Marriage, like any other kind of relationship, is a beautiful thing that lasts if nurtured. It occupies a significant space for some people’s list of priorities—to finish school, pursue a dream job, get married, and grow one’s own family. While everyone dreams about being in a happy marriage, no one really knows what it entails until they’re officially married.
To start, marriage is about binding a man and a woman in love and faith. In every marriage, the husband and wife create promises for each other. They enter into a commitment of everlasting love sealed and strengthened by their faith.
There are two purposes of marriage. Its first purpose is to grow and foster mutual love between the spouses, or otherwise known as unitive purpose. The second one is to reproduce and grow their own family, also known as the procreative purpose. To be able to observe the two purposes of marriage, the union must consist of three essential factors: exclusivity, permanency, and most importantly, faithfulness.
The Truth About Marriage
Culture suggests that marriage is the ‘next step’ for any romantic relationship filled with strong physical attraction, funny and sweet conversations, and respect for each other’s beliefs and principles. However, settling into marriage for these reasons is not enough to keep a marriage for life. The truth is, marriage is not always fun and will never be easy.
Many young couples assume that a flawless, well-organized, beautiful wedding is the best way to secure a happy and lifelong marriage. Some couples often design these movie-inspired weddings to showcase their happily ever after, when the truth is, the real deal starts after the wedding ceremony. While movies typically place weddings as the final event—in reality, it’s just the beginning.
Marriage is about opening a new chapter for you and your partner and living life together as one. It’s not only about perfecting wedding details such as the wedding dress, themes, venue, and reception. Entering into a marital union presupposes making a lifetime commitment to be with each other through highs and lows for the rest of their lives.
Reality Sets In
Unfortunately, some couples tend to forget the most important part when they decide to get married. They tend to forget that marriage is a lifetime commitment that must be taken seriously and wholeheartedly. This is why some marriages easily fall apart during their early years. Some marriages also lose their meaning after being together for so many years.
Months or years after your wedding, reality will start to take a toll on your married life. There may be days when you find yourself in disagreements and fights. These things are completely normal because they can keep your marriage strong. Sadly, some marriages crumble due to numerous unresolved issues. The thing is, problems are hard to resolve when the husband and wife lack meaningful communication.
The only way to ensure both of them understand each other consistently is to have open and active communication. Communication will help you recognize each other’s needs and wants. The more transparent and open couples are to each other, the easier it is for them to resolve conflicts and keep their marriage healthy. You can seek counseling services such as High Country Behavioral Health if you and your partner are having difficulties maintaining healthy communication and talking about your disputes.
Communication should never be overlooked because honest and straightforward conversations keep the foundation of your marriage strong and unfailing.
Communication Is Key
Couples with healthy marriages communicate as much as they can. They openly discuss anything about their family, kids, utility bills, and even their grocery needs. But communication doesn’t stop there—they also speak up about their problems, anxieties, fears, and hopes.
Communication plays a crucial role in keeping a marriage well-balanced and strong. Other than that, here are a few more reasons why communication is key to any marriage.
It Keeps You Closer Everyday
How do you get to know your spouse more every day? The only way is through communication. Although you’ve been married for 20 years or more, there may still be a lot left to know about your husband or wife. Even the simple act of asking your spouse daily about how their day went can help you learn more about their mind and personality. The more you know each other, the more intimate your relationship will grow each day.
Physical contact is not enough in marriage. The emotional connection must be present as well. Sharing even the smallest details will foster your marriage’s closeness and make you feel stronger as a union. When you know what’s going on with your husband or wife’s life, heart and mind, you can resolve issues more effectively in case of misunderstandings.
It Helps Avoid Misunderstandings
No one was born in this world with the gift of reading other people’s minds—this goes especially the same with married couples. You won’t ever acquire the power to read your spouse’s mind or even have premonitions about what they’re about to say or do. Thus, communication is essential to help both parties resolve the negative feelings and emotions they’ve inflicted upon each other.
When your spouse avoids sharing certain issues or information with you, your mind’s natural reaction would be to assume, think of the worst, or misunderstand their actions. The more this persists in your marriage, the more often you’ll be faced with insecurity, disappointments, and doubts that will ultimately lead to fights and arguments.
Hence, the key to having a peaceful marriage and avoiding any false assumptions and misunderstanding is through communication. If you think your spouse is hiding something from you, avoid assuming and talk to them instead.
If they’re hesitant to open up to you, you can open up first and they’ll follow. Once you’re familiar with each other’s beliefs, opinions, desires, and individual problems, it will be likewise easier for the both of you to see the marriage through. Speak your mind and your good intentions clearly. This will surely increase your trust and commitment to each other, leading to marriage satisfaction.
It Prevents Emotional Disconnection
As mentioned before, keeping things from each other will not only lead to wrong assumptions, but also cause emotional disconnection. When you’re emotionally disconnected, you’ll tend to avoid major conversations and prefer to be left alone than spend time together.
These factors are among the major factors that cause a marriage to fall apart and separate the couple. While this may not be the case for all marriages, emotional disconnection can sometimes cause your spouse to look for that lost meaningful connection from someone else.
Even if your partner tries to avoid taking that path, when their emotional needs are not fulfilled in your marriage, they may try to look for other people to satiate and fill the empty space. This, in turn, will lead to lies and infidelity. Effective communication can help prevent this serious form of deception from happening.
It Breeds Respect
There may be times when you don’t feel like opening something up with your spouse—you’ll tend to make up stories or white lies to quickly end the conversation. While this may work the first few times, but later on, you will be accustomed to get out of various situations by telling even more lies. If you’ve got nothing to hide from your husband or wife, then there’s no need for you to tell them lies that could only ruin your chances of having a bright future with them.
White lies may seem small and innocent at first, but this act only shows that you don’t trust your spouse enough to tell them the truth. Marriage is about open communication and telling each other everything so you can both handle the situation well and move on.
It Gives Assurance
The satisfaction you get from your marriage also relates to the assurance you provide to one another. Assurance is what reaffirms your spouse’s romantic desires for you, and vice versa. This doesn’t have to be in the form of sweet romantic words and big acts of love. Even a simple yet consistent open communication between a married couple is enough to reassure one another. Having open communication can assure that love and trust are still present in the relationship—thus, increasing marital satisfaction and commitment.
Couples who have poor communication tend to be distant from each other. This can lead to marital dissatisfaction, diffidence towards one another, and lack of assurance. If this unhealthy cycle is not corrected, your marriage will be at risk of falling apart.
It’s essential to remember that marriage is not just about oneself. You’re in union with another person; thus, you’re bound to share the rest of your life with them. Marriage is a lifetime of commitment that requires almost every bit of yourself. The sacrifices will all be worth it if both of you are working on your marriage to make it last.
Remember that nothing beautiful comes easy, and that includes marriage. To have a healthy and happy marriage, you must know how to communicate honestly and effectively with your partner. Arguments and fights are inevitable, but they can never break down a strong relationship as long as you can keep your love alive through communication.