What is Bipolar Disorder?

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders-5 [DSM], bipolar disorder is a serious mental health condition marked by radically opposite states of mood. These moods may occur in phases, also called episodes.

The manic episode is typically marked by feelings of grandiosity or heightened self-esteem. People experiencing this phase may seem to be in a “high”. They may be unusually energetic, have little need for sleep, may talk excitedly, get easily distracted, and often recklessly pursue pleasurable activities. In contrast, the depression episode is marked by intense sadness, dejection, lack of energy, apathy and lack of interest in pleasurable activities. Typically, between both episodes, there may not be any symptoms.

A mild to moderate level of mania is called hypomania. Hypomania may feel good to the person and may be associated with good functioning and enhanced productivity. So even when family and friends learn to recognise the mood swings as a possible mental disorder, the person may deny that anything is wrong. Without proper treatment, however, hypomania can convert to a manic episode or major depression.

Because bipolar disorder tends to run in families, researchers have been searching for specific genes that could be linked to the disorder. Recent research shows that the MLC1 gene could be associated with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder in southern India. [Verma, Mukerji et al, 2005]. External environmental triggers could also set off the disorder or worsen existing symptoms. Stressful life events, substance abuse, seasonal changes, sleep deprivation are all potential triggers for either mania or depression.

What does the treatment involve?

Bipolar Disorder is a bio-chemical condition, therefore psychotherapy is not the first line of treatment. The professional to visit immediately, if one suspects the illness, is a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist will assess the history, symptoms and overall functionality of the person and accordingly prescribe medication.

Mood stabilizers are medications that help control the highs and lows of bipolar disorder. They are the cornerstone of treatment, both for mania and depression. Lithium is the oldest and most well-known mood stabilizer [recommended by APA Practice Guidelines]. Psychiatrists may also prescribe benzodiazepines, anti-depressants or anti-psychotic medications based on the persons’ symptom presentation. Adhering to the medication guidelines prescribed by the doctor is crucial to recovery.

Deciding to seek psychotherapy for bipolar disorder

Although psychotherapy is not the first line of treatment for bipolar disorder, medication offers only partial relief for patients. Seeking a trained psychologist can make a marked difference towards treatment adherence, relapse prevention, symptom management and leading a better quality of life.

However, just visiting a professional is not enough. Psychotherapy is hard work and is not just about “talking and listening”. The person needs to work within and between sessions to gain insight into their problems, change their activity level, daily schedule, mood, thinking and social relationships. The psychotherapist works with the person to change those negative thinking patterns that reduce their motivation to make these changes. It’s important to note that just meeting a counsellor will not be helpful, unless he or she is able to help you manage the illness effectively. You need to meet an accredited and trained psychotherapist, someone who will actively work to alleviate the symptoms.

How does psychotherapy help in bipolar disorder?

Psychotherapy teaches the benefit of adopting a rational stance when faced with difficult situations. The idea is that if one is upset by their problems, they now have two problems:

1. The problem
2. The upsetness.

In the initial phase of therapy, there will be an assessment. During this phase the therapist will take an extensive history, including timelines of the episodes. Some information that the therapist will seek:

• Age of onset of the illness
• Progression of symptoms over time
• Description of specific depressive symptoms
• Description of specific symptoms during elevated mood
• Description of sleep patterns and physical energy in each of the different mood phases
• Approximate duration for each of one’s mood phases
• Presence of suicidal thought and accompanying risk factors
• Impact of symptoms upon interpersonal relationships

Sometimes, along with bipolar disorder the person may also be diagnosed with another condition, eg: a personality disorder. Therefore, the therapist may conduct a psycho-diagnostic evaluation to rule out if there is any other mental illnesses. The therapist will also make a note of the medications the person is taking and monitor the psychiatric intervention, as also recommend any other medical interventions if needed.

The therapist will then provide “psycho-education”, which essentially means educating the client and the family about the illness. This will include explaining the symptom profile, the depression negative triad, brain physiology, the need for both medication and psychotherapy etc. Psychotherapy will also involve some family education, so that the family can learn to recognise symptoms, and how to adopt behavioural strategies to manage the mood episodes.

Psychotherapy will next involve the core phase, i.e. treatment of symptoms. This will include the following:

• Regulating daily schedule
• Keeping mood charts to note daily mood fluctuations
• Restructuring negative thinking
• Promoting adherence with medication regimens
• Reducing risk of suicide
• Identifying triggers that increase the risk for relapse
• Mediating any hospitalizations

Identifying the prodromal symptoms

The most important benefit of psychotherapy is helping the patient and the family detect “prodromes”.

The word prodrome comes from the phrase, “running before”, and refers to the period that precedes a mood episode. In bipolar disorder some environmental triggers may precede a mood episode. These triggers may include seasonal variation, certain stressors [such as disagreement with spouse], work overload etc. Although bipolar moods are not always “predictable”, identifying a certain set of triggers that typically precede a mood episode can prevent episodes from occurring and establish overall smoother management of the illness. The therapist can help the person analyse previous mood episodes, keep daily mood charts and use those logs to identify themes in triggers.

Support groups

Lastly, psychotherapists will guide their patients and families to seek out the help of support groups for bipolar disorder. Sharing within these groups, where other members report similar experiences, can not only reduce shame and guilt but also offer a different perspective on coping.

Bipolar disorder is a complex condition, with a long and often uncomfortable ride for both the patient and their loved ones. Seeking the right professional help can help the person not only manage their illness well, but also motivate them to seek their highest potential, and live their life with dignity and satisfaction.

The post Here’s why you should consider psychotherapy for bipolar disorder appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

People like Ms S can be frustrating and annoying to be around: a lot of us would categorise them as “difficult people”. This challenging group usually falls into a cluster of mental disorders called personality disorders. Ms S had a type of personality disorder called Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Is narcissistic personality disorder the same as narcissism?

The narcissistic personality was first described in 1925 by Robert Waelder, a noted Austrian psychoanalyst, and the term Narcissistic Personality Disorder [NPD] came into use in 1968. The term Narcissism originates from Greek Mythology: a hunter named Narcissus known for his beauty, fell in love with his own reflection and was so mesmerised by it that he became rooted to the spot. Soon, unable to bear this unrequited love, Narcissus lost his will to live and committed suicide.

Narcissism essentially refers to a set of traits where there is pursuit of gratification or egotistic admiration of one’s idealised self-image and attributes. It was also at one time called megalomania—people who are arrogant, self-centred and manipulative. However, people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder are not in the truest sense narcissists. While their external behaviour may resemble the qualities of narcissism [grandiosity, exploitation, arrogance] internally they are people with self-esteem issues, with a tendency to be shame-sensitive, vulnerable, inhibited and anxiety-prone [Gabbard, 1989]. The external superior behaviour is frequently just an armor [or even a fragile shell] that covers an extremely vulnerable self.

The Diagnostic and Statistical manual [DSM-5] indicates that persons with narcissistic personality disorders usually display some or all the following symptoms, typically without the commensurate qualities or accomplishments

1. Grandiosity with expectations of superior treatment from other people
2. Fixated on fantasies of power, success, intelligence, attractiveness, etc.
3. Self-perception of being unique, superior, and associated with high-status people and institutions
4. Needing continual admiration from others
5. Sense of entitlement to special treatment and to obedience from others
6. Exploitative of others to achieve personal gain
7. Unwilling to empathise with the feelings, wishes, and needs of other people
8. Intensely envious of others, and the belief that others are equally envious of them
9. Pompous and arrogant demeanour.

How does NPD develop?

People with narcissism may have a naturally strong bent toward competitiveness. The meaning children make out of their childhood experiences—especially overtly traumatic events or very negative and chronic experiences—may increase the expression of these inherited tendencies. Research finds that narcissistic personality disorder has higher prevalence among men and roughly occurs in 6% of the general population. NPD symptoms usually decrease with age, around the 40s, like most personality disorders.

There are two subtypes of NPD [Gabbard, 1989; Caligor et al 2015] recognised in the clinical setting. The grandiose [overt] tend more toward displays of self-importance, grandiosity, attention seeking, entitlement, arrogance, fantasies of admiration, denial of weakness, and exploitative behaviour. The vulnerable [covert] are more likely to be shy, self-effacing, “fragile” or thin-skinned. They are hypersensitive to the evaluations of others while chronically envious and evaluating themselves in relation to others. It is theorized that the subtypes develop because of the different approaches of earlier caregivers: overly indulgent with extravagant praise versus cold with excessive expectations. Both types are extraordinarily self-absorbed.

The narcissistic beliefs about the Self

It is important to note that the traits of narcissism can also characterise highly successful individuals with high self-esteem [American psychiatric association, 2000]. However, people with high self-esteem are confident of their personal worth because their esteem is based on realistic self-appraisals of demonstrated talents and achievements. Corrective feedback does not trigger a dramatic loss of self-esteem. For the person with NPD, self-esteem is established by outward success and they remain firmly rooted in the importance of a flawless or powerful image, like Narcissus remained rooted to the spot while admiring his reflection. Without a flawless image, core beliefs of inferiority become activated.

People with NPD thus swing between two extreme internal views of self. When others are disregarding or critical, their internal dialogue is “I am inferior, nothing, a piece of garbage”. On the other hand, when receiving accolades or special treatment they swing the other way believing “I am superior”. In a similar fashion, they view the world also with disdain [people are more inferior than me] and swing the other way when others gain success [people are superior, hurtful, demeaning].

Soon there is erosion of their functional world—their success becomes dotted with evidence of difficulties in the workplace, inappropriate anger, exploitation of others [e.g., deceit, sexual harassment], legal difficulties, and financial problems resulting from grandiosity and entitlement.

Dealing with a person who has NPD

Recovery for people with NPD is usually difficult as they bring to therapy the same strategies that they use to cope with the outside world- trying to impress the therapist, punishing the therapist when feeling slighted [through criticism, snide remarks], demanding entitlements and treating the therapist as an inferior. Creating an alliance with the NPD patient requires special skill because the main internal relationship pattern [dyad] embedded in the patient’s mind is that of a superior person in relation to an inferior one.

As a therapist, I learnt the following mantras when communicating with people diagnosed with NPD. Some of these may be useful to you when dealing with a loved one who has NPD:

Develop a thick skin

I typically ignore slights and put-downs and use either respect or humour to manage the attack. A client with NPD, came in early to his first session and examined every certificate in my waiting room. He then picked one of my award trophies, carried it to the therapy room and sneered “Are you sure you didn’t buy this for 1000 bucks at a store? Just kidding doc”. My response [grinning] “Let’s make sure the organisers of that award don’t hear that”

Lay limits without judgment

I adopt a strategy of firmness with politeness when setting limits with NPD clients [which is usually quite often]. Eg: Speaking loudly on their phone in the waiting area is managed with a “Hope the sign was visible outside stating silence in the waiting area as it disturbs the client in the therapy room”

Defer to them

I often have a client with NPD showing off their designer watch or giving me advice on furnishing my office more tastefully. I usually reply “Oh that’s a nice watch” or “Yes, you are right, the colour scheme of this room can be changed”. Using the assertiveness principal called fogging which means “agree in part, or in principal”, is helpful to deal with such messages.

Be a good person

Look below the surface to the pain and low self-esteem that lies below. A patient was affronted because I didn’t accept her friend request on social media. “It’s nonsense that you don’t want your patients on social media because of ‘boundaries’. In reality you are afraid people will see that you hardly do any real work, unlike your other colleagues. You are trying to hide the fact that you are a second-rate psychologist”. While this attack was harsh, I framed the discussion such that the reasons for her statements emerged. One of the questions I asked her “What did it mean to you when I refused your friend request?” Slowly, her rejection sensitivity came to the surface.

Recovery is possible

People with NPD have been conditioned since childhood to over-use certain coping strategies. They believe that demanding special treatment from others, being hypervigilant to insults, punishing others when feeling hurt, trying to impress people and trying to compete, is “normal” expected behaviour. Many people with NPD do not know that their behaviour and feelings are abnormal because they have nothing to compare it to. It could be very late in their life when they first start to realise that a lot of people don’t feel the way they do.

In their journey towards recovery, people with NPD need to develop ways to blend in with the general population, discover their own unique potential and feel truly confident about themselves. Some of the replacement strategies they need to develop are:

• Cooperating with others toward achieving a common goal.
• Being comfortable with others’ achievements
• Tolerating inconveniences, frustration, lack of recognition.
• Developing an attitude of optimism
• Meeting others’ expectations without great benefit to self.

When I see a client with NPD slowly changing their ways of thinking and developing true inner confidence, this quote by Mother Teresa comes to mind “If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are.”

Examples cited are modified in order to protect the client’s identity.

The post How to communicate with someone who has narcissistic personality disorder appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

What is the impact of such media reports on young minds?

In India, the I&B Ministry hasn’t laid down laws regarding responsible media portrayal of sensitive issues. Unfortunately this encourages the media and uninformed viewers to promote and share shocking content in the guise of “spreading awareness”. But the effect is unfortunately the opposite; it creates a suicide contagion. The teen population is particularly vulnerable. A 2017 WHO report titled “Mental Health Status of Adolescents in South-East Asia” found that 25 per cent of Indian students admit to feeling depressed. This is further backed by reports from the Global Burden of Disease Study 2013 where suicide was reported as the biggest killer of 15- to 24-year-olds in India. And most recently, a report released by the Health Ministry titled “India: Health of the Nation’s States 2017” found that the leading reasons for injury burden among the youth is suicide and self-harm. This makes teens and young adults a high-risk population for suicide.

To recognise why we need to be responsible reporters of shocking news, especially for the youth, let’s understand the teenage brain. Nicola Morgan, the author of Blame My Brain, says that in teenagers, the part of the brain which seems to be working overtime is the amygdala, a tiny almond shaped structure in our emotional [limbic] brain, linked to gut reaction and raw emotion. At the same time, the pre-frontal cortex—the part of our brain that allows us to calm ourselves down, make rational decisions, and think logically—has not yet fully developed.

The theory goes that our neurons [brain cells] are insulated by a fatty substance called myelin, which is essential for controlled and healthy functioning of our nervous system. The process of insulation starts from the lowest parts of our brain and the last area to be myelinated, well into adulthood, is our pre-frontal cortex. Since the process of myelination has not been completed in teen brains, this explains the knee-jerk reactions and “motor-mouth” talk we associate so well with teenagers. Therefore, we need to be extra careful around young minds as they are unable to think completely logically; they can’t differentiate reality from their inner world nor judge consequences well. More importantly, the underdeveloped teenage brain makes this age group most vulnerable to depression and impulsive acts. That’s why when people argue that they share videos to make teens aware of such cases, my response is that this is counter-productive and can, in fact, add to the problem. The evidence is that in the days following this suicide case and the sharing of that video, the average number of calls I receive from troubled teens multiplied; many of them expressed that they were having suicidal thoughts.

The same “suicide contagion effect” was observed just after the Netflix series 13 Reasons Why was released. Soon after the series was released, there was an increase in Google searches for ‘how to commit suicide’ and ‘teen suicide’.

Here are some things we can do as a society to prevent teen suicides

Post responsibly

Any information received about suicide, self-harm, depression needs to be verified before being posted on social media or broadcasted on WhatsApp. Avoid forwarding videos and images about graphic portrayals of celebrity suicides or other types of deaths. There is no need to view or share those details.

Establish safety

If you teen shows signs of depression then take measures to keep the environment safe. Remove sharp objects and dangerous ingestible substances. Keep a watch on your teen’s outings and store contacts details of their friends. Request them that you will periodically check their phones [in their presence]. Install content-control software to ensure your teen is not being exposed to age-inappropriate content on the web. Educate them about general safety and cyber safety.

Be a moderator, not a helicopter

Despite the safety you may try to establish, reality is that your child may be exposed to graphic portrays of self-harm and suicide [the blue whale challenge, TV series such as “13 reasons why”, social media material]. Out of anxiety, parents end up helicoptering teens which causes more resentment and secretiveness. A balanced approach is to communicate about their feelings regarding these experiences. Ask how it impacts them and assure them you are with them no matter what.

Monitor physical health

Take your teen for regular health check-ups to test for deficiencies in vitamins D3 and B12 as low levels of these usually masquerade as depression. Ensure that the child is not eating too many sugary foods as these can cause a sugar-rush followed by a sudden drop in energy, creating a cycle of “high-low” moods. Studies show that morning hunger is strongly linked to depression so ensure that your teen does not leave home on an empty stomach. Physical exercise is a must to reduce low moods. As per the WHO, even 10 minutes of aerobic exercise is sufficient for good health.

Insist on good sleep

One major study has shown that sleep-deprived people are 40 times more likely to suffer from clinical depression. Research shows that teens need more than nine hours of sleep. Lesser sleep builds up a sleep debt and makes the teen lose out on REM [Rapid Eye Movement] sleep, which is important for memory and learning.

Be informed and communicate

Read up on teenage years [those that talk about the teen brain are often very informative]. It will help create a sense of empathy about what teens are going through and reduce your frustration as a parent. Keep your communication channels open and encourage your teen to share. Don’t judge their secrecy; it’s a part of growing up and creating their space. When teens feel comfortable, they share what is on their mind. Demonstrate rational thinking and controlled behaviour, as these will be models for your teen to replicate as they step into adulthood.

Seek professional help

Often only a mental health professional [psychiatrist/psychologist] can correctly diagnose if the teenager is depressed. Such professionals will run tests and interview the child to differentiate transient mood swings from depression. Trust the expert to provide professional help and work with them to help your child attain good mental health. 

The post Preventing teen suicides is our collective duty appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Similarly, only a few forward-thinking mothers believed in the ‘work-life balance’ concept. Today, several couples approach me to help them balance their personal and professional lives. Family therapy with a lot of my clients has made me privy to the ever-evolving role of a woman and a mother.

These are subtle but sure indications that women—in particular mothers—are changing in their individual roles, as also in the way society is receiving them.

The new-age mom

In the past, women are known to give up their careers after marriage and motherhood to become silent backbones of the family.

But the modern woman wears a fairly new crown—that of a CEO, entrepreneur or business manager. According to the Bureau of Labor statistics, the number of women in the workforce has gone up from 18.4 million in 1950 to 69 million in 2004, creating a force of ‘working moms’.

And the few stay-at-home mothers are no longer ‘ordinary housewives’ doing just cooking and cleaning. Apart from overseeing housework, they also plan the family finances, monitor children’s education, head PTA associations and are active in organising family functions.

Most of these pure homemakers also manage part-time careers. With men putting in longer working hours, mummies need to double up as daddies as well—teaching children before exams, taking them for holidays and disciplining them.

In short, the “full-time mother” who was content to stay home and manage the house and kids is now being replaced by a woman, who wants a slice of life for herself and is ready to take on several more challenging roles.

Mommy at work

The usual question most families face when the woman of the house steps out to work is: “Will she compromise on her roles as wife, mother and homemaker?” Recent research believes not! According to a 20-year survey by the American Psychological Association, a woman’s career does not hamper her child’s development.

In fact, several studies prove that working moms seem to actually have a positive impact on the family.

Children of working moms seem to do better academically, socially and emotionally. Moreover, daughters of working mothers seem to have more independence and a higher sense of competence.A recent study by psychologist Enakshi Kapoor of SNDT University, showed that 80 per cent of urban Indian children actually like and encourage the idea of a working mom.

Moreover, husbands, in-laws and parents, especially in metros clearly want the woman to be actively employed—for increased income as it creates a more independent home atmosphere.However, on the other side of the coin, a lot of women don’t have it that easy.

The flipside

Palomi Kulkarni came to me with depression and anxiety. Her day was a squeezed-to-the-limit schedule of managing three children [one with dyslexia], housework, and the demands of a joint family, along with her job as project manager of a large IT company.

Although her family has been willing to accept the idea of her being a career woman, they were not willing to excuse her from the duties of a homemaker.

Firstly, in families where the woman faces little or no help, she tends to burnout, causing several mental and emotional disturbances in her.

Secondly, if the mother is constantly tired/unhappy/stressed, she is unlikely to be the most patient or caring parent. Her children too could then have various emotional and behavioural problems, affecting their health and schooling.

Thirdly, if the man sticks to traditional beliefs and makes his wife do the lion’s share of the work, it would obviously cause frequent quarrels and strain the marriage, creating a strained home atmosphere.

The bottom line: one crucial factor that makes a vital difference between a happy and an unhappy home atmosphere [regardless of whether mom is working or not] is the ‘support’ the mother can get from her family.

Family matters

Some women are fortunate to be blessed with the unquestioning support of their family. “A woman should have the choice whether to work or not and the family’s support in her decision is extremely crucial. Although I work more for my independence and identity than for financial reasons, without the total backing of my husband and kids, I would never have taken up such a demanding career,” says Rubina Mazhar, director of a Hyderabad-based travel school and founder of SAFA society [which works towards the socioeconomic empowerment of women].

Here are a few practical ways the family can start being pillars of strength for a woman:

Perspective change: The first and most important transformation has to be in the attitude. Both husband and wife should share responsibilities equally, regardless of who works outside the house and who earns more. Similarly, family members who belong to the older generation may need to become more open towards moving the central focus of household duties away from the woman.

Daddy time: Husbands can take over the sole responsibility of the children for one day in a week. This has double benefits: it helps strengthen the father-children bond, and give the mother a little free time.

Divide and rule: The mother can delegate some of the housework, which will not only create a sense of responsibility among family members but will also prevent her from getting resentful of the extra burden.

Emotional support: Most women, working or not, feel happier when their family listens to them and understands their needs. Husbands especially can take out time to just sit and hear their wives vent their feelings. This will not only energise the marriage, but also create an overall happy home atmosphere.

Help mummy fly: Often mothers put their needs at the background, and encourage the other family members to pursue their dreams. So it’s up to the husband and kids to make sure that mummy too gets some time alone. And has the freedom to take up a hobby or passion of her choice.

So let’s go ahead and celebrate the new-age mother who can handle all her new roles with poise and grace. And be there for her for a healthy, happy and fulfilled family life for all.

The post Moms in a new role appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Our body speaks its own language: each time you move a hand, or your eyes or even shift your weight you give away what you are thinking at that particular moment. clearly, actions do speak louder than words!

Know your body’s language

Body language is a form of non-verbal communication that involves the use of stylised gestures, postures, and physiologic signs, which act as cues to other people. Hundreds of years of research have concluded that we depend heavily on body language to reach conclusions about a person’s honesty, attitudes and preferences.

In fact, lawyers and judges also make decisions about innocence based on the body language of the accused. Psychologists and therapists rely heavily on their clients’ sitting posture, hand movements and eye contact to gauge what kind of mental disturbance they may be having.

Body language also decides if we like a person or not. According to Dr Albert Mehrabian, world authority on body language: Total Liking = 7 per cent verbal liking + 38 per cent vocal liking + 55 per cent facial liking.

So although you may think you loved a teacher’s class because she taught so well, in all likelihood her words left less impact on you than the animated gestures she used and how well modulated her voice was. Moreover, since it’s tougher to control body language than our words, people choose to rely more on these signals to gauge the feelings involved, especially in difficult situations.

Imagine that your boss takes you aside and gives you a talk about your poor performance. You can choose not to say anything but how could you not send a non-verbal message? Nodding gravely would be a response. So would blushing, avoiding or making direct eye contact, shaking your head affirmatively or negatively.

While you can shut off your linguistic channels of communication by refusing to speak or write, it is virtually impossible to avoid sending signals through your body.

This is why it becomes very important to understand the language that our body speaks and learn effective ways of adjusting non-verbal communication to make it more effective.

Use body language to your advantage

Experts believe that one of the most important precursors to success is how one controls his or her body language. For example, if you have a habit of crossing your arms while talking, people could perceive that as a sign of being rude. Although this may just be a habit with you, most people would unconsciously interpret your gesture as untrustworthy and judge you based on your actions.

Using the right body language sends out positive signals to people you meet. Not only will you be liked and trusted, but this could also hugely boost your relationships, career and even your self-esteem. Research has found that nearly all body language behaviours include one or more of eight primary elements.

Here are some tips on the universally accepted way of using these eight elements.

1. Face: A person’s face communicates emotions clearly. Smiles for instance convey friendliness. You can express warmth and acceptance on your face by thinking positive thoughts; when you think good things, it’s likely to show up in your expression!
2. Eyes: They are the window to your soul. Maintaining eye contact gives an impression of honesty and genuineness; poor eye contact may indicate lack of interest, being untruthful, shyness or a feeling of superiority.What’s good eye contact then? Focus your eyes on the other person, and gently shift your gaze away from their face and then back. Never stare into a person’s eyes or their forehead—it conveys doubt, hostility or insincerity. Avoid blinking frequently as it indicates anxiety and lack of confidence.
3. Gestures: Stroking the chin while listening suggests that the listener is contemplating what is being said. Similarly, nodding conveys interest and understanding. Pointing can have a cultural significance—in the USA, pointing with an extended finger is common; while in Asia, it is considered rude. Handshakes are a universal gesture of greeting.Fidgeting, tapping a pen, drumming on the desk, jingling pocket change, shifting from one foot to the other are all considered negative body language—so avoid them.
4. Postures: Crossing arms and legs are considered defensive gestures, indicating barriers and an attempt to protect oneself. Hands on the hips may suggest superiority. In a face-to-face conversation, always sit at a slight angle and lean forward when speaking. This indicates genuine interest. Avoid slouching, leaning back and stretching your feet in front of you.
5. Tone: We pay more attention to the inflection, pitch and pace of a speaker’s voice rather than the words they use. So keep your voice wide awake, smile when you speak, avoid artificial accents, enunciate clearly and emphasise important words.
6. Movement: Moving toward another person may send a message of dominance or assertiveness, while moving away from another person may send a message of avoidance, submission, or simply bringing the interaction to a close.
7. Touch: This is one of the most powerful elements of body language used for friendship, professional, social, and intimacy purposes. Touch has cultural significance; in Asian cultures a while greeting someone, a touch on the shoulder is adequate, while Americans prefer hugging or kissing.
8. Appearance: Dressing and hygiene says a lot about you and your mood. A few pointers: dress neatly and appropriately; avoid overpowering perfumes and hair oils. Use minimal make-up and jewellery. Clothes need to be ironed, colour co-ordinated and occasion specific.Yet body language is not always reliable. Sitting with your arms crossed is often perceived as a defensive, stand-off posture. But it might simply mean that you are feeling cold!

Don’t jump to conclusions

Body language can have a multitude of meanings depending on several factors, and it is a serious mistake to assume that you can decide the truth in any given case.

A better idea is to look for clusters of behaviour instead of just one action. If someone has their arms crossed and their lips pursed disapprovingly, it’s a fairly safe bet they are on the defensive.

Most body language experts favour the Rule of Four—look for at least four signals suggesting the same thing before totally believing it.

So while some proponents do claim that body language is the key that makes it possible to read a person ‘like a book’, approach that thought with caution! An awareness of body language can certainly boost your understanding of others, but it’s unlikely to transform you into a mind reader.

And finally, remember that your body language is only a reflection of your inner self. If you have a positive attitude, high self-esteem and confidence it will automatically show up as appealing body language!

The post Body Language—The Unspoken Communication appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.