Abhishek Sohni looked stressed out. He had confided in his counsellor Ravi Mazumdar that lately he just couldn’t get himself to focus on his work. Abhishek loved to work; he was the driven type who regularly went beyond the call of his duty. Over the years, he had become known for his work ethic: the guy who never complained about excess work. Not surprisingly he had risen up the ranks quite early in his career.

How could someone like Abhishek suddenly lose all interest in his job? At first Ravi thought it was a case of exhaustion. After all, that is what his symptoms—lethargy, lack of focus and a general disinterest at work—pointed to. But digging deeper he discovered that the cause of Abhishek’s increasing sense of dissatisfaction was not excessive stress but the lack of it. The work that once challenged him now made him weary. He no longer derived any sense of satisfaction from his job, so much so that he had started thinking of retirement although he was only 44. Abhishek was suffering from a different kind of burnout, a phenomenon that results from boredom and lack of eustress or beneficial stress.

We tend to associate the term “burnout” with too much work-related stress. But this is a limited view of a much broader phenomenon. In this issue’s cover story, Dr Steven Berglas tells us the other side of the burnout story—when lack of enough stress and paucity of challenges leads to extended boredom which, in turn, causes burnout. According to him, no matter how good you are at your job and how much you enjoy doing something, after a while you will get bored of doing the same thing over and over again.

Giving examples of athletes who compete against top competitors, salespeople who exceed quotas, and managers who beat deadlines, he says, “Humans are innately challenge-hungry organisms who are rewarded [at a neurological level] by doing something ‘better’ every day… however, should an Olympic-calibre athlete compete against a high school student in his preferred sport, or a salesman reach his annual quota in a few months simply by filing orders from repeat customers, neither individual will derive eustress.”

One could say that true happiness and bliss result from good stress, which absorbs our attention thoroughly and makes us feel worthy. On the other hand, not being challenged enough is bound to make you feel disengaged, causing boredom which ultimately leads to burnout. He calls such burnout Supernova Burnout.

While explaining the concept of Supernova Burnout in detail, Dr Berglas offers a few unique techniques to address it, should you face such a problem in your life. Use these techniques to keep boredom in check while finding new ways to keep your work stimulating and challenging. Because, monotony isn’t good for your wellbeing.

The post February 2016 issue: Preventing burnouts appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

But admit it, not every day is like being in a place just vacated a day earlier by Adam and his consort, is it? There are days when you want to look around to ensure no one is watching, take your hair in your hands and scream, “Urrrgh!”

Hate it or love it, the fact remains that stress is a part of being in any workplace. And unless you learn to deal with the things that cause you stress, they just might grow insidiously and wrap their tentacles around you till you feel cornered, squeezed and completely taken over. The tricks to coping with stress are simple.

But for a start, you need to locate the stress point. What is it that triggers off the tension in your shoulders? Or kickstarts that terrible migrane-like headache? The signs of stress often come disguised as simple but nagging pains. The first step is to know which of these seemingly mundane events could be your stressors. Find the trigger—is it a meeting with your boss? A colleague who tends to rub you the wrong way? Or a presentation or team huddle that is regularly held, but usually ends up unfruitful? Once you know the problem, it is easier to solve.

Here are a few common scenarios that are known to trigger stress levels, and ways to cope with them.

1. The Chatterbox

You have a neighbour who constantly chats with you. It breaks your concentration. Sometimes you get drawn into her rant; other times, you wonder how you can shut her out without being rude. Interruptions by a chronic chatterer can have you fall back on your deadlines, and that can stress you out. Being courteous to such people can be quite a mindbender too. It is best you break the vicious cycle. The easiest way is to request a change of seat and you can cite any other reason so as to not offend the chatterbox. Wearing ear plugs is another option. Even if you are not plugged in to your Dictaphone, computer or music player, it will deter conversation by implying you are listening to something else.

2. The Borrower

She loves taking a pencil, a pen, paper clips, the scissors, sometimes even your laptop! It is as annoying as your neighbour back home who keeps asking for an egg, a cup of sugar, a spoonful of salt. The borrower is always misplacing her own things and scrounging off others. If in your misplaced kindness you have let her help herself to your things early on in your unsuspecting relationship, chances are you have become her lucky dip. Because now, she will dip into your belongings whenever she wants! Sometimes even without your permission. Annoying? For sure! Stressful? Need not be…

Cope with her firmly. Tell her, her borrowing disturbs your momentum. Or just lock your things away. If she comes around asking, use those ear phones. They can help here too.

3. The senior who grabs your due

They lurk everywhere. Plaudit-starved execs who are in the position to make you do the dirty work and then grab the idea and the credit for it. Nothing builds as much stress as seeing your hard work or suggestions being attributed by the organisation to someone else. Especially if it gets him brownie points as well as the promotions you know are your due.

There are a few ways to cope with this. You could ask for a transfer, except that the grass may be browner on the other side. A more effective ploy is to hold a good idea quiet and speak up at a meeting where your boss is also present. However, some acting skill is required to make it seem like a sudden brainwave. Alternate this with placing a strategy or proposal when the project is at its nascent stage, preferably during a meeting so it is clear that you initiated it.

Your senior can take the credit for fleshing it out… and you will remain stress-free.

4. The timekeeper neighbour

You are 15 minutes late and he is staring at you with a look that bodes no good. Unlike you, who has to cope with trains, traffic and absentee maids, he sleeps under his office desk… how else can he be there on time every single day? It does not help that you explain that you leave no work pending for the morrow, his obsession with the clock is… well, obsessive. And the worst part is you know he is going to sneak on you to the boss.

One way to beat him at his game is to turn clock-watcher yourself. Make the super effort. Be there ahead of him every day for 10 days. That will take the wind out of his sails and perhaps he will find someone else to spy on. For longer term de-stressing, check with the boss about your infrequent late comings, and if he is not a clock-watching freak too, you should be fine!

5. The boss from Hell

This one is the toughest to deal with. There are bosses and bad bosses, but if you are stuck with a raging, foul-mouthed monster, then your stress is not going anywhere. The best way out is to avoid direct contact, keep out of his way, and not let him bully you into feeling as bad as he says you are. Of course, it goes without saying that you must leave no opening for him to take a swipe at you.

HR experts say there are many kinds of bullying bosses. Some shout, others insult, and yet another lot manipulates or preys on your emotions. It might help to realise and understand which tactic your boss from Hell uses, and get a handle on how to tackle him.

The last resort

If you happen to encounter a stressor that refuses to go away, perhaps it is best that you do. No boss and no job are worth tainting your good health and peace of mind!

This was first published in the January 2015 issue of Complete Wellbeing.

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Those who don’t know better, say, “So leave.” Right! If only you could. But good jobs are scarce these days, job security is a joke, outsourcing is increasingly common and good pay hard to come by. And too often, even if you do find another job with decent pay, you’ve simply traded one variety of Bad Boss for another.

It’s time to turn the tables on a Bad Boss so he or she begins to behave the way you want them to, so you get more of what you want out of your job and career. As an employee, vendor, supplier or salesperson—you can’t simply survive dealing with these people. You have to find a way to thrive, to be successful.

Work your bad boss

I don’t mean transform your Bad Boss into a better boss. I mean: put your Bad Boss into an effective operation to get you whatever it is that you want in your job or career. How? By learning your boss’s secret desire and secret fear.

Know your Bad Boss’s secret desire and secret fear

Every boss has a secret desire, something he or she really wants but won’t reveal, because underneath that secret desire is a secret fear or insecurity that he or she can’t admit or doesn’t even understand. Your boss’s blind spot is your opportunity. That’s working your Bad Boss.

A real life example

For me, understanding how to work a Bad Boss started when I was hired as an entry-level therapist at a prestigious psychology clinic. It was considered ‘prestigious” because the head therapist of the clinic had some celebrity clients and she was somewhat of a celebrity herself. Beautiful, charismatic, super-bright, great on TV and a tantrum-throwing egomaniac, in other words… she was a tyrant. When my boss was in the building, the tension level went up a 100 degrees. Everyone walked on tiptoes around her. She was all wit and good humour around her celebrity clients, but with us, the staff? Forget it. She never talked. She barked. And she was impossible to please. She demanded perfection and, of course, never got it.

Being entry level, I really didn’t have any interaction with her. She certainly wasn’t going to bother with the low fee, court-mandated patients I was assigned—or with me, which was fine. Her kind of grief I could do without.

But one day, I was coming down the hall and I heard this roar come out of my boss’s office: “Where’s Jean?!” my boss snapped. Everybody froze, looked at each other, in a panic. Jean was the assistant director and head whipping girl. She was the one who fixed everything for this tiny tyrant. Jean was out sick that day. “Get me Jean!!” my boss roared. She slammed the door so hard the walls shook. But nobody did anything. Nobody dared go into the inner sanctum when the tyrant was having a fit. Then I thought, “This is ridiculous. Someone’s gotta go see what she wants.” I walked past my co-workers, their eyes big as saucers, knocked once on her door and walked in.

There my boss stood, a mud-coloured tea-stain spreading down the front of her immaculate cream silk jacket. “Look at this!” she yells. “I’m supposed to be chairing a board meeting this afternoon. I can’t go like this, I don’t have the time to go home and change, and where the hell is Jean?!” I say, in my best calm-the-patient voice, “There’s a one-hour dry cleaner right by here, I’ll have your suit back in no time. Jean’s out sick. I’ll tell admin you’re on a conference call and not to bother you until I get back.” She narrows her eyes at me: “Who are you?” I reply, “I’m Dr. Nelson. I’m new.” She practically rips her jacket off, throws it at me and says, “What are you waiting for? Go!”

That was my first lesson in working an Egomaniacal Boss. At the time, I stumbled into the secret: make her look good. And now my research proves I was right. It doesn’t matter what an Egomaniacal Boss does, needs, or says, you only have to do one thing: make her look good. And so I did.

The next day, I came into work to find out I had been taken off court-mandated patient duty and given a pay raise! OK, it was a tiny raise, but still, it was a raise. From then on, my boss relied on me more and more for all sorts of things.

This simple technique allowed me to do something I hadn’t been doing until that time: manage my career. I went from earning a wage to a position of authority and power I didn’t even know I could aim for.

Discover your Bad Boss’s type

Finger Pointer Boss, for example, is one who manages by blaming, a hoary old method that has never worked, but is the only one he knows.

Egomaniacal Boss is a boss who relentlessly toots his own horn, behaves as if he is God’s gift to the department, the company, the world, and who leaves behind a chaotic trail of unfinished projects, misplaced ideas and impossible tasks for you to deal with. Screamer/Irrational Boss reacts to the least bit of upset in the workplace, in her personal world, or in how she feels that day, with a high-pitched screaming fit.

Unlock the secrets of Bad Boss behavior

Knowing your Bad Boss’s type leads to knowing his or her secret fears and desires, your boss becomes predictable to you when no one else can figure out what’s going on. When you understand why people behave the way they do, you are in a position to get what you want.

Let’s say you have a Finger Pointer Boss. You discover that your Finger Pointer Boss’s secret desire is to be a 100 per cent success. Your Finger Pointer Boss’s secret fear is that he’s terrified he doesn’t have the goods, that he can’t pull it off. The result? Whenever there’s trouble, a Finger Pointer Boss just lays it off on someone else. That’s why any time there’s a mess, the Finger Pointer Boss’s knee-jerk reaction is to look for who he can blame. Too often, that’s you.

Once you are able to help your Bad Boss achieve his or her secret desire, you become important to your boss, and now you have power—not power to lord over your boss [that’s emotional blackmail!].

It’s all about the relationship

As a clinical psychologist and trial consultant, I know how critical a good relationship in the workplace is to your success. I’ve seen firsthand how people unknowingly, tragically, let Bad Bosses ruin their careers because they just didn’t know how to work that boss-employee relationship. I’ve helped client after client turn a lousy relationship with a Bad Boss into a success story. Your Bad Boss isn’t going to wake up one day, smell the coffee and suddenly transform into the boss of your dreams. It’s up to you to transform your relationship with your boss.

Does it take effort? Sure! The good news is, you absolutely can work your Bad Boss to get what you want at work!

Adapted from Got A Bad Boss By Noelle Nelson

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