Having said that, you need to take care of a few things to ensure everyone enjoys this adventure.

Health

Do visit the doctor and get a health check up done for your parents, preferably before making any bookings. Also ensure that you carry a health certificate from the doctor [especially when flying and travelling abroad].

Medicines

Carry the prescribed medicines and prescriptions for the duration of the trip. Carrying their medical files may be helpful if it is a long holiday. If travelling abroad, keep in mind the time difference as this will impact the schedule of medications. Confer with your doctor on how this needs to be dealt with.

Insurance

Insurance has become an important part of the everyday, especially if one works in the private sector. Buying travel insurance is vital to meet any exigencies when travelling abroad . Even within India it becomes important when vacationing with the elderly. Air ambulances do not come cheap. There is the added benefit of being treated by doctors who know the patients medical history.

Booking a hotel

When booking a hotel one usually checks for deals, location, free buffets etc. However, when travelling with elderly parents there are other issues that need to be kept in mind:

• Presence of a bathtub in the bathroom. A bathtub can be a physical hazard for the elderly because they may not only find it difficult to raise their leg to enter and get out of the tub but also could lose their balance in the process.
• Provision of bathroom stools for your parents to sit and bathe.
• Distance of your room from the restaurant.
• Dietary requirements. Eg: In Asia, most often vegetarian food is cooked with fish sauce.
• Provision for a bidet-spray in the toilet. [Some hotels and cruise liners only provide toilet paper]

Booking tours within the city

Do ascertain the quantum of walking that is required when booking a city tour. Tour operators may be able to make provision for wheelchairs if they are informed in advance. Also clarify if a wheel chair attendant will be provided. It would be best if parents carry their own bags that have snacks, water, medicines.

Air tickets

There are many boxes to tick when buying air tickets:

• Ensure that you inform the airlines that you are travelling with senior citizens {and whether you require wheelchairs}. Keep in mind, some airlines offer a senior citizen discount.
• As some airlines use the same wheel chair for different flights ensure that the wheel chair is with you from check-in to boarding so that your parents can be ferried to the toilet when required.
• Ensure they wear comfortable clothes and shoes for the flight.
• For long haul flights ensure they walk and stretch on the flight to avoid cramps or DVT [deep vein thrombosis].

Dietary habits

Travelling is an opportunity to experience new cultures through food. If there are dietary restrictions then do get the hotel reception to write, in the local language, the dietary restrictions.

Maintaining a schedule

Keeping to a schedule ensures nobody gets tired, medicines are had on time and everyone is prepared. This also preps your parents for the day, as surprises can be disconcerting for the elderly. The schedule should cater to time requirements of your parents. Things that should be kept in mind include sleep patterns and morning routines. Rushing unnecessarily increases everyone’s stress levels and compromises the potential for fun.

Keeping your parents informed

Discuss the trip with your parents and get their inputs. Part of maintaining a schedule is keeping your parents informed. This gives them a sense of control and also ensures that they can suggest changes if required. To help in this communication process you need to:

• Create an excel sheet with activities/flight times and other information which everyone should have
• Go through the excel sheet with them
• Parents should carry a tote bag with their documents, medicines, snacks and water during travel. You could keep a master copy with yourself.

Money

Though as a responsible individual you may wish to spend on your parents, it’s important that they carry their own money too. Parents may not like to ask their children for money and a lack of access to money could dilute their fun. Needless to say, this is an unnecessary form of dependence and should be avoided.

Rest

Flights can be fatiguing, not only because of their duration but also because of the travel and processes before and after the flight. Therefore it is advisable to slot in a day on arrival to recuperate before beginning sightseeing. A day of rest before the flight back home should also be slotted in for the same reason.

Misplacing items

Elderly tend to forget things and this is one of the reasons for things getting misplaced. The stress of the journey can also cause your parents to ‘misplace’ things. Searching for such things add to the stress as it reminds them of their frailty, they feel apologetic for wasting time and adding to your ‘things to do’. The way out is to (1) Keep calm (2) Keep a master copy (3) Keep things in perspective so that these moments are not dwelled on and therefore spoil the holiday.

Me time

Make sure that your parents don’t feel that they are coming in the way of you enjoying yourself on the trip. There is no doubt that you will relish the company of your parents, but you also need to do things that are suitable for your age and interest. Therefore keep some time for yourself. Such occasions can also be an opportunity for your parents to do things on their own or rest.

Decision making

As your parents grow old, they turn to you to help them make decisions. In your holiday there will be many occasions when you will be asked to make decisions, infact you may be making all the decisions. You could be called upon to recollect whether they have had their medications besides being asked to make a decision on what to order. Realise that roles have changed and therefore there you will have to be patient with them. Instead of making decisions suggest options and be supportive. It will reduce pressure on you while increasing opportunities of adventure.

Travelling with your parents takes adventure to a whole new level because now your role is that of an adult who needs to cater to the people who took care of you. These are moments to see new places and surprise each other with personal facets that do not emerge in the everyday. By taking care of these basic things you open the door to experiences to build on memories and foster your relationship with your folks.

The post A complete guide to planning a vacation with senior parents appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

About the Bach flower remedies

The Bach flower remedies are ‘energy medicines’ which are used worldwide as an aid to balancing emotions and personality. A survey revealed that over 80 per cent users reported to find this therapy helpful. Though the remedies do not aim to directly cure medical conditions, they help to better the symptoms—physical and mental.

They were discovered in the 1920s and 1930s by a British doctor, Edward Bach, a pioneer of mind-body medicine and the holistic approach to healing. He  quit his orthodox practice,  as he wanted to find a natural and toxin-free system of mitigating symptoms and also attack the root cause of the disease. He believed that certain wild flowers carried vibrations corresponding to different psychological states, and could stimulate feelings of hope, courage, tolerance etc.

The concoctions are prepared by either laying petals soaked in spring water in the sun or by boiling. Later, brandy is added to the fluid which is then diluted to make the alcohol content minimal. The final liquid is stored in ‘stock bottles’ which are later sold at pharmacies and online. People, who are averse to alcohol for personal reasons, can avail of preparations that use glycerin instead.

The remedy is customised to suit the emotional temperament of the individual. They are supposed to be taken orally in a dosage of 4 drops 4 times daily. The stock bottles need to be kept in a cool and dry place and should be used in less than three weeks.

One can have this flower solution along with almost any other medication. The effect of the remedies depends upon the severity of the problem; more serious the illness, longer it takes for the remedies to work. Although they have no toxic side-effects, they do sometimes give rise to ‘healing reactions.’ The best explanation for these reactions is that they are the repressed negative emotions surfacing before being replaced by positive ones. This shows that the medication is working, however if they prolong and hurt, one can stop the dosage till the reactions subside.

Any of the 38 remedies might be suitable for an older person but here are some examples of those commonly used.

Anxiety, worry and fear

In old age people tend to be more worried about their own wellbeing as well as of those around them. They are constantly watching out for bad things that might affect them leading to sleepless nights and loss of health. Mimulus is the remedy for ‘fear of known things’, in other words for anxieties related to understandable causes such as worrying about the wellbeing of a loved one, anticipatory anxiety about a surgery, or not having enough money to pay the bills. In contrast, Aspen is more suitable when fear and apprehension arise for no obvious reason. Sometimes anxiety is being felt on behalf of another person, perhaps a close relative who is sick or in trouble, and in this case Red Chestnut is indicated. Many anxious people experience repetitive worrying thoughts, often keeping them awake at night, and White Chestnut is the remedy for this. When there is extreme anxiety or panic, consider Cherry Plum for the fear of losing control and doing something bizarre, or Rock Rose for terror and nightmares.

Depression, sadness and despair

The hormonal changes that happen in old age can cause emotions to go haywire. This often leads to a gloomy state of mind that can interfere with daily functioning. Gentian benefits those who have been discouraged and disheartened by a setback in life. If there is a longstanding problem such as a chronic illness, and the person has no hope for a better life, Gorse would be useful. For people suffering from despondency and misery, Sweet Chestnut is recommended. And for depression that arises with no cause, like a black cloud, Mustard is suggested. These deep depressive states carry serious risks, including suicide, so patients should seek professional mental health care rather than relying on Bach flower remedies alone.

Adjustment to change and loss

Old people are known to be fixed in their ways of living. So they are not very welcoming about any changes—however big or small they may be. Most of the life changes that old people experience are negative ones, not of their own choosing. The combination Rescue Remedy is suitable for short–term use during any kind of crisis. Walnut is helpful when adjusting to new circumstances, such as having to move into a new accommodation. Losses, such as death of the partner or being diagnosed with a serious illness, are common and Star of Bethlehem is the remedy for shock, bad news and grief. Honeysuckle benefits those who are primarily lost in the past happenings, especially those who are nostalgic about the happier times.

Appropriate use of the Bach flower remedies can promote the positive aspects of old age. More information about them, and about Dr Bach’s own writings, can be found on the Bach Centre website www.bachcentre.com

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Once upon a time in my childhood

If I were to describe my life in a single word, I’d choose the word story. My paternal grandma deserves the rich honour of opening the doors to the realm of imagination and creativity. As I think back to memories of childhood, she is the one who steals the spotlight. I sat besides her on sweltering summer afternoons, feeling the soft wrinkled folds of skin on her arm as I traveled to Lanka and Mithila, Dwaraka and Hastinapura. I flew the blue skies with Hanuman as he brought home the life-restoring herb from Sanjivini to revive a wounded Lakshmana when he fought the demon king, Ravana. I tasted every fruit that Shabari lovingly plucked and bit into in keen anticipation of Lord Rama’s visit.

It was Grandma who fostered in me a deep and abiding love of story—the art of storytelling, story writing and trading people’s stories with mine.

Story shapes our life.
Story gives meaning to our journey.
Story is the container for our destiny.

The wise old art of storytelling

To my pleasant surprise, it was storytelling that saved me as I applied for jobs in a new country, wondering if I’d have to settle for a humdrum desk job doing something just for a paycheck. A part-time position in a senior living community allowed me the bandwidth to create a space for seniors to share their life stories. For sixty minutes every week, a group of octogenarians and nonagenarians take centre stage in my group. As they tell stories of lives lived a long time ago, their faces light up and their eyes shine.

We live in a world where the elderly feel invisible a lot of the time. In our talk-text-and-message world of quick communication, their rambling narratives and measured pace, minuscule attention spans and confused memories have no place.

They find in this space a firm footing, as stories stored in long-term memories unfold, one sentence, one situation, one scene at a time. Stories of growing up dirt-poor during the Depression era; of crouching with pounding hearts in makeshift bomb shelters; of sending their men to war and committing to the war effort themselves; of evenings spent listening to the radio; of after-dinner dessert being nothing more ambitious than a dish of berries or peaches; of their moms labouring to get the perfect Shirley Temple curls, the rage of the time.

These are stories that remain evergreen in their minds—even as they struggle to remember whether they took their post-lunch pill or transferred the wet wash to the dryer.

Something delightful happens in the room when someone forgets a minor detail of the past. When Janice has trouble recalling the brand of butter that most families used back in the day, Virginia helps her out. That starts a discussion on butter churns, which leads to how they washed clothes using an old-fashioned wringer and the smell of sunshine on sheets. Each one helps connect the dots and feel connected to a world they all inhabited, which helps them connect to each other. These connections travel well beyond story time in the group.

For someone like me, a stranger to their culture and their world, it has been like living and breathing history. Now I know concentration camp and World war survivors; I know men who fought in these wars; I know women who raised police officers and fire-fighters. As 12 to 15 people become inspiring, heroic characters in their retellings, I watch history come alive.

It is a rich emotional experience, this sharing of stories. As they tell me tales of jukeboxes and ice cream fountains, I share stories of growing up in India, of customs and rituals that shaped my life, of rural and urban life that harmonise the reality of the haves and have-nots.

How sharing tales help?

This time of shared life stories has multiple benefits that go far beyond the pleasure of community and connection.

Transmit life lessons to the younger generations

80 plus years of living brings with it rich life lessons. Although the world of these seniors was significantly different from the one we inhabit, the themes and threads that run through life are always the same: the desire for happiness, a meaningful vocation, more connected relationships and less stress. Having travelled the path, elders have much wisdom to share on how to navigate life’s rocky terrain.

Mental health benefits

Storytelling is known to improve memory function in seniors. Recall, narration and connecting the dots strengthen areas of the brain which may otherwise atrophy. Added to this is the benefit of emotional nurturing as seniors feel a sense of belonging, coming from a world of challenges and pleasures they all shared.

Social and emotional connections

When seniors move into the community, they often feel displaced from homes and neighbourhoods they have known and loved. My group is a safe way for them to ease the loneliness of the transition as they find and form new friendships with others who are in similar shoes.

Connection to a common world

At a time when they can barely remember where they placed their walker or how to get to a certain room to attend a programme, sharing stories of a world they remember helps them feel rooted. It was a time when they had real roles in life as mothers, wives, teachers and nurses and it strengthens them to be reminded of a purposeful existence.

The opportunity for a life review

In reviewing their lives from today’s perspective, many have had the opportunity to understand mistakes made and choices that led them down roads they may not have chosen to travel. It is a fresh opportunity to revisit some unpleasant stories and give them pleasant endings. Beginnings and endings define the chapter of life. As we sit around a table and tell stories, we have the opportunity to create new beginnings and better endings.

Growing old can be awfully lonely. Storytelling helps seniors know that their life matters and gives you time to spend with your loved ones. These last days will not come again. So by reliving old tales and memories, you can make sure that the seniors don’t waste them by worrying.

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