Here in Ontario, Canada, where I live, summer days are often hot and sunny. Playful, easy-going, joyful, friendly, full of energy and passion are ways to describe summer. It’s the time when the growth of plants are in full swing, inviting the birds and the bees to enjoy the sweet nectar of their fragrant, colourful flowers. The animals are out sunbathing, hunting for food and making sure that their young ones learn the ropes of living a successful life. Summers are productive and humming with activity.

Winter days, on the other hand, are often crisp and cold here. The feelings could be described as more introverted and withdrawn. The trees are bare and the landscape is sleeping, covered with a blanket of brilliant white snow. The plants and animals are in hibernation. It’s important to slow down in this season so that energy reserves don’t run out when food is less abundant. Winter provides a good opportunity for seeds to get the time and rest they need to germinate when winter is over and the spring rains fall.

Emotional expression sustains life

The expression of summer, winter, and all of the seasons in between are an important way in which the environment sustains itself. Without the energy of the summer, there would not be enough food produced to last throughout the winter. And without the rest in the winter, burn-out would occur and we’d soon be too tired to do anything at all.

There is neither beginning nor end, neither good nor bad—just a cycle of necessary emotions realised through the seasons that bring our environment into healthy balance and expression.

In this way, nature teaches us how to bring forth our emotions appropriately. Emotions occur unapologetically because it would be unhealthy to hide or hold back an expression of the season. When there is excess moisture in the air, it calls for rain. There’s no holding back. If it didn’t rain when it needed to, the landscape would suffer. The ground would not receive enough water to nourish the plants and rivers. Because nature knows what she needs to express and then expresses it, we benefit since we rely on her for our needs.

People are less willing to express emotion

And yet people suppress their emotions. Have you ever felt angry but held back its expression because you thought it was wrong? Have you ever felt like crying but stopped yourself because you didn’t want to be seen as weak? We do this all the time. We judge our emotions and then hide them. It’s not our fault though. We were brought up to believe that uncomfortable emotions such as anger and sadness are bad. But these labels don’t serve us well. After all, expressed appropriately, anger is an important way to draw boundaries; and sadness helps us to feel compassion and empathy.

Repressed emotion can build and show up inappropriately later as an over-the-top blow up or a mental or physical illness. The person becomes unbalanced because the necessary energy that is required to feed an authentic part of him or her is not being carried forth. Ultimately, their authentic self is not being expressed and their relationship with themselves and others suffer.

People are afraid that an ‘undesirable’ emotion makes them less loveable, so they force themselves to stop feeling it, to stop acknowledging that it’s there. But perhaps people would act differently if they remember that the essence of any landscape remains its same beautiful self no matter what emotion it’s expressing. Winter, summer, spring or autumn – each has its own unique beauty and purpose of giving the environment what’s necessary. Just like all seasons are useful, so are all emotions. There’s no need to be judgemental about what comes up. The emotion is just signalling what’s happening at the moment, what season it is. It’s all for the sake of re-balancing the system which is in constant flux.

Sometimes people suppress their emotion because it’s too painful. They might need to grieve the loss of a loved one but can’t bear to feel the sadness. Though I am not an expert at expressing this myself, it once helped me to understand that I was not the sadness itself. I could detach myself from it even though I was feeling it. Though I felt overwhelmed by it, I imagined that it was a wind that would keep knocking at my door until I opened it so the feeling could pass through and eventually die down.

Eventually it did.

How to let your emotions flow naturally

Spending time in nature is a safe way to let ourselves acknowledge and feel emotion without judgement. Maybe it’s because Mother Nature is so expressive herself, we can’t help but feel and be moved by her.

Journaling in the midst of nature is a good way to get your emotions flowing. Try writing in your journal non-stop for 10 minutes. Write down whatever comes up for you in that moment with no judgement. After 10 minutes of writing, take a walk in nature for another 10 minutes. Repeat this process three times, taking turns to write and walk for a total of one hour.

Mother Nature is sympathetic and gives us nurturance as we express our emotions. When we are feeling down, our spirits are uplifted when we see a lovely flower. This is nature telling us “It’s okay, you’re still loved”. Our feelings are validated in nature and we feel safe to be honest with ourselves.

Expressing emotion is natural and healthy. Especially if we express it with non-judgement and then let it go when it’s done. There’s no feeling shame or regret when a tree needs to drop its leaves. The falling leaves are an expression of needed release, and the earth beneath it graciously receives it. And from the nourished earth a beautiful flower is able to grow, expressing its authentic self and beauty in the world for all to see with no apologies.

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Mother Nature, that is.

The awareness that Mother Nature sustains you can be very uplifting.

She’s easy to find. She’s everywhere. Mother Nature is not just ‘out there’ in the wilderness in the middle of nowhere. Not just along the country road you drive on. She’s in your city! In the park by your house, your community garden, in your own backyard. She’s at your dinner table, on your plate, in your cup. So intimate are you with her, you could almost say you are one and the same, interconnected with everything.

If food, air and water are all part of nature; and you ate, breathed and drank it in today, at what point does it stop becoming nature? It doesn’t. It continues on with being you.

Mother Nature is not a far removed concept from you. Whether or not you are consciously aware of it, you’re experiencing her right now. Isn’t it healing to remember that you are part of such a beautiful life force?

When you pay attention to your interaction with Mother Nature, the connection between Mother and child deepens. The child [you] realises that you are truly loved, looked after, and secure. You realise that your Mother provides you with all of the food, medicine, air, water, beauty, and inspiration that your most authentic self needs to thrive.

What Mother Nature teaches us

Gardening is a great way to start the conversation with Mother Nature. When you plant a seed, it’s like you’re communicating a hope to her by saying: “Hello. I would like to learn more about who I am. Here is a seed we can plant together. Please teach me how this seed relates to me and my world. Show me how we can grow this seed of hope into something beautiful.”

Garden Therapy is what happens when you receive the healing benefits of interacting with nature in a garden setting. It can also be referred to as Horticultural Therapy, which the Canadian Horticultural Therapy Association defines as “the use of plants, gardens, and the natural landscape to improve cognitive, physical, social, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing”.

Both consciously and unconsciously, we learn so much about how we can behave in more balanced ways by spending time with plants and seeing how they interact with their environment. Mother Nature is an expert at creating harmony. She creates balanced ecosystems full of mutually-beneficial relationships based on the amount of nutrients and resources available.

A garden with healthy soil will support strong plants. Their flowers will attract and feed bees and butterflies. In turn, plants will get fertilised and produce food and seeds. Birds eat those seeds and help to disperse them. The nutrients get returned to the soil as organic matter gets composted back into the earth. In some way, everyone in the system both provides nourishment and gets nourished. Such a wonderfully energy-efficient and interconnected environment makes you feel a sense of awe. You realise it is possible to work with others in a balanced way so that everyone’s needs are met. This has an uplifting and inspiring effect on your spirit. You feel a sense of hope that you can have this security within your own community.

It is easy to be more present in a natural environment. Your true self shines through better because you realise that you are so much more than what your mind is thinking. Your senses are awakened and the mental chatter in your head calms down. Mother Nature pulls you away from your worries about the past and future. You can then ‘think’ with your heart and act more authentically.

How to deepen your relationship with Mother Nature

You don’t necessarily have to have your own garden and do gardening activities to benefit from the therapeutic effects of nature. Even just being in a garden or natural setting can have beneficial effects. You could go to a botanical or community garden, or that of a friend. An attractive natural setting like a park or forest is great too.

Think about the feelings, sights, sounds, scents, textures, and tastes that you love. Where can you find these soul-nourishing things in nature? Some ideas:

• Love the sound of birds? Go for a walk in a garden, forest or park and pay attention to the birds chirping. What are the birds doing? How do you relate to them? How do you affect each other?
• Love the smell of lavender? Plant some in your garden or visit a friend’s or community garden where your favourite scented flowers bloom. Feel its calming effect on your mood as you breathe in its lovely scent. If you have permission, harvest some flowers and make a bouquet for a friend who might need some uplifting.
• Love being with other people? Volunteer at a community garden to help beautify your neighbourhood and make it easier for others to appreciate what Mother Nature has to offer.
• Love cooking? Grow nutritious herbs and vegetables and use them in healthy meals for your friends and family.

Even if you don’t realise it, you are intimately connected to Mother Nature. Your relationship with her determines how secure you feel and how well you know your true self. You can consciously choose to strengthen your relationship with your Mother. She is waiting for you to have an intimate conversation with her. Start by remembering what you love about her and then go and find her. In doing so, you’ll find yourself.

This was first published in the February 2014 issue of Complete Wellbeing.

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