In our great epic, the Mahabharata: Bhishma Pitamaha, the divine son of the sacred River Ganga, is asked about the source of sin and evil in the world. Bhishma replies to his questioner, Yudhishtira, a young King seeking wisdom. “From greed, sin and all adharma flows, a stream of misery. Greed is the poisoned spring of all cunning and hypocrisy in the world. It is greed which makes people sin… Greed is the source of evil.”

Like lust, greed is also a severe internal affliction, a diseased condition of the mind that leaves us permanently dissatisfied, permanently insecure and permanently in a state of lack, want and need. As the wise old saying goes, “He who loves money excessively, never has money enough.” The more you acquire, the more you covet, and the more you dwell in want and insecurity. An offshoot of this insecurity is the fearful need to hoard, store and cling to the wealth you have amassed.

Hoarding and spending

Greed manifests itself in two broad tendencies — the impulse to hoard and the impulse to spend extravagantly. In the first case, the ‘victim’ is obsessed with amassing more and more wealth and putting it away safely for a future need. Such a man cannot trust Providence for the morrow: he is determined that he will be his own provider, and will not look to God to take care of his needs; he trusts his avarice and miserliness more than he trusts God’s generosity and compassion!

The ‘big spenders’, as they are called, are on an acquisition spree; they cannot stop buying things that they don’t really need. Bigger, better, newer, faster… whatever the excuse, they keep spending on luxuries and whims, indulging their urge to splurge and acquire more and more…

Root cause of unhappiness

I would say that this tendency to accumulate material wealth, the craving for more and more, is the root cause of human unhappiness. Greed, listed as one of the seven deadly sins in the Christian teachings, binds people with fetters that shackle their capacity for self-fulfillment and inner harmony. The more we are attached to a house, a car, a piece of jewellery or an object, the more we lay ourselves open and vulnerable to unhappiness. The desire to possess leads gradually on to the impulse to accumulate and hoard. Invariably, we begin “keeping up with the Joneses” as they put it in England – i.e. constantly comparing ourselves with our neighbours, and trying to be one up on them.

Our senses are instruments of cognition that Nature has blessed us with; they tell us to eat when we are hungry and seek warmth when we are cold. The fulfillment of such needs is essential for human survival. It is only when our needs and wants become unreasonable and obsessive that they cease to be natural and enter the danger zone of covetousness.

Goal of life

Artha or wealth, is one of the purusharthas or legitimate goals of life. But we must understand that amassing wealth is not the sole aim of our life on earth — it is only the means to a higher end. Our money, our assets, our car, our house and all our worldly goods (acquired by fair, honest means) can help us and our loved ones lead a life free from want and deprivation. At a higher level, they can help us help others who are not as fortunate as we are. In other words, wealth is an aid to living life well; it cannot be the ‘be all and end all’ of our life!

Unfortunately, our society today recognises and equates accomplishment and success with money. In business, sports or entertainment, a ‘star’ or a ‘leader’ is valued by the millions he has amassed, the size of his bungalow and the car he drives. I do not grudge these celebrities the money they make but I am pained by the fact that we lesser mortals compare ourselves to them, and feel frustrated, inadequate and insecure!

Happiness and success cannot be measured in terms of money, power, position, wealth or social status. For a man may have all of these and still be miserable. The world thinks that a millionaire is a ‘successful’ man. Success is measured by the yardstick of inner happiness – your ability to be happy and make others happy; the ability to love and be loved by others; the ability to live in harmony with those around you, with your own self and God’s cosmic laws.

The post How greed takes away our joy appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Re-address your spending

Catherine, a 30-year-old professional woman who is one of my clients,told me she couldn’t afford to buy a property. We discussed how much she spent on clothes, alcohol, going out, impulse purchases, magazines, unused hair and make-up products, and came to the conclusion that it amounted to a lot of wasted money. I then worked with her to change the negative spending habits in her mind. Within a couple of months of making changes to her spending, Catherine had paid off some of her credit card debts. Within a year, she had saved enough for a deposit and, by being realistic about the areas she could afford to buy in, was able to buy a property.

My advice

By looking at the financial facts, you can see where you are going wrong. Different choices and decisions will make your dreams come true.

Money can come from unexpected sources

A client called Trisha told me that she had to move to another part of the country temporarily, for six months, and didn’t need her furniture at the new place. She was stressed because she didn’t have the money to put her furniture into storage until she returned to the area and she couldn’t leave it in the flat, which she was only renting. After working to release the negative stress, I told her to imagine the move had all worked out amazingly well and that it was financially amazing too. She was skeptical, but said she would give it a go. Two weeks later, Trisha came back for another session and told me the most amazing story. A man who was a potential new tenant came to view the flat she was moving out of. As he was leaving, he popped his head back around the door and said, ‘You wouldn’t be interested in letting me rent your furniture for six months if I take the flat, would you?’ So, on the day Trisha moved out, she packed her food, clothes and toiletries into her car and drove away. In exchange for being able to leave all her furniture and general household belongings in the flat, she was being paid £400 a month. Instead of having to pay storage fees, she had an income.

My advice

Work to release the negative beliefs by following the techniques in this book and then presume things will work out amazingly well. If you do have to store your belongings have a good clear out so you don’t pay to store things you don’t need.

Amazing things can happen

A client called Nigel told me he couldn’t continue struggling to pay all the costs of having children and general living expenses and that, as he only had enough money to pay the interest on his mortgage, the amount he owed was never going to reduce. After working in the session to release his negative fears, I told him, “Things can happen. Things change. Think amazing.” Less than a week later, Nigel’s father-in -law decided to give his daughter and her husband £100,000 to reduce their mortgage. Nigel was amazed at how the amazing had worked!

My advice

You may not have a rich relative, but you don’t need to know what the amazing, unexpected things will be. Just know that they will be amazing. Be open to paying off your mortgage early. Say to yourself, ‘We’ve paid off the mortgage in an amazing way.

Even a bad situation can turn into the best thing

A self-employed client lost his best customer, which meant that his income stopped almost overnight. I helped him to believe that it was amazing for him. A few days after his appointment with me, he woke up with the idea of pushing into other markets. The old client had made him so busy he had overlooked more lucrative areas of work. He kept the amazing feeling going, which led him to find new and better clients.

My advice

By releasing the negative beliefs and keeping in the amazing zone, you can make even better things happen.

Get the job you want with the salary you want

Sarah, a freelance journalist, was offered a dream job working for a magazine. But she didn’t want to accept it because it involved a significant reduction in her salary. I did some hypnotherapy sessions with her. I explained to her, “It isn’t your dream job unless you have the salary you want. You’ll make amazing things happen when you let go of old, limiting habits in your subconscious mind. After the session, Sarah’s new confidence and positive self-belief enabled her to tell her prospective employer that she would only accept the job if the salary was the figure she wanted. The company agreed to pay her what she asked for. So she got her dream job and dream salary, and over the next couple of months she used the money that was still owed to her to clear her credit cards, putting her totally on top of her finances. The amazing thing about this story is that the magazine that gave Sarah her dream job and salary was the same one that had originally commissioned her as a freelance journalist to write an article about how my hypnotherapy services could make one wealthier!

My advice

Think through how amazing you are and why you deserve a better salary. Then have the confidence to ask for Think amazing outcome. Say, ‘I can do it. I am doing it. It is done. I have an amazing job and amazing salary.” If you don’t get that job, your new positivity will already be creating an opportunity for something better to come our way.

Increase your sales

Mark was a salesman who had had a run of a few months with low sales. He began to feel bad about selling and found that he couldn’t tell prospective customers about all the products because it sounded as though he was trying to get lots of money from them. So, to avoid the anxiety he felt when he told them about all the items in the range, he limited himself to mentioning just a few. After I worked to release the recent negative program that had built up in his mind, he felt relief. A few weeks later, he called to say that he had been responsible for the biggest sale the company had ever had!

My advice

If you are having a bad run of sales, be aware that it is just a habit that has developed in your subconscious mind and that can be easily rectified. Think of selling as informing the client of all the options. They will ultimately do what is right for them and knowing all the options available will be helpful to them. Hypnotherapy sessions and recordings are perfect for keeping in the positive sales zone. In fact, every sales person I have ever worked with as a hypnotherapist has gone on to increase their sales figures. Try hypnotherapy to increase your wealth Sam bought my hypnotherapy recording Money – Increase your Wealth, which she listened to in order to help her change bad money beliefs and get out of a financial rut. After listening to it over a period of two months, she doubled her annual income from £18,000 to £36,000 because she had the confidence to apply for a much better paid job and – to her surprise – she got it.

My advice

Be open to hypnotherapy.

Be your own boss

Steve, an experienced builder and senior executive in a building firm, had the idea of starting up a new building business but, due to the recession, he thought it might be too risky. After some appointments with me, he decided to leave his old job. Then, by using the amazing zone feeling, he self-talked himself into success and used other techniques described in this book to keep himself positive. He did some freelance work to help pay his bills before his own building projects were up and running. ‘I had the self-belief to go after my dream despite the recession; he told me. ‘Because I had a new inner confidence, I packed in my job and have begun to create my own destiny:With hard work and believing in the amazing, his turnover in the first year was one million pounds! By the third year, he was turning over five million pounds.

My advice

Remember, Steve was starting a business with skills he had built up over many years, which is very different from starting a new business that you know nothing about. So, while you build a new business and new skills, be aware that you may need to keep doing your old job to support yourself until you start earning money. Being self-employed is hard work, so be prepared to put in the hours to set things up. Treat every customer with respect, as they could lead you to more customers. Keep expenses down, and be careful – it could be a while before you build up a good reputation and create a good income. Sometimes in life, you just have to go for things because they feel right. Your determination and good feelings will make you successful. Focus determines your reality. Believe amazing things will happen, but be grounded too.

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Then a few years ago, at a mini school re-union, I learned that Rishi had passed away. What was most disheartening was that in his last few years, he was forced to live on the streets, completely broke, living on charity of his erstwhile neighbors and acquaintances.

This news disconcerted me and I started doing some digging into his life when I found an old article about him in a prominent Mumbai newspaper. It reported that Rishi’s father had died leaving him clueless about the business. Rishi was left with only his father’s debt and a crushed spirit.

Being Broke Is Temporary

As I ponder the life and death of my dear friend, I wonder what could’ve prevented the disastrous turn of events in his life.

Perhaps the answer can be found in Michael Todd’s powerful words: “I’ve never been poor, only broke. Being broke is temporary. Being poor is a state of mind.” An American theater and film producer, and erstwhile husband of Elizabeth Taylor, Michael’s business career was volatile, and his failed ventures left him bankrupt several times. However, that didn’t stop him from continuing to try.

Life is unpredictable. Even the most competent among us can face an unexpected crisis—financial turmoil, sudden loss of job or a health emergency—anything. Whether we recover from it depends on our having the one wealth that really matters: spirit. Without spirit, even the greatest talent is useless.

Let me explain this in terms of money. Most people who are born poor think of poverty as a curse. They often equate poverty with lack of money. But poverty is never about money. There are scores of examples of people who, although born in ‘poor’ circumstances, have risen to create unimaginable wealth.

Real Wealth

Ask any wealthy man what his real wealth is and it’s a good bet that he will point to something other than his bank balance or financial assets. When Dhirubhai Ambani was asked what he attributed his success to, he thumped his chest and said “Courage”. Courage is really a form of spirit. Spirit can take any form—passion, enthusiasm, determination, faith, creativity.

When a rich man loses his spirit he loses everything—even his money. And when a poor man’s spirit is ignited, nothing can keep him from getting rich.

There’s only one kind of poverty then—the poverty of spirit. When we become de-spirited, we become poor. Conversely, when our spirits are intact, our wealth can never leave us, even when we’re broke.

The post Being Broke Is Temporary But Being Poor Is a State of Mind appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

One night, as Nagarjuna was preparing to retire for the day in the ruins of some ancient monastery, he sensed the presence of someone. Upon probing, he found a thief hiding behind one of the columns. He held out his golden begging bowl, and said to the thief, “Here take this. This is all that I have. I hope now you won’t disturb me while I’m sleeping.”

Delighted, the thief grabbed the bowl and ran away—only to come back next morning. Handing over the bowl to Nagarjuna, the thief said, “Here take this. But I want something else from you. Will you give?”

“What do you want?” asked the great saint.

The thief said, “When you gave away this bowl so freely last night, I realised how rich you were—and I was so poor. O great man, teach me how to acquire the wealth that enabled you to give so freely.”

We derive a sense of safety and self-worth from our possession

The true measure of wealth

While I don’t know what happens afterwards, I suspect that Nagarjuna must’ve freely given away the lesson that the thief wanted—that real wealth has nothing to do with how much we possess. The true measure of wealth lies in our capacity to give freely.

Ordinarily we tend to accumulate, acquire, hoard. One look into our closets, our cabinets, our store rooms and it’s amply evident that we are attached to stuff. We derive a sense of safety and self-worth from our possessions. Yes, we were conditioned to save for that rainy day, and to protect our future. But when we possess beyond all our needs and wants and yet find it difficult to give away, what does it say about our status?

Giving sans value judgements

And even when we do give, we do it sparingly and with dozens of value judgements attached. For instance, we may give only to the poor, the needy or the deserving. Or we give with an ulterior motive—because we expect the favour to be returned. Such kind of giving is transactional and does not reflect wealth.

No matter how big our bank balance and how great our net worth, if we can’t give freely, we’re poor

While giving the golden bowl, Nagarjuna didn’t care whether the man was deserving—after all, he was a thief! Neither did he bother to find out if the thief was needy. How does that matter to a giver? He gives because he can’t help giving. Pure and unadulterated giving doesn’t concern itself with anything else.

No doubt Nagarjuna was tuned into Nature’s great secret—that giving freely is the mark of true wealth. Nature doesn’t discriminate. The apple tree gives its fruit to everyone—the rich, the poor, the hungry and the well fed. The cloud that’s become heavy doesn’t concern itself with whether the land is fertile or barren, the lake is empty or full—it rains without any value judgements. And Nature operates from the position of abundance—it’s intrinsically wealthy.

Tapping into your intrinsic abundance

Those who give freely have an intrinsic sense of security that comes from trusting the universe and knowing that everything is provided for. Such people know that material wealth is transient. It’s here today, gone tomorrow and back again the day after.

No matter how big your bank balance and how great your net worth, if you can’t give freely, you are poor. Likewise, if you can give away even your last possession, you’re wealthy beyond imagination. And such wealth cannot be purchased or earned. It can only come from tuning into your intrinsic abundance.

The post Story of the Thief Who Returned His Loot appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

The specifics are always unique. But this thread of shame shows up in stories and beliefs we all tell ourselves:

• “I’m just not good with money.”
• “I totally screwed up, made a mess, and now I can’t go back.”
• “I still feel strong sadness/guilt/anger/anxiety around such
  and such money experience or memory or pattern and I can’t move on.”
• “I should be better at this by now!”
• “I used to be so good with money, what happened?!”

How money shame surfaces

Money shame can surface in many ways, at different times in our lives. Here are some of the ways in which we can experience it:

• as old stories that are still tangled, waiting to be understood and honoured and forgiven
• in your lineage, perhaps kept alive through a family dynamic of guilt, painful silence, or twisted communication
• hidden in lost memories, triggered by sudden remembering or ah-ha’s or a gradual waking up
• right here and now in your money relationship, as you play out familiar patterns that feel “off” or unconscious or un-aligned
• in little [or big!] moments where you feel unsettled with how you’re showing up in your relationship to money—perhaps you feel queasy or headachy or sleepy, as your body is telling you that something’s not quite right here.

Your money shame could be hidden in lost memories, triggered by sudden remembering or ah-ha’s or a gradual waking up

Why does money shame exist?

While growing up, most of us were not taught skills and tools for understanding and relating to money. We simply were not instructed how to manage money or how to talk about it. The concept of money is a huge territory, where so much is happening: emotionally, psychologically, practically, spiritually and inter-personally. And, whether we admit it or not, whether we love it or loathe it, we all live in this territory, every single day: earning, spending, giving, receiving, losing, borrowing, lending, investing and exchanging money. But we simply weren’t taught how to make sense of any of this in a conscious, healing way.

It’s time to give ourselves the permission, tools, and support we need to bring money back from the taboo-lands and heal our money shame.

There’s a conscious money movement afoot, working to bring money out of the shadows and into the light. It’s bringing awareness, forgiveness, alignment and practical tools to the money conversation. And it’s growing every day.

Gather the courage to face the shame

We all have unique strengths and challenges and growing edges with money. Each of us has places to grow, steps to take, healing that’s ready to happen.

While growing up, we were not taught the skills and tools for understanding and relating to money

In my work, I have asked people what they’re currently working on in their money relationship, and their answers have ranged from healing old wounds to setting up accounting software to having conversations with their children. At a certain point, we wake up and realise that it’s time to face the shame, the unhealthy habits, and have those tough conversations. Many of us avoid this for a long, long time. Money tends to be the last frontier, even for the personal growth aficionados. But after the whispers, or the call, or the giant red flag screaming for attention, one day we decide it’s time to open. It’s time to be brave. It’s time roll up our sleeves and take a real look at our money relationships.

The good news is that once you face the shame, you may realise that it is not that big, hairy monster you imagined it was. You may realise that you’re more on top of things than you thought. Remember that we all have aspects of our money relationship that need ongoing growth and continued exploration. Want to hear some of mine?

• Each year I update my systems or add a new person to my money support team.
• Each year I understand more and forgive more.
• Each year I take new baby steps on this money journey.

When you make the decision to start working with your money shame, soon [sometimes immediately] you will start to see a teeny glimmer of possibility, a path into the other side of money shame.

Money tends to be the last frontier, even for the personal growth aficionados

Be gentle

Words to the wise: we need to add big doses of gentleness here. “Tough love” is not the mode of operation for healing emotional wounds. Shaming ourselves is an old pattern. Telling ourselves, again and again, that we are not doing it right, that we’re not good enough, and that we’re unforgivable is self-directed violence. It’s unhelpful. And, actually it’s flat-out inaccurate. We all make mistakes sometimes in life and in money.

Let’s be gentle with ourselves, especially in these tough moments. Let’s learn some creative ways to respond differently, more lovingly.

How can you attend to your money shame?

Let’s begin with a technique I consider my “trusty tool”, the Body Check In. It’s a simple, fast, and elegant way to work with money shame [or any challenging emotion] when it arises. Here’s the short run down of how to do a Body Check In:

• Pause. Listen. Notice body sensations, emotions, the state of your breath, and
  any thoughts that are passing through your mind.
• Gather data. Info. Clues. These are the keys that open your access deeper into your money relationship.
• Be open and curious. Let yourself get in there, into your body, into your Money Shame. Pull it apart.
• Name some of its tentacles.
• Add more doses of compassion and
  curiosity.
• Move it to the side. See it next to you: “Hello money story/money pattern/money shame. Who are you? What do you have to say?”
• Breathe. Add another dollop of compassion, and two more teaspoons of curiosity. Breathe.

Telling ourselves that we are not doing it right, that we’re not good enough, and that we’re unforgivable is self-directed violence

What to do next

Repeat, repeat, repeat. Do this exercise as many times as you can throughout the day. Do it when you find yourself in tough times or stressed out, or simply feeling “off.” You can do the Body Check In at the grocery store, in the parking lot, getting the mail, reviewing your income and expenses, or even when you are about to have a money conversation with someone.

The Body Check In is extraordinarily simple and extraordinarily difficult. It’s my favourite tool because of its simplicity, elegance, and profound power to uncover your money story and open you into so, so much more. And, it is utterly life changing plus supportive.

Finally, remember always that money shame is big and beautiful, tender and taboo, personal and universal—and bursting with potential. Everyone experiences it. However, you do not have to remain trapped inside these negative emotions or feelings about money. Through understanding and practice, you can break-free from the shame, and grow to have a meaningful relationship with money.

This was first published in the August 2015 issue of Complete Wellbeing.

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Carving different destinies

The first son was not happy. A single piece of wood was worth nothing. Other fathers gave their sons gold and land. He immediately went to the market and sold the piece of wood for a few rupees to the very first buyer, since he didn’t want to wait around in the hot sun for a better price. He then went and spent the money on some alcohol in an attempt to forget his miserly father. The second son went to the market too. The first buyer’s offer price seemed too low, so he went around looking for a better deal. After three days he sold the piece of wood for three times the sum the first son had received. Soon he started worrying about being robbed, so he went to the local banker and kept all his money safely in the bank.

The third son was grateful to his father for giving him such an opportunity and considered this simple piece of wood a blessing. He spent one week visiting different markets and shops to find out what was the best thing he could do with his piece of wood. After 10 days, he saw a handcrafted wooden elephant selling for an exorbitant price. He went inside the shop and saw a few craftsmen working on pieces of wood and creating carved elephants out of them. He liked what he saw and met the owner, offering to work there for a month for free. In return, he wanted to be trained in the art of carving. For one month he faced a lot of hardships, as he didn’t have any money. But he soon learned the art of converting pieces of wood into exquisite handcrafted elephants. He went back to the piece of wood his father had given him, and worked on it to carve an elephant, which he then sold for 40 times the original cost of the wood in the market.

Equal opportunity, unequal success

After a year, the boys’ father came back and was surprised at what he found. His first son had become an alcoholic, who wouldn’t work. His second son was working hard as a farmer, while his money grew slowly with the local banker. He valued safety and security and was unwilling to take calculated risks, so even though he had not lost money like the first son, his investment hadn’t grown a lot. The father was pleasantly surprised to see that his third son was now the owner of a huge shop that employed several wood carvers. The third son had gone on to buy more pieces of wood with the money he had made and had hired people to work for him. He had become one of the richest people in the village by using the same inheritance of one piece of wood.

Invest in knowledge

I request all parents to share the above story with their children and loved ones. Read it over and over again, and you will realise the wonderful lesson behind it. We all have the same piece of wood, and it is in our hands to make sure that we use it in the best possible way. The third son might have taken some time to get started, and had to face more hardships in the beginning compared to his brothers, but he didn’t quit because he believed in what he was doing.

A simple piece of wood with the right knowledge applied to it has the power to do wonders. Remember, no matter how little or how much wealth you have today, it is not a guarantee for what you will have tomorrow. You could be born with a silver spoon and could end up losing it all, or be born with a wooden spoon and end up manufacturing silver spoons for others. The only thing that remains is knowledge. So let us all invest in knowledge, and use that knowledge in every aspect of our lives. You need to be like a sponge, which absorbs as much knowledge as possible. And while learning, be in a playful mood. Smile. Laugh. Learn. You will absorb knowledge much easily when you are not taking yourself too seriously. It will no longer be a task, but a pleasurable experience.

How I used my piece of wood

My father told the same story to me when I was a little boy. Like all little boys, I loved playing with toys—cars, robots, soldiers and other such things that little children like. Mine was a middle-class family and in those days, India was still a closed economy. All these toys were imported from Dubai or Singapore and cost quite a lot in India.

Since my childhood days, I was encouraged to dream big and not let anything stop me from getting what I desired. My parents would frequently travel abroad for work and business and during these trips, they would usually buy lots of toys for me. I would enjoy playing with these and once I was done with them, I would sell them to other kids around me at a decent profit. Kids would buy these toys, because these weren’t available anywhere else—they were rare and desirable.

I was five years old at that time. Buying toys abroad, playing with them and selling them was fun and set the basis for everything else I did and learnt in life about not just saving money, but even investing it and selling my investments at a profit.

Unfortunately children are not taught about money, business, saving and investing in our education system. In life these are the most important skills. Ensure that you teach your children to think positively about life and that they believe nothing is impossible for them—because truly nothing is impossible for them!

Encourage your child’s entrepreneurial spirit

For teaching children about money, you should thrust them into the world of business. Let them start their own businesses, let them sell products, give them freedom rather than preaching to them. Had my family told me, “Don’t sell used toys to other kids, it is not good”, I would never have learnt about money and business.

Parents make the mistake of forcing kids to do things that everyone else is doing, telling them to become MBAs and engineers, even though their kids might be interested in something else. I remember parents telling their kids to spend time studying, rather than giving them the freedom to read and explore this wonderful world. I am happy and thank my parents for giving me so much freedom and at the same time helping me discover my own path.

And above all, the best way to encourage children is to think like a child. Being childlike is the best quality all of us can have, being like a child helps us learn faster, we let go of preconceived notions, we let go of our ego and we are open to new ideas.

Tips for teaching children about money

1. Never hesitate to discuss money, business and ideas about the way money works at the dinner table. Children are the quickest learners; help them become friends with wealth!
2. Encourage your kids to start small businesses and explore their creative instincts. If your child likes to draw—encourage him to start a business where he sells paintings to people in the neighbourhood.
3. Don’t over-burden them with tuitions and extra classes. As a kid, I never took tuitions; I enjoyed studying on my own. In my free time, I read about the world in general, it helped me understand finance, business and life better. Children who are happy will fare better in the world of business and finance.
4. Teach your children to fear nothing as God is within them. Encourage them to ask questions, no matter how crazy these questions are. People who ask questions turn out to be the best investors and businessmen. I started investing when I was 16—because of asking questions.
5. Encourage them to make more friends, meet more people and play more games. The more people and friends they have, the better it is in the long run. People who are socially connected are more likely to succeed. The best doctors and businessmen are usually the ones who have the best social skills.

And lastly, smile and laugh more, as smiling is the best way to make the most of this wonderful life!

The post How a piece of wood can make your child rich appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

Everyone who works with our company is constantly refining their abilities to create money, not simply waiting for a paycheck. We are more than a business; we are also a school. The people who work with us are training to be generalists in business and can swap places with anyone throughout our organisation. We are constantly training everyone associated with us to be generalists in business. And although we have a few strict rules and policies, everyone is encouraged to experiment, to make mistakes, correct them and report their findings at our meetings. Our business is always growing. All of us are continuously learning and changing. It is definitely not a boring place to work in, believe me! Here’s something else I’d like to point out: there is no such thing as a crazy idea in our organisation. In fact, if someone isn’t experimenting with some crazy new idea and making mistakes, we encourage them to do so.

Co-dependent behaviour

Co-dependency is a term psychologists use to describe a person who is attracted to people who are addicted to a substance or some kind of destructive behaviour. To keep it simple, let’s say that you are the co-dependent and you are always finding yourself attracted to alcoholics. You may complain a lot about your alcoholic partner’s behaviour. You may criticise them and even beg them to change. But the truth is that you are just as addicted to this kind of partner as your partner is addicted to their drinking. In fact, if you are a true co-dependent, you would probably lose interest in your alcoholic partner the moment he or she got help and stopped drinking. And pretty soon you’d go out looking for another alcoholic to hook up with.

The co-dependents live in this closed circle of hating how they live but going back to the same pattern again and again. They believe that life is a constant struggle for survival, and of course it is, as long as they keep going back to their stuck, self-destructive patterns.

If you are a true co-dependent, you would probably lose interest in your alcoholic partner the moment he or she got help and stopped drinking

For most people, the employer-employee relationship is a co-dependent one. It is based on an addiction to survival thinking. The very thing employees and employers find most attractive is also the source of their downfall. In this case the paycheck is the addiction. Not that we don’t need money. We do. Back when we had an agrarian society we might have been able to trade potatoes for rent. But can you imagine trying to send the utility company five bushels of potatoes to pay your electric bill, or sending the bank three pigs every month to pay your mortgage?

Of course not.

Survival needs money

The point is that in the past 100 years, money has become almost as necessary for survival as air, water and food. In today’s world, money is synonymous with survival, and when survival is at stake, people get desperate. Out of fear they get hooked up with the easiest and fastest and most secure way to get those dollars in their pockets. They stop taking risks and they stop learning and they stop developing their own potential.

Despite the fact that money has taken such an important place in our society, our educational system still fails to address it directly. Like a stubborn co-dependent who won’t look at what he could do to free himself of his addiction to alcoholic people, the educational system refuses to look at what it might do to teach the actual principles of money, the ethics of money, and how money really works.

Despite the fact that money has taken such an important place in our society, our educational system still fails to address it directly

Sometimes it seems to me that our entire society is avoiding the subject. Even when we do talk about it, in school or on television programmes, we discuss it in sterile and lofty theoretical terms not put it in everyday terms that ordinary people can understand. And our educational system, which should be taking responsibility for teaching about money, continues to treat it as corrupting and evil. Don’t get me wrong. Money can corrupt. But the system seems to use that as an excuse to ignore that money is a cultural necessity in today’s world and can do a lot of good. To say that money is corrupting and evil in a world which runs on money makes about as much sense as saying that pigs or potatoes are corrupting in an agrarian society.

Job security is a myth

Our social system continues to promote the ethic that everything will turn out okay if you just study hard and work hard, if you will just do as you are told, don’t make waves, don’t make mistakes and memorise what you are told. God forbid that you would somehow learn to think on your own or take any real initiative. Our system encourages us to specialise, and to then go out and find a good and secure job.

Maybe a hundred years ago all this looked like a pretty good idea. But today there is no such thing as a secure job. In our rapidly changing world, the myth of job security is kept alive only by schools and businesses, both of whom know better, or should. Similarly, the idea of working your way to the top is obsolete. Too many times, we find ourselves climbing career ladders and getting almost to the top, before we discover that we’ve leaned them against the wrong walls and those walls are coming down.

Let me put it as simply as I can. Security is possible but it can’t be found in a particular job any more. The only way we can have security is through our own knowledge. We need to know how money works in our lives. We need to know how to be flexible and make changes when it is necessary. We need to know how to learn new skills and adapt quickly no matter what happens. In short, we need to learn how to be generalists first and specialists second, not the other way around as our present system teaches us.

Maybe a hundred years ago all this looked like a pretty good idea. But today there is no such thing as a secure job

Business schools are at fault too

When I say let’s learn about money, I’m not saying let’s learn to manipulate and exploit each other for the sake of amassing bigger and bigger fortunes. That’s just another form of addictive behaviour that in the long run isn’t going to help make any of us any happier or any more secure. Let me give you an example:

In the mid-70s, business schools began teaching MBA students to be take-over artists and so-called financial wizards. Instead of teaching them to be visionary business people who could create new goods and services to expand our economy, they were taught to exploit the system, which ended up actually shrinking our economy and creating problems for all of us. A lot of these take-over artists ended up in jail and the American people ended up with a multi-billion-dollar debt to payoff the damage that they did. This is co-dependency and addiction carried to its worst extreme!

Business schools are still teaching MBA students to make money with money, thus creating money managers instead of courageous business leaders. Getting bigger salaries and bonuses has thus become more important than the idea I am most interested in promoting here, that we can actually make an important contribution to our world even as we are getting rich. We can get rich and make a contribution only if we get out of our co-dependent relationship with money and really learn how it works!

Business schools are still teaching MBA students to make money with money, thus creating money managers instead of courageous business leaders

Think of the kind of world we could have if instead of teaching people financial co-dependency we began showing them how to create new products and services that the world needs. Why, we would be breathing new life into the entrepreneurial spirit that once made our country great, a spirit which at the moment seems to be dying a slow death.

Trained to be obsolete

Our greatest ally in all this could be our educational system. But, as everyone knows, that system is in deep trouble. Educators know it, parents know it and students know it. The system’s failure to respond to change is causing a revolt. In every major city public education is sliding into a state of anarchy, where nobody is really in charge. Students know they are being trained to be obsolete. They know that information necessary for their own survival is not being taught in schools. Most of them realise that the idea of working for one company all your life is ludicrous. In spite of this we grow up having the idea drummed into our minds that we should decide on a job or career specialisation in our teenage years. But just stop and think about it for a moment. How many of us have ended up training for jobs in companies or industries that weren’t even around by the time we graduated? We’re not talking about a handful of people here, we’re talking about millions.

Is it any wonder students often rebel not only against their schools but against society? They aren’t stupid, they’re bored. They look around them and they can see that what the society is offering through the schools really isn’t all that relevant. So they cut classes, drop out or simply have little interest. Most students make their way through our educational system for one reason, to get a diploma. They view a diploma as a way to open the next door. Sadly, all too many of them eventually discover that the years spent getting the diploma were a waste of time, with little gained. The doors they thought were there never materialise, and when they do they don’t necessarily open up just because you’ve got a diploma in your hand. And it’s not just high schools that are suffering in this way. Statistics show that there are more unemployed college graduates than ever before in history.

How many of us have ended up training for jobs in companies or industries that weren’t even around by the time we graduated

Shattered dreams

I meet all too many people who are sitting around wondering what happened to their lives. Their dreams aren’t even beginning to come true. Their incomes have hit a plateau and they know that at the rate things are going they will soon find themselves in their retirement years, dependent upon government assistance just to make ends meet. They see just a handful of other people gaining financial well being. As for themselves, they continue to work harder and harder while falling farther and farther behind. What happened to the promise of the good life? they ask themselves. After all, they followed all the rules society taught them—being good, doing as they were told, studying hard, working hard. What could have gone wrong? Well, what went wrong is that they learned, all right, but they learned the wrong lessons.

Unfortunately, most hard-working, promising students have been turned into co-dependent wimps by the time they graduate from high school or college. All they know is how to work hard and do as they are told, in spite of the fact that the job is no longer secure or doesn’t pay enough to keep up with the wildly escalating cost of living.

The only way to keep up with change is with knowledge. Our true wealth is found only in what we know. So many people I encounter in my work are still poor and struggling because they haven’t made enough mistakes in their lives. They have continued to hang onto the co-dependent relationships they were taught in school and that you should avoid making mistakes at all costs. And that belief keeps them imprisoned in their own ignorance more than any other single thing we are ever taught.

The only way to keep up with change is with knowledge. Our true wealth is found only in what we know

Instead of growing people who put their energy into avoiding mistakes, they become paycheck-addicts. Then reality strikes, usually around the age of 35. Suddenly they realise they either hate their jobs or are losing them because the skills they’ve developed have become obsolete. With the world crashing down around their ears, they simply don’t know where to turn. They don’t have any alternatives because they don’t even understand their own co-dependence or what it is doing to their lives.

But what about the boss? Unfortunately, this scenario also fits the heads of most companies. A company of co-dependent wimps never develops much real strength. In the end, the business loses profits and employees from the bottom to the top are left wondering why they were laid off or why they didn’t get raises when, after all, they played by all the rules for success that they were ever taught. Employees, as well as business owners, are finding themselves in this position, too, asking why, wanting to break out of their self-destructive co-dependencies and addictions but not knowing how to do it. Indeed, most companies which are suffering in this way can’t even imagine an alternative.

A new business model

Today, we’re beginning to see a new kind of business coming onto the scene. These successful new companies are either employee-owned or the employees pay to work for the company. I know it sounds absurd for employees to pay to work for a company, but it is already happening and seems to be a trend of the future.

The most successful new real estate companies are either employee-owned or the employees pay a fee every month to belong to the company. The old method of a real estate sales agent splitting a commission with the owner of the company, for example, is being phased out.

Today [in the United States], a real estate agent pays a fee to a company that advertises her or his services throughout the country, or at least through the area the person is working in. The individual salesperson is in business for him- or herself, however, getting the use of the company logo and benefitting from the widespread advertising. But the salespeople are responsible for renting an office, getting their own listings, working with their own customers, and processing their own papers. They pay their own phone bills, their own license fees, and even pay for their own for-sale signs.

Do you see the point I’m getting at here, that they are not just pay-check junkies, they’re not sitting on a stationary bike cranking away at the pedals? They are out there on the road, not just pedalling but steering, balancing and watching for traffic. They have responsibilities in every phase of the process that allows them to make a living.

With these new business structures the less successful salespeople are being phased out. It is a business of perform or perish. No more will the realtor-in-charge provide a desk and services in hopes that the salesperson can sell. The result is that employees are carrying the company rather than the other way around. And it’s working!

This trend of employees paying to work for a company is an idea that every business needs to look at. People want to make their own decisions instead of being dependent on a boss who controls the amount of security they have or the amount of money they make. Our company does it. Not only do my profits grow along with my employees’ earnings, but the people themselves bloom.

This trend of employees paying to work for a company is an idea that every business needs to look at

Our educational system, however, is still teaching people to ask, “Where is my paycheck?” Today, all of us are paying for an educational system geared to training people to be mindless robots who end up working themselves into a corner of economic co-dependence and obsolescence, with no personal wealth of any kind, neither viable skills and knowledge, nor money. They remain addicted to the steady paycheck because they don’t know how money is generated.

How we all pay for our inadequate educational system

1. Business and government leaders who cannot think. Our business schools create MBAs who are creative in accounting so that a business can look good on paper even when profits and growth are diminishing. They offer training in the art of finance and acquisition, which when put into actual practice causes stock prices to jump and then crash. An MBA degree is often a ticket to the top, allowing people to avoid essential work experience. These new leaders lose touch with employees as people, and business becomes an accounting job. The company’s ‘’bottom line” becomes the sole concern and people are treated as little more than troublesome but necessary resources.

2. Exploitation of Resources. Western business only believes in what it can see, touch, smell and taste. It thinks only in terms of tangible objects such as land, oil, gold, trees, crops, machinery, etc. Western society teaches only about the visible. It almost ignores the invisible, those less tangible aspects of our lives such as morale, motivation, self-esteem, trust, the spirit of a group when they are working well together. It has yet to develop a way to teach people how to make use of the invisible world, which is infinitely greater than the visible world.

3. A nation of co-dependent wimps. More and more people blame the government for their problems. And increasing numbers of people spend all their spare time submitting their resumes to other companies, always in search of a better job and benefit package. I overheard a woman in a restaurant gloating to her friend that she had quit her job with a company that was going broke and had gotten a job with the state government for more pay, a better benefits package and less work. On top of that, she was happy because she said it was almost impossible to get fired from the government, so she could just coast along and still have greater job security. And we wonder why our tax burden goes up while less and less gets done! Everyone seems to be looking for a job with more pay and less work.

4. An education that fails those who need it most. Since we punish those who don’t do well in school, they often drop through the cracks and are ignored by the system. When you tell them to get a job that will only keep them at or below the poverty level, the sense of self-worth diminishes. And when a person’s sense of self-worth goes down, the desire and ability to work decreases too. Through this system we literally create hundreds of thousands of welfare-dependent families and people who have no hope for a better life. Under these circumstances, crime increases. As Jesse Jackson commented during the Los Angeles riots in 1992, in an environment of terrible poverty and hopelessness, going to jail is actually an improvement over the life they know. They’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain by committing a crime.

You see, when you start looking at all the factors, you begin to see that every-one would have a lot to gain if we were to teach everybody about money and how it works.

Henry Ford’s real wealth

There’s a little story about Henry Ford that I like to relate when I’m telling people about money and the value of the invisible. As you know, Ford was a multi-millionaire at a time when a million dollars was still a lot of money. Someone once asked him what he would do if he lost everything. Without a pause, he replied, “I’d have it all back in less than five years.” How could he have done that? He could have done it because he knew that his real wealth wasn’t counted in how many dollars he had in the bank, or even in the number of factories or the amount of real estate he owned. His real wealth was in what he had between his ears: the intangible, the invisible, the knowledge he had about what money is really all about. For all their emphasis on knowledge, our schools most neglect this kind of resource.

henry ford’s real wealth was in what he had between his ears

Until our educational system stops punishing people for making mistakes, and until the creation of money is made a part of the school curriculum, people will continue to live lives as co-dependent wimps. They stop growing and stop thinking until the only question they know how to ask is, “Where is my paycheck?”

Adapted from Be Rich & Happy by Robert Kiyosaki; Published in India by Jaico Books; Reproduced with permission. 

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