us better workers than those who burn themselves out by focussing on work at the cost of family, health and harmony. Many senior executives complain that they have too many demands, too many interruptions and distractions. They struggle to prioritise and end up firefighting despite their best efforts. For them, work-life balance is an aspiration, albeit an elusive one. They often feel that if they eke out time for their family and personal needs, they will fall behind in their careers.

All of us are blessed with the same 168 hours in a week. However, while a few achieve breakthroughs in life, the majority merely trudge along, wondering why they can never find time to do the things they want to. It is not just that harmony benefits your life—lack of harmony hurts it, in real tangible ways. The ability to concentrate and use your time well is important if you want to succeed in business or in other areas of your life, and a well-balanced life is the best tool for that. When you are spiritually, mentally, physically, socially and economically balanced, then you’re successful in the real sense.

The key is to look after your business, your balance [work, health, social circle and family] and your beyond [spirituality, giving, purpose]; and not prioritise one over the other. Paying equal attention to all three aspects will strengthen you as a person.

The World Health Organization estimates that stress costs American businesses $300 billion a year. The 2012 Workplace Survey released by the American Psychological Association suggests that many Americans report chronic work-related stress. Around 41 per cent said they “feel tense or stressed out during the workday,” an uptick from the previous year’s 36 per cent. In its annual wellness report, Employee Assistance Program provider ComPsych found that 38 per cent of employees can’t stop thinking about emotional, health, financial or job concerns.

Work-life balance not only results in happiness and personal success, it can even lead to business innovation. Richard Branson, founder of Virgin Group, has noted that some of his best ideas come when he engages his children in conversations about his work.

Melinda Gates sums it up well: “The only thing I care about on the day I die is that people think I was a great mom, family member, and friend.”

Challenge yourself with the following “How to” exercises to

• MAKE balance a personal priority and be clear what balance means to you. As Dr. Stephen Covey puts it, “first things first”: making sure that business, balance and beyond all play their parts.
• SPEND time with loved ones; also set aside time to improve your health and do things that matter to you, like pursuing a hobby. If you don’t spend quality time with yourself and your loved ones, someone or something less important will take up your time.
• PREPARE a “not to do” list, not a “to do” list. This will remove non-essentials from your life. How do you make it? List everything that must be done in your life; delegate as much as you can; next, eliminate what is not necessary, then prioritise and execute what is left.
• PRACTISE the Hour of Power: 20 minutes of exercise, 20 minutes of reading and 20 minutes of meditation each morning.
• OBSERVE the Power of the Hour: schedule an appointment with yourself midday to regroup, reflect and reprioritise. This will make your afternoons more productive.
• RECORD how your time is spent. When you do this, you become more aware and alert, thereby improving your focus and allocation of time.
• REMEMBER that slow is fast—when you slow down and spend more time with your family, you notice a lot more about them, and have time to actually hear them out. Consequently, your relationships get better as your attention and care create impact. Or, as another example, if you start eating slowly, you can enjoy your food better and feel full faster.
• FOCUS on the 20 per cent of things that give you 80 per cent of value.
• WRITE the top three goals you want to accomplish the next day before you go to bed, and work on them exclusively [at least till 2pm the next day]. Then you can take care of smaller tasks.
• SPEND quality time with business partners, colleagues, customers, spouse, children and parents.
• DEFINE what a successful day and week means to you. Then set about achieving it.
• DEVELOP the attitude that you will manage time, and not that time will manage you!

The post The effortless way to work-life balance appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Rather, they “were constantly testing themselves through real-world experiences and reframing their life stories to understand who they were at their core. In doing so, they discovered the purpose of their leadership and learned how being authentic made them more effective.”

Are you living a lie?

A lot of people fear being themselves because they feel they won’t be liked or accepted. If someone likes you when you are living a lie, he may stop associating with you when he finds out the real you; because sooner or later, truth reveals itself. By pretending to be someone you are not just for garnering attention, you are most likely to end up attracting the wrong people.

Not being yourself can also lead to a no-win situation. If you are not a genuine expression of yourself, the acclaim of your colleagues and your friends will amount to little. It is important that you like yourself first, and that can only happen if you allow yourself to be true to your inner being.

Authenticity is not just the key to a long-lasting career; it is the key to developing real, meaningful power

Costco co-founder and former CEO, Jim Sinegal, answered his own phone line, maintained a small office, paid himself a salary far lower than that of his peers and wore a nametag that simply said, “Jim”. This made him wildly popular with his employees, and left him with the lowest employee turnover rate in the retail industry.

McDonald’s founder Ray Kroc expected all employees to keep McDonald’s clean and did not exempt himself from the job—he picked up the garbage found in the parking lots of every McDonald’s outlet that he visited.

Authentic leadership is the only leadership that endures, because it exists as a function of the individual rather than a crowd of borrowed opinions.

The key to real power

Authenticity is not just the key to a long-lasting career; it is the key to developing real, meaningful power. Charisma, though an important quality of leadership, can lead to destructive behaviour if it’s not tethered to authentic values. Jordan Belfort [the stockbroker whose crimes were dramatised in the film, The Wolf of Wall Street] and Bernard Madoff used their charisma to swindle people out of their life’s savings. Both these men had power but it was not tethered to good, authentic values. Real power comes from authenticity.

If you want your success to be sustainable, if you want it to have a strong foundation, if you want it to have purpose and meaning, there is no other way than to be authentic.

Be careful about judging others because you do not know what they are going through

Your inner light shines through you when you are credible and trustworthy, and honest enough to admit to your limitations. The reality is that even with all your limitations, you are still unique and special. Embrace who you are, flaws and all. If you try to be someone else, you only become a ‘second-best someone’. As they say: “Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.”

Challenge yourself with the following ‘How to’ exercises:

ACCEPT and realise your imperfections. Shortcomings are part of who you are. Accepting this makes you powerful because now you can understand and relate to others. You will also be more open to feedback, guidance, and constructive criticism.

LIVE a life of honesty and integrity. It’s likely that you will succeed in some areas, but not in others. View every gap as an opportunity to grow.

KNOW that being different is good. Your USP comes from being different and unique. Achievers like Michael Jordan, Steve Jobs and JK Rowling were often regarded as eccentric or reckless.

RADIATE confidence. When you are authentic, you can be confident that you are doing the right thing. You can also have confidence that the people in your life who are not aligned with you are not supposed to be in your life anyway.

BE non-judgemental. Be careful about judging others because you do not know what they are going through.

ADMIT mistakes and apologise because this builds trust. This may seem hard because we fear that we may appear incompetent. However, small inadequacies in life are normal and can be accepted by almost everyone. Dishonesty and cover-ups are far worse.

PRACTICE courage. Speak the truth and allow yourself to be vulnerable. For example, in a staff meeting, ask for help if you need it, ask a question, speak up about a concern you may have. Don’t worry about what others may think. By expressing yourself authentically, you inspire others in your team to be real and take timely action.

BE true to yourself. Before embarking on something, ask: Does this feel right to me? When you are true to yourself, you are generally true to others.

The post Are you being an authentic leader? appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Studies show that people who multi-task are less effective at their work, as compared to those who focus on one task at a time. Attention requires mental and physical energy that your body can create only in limited amounts. Focussing on anything consumes a considerable amount of glucose from your body and brain. This means distractions take a mental and physical toll on us.

Research also indicates that distractions take up almost two hours a day for most employees, most of whom only spend 11 minutes working on a project before they become distracted by something else, after which it takes them 25 minutes to refocus. So, in addition to affecting you at a personal level, distractions also have an adverse impact on your daily business targets.

Why do we get distracted?

Why do we get distracted so easily? Well, aside from distractions created by others, most of us become distracted by thinking about the past, the future… any time but the present. You have a limited amount of energy, especially for tasks that are not uplifting or relevant. Therefore, whenever you engage in less important tasks, you deplete your energy.

When you are in the present moment, you’re able to powerfully engage with those around you. Being alert and aware of the present moment, besides enhancing your productivity, also functions as an excellent tool for gleaning critical insights from your environment, and this helps you to make well thought out decisions at work.

For example, when you meet with your team, you can have two different types of meetings. One is where you are alert and open to both the verbal and non-verbal cues of your team, which helps you gather critical information to decide the next course of action. The second is where you have already made up your mind, and the meeting is held merely to manipulate others to accept your point of view; hence, you receive no valuable feedback from team members, which leads to sub-par performance.

How to come back to the present

During the course of your work it’s easy to miss the present moment and get overwhelmed with the demands of the day. Here are a few simple exercises that can help you regain your present-moment awareness. Use them at every opportunity.

1. Every hour, stop and ask: Am I really present in this moment? If not, what are my thoughts focussed on? Doing this often will help you return to the present moment.

You may wonder how to practise this if you are already doing an activity that is very engaging. Taking a moment to reflect on these questions will help you assess if you are really present and focussed on the priority task—which is good—or if you are focussed on a less important task.

2. Spend a few minutes each day with Nature; it will calm you. Watch a tree’s leaves move when the wind blows, reflecting non-resistance. While looking at the ocean, see the abundance, neutrality and oneness of the Universe. Nature has many messages for us and this practice will help separate your good thoughts from the cluttered ones. Spending some quiet time alone each day is essential to your inner wellbeing.

3. When in the moment, look at difficulties you have and ask: “What can I learn from this problem?” How is this problem affecting you in the larger scheme of things? Think about one thing you can do to minimise the problem and act upon it right away.

Why this approach? Because, it takes you away from worrying about the problem, which is pointless. Instead, you can view the problem from a distance and the objectivity will help you act on the problem. This will minimise the mental energy you invest in it and also offer a realistic perspective on the situation.

4. Ask yourself: “What can I do in the present moment to create a positive impact?

5. Say thank you a few times in a day for all the good things in your life. As you count your blessings, they multiply.

6. When driving, observe your surroundings, listen to music or an educational audio to stay in the present moment and avoid fretting about the serpentine traffic.

7. Forgive someone in the present moment by giving them the benefit of the doubt. This is liberating! Start with small things, such as when someone does not thank you for a favour you did, or when someone fails to apologise when they accidentally push you. As you get good at this, you will realise how much negative energy you stave off. This will help you forgive bigger transgressions, such as pardoning someone for taking away some of your business or cheating you on an investment deal.

8. Think of someone you care about and send loving thoughts in the present moment.

The post 8 simple ways to bring yourself to the present moment appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.