A Story to Illustrate the Power of Letting Go

There’s a little story that beautifully illustrates the simple power of letting go. A professor holds up a glass of water and asks his class how much it weighs. Various answers are thrown up and the professor admits that they won’t know for sure unless they weigh it. He then asks them what would happen if he held the glass up like that for an hour. Of course his hands would pain, say his students. The professor then asks them what would happen if he held up the glass like that for an entire day. His students laugh and say that he would definitely get some severe muscle problems—maybe even paralysis. But did the weight of the glass change at all, however much time you hold it up, queries the professor. So what causes this muscle ache and stress? Why not put it down, chorus the students. “Exactly!” says the professor.

Life’s problems are something like this. Hold it for a few minutes in your head and they seem fine. Think of them for a long time and they begin to ache. Hold it even longer and they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything. It’s important to think of the problems in your life, but even more important to “put them down” at the end of every day before you go to sleep. That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh and strong and can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way.

Letting go is our way of embracing life, of living in each moment, engagingly and refreshingly.

Why Letting Go Is the Key to Health and Happiness

The simple act of letting go has profound benefits—physical, mental and spiritual.

Holding on, on the other hand, makes us more vulnerable to health problems. For instance anger and hostility are prime suspects in heart diseases. Gastric problems, including acidity and irritable bowel syndrome [IBS] owe their onset to pent-up emotions. This phenomenon is known as somatization, the tendency to translate repressed emotions into actual physical symptoms.

Emotion, kept in cold storage, and reheated and rehashed, is a sure recipe for looking and feeling old. We become susceptible to allergies, racked by chronic ailments, and the more we remain locked in old patterns, the more we close ourselves to new experiences. Just imagine how much energy we expend each day just holding on to all these things, and the frustration, disappointment, anger, and sadness that we accumulate as a result.

Psychologically, letting go is invaluable in building ourselves up from within. We learn from experiences instead of being carried away by their emotional content. We learn to accept and remain neutral, not allowing anger to fuel an already volatile situation, make choices with clarity and without fear.

Related » The Dangers of Emotional Suppression

How to Practice Letting Go in Daily Life

So, how can we let go? How can we release that which keeps us blocked? How can we let clogged up patterns and emotions flow on, away from us? Here are three suggestions to help you “loosen up” and embrace what life has to offer.

1. Practice forgiveness

Forgiveness is extremely liberating. It frees us; and though we may not excuse the act, we can forgive the person who committed it. Thus, we allow negativity and resentment to loosen its tenacious grip on our psyche, and open ourselves to leading a happier life in the present. It is a decision to let go of resentments, while not condoning the act. Forgiveness is the act of untying yourself from thoughts and feelings that bind you to the offense committed against you. Medically, it has proven effects—lower blood pressure, stress reduction, lower heart rate, better anger management skills and enhanced interpersonal relations.

2. De-clutter your mind

Just as you clean your closets and sanitize your homes, how about taking time out—perhaps once a month— to sit down and evaluate exactly what you have kept in your mind? What is it that you have “hoarded” that is bogging you down, hampering your productivity, decreasing your efficiency and pulling you down? Then, simply let it go. Let go for a few minutes each day to start with and then for a longer duration, till it becomes second nature to not think about it. It will be difficult at first, but with meditation and practice, you will master the skill. You will feel so rejuvenated; you will be tempted not to look back.

3. Try creative visualization to let go

This is a process through which you harness the power of your mind to meet your objectives. Picture yourself releasing, letting go of all that is holding you back from peace, contentment, health and happiness. It could be an old resentment, a co-worker’s bad attitude and your hostile feelings associated with him/her, or a lost love. Next, picture yourself exactly as you want to be. Make sure you see this very clearly.

Once you’ve got the picture in your head, think of it often. Not only when you are relaxing or meditating, but also through the day. This is the process of sending that positive energy out into the universe. The more positive energy you send out, the more you will get back.

Lastly, believe that the person you visualize is really you, free from painful attachments and negative memories, already having “let go”. Any disbelief is negative energy, and will counteract what you’re trying to achieve. And once you see it come true, acknowledge that you made it happen. Give yourself a pat on the back. To reward is to reinforce the feeling, energizing it to make it your.

4. Use a Prop

Another powerful technique through which you can release the need to respond to whatever it is that is stirring up your emotions is to visualize and practice this by holding a small, unbreakable item [like a coin or eraser] in your open hand. Imagine that this item is a physical manifestation of what is bothering you; this problem is literally in the palm of your hand. Now, close your fist around the object as tight as you can. Notice the energy that it takes to hold it in such a manner. You may even be squeezing it so hard that it hurts, and you can feel your muscles fatiguing. Keep squeezing, but turn your hand over so your knuckles are up and your palm is facing down. Now – here’s the secret – take a deep breath and just open your hand, letting whatever it is you were clutching simply fall on the floor. This, in essence, is letting go.

You don’t have to have a physical object to practice letting go, but it can be very useful in the beginning to help you develop this response to life’s stressors. You may even consider carrying a small stone, or other items, in your pocket that you can use throughout the day as necessary while you hone this skill.

Regardless of whether or not you use a prop, the idea is that rather than trying to get a better grip on the situation and trying to control it so fiercely that it’s fatiguing, you let it go instead. It certainly seems counter-intuitive, but that only reflects our fear-based desire to exert control over situations that seem to be threatening.

Letting go offers an opportunity to relax into an uncomfortable situation instead of pushing against it. This approach helps calm the mind and nerves, slows down your breathing and racing heartbeat, and makes space for thinking that is less emotionally charged and more likely to be productive.

Conclusion

Letting go of tension and energy that have you emotionally bound up does not mean that the problem at hand will probably simply disappear. But that’s okay because letting go isn’t about evading problems. Rather, it is about giving you an opportunity to release yourself from your own spiraling negative emotions.

Letting go can be very useful for helping you to come back to your center in everyday situations. As with most things, practicing it often will result in greater flexibility and facility. When used frequently, it can literally transform your life.

This is an updated version of the article that first appeared in the September 2008 issue of Complete Wellbeing magazine.

The post How to Practice Letting Go in Daily Life appeared first on Complete Wellbeing.

“Show me this temper,” said Bankei, “it sounds fascinating.”

“I haven’t got it right now,” said the student, “so I can’t show it to you.”

“Well then,” said Bankei, “bring it to me when you have it.”

“But, I can’t bring it just when I happen to have it,” protested the student. “It arises unexpectedly, and I would surely lose it before I got it to you.”

“In that case,” said Bankei, “it cannot be part of your true nature. If it were, you could show it to me at any time. When you were born you did not have it, and your parents did not give it to you — so it must come into you from the outside. I suggest that whenever it gets into you, you beat yourself with a stick until the temper can’t stand it, and runs away.”

Don’t Suppress Anger, Let It Go

It is very easy to control; it is very difficult to transform. You can control your anger, but what will you do? You will suppress it. And, what happens when you suppress a certain thing? The direction of its movement changes: it was going out, and if you suppress it, it starts going in—just its direction changes.

And, for anger to go out was good, because the poison needs to be thrown out. It is bad for anger to move within, because that means your whole body-mind structure will be poisoned by it. You have suppressed so much anger, now there are no moments when you are not angry; at the most, sometimes you are less angry, sometimes more. Your whole being is poisoned by suppression. You eat with anger – and, it has a different quality when a person eats without anger: it is beautiful to watch him, because he eats non-violently. He may be eating meat, but he eats non-violently; you may be eating just vegetables and fruits, but if anger is suppressed, you eat violently.

Just through eating, your teeth, your mouth release anger. You crush food as if this is the enemy. And, remember: whenever animals are angry, what will they do? Only two things are possible – they don’t have weapons and they don’t have atom bombs, what can they do? Either with their nails or with their teeth they will do violence to you. These are the natural weapons of the body – nails and teeth.

Transmute Your Anger Into Compassion

Sensitivity grows with awareness. Through control you become dull and dead — that is part of the mechanism of control. If you are dull and dead then nothing will affect you; it is as if the body has become a citadel, a defence. Nothing will affect you, neither insult nor love.

Anger transformed becomes compassion—because, the energy is the same.

So remember, if you condemn a natural phenomenon it becomes poisonous, it destroys you, it becomes destructive and suicidal. If you transform it, it becomes divine. Anger is just like electricity in your body: you don’t know what to do with it. Either you kill somebody else or you kill yourself. The society says if you kill yourself it is okay, it is your concern, but don’t kill anybody else—and, as far as society goes that is okay.

So, either you become aggressive, or you become repressive.

Meditate Upon It

The basic thing that is needed is to become aware and to know the secret of this energy, anger, this inner electricity. It is electricity because you become hot; when you are angry your temperature gets hot. Electricity is hot – it becomes the source of air-conditioning. Anger is hot — it becomes the source of compassion.

Compassion is inner air-conditioning. Suddenly, everything is cool and beautiful, and nothing can disturb you, and the whole existence is transformed into a friend.

Awareness is needed, not condemnation—and, through awareness transformation happens spontaneously. If you become aware of your anger, understanding penetrates. Just watching, with no judgment, not saying good, not saying bad, just watching your inner sky. There is lightning, anger, you feel hot, the whole nervous system is shaking and quaking, and you feel a tremor all over the body — a beautiful moment, because when energy functions you can watch it easily. When it is not functioning you cannot watch.

Close your eyes and meditate on it.

It is mysterious, and if mystery is not understood it becomes terrible, you are afraid of it. And, whenever a mystery is understood, it becomes a grace, a gift, because now you have the keys – and, with keys you are the master.

Also read » How To Stay Calm and Composed In All Situations

Anger Is Mental Vomit

First things, first. Do not throw your temper on anybody.

Next time, you feel angry go and run around the house seven times, and after that sit under a tree, and watch where the anger has gone. You have not repressed it, you have not controlled it, you have not thrown it on somebody else—because, if you throw it on somebody else a chain is created, because the other is as foolish as you, as unconscious as you. He will throw more anger on you; he is repressed as much as you are. Then, there comes a chain: you throw on him, he throws on you, and you both become enemies.

Anger is just a mental vomit. Something is wrong that you have taken in and your whole psychic being wants to throw it out.

You can go for a long walk—it means that something is inside that needs fast activity so that it is released. Just do a little jogging, and you will feel it is released.

Take a pillow and beat it, fight with the pillow, and bite the pillow until your hands and teeth are relaxed. Within a five-minute catharsis you will feel unburdened, and once you know this you will never throw it on anybody, because that is absolutely foolish.

Last updated on 3^rd July 2020

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