A multi-tasker

Fathers are now as involved in child rearing as the mothers. “It’s tough being a dad today”, says Mukesh Rishi, an actor, businessman and father of two. “Sometimes it feels like you work and struggle, but there’s never enough of you to go around. With changing times, the pressures are becoming more challenging. Yet, you are so important that you are nearly irreplaceable in the lives of your children. Fatherhood is a privilege given by the almighty, and with this comes the power to influence lives. Exercised responsibly that power can shower blessing on you and your family.”But Rishi isn’t the only dad having a tough time juggling roles and wondering so why so much fuss is made about Fathers day every year, when the whole year around it’s work and some more work! Although Rishi confesses that he spends quality time with his children whenever he can, he still feels guilty most of the time!

A role model and friend

Privilege, power, responsibility and sacrifice are all part of the same package – Fatherhood! He gives his children an example of healthy masculinity that will survive down through the generations. Take for instance, this dad who brought up his girls all on his own and is now waiting for them to get married. After his wife died of cancer, life wasn’t the same, says V Appukuttan. “Just when I thought I am retired and can now relax, I feel it’s a whole new life after 60. Without my wife around, I dedicated my life to social service but I also have the responsibility of marrying off my two grown-up daughters who want to settle down at their own pace. I have learnt to respect that mutually,” Appukuttan adds.

The family depends a lot on the father, no matter where they are or what they do; the pressure to perform is a priority. But they do it in the best possible way they can. Voices Victor Ferns, a father of two, an offshore petroleum engineer working at sea most of the year around, “I come home after several months sometimes and its like Christmas. It’s like a reunion party. But I make sure that I am contactable, whenever possible, even when I am away at sea. I have everything chalked out, even the online bills to be paid and the numerous home situations — I try my best to co-ordinate. Victor further adds, “It’s not easy when you come home and your 12-year old has suddenly become a teen who asks, “Daddy, do you think I look fat?” I know the teen “body wars” are on but I smile and say, “you will always be pretty”.

Value-setter

Another important aspect for which all fathers are looked-up at is values. Values that are held in common unite people and families. If the values are profound and worthy of human dignity, they will withstand crisis and deepen the character of the individuals in the family. Conversely, crisis will challenge the values of a family and reveal the characters of its members. If the values are based on superficialities such as money, power, physical beauty or pleasure they will crumble under stress.

Anand Kumar, a father who is a teacher by profession, explains, “Religion provides the context for understanding the purpose of life and its events. Both parents and children are prized in an intimate manner. The shared values of both, dad and mom, are expressed to the children by example and direction. These values help to unite the family while shaping the children’s character.”

Above all, the primary communication in a family is love. The first role of the family is to love and to build a civilisation of love. Dads know their children as no one else and can love them as no one else can. The unconditional love of family members to each other makes their role irreplaceable. Anand adds, “If you become their leader, they will follow your footsteps. If you go fishing or nature trekking they will cultivate a love for it too. And if you pray often and follow religion fervently your children too will do so. Imitation is the best method of learning.”

Thank you for everything

Today, the father is no more the “Big Bad Boss” – the parent who gives orders. He is now a friend, guide and leader – someone who doesn’t dictate ways to live, but sets an example by living that way. So this fathers day, let us show our dads how special they are to us by expressing our love and gratitude in the most special way we can.

So on Fathers day, let’s say cheers to the Dad who is the leader – a leader who gives choices. He is the dad who is mind you, the unseen “corner stone” of every family, standing strong holding up and enjoying his role. It’s tough with life’s many challenges, but worth the while after all!

The post FATHER: A strong support appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Dancing can be magical and transforming. On a physical level, dancing can give you a great mind-body workout. Researchers are learning that regular physical activity can help keep your body, including your brain, healthy as you age. Exercise increases the level of brain chemicals that encourage nerve cells to grow. And dancing that requires you to remember dance steps and sequences boosts brain power by improving memory skills.

Benefits galore

Research shows that like other moderate, low-impact, weight bearing activities, such as brisk walking, cycling or aerobics, dancing can help:

• Strengthen bones and muscles without hurting joints
• Tone your entire body and manage weight
• Improve your posture and balance, which prevent falls
• Increase your stamina and flexibility
• Reduce stress and tension
• Build confidence
• Provide opportunities to meet people
• Ward-off illnesses like diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, osteoporosis, and depression.

So if you’re tired of the treadmill and looking for a fun way to stay fit and healthy, it might be time to kick up your heels!

Dance as therapy

Dance’s expressive aspects help people process feelings they may have trouble dealing with in conscious. “Dance allows people to experience themselves in ways they didn’t know they could,” explains Sudha Chandran, an eminent dance professor; “You can change your internal state through external movement.” Sudha Chandran is a famous actress, who overcame her disabilities through the healing power of dance movements.

She says, “Dance forms can be used to help teenagers with severe emotional disabilities. Dancing is all about moving to a rhythm, and is therapeutic because it is a unique way for people to express themselves and connect with others. There’s a cathartic aspect to dance. It helps people regain lost pride and feel good about themselves.”

Many dance therapists believe that the use of non-verbal movement communication, combined with verbal therapy, can open the door to the unconscious mind. By evolving this state of self-awareness, dance therapy can repair scars of childhood trauma, providing a non-verbal communicative language for stroke or accident victims, who have limited verbal language ability.

The connection between the body and emotions, and the healing power of dance has been suggested for centuries. The Ancient Greeks believed dance to be healing because it provided a safe opportunity to release emotions. It has also been said that dance is used as a form of non-verbal psychotherapy to treat people with serious psychosocial and behavioural problems, including schizophrenia, depression, autism, and eating disorders.

“But you don’t have to be unwell to benefit from the therapeutic effects of dance forms,” elaborates Shiamak Daver, renowned modern dance enthusiast. “Dance is my passion and to do a show with a spiritual theme appeals to me. It also gives one an incredible platform to present spectacular theatre. It saddens me that messages through dance that inspire you, that help you believe in goodness and in values are considered to be “out of fashion”. People would rather be entertained in a sensational dance manner, so why not give them a bit of both?

“Dance is more about moving the spirit than just physical motion. My dancers are my extended family, who have travelled the world with me and our energy drives us to a higher level. Along with our international performers, they brought my vision to life. Social IQ surely develops through dance as well,” he adds.

Related » Shiamak Davar on Spirit Guides, Dancing, Faith, and more…

Sense of wellbeing

Dance boosts mood more than exercise alone. The effects of dancing are multi-faceted, along with physiological effects, there are many psychological effects of dance.

“First of all, there is the sense of wellbeing associated with any form of regular exercise. Neurotransmitters such as endorphins are produced during exercise, increasing physical feelings of wellbeing, which in turn translate into emotional and mental wellbeing, as well as a reduction in tension,” elucidates Neenu Khanna, Reebok “aerobic dancercise” trainer who uses hip music and dance fusions to enthuse her classes. “Dancing has cardiovascular effects, helps to increase health and decrease blood pressure, as well as improves fitness levels and reduces obesity. This increased level of healthiness often increases a sense of wellbeing and the reduction in risk factors may help alleviate anxiety and stress about future ill health.”

Fun for kids

Speaking to eminent theatre actress Rael Padamsee regarding the fitness aspects involved with dance exercises in her theatrical plays, she says, “Summer is back and so are performance-oriented workshops for little actors and budding divas! It is filled with unlimited fun, plays, and dances! Workshops are specially designed to let children “break free” and encourage them to shed their inhibitions and unleash the star in them. It allows kids to enter a world of drama and fantasy and break-free from school, studies and exam pressure!”

Rael further adds, “Body movement is essential for every child. Dance is a multi-beneficial form of exercise for kids. Not only is it fun, and a great way to make new friends, but it also helps build muscle strength and increase flexibility. It aids children in developing a sense of balance, agility and coordination. Children learn correct physical postures and discover ways to express themselves.”

So, there you have it, dancing is like a psychological therapy itself, bringing out the real person from the shy interiors! So put on your dancing shoes and turn up the volume, you could be on your way to bliss!

The post Dance to Keep Your Mind, Body and Soul Fit appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Sensational singer Padmashree Hariharan says he is a fervent believer of the guru mantra and the guru-shishya tradition.

What is the secret behind this talent and success?

“Guru Mantra,” says Hariharan straightaway. “It is a philosophy of life that one learns from one’s guru, not just a talent or practice. For me, it has become a way of life.”

“The guru-shishya tradition is centered on the transmission of teachings from a guru to a shishya, which roughly equates to the western term “disciple”. The principle of this relationship is that knowledge, especially subtle or advanced knowledge, is best conveyed through a strong human relationship based on ideals of the student’s respect, commitment, devotion and obedience, and on personal instruction by which the student eventually masters the knowledge that the guru embodies.”

Hariharan bathes in the fact that he has been blessed by two gurus — both different in their ways, thoughts about life as well as teachings. That’s why maybe he is a master of fusion music, making him a versatile artist. A ghazal singer, playback singer and one of the pioneers of Indian fusion music.

The son of renowned Carnatic vocalists Shrimati Alamelu and the late H A S Mani, Hariharan inherited his parents’ talents. He wholeheartedly devotes himself to his first guru – his mother.

He says, “My mother taught me Carnatic music, the foundation and the basics. That embedded music in me in the first place.”

Hariharan’s instructions later in the true guru-shishya tradition came in his relationship with Padmabhushan Ustad Ghulam Mustafa Khan, where he developed a passion for ghazals and started training in Hindustani music. The committed Hariharan also put his heart and soul into learning Urdu when he decided to become a ghazal singer.

“Yes, I definitely put a lot of effort into learning Urdu and it was my deep passion for ghazals that motivated me to dedicate myself to this language. My guru mantra changes for each performance, stage event and song. The formula varies from song to song as I put unique improvisations and methodology into each song.”

Hariharan perfected his Urdu diction to such standards that even his audiences in Lucknow, the heartland of the language, have been impressed.

The guru-shishya relationship is sacred. In the words of Buddha, “The pupil is also to act as a check, as it were, upon the preceptor, in keeping him steadfast in the faith.”

Drawing from ancient scriptures, Swami Vivekananda also talks of “education” as manifestation of the potential divinity in man, which, he also adds, is unique in each individual. It is the job of a guru to bring out the uniqueness in each disciple.

The bond is deeper and personal, says Hariharan, in regard to today’s new generation shishyas. “It is imperative for India’s educational institutions to start foreseeing a future in which talent imprisoned in the educational institutions breaks forth to enjoy the world beyond the classrooms, under the able guidance of the Guru, who can be more of a mentor. This return, as it were, to the guru-shishya tradition will empower the individual to develop special skills that do not come under the stamp of “regular” qualifications and achievements.”

In 1996, Hariharan and Leslie Lewis formed a band called the Colonial Cousins. They were the only Asian band to perform in the MTV Unplugged show. In 1998, Hariharan won the national award for best male playback singer. All these are true examples of how both his gurus have implanted vibrant talents in their shishya in unique and diverse ways.

However, Hariharan laments the decline of such a precious bonding in the modern world. “Today, the social and commercial environment with thousands of students, probably does not allow the Guru or the disciple to attain such a relationship. It has subscribed to the common belief that success in the classroom or the acquisition of fame or money or a complex skill can be achieved by plain repetition or by reinforcement of identical patterns of response. The learner’s need for an atmosphere of freedom and self-reliance in the learning process and his psychological growth is completely sidelined.”

The post Singer “Padmashree” Hariharan on teacher-student bond appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Join the club!

With a toddler to care for, taking care of guests, a house to clean, phone calls and endless chores, it can seem almost impossible to find time in your day to just sit back and relax!

Meet Aditi Govitrikar, doctor and celebrity, who delivered a baby boy, a few months ago, and manages either side of the spectrum with ease and poise.

Mrs World 2001, actress, wife, and mother of two, Govitrikar is the eldest of three children, and comes from a very orthodox Brahmin family. She is married to renowned surgeon, Dr Muzaffal Lakdawala, and has settled down well. She finds true sweetness in her motherhood.

Not many people know that Govitrikar is a MBBS who turned to modelling.

Deal with stress

Govitrikar says that hormonal changes aren’t the only explanation for stressed-out new mothers. She acknowledges that identifying symptoms and dealing with them are crucial.

As for her new-found mom-again life, she says, “Stress for new mothers shows up in two forms. One is called ‘Baby Blues,’ which a vast majority of women experience with some form of moodiness. They usually occur within the first week after birth and may last for two to three weeks. The symptoms, which are quite normal, soon go by. These include tiredness, irritability, sadness and even anxiety.”

Govitrikar says that if problems intensify it can show signs of post-delivery depression, the other form. Symptoms include hopelessness, fatigue and worry. “A sufferer may also experience drastic changes in appetite too, aside from excessive preoccupation with the child’s health and a general ‘air’ of feeling low.”

While research suggests that hormonal changes may contribute to the onset of post-delivery problems, no definitive hormonal cause as such has been identified, Govitrikar points out. Factors that can help in allaying the problem include family and social support. “Prepare well in advance, while you are expecting. Get all the help you need. Call your mother over to assist, and do not shy away from revealing what you may be going through to your family, or your doctor.”

Know your facts

To be well-informed about one’s mind and body is important, “During pregnancy and trimesters, prepare yourself with facts. Well, just after you’ve held your favourite pair of jeans up to your expanded tummy, you probably think that you can never wear them again. You must know that if you eat right during pregnancy, and follow your gynaecologist’s advice, you can easily shed all the weight gained post-delivery, and wear your favourite jeans again.”

Adds Govitrikar: “There may be no more catching up with friends, romantic getaways, or even time to read. Yes, some aspects of your life will change forever at the end of these nine months. But, if you can revisit a few of your pre-baby interests, such as lively relationships, exercise, career, or creative pursuits, you and your child will reap the benefits.”

Take care of yourself

“You’re a better mother to your baby if you can take care of yourself.” Her advice: “Mothers should integrate one or more of their own interests, and surely back their daily schedules when it’s realistic.” “You have to be physically strong, eat right, and you need all the energy to keep at it. I did not overeat, or put on excess weight. At each step, I was careful.”

This is what she’s to say about anxiety that is related to childbirth, “Even though my baby was premature and in the intensive care after birth, I tried to remain calm.”

Many new moms find that guilt gets in the way of rekindling their old interests just as well. Says Govitrikar: “Our orthodox society holds impossible standards for the ‘ideal’ mother.” “A mother is selfless, endlessly patient and devoted. She actually puts her children first before everything else.”

Given this standard, taking time out for a walk, or manicure at the beauty parlour, can seem selfish. But, you should ‘steal’ a little time for yourself, since you can’t keep giving without replenishing your inner self. “If you don’t participate in activities that make you feel good, you won’t be happy and relaxed enough to fully engage with your child.”

Recalls Govitrikar, “I had my husband’s full support and attention. I enjoyed every moment of my pregnancy, even with my little seven-year-old Kiara around. There was so much bonding cultivated, which is equally important for the other sibling too.”

Interact and relax

Interactions with the newborn as well as other children in the house such as playing, reading, telling stories, and singing songs, or just being together, are considered vital for positive child development. When you have finished feeding the baby and when the baby is asleep, find time to rest too. Says Govitrikar, “I do yoga to relax and have just begun working-out!”

Govitrikar is now back in shape, and she looks gorgeous and radiant as ever. She is also regular with her exercises, and visits the gym often. Presently, she is doing a bit of cardio and weight-training, and plans to eventually get back to what it was all before.

Today, Govitrikar appears in a number of advertisements, still looking like a youngster. For the Gladrags Supermodel, who won the contest in 1997 – her first big break – Govitrikar plans to study further and specialise someday in cosmetology!

She observes: “Depression after childbirth usually occurs with reduced interaction with normal social and personal routines. So, hang in there and recharge your batteries, because it’s just what you need to look after your little one!”

The post What moms should know appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

But, as thousands of parents load their kids on the camp bus and wish them goodbye, many quietly worry about entrusting their childrens’ health and safety to camp supervisors.

Sports and adventure camps are physically demanding, especially in the heat of summer. As more campers than ever have health conditions like asthma, and diabetes, this raises special concern at camps. Add to this, food allergies and dietary restrictions, parents would do well to check if a camp can “tailor” meals to meet special diet needs.

Health and safety

Parents can do a lot to keep their kids safe and healthy at the summer camp, says paediatrician Dr Sanjeev Ahuja, who specialises treating children who suffer from environmental health hazards. “Summer camp is great, and there’s a summer camp for every kid,” says Ahuja. “But, parents need to be honest about their children. What are their likes and dislikes? What is their health status? Parents need to ask a lot of questions about the camp staff before the camp starts – to make sure the camp is able to protect their safety and respond to health emergencies.” Parents should also ask about the emergency medical training levels of the aquatic staff and inquire about medical facilities, advises Ahuja.

Summer time is for “all-around development,” so what constitutes an ideal camp?

All parents should find out about the camp’s philosophy. Is it a general camp or specialised? Says Gool Ghadiali, Principal of Gopal Sharma International School, Mumbai: “We are sending our students to Turkey on a ‘World Children’s Meet’ on ‘Global Warming.’ Our children will not only be representing the school but our country; so, we will be training our staff and kids as well.”

Remember, psychological wellbeing is just as important as physical health, so parents must find out whether their child would be allowed to call home if s/he is feeling homesick.

Type of activity

How much physical activity do campers have, and what’s the potential for injury during such activities? If it’s a sports camp, you’d do well to know whether trainers and coaches are prepared to handle sprains, strains, heat stroke and other emergencies.

“It can be very difficult for camps to get healthcare providers, so parents need to ask what training the staff have gone through,” says Babita Sharma, who religiously sends her kids for camping every summer. She advises: “Ask the camp director how long it takes for an ambulance to get to the camp, and which hospital would someone, who is sick or injured, be sent to.”

Safety is an important factor while choosing a camp, voices Commodore Shirke, Chief of Go-Karting Centre at Powai, Mumbai. “Stringent counsellor-to-camper ratio and staff qualifications are mandatory for supervision. This includes rock-climbing, swimming, archery, and camp trip activities.”

A great deal can be done to address wistfulness before a camp begins, starting with a realistic assessment of whether a child is ready to go to a sleep-away camp. “It’s always good to first try ‘play-at-camp’ a little bit, and sleepovers are great for that,” says Babita. Parents should also talk frankly with children weeks before they leave about how it’s all right to miss home, while emphasising on the fun and new experiences that the camp will bring for them.

Do your homework

• Go beyond what’s in the brochure
• Go for parent-teacher pre-camp meeting/s. Get the contact mobile numbers of supervisors on the camp
• Inquire about new staff credentials and qualifications
• Ask about the qualifications of the camp’s staff and supervision procedures, including discipline/policies. Do they meet your expectations?
• Any written plan must include, among other things, provisions for medical, nursing and first-aid services. Injuries and illnesses must be reported to parents
• Does the camp require medical records for campers?
• Are camp facilities and activities safe?
• Is lifeguard or water safety instructor qualified? Are campers required to wear life-jackets when boating or canoeing?
• Are flammable materials stored away from activity centres and kept under lock and key?
• Are functioning smoke detectors located in every sleeping room?
• Are good health practices observed in camp kitchens, dining areas, and food services? Does the camp serve food your child likes?
• Be informed by the camp director, or his or her designee, of any incident involving your child, including serious injury, illness or abuse.

The time and effort spent in selecting a camp your youngster will attend is important. Keep in touch, if it is your child’s first camp experience. And, most of all, stop worrying, and give your kid a good, happy send-off!

The post Joy of Summer Camp appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.