Why doesn’t this smooth distribution of household responsibilities happen in real life? Well, sometimes it does. At other times, it needs to be done. Distributed duties lead to lesser friction, though the distribution may not always be fair.

In generations gone by, the idea of sharing household chores was not that popular. The roles were defined rather clearly and everyone was expected to play their part. Women folk stayed home and cooked whatever the men brought in, and cared for babies. They didn’t have to go to the bank, do the shopping, file tax returns, or attend PTA [Parent Teacher Association] meetings. The children, too, were expected to play, and maybe learn till they could fend for themselves and help with the earning. Today, there’s no harm if they can lay the table, clear it, help with folding the bed sheets, pack their bags, take out the garbage, or read the paper to a grandparent.

Sharing household chores has now become an important way to keep the family bonded and happy. The benefits are obvious. There is greater efficiency and happiness in a home where family members share household responsibilities equally. Moreover, every religion, philosophy and civilisation has stressed on the value of being self-dependent.

Let us see how we can begin creating a culture of sharing household chores.

Creating a Culture of Sharing Household Chores

How to list and distribute tasks

It starts at the very beginning. If you’ve been doing the household chores for the rest of the clan, they’ve got used to it already. Change is tough, but possible. Make a beginning: list out every tiny job that has to be done in the house, from the time you wake up, till you fluff out the pillow to rest your head upon. Ensure that all tasks get done.

It is important that the basin gets scrubbed, the furniture gets dusted properly, the curios get arranged in proper sequence, the stationery gets sorted out, shoes are polished, office clothes are ironed, and the like.

Also take into account work like cleaning combs, checking for cockroaches in the crevices so you can call the pest control service. The kitchen-work, naturally, comprises the maximum number of chores: chopping, shredding, grinding, shopping, putting away things, getting them out, figuring out what to cook, making a note of what’s getting over [this could move into the weekly or monthly list rather than on the daily to-do].

It is important to carry out the listing exercise methodically. Every detail should be mentioned like cleaning the windows and cupboards, sweeping under-the-sofa and behind-the-fridge. Actually, you can write an entire chapter on cleaning.

Figure out who is good at what and distribute tasks accordingly. The computer savvy person answers emails, the maths whiz does the income tax returns, the chatty one answers the phone calls, and the picky one does the fresh-food shopping.

How to allocate time for household chores

When all members are adults, and possibly attending office, they wouldn’t necessarily have the same timings. Hence, the tasks could be allocated time-wise. So whoever enters the house first in the evening starts the work—putting the rice on the cooker perhaps, roasting the papads, slicing the cucumber or loading the washing machine. The next person would automatically put the clothes on the line, season the dal and so on.

It’s reverse gear in the mornings; whoever leaves late must ensure the gas is off, the windows are shut and locked, the tap is closed, the watchman has been told to receive that important courier packet.

External tasks may or may not be rotated, depending on convenience. Shopping, paying bills, visiting the tailor, and the like can be planned in advance. For smooth running of tight schedules, the mobile phone can be a boon. Coordination is no big deal in this world of instant communication.

Defining hierarchy

Even in a small family of three or four, it helps to have a hierarchy. There must be a leader or manager who makes the list and allocates the tasks.

It is vital that the leader not lose his/her temper and be prepared to handle occasional slackness, forgetfulness, cheating and sloth. They should be able to overcome irritation, for it doesn’t help to have tension over who didn’t wipe the spoons, who left the towel on the bed, or who didn’t switch off the geyser. The trick is to remind gently, firmly, regularly, and continually. Sharing chores is a matter of habit and discipline; the habit will eventually form, if the discipline is maintained. Giving up in a fit of annoyance might be disastrous to the whole sharing business.

Of course, if you ever feel you’re doing it all and the others are having it easy, speak up, step in and make that difference.

Beyond household responsibilities

Sharing involves more than just housework. What about other responsibilities like looking after ailing relatives? Or paying the fees of a poor cousin to help tide over a bad phase? What about baby sitting an ill neighbour’s child? Who will share these chores? Once you have a fairly organised internal set up, it’s easier to extend that experience to outsiders.

Okay, relatives and childhood mates may not be considered outsiders, but they are beyond our brief nuclear families. So let’s forget outsiders for a moment. During an emergency at home, like an illness or a sudden call from work, there is nothing like a well-trained family with well-oiled machinery in place as a comfort zone. No one’s left stranded. Everybody knows where the extra money is kept. Everybody knows how to boil instant noodles and a cup of soup. There’s no panic, and life doesn’t stall. The load is evenly carried. That’s the beauty of a family that shares chores at home.

Benefits of Sharing Household Chores

There are many benefits of sharing domestic chores. Here are three important ones:

1. There is greater appreciation of family values, which strengthen the bond between members and fosters mutual respect for each other
2. The family as a whole is better equipped to deal with eventualities, should they arise
3. Most importantly, sharing responsibilities fills up the home with a different quality of happiness—one that comes from a deeper place of each family member.

Finally, caring really is about sharing everything.

The post The Best Way of Sharing Household Chores appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Kenichi Ohmae, voted by The Economist as one of the world’s top five management gurus, once wrote a tribute to the legendary Sony co-founder Akio Morita in Time magazine. While describing Morita’s exemplary energy, he wrote: “The best way to describe Morita’s extraordinary drive is to scan his schedule for the two-month period immediately preceding his stroke. He took trips from his home base in Tokyo to New Jersey, Washington, Chicago, San Francisco, Los Angeles, San Antonio, Dallas, Britain, Barcelona and Paris. During that time he met with Queen Elizabeth II, General Electric chief Jack Welch, future French President Jacques Chirac, Isaac Stern and many other politicians, bureaucrats and business associates. He attended two concerts and a movie; took four trips within Japan; appeared at eight receptions; played nine rounds of golf; was guest of honour at a wedding ceremony; and went to work as usual for 17 days at Sony headquarters. Morita’s schedule had been decided on more than a year in advance.”

Morita lived a rich life—and I don’t mean that financially. The man, who led Sony to become one of the world’s biggest and most recognised brands, managed to find time for everything—work, play, family and friends.

In contrast, most of us keep struggling to cope with the ever-increasing demands on our time and, as a result, remain in a perpetual state of overwhelm. The tasks on our to-do list never seem to get exhausted and, in the end, we compromise on what we really value. But Morita was not blessed with extra time. Like all of us, he had the same 24 hours each day, and 365 days in a year, within which he had to accomplish all his goals. He was not superhuman either. So what was the secret of Morita’s inexhaustible energy? This month’s cover story points to the answer.

“A disorganised mind creates a disorganised life,” writes best-selling author and psychotherapist Jackie Woodside in the cover story. According to Jackie, to master life, you need to understand and manage your consciousness rather than your time or stress. “Most likely, your mind is a little too much like your cluttered storeroom. It is too full of things that are probably useful and important, but you cannot really gain access to them because they are cluttered and disorganised,” she writes as she outlines a three-step exercise to help you organise your mind and your energy.

So don’t waste any more time; just read the full story here and learn how to stop being needlessly busy and start being meaningfully productive for life.

The post August 2015 issue: Busy bee no more appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.