Our thoughts are magnetic

Energy equals motion, which creates emotion. Emotion follows intention and intention is directed by our focus. Think of yourself as a powerful magnet. The thoughts that we have, reach out to bring us whatever we dwell on continuously. It doesn’t matter whether the thoughts are positive or negative.

If they are maintained, what we focus on will manifest. The stimulation of our thoughts offers us thoughts of a similar nature and attract other people who have the same thoughts. For example, a person who is very concerned about being robbed is sending out a thought and if it is given the power of emotion, will pull in someone who wants to rob someone. Both the individuals attract each other because their thoughts come together to co-create the same reality.

What you focus on, happens

As we focus on a subject, a feeling of invigoration brings about enthusiasm and energy. On the other hand, if we think, “But that is something I could never have,” we’ve just cancelled what we really want to create for ourselves.

Have you noticed that sick people are always talking about their sickness? Many know more about their disease than most doctors and may even be proud that it is such a rare disease! They discuss their problems with friends and neighbours and usually hang out with people who have the same interest.

Healthy people talk about health; vitamins and supplements they are taking and the exercises they are doing to keep themselves healthy.

Creating with purpose

If we do not intentionally create what we want, then we have to accept whatever is thrown at us whether we want it or not. Then we justify it by saying, “It’s my karma!” or “Life has always been against me”. The truth is that circumstances cannot be part of our experience unless we have invited them with our thoughts. Some of our fears come about because we picked them in some way from our parents, teachers or our culture.

We may ask, “If many of my circumstances are a co-creation, is controlling my thoughts the answer so I only create good things for myself?” It could well be, if we have that much will power. Though more than controlling our thoughts we will benefit from being aware of what feelings, intentions and actions we are putting into motion, because that is how we create our future.

What you think matters

The bottom line is, what we really, really want with intention coupled with emotion we will get. We will also get what we really don’t want with the same intention.

So we need to watch our thoughts, they respond to our demands and are continuously focused on giving us what we ask for. Magical? Yes, we create magic every time we think and feel!

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Where are you looking for happiness?

The pursuit of happiness is really the search for love, approval and appreciation from the outside. Deep down, most of us function from the belief that, “Unless people approve of me, I’m worthless”. Most of us grew up believing that the admiration and respect of others [society] will get us the happiness and success we want. We also believe that satisfaction will be attained by romance or marriage, wealth or fame. No wonder then that we all live in a fear of failing and thus the fear almost runs our lives.

As long as our safety depends on how others judge us, we’re doomed for a life of disappointment. One of my gurus said to me, “No appointments, no disappointments!” Think about it. Expectation and disappointments are two sides of the same coin.

A familiar fear we all experience is the feeling, “There’s something wrong with me, and I’m not OK. If I was OK, they would love me and think I’m important.” We hardly ever inquire within ourselves if this is really true, and we may spend our life living this lie.

Why does this feeling originate?

It all starts in our thinking process. Whenever our thoughts focus on what’s missing in our life, when we feed a feeling of ‘lack’, we germinate the seeds of discontent. Our mental chatter becomes, “If only I .. had a companion/ was rich/ was living in America and so on. I would be happy.”

The irony is that the more we concentrate on what’s missing the more we struggle to win love and appreciation from others and the more we move away from actually experiencing them. Like needy little children, we banish happiness every time we want to impress and win approval from them. Whenever we try to please or manipulate others, or try to influence their reactions, we are increasing fear in our life. No wonder then, that the result is pain. Control creates separation and separation is painful.

Want to know the secret?

The eternal paradox is that in order to feel loved and appreciated we first need to love ourselves. Until then, no act of God or mortal can make us feel valuable and appreciated. When we love and accept ourselves we can allow others to love us. Now how simple is that! As simple as you make it to be! Go on, be happy and spread the secret.

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Parental gyan

Most of us are familiar with these words of childhood gyan: “If you don’t eat your beans, you’ll never grow up.” “You’re going to get it when we get home.” “One day you’ll have kids and I hope they turn out just like you.” “There are millions of less fortunate kids in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.” “Keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry about.” “Why?Because I say so.”

Copy cat

We’re all at the mercy of our ignorance and prejudice and we help our children absorb these by just being around us. Kids watch, they listen and true or false, our ideas become their ideas and slowly but surely they start mirroring us. How many parents can avoid this?

We set the standard in our homes and schools by being examples for our kids. Whatever the child hears in his/her growing up years becomes the basis of their image of themselves. For example, we all teach our kids to tell the truth, but when the phone rings and we don’t wish to answer the call, we ask them to say we’re not at home. We also learn our primary life lessons from our teachers by emulating their mannerisms and behaviours. Teachers are like God when we are little. Their word is law and whatever they say gets imprinted for life in our innocent brains. If a teacher pronounces us stupid, and they should know right from wrong, we believe her and from then on it’s no surprise that we do stupid things. Subconsciously, to do smart things would be wrong.

A school for parents

Every child pictures her home and her school through her beliefs and life choices. Our children and the family as a whole, reflect our personal lives. Unconsciously we stamp in our hopes and passions, ambitions and regrets, fears and limitations in the name of ‘love’.

No matter what psychology has to say, the irony is that none of us went to a ‘parenting school’. We just gave birth as an ‘act of God’. No one ever told us how to handle feeling hopeless and overwhelmed in this job. No one said that feeling a lack of control or feeling choiceless was part of it. And we have to handle all this while having to maintain our authority.

What should parents do to hide their own weaknesses and failures in front of their kids? No one taught us that. We fumbled along and did the best we knew, did it our way, usually the way we learned from our parents.

The truth is each one of us carries our childhood with us, no matter how old we are. We’re all little kids inside of us and we also feel joy, enthusiasm and pride. But beyond a certain level we’re expected not to show and express it. We also feel anger, guilt and fear, but can’t express it or think we shouldn’t. We think that it would be childish to do so and is not what grown-ups do.

Child, the father of man

What if someone had told us that it is our kids who are here to teach us? We learn the most from parenthood and the primary lesson is one of acceptance and appreciation; for them, for ourselves and the process of life which made this happen. An acceptance that says, “You are loved and valued just the way you are”. An affirmation that must begin with us and then reflect on the child we are attempting to nurture.

We need to accept our imperfections first, forgive ourselves, and then begin the joyous task of parenting. By looking within ourselves with compassion, understanding the little person inside us, we can help our kids do the same. We, as parents, need to ask ourselves, “How would I like to be spoken to?” Realising that we are the images that our children fashion their futures from, would help us become more aware of our reactions and thus make better choices in our own lives.

In my opinion, the big lesson for us all as parents is the acceptance that there is little we can really alter in our children’s lives. However, how we act affects their learning far more than the lessons we try to stamp in. So it is important to remember that we do have the power to choose how we respond and communicate with them. We can choose our words and our attitudes and hence what we say to a child may change his destiny.

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You are what you think

This idea is a major psychological breakthrough of the 20th century. How do I see myself? What kind of a person am I? What kind of a parent, partner or worker am I? Am I good at languages, math or music? Whatever we think of ourselves accurately predicts our behaviour. The way we see ourselves is the way we function. We pursue activities that we know we can accomplish and stay away from those that we feel we might fail at.

We see around us talented people in sports, arts or business who weren’t able to develop their talent because their sense of self, their self-image was the real obstacle.

Re-create yourself

We develop our belief-system in the first seven years of our life. How we react to the experiences of childhood create the software of our beliefs. Our conscious mind produces the pictures we see of the world. Whatever these pictures maybe—good, bad or scary—our subconscious treats them as the truth and without argument, ensures that our behaviour matches those images. This software is our subconscious and becomes the most powerful influencer in our lives. We become creatures of habit; thinking the same day-to-day, being the same every day, especially under stress. Stress takes us instantly back to childhood. This continues until we choose to make it different. And that’s all that’s necessary. That intention alone is the beginning of a new and conscious way of life.

Others see in us what we see in ourselves. As we change our perceptions of ourselves, we change the way the world appears to us. It is our self-image that determines how we interpret and respond to life.

Energy follows intention

My experience has taught me that if we wish to bring about a meaningful change, the transformation comes from within. Everything begins with our idea of who we think we are and what we think we’re capable of. A positive image of ourselves allows us to take positive steps without fear and hence, achieve positive results. In this way, our new ideas get transformed into reality and we begin to create the future we really want.

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Self-talk matters

The first step towards knowing how this works is to be aware of our thoughts and how we voice our feelings. Watch what you say to yourself repeatedly: “I have to do this, I don’t have a choice”, “I’m helpless to change this”, “I can’t digest this”, “This is such a pain in the neck”, “He burns me up”.

I met a woman who whose response to any advice was: “I can’t see myself doing that”, “I don’t see what you mean”, “I don’t even want to look at that”. She was completely unaware of what she was bringing into reality! So listen to your self-talk. You may be causing unconscious stress in your life by the words you use.

You = your words

The words we use help us define who we are. If we tell ourselves we’re clumsy, over and over, we reinforce the clumsy image, and guess what? We become clumsy.

Whatever we say to ourselves repeatedly gets imprinted in our internal computer and becomes our belief system. Beliefs promote feelings, which in turn start our unending self-talk. What we say to ourselves is how we expect to perform. How we perform directly affects what we believe about ourselves. And on and on goes the self-talk cycle.

Positivity is natural

Sometimes I wonder if it would have been easier if we were simply like machines. Then, we wouldn’t experience any pain, anger or disappointment and, of course, we wouldn’t have much scope to create negativity. Negative emotions are not what God intended for us; it’s not nature’s way.

Being and feeling positive is natural to the spirit. And to be negative, we have to shun our nature; we have to resist life itself. We all came into this world with enough creativity and light to dispel any darkness we encounter. Then why don’t we use this power? Perhaps we will when we understand the dramatic effect emotions of any kind have on our body.

Feelings affect health

With every negative thought we break down our body’s immunity. Doctors agree that angry people affect their own blood circulation, heart, glands and brain neurons, which in turn compromises their
defence against disease. In fact, every day people die from worry, fear, resentment or anger. People have died quicker from self-doubt and perceiving themselves as victims than they have from hard work.

The real purpose of pain is to warn us that it’s time to be aware of how we’re feeling and to remind us of our reactions to events. Pain, physical or emotional, tells us that we’re not functioning from a resourceful state. By compromising our immunity we cause simple ailments like the common cold to more serious ones like pneumonia and cancer. Our negative emotions, which are a direct result of the negative words we use, can kill us!

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