To me, Ralph Waldo Emerson has always been an absolute favorite. His ideas never fail to trigger a sweeping thought process.

Here, he is touching upon one of the most pervasive of human drawbacks—insisting on agreement. Our society emphasizes external signposts, making us crave for an endorsement of our thoughts and actions. We feel berated if our ideas and thoughts do not receive the approval of others. Emerson acknowledges that he’s vulnerable to falling into the trap of self-condemnation when someone disagrees with him. So, he’s telling himself, rather sternly, that he must resist the temptation of feeling rejected or mistreated simply because someone contradicts him.

Being contradicted is OK

When someone holds a viewpoint that is contradictory to ours, it means nothing more than a difference of opinion. Viewpoints are judgements we make based on our understanding of an event, a situation or an idea.

People are entitled to their opinions and if someone airs an opinion not consistent with yours, it only defines that individual, and not you. Emerson’s words are nudging you to look for your locus of control, which determines how you react to contradictory viewpoints. If your locus of control is inside you, you will choose to react in a self-enriching manner. But if it is outside you—meaning that it depends on other people’s good opinions—then you will allow your life to be governed by those others. You will become a people-pleaser, whose self-worth derives from external validation.

Japanese-born baseball champion Ichiro Suzuki believes that “people striving for approval from others become phony.” By all means, enjoy praise and appreciation when it comes your way. But, for the sake of your happiness and peace of mind, don’t rearrange your priorities to please others or avoid their criticism.

Take criticism with grace

All of us are criticized for our thoughts or our actions from time to time. Wisdom lies in accepting criticism with grace. When someone disapproves your thoughts, you do not have to accept the disapproval as true. Instead, choose to examine the contrasting viewpoint from a neutral perspective; accept it if it agrees with your understanding, reject it if it doesn’t.

Keep in mind that being open to alternative views does not mean accepting them. It only means that you allow an opinion that is different from your own. That’s what Friedrich Nietzsche meant when he said, “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”

Emerson and Nietzsche are teaching us the value of tolerance. They are reminding us that in the world of individuals, absolute rights and wrongs don’t exist. What is right for one, may be wrong for another. Once we understand and accept that each individual has the right to choose his way as he deems fit, we will become more accepting of the choices of others. Moreover, we will become more assertive of our own choices—then there will be no need to try and comply with someone else’s idea of right or wrong.

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Albert Schweitzer [14 January 1875 – 4 September 1965] was a German-French theologian, musician, philosopher, and physician. He received the 1952 Nobel Peace Prize in 1953 for his philosophy of ‘Reverence for Life’. He is the founder of the Albert Schweitzer Hospital in Lambarene, now in Gabon, west central Africa [then French Equatorial Africa].

My Interpretation

There are two powerful thoughts in this quote. The first destroys the widespread misconception that success is necessary for happiness [it isn’t, even though it appears to be that way]. This is evident from observing the world around us. All people who are ‘successful’ in the traditional sense of the word, are not necessarily happy. That’s because we tend to equate success with wealth, fame, power and other worldly stuff.

Schweitzer turns around the popular misconception on its head when he says that success, far from being the key to happiness, is an outcome of being happy. Happy people are always successful, though their success may not be in areas of wealth, fame or power.

Schweitzer goes on to add that when you do what you love doing, success is inevitable. There are two interpretations of this second part of the quote, both equally valid and powerful.

First: Schweitzer believes that success is about being happy in doing what you do. You can be a successful housewife if that is what you love doing. On the other hand, if you’re an extremely ‘successful’ lawyer or doctor, but you’re not happy, then are you really successful?Second: when you do what you love doing, then you are bound to succeed because you will do it more passionately and be happy doing it.

In the ultimate analysis, Schweitzer wants us to know that it is happiness that is a pre-requisite for success, not the other way around.

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Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.—Mark Twain

Mark Twain, whose real name was Samuel Clemens, was one of the greatest authors and a humourist par excellence. His novels, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer are considered classics in American literature and he is one of the most extensively quoted personalities in modern literature.

My Interpretation

As children we dream of doing a million things “when we grow up”. Yet, all through the years, we hear people telling us to “get real”. All of us encounter such people, who may be disguised as our colleagues, teachers, siblings, friends or, some cases, even our parents. In the above quote, Mark Twain warns us to stay away from such people.

Twain says this because he is convinced that each individual is potentially great. He’s also sure that the world is full of discouraging people, who point out many reasons why you can’t be great. Note the tone of the quote—it’s an alert that we must watch out for such people. Twain also believes that people who point out your limitations can’t see your greatness because they themselves lack it. Mark Twain tells us to be wary of such individuals because they may inadvertently hamper our greatness.

If you study the lives of successful individuals, you will observe that they defied resistance early on. They ignored the dissuading advice that came their way from “small” people who didn’t understand how they will reach those goals. According to Twain, we can expect authentic encouragement only from those who are themselves great. Such individuals see potential greatness in everyone and consequently promote self-confidence and determination among others.

In our quest to seek out our greatness, we would do well to be around people who provide the much-needed dose of reassurance, while being cautious about everyone who points out that we don’t have it in us.

So, the next time someone ask you to “get real”, ignore their advice and continue to pursue your greatness.

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I am realistic – I expect miracles

– Dr Wayne Dyer

My interpretation

Dr Wayne W Dyer is a bestselling American author and lecturer. He is also one of my top favourites. His 1976 book Your Erroneous Zones has sold over 30 million copies and is one of the best-selling books of all time. Readers have benefited so much from his works that they have christened him “Father of Motivation”. Dyer has a doctorate in counselling psychology.

I find Dyer’s quote on miracles fascinating. People commonly believe exceptional events that defy science to be miracles. Events are labelled miracles, just because science can’t offer an explanation to them at that time. So when something unexplainable happens, believers label it as a miracle and something that we shouldn’t normally expect, because it is rare and supernatural. On the other hand, sceptics, atheists and scientists dismiss it as fraud, fakery or try to explain it by conjecture. But if you listen to Dyer, neither view does justice to the word ‘miracle’.

According to Dyer, miracles are not exceptional events. They are everyday phenomena that cannot be explained by the current levels ofscientific understanding. For instance, to a person in the 19th century, a wireless device that allowed him to talk to someone at the other end of the globe would be nothing short of a miracle. Yet, mobile phones are commonplace today. So, miracles do not necessarily defy science.

Despite tremendous progress of science, there is much that we do not understand about our world, our universe. Expecting miracles simply means that we are humble enough to accept this limitation of our understanding and that we are open enough to expect events that are currently unexplainable.

When Dyer declares emphatically that he is being realistic because he expects miracles, he is only acknowledging his humility and open-mindedness. Dyer seems to be speaking from his experience and the experiences of hundreds and thousands of individuals who have encountered events that they describe as miracles.

So if you believe that miracles don’t happen, you’re being unrealistic!

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In wanting I give to receive, In loving I receive from giving

—Author unknown

I once received this beautiful quote as a message from an evolved soul. I find that there is wisdom and truth in it.

When we give something with an intention, deep down, there is a wanting that motivates our ‘giving’. The intention may be purely material—as in giving our services to a company in return for monetary benefits. It could be something as noble as giving charity, expecting in return a feeling of contentment and worthiness. The intention is immaterial, as long as it is there.

When we give without any intention, love is the inspiration. When we love, selflessly and unconditionally, we simply give. There is no intention and no reason. It is giving for its own sake. The accompanying pleasure and delight is unexpected. We receive even without wanting to. The longstanding saying, “what goes around comes around” resonates this truth perfectly.

Great individuals like Mahatma Gandhi and Mother Teresa demonstrated such love. They loved humanity and gave their heart, their soul, indeed their whole life, to the services of others—without expecting anything in return. Modern thinking is driven by the philosophy of “what’s in it for me?” and quite often, we apply it even to our relationships. When we love with the expectation of receiving, we are not loving, we are only wanting.

Here’s the irony: In wanting, very often there are no guarantees of receiving, even though the intention of giving is to receive. In loving, there is no intention to receive, but we do receive each time we give. What we receive though, is invisible, intangible, and priceless.

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Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else – you are the one who gets burned.

– Siddhartha Gautama [Buddha]

My interpretation

Siddhartha Gautama, founder of Buddhism, was easily one of the greatest spiritual teachers to have ever lived. Born to a king around 583 BC, Prince Siddhartha Gautama renounced the material world in his quest for enlightenment. His teachings continue to influence modern philosophy and spirituality.

In the above quote, Siddhartha beautifully points out the futility and absurdity of anger. Even though he said it eons ago, it is still true. Anger, according to him, is a self-defeating emotion. When we’re angry at another person, we harm ourselves more than we harm the other.

Ironically, recent research has shown what Siddhartha seemed to know centuries ago: that people who get angry often are three times more likely to contract a heart disease than the calmer lot. Chronic anger is also known to cause or aggravate high blood pressure, diabetes, kidney malfunction, urinary problems, weakened immune system, digestive disorders, prolonged headaches and even cancer.

But if you ask me, we don’t need medical science to tell us that anger is bad for us. Ponder what he said and you will realise that he was speaking an irrefutable truth that resonates among us each time we experience anger. Don’t we feel terrible, physically and emotionally, when we’re angry?

Siddhartha’s hot coal analogy contains a simple, yet powerful lesson. Anyone with half a brain knows how absurd it is to hold burning coal in your hands, even if the intention is to throw it at someone else. By likening anger to burning coal, he makes it clear that anger does more harm to the angry than to those at whom the anger is directed.

His quote is apt for the modern times, especially when so much of our anger is directed at people we watch on news channels or read about in newspapers. Even if we do not approve of the happenings in our world, becoming angry is not the solution – it is, in fact, counter-productive. Remember, anger is just one letter short of danger.

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To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

My interpretation

Ralph Waldo Emerson was an American essayist, philosopher, and poet whose writings and teachings were responsible for the growth of metaphysical beliefs of the 19th century United States. For those who are unaware, Emerson was strongly influenced by the Vedas.

To me, Ralph Waldo Emerson has always been an absolute favourite. His ideas, like Mark Twain, never fail to trigger a sweeping thought process.

In the above quote, Emerson appears to be strongly campaigning for individuality. But, there is a hidden warning in what he says: the world, the people around you, will always curb individuality. To be able to express who you really are, you need courage and determination. Emerson knew that the society is structured to discourage individual expression and promote a herd mentality. It’s easier for those in power to influence people who think like a herd, where individual opinions don’t exist.

Emerson accords a high status to those who manage to retain their uniqueness and their individualism in this world. He goes on to state that if you can manage to maintain your distinctiveness, then that is the greatest accomplishment.

His idea is easy to verify if we look at the greatest individuals to have walked upon this planet. Almost all of them have, to use the words of Einstein, encountered violent opposition to their ideas. But they persisted. Most people who are venerated and revered as great today, were ridiculed and persecuted in their days. They remained authentic to themselves. And that is what made them great.

Emerson is egging us to be daring and original because that is the greatest accomplishment.

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“If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?”

—Stephen Levine

My interpretation

Stephen Levine is a poet and teacher of guided meditation and healing techniques. He and his wife Ondrea, have counselled people who are dying and their loved ones for more than 30 years. Stephen Levine’s bestselling books Healing into Life and Death; A Gradual Awakening; and A Year to Live are considered classics in the field of conscious living and dying.

As a counsellor for the terminally ill, Levine has spent a lot of time understanding the psychology and process of death and dying. His quote stems from knowing how we tend to get so wound up in our routines that we forget the most basic of needs – that of loving and being loved. This is evident in this beautiful quote above, where he is urging us to think about what really matters to us. Levine knows that expressing love is the most beautiful and most fulfilling of human experiences. Yet, most of us tend to withhold this lovely experience because of any number of reasons. May be it is a cultural thing, or ego, or even lack of time – the outcome is the same. We do not express love to our loved ones.

In the above quote, Levine makes a strong case for expressing love. The beauty of the quote is in its sense of urgency. Levine urges us to express our love right now, without wasting a moment. Through his tongue-in-cheek question, “And why are you waiting?” Levine is telling us that we don’t need to wait for our deathbed to express love, appreciation and all that is good. We must do it now.

We can judge the potency of Levine’s citation by what was observed during the 9/11 terror strikes. In the post-strikes coverage, one thing that touched us all was how everyone on board the four ill-fated aircraft, as well as those trapped in the two World Trade Centre towers, knew they were about to die… and how most of them were “dying” to reach out to their loved ones. Some of them even managed to speak to their spouses, children, parents. All of them said almost the same thing, “I think I am going to die and I just wanted to let you know that I love you”.

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“What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult”
Sigmund Freud

My interpretation of the quote

Austrian neurologist and psychologist, Sigmund Freud is best remembered as the father of psychoanalysis. Although, several theories he propounded are considered controversial by many, his impact on psychotherapy cannot be overemphasised.

In the above quote, Freud says that children are far more intelligent than adults. He says they are radiant because they are fearless. Their minds are gallant because they allow their imagination to run riot. They are vivid and boundary-less in their mental pursuits because they have not yet learnt about the “limitations”, which are a construct of the adult mind. This is evident from his use of the word “feeble” when describing the intelligence of an average adult. Freud is obviously quite unimpressed by the mind of the average adult, which is mostly fraught with constraints – real or imaginary. Most adults do not allow their minds to expand to new horizons because venturing into unfamiliar territory is a scary proposition. Weakness, then, is the hallmark of the average adult mind, according to Freud. Contrast this with a child, whose mind is not yet aware of the meaning of “limitation” and therefore simply explores all possibilities. It does not matter to the child whether it is in the realm of possibilities; he or she simply embarks upon new, exciting mental journeys.

Freud’s use of the word “average” for adults also implies that he believes that there are some adults who are not average. These have retained their childlike courage and therefore manage to also retain their radiant intelligence. Freud’s belief that children are more intellectually radiant is reflected in that all-time favourite quip from Albert Einstein who strongly believed that “imagination is more powerful than knowledge”. Freud seems to be telling us to be as daring as a child in our intellectual pursuits – and this will lead us to discover a sparkle that’s been missing in our lives.

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Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities — always see them, for they’re always there.
Norman Vincent Peale

My interpretation

Author Normal Vincent Peale is best known for advocating optimism in his book, The Power of Positive Thinking, considered one of the most widely read self-help motivational books. First published in 1952, it stayed on the New York Times bestseller list for 186 consecutive weeks. The book has sold around millions of copies and has been translated into several languages.

Here, Peale is telling us to see opportunity in adversity. He says that no matter what the circumstances of our lives, we always have an option to change them. According to Peale, possibilities always exist, even if we can’t see them because of the “dark” shadows that have temporarily hindered our vision.

Peale’s quote is of an eternal optimist who strongly believes that we have within us the power to change our lives for the better, if only we shift our thoughts to what is possible, rather than dwell on what is wrong with our lives. By focusing on the negative, we end up investing our energies in what we don’t want. Instead, Peale tells us to become one who makes things possible. Peale has coined an interesting word to describe such a person – possibilitarian. The word says it all. A possibilitarian always looks for possibilities, never at what is not possible.

To become a possibilitarian, all we need to do is raise our sights and see the possibilities. What he means by raising our sights is to look beyond our current life situation. By doing so, we will find that the world is indeed full of possibilities. When Peale says, “Always see them, for they’re always there,” he means that possibilities are always there but they need to be sought. They can be spotted only if we look for them and are open to them. His core message seems to be that it’s important for us to keep our hopes alive, however hopeless our situation seems – because possibilities exist.

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