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	<title>Alex Pattakos, Author at Complete Wellbeing</title>
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		<title>How choosing your attitude brings meaning to your life</title>
		<link>https://completewellbeing.com/article/choosing-attitude-brings-meaning-life/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Alex Pattakos]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 06 Feb 2017 04:30:10 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Alex Pattakos]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[book excerpt]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Elaine Dundon]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[freedom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[life]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Prisoners of our thoughts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Viktor Frankl]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://completewellbeing.com/?p=50877</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>We must resist the temptation to remain prisoners of our thoughts and exercise the freedom to choose our attitude, no matter what</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://completewellbeing.com/article/choosing-attitude-brings-meaning-life/">How choosing your attitude brings meaning to your life</a> appeared first on <a href="https://completewellbeing.com">Complete Wellbeing</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="quote">&#8220;Everything can be taken from a man but&#8230;the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s way.&#8221;<br />
—<a href="http://www.viktorfrankl.org/e/lifeandwork.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Viktor Frankl</a></div>
<p>Human beings are, by nature, creatures of habit. Searching for a life that is both predictable and within our comfort zone, we rely on routine and, for the most part, learned thinking patterns. We create pathways in our minds in much the same way that a path is beaten through a grass field from repeated use. Because these patterns are automatic, we may believe these habitual ways of thinking and behaving to be beyond our control. Thus we rationalise our responses to life and fall prey to forces that limit our potential as human beings. By viewing ourselves as relatively powerless and driven by instinct, the possibility that we can create, or at least <em>co-create</em>, our own reality becomes difficult to grasp. Instead, we often lock ourselves inside our own mental prisons. We lose sight of our own natural potential and that of others. In essence, we become prisoners of our thoughts.</p>
<p>Yet we can reshape our patterns of thinking. Through our own search for meaning, we can unfreeze ourselves from our limited perspective, find the key, and unlock the door of our metaphorical prison cell. We can change our perspective once we realise that we do, indeed, have the freedom to choose our attitude toward whatever is happening in our lives.</p>
<div class="quote">&#8220;Each of us has his own inner concentration camp&#8230;we must deal with, with forgiveness and patience— as full human beings; as we are and what we will become.&#8221;<br />
—Viktor Frankl</div>
<p>The responsibility for choosing our attitude lies solely with each of us. It cannot be transferred to someone else. This ultimate responsibility applies both to our personal and our work lives. We have made this claim over the years to various business and government clients, especially in cases where workers, including executives and managers, seem intent on complaining about their working conditions rather than doing anything to change the situation. We all know people who habitually define their work or job in a negative way.</p>
<p>Take, for example, Bob, who would appear to many to be a fairly successful bank executive. However, his work journey has taken him through some dramatic twists and turns, causing him much stress. Bob rarely, if ever, seems positive or optimistic about his job and, by extension, his life. He complains incessantly about his responsibilities, his colleagues, his customers, his community, and just about every other aspect of his working life. Bob’s colleagues and family hear nothing but stories of misery, negativity, and despair.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, Bob seems unable and unwilling to see that he is creating his own reality, that his constant complaining is hampering his work success and negatively affecting his family and his personal life. One by one, Bob’s friends have drifted away from him, not wanting to surround themselves with such negativity. His family perseveres, enduring through a sense of obligation but certainly not through a sense of joy.</p>
<blockquote><p>The responsibility for choosing our attitude lies solely with each of us</p></blockquote>
<p>Complaining about a miserable job around the water cooler or starting a “bitch and moan club” at the office might offer moments of camaraderie, but it doesn’t nurture meaning— for oneself or for others. The idea that work is neither fun nor fulfilling takes a huge toll on our ability to bring meaning to our work. When we habitually complain, we make meaninglessness a habit. Before long, we are so deeply invested in complaining that any opportunity to see the work experience as a rich part of our lives vanishes. Instead of taking the time to find meaning, we take the time to find and focus on meaninglessness. Such complaints trivialise our experiences— both at work and in our personal lives. When we complain, we disconnect. When we complain, we hold whatever or whoever we’re complaining about as a shield. We therefore perpetuate victimisation and helplessness.</p>
<p>What is a serial complainer to do? The first task is to become aware of when and why we are complaining. The second task is to stop complaining! This doesn’t mean we won’t complain once in a while; it means that we become aware of when we are complaining and that we are choosing to complain, choosing to be negative. This does not mean that we deny our burdens, our grief, and our worries and sign on to a Pollyannaish, blindly optimistic perspective of the world. Viktor Frankl certainly had the opportunity to complain. He could have chosen to be negative. However, he excavated the darkest despair and discovered meaning in his circumstances. He didn’t have to create the meaning— it was there waiting to be found. He knew well the meaning of unavoidable suffering through his experience in the Nazi concentration camps. He knew the darkest human behaviour and, at the same time, the brightest light of human possibility. Frankl carried the awareness of both potentialities, which deepened his humanity and created in him a deep and abiding faith. He saw people rise out of the most depraved circumstances and offer all they had to others. Viktor Frankl saw the manifestation of spirit on a daily basis.</p>
<blockquote><p>When we habitually complain, we make meaninglessness a habit</p></blockquote>
<p>When we recognise that we always have the ultimate freedom to choose our attitude, we are free to choose whether it will be negative or positive. By releasing our negative attitude, we release energy that can then be used to connect more meaningfully with others. When we authentically connect more deeply with others, we create a new community of support and possibility. When we make this kind of authentic connection, we can’t avoid meaning. It’s waiting for us around every water cooler, in every elevator, cubbyhole, taxicab, conference room, and corporate boardroom. When we open ourselves to meaning, when we stop to appreciate ourselves and others in meaningful ways, we immediately enhance the quality of our own lives as well as the lives of those around us.</p>
<h2>Ten Positive Things Exercise</h2>
<p>One of the simplest yet most powerful tools we use to reinforce and apply the “Exercise the Freedom to Choose Your Attitude” principle is our “Ten Positive Things Exercise.” To begin, think of a situation in your personal life or at work that is particularly stressful, negative, or challenging for you. Now write ten positive things that resulted from or could result from this situation. Write down any thoughts that come to mind, without filtering them for realism or social acceptance. Try to list as many positives as you can, going beyond ten if possible. Feel free to determine or define what “positive” means to you. After you have completed your list, review it and let the positives become possibilities in your mind. This requires letting go of your current blocked or old ways of thinking, moving beyond disappointment or frustration, and perhaps even abandoning anger. This exercise can open you to a higher level of optimism, no matter how challenging your personal circumstance.</p>
<p>The “Ten Positive Things Exercise” can be applied to many situations. Imagine doing this exercise with this instruction: List ten positive things that would happen if you died today. Most people are not used to discussing, contemplating, and exploring the positives associated with someone’s death, let alone their own! Having done this exercise with many groups, we can assure you that once people get over the initial shock and resistance, they relax and actually have a great deal of fun looking for the positives in what is perhaps the most catastrophic situation imaginable. Many people start to see a silver lining or hopeful side in something even as terrible as their own deaths. On one occasion, we had a participant state as a positive: “My wife can finally marry the person she always wanted to marry!”</p>
<p>If we can find something positive to say about our own death, it should be easier to find something positive about our work situation, family life, and so forth. Use this exercise to help you find the positives in such varying and challenging circumstances as losing your job, being in a car accident, and others.</p>
<p><strong>Try these:</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>List ten positive things that would happen if you lost your job today.</li>
<li>List ten positive things that would happen if your department at work was eliminated.</li>
<li>List ten positive things that would happen from a breakdown in the production line at work.</li>
<li>List ten positive things that would happen with an across-the-board 20 percent budget cut at work.</li>
<li>List ten positive things that would happen if you were in a car accident.</li>
<li>List ten positive things that would happen if your credit card was lost.</li>
<li>List ten positive things that would happen if your romantic relationship ended today.</li>
<li>List ten positive things that would happen if you gained weight.</li>
</ul>
<p>Each of these situations can be viewed from many different perspectives. No matter how desperate the situation or condition may be, we can always find something positive upon which to focus our attention. When we view the situation in a different light, new ideas, solutions, and opportunities are more likely to come to the surface. Our experience with conducting this exercise in group settings has shown that the positive energy among participants increases dramatically as they learn new things about themselves, each other, and the specific situation they are facing. Everyone learns to release themselves from their self-imposed thought prisons and, as a result, recognises that ultimately we are all free to choose our attitude, no matter what the circumstance.</p>
<blockquote><p>Many people start to see a silver lining or hopeful side in something even as terrible as their own deaths</p></blockquote>
<h2>Exercise in Action</h2>
<p>We have effectively used the “Ten Positive Things Exercise” in many different settings, in a wide variety of life and work situations. Here are two examples of the exercise in action.</p>
<h3>Father and daughter</h3>
<p>The first example involves a client-training session we were conducting in Alaska with the U.S. Forest Service. At the end of the first day of a two-day session, we overheard comments from one of the more reluctant participants, Paul; he was not interested in the training and didn’t feel that it was relevant to him. The “Ten Positive Things Exercise” had been introduced and practised that afternoon, and Paul obviously was not impressed.</p>
<div class="floatright alsoread">You may also like» <a href="/article/what-do-you-notice/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">What do you notice?</a></div>
<p>The next morning when we returned to the training venue, we noticed Paul sitting beside two other participants, laughing. When we asked him what had happened, he reported that when he went home the evening after our session, he was shocked to learn that his teenage daughter had received a tongue piercing and was now sporting a new piece of jewellery in her mouth. Angry and upset, Paul argued with his daughter and wife; in short, he had a terrible night with his family. When he returned to the training session, looking tired and depressed, he confessed to his two co-workers what had happened. Immediately, they asked him to list ten positive things that might result from his daughter’s action of piercing her tongue. Working together, he and his co-workers identified many potential positives to be gained from Paul’s stressful experience (for example, his daughter was alive, she wasn’t pregnant, she wasn’t in jail, she had shared this event with him, and so on). By looking at these optimistic realities, Paul fostered an entirely new and positive attitude toward his daughter and even our training session! Doing this exercise put this situation in perspective for Paul and helped him to see that things could have been worse for his teenage daughter. He soon changed his attitude about the piercing.</p>
<h3>Free even in the prison</h3>
<p>The second example involves a unique twist. I (Alex) had been asked to conduct a workshop on the principles outlined in <em>Prisoners of Our Thoughts</em> for inmates at a state penitentiary. The idea of discussing ways to escape one’s inner mental prison with actual inmates, some of whom had been sentenced to serve years in prison, was an unusual and challenging opportunity. “Okay, everyone, I would like you to list 10 positive things about being in prison,” I told the group of about two dozen inmates, who looked at me like I was crazy. In a room designated primarily for education and training purposes, the inmates sat at tables arranged in a circle. Each participant had been given a pad of paper and a small pencil (confiscated at the end of the session for security reasons). They began writing. Some inmates grumbled and others laughed at what they had been asked to do, but all of them participated in the exercise in one way or another. As expected, some participants were unable to find anything positive in their incarceration, at least not until they heard what their fellow inmates had to say. Some inmates were very serious in the way they framed their responses to this exercise, while others let their imaginations soar with a sense of humour that might have seemed out of place under such circumstances. Here are some examples across the spectrum of what they shared:</p>
<ul>
<li>“Society is now protected from me since I’m locked up.”</li>
<li>“I now know what I don’t want to do with (the rest of) my life.”</li>
<li>“I can be a role model for others so that they don’t do what I did.”</li>
<li>“I’m no longer homeless.”</li>
<li>“I’ve learned who my real friends are and who aren’t.”</li>
<li>“I’ve been reborn and now value life and freedom like never before.”</li>
<li>“I get to work out a lot.”</li>
</ul>
<p>Of course, these reflections comprise only a snapshot of what the participants shared. The exercise lifted the heavy weight of the energy in the room and tapped into the human spirit. The participants no longer had to think and act only as prison inmates, so each person could experience, even with a sense of humour, the sharing of his authentic thoughts and feelings with the others. The experience enabled them to explore what some might call the silver lining in their current predicament. By being challenged <em>not </em>to be prisoners of their thoughts, each participant had the chance to exercise the freedom to choose his attitude despite the circumstance of being incarcerated in an actual prison.</p>
<div class="excerptedfrom"><a href="https://completewellbeing.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/prisoners-of-our-thoughts.jpeg" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img decoding="async" class="alignleft wp-image-50941" src="https://completewellbeing.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/prisoners-of-our-thoughts.jpeg" alt="Prisoners of Our Thoughts by Alex Pattakos and Elaine Dundon" width="60" height="93" srcset="https://completewellbeing.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/prisoners-of-our-thoughts.jpeg 232w, https://completewellbeing.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/prisoners-of-our-thoughts-193x300.jpeg 193w" sizes="(max-width: 60px) 100vw, 60px" /></a>This article has been adapted from <a href="http://amzn.to/2jKduOn" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>Prisoners of Our Thoughts </em></a><em>(Third Edition, Revised and Expanded)</em> by Alex Pattakos and Elaine Dundon; Published by Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc. Used with permission from the authors.<br />
<a href="http://amzn.to/2jKduOn" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Buy this book</a>.</div>
<p>The post <a href="https://completewellbeing.com/article/choosing-attitude-brings-meaning-life/">How choosing your attitude brings meaning to your life</a> appeared first on <a href="https://completewellbeing.com">Complete Wellbeing</a>.</p>
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		<title>Finding joy and meaning in everyday life and work</title>
		<link>https://completewellbeing.com/article/finding-joy-and-meaning-in-everyday-life-and-work/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Alex Pattakos]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 01 Nov 2014 07:30:55 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Elaine Dundon]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[good life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Long-Form]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[worthiness]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://completewellbeing.com/?p=25192</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>In chasing ‘the good life,’ many of us sacrifice our relationships, our health, and our sanity, but at the end of the day, we still find ourselves with lives and work that bring us little fulfillment. That’s because, the good life is not about the pursuit of happiness, as happiness is superficial and fleeting. It’s about meaning, and about knowing that our lives and work matter</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://completewellbeing.com/article/finding-joy-and-meaning-in-everyday-life-and-work/">Finding joy and meaning in everyday life and work</a> appeared first on <a href="https://completewellbeing.com">Complete Wellbeing</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<blockquote><p>“Man, a being in search of meaning.”<br />
<cite>—<a href="https://www.britannica.com/biography/Plato" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Plato</a></cite></p></blockquote>
<p>On our travels around the world, we’ve encountered many people who have told us that they felt something was missing in their lives and that they felt overwhelmed, lonely and unfulfilled. A pessimistic air seems to have engulfed our world, with increased levels of stress due to unemployment or job insecurity, financial hardship, health and relationship issues. Today, we see that despite being in an increasingly networked and connected world via technology, too many people feel disconnected from and untrusting of others—neighbours, co-workers, leaders—and, perhaps most importantly, from themselves.</p>
<p>Unsure of where to turn for solutions, many seek to ‘escape’ through addictions: television, sex, food, alcohol, drugs, shopping, gambling, the Internet, etc. Left unchecked, these pursuits can turn into a vicious, downward cycle and manifest themselves as an endless and joyless undertaking—much like the one experienced by the Greek hero <a href="http://www.greekmythology.com/Myths/Mortals/Sisyphus/sisyphus.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Sisyphus</a>, who was ordered by the gods to push a big rock uphill, only to see it slip out of his hands at the very last moment and roll down the hill once more.</p>
<h2>Is happiness the answer?</h2>
<p>Some say the solution is to seek happiness. “<em>Just find something that will make you happy</em>” is the advice we hear often. But what does this really mean? Does it mean a person should find something to make them happy in the moment, perhaps distracting themselves from the reality of their life? Although this approach might provide temporary reprieve, we believe that life is not about the pursuit of happiness. Happiness is not the ultimate goal of life. <a href="/article/happiness-confuses/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Happiness is an emotion</a> that is linked to pleasure but it is fleeting; it doesn’t last.</p>
<p>We can share a happy moment when we are enjoying a good meal or a good laugh with a friend, but this emotion only lasts a short time. Believing that happiness will relieve us from our anxiety and stress is misguided. What happens when life throws us a curve, when things don’t go well, when we face suffering, illness, or death? What happens when our ability to make sense of life is challenged? The pursuit of happiness will not necessarily help us in these difficult times, nor will it bring us the deep sense of fulfillment we are all looking for in life.</p>
<figure id="attachment_47899" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-47899" style="width: 275px" class="wp-caption alignright"><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" class="wp-image-47899" src="https://completewellbeing.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/why-am-i-here-1a.jpg" alt="Christopher Reeve after the accident" width="275" height="201" srcset="https://completewellbeing.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/why-am-i-here-1a.jpg 400w, https://completewellbeing.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/why-am-i-here-1a-300x219.jpg 300w" sizes="(max-width: 275px) 100vw, 275px" /><figcaption id="caption-attachment-47899" class="wp-caption-text">Superman in reel and real life—Christopher Reeve after the accident; here he discusses the potential benefits of stem cell research at a neuroscience conference at MIT. Pic: Mike Lin</figcaption></figure>
<p><a href="https://www.christopherreeve.org/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Christopher Reeve</a>, known all over the world for his leading role in <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superman_(1978_film)" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>Superman</em></a>, had a bright acting career and a life filled with unlimited possibilities ahead of him. He was thrown from a horse in a tragic accident that broke his neck, and he was challenged to make new sense of his life as a quadriplegic. An inspirational role model for others, Reeve proved to be a real Superman after his accident, not because he chose to pursue happiness as his ultimate goal, but because he searched for something much deeper—the “strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.” Moreover, in spite of having been thrown a curve by life, Reeve not only survived but also thrived in his remaining years by fighting for himself, for his family, and for thousands of people with spinal cord injuries around the world. By engaging with a deeper purpose and extending beyond himself, this real-life Superman found happiness not by pursuing it but by allowing it to <em>ensue</em> as the unintended side-effect of his dedication to a cause greater than himself.</p>
<h2>Is it power we want?</h2>
<p>Some believe the solution is to seek power over our lives and the lives of others. Power is about being strong and dominant, having [or trying to have] control over other people, events, or things in our environment. Ultimately, though, the pursuit of power leads to emptiness because power over others, and even most of our personal circumstances, is actually an illusion. Power is an exhausting game to play and, like pleasure, it is fleeting and always subject to unforeseen forces. In this connection, the search for power also becomes an endless and joyless undertaking.</p>
<p>The search for power in our lives is parallel to our search for happiness and pleasure. For the most part, it too is ‘out there.’ Power over our employees, our bosses, our customers, our shareholders, our kids, the waiter in a restaurant, or a clerk in a retail store is illusory at best and terribly destructive at worst. We think we have power, but we never know for sure. Even if we do, in the power game there’s always an opponent; the ground is always shifting. Just ask the parents of teenagers who, even with the best of intentions, find that parental guidance is much easier said than done! Indeed, with parenting comes the realisation that the search for ‘power’ over children is an exhausting, ever-shifting game!</p>
<blockquote><p>Power is an exhausting game to play and, like pleasure, it is fleeting and always subject to unforeseen forces</p></blockquote>
<h2>What about money?</h2>
<p class="wp-image-47900">The pursuit of power through monetary wealth is also an illusion, one that often leads to unintended consequences. We have all heard people express the idea that more wealth will bring them meaning and fulfillment. “<em>If only I had more money</em>.” “<em>If only I had a bigger house</em>.” “<em>If only I had a first class ticket</em>.” We’ve been conditioned to believe that these are authentic symbols of success—the more the better. Having money and material things has become the end goal for many people because they can count it, keep score, and use it to compare themselves to others. Living the ‘good life’ seems to be just one <em>thing</em> away.</p>
<figure id="attachment_47900" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-47900" style="width: 315px" class="wp-caption alignright"><img decoding="async" class="wp-image-47900" src="https://completewellbeing.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/why-am-i-here-2.jpg" alt="Man with his head down in front of coins" width="315" height="228" srcset="https://completewellbeing.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/why-am-i-here-2.jpg 400w, https://completewellbeing.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/why-am-i-here-2-300x217.jpg 300w, https://completewellbeing.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/why-am-i-here-2-324x235.jpg 324w" sizes="(max-width: 315px) 100vw, 315px" /><figcaption id="caption-attachment-47900" class="wp-caption-text">We use money to keep score and compare ourselves with others</figcaption></figure>
<p>But when we don’t look the way we think we should or if we don’t have the same [or greater] amount of wealth or abundance of things as others do, we trap ourselves into thinking that it is we who are not enough. In other words, we become “prisoners of our thoughts.” Unfortunately, such feelings of inadequacy and the relentless pursuit of trying to overcome them typically lead to increased stress, and often depression.</p>
<p class="wp-image-47900">The costs, whether intended or unintended, obvious or hidden, of the hunt for more power and money, which effectively is a primitive form of the search for power, are staggering. We postpone finding and experiencing deep meaning in our lives when we are so busy seeking and trying to get ‘more’. We ignore our relationships while we focus on accumulating more; we overlook our health in our chase for more. Interestingly, the results of many research studies have shown that once we achieve a certain level of wealth, enough to cover the basics of life, any increase in new wealth does not necessarily result in a lot more satisfaction, especially lasting satisfaction. In other words, doubling our money won’t bring about a doubling of meaning in our lives.</p>
<h2>It’s not about happiness or power, it’s about meaning</h2>
<figure id="attachment_47901" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-47901" style="width: 200px" class="wp-caption alignright"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="wp-image-47901" src="https://completewellbeing.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/why-am-i-here-3.jpg" alt="Dr Viktor Frankl" width="200" height="217" srcset="https://completewellbeing.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/why-am-i-here-3.jpg 400w, https://completewellbeing.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/why-am-i-here-3-277x300.jpg 277w, https://completewellbeing.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/why-am-i-here-3-388x420.jpg 388w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 200px) 100vw, 200px" /><figcaption id="caption-attachment-47901" class="wp-caption-text">Viktor Frankl. Pic:CC BY-SA 3.0 DE by Prof. Dr. Franz Vesely</figcaption></figure>
<p>We strongly believe that the overall goal of our lives is to live a <em>meaningful</em> life, which is really what the ancient Greek philosophers referred to as the ‘good life’. In this context, world-renowned psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, author of the classic bestseller, <a href="http://amzn.to/2fTKRA2" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>Man’s Search for Meaning</em></a>, famously espoused that the search for meaning is the primary, intrinsic motivation of human beings. Importantly, Dr Frankl also advised that we don’t really create meaning—we <em>find</em> it. And we can’t find it if we don’t look for it.</p>
<p>Many people refer to Aristotle as one of the first to say that the goal of life is happiness because of his reference to the Greek word ‘evdemonia’. Unfortunately, they are making an error in the translation and interpretation of this important Greek word and concept believing that it means ‘happiness’ in English <sup><a id="ref1" href="#fn1">[1]</a></sup>. “<em>Evdemonia demands not only complete goodness but a complete life</em>,” professed Aristotle. He believed that evdemonia could be achieved through the proper development of our highest potential as human beings, which involves knowing ourselves, developing virtue and character, taking right action, and going beyond ourselves to help others. True evdemonia—being deeply fulfilled by living a <em>meaningful </em>life—is measured not at the surface of our being but deep <em>within</em> our soul. So you can see, <em>meaning</em> is much deeper, expansive, and transformative than just the pursuit of happiness, power, or money/wealth!</p>
<h2>Applying meaning to everyday life</h2>
<p>Only the search for meaning holds the potential to bring the kind of authentic enrichment and fulfillment that most people desire in their personal and work lives. So how do we apply the concept of meaning in our everyday lives and work?</p>
<figure id="attachment_47902" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-47902" style="width: 319px" class="wp-caption alignright"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="wp-image-47902" src="https://completewellbeing.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/why-am-i-here-4.jpg" alt="Woman looking through the window" width="319" height="242" srcset="https://completewellbeing.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/why-am-i-here-4.jpg 400w, https://completewellbeing.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/why-am-i-here-4-300x227.jpg 300w, https://completewellbeing.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/why-am-i-here-4-80x60.jpg 80w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 319px) 100vw, 319px" /><figcaption id="caption-attachment-47902" class="wp-caption-text">By reflecting upon our existence, we create the opportunity to draft our personal legacy</figcaption></figure>
<p><span style="color: #ff0000;"><strong>FIRST,</strong></span> we should underscore that it’s not about the big existential question, “<em>what is the meaning of life</em>”. Rather, it is the search for meaning in <em>your own</em> life that is most important. Meaning comes in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes it looms big in our life; sometimes it slips in almost unobserved. In short, meaning is different for everyone—there is no one right answer—there is only the answer that is <em>right for you</em>.</p>
<p>We cannot answer the big question unless we discover answers to the smaller ones: What are we doing? Why are we doing it? What do our lives mean to us? What does our work mean? Every day our lives are rich with meaningful answers, but only if we stop long enough to appreciate meaning will it bloom in our lives. By reflecting upon our existence and seeking to detect the meaning of life’s moments, we also create the opportunity to draft our personal legacy. In other words, how do we want to be remembered?</p>
<p><span style="color: #ff0000;"><strong>SECOND,</strong></span> meaning always exists and therefore can be found in the everyday moments of our lives, so there doesn’t have to be just one answer to the question on how to find it. However, it’s up to us to detect the meaning of the experiences we have each day. Another ancient Greek philosopher, Epictetus, wisely advised that it’s not the event but the meaning you put to it that matters most. What’s more, meaning can be found even in situations that do not bring us happiness or power. Viktor Frankl was convinced that, in the final analysis, “there is no situation that does not contain within it the seed of a meaning.” So, find the seeds of meaning in all that happens to you today.</p>
<p><span style="color: #ff0000;"><strong>THIRD,</strong></span> it is important to define the concept of meaning. Some people define meaning in terms of feeling that your life matters while others define meaning in terms of extending beyond yourself to serve something bigger than yourself. We go beyond these types of definitions to offer a simpler, more metaphysical definition:</p>
<p><em>Meaning is the connection to your true nature or, as we call it, your core essence.</em></p>
<p>Meaning comes with being ‘who’ we are in this world. When you believe something is meaningful, it is because it resonates with your true nature or core essence. When you believe something lacks meaning or is meaningless, it is because it does not resonate with your true nature or core essence.</p>
<blockquote><p>It is the search for meaning in <em>your own</em> life that is most important</p></blockquote>
<p>In a metaphysical way, your life involves the continual search for a closer connection<br />
to your true nature or core essence, throughout each day and over the course<br />
of your entire life.</p>
<p>Every living thing in the world has a natural state and qualities or attributes that make it who or what it is. Our core essence is what defines us and is at the heart of what makes us a unique human being. Although we can belong to a certain group and share characteristics of that group, we are still a unique being with our own unique essence.</p>
<p>The greatest challenge we face is to discover and embrace our core essence. Many people tend to focus on what type of job or career they think they should have, where they should live, or with whom they should have relationships. But, in actuality, a truly meaningful life starts from, remains engaged with, and ultimately returns to, one’s core essence—awakening our true selves by connecting to whom we really are. As Euripides, an ancient Greek playwright proposed thousands of years ago, “<em>there is one life for each of us; our own</em>.”</p>
<p>The search for, the discovery of, and the connection with our true nature or core essence are what gives our lives <em>meaning</em> every day.</p>
<p><span style="color: #ff0000;"><strong>FOURTH,</strong></span> it is important to understand how meaning can infiltrate and therefore affect many parts of our lives on a daily basis. Fundamentally, we believe that meaning should be at the core of all that we do, each day. In order to live a complete life, we must understand what brings us meaning in our lives and what drains meaning from our lives. When we know this, all things become clearer. We come to know and feel more confident in our decisions and direction, and we also notice more energy flowing to and through us to others. In other words, we are no longer working against the flow of who we really are.</p>
<blockquote><p>The greatest challenge we face is to discover and embrace our core essence</p></blockquote>
<h2>Meaning leads to engagement and resilience</h2>
<p>To be <em>engaged</em> means to be involved with and connected to a certain activity, to the people who surround you, or more metaphysically, to your true nature or core essence. Conversely, to be disengaged means to be disconnected from the activity, other people, and/or your true nature.</p>
<p>In many workplaces around the world, leaders complain about people with whom they work as being disengaged from and disinterested in the work they are doing and in other people. Metaphorically-speaking, we’ve been invited as advisers to workplaces where, like a scene from the M. Night Shyamalan supernatural film, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0167404/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>The Sixth Sense</em></a>, “we’ve seen dead people!” Although there are leaders who have attempted to implement so-called ‘engagement programmes’ in their organisations, more often than not, these programmes fail because they do not address the real underlying issue: the lack of connection to the true meaning of the work. Employees want to feel that their work matters to them and to others [co-workers, customers, citizens, and the broader society]. Employees also want to challenge themselves to discover new sides of themselves, to discover new talents, new viewpoints.</p>
<p>In a broader sense, we are also witnessing a lack of engagement in our neighbourhoods, villages, cities, and societies as a whole. People tell us that they want to connect meaningfully with others. Yet, we are finding that people feel lonelier than ever before and, sadly, share that they feel that they have very few people with whom to talk openly and share their ‘real lives.’ We’ve found that the more time people spend interacting with their electronic devices, the less time they spend in face-to-face contact with others and the lonelier they feel. Aristotle wisely espoused that “<em>man is a political animal</em>,” which means that we find meaning in interacting face-to-face with others and in knowing that we are not alone. We must remember that our relationships and our villages are built one conversation at a time, so we must remain vigilant and make the effort to counterbalance all the potentially false connections made online in the ‘virtual’ world!</p>
<blockquote><p> Employees want to feel that their work matters to them and to others</p></blockquote>
<p>To be <em>resilient</em> means to be flexible, capable of adapting to and quickly recovering from difficulties or change. The nature of life is change but we often resist this fact of life, wanting things to remain the same, trying to design and control our lives so that change does not happen. But the status quo is yet another illusion because even if we want to stand still, everyone and everything else around us is changing. Indeed, there is a saying, “If you want things to stay the same, then something is going to have to change!” Life cannot be pre-programmed, for it flows like a river, twisting and turning, changing at different rates, sometimes appearing more stable, while at other times, tossing us around in the turbulent rapids. We can try our best to hold onto the sides of the river of life to resist the flow, dreading or fearing change but, in the end, we know that life requires us to surrender to the forward motion and “go with the flow!”</p>
<p>From our book, <a href="http://amzn.to/2fTKi9r" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>Prisoners of Our Thoughts</em></a>, which was written at the personal urging of Viktor Frankl, we highlight a number of techniques to help you find meaning and build resilience on a daily basis:</p>
<ol>
<li><em><strong>Exercise the freedom to choose your attitude:</strong></em> Even though you cannot determine or control all the circumstances or events that you experience in your life, in all situations, you always have the ultimate freedom to choose your attitude toward them. Searching for the meaning in the situation helps you make sense of it and helps you build the resilience for the changes you may now need to make as a result. For instance, perhaps you were faced with a difficult relationship with a family member or friend, or were facing a difficult boss or co-worker. What was your attitude at first toward the situation? How did your attitude change? What, if anything, did you actually do about changing your attitude? As you think about the situation now, what did you learn from it? What could you have done differently?</li>
<li><em><strong>Shift your focus of attention and look at yourself from a distance:</strong></em> To find the deeper meaning of any given problem or life challenge, deflect your attention from the situation at hand to something else, preferably to something positive, in order to build your coping mechanisms for dealing with stress and change. Moreover, since only human beings possess the capacity to look at themselves from a distance, you have the resilience building option of viewing the situation at hand with a sense of perspective, even with a sense of humour, in order to ensure that you don’t become imprisoned by your thoughts and allow the situation to effectively crush your spirit.<br />
As an example, Viktor Frankl frequently found himself shifting his focus of attention and looking at himself from a distance during his imprisonment in the Nazi concentration camps. Often, as a means of survival, he kept himself going by imagining himself as an observer rather than as a prisoner. This kind of creative distraction or ‘mental excursion’ as a means to build resilience and find meaning in life’s inescapable predicaments and hardships was also used by the Italian film producer and actor, Roberto Benigni, in his internationally-acclaimed, Academy Award-winning movie, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118799/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>Life is Beautiful</em></a>. In this film, Benigni shares his sentimental tale about a man trying to shield his son from the horrors of the Holocaust, which was based on his own father’s two-year ordeal in a Nazi labour camp.Invoking the power of our imagination, including seizing on various fantasies, is a meaningful way to fight off despair and hopelessness no matter what our personal circumstances. Our ability to detach from the distress and focus imaginatively on something that pleases us can return us to our freedom and to our source of authentic meaning.</li>
<li><em><strong>Don’t work against yourself:</strong></em> Often we are our own worst enemy. Although we may say we want something, all our actions and words often support the very opposite. Put differently, have you ever worked so hard at something that the more you tried, the harder the task became and the farther away you seemed to get from your goal? You know, one step forward, two steps backward? In this regard, especially when the stakes are high and our success essential, focusing on the results rather than on the process can prevent a successful outcome. Avoid becoming so fixated on an intent or outcome that you actually work against the desired result. <a href="http://www.viktorfrankl.org/e/lifeandwork.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Viktor Frankl</a> called this “paradoxical intention”—our good intentions actually become the cause of our failure. So how might you use the notion of paradoxical intention in your own life?<br />
Recall a situation in your personal or work life in which the harder you worked to achieve an outcome, the farther away you seemed to be from your goal. Perhaps you were trying to develop a romantic relationship or a close friendship with another person. Perhaps you were seeking a promotion or were trying to get a creative idea or project approved by your boss. How did you first come to recognise that you were not making progress? How did you rationalise or justify your dilemma? To what extent, if any, did you think that you were partly to blame? What, if anything, did you actually do about it? Looking back, what did you learn from the situation and what could you have done [and would now do] differently?</li>
</ol>
<blockquote><p>Often we are our own worst enemy. Although we may say we want something, all our actions and words often support the very opposite</p></blockquote>
<h2>Meaning leads to wellbeing and health</h2>
<figure id="attachment_47903" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-47903" style="width: 316px" class="wp-caption alignright"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="wp-image-47903" src="https://completewellbeing.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/why-am-i-here-5.jpg" alt="Woman jogging" width="316" height="270" srcset="https://completewellbeing.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/why-am-i-here-5.jpg 400w, https://completewellbeing.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/why-am-i-here-5-300x257.jpg 300w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 316px) 100vw, 316px" /><figcaption id="caption-attachment-47903" class="wp-caption-text">Health and wellbeing must start from the core of meaning</figcaption></figure>
<p>Many illnesses are the result of stress and anxiety which, when left untreated, start to negatively affect the body, as well as the mind and spirit. One of the challenges of modern medicine is that we often treat the symptoms of an illness but fail to address its root cause[s]. For various reasons, physicians today have little time to see each patient and even less time to ask about lifestyle or stress and the broader connection between the patient’s spirit, mind, and body. Instead, more often than not, they are forced to focus primarily on relieving symptoms and managing diseases quickly through drugs or surgery.</p>
<p>The vast majority of our health care budgets are spent on treatment versus prevention. If stage I is being healthy, stage II is having stress and blocked energy, and stage III is illness, most people wait until they are in stage III to react and then want quick fixes for their illnesses. If we focussed on the prevention of illness and, in particular, on stages I and II, we would not only be healthier [individually and as nations], we would save billions in health care costs. Just as we actively prevent car accidents by encouraging people to take driver’s education classes, and just as we brush our teeth to prevent cavities, we can learn to take a more proactive approach to our general health and well-being by focusing on the prevention of illness.</p>
<p>Plato wisely said, “<em>the part can not be well unless the whole is well</em>.” Health and wellbeing must start from the core of meaning. When we are engaged in meaningful activities that we enjoy, when we feel that we matter, and when we tap into our optimistic, positive spirit, energy can freely flow within us, through us, and to others. Conversely, when we are engaged in activities that are meaningless to us, when we feel that we are not living authentically, or when we are overwhelmed with anxiety and stress, we lack the connection to our true essence and, therefore, suffer from a lack or void of meaning. Energy ceases to flow smoothly and energy blockages can eventually show up in some form of illness or disease. Everything, as Plato wisely said, is interconnected. Meaning gives energy and power to our desires and intentions and, as a consequence, helps us live healthier, more holistic lives.</p>
<blockquote><p>The vast majority of our health care budgets are spent on treatment versus prevention</p></blockquote>
<h2>Meaning leads to performance and innovation</h2>
<p>Often leaders and managers will ask for higher levels of performance, creativity, and innovation from their team members. Often these requests are ignored or discounted by employees, already feeling that they are contributing more than their fair share and perhaps suffering from high levels of ‘burnout’. Even if some employees have good intentions, often they feel that they just can’t do any more than they are already doing.</p>
<p>People want opportunities at work to express their creativity and to be appreciated for their creative contributions. Importantly, they also want to express who they truly are and who they want to become. In their work lives, they don’t want to have to leave their spirit at the front door in order to ‘fit in’ and, as a result, possibly lose their identity, sense of self-worth, and humanity. In short, they want to make a living but, at the same time, they also want to make a life. If leaders understood the ‘Core of Meaning’ concept with its implications for performance and innovation, workplaces would not only be much more productive and innovative but also more engaging, enjoyable and meaningful.</p>
<p><strong><span style="color: #ff0000;">FIFTH</span>, join the meaning movement!</strong></p>
<p><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="alignright wp-image-47904" src="https://completewellbeing.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/why-am-i-here-6.jpg" alt="Woman at inner peace" width="299" height="257" srcset="https://completewellbeing.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/why-am-i-here-6.jpg 400w, https://completewellbeing.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/why-am-i-here-6-300x258.jpg 300w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 299px) 100vw, 299px" />Finding meaning in everyday life is an ongoing process, one that demands attention to both intrapersonal and interpersonal needs. Moreover, the human quest for meaning, even though it has been a formidable, existential challenge since the very beginning of our species, is now a megatrend whose time has come. In large part, it represents a shift in consciousness, a heightened awareness that life is calling out to us and we are responsible for answering life’s call.</p>
<p>It is significant to note that we are seeing people in all stages and walks of life paying increasing attention to the quest for personal meaning. This is an especially healthy and positive development when considered in the context of the dysfunctional symptoms, stress-related illnesses, and existential angst in the today’s fast-changing, complex and uncertain world.</p>
<p>Against this backdrop, we invite you to join us in the Meaning Movement by encouraging everyone around the world, including yourself, to live and work from the “Core of Meaning.” Meaning is the life energy or fuel that motivates us to achieve our highest potential as human beings. In fact, meaning is an integral part of our innate <em>humanness</em>, and it is the search for meaning, our primary intrinsic motivation, that distinguishes us from other living entities. As explained in our book, <a href="https://www.amazon.in/gp/product/B00NT451Q2/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=compwellmeety-21" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>The OPA! Way</em></a>, we strongly believe that our connections with others, our engagement with deeper purpose, and our ability to face all the ups and downs of life with a resilient attitude, are the key elements and determinants of living a <em>meaningful</em> life. Just imagine how much more joy and meaning there would be in the world if everyone lived from a closer connection to their true nature or core essence. The search for meaning begins with you!</p>
<hr />
<p><sup id="fn1">[1] Evdemonia, which is frequently misspelled phonetically from the Greek language as “<a href="http://www.philosophybasics.com/branch_eudaimonism.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">eudaimonia</a>” or “eudemonia” in English, is much more complex and holistic a notion. Aristotle was actually referring to the deeper concept of “having good demons or spirits” in the literal sense of the word or feeling deeply fulfilled by knowing that one’s life has meaning. Some people try to define or refer to evdemonia with words like flourishing but such descriptors are still too limited and do not give the concept true justice. Plants or animals can flourish whereas the concept of evdemonia involves such personal attributes as deep reflection, reasoning, and good actions.<a title="Jump back to footnote 1 in the text." href="#ref1">↩</a></sup></p>
<hr />
<div class="smalltext"><em>A version of this was first published in the November 2014 issue of</em> Complete Wellbeing.</div>
<p>The post <a href="https://completewellbeing.com/article/finding-joy-and-meaning-in-everyday-life-and-work/">Finding joy and meaning in everyday life and work</a> appeared first on <a href="https://completewellbeing.com">Complete Wellbeing</a>.</p>
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